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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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3
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:02,229
Hey, Stifler, how come Steve
got all the talent in your family?
4
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:05,858
Bite me, Fuck Face.
Come on, man, you're missing it.
5
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,361
I've seen it a million times,
you fucking ass-booger.
6
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:13,282
Steve is like a filmmaking genius.
A true American hero.
7
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,908
The Tarantino of titties.
8
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,369
Yeah, there's just no way
you could ever be this good.
9
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,996
Hey, look, I'm going to prove to Steve...
10
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,249
that I'm up to the standards
of the Stiffmeister Productions.
11
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,002
After Steve sees my directing talent...
12
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,547
- little bro's joining the family business.
- Is that what he said?
13
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:32,801
- He finally called you back?
- No, but I left him another message.
14
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,723
He'll get back to me.
It's only been three weeks.
15
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:44,146
Gentle-fucks, a toast.
Tomorrow, we begin our reign as seniors.
16
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,460
Okay, people, let's take a break.
17
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:53,173
Remember, we play this at the end of
the ceremony after Pomp and Circumstance.
18
00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,509
I don't want anyone starting
the wrong song again.
19
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:58,554
- Elyse, you need to relax, girl.
- I'm fine.
20
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,807
I just... You know,
it's my first time up here, and...
21
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,601
Yeah, but it's graduation.
It ain't the Boston Pops.
22
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,896
This performance sets the tone
for our senior year. I mean...
23
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:12,693
Look, you just remember
that everybody here is pulling for you.
24
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,366
Dork. Dork. Dork. Goose.
25
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:23,954
- I like them feisty.
- What're you doing here, Stifler?
26
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,665
We just want to say sayonara,
and let you fuck-necks know...
27
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:31,670
we plan on winning the state title, now that
the Stiffmeister's running the show.
28
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:35,757
- Adios, butt-hugger.
- He's a bigger asshole than his brother.
29
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,180
Holy shit, Arrianna.
30
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,308
Matt, what're you doing here?
31
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:48,687
Oh, we just want to make sure
the seniors have a very memorable last day.
32
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,732
That's cool. So, there's a campout tonight...
33
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,902
and it's only for the grads,
but you could come.
34
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,654
Let me check my schedule. Hell, yeah.
35
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:02,784
Bring your sleeping bag,
in case we decide to pitch a tent.
36
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,627
Check it out. Perfect timing.
This is going to be classic.
37
00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:15,589
Time to initiate
Operation Gradu-fuck-uation.
38
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,219
This is gonna be awesome.
39
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,137
- Shit.
- Oh, yeah! Jackpot!
40
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,350
Payback, seniors.
Don't get that pepper spray on your hands.
41
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,314
A graduation gift from the Stiffmeister.
42
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,403
Dude, we should've sprayed
the diplomas.
43
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,282
Sorry, bandees.
44
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:51,208
Bite my nuts and call me Skippy.
It's a Steely Dan.
45
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,711
- A what?
- It's a double-headed dildo.
46
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,922
It's a dildo. It's a dildo.
47
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,800
- Holy shit.
- It's even got a name.
48
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,553
Picardo?
49
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:06,056
- Spray that shit.
- Fuck, no. Finders keepers.
50
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,726
Okay, everybody, Pomp and
Circumstance. Five-minute warning. Let's go.
51
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,145
The bandees. Let's get out of here.
52
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,318
- Matt?
- Leesy.
53
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,823
How they hanging?
Still small and perky, I see.
54
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,325
- That's funny.
- Yeah.
55
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:30,372
- What're you doing here, Matt?
- I just came by to wish you good luck.
56
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,000
- You know, on the whole music thing.
- Good luck?
57
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,878
You haven't said a word to me
since the eighth grade.
58
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,006
Yeah, and that tone of voice
is exactly the reason why.
59
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,466
So, I'm going to take off now.
60
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:49,725
Ladies and gentlemen,
please rise to honor our graduates.
61
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,476
Douchebag's gonna miss it.
62
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,574
Oh, yes.
63
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,579
Are they crying?
64
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,708
Holy shit!
65
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,674
Yes!
66
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,906
Eat shit, seniors.
67
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,094
Uh oh!
68
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,721
Stifler!
69
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:16,061
I've been waiting for this moment
for a very long time.
70
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,107
And now, the day of reckoning has come.
71
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,903
Hello, Matthew.
72
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,823
Your brother must be very proud.
73
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,744
You've continued his legacy.
74
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,914
Tormenting the innocent...
75
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,626
defiling all that is good and pure.
76
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,757
But now, you're going down.
77
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:50,053
What're you going to do,
expel me, Shermanator?
78
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:54,391
I am a sophisticated counseling machine...
79
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,228
sent back in time
to guide young and innocent minds.
80
00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:03,609
My primary directive is to protect
the students of this institution...
81
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,362
and all, indeed all mankind...
82
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:11,033
from the menace that is another Stifler.
83
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,827
Behavior modification is required.
84
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,997
It's not too late to change your future.
85
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:23,712
No, expulsion would be too easy.
86
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:30,177
I know the perfect punishment
to fit your crime.
87
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,807
Since you have so much trouble
with the band...
88
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,685
perhaps you should make friends with them.
89
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,437
No fucking way.
90
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:46,902
Either you learn to be more considerate
or you will be expelled.
91
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,238
No football.
92
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,406
No parties.
93
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:53,325
No spring break.
94
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,662
No graduation.
95
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,622
No college.
96
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,415
No coeds.
97
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,709
Comprende?
98
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,466
Pack your bags, Stifler.
99
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:12,803
- You're going to Band Camp.
- Band Camp!
100
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,854
Bullshit, trash.
101
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,026
All right, Steve! Valley Girls Gone Wild.
102
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,821
Fuck.
103
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,841
Told you Steve'd get back to me.
104
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,301
I mean, it was just a postcard...
105
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,595
but it gave me a great idea.
106
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:55,804
Look...
107
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:58,015
Steve's shit-head friend, Jim...
108
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,559
he married
this freaking nympho band-geek, Michelle.
109
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,562
And he said
all they do at Band Camp is screw 24/7.
110
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:07,774
Matt, buddy, you cannot screw band chicks.
There are standards.
111
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:12,571
I'm not talking about screwing them,
scrotum-breath.
112
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:15,240
I'm talking about videotaping them.
113
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:18,869
People love to see dorks doing
that freaky shit on hidden video.
114
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:22,789
Bandeez Gone Wild.
Steve's gonna have some competition now...
115
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,542
because little bro's
joining the family business.
116
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,424
Yeah, Spy Chest.
117
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,635
Secret Video.
118
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,513
Hell, yeah.
119
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:42,518
Color night vision? I'll take it. Shit.
120
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,486
How about tomorrow?
This is going be great.
121
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:37,531
Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005.
122
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,535
Let's hear it from Lloyd Memorial High.
123
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,037
L- L-O-Y-D!
124
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,331
L- L-O-Y-D!
125
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,334
- Mount St. Marie.
- Mount St. Marie!
126
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,878
Mount St. Marie!
127
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:52,588
East Great Falls High.
128
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,673
East Great Falls!
129
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,717
East Great Falls!
130
00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,888
And five-time defending
Tall Oaks Cup Champion...
131
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,973
Beechwood Academy.
132
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,809
We're Number One! We're Number One!
We're Number One!
133
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,102
Okay, settle down.
134
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:10,272
Now, as you know, each year...
135
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:13,400
one senior Tall Oaks composer is awarded...
136
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:17,988
a full scholarship
to the prestigious Robards Conservatory.
137
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,240
Elyse, this is your year to win.
138
00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:23,535
This year, Dr. Susan Choi,
president of Robards...
139
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:26,538
will judge the compositions herself.
140
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:31,126
And let's not forget to welcome
the Tall Oaks Camp Counselors.
141
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:42,679
If you visit our infirmary, Nurse Sanders
will take care of your every need.
142
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:49,937
Okay, so let's work hard,
and may the best band win.
143
00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,029
You guys ready?
144
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,341
What the fuck?
145
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:22,094
Are you a rookie? You look lost.
146
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,223
Are you an asshole?
You're hairy, and you smell like shit.
147
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:31,019
I'll ignore that kind of talk once.
148
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,314
We don't speak that way here.
