All language subtitles for Class.Rank.2017.WEB-DL.x264-FGT

♪ You won't admit you
love me and so ♪

♪ How am I ever to know
you always tell me ♪

♪ Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪

♪ A million times I've
asked you and then ♪

♪ I ask you over again,
you only answered ♪

♪ Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪

F you can't make up your mind
up we'll never get started ♪

♪ And I don't wind up being
partedbroken harted ♪

♪ So if you really
love me say yes ♪

♪ But if you don't
dear confess ♪

♪ And please don't tell me ♪

♪ Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪

♪ If you can't make
your mind up ♪

♪ We'll never get started ♪

♪ And I don't wind up being
parted broken harted ♪

♪ So if you really
love me say yes ♪

♪ But if you don't
dear confess ♪

♪ And please don't tell me ♪

♪ Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪

♪ Perhaps, perhaps ♪

♪ Perhaps ♪

If we renew our contract,
we will get a 14% discount.

As the board's foreign language
committee rep, I recommend

that we renew the oui! Contract
because of the excellence of

the textbooks but also because
we will save the taxpayers

valuable money.

I now open the issue to the
public before we vote.

Yes, Bernard.

Thank you, Ms. Parikh.

Unless the goals of this board
are for us students to become

expatriates in Paris,
montpellier, or some Franco

African nation, it's
irresponsible to indoctrinate us

with the French language.
As I stressed in 2014,

Chinese is the language
of the future.

I implore the board to fulfill
its elected civil duty

and do what's in the best
interest of the students

stop teaching French and
begin teaching Chinese!

Let's put it to a vote then.

All those infavor of renewing
our contract with oui!

Say "ay." All those
opposed say "nay."

"Ay", "ay", "ay", "ay", "ay"

if my role is to be
town crier, so be it.

I will inform my fellow citizens
of this deprivation of duty

in an op-ed.

Our next order of business is
the awarding of our future

leaders of Livingston.

This is what happens
when you teach French!

C'est la vie.

Your coming down ten.

C'mon ten.

Good evening, grandpa.

How was the meeting?

As usual, it was an
insult to reason.

You should accompany me sometime
and lecture these amateur

officiants on true
public service.

No thank you.

I couldn't stand the
indigestion I get

from watching those nincompoops

who replace your grandmother

welp, I just lost. You
want to play the winner?

Do wish I had a moment to spare
but I must reside to my room

to draft a fulminating letter
in regards to the board's

continuously sinister
appropriations.

Well find a little time
to do your homework.

Priorities, grandpa.

To all concerned citizens,

of the township of Livingston

the time to be
apathetic has ceased.

Rise up and join me in
fighting the policies

of the board of education.

Rise up.

Good morning.

Morning, sweetie.

How'd you sleep?

I slept fine. And you?

Glad one of us slept.

Oh, did you see the skirt
I brought home from set?

Yeah, I did. Thank you.

The show's stylist says it is
very popular with teenagers.

I thought maybe you'd like
to wear it to school today.

I like it a lot, but I think
I'm gonna stick with jeans.

They're are little bit more
comfortable to study in.

Alright, maybe on the weekend.

Or my next recital or something.

To play it. There's a
thousand actors in New York

who would love to have
'law and order' svu

that's it for your to-do list.
Anything else?

What's the call time tonight?

8:15

he's gotta another
joyful heart fundraiser.

What's next?

No I'm not going to L.A.
we weren't even nominated.

I only do awards shows
I'm going to win.

Morning, Bernard.

I have an op-ed that
cannot be ignored.

I can't guarantee it can
get into the publication.

I implore you to do your best.

Of this town isn't in jeopardy.

Well, I see what I can do.

I may have to cut it
a little for space.

If edits are mandatory, I leave
it to your journalistic wisdom

to harness the true
spirit of the piece.

Thank you Bernard.

I bid you good day.

Bye, bye.

Hello, junior class.

I'd like to remind
everyone that the student

council meets after school
every other Tuesday.

During the first two marking
periods we had pretty low

attendance, so hopefully we can
pick it up for the rest of the

year. And if you have any
suggestions for myself

or any other elected officer

please fill out an
suggestion sheet.

And put it the box
in the library.

Thank you everyone
and good luck today.

Thank you Veronica.

As you all know.

Today you will be receiving
your class ranking

from 1 to 382.

Based on your freshman and
sophomore year g.P.A.'S

as well as your g.P.A. From
the first two marking periods

if your last name begins
with "a" through "g"

please see Mrs. Greenberg at
the front of the auditorium

h through q see me in the back.

And r through z, see Mr.
Purdy up here on stage.

Good luck everybody.

Neil Keller

Anne kimberg

klein

Veronica krauss.

Drew kunin

John larue.

Number 2?

Emma lazareth

you and the ♪1 ranked student
have identical transcripts

except for the fact that
he or she got an a in gym

in the second marking period of
your sophomore year and you got

that marking period I had
tendinitis in my hand

from writing thousands of
thank you letters on behalf

it hindered my ability to
climb the rope in gym.

Furthermore, I was under the
impression that volunteering

for the special Olympics
was extra credit.

Why else would I
have volunteered?

Ope because you like to
help the less fortunate.

The year is not over what if?

What if ♪1 was to get
caught cheating?

Or to die? What if
they were to die?

There is absolutely nothing
we can do to change this.

Principal greely, I not
sure if you're aware this,

72% of white females
accepted to Yale university

graduate ♪1 in their class.

By being ♪2, I have a 72% chance

of not getting into Yale.

I need to ♪1.

It's not up to me.
It's the system.

Well the system sucks.

I suck.

♪ 2 sucks.

♪ Upbeat music plays ♪

Your total is $51.76.

Would you like help out
to your car today, honey?

No.

Paper or plastic?

Neither. I use canvas.

Total is $16.14.

I did the tabulation in my head.

And it concurs with
your register.

Alright, thank you for
shopping at shoprite.

Thank you.

