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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,270 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:11,890 VERA: Annie, sweetie, 3 00:00:11,899 --> 00:00:14,319 are you sure you're not gonna join us at the pool? 4 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,400 I don't feel like swimming. 5 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,620 VERA: I'd like you to make the most of this vacation. 6 00:00:18,621 --> 00:00:20,160 You know, your dad's already down there 7 00:00:20,165 --> 00:00:22,355 and he said he'd go diving for pennies with you! 8 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,049 - Can't I just read? - [VERA SIGHS] 9 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:28,180 OK, but if you change your mind, come on down. 10 00:00:28,181 --> 00:00:29,349 OK. 11 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,519 - GIRL: Come on! - GIRL 2: Hurry up! 12 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,030 [LAUGHING] 13 00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:39,860 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 14 00:00:51,682 --> 00:00:53,304 [MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING] 15 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,180 _ 16 00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:13,919 ANNIE: Aw, look at you. 17 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,150 I guess Lamar inspired you to cook? 18 00:01:16,152 --> 00:01:17,730 Yeah, I guess he did. 19 00:01:17,739 --> 00:01:20,205 Does that mean you're gonna fuck me as well? 20 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,370 Oh, God. 21 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:27,545 Fran. I'm... I'm sorry. 22 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,590 - Are you mad? - Why would I be mad? 23 00:01:29,596 --> 00:01:32,008 We're one step closer to being sisters. 24 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:35,850 - Ohh. Oh, God! - [BOTH LAUGH] 25 00:01:35,858 --> 00:01:38,070 OK. I... 26 00:01:38,071 --> 00:01:40,569 I hope you know that, like, Lamar and I talked, 27 00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:42,160 and I was gonna tell you. 28 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:45,209 Well, he already told me. He has a very big mouth. 29 00:01:45,210 --> 00:01:47,380 I mean, you knew that already, because... 30 00:01:47,381 --> 00:01:49,651 - you just took his virginity. - Fran. 31 00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:52,320 - No. - FRAN: Ohh! 32 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:55,770 [LAUGHS] I forgot that you believed in Santa until you were 16. 33 00:01:55,773 --> 00:01:59,150 - My God! Ugh, what? - FRAN: Gullible baby possum. 34 00:01:59,155 --> 00:02:03,830 - So how'd you feel about last night? - ANNIE: I mean... 35 00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:05,249 pretty fuckin' good. 36 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,669 Whoa! 37 00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:09,754 No. What are you doing? That's my brother. 38 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,923 - Oh. I know. - FRAN: That's inappropriate. 39 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,508 OK, wow, no. 40 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:16,310 Tell me how you feel in terms of your emotions, and nothing more. 41 00:02:16,314 --> 00:02:19,319 Well, if I'm being totally honest, 42 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,650 I mean, I don't know, 43 00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:23,851 Ryan was just with someone else, 44 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:27,669 but I just told him how fucked up that was, 45 00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:29,710 and then I went and did the exact same thing. 46 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:32,652 Like, I just, I don't know, I feel kind of... 47 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,300 Please don't say guilty. 48 00:02:34,308 --> 00:02:36,470 - I do. I feel guilty. - FRAN: Great. 49 00:02:36,479 --> 00:02:38,270 OK, nope. Nope. 50 00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:41,029 I would like to propose and instill 51 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:44,160 a strict "No Ryan" rule in this house, thank you. 52 00:02:44,161 --> 00:02:47,660 - Wha... what's that? - FRAN: It means never say his name, 53 00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:49,669 never bring him into our home. 54 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,970 He is an ignorant bag of expired meat, 55 00:02:52,971 --> 00:02:55,349 and I've told you and told you, and you're not listening, 56 00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:57,885 and I'm getting tired of it, so I have to be strict with you. 57 00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,650 OK, but I've been wanting to be Mrs. Expired Meat for a while. 