149
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:38,861
Rookies are to wear their beanies
at all times. Those are the rules.
150
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:41,738
And who made you
the mayor of Geek Town?
151
00:13:42,573 --> 00:13:46,702
I'm Brandon Vandecamp,
senior drum major, Beechwood Academy...
152
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,537
and the president of the Tall Oaks Council.
153
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,624
Oh, and who are they, Mr. President?
The First Lady and Vice Pussy?
154
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,132
Suits you well.
155
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:05,012
Golly, jeepers, thanks. Hey, you know,
since I'm an official band geek and all...
156
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,347
can you guess
what my favorite piece of music is?
157
00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:09,892
- I have no idea.
- The Nutcracker.
158
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,395
Step back, bitch.
159
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,856
Holy mother of Mozart.
160
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:18,901
This is bad.
161
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,653
You didn't know Jackie Chan
was in the house, did you boys, huh?
162
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:23,739
Stop that. Stop that now.
163
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,158
Those knob-slobbers started it.
164
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,869
That's not true, sir.
We simply reminded him to wear his beanie.
165
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:31,330
And then he viciously assaulted
Brandon's genitals.
166
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:35,876
- That's a lie, you dick-snot.
- Oscar, Jimmy, escort this man to see...
167
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,462
- the Macro.
- The what?
168
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:41,173
- You're dead.
- Now, gentlemen.
169
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,176
God, Brandon, are you okay?
170
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,763
You want to tell me
what the hell you're doing here, Stifler?
171
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,390
It don't matter, Big O.
He ain't gonna be here long.
172
00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:51,600
- Bitch!
- Get over here.
173
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,894
Macro gonna fuck your ass up, fool.
174
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,563
- What the fuck's a macro?
- The Macro.
175
00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,857
Morale And Conflict Resolution Officer.
176
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,318
I heard this one time,
this kid went into that office...
177
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,153
a baritone and came out a soprano.
178
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:06,198
- Clarinet up the ass backwards, yo.
- What?
179
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,082
Pussies.
180
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,347
Oh, I'm sorry.
181
00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,685
Frankenstein. Scary stuff.
182
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,355
I am just a Boris Karloff nut.
183
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,734
- I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein.
- Holy shit, you're Jim's dad.
184
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:46,280
He screwed that redheaded nympho chick
at my lake house.
185
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:50,075
- Oh, my, you're not a Stifler?
- Yeah, I'm Steve's brother, Matt.
186
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:55,122
- There are two Stiflers?
- Yes, sir. Hey, what're you doing here?
187
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:59,209
Oh, well, Jim is now out of the house,
married to Michelle...
188
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:02,462
that redheaded nympho chick
that you spoke of.
189
00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:06,675
And, being a former
Tall Oaks Counselor of the Year...
190
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:11,889
she was hired to be the Macro this summer,
but she got pregnant.
191
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:15,684
No doubt due to the tendencies
you alluded to earlier.
192
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,812
And I have a great rapport with
young people...
193
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:21,315
so I just stepped in and volunteered.
194
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:24,943
That cretin is not in our band,
and we are not responsible for his actions.
195
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,779
- Who pissed in your piccolo?
- I'm sensing some hostility here.
196
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,198
- He poisoned my band.
- What?
197
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:32,284
- I'm the Macro and it's my job to deal with...
- What is he doing here?
198
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,787
- Matt Stifler is pure evil just like his brother.
... conflict.
199
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,372
Thanks, Leesy.
200
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,754
She seems nice.
201
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:46,173
There are rules, of course.
202
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,966
- You will have to wear a beanie.
- Yeah.
203
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,470
Oh, I know. It's a little silly,
but it's tradition here...
204
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:55,182
something you're familiar with,
being on the football team, I'm sure...
205
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:58,810
with your elephant walks and circle jerks
and drinking butt beer.
206
00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:01,230
But here, you just have to wear
a silly little hat and...
207
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:03,857
- a somewhat stylish Tall Oaks T-shirt.
- Yeah.
208
00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,527
So, just go with the flow, Matt...
209
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,029
and you will have loads of fun...
210
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:12,449
and you'll be making new friends in no time.
211
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:22,334
Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz, tenor sax.
212
00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:26,255
Cool! I'm a rookie here, too.
213
00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:30,425
I really wanted to come last year,
but Computer Camp conflicted, and...
214
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:34,721
Oh, yeah, that was here when I arrived.
I think it has your name on it.
215
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,267
What is it?
216
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:43,689
Hi, welcome to Casa de Stifler.
I'll be your host, Matt.
217
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:47,401
Every day here, I'll make it my sincere goal
not to have to kick your ass.
218
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,320
Allow me to show you
to your new accommodations.
219
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,991
When I'm out here, you're in there.
220
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,244
Have a great day, fucko.
221
00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:58,745
I don't...
222
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,333
Okay...
223
00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:05,085
I'll just go and put this stuff away for you.
224
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,420
All right. Bandee-vision.
225
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:13,468
This is a 1978 Ohio State show...
226
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,928
The Wizard Of Oz.
227
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:18,765
The one where the sousaphone player
forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey.
228
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,478
Yeah, right. Freaks.
229
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,941
Never fear, the Stiffmeister's here.
230
00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:31,195
Band Camp just got
a whole lot better, ladies.
231
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,906
You're Steve Stifler's younger brother,
aren't you?
232
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:35,824
- Young and hung.
- Great.
233
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:39,286
- Could you send him a message for me?
- No problem, senorita.
234
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:50,881
Well, it looks like Steve gave someone
the old Stifler bang-and-boot.
235
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:55,260
- Is there a problem here?
- No, everything's fine.
236
00:18:57,304 --> 00:19:00,557
- Have fun at Band Camp.
- Thank you, I will.
237
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,897
- Later.
- Word.
238
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,192
You need to start showing some respect
around here, Stifler.
239
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:13,695
You need to show yourself
back to your table, Big Dog.
240
00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,614
Out of my way, Yo.
241
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:21,036
Hola, chicas.
Elyse, so good to see you again.
242
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:24,498
So, what's going on tonight?
We gonna party, get a little crazy?
243
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,167
Who wants to rack up
a few frequent fucker miles?
244
00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:30,337
- You know, you are the most...
- Most sexy man ever to come to Band Camp.
245
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:34,466
- What? Chloe, he is so obnoxious.
- Sexy obnoxious.
246
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,636
- Thank you.
- I'm tired of messing around with these...
247
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,638
dorky-ass nice guys...
248
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:42,015
and sensitive-artist types.
249
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:46,937
- Let's party with a real hombre tonight.
- Hell, yeah. That's me:
250
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:51,483
- 100% hombre.
- All right, my room, 8:00.
251
00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:56,321
Great first day, campers.
This is your Macro speaking...
252
00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:59,950
and, hey, morale
couldn't have been higher today.
253
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,786
So hop in the sack,
and get a good night's sleep because...
254
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:07,124
starting tomorrow, we have
many, many exciting activities planned...
255
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:10,961
not the least of which is
the race for the Tall Oaks Cup.
256
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:13,172
So let the games begin.
257
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:17,426
Bandeez Gone Wild.
Scene One. Party hombre.
258
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:26,643
It's called Strip Trivia. We made it up.
It's a Band Camp tradition.
259
00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:31,273
"Fourth and Long," "Sextuplets,"
"Banging Babes," and "Who Blew Me?"
260
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:34,568
This looks like my kind of game.
Shall we play?
261
00:20:35,569 --> 00:20:38,572
You sit in the middle.
Your game, my seating chart.
262
00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:40,240
Sit a little closer, ladies.
263
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:42,659
Don't be scared. It's all right.
264
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:43,911
Okay...
265
00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:47,206
the rules are simple.
You choose a category and a question...
266
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,750
and every time you miss, you strip.
267
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:50,918
Hell, yeah.
268
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:54,671
- I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?"
- Good.
269
00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:02,429
I am a silver Stradivarius trumpet
played by a Pulitzer Prize winner.
270
00:21:03,472 --> 00:21:04,806
Who blew me?
271
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,476
- Yeah, like I'd know.
- Sorry.
272
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,144
Lose the shoes, and pick again.
273
00:21:09,228 --> 00:21:11,188
You didn't tell me this shit was about music.
274
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,900
- Well, it is Band Camp, moron.