However, I could not help but
notice you did not offer me

is it because I am younger
than and more abled body

than the previous customer?

You're a new shoprite
employee, aren't you?

That's right.

Is this your car?

Yes.

It's a bicycle.

I will give you the
benefit of the doubt

and assume you've
never taken physics

my left handlebar you are
disturbing the equilibrium

of my bicycle.

I will surely veer to the left,
potentially causing harm

to myself or to others

dude, what's your deal?

I was merely trying to give
you a lesson in Newton's law.

Good day.

Next customer please.

Salutations, postal
worker Wesley.

B, man I told you,
just call me Wesley.

May I have my mail please?

I misplaced my key.

Sure. No problem.

Something just came
in today, I think.

Thank you.

Booya! The China
express has arrived.

That's not anything
like the language.

I mean I just guessed.

Next customer please.

What mysteries have you to
say for yourself today,

tai-yu, my peaceful rain?

E-wo, hello, Bernard.
I hope you nice.

I am now, tai-yu. I am now.

What am I supposed to do, mom?

Sweetie, on 'law & order'
we take real stories

from actual headlines, if
that has taught me anything,

taught me that sometimes
laws are wrong

and they are gonna stay
wrong until someone brave

enough comes along
to change them.

If middle east turbulence
continues as most Washington

think-tanks predict,
will save taxpayers

an exuberant amount of money.

Thank you for your input.

So, we'll look into
green bus companies.

Furthermore, I'd like
to propose integrating

a "bikes and books program"

by the school district for
their educational commute.

I thank you for your time.

Any other new business?

Yes. Please come
forward young lady.

Hi, my name is Veronica krauss,
lhs junior class president.

I would like to propose
the immediate abolishment

less than 35% of high
schools in the country

currently use a ranking system.

That's down 22% over
the last decade.

And Livingston is in
the shrinking minority

of schools left in the
nation who rank students.

And I believe

this crime wave is an epidemic.

Efore you continue, Mrs. Krauss,

I should point out that we
debated this topic last year and

the board voted 3 to 2 in
favor of keeping class rank

ard was comprised of the same 5
so I'm afraid it's a lost cause

unless someone has changed their
has anyone changed their minds?

I'm sorry, Ms. Krauss. It looks
like class rank is here to stay.

Is there any other new business?

Need to consider setting
a date this spring

for the board of
education election.

What we need to consider, are
bids on the refinishing of the

e board room door, if Bernard is
gonna keep banging his bicycle

♪ melodic piano music plays ♪

How was your meeting?

Okay with a question Mark?

Okay with a question Mark

honey, what? Signal please.
Ok. Slow down.

I, Bernard. I was at the school
board meeting with you and

and I saw what
happened to your bike.

Do you want a ride home?

I appreciate the offer.

However I must decline as
I've vowed to keep my carbon

footprint to a minimum.

This is a hybrid.

Bernard this is my mom. Mom
this is Bernard flannigan.

The feeling is mutual.
You've raised an excellent

thank you. I'm
very proud of her.

Where do you live, Bernard?

On longacre drive. The street
behind pepperidge farms.

Blinkers before we
merge into traffic.

There you go.

Is it that you're a junior and
already have a driver's license?

That is the type of information
one should reveal before

offering a ride.

Don't worry, I'm a good driver.

Slow down.

I have not missed one since 2007

what? You must have been a child

I started attending board
meetings when I was 8 years old.

My grandmother instilled in me
the importance of education.

My house is up here on the left.

When was the last time
you cut your grass.

Allowing nature to take
its course as a practice

is the world needs to embrace.

A thousand thank
you's for the ride.

Of course.

What an interesting person.
Is he smart?

I'm not sure what he is?

♪ Upbeat music plays ♪

How come I always gotta
ride in the back?

If proper bike lanes existed

I don't have bike lanes,
you gotta have bike lanes.

I'm currently working
on that agenda.

I have brought you a letter
urging all livingstonites

of our Guatemalan cousins'
commuting program.

Well I'll see if can find space
for it on the op-ed page.

Would your grandfather
like something to drink?

Pa would you like a refreshment?

I believe the editor-in-chief
is concerned you may

suffer a stroke.

No thank you ma'am.

No thank you.

What's he reading?

What are you reading?

'Rome before the ruins'

han amera

I love Rome.

Should've seen it
before it was ruined.

Haha.

Are there any more questions
I can assist you with?

No. I don't think so.

Then I bid you a good day.

Good day Bernard.

Bernard door bell.

Bernard

e don't want girl scout cookies.

Um.

Actually, it's a cake.
And it's free.

Free? Why? What's in it?

Ocolate chip swirl with walnuts.

My wife was a wonderful baker.
She used to make a cake

just like that.

She always used butter
cream frosting.

Needs more walnuts.

Got it.

Chi-na new year arr-ive.
Year of the red fire monkey.

Bernard... the baker.
Says she knows you.

Hi. Sorry to just
drop by like this.

Please come in and
remove your footwear.

May I offer you glass
lactose free milk?

I'm ok.

This actually is not
a social visit.

I'm here to propose
an idea to you.

May I take a seat?

I'd like you to run for
the Livingston board

of education.

Both Ms. Parikh and Mr. Del tufo

are running unopposed for
the re-election this may.

And I 'm sure you know
their polcies are well

adrift from center

but you could be
springboard for new ideas.

I mean wouldn't you
like to see change?

I'm not sure if you're aware,
Veronica, but I'm only sixteen

there's no age minimum
to be a board member.

I checked the bylaws.

May I ask why you
don't run yourself?

You're the president of our
class therefore clearly

an adept politician.

The board of education is
a four year commitment

and if I won, I couldn't
go away to college.

I see.

So if I won, I couldn't go
away to college either?

You were planning on
going away to college?

The thought had
crossed my mind, yes.

Of course it had.

What if you... Um
took a year off?

Studies show that students
who take a gap year

between high school and college

do even better when
they return to school

if I was required to
stay in New Jersey,

I could not only pursue
higher education at one

of the garden state's
fine schools but also

continue to look after
my grandfather.