58 00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:04,080 - Oh, my God, can I have that? - FRAN: No. 59 00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:08,105 No. 60 00:03:09,169 --> 00:03:10,773 GABE: All right, it's official, 61 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,970 we're doing the "Thousand and One Summer Stories" issue again, 62 00:03:13,971 --> 00:03:17,280 so please, let's be diligent about the overlap? 63 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,390 We don't need three stories about vaginal waxing. 64 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:22,069 - Plus, bush is back. - I agree. 65 00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:25,320 Also, HR has a new insurance policy, 66 00:03:25,327 --> 00:03:28,370 which means we have a preventative health discount program, 67 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,539 which means I save a buttload of money if you can manage 68 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:35,540 to pry your cheese-thighs off the couch more than once a week. 69 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:36,800 Okay, didn't you write about this 70 00:03:36,808 --> 00:03:39,060 - for your obesity epidemic article? - GABE: I did write about that. 71 00:03:39,063 --> 00:03:40,887 - Thank you for giving a fuck. - ANDY: I loved that story, Gabe, 72 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,020 - it changed me. - Andy, fuck off. 73 00:03:43,029 --> 00:03:46,142 OK, look, we're gonna be getting rid of the vending machines... 74 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,780 - What? - ... and we're gonna do 75 00:03:47,789 --> 00:03:51,250 one heart-healthy "grouptivity" once a month, 76 00:03:51,253 --> 00:03:54,300 - starting this week. - Oh, cool. Forced fun. 77 00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,589 That's right, forced fun. I like that. Forced fun. 78 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:57,739 We're gonna call it Forced Fun, 79 00:03:57,740 --> 00:04:00,980 and our first Forced Fun activity is this Saturday. 80 00:04:00,981 --> 00:04:04,320 It's gonna be a ten-mile bike ride around Sauvie Island. How's that? 81 00:04:04,321 --> 00:04:06,659 Actually, I just got my youngest a bike, so that'll be fun. 82 00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:09,410 Oh, no, no youngest, no kids. Kids are the opposite of fun. 83 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,080 Kids are like mice on a glue trap, 84 00:04:12,087 --> 00:04:14,921 squealing and shitting until you drown them. 85 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,479 All right, I've got a call in five. 86 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,659 That means you're gonna email me your pitches. 87 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,850 - That'll be all. - Oh, actually, Gabe, 88 00:04:20,855 --> 00:04:22,350 if I could just give you a quick pitch... 89 00:04:22,357 --> 00:04:24,690 Didn't I literally just say email the pitches? 90 00:04:24,696 --> 00:04:26,610 - Yes. Yes. - But you're gonna give me a pitch. 91 00:04:26,616 --> 00:04:28,086 Well, I heard about this pool party, 92 00:04:28,087 --> 00:04:29,370 and it's all about inclusivity... 93 00:04:29,371 --> 00:04:31,869 - I hate that word. - ... and celebrating larger bodies, 94 00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:33,239 and they sent it to the calendar, 95 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,330 but I think it could be a cool story. 96 00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,679 Bodies in a pool. That's not a story, Annie. 97 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,600 OK, but it actually is about a lot more than that. 98 00:04:40,603 --> 00:04:42,889 It's about people feeling comfortable in their own skin. 99 00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:44,399 The last thing we need is everybody feeling 100 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,570 comfortable in their own skin. 101 00:04:45,571 --> 00:04:46,661 That would be the '70s. 102 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,490 My gut instinct is that it's not a good fit. 103 00:04:49,495 --> 00:04:52,370 Great fit for the calendar. Go crazy with that. 104 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,210 OK, and you should definitely trust your gut, 105 00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:57,880 but I also think that my last article is proof... 106 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,299 - [HANGS UP PHONE] - ... that my instincts might be good, too. 107 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,729 - Right? - Annie, we gotta pace ourselves. 108 00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:05,440 Remember Gutenberg's second idea after the printing press? 109 00:05:05,443 --> 00:05:07,279 - No. - Exactly. 