- Hey, to be fair...
275
00:21:15,192 --> 00:21:18,237
maybe we should just give him a head start.
276
00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:23,492
All right. Yeah.
277
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,453
Okay, all right. All right.
278
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:30,958
What's wrong with you?
Scared to show off the mosquito bites?
279
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,794
I've matured since the fourth grade, Matt.
Have you?
280
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:36,922
Oh, I've got 10 pounds of dangling maturity
right here, Leesy.
281
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,967
- Quit calling me that.
- Okay, okay, moving on.
282
00:21:40,676 --> 00:21:44,930
- Matt, just pick another question, please.
- All right, screw it. Whatever.
283
00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:47,766
There you go. Suck on that.
284
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:52,062
- Fourth and Long.
- Sure, no problem.
285
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:59,862
Of Beethoven's major symphonies,
which has the longest fourth movement?
286
00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:02,656
All right, I see where this is going.
287
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:05,450
Fine, you win.
288
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,164
I free ball, ladies.
289
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:16,044
Got to let the big boys breathe.
All right, we play by my rules now.
290
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:19,423
Football questions only.
Prepare to strip, ladies.
291
00:22:20,174 --> 00:22:23,802
- Wait. But first, does anybody want a beer?
- I do.
292
00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:29,224
The counselors have a secret stash
in the fridge across the hall.
293
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:33,270
- Would you mind?
- Now we're talking about a fucking party.
294
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,147
Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy.
295
00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:40,027
I mean, there's nobody around...
296
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:42,529
and we haven't seen your best side yet.
297
00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:51,371
Yes! We got him.
298
00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:55,292
So busted.
299
00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:05,594
Man, big boys, wake up.
300
00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:08,180
Just gotta turn down the A.C. In there, huh?
301
00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:09,431
Good night, girls.
302
00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:19,441
Sorry, asshole, game's over.
303
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:24,071
Yeah, the big boys
will love the long walk home.
304
00:23:24,947 --> 00:23:26,740
Room check, girls.
305
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,326
Oh, shit.
306
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,912
- Ditch his clothes.
- Out the window.
307
00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:35,123
All right, who wants a long neck?
308
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:43,757
Nurse Sanders.
309
00:23:46,552 --> 00:23:49,054
- They set me up.
- He attacked us with pepper spray...
310
00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:51,849
- and ruined our graduation.
- I went there for a friendly game...
311
00:23:51,932 --> 00:23:53,016
Hold it. Hold it. Kids.
312
00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,143
Okay...
313
00:23:55,394 --> 00:23:57,145
where are your clothes?
314
00:23:59,815 --> 00:24:01,275
I have them.
315
00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:03,902
- May I ask why?
- Well, they got me naked...
316
00:24:03,986 --> 00:24:07,239
- Oh, whatever. He took his own pants off...
- And they stole my clothes.
317
00:24:07,322 --> 00:24:10,075
And I got stuck up there
with Mrs. Doubtfire checking out my...
318
00:24:16,248 --> 00:24:18,208
Let me see if I have this straight.
319
00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:23,046
Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock
who wears his penis on his forehead...
320
00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:26,550
just to gain the approval of
his sociopathic brother.
321
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:30,554
And Matt, you think Elyse
is an uptight, geeky prude...
322
00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:33,390
who needs to loosen up and get laid.
323
00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:36,685
Excuse the expression, dear.
Is that close to being on the money?
324
00:24:38,437 --> 00:24:39,605
Look, kids...
325
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:43,650
the only way to solve your differences...
326
00:24:44,318 --> 00:24:45,986
is by working together.
327
00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:48,947
So why don't you start tomorrow...
328
00:24:49,364 --> 00:24:52,451
by putting one foot in front of the other?
329
00:24:56,121 --> 00:24:57,915
Left flank hut.
330
00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:01,877
Turn and hut.
331
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:10,802
What the fuck!
332
00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:14,181
Band 10 hut!
333
00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:15,474
Holy shit.
334
00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:19,561
When I yell "band 10 hut,"
you snap firmly at attention.
335
00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:23,357
- You want to see me firmly at attention?
- I already have. I wasn't impressed.
336
00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:27,486
Look...
337
00:25:28,362 --> 00:25:30,322
we've never beaten Beechwood, okay?
338
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,158
For some of us, it's our last shot.
339
00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,538
Just stop screwing up, okay?
340
00:25:37,621 --> 00:25:39,039
Yeah, asshole.
341
00:25:41,625 --> 00:25:43,877
Okay, people, back to work, let's go.
Whatever.
342
00:25:43,961 --> 00:25:45,337
I don't need this shit.
343
00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:47,881
Reset the block. Front ranks, right here.
344
00:26:01,854 --> 00:26:03,188
Housekeeping.
345
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:33,051
Oscar, brought me something to drink?
346
00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:36,346
- Come on.
- Good looking out, baby.
347
00:26:38,932 --> 00:26:40,684
Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz.
348
00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:43,896
So you finally came out of the closet.
Good for you.
349
00:26:45,272 --> 00:26:47,816
Look, I want to know
what goes on at night, all right?
350
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:50,527
All the crazy shit.
Naked pillow fights, whatever.
351
00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:54,114
Do I look like the guy that's in charge of
the naked pillow fights, huh?
352
00:26:54,198 --> 00:26:55,741
It's my first time here.
353
00:26:55,824 --> 00:26:57,034
Notice the beanie?
354
00:26:57,117 --> 00:26:58,243
Yes.
355
00:26:59,203 --> 00:27:00,662
Yes, I do.
356
00:27:00,746 --> 00:27:04,124
Yes, speaking of beanies,
where's yours, Stifler?
357
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:06,418
You still not following the rules, huh?
358
00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,420
- Let's see.
- Look. He's getting in trouble again.
359
00:27:08,504 --> 00:27:11,924
No standard-issue Tall Oaks T-shirt
and no beanie.
360
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:15,344
I believe that's two points from Great Falls,
Mr. Nelson.
361
00:27:15,594 --> 00:27:17,471
Tell you what, Vande-cramp...
362
00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:20,599
what if I took his beanie...
363
00:27:20,682 --> 00:27:23,435
and put it on my weenie?
364
00:27:23,519 --> 00:27:27,606
How do you like that Vande-cramp?
It's on my head, right?
365
00:27:27,773 --> 00:27:30,025
Make it five points from Great Falls.
366
00:27:30,192 --> 00:27:31,485
Five points.
367
00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:34,738
Man, this place sucks donkey ass.
368
00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,578
Put your beanie on, Son.
369
00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:49,378
Five points.
370
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:15,028
Stay still. Stop moving.
371
00:28:15,112 --> 00:28:16,864
He ain't going nowhere now.
372
00:28:16,947 --> 00:28:20,284
This isn't your world. This is our
world, and we don't want you in it.
373
00:28:20,367 --> 00:28:22,619
You already cost us
five points in the standings.
374
00:28:22,703 --> 00:28:24,496
We can't have that.
375
00:28:24,746 --> 00:28:26,456
Set the man up with his beanie.
376
00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:36,133
Now you're representing, fool.
377
00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:37,509
And this toothpaste...
378
00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:40,304
this will make up
for the pepper spray, asshole.
379
00:28:54,193 --> 00:28:55,736
Oh, shit.
380
00:28:56,445 --> 00:28:58,864
I'll get the paint thinner
from maintenance.
381
00:29:00,449 --> 00:29:01,825
Animals.
382
00:29:12,294 --> 00:29:16,423
Matt, you were sent here...
383
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,300
to make a change.
384
00:29:18,467 --> 00:29:22,221
And, so far, you've only had
your sinuses sanitized. So...
385
00:29:22,596 --> 00:29:25,015
I think it's time to try a new approach.
386
00:29:25,474 --> 00:29:27,267
Make some friends.
387
00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:30,854
Earn their trust.
388
00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:35,400
Why would I want to earn their trust?
389
00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:40,197
Good.
390
00:29:44,326 --> 00:29:46,411
Welcome to Stifler-vision.
391
00:29:46,495 --> 00:29:48,997
I think there's
a cymbal class at 1:00.
392
00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:50,374
I hate that.
393
00:29:50,457 --> 00:29:52,668
Yeah, but it's better than
the bass drum relay.
394
00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:54,002
Yeah, that's true.