Exactly. Plus you'd make
your grandma proud.

I mean you did say
she instilled in you

the importance of education...
right?

What did the girl want?

She ask me to run for
the board of education.

Haha... and?

And... I'm going
to heed the call

you're sure?

No.

Good. That's the correct answer.

Hello sir. How are you today?

O.k. First order of business.

We need to submit a
petition with over a 200

signatures to city council.

My circle of acquaintances
is slightly under that

threshold.

Well, that's why you
have a campaign manager.

Excuse me, shoprite shopper,
may I ask if you are

of voting age?

Haha... you're sweet.

I thank you for the compliment.

May I trouble you
to sign my petition

to campaign for the Livingston
board of education?

Ah, yeah., of course.

Interested in being informed
of several policies

I plan to champion?

I'm sorry but I can't now.
I've got ice cream in my cart.

E melting of your dairy products

is not more important
than the future

education of your child.

We understand you're very busy

so thank you so much
for your signature.

Have a good day.

No.. We don't.

I was going to give her a
quick ten minute summary

because she didn't seem
interested in our policies.

Well I admit I am a neophyte
in the field of campaigning

but do we really want the
support of the apathetic?

Yes, that is how
elections are won.

Very well then.

Let's proceed.

Excuse me, shoprite shopper,
would you like to be the change

you want to see in the world?

I have no change.

I was quoting Mahatma Gandhi,
not asking for nickels.

What are you guys doing here?

I'm collecting
signatures to campaign

for the board of education.

To the Livingston
educational regime.

It's like the arab spring
right here in Livingston

let me give you my John Doe.

Good luck with the campaign bro.

Thank you.

How often do you come here?

Whenever my grandfather needs
ingredients for a recipe.

He's quite an
accomplished chef but

he detests supermarkets.

Let us continue.

You're running for the
board of education?

I have shoes older than you.

Hey are you sure you
don't want anything?

I'm sure on multiple levels.

To name 4. I don't sh to
begin a caffeine addiction

2. I'm on a very strict budget.

3. I don't see a sign
guaranteeing this premium

coffee has not been
labored at slave wages.

And fourthly, I do
not support the

globalization of
mega conglomerates.

But Starbucks is the only
coffee shop in town.

So what is the focal
point of this meeting?

Okay there's a few things.
Item one, finances.

In order to run a
proper campaign, we're

going to need money.

How much are you willing
to spend on advertising?

I presently survive on
an allowance that is,

ok I guess I can charge the
photocopying and art supplies

you have a credit card?

Ok item two?

Your name?

What's wrong with my name?

It's too formal. From now
on we're gonna call you

and those characters
are very likeable.

Item three: Your appearance.

- Pardon me.
- We need to fix your hair

and you're gonna need to
lose the braces Bernie.

I will do no such thing.
And don't call me Bernie!

Congratulations to the
lhs boys soccer team

who beat Randolph 3-0 last night

thanks to two goals
by Robbie mcloud and

one by David bonder.

To a blazing start this season.

Back to you, zev.

Thanks, Julia.

From junior class president
Veronica krauss.

Good morning, bears. I'd
like to ask you to come

to the cafeteria today and
meet Bernie flannigan,

our fellow bear who is running
for the Livingston board of

education.

Hello fellow students.

Bernie is finished asking

look at barf-nard's haircut.

Gross.

So please come to
the cafeteria today

to meet our future
representative on

- thank you.
- Thank you.

Thanks Veronica.
Um so what's next?

You can get us
some new uniforms?

Actually, I Don t think there
will be room in the budget

for athletic fashion upgrades.

What Bernie means is that it
isn't one of his main campaign

issues. However he'll
definitely look into getting

new uniforms.

Why would you make such a claim
about wasting valuable funds

on modern day barbarianism?

I didn't make any promises
to the football player.

I just said we'd "look into it".

That's what politicians
always say.

Plus, the only issue the
football players reallycare

out are football related issues.

Hey, can we get cigarette
vending machines?

I'll look into it.

I'm holding you to that.

Make sure you tell
your parents to vote.

I hate my parents.

Bernie, do you know
the bollywood crowd?

I m familiar with the
work of sonam kapoor.

I'm talking about the
bollywood kids in our grade.

The ones sitting over
there, staring at us.

Yes, I know them. They're
in my ap chemistry class.

Haha...

You are too funny.

I can't...

That was not meant to be funny.
I was...

Seriously stop, your...

You're too much. Ok let's go.

If you don't mind me asking,
why were you acting

you need to seem more... human.

Alcohol kills brain cells

all I'm saying is that it can't
hurt fto make people think

you can make girls laugh.

Of course I can
make girls laugh.

The cornish hen is
divine grandpa.

How've your grades been
the marking quarter?

Grades are so trivial.

These days I'm focused
on my campaign

question is why are
you doing this?

2 years you'll be
going off to college.

If I m elected, I
promise to attend the

finest university
within a commutable

many of the top universities
in the country are in the

nation are in the
new york/new Jersey

metropolitan area.

Who's gonna vote for you?

According to my campaign
manager as many people

as I can get.

We had differing
opinions on this matter

but I bowed to her wisdom.

Does she have a ph.D.
In political science?

Did she teach at one
of New Jersey's finest

institutions of higher learning?

Did she work as consultant
for Michael dukakis in 1988?

No, but she has a credit card.

Haha... right.

That's what politics are today...
money.

I hope I have not
hurt your feelings.

I can get over it
if you play shuffle

board with me tomorrow.

Have a nice day.

Hey, you think like six of my
friends and I can share a room

unfortunately not. We signed
a contract with the lodge

to abide by all their
rules and regulations.

- That blows.
- Yeah

make sure you sign the waiver
form on the back page.

Dynastar speed cross.

The vertical sidewalls on
those give the skis excellent

edge grip and balance.
However, for an all-mountain

ski I find the
bindings to be sub-par

compared to the
atomic blackeye ti.