110 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,110 The answer is no. Thank you so much. 111 00:05:09,118 --> 00:05:11,710 - Are we good? Great. - Y-Yeah. 112 00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:24,940 God! He was just so dismissive about my article. 113 00:05:24,941 --> 00:05:28,480 Yeah. He just compared my human children to rodents, so... 114 00:05:28,489 --> 00:05:31,450 I know. But, like, am I just back to square one? 115 00:05:31,453 --> 00:05:33,579 I'm just the calendar girl now? 116 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:34,779 You've got a log-in and a password. 117 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:37,380 Just go online and upload somethin'. 118 00:05:37,382 --> 00:05:40,179 Yeah, but wouldn't that make Gabe so mad? 119 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,010 No. Not if it's good. 120 00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:44,890 Remember what happened with your last article. 121 00:05:44,898 --> 00:05:47,319 I mean, that's true. That's true. 122 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,390 And I'm going to the party anyway. 123 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,910 I might as well at least see if there's an angle, right? 124 00:05:52,914 --> 00:05:56,230 - Why not? - Annie Easton investigates. 125 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:57,500 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 126 00:05:57,506 --> 00:05:59,350 Oh! Shit. 127 00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:05,490 We raided the vending machine... Oh, fuck! Shit! 128 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:10,120 Fuck shit! Fuckin' shit! 129 00:06:11,116 --> 00:06:13,080 I'm gonna get some candy. 130 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:19,330 RUTHIE: Did you know that fruit was actually the original inspiration 131 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,170 - for candy? - ANNIE: No. 132 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,600 RYAN: Annie! 133 00:06:23,099 --> 00:06:25,060 RUTHIE: Oh, my God. Who is that? 134 00:06:25,061 --> 00:06:27,649 Looks like Chewbacca after an acid attack. 135 00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:30,097 Um, yeah, I... I actually... 136 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,740 - I know him. - Ew. 137 00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:36,249 Yeah. Um, I'll... I'll talk to you tomorrow. 138 00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:37,670 Bye. 139 00:06:42,012 --> 00:06:44,640 - Hey. - What are you doing here? 140 00:06:44,642 --> 00:06:47,100 - RYAN: You didn't answer my text. - Yeah. 141 00:06:47,105 --> 00:06:48,940 Well... 142 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,570 are you still mad at me? 143 00:06:50,571 --> 00:06:52,200 I don't know. 144 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,520 [SIGHS] 145 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,790 Annie. Hey, maybe we can... 146 00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:01,299 OK, OK. I should just tell you something, OK? 147 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,882 Um, I was with someone else. 148 00:07:06,477 --> 00:07:08,770 And I don't want to hide it from you, 149 00:07:08,774 --> 00:07:12,516 and so now you know that... I fucked someone. 150 00:07:13,617 --> 00:07:15,370 Oh, shit. 151 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,750 I don't know why you even care, honestly, 152 00:07:19,754 --> 00:07:22,090 but that's what I was doing when I wasn't with you. 153 00:07:22,092 --> 00:07:23,560 RYAN: Wait, wait, wait, wait. 154 00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:26,890 - Who was it? - Someone I know. 155 00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:30,140 Someone... that I have known. 156 00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:32,360 - Was it Pete or Mike? - No. 157 00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:36,206 God. Do you even have any sense of who those people are? 158 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,379 How could you do... like... 159 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:44,800 I mean, this feels fuckin' really, really bad. 160 00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:47,099 - ANNIE: Yeah. Yeah. - I feel insane right now. 161 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,850 I hate this! 162 00:07:48,854 --> 00:07:52,310 OK, well, don't you think that that's exactly how I felt 163 00:07:52,318 --> 00:07:54,110 when I saw you with that pencil girl? 164 00:07:54,114 --> 00:07:56,934 I mean, I felt like shit, and now you feel like shit. 165 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,728 OK, let's call it even. 166 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:03,274 No, because I can't keep fucking doing this half-ass thing with you. 167 00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:06,610 I mean, we've been through this, truly, a million times, 168 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,470 and you keep coming after me, but... but honestly, 169 00:08:09,477 --> 00:08:12,609 if you don't see me as someone who you want as a girlfriend, 170 00:08:12,610 --> 00:08:15,780 then I don't know what we're doing here. 171 00:08:15,782 --> 00:08:19,329 I don't know what I want, OK? But I fuckin' hate this. 172 00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:20,619 This feels terrible. 