395
00:29:58,549 --> 00:30:00,759
Yours look totally fantastic.
396
00:30:00,843 --> 00:30:04,096
Two for the price of one.
My left one's bigger, see?
397
00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:07,099
Yeah, mine, too, baby.
They can totally fix that.
398
00:30:07,182 --> 00:30:08,934
No!
Want to see?
399
00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:11,603
I used to be...
Lens fog. No!
400
00:30:22,906 --> 00:30:26,785
What is that thing, butt weasel?
Yeah, it's the KR3, baby.
401
00:30:26,869 --> 00:30:30,539
The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic Rover.
And you are so busted.
402
00:30:30,622 --> 00:30:34,209
- Hey, Oscar, somebody call the Macro.
- Dude, please, shut up.
403
00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:38,046
Pull your panties out of your ass.
I can help you with that chick.
404
00:30:41,842 --> 00:30:42,926
What chick?
405
00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:45,512
Dude, the one with all the tattoos.
The Tubanator.
406
00:30:45,596 --> 00:30:47,055
Her name is Chloe.
407
00:30:47,681 --> 00:30:51,059
Come on, man. I can help.
I'm the Stiffmeister.
408
00:30:51,143 --> 00:30:53,937
- Master of love and romance.
- Bullshit.
409
00:30:54,104 --> 00:30:58,567
I nailed three cheerleaders in one week
on spring break. College cheerleaders.
410
00:31:09,077 --> 00:31:11,580
And I know why your camera spritzed out.
411
00:31:14,291 --> 00:31:16,251
Dude, this thing is awesome.
412
00:31:16,835 --> 00:31:19,922
- You ever use this to look up chicks' skirts?
- No.
413
00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:22,382
But I did use it to win
the State Science Fair last year.
414
00:31:22,466 --> 00:31:24,760
And I'm hoping it gets me into MIT next fall.
415
00:31:24,843 --> 00:31:26,887
I really want to work for NASA.
416
00:31:27,095 --> 00:31:29,598
National Anal Sex Association?
417
00:31:29,806 --> 00:31:31,558
No it's Space...
418
00:31:32,351 --> 00:31:37,022
- There's an Anal Sex Association?
- Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro.
419
00:31:38,607 --> 00:31:40,776
Wait, there's a Space Association?
420
00:31:42,319 --> 00:31:44,279
You were supposed to use this.
421
00:31:45,572 --> 00:31:49,785
- See, it's got an anti-fog lens. Duh.
- Yeah, good.
422
00:31:50,869 --> 00:31:55,749
- Can the robot record?
- All right, so, what are your intentions?
423
00:31:57,209 --> 00:31:59,711
With the video, I mean. What are you doing?
424
00:31:59,795 --> 00:32:01,338
Oh, it's just for fun.
425
00:32:01,630 --> 00:32:05,092
I mean, who doesn't like to look
at hot naked chicks, right?
426
00:32:06,552 --> 00:32:09,137
Keep it between us, and I'll let you watch.
427
00:32:09,429 --> 00:32:13,058
Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe
the pelvic noogie inside a week.
428
00:32:14,309 --> 00:32:16,311
Hey, Stifler. Phone.
429
00:32:16,478 --> 00:32:18,313
We're in Detroit!
430
00:32:18,939 --> 00:32:21,650
Locked into sweet Brazilian rum.
431
00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:24,486
I'm fucking fubar, man!
432
00:32:24,570 --> 00:32:28,907
I sent you rum today.
Could come in handy in Dorksville.
433
00:32:28,991 --> 00:32:30,659
This place blows.
434
00:32:31,869 --> 00:32:33,579
Hey, my roommate, Dr. Robot...
435
00:32:33,662 --> 00:32:35,831
busted me taping some college chicks
in the shower.
436
00:32:35,914 --> 00:32:38,041
So now I have to be all nice to him and shit.
437
00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:41,503
And I'm not getting any good footage
'cause these fucking bandees hate me.
438
00:32:43,213 --> 00:32:45,424
Think of it
like trying to hook up with a virgin.
439
00:32:45,507 --> 00:32:49,094
Act like you give a shit about them
until they bring you into the good stuff.
440
00:32:49,178 --> 00:32:51,054
Earn their trust?
441
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,640
Dude, that could work.
442
00:32:53,765 --> 00:32:56,310
I'll be an undercover bandee fucker.
443
00:32:57,227 --> 00:33:00,731
Hello, everyone.
Isn't it a peachy day here at Band Camp?
444
00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:04,818
Band buds. How's it going? Yo.
445
00:33:05,569 --> 00:33:09,531
Hey, I just want to say thanks
for the little wakeup call. You kidders.
446
00:33:10,657 --> 00:33:13,744
Hey, I can finally hear
the music calling me, okay?
447
00:33:14,995 --> 00:33:17,831
There. Hear it? Yeah. Me, too.
448
00:33:18,081 --> 00:33:22,753
So I'm a totally new man, and... By the way,
you both look great in pantyhose.
449
00:33:33,138 --> 00:33:36,433
- What are you doing?
- Awaiting my marching lesson, ma'am.
450
00:33:36,517 --> 00:33:38,977
Look, Matt, I really don't have time for this
right now.
451
00:33:39,061 --> 00:33:42,606
No, look, I figure I'm here,
I might as well make the best of it.
452
00:33:42,689 --> 00:33:46,109
Matt, marching's hard, okay?
It's not like throwing some football.
453
00:33:46,193 --> 00:33:49,863
- Oh, you ever thrown into double coverage?
- You ever high-stepped in double time?
454
00:33:49,947 --> 00:33:53,450
Yes, ma'am, the time the cops chased us
across Koreno's Creek.
455
00:33:54,076 --> 00:33:56,954
And you got so scared, you cried.
456
00:33:57,704 --> 00:34:01,792
- I had allergies.
- It was winter, Mattie.
457
00:34:02,793 --> 00:34:06,255
Well, if you don't teach me to march,
I might just cry again.
458
00:34:09,842 --> 00:34:11,009
Fine.
459
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:15,347
Left foot on one and three,
right foot on two and four.
460
00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:16,974
You have to do math?
461
00:34:25,566 --> 00:34:29,486
One, two, three, middle.
One, two, three, line.
462
00:34:29,570 --> 00:34:31,780
Right foot on four.
463
00:34:34,032 --> 00:34:36,577
- Keep your step size even.
- My what?
464
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,665
All right, there we go, little buddy.
I'm gonna fix you up good.
465
00:34:43,125 --> 00:34:47,963
Any girl that knows how to play a tuba,
she can do things. That's what Stifler says.
466
00:34:48,046 --> 00:34:50,674
I don't know what it means,
but it's got to be good.
467
00:34:50,757 --> 00:34:52,009
You're good to go.
468
00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:53,635
Let's go find Chloe.
469
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:07,649
Holy shit.
470
00:35:08,901 --> 00:35:12,196
What the hell? Who's doing this?
471
00:35:14,531 --> 00:35:15,657
Take it.
472
00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:16,825
It's okay.
473
00:35:26,502 --> 00:35:30,130
- Thanks, little creepy machine.
- You're welcome...
474
00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:32,216
beautiful lady.
475
00:35:47,523 --> 00:35:51,818
With my right, with my right,
but I can also do it with my left, with my left.
476
00:35:55,322 --> 00:35:56,406
Bootie.
477
00:35:57,824 --> 00:35:58,951
Good game.
478
00:36:05,165 --> 00:36:07,000
You just touched my bootie.
479
00:36:14,049 --> 00:36:16,468
- What's that?
- Your instrument.
480
00:36:16,927 --> 00:36:18,720
That's fucking gay.
481
00:36:19,763 --> 00:36:21,890
- I mean lame.
- Good.
482
00:36:22,683 --> 00:36:25,561
Now, there are two positions.
483
00:36:26,186 --> 00:36:30,357
Carrying position, like this,
and playing position, like this.
484
00:36:30,524 --> 00:36:32,234
Now when I call, "horns up"...
485
00:36:32,317 --> 00:36:34,403
you're gonna move your instrument out,
and then...
486
00:36:34,486 --> 00:36:36,154
Hello, losers.
487
00:36:36,321 --> 00:36:40,117
Matt. Oh, my God. Matt, I am so sorry.
488
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,452
- I think I bit a hole in my tongue.