The atomics are pretty dope.
Catch you later, Bernie.

- You ski?
- Of course.

I was an east coast junior
olympian in kindergarten.

My parents coached
the team until

they were killed
by an avalanche.

Your parents were
killed by an avalanche?

Yes, unfortunately
avalanche balloons

weren't commonplace in 2006.

Do you ski?

Um. No, but my dad's
been saying for years

that he's gonna
take me to Tahoe.

There's plenty of
great mountains

yeah, but he lives
in California.

Veronica, if you don't
ski, why are you

I organize activities all the
time that I have no interest in.

Yeah. They have by far
the most renowned

history program in the country.

I didn't realize you
were a history buff.

When applying to law school.

No. I want to be a
supreme court justice.

Is the most influential
branch of our democracy.

Current supreme court bench
graduated from either

Harvard or Yale?

Towards the supreme court.

She did but she actually
started law school

at Harvard and then
transferred to Columbia.

The Harvard law review and
the Columbia law review.

However, a word of
advice for when you are

on the supreme court.

Never accept a coke
from Clarence Thomas.

Haha... you're gross, Bernie.

Do you think barf-nard
and virgin-ica are

actually dating?

I just ate lunch.

Good afternoon Bernard.

Not unlike Martin
Luther's 95 theses

this is very heavy.

I estimate it will take up
roughly 6 pages of newsprint.

I only have 10 pages
of newsprint.

In your hand you
possess my official

declaration of candidacy
the Livingston

board of education.

What does your grandfather
feel about your candidacy?

Well, local politics
is not his forte.

He much prefers shuffleboard.

I'd like to try
shuffleboard someday.

Salutations, post worker Wesley.

First class international
mail please.

Here's my customs form.

Alright.

B, we go through this
every time, man.

You should use a padded
envelope to protect your tape.

Out of principle I
refuse to pay extra

money for air wrapped in
non recyclable plastic.

Okay, but I can hook you
up with some bubble wrap.

Something your special lady
will enjoy just popping.

Let me get you another one.

Yeah. There you go.

I'm really glad you're not
just emailing your lady.

There's something special
about receiving that letter

it's like the first time
you see a baby deer born.

He shoots right out of his mom
and all that little stuff

falls out and gets
messy everywhere.

Can't buy that feeling.

And email just doesn't cut it.

Agreed.

Yeah, you shouldn't
cause they're watching.

They're watching right now.

Put the fluff down Bernard.

Start stretching.

Jehovahs

actually, I believe that
maybe guest iinvited over.

We have a game bud.

Hello, Bernard.

I hope I'm not to early.

Please come in.

Thank you.

Grandpa, this is the
editor-in-chief of

editor-in-chief, this is
my grandfather, oswald.

Madam

very pleased to me you.

What's in the bag?

Ice cream

you churn it yourself?

No, my friends Ben & Jerry.

What kind of ice cream?

Chocolate chip cookie dough.

That's my grandfather's
third favorite kind.

Fourth.

- They should be.
- They should be.

Shall I put it in the freezer?

Yes please, right through here.

Thanks.

What's going on?

Every woman comes here,
wants to bring us sweets.

It is the year of the monkey.

It appears my grandson
brought hustler to our yard

you must be on the
shuffleboard circuit.

I swear this is my first time.

So you re a natural?

In some ways.

I was gonna take it easy on you.

What a sap.

Hello.

- Your grandchild.
- Does Bernard play?

Huh?

Does Bernard play?

I would say barely
to that question

he's usually to busy with
his extracurriculars.

I'm finished.

Wow. I had no idea that
you were an artist.

Hardly.

Painting is merely my preferred
mandatory school elective.

Which is yours?

I like orchestra. I
play the violin.

Just like former supreme
court justice Abe fortas.

Yeah.

So, what is our next
campaign maneuver?

Okay we need to get the posters
around town and get your name

out there.

I would venture to guess...
the mall.

Shoprite.

Drugstore.

Post office.

And the hospital.

I don't want people to
associate Bernie flannigan

with emergency rooms.

That seems prudent.

Bernard. Jehovas.

You know, your yard
could use some t-l-c.

Ma'am

tender loving care.

Hey, who's that?

That's tai-yu. My
Aurora borealis.

Yes, I am in a committed,
long distance,

loving, monogamous relationship.

Oh. How'd you guys meet?

We have been pen-pals
since the fourth grade.

It was a social
studies assignment.

Yeah, in Mr. Dubrow's class?

Exactly. Your pen-pal
was from Finland.

I believe her name was evilina.

- Avalina.
- Avalina.

You were in that class?

I sat directly behind you.

Your side ponytail was
a constant hindrance

to seeing the black board.

You remember my side ponytail?

Cool.

Hey honey.

Did you two have fun?

Yeah, I think so.

It was kinda hard to
tell with Bernie.

Mom, what do you think about
long distance relationships?

Let me put it like this

everyone I know who's
moved from New York to la

for their career, has wound
up ending it with their

significant other.

So they usually never
ever work out?

Didn't for me and your dad.

Whoa, I like this portrait.

It's like singer sargent
meets Edward hopper.

You're familiar with
the 20th century

American realism movement?

C'mon sweetie.

Bye you guys.

Bye.

How was your day?

Dude your girlfriend
is pretty chill.

She's actually my
campaign manager.

My girlfriend lives in China.

China? Out of site,
out of mind, bro.

Condoms on aisle six, if
you know what I mean.

Bernie, bro, you were
so right about the

dynastar bindings.

I hope you heal quickly.

Thanks, man. I'm definitely
taking your advice next year.

Ne is two dollars. Two are three dollars.
Three are four dollars.

The more you buy,
the more you save.

I ll take two.

There you go.

Thank you.

By the way, Bernie, I
told my parents to

vote for you bro.

Thank you.

You got it.

Would you like to
buy a candy gram?

Unfortunately I dont
have two dollars to

spare today.