173 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:22,960 Yeah, well, you made it like this. 174 00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:25,469 - You did this. I gotta go. - I didn't... 175 00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:27,480 I didn't know that I did... 176 00:08:31,396 --> 00:08:32,599 Annie, come on. 177 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,299 ANNIE: I don't know, it was kinda sad, 178 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:37,199 he, like, tracked me down, you know? 179 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,980 And that's what I honestly can't believe. 180 00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:40,186 He came to my work. 181 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,870 - No Ryan. - What? 182 00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:44,080 I can't even talk about how I blew him off? 183 00:08:44,089 --> 00:08:46,510 No, because talking about him could lead to more obsessing, 184 00:08:46,511 --> 00:08:48,889 - and we can't take that risk. - Hmm. 185 00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,613 Oh, God. What is that? 186 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:54,400 The ATM girl gave me micro-dose shroom pills. 187 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,900 - I've taken like 20. - OK, but what is it? 188 00:08:56,906 --> 00:08:58,442 It's just like a mini-dose of shrooms, 189 00:08:58,443 --> 00:08:59,910 it gives you like a really chill vibe. 190 00:08:59,912 --> 00:09:01,700 Yeah, but you took 20. 191 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,750 Yeah, because I flirt better when I'm high. 192 00:09:03,753 --> 00:09:06,140 - Macro-dose, baby. - Oh, God. 193 00:09:07,678 --> 00:09:09,550 Are you sure you're not gonna be hot? 194 00:09:09,557 --> 00:09:11,419 Well, I don't want to get a sunburn. 195 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,310 Plus, you know, I'm here as a journalist. 196 00:09:13,314 --> 00:09:16,097 It would be unprofessional for me to wear a swimsuit. 197 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:19,809 And I gotta be at Forced Fun in a couple hours, you know? 198 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:23,540 ANNIE: ... it's hard to control. I get it when you feel emotional, 199 00:09:23,543 --> 00:09:26,040 - but at the same time, it's too much. - Yeah, honestly. 200 00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:27,759 - [FESTIVE CHATTER] - [CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 201 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,230 - Holy shit. - Fucking hell. 202 00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:40,664 [CHATTER, LAUGHTER] 203 00:09:54,605 --> 00:09:57,200 - FRAN: Who is that girl? - WOMAN: Have fun! 204 00:10:00,241 --> 00:10:02,420 She's so hot. 205 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:06,480 - I have to know her. - Let me just get my bearings 206 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,790 for a sec, OK? 207 00:10:07,798 --> 00:10:09,810 Just... going... 208 00:10:12,516 --> 00:10:14,470 - Hi. I'm Fran. - WOMAN: Hi. 209 00:10:14,477 --> 00:10:17,810 - My friend, Annie. - Jeans to a pool party. 210 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,190 Bold choice. I like it. 211 00:10:19,195 --> 00:10:22,990 Oh, yeah, I, uh... I like jeans, so I'm wearin' 'em. 212 00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:26,590 - [LAUGHS] - Um, wow, I'm actually... 213 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,039 the reason I'm here is 'cause 214 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,830 I'm here from The Weekly Thorn. 215 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:32,090 Oh, yes, of course. Annie. 216 00:10:32,096 --> 00:10:34,425 I know who you are. This... this is my event. 217 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:37,553 Thank you so much for signal-boosting it on the calendar. 218 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,810 You know, I actually sent it to you, 219 00:10:38,818 --> 00:10:41,348 because I fucking loved your strip club article. 220 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,860 Thank you so much! 221 00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:45,370 Um... that's so nice. How long... 222 00:10:45,372 --> 00:10:46,770 how long have you had this event? 