- Oh, let me see.
489
00:36:42,536 --> 00:36:45,080
No, no hole.
On today's...
490
00:36:45,163 --> 00:36:48,500
episode wasting time on lost causes.
491
00:36:49,209 --> 00:36:53,338
Speaking of which, I understand you
composed the music to your show, Elyse...
492
00:36:53,422 --> 00:36:55,048
if you call that music.
493
00:36:55,132 --> 00:36:57,593
Yeah. That's right. I did.
494
00:36:57,676 --> 00:36:59,887
And who'd your daddy hire
to compose yours?
495
00:36:59,970 --> 00:37:04,933
I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake.
Robards Scholarship is mine.
496
00:37:05,434 --> 00:37:06,852
Like you need it.
497
00:37:07,144 --> 00:37:10,147
It's not a matter of need.
It's a matter of want.
498
00:37:10,439 --> 00:37:13,859
- Yeah, I get what I want.
- Why don't you shut the fuck up?
499
00:37:13,942 --> 00:37:15,194
Matt, don't.
500
00:37:16,236 --> 00:37:19,031
- What are you going to do?
- Kick your ass.
501
00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:20,991
- Are you challenging me?
- No.
502
00:37:21,074 --> 00:37:24,453
- Yeah, what if I am?
- No, Brandon, that is not what he's doing.
503
00:37:24,536 --> 00:37:27,372
I accept. Amphitheatre, 5:00.
504
00:37:27,748 --> 00:37:30,626
It's been three years
since I've been challenged.
505
00:37:30,876 --> 00:37:32,753
We got a challenge.
506
00:37:35,464 --> 00:37:37,883
I look forward to reminding people why.
507
00:37:38,675 --> 00:37:40,177
East Great Falls.
508
00:37:40,469 --> 00:37:42,596
I'll see you there, asshole.
509
00:37:44,473 --> 00:37:48,310
- Do you know what you just did?
- Doesn't matter. He's going down.
510
00:37:48,393 --> 00:37:51,063
Matt, you challenged him to a duel.
511
00:37:51,355 --> 00:37:52,564
With swords?
512
00:37:53,190 --> 00:37:57,027
No, you idiot.
You each get on stage and perform.
513
00:37:57,110 --> 00:37:59,154
And the crowd decides who wins.
514
00:37:59,655 --> 00:38:01,573
Can't we just do keg stands?
515
00:38:02,157 --> 00:38:06,578
Matt, this is serious, okay?
Beechwood gets five points if he wins...
516
00:38:06,662 --> 00:38:09,957
which, you know, he will
because he plays an instrument.
517
00:38:10,165 --> 00:38:11,959
Well, so do I.
518
00:38:12,501 --> 00:38:15,295
Let the Tall Oaks
Battle Royale begin.
519
00:38:15,879 --> 00:38:18,757
The prize is five points towards the cup.
520
00:38:19,675 --> 00:38:21,677
Okay, Brandon, you're up first.
521
00:39:05,637 --> 00:39:06,930
Come on!
522
00:39:09,266 --> 00:39:11,810
Suck on that, bitch.
523
00:39:12,853 --> 00:39:14,146
Lame.
524
00:39:14,897 --> 00:39:16,481
This is so embarrassing.
525
00:39:16,565 --> 00:39:17,816
Okay, Brandon.
526
00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:19,526
Now you show him, Brandon.
527
00:39:37,461 --> 00:39:38,670
Take that!
528
00:39:50,307 --> 00:39:53,101
Well, seems this contest is over.
529
00:39:53,769 --> 00:39:56,146
Figures. We just lost five points.
530
00:39:58,774 --> 00:40:01,777
And the winner by forfeit is...
531
00:40:04,279 --> 00:40:05,948
But I know it's not his fault...
532
00:40:29,179 --> 00:40:30,931
You don't know the words.
533
00:40:52,703 --> 00:40:54,288
He should shave that.
534
00:40:57,124 --> 00:40:58,792
East Great Falls!
535
00:40:59,376 --> 00:41:01,211
East Great Falls!
536
00:41:01,503 --> 00:41:03,422
East Great Falls!
537
00:41:04,089 --> 00:41:05,716
East Great Falls!
538
00:41:08,886 --> 00:41:11,471
Okay, five points to Great Falls.
539
00:41:13,348 --> 00:41:15,350
All right, Great Falls!
540
00:41:17,728 --> 00:41:19,897
East Great Falls!
541
00:41:22,399 --> 00:41:23,275
East Great Falls!
542
00:41:24,318 --> 00:41:26,445
East Great Falls!
543
00:41:26,528 --> 00:41:28,530
East Great Falls!
544
00:41:30,115 --> 00:41:31,825
Hey, hey...
545
00:41:31,909 --> 00:41:33,994
- Hey.
- What?
546
00:41:34,077 --> 00:41:36,663
- Are you really Scottish?
- Fuck, no.
547
00:41:37,664 --> 00:41:39,041
My mum made me learn an instrument.
548
00:41:39,124 --> 00:41:41,001
That's the most annoying one
I could think of.
549
00:41:41,084 --> 00:41:44,880
I think you were just born
to squeeze sacks and blow pipes, Stifler.
550
00:41:45,088 --> 00:41:46,423
Hey, Oscar.
551
00:41:51,136 --> 00:41:53,805
How many other Oscars
do you know? Go!
552
00:41:56,183 --> 00:41:58,602
- What's up?
- Your drum line sounds pretty tight.
553
00:41:58,685 --> 00:41:59,770
Oh, thanks.
554
00:41:59,853 --> 00:42:01,897
You let me know
if you want to learn some new moves.
555
00:42:02,105 --> 00:42:03,232
Really?
556
00:42:03,315 --> 00:42:06,026
- He's gonna screw it up.
- He's definitely gonna screw it up.
557
00:42:07,569 --> 00:42:11,823
- Thanks for winning those points back.
- I lost them. I had to get them back.
558
00:42:12,658 --> 00:42:15,744
Hey, guys,
Sheree's gonna show me some moves.
559
00:42:16,286 --> 00:42:17,371
Hey, gang...
560
00:42:17,454 --> 00:42:21,834
just a little reminder that as the battle
for the cup heats up, let's try to remember...
561
00:42:23,043 --> 00:42:26,588
to keep up that Tall Oaks spirit of fair play
and friendly competition.
562
00:42:27,381 --> 00:42:29,758
We'll have enough spit for a six-pack.
563
00:42:33,011 --> 00:42:35,973
- Yeah, baby, you did me proud, son.
- Thanks, J. Lo.
564
00:42:36,056 --> 00:42:37,516
It's cool. Big O?
565
00:42:37,891 --> 00:42:40,894
Quite a little show you put on
yesterday, Stifler.
566
00:42:41,061 --> 00:42:43,897
You know,
these plebes think you're some kind of hero.
567
00:42:43,981 --> 00:42:46,233
I don't know what a plebe is, Vande-creep.
568
00:42:46,316 --> 00:42:49,528
Didn't anybody tell you not to mess
with the big dog while he's eating?
569
00:42:49,611 --> 00:42:52,364
It's mine, jerk-wad.
Now will you give it back?
570
00:42:53,824 --> 00:42:57,077
- Dildos.
- This is still my camp, asshole.
571
00:42:57,327 --> 00:42:59,872
- You're going down.
- No, I'm not.
572
00:42:59,955 --> 00:43:01,081
But your mum did last night.
573
00:43:01,164 --> 00:43:04,501
Did she play the trumpet?
Because she has really strong lips.
574
00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:06,044
That's right.
575
00:43:21,727 --> 00:43:22,895
Yummy.
576
00:43:26,648 --> 00:43:28,650
That's what I'm talking about.
577
00:43:29,818 --> 00:43:32,779
- What happened this time, Claire?
- Well, I was working on my solo...
578
00:43:32,863 --> 00:43:34,323
and I hurt myself.
579
00:43:35,199 --> 00:43:37,034
I've been fucking poisoned.
580
00:43:38,327 --> 00:43:41,038
Ipecac is a natural herbal extract...
581
00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:44,166
that triggers the regurgitation reflex.
582
00:43:48,504 --> 00:43:51,215
Whatever's in there
should be out soon enough.
583
00:43:51,507 --> 00:43:53,258
Like him, if we're lucky.