Well, this one is on me.

Feel free to give it
to whoever you want.

This Friday night the drama
club is putting on a musical

adaptation of Stanley kubrick's

seminal filmull metal jacket

tickets are five
dollars at the door

and I hope to see
you guys all there.

Thanks.

Thank you, Jared.

Emily your up next.

Mr. Ruble cellphones away
please you know better

hey, I heard you're having
a party after the play.

It's sort of just for
the cast of the show

but I guess anyone can come.

Great.

Can I come?

Sure.

You look cute.

Bye mom.

Have fun.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Organizing a town hall
meeting was a great idea.

Thank you.

You can take your
helmet off now.

Welcome to 'nam.

Thanks. I brought pretzels.

Whoa! What's up? So
youguys want some Merlot?

But alas, I shall pass
as I rode my bike here

as a politician, cannot
risk getting a bui.

Right. You want some, Veronica?

Oh no I can't.

I made all student council
members sign a sobriety pact.

- So.
- Alright, well you 2 have fun?

- We will thanks.
- Whoa!

This isn't a town
hall meeting, is it?

Technically it's a party.

So that's why you're
looking so stylish?

Well yeah, I just
thought it could be

a good chance to get
your face out there.

I understand. So,
who should I put my

face in front of first?

So my plan would be to close the
auxiliary gym and convert it

into a meditation garden
slash greenhouse.

Whoah, that sounds awesome.

I believe it could be a
great escape between

class periods. A place for
students to perform tai chi

and have a safe haven
for inner reflection.

And we could grow
some stuff in there.

Exactly, yes.

I'm totally gonna tell my
old manto vote for you.

Thanks bro.

Good luck, bro.

Are you in high school?

I used to be.

It just occured to me that
is our first Friday night

out together.

It's almost like a date.

Yes.

Yes, I guess it almost is.

Is it getting a little
hot in here to you?

The warmth is probably
do to the clear

in this clearly
over capacity room.

Maybe we should get
some fresh air.

Actually, if you'll excuse me,
I need to use the facilities.

Dorie... dorie.

It's Veronica.

- Veronica.
- Yeah.

Did you bring Bernie here?

Ah... yeah.

Is he like your boyfriend?

Not like offically or anything.

Is it true that
he was test baby.

I heard he was a narc.

The f.B.I.'S website
or something

you guys are student
council reps.

You're not supposed
to be drinking.

Chill out, Veronica. We're
just having some fun.

Maybe you're the narc.

Did you check out
her chopsticks?

♪ Acoustic music plays ♪

What the hell is going here?

Busted.

Where's my son?

I'm here mom.

What in god's name
are you wearing?

It's from a play that I was in.

Jesus Christ. I thought
we talked about his whole

theater thing.

Sorry.

Excuse me, are you
the home owners?

Perfect.

May I suggest you place a lastic
bag weighted with pebbles

into your toilet tank.
Displacing water in this manner

allows you to save 5
to 10 gallons a day.

It's good for the environment
and fiscally responsible.

Who the hell are you?

My name's Bernard flannigan.

I'm running for the
board of education.

There's no need to
worry I sanitzed.

Bye Veronica. Bye Bernie.

I believe that went
moderately well.

Is it true you once hacked
into the FBI's website?

Of course not.

It was the epa.

♪ Romantic music plays ♪

Alright break it up kids.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Mom, what's the best way
for me to make a friend

into more than a friend.

Well, do you remember
when haden got together

with Benson?

Yes.

Of course.

Of course haden thought Benson
was beautiful and charming,

but he also found her
to be mysterious.

She hadn't had a serious love
interest for 13 seasons.

Don't aske me why.

Anyway, haden knew that it
would take a lot of work to

get Benson to see him
in a romantic light

he's willing to put
in that effort

even if it meant
stretching the boundaries

of their working relationship.

Like when he met her
at her favorite

donut shop and wooed her
on her own home turf.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

What are you doing?

Cutting your grass.

I can see that! But why?

Because it'll help you fit
into the community better.

It s another part of your
political self-transformation,

you know, like
changing your name

or restyling your hair.

I appreciate the thought but
annihilating an ecosystem

for political appearances
is not my modus operandi.

Relax, look at the yard.

Needs a little tlc.
That's what she's doing.

Tlc?

Yeah.

Bernard think of it
as a controlled burn.

You know what
controlled burn is?

- Yes.
- Okay.

It's when you put
fire to the forest

yes okay so.

Oh by the way. I found
this in your grass.

Thank you.

Of course.

Thank you ma'am.

Oh boy.

That's enough of that.

Why is it that we're
always meeting at

this franchise I so disdain?

Cause you need to show
the community that

you're one of them,

very well. Let's proceed.

So, what is our first order
of business for today?

Who do you think is the
prettiest girl in our class?

I don't see how that
relates to the campaign.

The meeting hasn't started yet.

So who's the prettiest?

Beauty in itself is such
an abstract concept.

Well, you clearly
like asians, right?

One could say I am a
connoisseur of more

ethnic women. Yes.

However, my palette isn't
always preferential

to the Asian continent.

Well what about me?

Do you think I'm pretty?

Yes, Veronica.

I think you have a
beautiful mind and

a beautiful body.

So can we get back
to the campaign now

yes of course.

Item one. Winning the support
of the Livingston weekly.

The paper will be
endorsing two candidates.

It is imperative they back you.

I believe I may have
inadvertently started

good. Now take it up a notch.

Grandpa, what is on your
schedule this fine Saturday.

Saturday?

Breakfast, lunch, maybe a
nap, shuffleboard and dinner.

Could you squeeze a
voyage to the cinema

somewhere into your
hectic itinerary?

Can you promise me
it won't be 3-d?

I hope you don't think
that low of me.

I go to the cinema
for the stories.

If I wanted to feel as if a
bird or a ball were flying at

my face I'd simply
go to the park.

Save myself 16 dollars.

I'm in.

Wonderful.