223 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:50,024 Gosh, this is our third year, and it just keeps getting bigger. 224 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,469 Wow. Well, I love this. 225 00:10:52,470 --> 00:10:53,680 I-I really support 226 00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:55,810 everything that's happening right now. It's amazing. 227 00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:57,770 Yeah. You're so beautiful. 228 00:10:57,773 --> 00:10:59,149 - Oh. - FRAN: You're like the sun. 229 00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:01,620 - [BOTH LAUGH] - I'm very high. 230 00:11:02,866 --> 00:11:04,319 Do you guys want to get in the pool? 231 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,919 - Yes. I want to get in the pool. - WOMAN: OK, let's do it. 232 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,580 ANNIE: You guys go ahead. I'm... 233 00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:09,629 I'm gonna... 234 00:11:09,630 --> 00:11:13,140 just... I'm gonna check shit out and hang. 235 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,350 Whoo! 236 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:23,160 ♪ You make my worries disappear ♪ 237 00:11:24,535 --> 00:11:26,580 ♪ You got it, I want it ♪ 238 00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:28,830 ♪ Why would I control it? ♪ 239 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:31,430 ♪ You could give it all to me ♪ 240 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,720 ♪ You speak to my senses ♪ 241 00:11:34,722 --> 00:11:36,890 ♪ I scream till I surface ♪ 242 00:11:36,893 --> 00:11:38,600 ♪ Don't know what's reality ♪ 243 00:11:38,605 --> 00:11:39,990 Oh. 244 00:11:41,861 --> 00:11:43,620 - WOMAN: Hi. - Hi. 245 00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,210 [POP MUSIC CONTINUES] 246 00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:52,130 ♪ I want those sweet lips on me again ♪ 247 00:11:55,471 --> 00:11:57,470 ♪ Just a little bit ♪ 248 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,520 ♪ Just a little bit ♪ 249 00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:01,600 ♪ Just a little bit ♪ 250 00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:03,650 ♪ Just a little bit ♪ 251 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,700 ♪ Just a little bit ♪ 252 00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:07,530 ♪ Just a little bit ♪ 253 00:12:07,550 --> 00:12:09,620 ♪ Just a little bit ♪ 254 00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:12,880 ♪ Just a little bit, just ♪ 255 00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:16,550 ♪ I'll be your wildfire, ooh ♪ 256 00:12:16,555 --> 00:12:20,600 ♪ Got them chills up and down your spine ♪ 257 00:12:20,605 --> 00:12:24,650 ♪ I'm like a body high, high ♪ 258 00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:28,910 ♪ I'll be the only drug you need, oh... ♪ 259 00:12:28,913 --> 00:12:31,590 [CHEERFUL POP MUSIC PLAYS] 260 00:12:33,171 --> 00:12:35,629 Hi! Could I get a margarita? 261 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,799 - Yeah, you want the frozen one? - Oh... maybe. 262 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,430 They're really good. That's what I got. 263 00:12:41,438 --> 00:12:44,472 - OK, shit, I'll do it. - BARTENDER: Yeah? OK. 264 00:12:46,114 --> 00:12:47,933 I, uh, I love your skirt. 265 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,580 Oh! Thanks. It's my friend's line. 266 00:12:50,582 --> 00:12:52,062 I wear it, like, every day. 267 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:54,589 Yeah, that's... that's like exactly what I'm always looking for, 268 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:56,300 just like a plain, good skirt. 269 00:12:56,301 --> 00:12:59,820 I know, but it's so hard trying to find plus-size basics. 270 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:04,520 I know, everything is either, like, a big Indiana Walmart sack 271 00:13:04,526 --> 00:13:07,990 or it's, like, some cutesy shit covered in, like, 272 00:13:07,991 --> 00:13:10,700 Eiffel Tower postage stamps or whatever. 273 00:13:10,705 --> 00:13:12,540 - [LAUGHS] - God. 274 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,580 Oh, my friend who makes the skirts is here. 275 00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:16,590 - Do you want to meet her? - Um, yes. 276 00:13:16,592 --> 00:13:18,213 [BOTH LAUGH] 277 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,510 ANNIE: It's so cool that she like, has her own line. 278 00:13:20,517 --> 00:13:22,470 Hey, Mary. This is Annie. 279 00:13:22,478 --> 00:13:25,700 - MARY: Hey. - Nice to meet you. 280 00:13:26,444 --> 00:13:27,830 Oh, cool. 281 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,850 ♪ And I know and I know and I know ♪ 282 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,450 ♪ That you got everything ♪ 283 00:13:31,454 --> 00:13:33,499 ♪ But I got nothing here without you ♪ 284 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,790 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 285 00:13:35,797 --> 00:13:39,050 ♪ So one last time ♪ 286 00:13:39,053 --> 00:13:42,180 - ♪ I need to be the one ♪ - WOMAN: Come on! Everyone's dancing! 