584
00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:58,889
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's probably just something...
585
00:43:59,223 --> 00:44:03,602
you had for lunch, you know? I've got
the same problem. Very sensitive stomach.
586
00:44:04,228 --> 00:44:07,648
I was at a banquet once.
On the same plate, if you can believe it...
587
00:44:07,731 --> 00:44:12,945
they had creamed venison, squid fritters,
and jellied pork.
588
00:44:18,575 --> 00:44:19,701
What?
589
00:44:30,921 --> 00:44:33,632
- Hey, what's up, crust bucket?
- Come here, dude. Check this out.
590
00:44:33,715 --> 00:44:37,386
So, this afternoon, while the counselors
were practicing for the talent show...
591
00:44:37,469 --> 00:44:40,055
I faked an asthma attack,
and I changed both of the cameras.
592
00:44:40,138 --> 00:44:42,808
It's their talent show routine, au naturel.
593
00:44:43,183 --> 00:44:45,894
Dude, you filthy little cyberfucker. Shit.
594
00:44:46,728 --> 00:44:51,233
- Hey, I thought we were just going to watch.
- Exactly, we may want to watch it again.
595
00:44:56,530 --> 00:45:01,410
Hey, so, I took your advice about Chloe.
I used the Rover to deliver a soda.
596
00:45:01,994 --> 00:45:05,831
- That was your cool, crazy idea?
- Yeah, I think she actually liked it.
597
00:45:05,914 --> 00:45:08,959
- Yeah, that sounds gay.
- It's not gay.
598
00:45:10,502 --> 00:45:13,380
Anyway, there's
this bonfire-slushee party tonight...
599
00:45:13,463 --> 00:45:16,717
and I really need to know Step Two
in the Stiffmeister plan.
600
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:20,387
Slushee party. Really.
601
00:45:20,721 --> 00:45:22,306
Special delivery.
602
00:45:22,431 --> 00:45:24,183
Prepare to jam with the bearded clam.
603
00:45:25,434 --> 00:45:27,019
Get ready to cuddle the love puddle.
604
00:45:27,102 --> 00:45:30,439
The time has come for Dr. Robot to get laid.
605
00:45:30,647 --> 00:45:31,732
Get laid?
606
00:45:31,899 --> 00:45:34,568
I told you, trust the Stiffmeister.
607
00:45:34,818 --> 00:45:37,571
Meister means "master" in German.
608
00:45:38,488 --> 00:45:42,826
Get her drunk? That's the secret
of the ages? That's Step Number Two?
609
00:45:42,910 --> 00:45:47,873
No, actually, it's Step Four. You don't have
the balls for Two or the tongue for Three.
610
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,541
I've got the balls.
611
00:45:50,083 --> 00:45:52,628
Hey, you haven't heard Step Five yet.
612
00:45:56,423 --> 00:46:00,093
Born to be wild
613
00:46:03,764 --> 00:46:07,434
Well, I'm hot blooded
Check it and see
614
00:46:07,809 --> 00:46:11,605
I've got a fever of 103
615
00:46:11,688 --> 00:46:14,483
Come on baby
Do you do more than dance?
616
00:46:16,276 --> 00:46:19,071
- This is some good shit.
- Don't enjoy it too much.
617
00:46:19,154 --> 00:46:22,616
- We have a big practice tomorrow, you guys.
- Relax, Leesy.
618
00:46:23,033 --> 00:46:26,245
Suckle the tender fruits
of Band Camp with your friends.
619
00:46:26,370 --> 00:46:30,165
Come on, Elyse. Cut loose a little bit.
Have some fun.
620
00:46:30,249 --> 00:46:31,583
I am having fun.
621
00:46:31,667 --> 00:46:34,670
Hey, horn dog, let's go get
some more of these before they run out.
622
00:46:34,753 --> 00:46:37,172
- All right.
- Horn dog?
623
00:46:37,256 --> 00:46:41,802
Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick
his dick into anything. It's unnatural.
624
00:46:42,803 --> 00:46:46,682
Check it, dawg. This one time
at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe.
625
00:46:47,724 --> 00:46:50,102
- Really?
- Blow in it for a while...
626
00:46:50,185 --> 00:46:54,815
get that wood nice and warm,
slap on some valve oil and go to town, yo.
627
00:46:55,023 --> 00:46:57,192
Hey, maybe you should try a flute.
628
00:47:01,822 --> 00:47:04,324
Now's a good time
to teach you those moves.
629
00:47:04,408 --> 00:47:05,450
Really?
630
00:47:11,081 --> 00:47:12,249
What?
631
00:47:26,722 --> 00:47:28,098
I know what you're doing.
632
00:47:28,182 --> 00:47:32,311
- You do?
- It's what you always do. You're a fake.
633
00:47:32,561 --> 00:47:35,689
You do whatever it takes
to be the centre of attention.
634
00:47:35,772 --> 00:47:39,651
Just like when we were kids,
around me, you were regular old Matt...
635
00:47:39,985 --> 00:47:43,363
but around Steve and his friends,
you were the Stiffmeister.
636
00:47:44,489 --> 00:47:46,158
Who're you going to be tonight?
637
00:47:46,241 --> 00:47:47,868
Hey, cheese dick...
638
00:47:47,951 --> 00:47:52,414
why don't you quit being such a fucking
taint licker, and get me another slushee.
639
00:47:52,497 --> 00:47:54,458
Fucking puss monkey.
640
00:48:02,299 --> 00:48:04,885
You know what?
I am going to have some fun.
641
00:48:12,893 --> 00:48:16,021
Fucking hoes, man. I don't get that shit.
642
00:48:16,104 --> 00:48:20,025
I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods
tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree.
643
00:48:20,108 --> 00:48:22,903
- What's up with that?
- That cock spring is getting laid?
644
00:48:22,986 --> 00:48:25,989
True that. And here we are,
the two dopest homeboys in camp...
645
00:48:26,073 --> 00:48:30,369
and we ain't got no prospects
for our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg.
646
00:48:30,744 --> 00:48:32,788
Dude, I gotta see this.
647
00:48:36,416 --> 00:48:38,335
Use your hips more.
Hips, like that?
648
00:48:38,418 --> 00:48:42,339
Yeah, now faster. Yeah. Like that.
A circle. Like that.
649
00:48:42,422 --> 00:48:46,593
Crikey! The
alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate.
650
00:48:46,677 --> 00:48:49,304
Will he survive this dangerous encounter...
651
00:48:49,555 --> 00:48:53,976
or will she satisfy her primal needs
and then devour him for dinner?
652
00:48:54,268 --> 00:48:55,894
Stay tuned.
653
00:48:56,311 --> 00:49:00,190
I'm sorry. I'm really no good
at this stuff.
654
00:49:00,274 --> 00:49:02,359
Relax. You're doing fine.
655
00:49:05,737 --> 00:49:07,239
This sucks.
656
00:49:07,573 --> 00:49:10,117
How's that feel? Oscar.
657
00:49:10,701 --> 00:49:12,870
Is that your drumstick poking me?
658
00:49:14,037 --> 00:49:15,998
I don't have my drumsticks.
659
00:49:16,081 --> 00:49:18,876
Are you standing up for me again, Oscar?
660
00:49:19,418 --> 00:49:21,128
It's getting hot.
661
00:49:21,420 --> 00:49:24,339
Smack my ass and call me cowboy.
662
00:49:25,132 --> 00:49:27,342
Hello, Double-D Sheree.
663
00:49:27,801 --> 00:49:29,553
Hips. Hips.
664
00:49:29,803 --> 00:49:31,471
- Use your hips.
- Oh, yeah, hips.
665
00:49:31,555 --> 00:49:33,390
And step, and...
666
00:49:36,602 --> 00:49:37,728
Who knew?
667
00:49:38,770 --> 00:49:40,147
Wow.
668
00:49:43,108 --> 00:49:45,527
Yo, we at Tall Oaks
Sipping on juice
669
00:49:45,611 --> 00:49:47,905
Got horns, trumpets
Rhythm and flutes
670
00:49:47,988 --> 00:49:50,324
Great Falls laying it down
671
00:49:50,407 --> 00:49:52,951
Gonna ride fucking Beechwood
out of the town
672
00:49:53,035 --> 00:49:55,412
J.C., what, rocking the bunch
673
00:49:55,495 --> 00:49:58,582
All tripped out on the fucking fruit punch
674
00:50:02,002 --> 00:50:05,380
- I just want to be respectful.