Would you mind if
invited a friend.

Oh boy.

♪ Dramatic music plays ♪

If you excuse me, I have a
sudden craving for smarties.

Have you ever been to Paris?

My wife and I always
talked about it.

We never found the time.

My husband took me for our
twenty-fifth anniversary.

Is it really the most
romantic city in the world?

Well, I haven't been
everywhere so I couldn't say.

If you could do the writing?

Where do you see
yourself going next?

I've heard Lithuania a
is lovely in the spring.

Lithuania wow.

A long walk from
her to Lithuania.

Oswald

would like you to come
to dinner on Monday?

Mondays not good for Bernard.

I thought maybe it
could just be the two

of us. I think we're old
enough not to need a

chaperone.

Did I miss anything?

Why are we doing this?

It's months away from
anyone's birthday.

You shouldn't need a special
occasion to see people

that you love.

Hello grandmother.

Hello mother. Hello father.

Hi ya'll.

I brought you some
sunflowers today.

And to borrow from the
Jewish tradition,

I have brought rocks to
place on your graves

to signify my enduring
love and memory of you.

I come bearing
some exciting news

I'm now an official
candidate for the livinston

board of education.

You know what he also has?

He also has a girl.

Who comes by the house.

And they go to his bedroom.

Her name is Veronica krauss.

She's my campaign manager.

Grandpa also has new friend.

I got a new pair
of shoes last...

Ah... what was it?

98 when you bought me
that pair of shoes

well, these are new. They
don't fit as good as your's

darling but they're.

I like them.

♪ Melodic piano music plays ♪

Why didn't you tell everybody
about the editor-in-chief?

There's nothing to tell.

Everything is on pace

perfect Veronica.
My only question is

who's gonna be your luck date?

I'd like to thank principal
greely for allowing us to hold

this pep rally today.

For the first time in
my three years at lhs

we're gathered here not to
cheer on a sport or an athlete

but rather to show our
support for a selfless

member of our student body.

Please put your hands
together for the next member

member of the Livingston
board of education.

Bernie flannigan.

Thank you, Livingston
high school.

Next month I will be
representing us, the students,

in the board of
education elections.

I ask that all of you
who can, not only vote

but also encourage your
parents or guardians

to do the same.

Next week I will be engaging
in a political debate with

the other candidates at
the spring pta meeting.

I hope that you come
and show your support.

If your parents see your
fervor for your education

we can only hope it
will inspire them

to cast a ballot for change.

Since I declared my candidacy,
I have heard from so many

your ideas and concerns
resonate with me.

For example, there is David
shankles, a freshman,

who would like for all
students to have iPads

or kindles or some
form of a pdf reader.

David is tired of
carrying around his books

as I'm sure most of you are.

This is 2016 and we have
an opportunity to save

our backs but also
thousands of trees.

Then there's Sally
stephenson, a sophomore.

Who ask me to look
into more field trips.

Livingston is throwing
distance from New York City.

And some of the best
museums in the world.

Yet how many of you
have ever been to

the natural history museum?

Please, raise your
hand if you have.

Please lower your hands if
you went with your family.

As I suspected.

I, for one, think the
township should be ashamed.

Finally, there's Russel
wachtler, a senior,

who suggested to me that
in the nurse's office

there should be a
basket of free condoms.

Students are mature enough
to vote and to fight in wars

so surely they should be mature
enough to have protected sex.

Am I right?

So please go home and
tell your parents

to vote for me Bernie
flannigan to be your

to be your voice on the
Livingston board of education.

Shall we begin the debate prep?

Yes. What's your opinion
on school vouchers?

I think they're a good thing
in a free market economy.

Public education could use
the competition especially

in lower-income areas.

Name three things you would
cut from the school budget.

French. All processed
food from the cafeteria.

The gifted and talented
program in elementary school.

You would cut gifted
and talented?

Yeah I was in gifted
and talented.

However, I'm confident telling
90% of elementary school

children that they do
not qualify for g&t

is not a very good thing
for childhood development.

That's great. Can we
stop for one secdond?

One second. I gotta
catch my breath.

Why did we have to
prep while jogging?

Studies show that the brain
is at its sharpest while

are you ready for some sit-ups?

Are you serious?

Can I tell you something?

Of course.

I got an a-in gym last year.

- There's nothing
wrong with an a-

yes there is

that a-screwed up my gpa.
Because of it I'm

♪ 2 in our class.

It's okay to not to be ♪1.

Not if you want to go to Yale.

Ok.

Oh no.

You owe 4 sets of 20.

PDA, anyone?

They need to get a room.

When is your turn?

After your 4 sets of 20.

Hello, you've reached the
flannigans be brief.

Hello oswald. It's Barbara.

I was wondering if you'd like
to come over later for dinner.

Also next week there's a
lecture at the library

on Russian oligarchs. I thought
you might be interested.

I thought you might
be interested.

In any case give it.
Give me a call.

One way or the other.

Well okay bye.

What's your stance
on teacher tenure?

However I also think
they should be judged on

their annual performance. Just
like ever other profession.

I love that dress.

It's quite lovely.

Hypothetically speaking,
if you were to take anyone

to junior prom, who
would you take?

Of course I would take tai-yu.

Right.

I meant someone local.

Well, hypothetically speaking

if I didn't have a girlfriend
who lives ten thousand miles

away, I would probably take...
You.

And who would you
take to the prom?

Hypothetically speaking.

I guess I would take you too.

We should probably get going.

I have a number of errands
to run before the debate.

Yeah. No me too.

You shouldn't smoke
marijuana, Mike.

Next.

Hi, Wesley. I have
some letters to mail.

What are all these?

Just some campaign
literature about Bernie.

I'm sending fliers to every
registered independent

oh man, Bernie is lucky
to have you on his side.

Oh yeah. That reminds me. Here.

He gave me his key and
a signed authorization

he's been super busy lately.
Is that okay?

This checks out. Let
me go grab it for you.

I'll be right back.