287 00:13:42,184 --> 00:13:44,020 ♪ Who takes you home ♪ 288 00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:46,770 ♪ One more time ♪ 289 00:13:46,777 --> 00:13:49,610 ♪ I promise after that ♪ 290 00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:52,370 - ♪ I'll let you go ♪ - WOMAN: Come on! 291 00:13:52,371 --> 00:13:54,499 - ♪ Baby, I don't care if you got her ♪ - OK. 292 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,830 ♪ In your heart ♪ 293 00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:59,359 ♪ All I really care is you wake up in my arms ♪ 294 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,880 ♪ One last time ♪ 295 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:07,240 ♪ I need to be the one who takes you home ♪ 296 00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:15,340 ♪ I know I should've fought it, at least I'm being honest ♪ 297 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:23,940 ♪ But stay with me a minute, I swear I'll make it worth it, hey ♪ 298 00:14:25,062 --> 00:14:28,400 ♪ 'Cause I don't wanna be without ya ♪ 299 00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:32,740 ♪ So one last time ♪ 300 00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:36,125 ♪ I need to be the one ♪ 301 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,750 ♪ Who takes you home ♪ 302 00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:40,460 ♪ One more time ♪ 303 00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:43,590 ♪ I promise after that ♪ 304 00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:45,769 ♪ I'll let you go ♪ 305 00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:49,388 ♪ Baby, I don't care if you got her in your heart ♪ 306 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:53,240 ♪ All I really care is you wake up in my arms ♪ 307 00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:55,870 ♪ One last time ♪ 308 00:14:55,873 --> 00:14:58,814 ♪ I need to be the one ♪ 309 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,608 ♪ Who takes you home, yeah ♪ 310 00:15:01,927 --> 00:15:03,930 FRAN: [LAUGHING] Hey! 311 00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:06,519 Oh, my God, it is so hot out here, 312 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,519 but I'm not even mad about it, honestly. 313 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,439 I'm just having so much fun! 314 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,820 - I'm having the time of my life. - Good! 315 00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:14,990 - That's what this is all about. - ANNIE: I know! 316 00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:17,369 Oh, my God, I've met so many people, and I'm honestly thinking 317 00:15:17,370 --> 00:15:19,160 about buying a crop-top, which I gotta say 318 00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:21,462 was not in the cards for me before, 319 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,310 but I just gotta get in that pool. 320 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:28,350 ♪ Everyone around me ♪ 321 00:15:28,354 --> 00:15:30,979 ♪ Thinks I'm going to fail ♪ 322 00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:35,910 ♪ But they can go to hell ♪ 323 00:15:35,912 --> 00:15:39,919 ♪ They can go to ♪ 324 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,800 ♪ Hello, I'm no one to you ♪ 325 00:15:43,803 --> 00:15:47,470 ♪ And before I wish you well ♪ 326 00:15:47,476 --> 00:15:53,411 ♪ Go to hell ♪ 327 00:15:55,033 --> 00:15:58,790 ♪ There's more than two dimensions ♪ 328 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:03,170 ♪ But you only see your point of view ♪ 329 00:16:03,174 --> 00:16:07,220 ♪ While I sing myself the blues ♪ 330 00:16:07,224 --> 00:16:08,842 ♪ This one's for you ♪ 331 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,270 - ♪ Go to hell ♪ - Yeah, this is good. 332 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:13,780 - Yay! - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] 333 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,320 - Yes, yes. - So stupid. 334 00:16:18,329 --> 00:16:20,619 They'll be bad, I know it. 335 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,560 - OK, tell me... - FRAN: They're good. 336 00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:24,339 Really? Are they good or are they bad? 337 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,460 WOMAN: They're really fun. 338 00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:26,970 FRAN: Oh, my God, you look really good! 339 00:16:26,972 --> 00:16:28,399 OK. 340 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,770 - _ - Oh, fuck! 341 00:16:30,771 --> 00:16:33,770 Shit! I was supposed to be at Forced Fun two hours ago. 342 00:16:33,777 --> 00:16:35,440 God damn it! 343 00:16:35,447 --> 00:16:38,770 OK, I can get dressed. Shit! 344 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,420 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 345 00:16:44,423 --> 00:16:46,760 - ANNIE: Hi! - AMADI: Annie. 