- Oh, that's sweet.
675
00:50:05,631 --> 00:50:08,175
The only person who's gonna get laid
around here.
676
00:50:17,351 --> 00:50:19,394
Hello, oboe.
677
00:50:36,286 --> 00:50:38,038
This is so cool.
678
00:50:39,581 --> 00:50:43,919
I hope I didn't scare you
with the Rover and the soda.
679
00:50:44,044 --> 00:50:46,213
No, man, it was cute.
680
00:50:46,922 --> 00:50:50,509
Nobody's ever been that sweet to me
in my whole life.
681
00:50:51,093 --> 00:50:52,678
Plus, to be honest...
682
00:50:53,095 --> 00:50:56,223
metal really turns me on.
683
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,169
Man, the shit's stuck.
684
00:51:49,693 --> 00:51:52,154
- Turn off the lights.
- Damn, gangsta.
685
00:51:52,279 --> 00:51:54,948
- I was just fucking with you, dawg!
- You... It's stuck.
686
00:51:55,032 --> 00:51:57,451
- Shit, you want help?
- Don't touch me.
687
00:51:58,994 --> 00:52:00,078
Come on.
688
00:52:00,829 --> 00:52:02,414
Maybe you should blow on it.
689
00:52:02,497 --> 00:52:04,208
Maybe you should blow on it
and I'll pull.
690
00:52:04,291 --> 00:52:06,460
Hell, no. Jimmy ain't putting his lips
on that thing.
691
00:52:06,543 --> 00:52:08,003
Jimmy should be a team player.
692
00:52:08,086 --> 00:52:10,339
Try and relax, dawg.
Not so hard.
693
00:52:10,422 --> 00:52:12,007
Oh, my God!
694
00:52:18,972 --> 00:52:22,476
- I was just trying to help him get it off, yo.
- Dude, shut up.
695
00:52:22,559 --> 00:52:23,685
Whatever.
696
00:52:23,769 --> 00:52:25,812
He had an allergic reaction to the valve oil.
697
00:52:25,896 --> 00:52:28,565
The swelling should go down
in a few minutes.
698
00:52:28,815 --> 00:52:32,945
These kinds of things would never happen
with our old Macro.
699
00:52:53,966 --> 00:52:56,802
We didn't have MTV when I was growing up.
700
00:52:58,136 --> 00:53:00,722
So maybe it's the over-stimulated times...
701
00:53:00,806 --> 00:53:04,935
that we live in
that causes young men to stick their...
702
00:53:05,644 --> 00:53:08,522
instruments in such odd places.
703
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,025
I knew a certain young man once...
704
00:53:12,109 --> 00:53:15,404
who actually engaged in sexual congress
with an apple pie.
705
00:53:15,571 --> 00:53:17,447
And he turned out just fine.
706
00:53:17,990 --> 00:53:20,909
So, you're perfectly normal...
707
00:53:22,035 --> 00:53:23,620
as these things go.
708
00:53:41,972 --> 00:53:45,100
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.
709
00:53:45,184 --> 00:53:49,688
I'm so drunk right now.
I'm probably going to forget about you...
710
00:53:51,148 --> 00:53:53,233
porking an oboe.
711
00:54:02,326 --> 00:54:04,077
I have six piercings.
712
00:54:05,537 --> 00:54:08,081
That doesn't include the ones on my face.
713
00:54:21,595 --> 00:54:23,013
Two right here...
714
00:54:25,390 --> 00:54:28,435
and four down here.
715
00:54:40,155 --> 00:54:42,115
Haven't seen that in a while.
716
00:54:42,491 --> 00:54:47,538
Yeah, well, no time for dance.
It's all about band, band, band.
717
00:54:47,621 --> 00:54:49,623
No, I was talking about you having fun.
718
00:54:49,706 --> 00:54:53,252
- I have fun. I have fun all the time.
- Yeah.
719
00:54:53,335 --> 00:54:56,046
I just get stressed out, you know. I mean...
720
00:54:56,713 --> 00:54:58,924
we graduate next year, and I don't know.
721
00:54:59,007 --> 00:55:01,051
I mean, I don't really talk about it
all that much...
722
00:55:01,134 --> 00:55:04,096
because the cup is, like,
a team thing, and...
723
00:55:04,179 --> 00:55:07,307
But winning the Robards Scholarship,
I mean, that is like...
724
00:55:07,391 --> 00:55:09,101
my future, you know? And...
725
00:55:10,060 --> 00:55:12,896
Dr. Choi is coming. I mean...
726
00:55:13,063 --> 00:55:16,525
you don't understand. She's like famous...
727
00:55:16,984 --> 00:55:19,987
like holy-shit famous.
And, sometimes, I just...
728
00:55:21,029 --> 00:55:22,739
I get really stressed out...
729
00:55:22,823 --> 00:55:26,660
and I calm myself down
by going off and playing on my Picardo.
730
00:55:27,369 --> 00:55:30,080
Wait, you have... Picardo?
731
00:55:30,247 --> 00:55:32,833
It's just a cheapie, but I lost it.
732
00:55:33,166 --> 00:55:36,378
- Wait, if I somehow found this Picard thing...
- You found it?
733
00:55:36,628 --> 00:55:38,547
- Maybe.
- Give it back.
734
00:55:38,839 --> 00:55:40,382
If you let me watch.
735
00:55:41,341 --> 00:55:44,386
Okay, but it takes me a while to warm up.
736
00:55:44,469 --> 00:55:46,930
I have all the time in the world.
737
00:55:49,516 --> 00:55:50,601
Figures.
738
00:55:52,477 --> 00:55:55,063
But I'm going to have to be really drunk.
739
00:55:55,939 --> 00:55:59,276
I mean really drunk. Really drunk.
740
00:56:00,194 --> 00:56:01,236
Yes.
741
00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:03,322
Beat it, jerk off.
742
00:56:22,424 --> 00:56:24,760
Okay, people, let's take a break.
743
00:56:28,180 --> 00:56:30,307
We're all a little sluggish today.
744
00:56:32,100 --> 00:56:33,727
Man, we suck.
745
00:56:33,810 --> 00:56:37,356
Man, one night of fun was not worth
losing a whole day of practice.
746
00:56:41,068 --> 00:56:42,569
Give me this thing.
747
00:56:43,362 --> 00:56:45,948
All right, listen up,
you lazy bunch of lip shits.
748
00:56:46,031 --> 00:56:47,991
Those Beechwood plebes
aren't taking breaks.
749
00:56:48,075 --> 00:56:50,994
We want to win this thing,
we've gotta bust our asses.
750
00:56:51,328 --> 00:56:53,455
Come on, bitches. Back to work.
751
00:56:53,539 --> 00:56:56,333
- Matt, that's my job.
- Grab your cocks and move your socks.
752
00:56:56,416 --> 00:56:58,544
We're at war here, people, war!
753
00:56:58,627 --> 00:57:02,005
Show some tits. Grow some balls.
Hey, keep that thing warm for me.
754
00:57:02,089 --> 00:57:06,218
All right, now. What, you want to let
Beechwood tittie-fuck us? I didn't think so.
755
00:57:06,301 --> 00:57:07,636
All right, Tall Oakers...
756
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,764
we're in our final week.
Time to put on our game faces.
757
00:57:10,848 --> 00:57:14,017
And time to strap yourselves in
for a bumpy ride.
758
00:57:14,101 --> 00:57:16,061
I want the oboe, clarinet, black thingies...
759
00:57:16,144 --> 00:57:18,939
and we've got the rhythm section
in a full-on blitz.
760
00:57:19,022 --> 00:57:21,191
- Are you with me, bandees?
- Yeah!
761
00:57:21,275 --> 00:57:24,069
Competition for the Tall Oaks Cup
is really heating up.
762
00:57:27,739 --> 00:57:29,241
Beechwood wins.
763
00:57:31,451 --> 00:57:32,494
Whatever.
764
00:57:32,578 --> 00:57:33,912
I told you, you should let me steer.
765
00:57:33,996 --> 00:57:35,664
Take that bitch home, man.