Great thank you.

Hey evelyne, you want lunch?

Catfish, tuna fish...
All kinds of fish.

Alright here we go.

Thank you so much.

Good luck. Have a good one.

See you.

♪ Upbeat music plays ♪

E-wo, hello ber-yard.
I ope you nice.

Tis is har to say but I tink
we ould see otter pee-pow.

Be far away har. Very har.
An now you no

stu-dy a-broa-d.

Our love drift like LAN-tern

- at the moon fes-ti-val.
- She's breaking up with him.

LAN-tern fly in air
like big fire-fly.

Very Beau-ti-ful. Then
dis-a-ppear and burn.

Good evening. We could all
take our seats please

and settle in. Thank
you very much.

First off, I want to welcome
everyone here tonight.

As well as the viewers
at home who are watching

on public access.

Tonight's format
will be very simple.

If you have a question
for a candidates,

raise your hand and
I'll call on you.

Who wants to lead us off tonight
with the first question?

Yes, in the back.

Yes, Ms. Parikh, I would
like to know what would

your major goals be if
you are re-elected?

My major goal would be to
ensure that every school

in the district meets the
blue ribbon of excellence

standard. If we can
accomplish this feat

it means we will have done a
lot of little things right.

That is in accordance with
Lincoln-Douglas style debate.

- Greely what is this?
- Wait a second.

This not a debate.

Marshal is sick. I gonna have
to rearrange the whole schedule

honey I'm so sorry.

We'll have everyone have
a chance for a rebuttal

as long as you keep it to
one minute, understood.

Yes, thank you.

One minute.

In that time frame, only
one new school within our

the current board of education
has been in place for five years

and in that time only one new
school within our district

is qualified for the blue
ribbon of excellence

however governmental awards are
not what we should be striving

for. Our only concern
should be in improvement.

Livingston's scholastic test
scores though above the national

average have plateaued for
three years straight.

And it's good to be good, but
it is better to be the best.

Wow, father can I run for
the board of educaiton.

The choice is clear, Livingston.

You can stick with the
old regime and continue

with the oppression of our
student or you can rise up

let the board of education know
that this town needs new ideas.

Out with the old,
in with the new.

Very inspiring

haha.

Bernard you were great in there.

I hope it was enough to gain the
Livingston weekly's endorsement.

Well there are a lot of
factors to figure in

so we'll see but regardless
I am so impressed on how

hard you've worked
on this campaign.

How's your grandfather?

I haven't heard from
him in a few weeks.

Well he's been quite busy

reading Robert caro's tetralogy
on president Johnson.

Oh I see.

I see how that might
take up a lot of time.

You were amazing.

The clear cut winner.

Do you mind if I steal Bernie a minute?
I just need to talk

to him in private.

No not all, go ahead.

Thank you. Come on.

I need you to listen
to something.

E-wo, hello, ber-yard.
I ope you nice.

Tis is har to say but I tink
we ould see otter pee-pow.

I'm so sorry.

Where did you get that tape?

You opened my mail?

Just that letter.

That is a federal
offense, Veronica.

Twenty five thousand
dollars and be faced with

- done that. I couldn't.
- Never become a supreme

no, do not call me Bernie.
My name is Bernard.

Don't you know what this means?

It means you're even more
self-centered than I originally

thought.

No, no it means that
we can be together.

Be together? I could never be with you.
The only person you

care about is yourself.
Everything you do is about you.

Only because you think it'll help you.
You organize

fund-raisers and ski trip
snot because you care whether

or not other people want
them but because it'll look

and let's be honest,
the only reason

that you even befriended
me in the first place

is because you wanted me
to get rid of glass rank

so that Yale wouldn't know
you weren't number one.

Want to know how I know that

you only care about yourself?

You never even asked
me what I was ranked.

So let me tell you.

I'm number one.

You're number one?

Why didn't you say anything?

I was trying to help you.

No, no you are a hypocrite.

You are just as selfish as me.

Everything you do is about you.

You only want the
school to teach Chinese

so you can talk to
your girlfriend.

The only reason you only
want bike lanes in town

because you are the only
one ride a stupid bicycle.

You didn't try helping me.
You used me,

just like I used you.

You betrayed me.

I know I shouldn't have
opened that letter

but at least I was honest
with you about it.

I couldn't have pretended
like I had no idea

which is exactly
what you did to me.

So fuck you.

Dammit!

♪ Melancholy music plays ♪

Hey Bernie my older sisters
having a party this weekend

it'll be a great opportunity
to meet some new voters

thank you but I'm no longer
actively campaigning.

So sad.

Your lost.

I think barf-nard
dumped virgin-ica.

No, I think virgin-ica
dumped barf-nard.

Hey, very nice shot.

How did you know that
you loved grandma?

About a thousand different ways.

First of all she was
my best friend.

Secondly we met when
we're about 12.

Didn't start dating
until we were 17

and we were inseparable.

She not only completed
me but she pushed me

in ways that I would
never ever push myself.

I was just like a motionless
disc and she was my cue.

I feel like a motionless
disc these days.

You know I have a phd
in political science

but despite that I think
that I might I know a thing

or two about love.

When you find somebody
who makes you feel

that you want be a 10.
Hang on to her.

Put your arms around her
keep her next to you

for as long as you live.
Cherish her.

It's as simple as that and you know what?
You'll know.

The minute it happens
to you and she'll know

unless she's a jerk.

Now everybody looks good
in a little black dress.

I like it a lot but I
don't know if I love it.

Well forget it then I only want
you to wear a dress you love.

Come on let's keep looking.

I think it will look
perfect on you.

That's your mother

did you have to say that?

Oh that is stunning.

That would be perfect on you.

Mom I messed up.

Sweetie, no, everybody messes up

no not you.

Are you kidding?

Baby I mess up all the time.

- You do?
- Yes.

Yes

okay

I'm gonna tell you a story
I've never told you.