346 00:16:46,762 --> 00:16:49,049 What's up, dude? You look like a drowned rat. 347 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,059 I know. I went... 348 00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,890 - I went to a pool party. - Yeah? 349 00:16:51,897 --> 00:16:53,470 And then I just lost track of time. 350 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:56,345 - Oh. How was it? - ANNIE: I mean, amazing, honestly. 351 00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:58,740 - Like, maybe the best day of my life. - Oh, cool. 352 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,410 ANNIE: Yeah. Oh, hey, Gabe! Hey, Tony! 353 00:17:01,415 --> 00:17:04,879 Oh, wow, Annie. Only two hours late. 354 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,499 - It's totally fine. - You know what, 355 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,720 he says that it's fine, but I can assure you, it's not fine. 356 00:17:09,975 --> 00:17:12,019 I... I got that, Tony. Thank you. 357 00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:14,819 - Lazy bodies, lazy minds. - Exactly. 358 00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:17,870 I'm sorry, was... was that directed to me? 359 00:17:19,493 --> 00:17:21,660 Annie, can we... talk in private? 360 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:24,510 Sure. Of course. 361 00:17:25,881 --> 00:17:27,550 Look, I'm... 362 00:17:27,552 --> 00:17:29,840 I don't want to embarrass you in front of everybody... 363 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,092 Yeah, Gabe, I'm really sorry. 364 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,060 Annie, your article was great, 365 00:17:34,064 --> 00:17:36,270 but writing is not all about glamor, you know, 366 00:17:36,277 --> 00:17:38,150 sometimes it's about doin' shit you don't want to do 367 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,990 - and getting paid in cat food. - I know, 368 00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:42,160 and I... I really am sorry, I just... 369 00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:45,814 I wasn't thinking, but I do... I take work very seriously. 370 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:48,800 Good. But you also know that the health focus 371 00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:51,300 requires us to take the burden off the company 372 00:17:51,307 --> 00:17:54,180 by taking care of ourselves. 373 00:17:54,188 --> 00:17:56,310 OK, what does that mean? 374 00:17:56,317 --> 00:17:58,703 There's... a sloppiness... 375 00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:03,539 Like I said, "lazy bodies, lazy minds... " 376 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,710 it's kind of where our nation is going right now. 377 00:18:05,711 --> 00:18:07,330 I mean, we can't get out of our fuckin' heads 378 00:18:07,339 --> 00:18:10,255 to get off our screens and get up and do shit. 379 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,720 I'm not sure what you're trying to say specifically. 380 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,092 Like, about my health? 381 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,149 All I'm saying is that everybody else showed up 382 00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:18,840 with their bikes on time. 383 00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:20,974 And guess who didn't. 384 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:23,490 Success is about an effort. 385 00:18:23,496 --> 00:18:26,271 I succeed because I try. I try every day, I try every way. 386 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,630 OK, well, I do try. 387 00:18:28,632 --> 00:18:30,276 You didn't today. 388 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:33,696 OK. 389 00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:37,390 TONY: All done? 390 00:18:37,399 --> 00:18:39,490 Hope you weren't too hard on her. 391 00:18:41,783 --> 00:18:43,460 [BICYCLE BELL RINGS] 392 00:18:49,716 --> 00:18:51,588 ANNIE: He implied that... 393 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,383 I need to be less fat to do good work. 394 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:57,344 God, and it's like, isn't it already bad enough 395 00:18:57,345 --> 00:19:02,070 that he is constantly writing about the obesity epidemic 396 00:19:02,073 --> 00:19:05,699 like it's this... abstract, far away thing? 397 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,640 When it's, like, that's me. You know? 398 00:19:07,650 --> 00:19:10,379 Like, I'm the obesity epidemic, and you know me. 399 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,899 You know I was like, at that event today, 400 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,300 and there were so many people 401 00:19:14,306 --> 00:19:17,390 just like, living in their bodies and enjoying their life, 402 00:19:17,395 --> 00:19:20,359 and that shit was un-fuckin'-believable to me. 403 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:24,150 And also, it's like, "OK, cool, man. 404 00:19:24,159 --> 00:19:28,040 Really fuckin' cool. Very original point. No shit." 405 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,839 You don't think the whole world isn't constantly telling me 406 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,505 that I'm a fat piece of shit who doesn't try hard? 407 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,680 Every fuckin' magazine, and commercial, 408 00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:40,600 and weird, targeted ads telling me to freeze my fat off 409 00:19:40,609 --> 00:19:45,475 or to drink a tea so that I'll shit my brain out my ass? 410 00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:48,950 And at this point, I could be a licensed fucking nutritionist, 411 00:19:48,959 --> 00:19:52,065 because I've literally been training for it since the fourth grade, 412 00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:55,760 which... is the first time that my mom said 413 00:19:55,764 --> 00:19:59,390 that I should just eat a bowl of Special K 414 00:19:59,396 --> 00:20:03,020 and not the dinner that she made for everyone else... 415 00:20:03,029 --> 00:20:06,320 [CRYING] so that I might be a little bit smaller, 416 00:20:06,327 --> 00:20:08,840 and so that she could fuckin'... 417 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,369 I could have boys like me. 418 00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:12,659 My mom said that to me, too. 419 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:15,010 I... honestly, I don't even blame her, 420 00:20:15,011 --> 00:20:17,389 because... 421 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,969 because it's a fucking mind prison, you know? 422 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:22,300 That every fuckin' woman everywhere 423 00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:25,150 has been programmed to believe, you know? 424 00:20:25,156 --> 00:20:29,620 And I've wasted so much time and energy and money, for what? 425 00:20:29,624 --> 00:20:33,040 For what?! You know? I'm fat! I'm fuckin' fat! 426 00:20:33,047 --> 00:20:35,550 Hello! I'm fat, you know? 427 00:20:35,552 --> 00:20:38,220 Yeah. I wish someone would've said this to me when I was younger. 428 00:20:38,224 --> 00:20:40,100 Me, too. 429 00:20:40,103 --> 00:20:44,270 Because it would have saved me so much time... 430 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,120 and pain. 431 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,030 [SAD GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING] 432 00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:51,750 [ANNIE SNIFFLING] 433 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,879 And I-I don't want to leave on that note. 434 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,850 I just wanna say that I actually did have a very lovely day 435 00:21:00,853 --> 00:21:02,980 and it was... very fun. 436 00:21:02,982 --> 00:21:04,780 I had so much fun. 437 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:12,170 [TYPING] 438 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:25,600 _ 439 00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,180 _ 440 00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:43,610 [UPBEAT INDIE MUSIC PLAYING] 441 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:12,250 ♪ I've been away, but I haven't changed ♪ 442 00:22:12,913 --> 00:22:17,420 ♪ Can't say the same, you've gone your way ♪ 443 00:22:17,422 --> 00:22:21,930 ♪ You think too much, your time is up ♪ 444 00:22:21,931 --> 00:22:23,885 ♪ I'll be a friend ♪ 445 00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:27,230 ♪ Just tell me when ♪ 446 00:22:27,233 --> 00:22:29,690 ♪ If you're feeling okay ♪ 447 00:22:29,697 --> 00:22:31,893 ♪ Meet me underwater ♪ 448 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,580 ♪ Meet me underwater ♪ 449 00:22:36,418 --> 00:22:38,880 ♪ If you're feeling okay ♪ 450 00:22:38,882 --> 00:22:43,600 ♪ Meet me underwater, meet me underwater ♪ 451 00:23:04,850 --> 00:23:07,940 ♪ No one cares ♪ 452 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,930 ♪ No one cares ♪ 453 00:23:15,162 --> 00:23:18,731 ♪ No one cares ♪ 454 00:23:22,051 --> 00:23:24,720 ♪ If you're feeling okay ♪ 455 00:23:24,724 --> 00:23:27,020 ♪ Meet me underwater ♪ 456 00:23:27,050 --> 00:23:28,950 ♪ Meet me underwater ♪ 35552

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