Back in high was in love with
a boy named Kevin Cooper

oh, he was handsome,
kind talented

he had the lead in the
high school musical

every year and he
was the captain

of the cross country team

all I wanted was for him
to be my boyfriend.

So for the next 3 years I
began to flirt with him.

Yet, he only looked
at me as a friend.

So my senior year

I decided the best way
to get Kevin to see me

in a romantic light was to
flirt with his best friend

now I know it was wrong to
use Craig to get to Kevin.

I didn't care. I
really liked Kevin.

One night at a party, our
flirting went a little to far

and we ended up making out

did Kevin like you after that?

No, what he hated me.

Turns out he was gay
as a French horn and

Craig was his boyfriend.

Craig broke up with him
because he cheated with me.

My point is I hated
myself for what I did.

Not only did I not
Kevin as my boyfriend.

I lost him as my friend.

Did you guys make up after that?

Yeah, we did. Summer
after graduation.

What did you do?

Said I was sorry.

♪ Music plays ♪

Hey man.

Salutations.

Saw you on t.V. You rocked it.

Thank you.

Hey are you feeling alright?

Your observational
skills are acute.

You want to talk about it?

Like psychotherapy?

I was thinking
more like friends.

Attention shoppers,
planning a special event?

We'll be sure to visit
our catering department.

These are all originals?

Yeah, it's a little
bit of everything.

Check this out.

You've captured my essence.

Where did you learn
to paint like this?

Yale.

You went to Yale?

Summa cum laude, bro.

♪ Music plays ♪

I need a favor.

Why are you wearing oven mitts?

Cause the quiche is still hot.
Will you buy that?

Come on in.

That was a lot more fun
than shuffleboard.

Yes it was. Yes it was.

♪ Music plays ♪

And a good morning to you sir.

Did you mix up your
medications, grandpa?

You have a glow to
you this morning.

Haha... I'm thrilled
to be alive.

What's the matter?

The editor-in-chief has
assassinated my political

aspirations.

Let me see this.

There has never been a candidate
like Bernard k. Flannigan.

Hhe would be an
influential member

although we cannot in
good conscious endorse

we have no doubt we will
be hearing his name

for years to come.
In fact, we think

it would do Bernard
a great disservice

to shackle him with a four
year board of education

commitment instead of allowing
him to spread his wings

at an out-of-state university.
Now what the hell is the matter

with that?

Political science 401 class.

Okay, so you're out you lose.
That's it.

Go ahead and quit. Walk away.

Quit.

Been granted permission by the
principal to miss classes today.

Would you like to accompany
me as I campaign?

♪ Upbeate music plays ♪

I'll be right back.

What am I supposed to do, huh?

Big day, b.

Indeed it is. Did I
receive any mail?

- No.
- Okay.

In 1948. But alas he beat Dewey

despite a three-way
split in his own party.

Got my fingers
crossed for you, b.

Excuse me ma'am. Hi, I'm
zev August from lhs live!

To get some insight
into today's election.

Would you mind sharing
with us who you voted for?

Um, I voted for the two adults.

You heard it here first. The
exit polls are trending

towards the incumbents.
However, the polls will be open

for another five hours so
there's still a chance

for Bernie flannigan, the
hope of the high school.

Veronica I have consulted
various medical journals

and have discovered
that it is physically

impossible to choke to death
from swallowing your own

pride so with that let me say.

Is everything ok, sweetie?

Yeah, everything is good.

I need your opinion though.

Okay.

What top with this skirt?

Good evening, good
evening everyone.

I remember standing next to
Michael dukakis in 1988.

The anticipation
felt just like this.

As the mayor, it is my
duty and my honor to read

the election results.

With six thousand, four hundred
and fifty eight votes,

the first open seat on the
Livingston school board goes to.

Mr. Ernest del tufo.

Thank you so much.

Congratulations. So welcome sir.

And we have one more coming.

With six thousand and seventy
one votes, the second

open seat on the Livingston
school board goes to

thank goodness. Ms.
Bindu parikh.

The people have spoken.

I know it hurts. It's
a bump in the road.

Abraham Lincoln lost just
about every election

he was ever in until
he ran for president.

I'm well aware of the legendary
losers who have once been

but that's not the point.

The point is those
were great men.

They went out into the world
and learned how to better

themselves. One day when the
opportunity came they simply

changed the world. So
there is no excuse now

for you not to go and get
in the finest university

you can find. And then one day

when your time comes

you sir, will change the world.

Thank you.

Bernard, I'm sorry
you didn't win

but there will always
be a next time.

Yes. Yes, you are
absolutely right

I will live by Beckett's words: Ever tried.
Ever failed.

No matter. Try again. Fail again.
Fail better.

You are a remarkable young man.

Thank you.

Now, would you mind giving
my grandfather a ride

I'd like to take a solo
ride to clear my head.

It would be my pleasure.

Hold your head up high.

Thank you for not endorsing him.

You have nothing to thank me
for, you wrote the op-ed.

Now he's got no excuse to stay
at home after high school.

And you've got no excuse to
stay home and not go traveling

you sneaky little person.

You want me to go to Lithuania?

Oh god. I can't even spell it.

Hi Bernard.

Hi.

I'm sorry that you lost.

It's ok. We gave it
our best effort.

And I'm sorry I read your mail.

And for everything I said.
You didn't deserve that.

No, you were right.

If you didn't knock
on my door that day

I'd still be living
in a fantasy world.

You made me a much
happier person.

That's why I'm going to do this.

♪ Music plays ♪

Honestly, I thought
she was a lesbian.

I wish that were me.

Do you think maybe you
could give me a ride home?

Yes... haha.

Excuse me Mr. Bernard.

Yes, young citizen.

Can I get your autograph?

He's a big fan. He wants to run
for the board of education

next year.

Thank you.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Shall we go?

Do you want the first
seat or the second?

Second is great.

- You're ready?
- Ready.

Veronica will you go
to the prom with me?

Definitely. I have
the perfect dress.

♪ Music plays ♪