766
00:57:36,039 --> 00:57:40,419
Drive it in. Hey, you, fuck face,
I don't even know where to start with you.
767
00:57:47,259 --> 00:57:50,888
Beechwood leads.
Great Falls and Lloyd are tied for second.
768
00:57:50,971 --> 00:57:53,056
Beechwood licks nuts. Hut!
769
00:58:01,607 --> 00:58:03,859
Victory, East Great Falls.
770
00:58:07,237 --> 00:58:09,364
Right foot on line.
771
00:58:11,116 --> 00:58:13,160
Jimmy, you fucking lotion lover.
772
00:58:20,334 --> 00:58:22,961
East Great Falls by four points.
773
00:58:32,596 --> 00:58:34,431
Hey, butt pirates ahoy.
774
00:58:35,349 --> 00:58:38,852
Your little band
may be leading in the competition, Stifler...
775
00:58:40,270 --> 00:58:42,898
but make sure to let us know
if you get thirsty.
776
00:58:42,981 --> 00:58:45,234
Yeah, 'cause there's plenty of this.
777
00:58:50,572 --> 00:58:54,535
That's funny for you dorks.
Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.
778
00:58:54,743 --> 00:58:57,371
Man, screw that challenge.
I'm just gonna kick his ass.
779
00:58:57,454 --> 00:58:59,623
No, wait. I've got a better idea...
780
00:59:00,541 --> 00:59:02,584
if you think you're man enough.
781
00:59:14,638 --> 00:59:15,681
Yes.
782
00:59:15,764 --> 00:59:18,934
- Hey, you sure you can do this?
- Hey, born to be a porn star, baby.
783
00:59:19,017 --> 00:59:20,519
Delivery on demand.
784
00:59:21,603 --> 00:59:24,648
When I get back,
I'll be a million Stiflers lighter.
785
00:59:44,751 --> 00:59:46,795
Brandon, I think you're
a really good drummer, so...
786
00:59:46,879 --> 00:59:47,963
Excuse me.
787
01:00:00,225 --> 01:00:01,560
Hey, guys...
788
01:00:01,643 --> 01:00:05,397
don't forget your sunscreen.
Your bodies are your instruments.
789
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:07,566
Yeah, you don't want to be
chapped for your solos.
790
01:00:07,649 --> 01:00:09,985
No, we don't. Bye now.
791
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,492
What is that, 30? It's really thick.
792
01:00:27,836 --> 01:00:29,755
How's that taste, Vande-cock?
793
01:00:30,339 --> 01:00:32,591
Good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah.
794
01:00:32,674 --> 01:00:36,470
It's a cum-pletely new formula.
100% Stiffy juice...
795
01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:38,680
S.P.F. 69.
796
01:00:45,437 --> 01:00:46,688
Suck on that.
797
01:00:47,814 --> 01:00:49,441
- Yeah.
- Stop, man.
798
01:00:49,525 --> 01:00:51,235
- Yeah.
- Ernie.
799
01:00:51,318 --> 01:00:52,653
- Yeah.
- Ernie.
800
01:01:02,037 --> 01:01:04,665
What you had before
was way better than this.
801
01:01:04,748 --> 01:01:08,794
This sounds like
your overactive honor-society brain.
802
01:01:09,253 --> 01:01:13,048
Instead of your nasty, wet...
803
01:01:13,882 --> 01:01:15,384
dirty-girl panties.
804
01:01:16,301 --> 01:01:18,303
It should be more spontaneous.
805
01:01:21,265 --> 01:01:22,599
Stop.
806
01:01:22,683 --> 01:01:25,519
Maybe you should hang out
with your friend Matt a little bit more.
807
01:01:25,602 --> 01:01:26,645
Yeah, right.
808
01:01:26,728 --> 01:01:30,315
I know he's a dick and everything,
but he's also got one.
809
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:34,695
Make some love music, you know?
And then your notes will just cum to you.
810
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:38,532
- Oh, Matt!
- Stop.
811
01:01:38,740 --> 01:01:40,242
Matt. Matt.
812
01:01:43,453 --> 01:01:45,914
Go long, you asshole. Go.
813
01:01:46,707 --> 01:01:48,584
Hey, Elyse.
814
01:01:49,835 --> 01:01:51,795
Throw it back. Come on.
815
01:01:52,588 --> 01:01:54,047
What you got?
816
01:02:01,722 --> 01:02:03,098
Missed. Sorry.
817
01:02:04,725 --> 01:02:06,435
Hey, if I have to ring the triangle...
818
01:02:06,518 --> 01:02:08,437
- you have to throw the football, all right?
- Okay.
819
01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:10,397
Draw your arm back. There you go.
820
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:14,234
Shoulder to your target. Right.
Okay, now step forward.
821
01:02:14,318 --> 01:02:16,737
Come on we're not marching. One foot.
822
01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:19,698
- Okay.
- You're fine. Ready? There you go.
823
01:02:19,948 --> 01:02:21,325
Draw the ball over your ear...
824
01:02:21,408 --> 01:02:24,578
and when you throw it, let it roll
right off your fingers, all right?
825
01:02:25,787 --> 01:02:26,914
Okay.
826
01:02:27,247 --> 01:02:28,707
Come on, throw it.
827
01:02:34,630 --> 01:02:36,423
See? I taught you something. What?
828
01:02:36,507 --> 01:02:39,009
So every time I throw it,
you're gonna run and go get it?
829
01:02:39,092 --> 01:02:40,844
That's generally how it works.
830
01:02:40,928 --> 01:02:42,763
Like playing fetch with my dog.
831
01:02:42,846 --> 01:02:46,642
- Yeah, except I don't lick my own balls.
- You would if you could.
832
01:02:46,975 --> 01:02:48,018
Oh, yeah.
833
01:02:49,645 --> 01:02:50,812
Okay, again.
834
01:02:51,772 --> 01:02:52,981
Right here.
835
01:02:54,191 --> 01:02:56,818
Look, that one looks like a bunny.
836
01:02:57,152 --> 01:02:59,071
No, it doesn't.
837
01:03:00,405 --> 01:03:02,491
Maybe a bunny with one nut.
838
01:03:02,699 --> 01:03:05,452
- No, that's its tail.
- Whatever you say.
839
01:03:08,830 --> 01:03:11,917
- You think we'll win this thing?
- Hell, yeah, we will.
840
01:03:12,042 --> 01:03:16,338
- Lf you write in a bagpipe part.
- Oh, God, I'll never make that mistake again.
841
01:03:16,421 --> 01:03:19,466
- What?
- The eighth grade recital.
842
01:03:20,509 --> 01:03:22,970
You made me write in a part for you.
843
01:03:25,264 --> 01:03:27,224
You wore your kilt.
844
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:31,103
Yeah, Steve showed up with his friends.
845
01:03:31,728 --> 01:03:33,939
They gave me so much shit for that.
846
01:03:34,273 --> 01:03:36,650
I didn't come out of my room for days.
847
01:03:36,942 --> 01:03:40,153
You made it up to him
by stealing all my underwear...
848
01:03:40,237 --> 01:03:42,614
so you could run them up the flagpole.
849
01:03:43,574 --> 01:03:45,409
Including my training bras.
850
01:03:48,495 --> 01:03:51,123
Okay, since we're having
some big fucking Oprah moment here...
851
01:03:51,206 --> 01:03:53,250
I'm sorry about your underwear.
852
01:03:53,375 --> 01:03:55,002
And the diary.
853
01:03:57,754 --> 01:03:59,715
And all that other shit, too.
854
01:04:40,005 --> 01:04:41,131
That's it.
855
01:04:41,673 --> 01:04:44,551
- You started it.
- This is gonna get me that scholarship.
856
01:04:44,635 --> 01:04:45,677
What?
857
01:04:45,761 --> 01:04:48,430
I've got to go write this down
before I forget.
858
01:04:50,307 --> 01:04:51,683
Hey. Hey. Hey.
859
01:04:53,519 --> 01:04:55,562
Could we do this again tomorrow night?
860
01:04:55,646 --> 01:04:58,524
Yeah, sure. I'll see you here at sunset.
861
01:04:59,024 --> 01:05:00,359
Hey.
862
01:05:01,318 --> 01:05:03,779
Should I bring that Picardo thing?
863
01:05:03,862 --> 01:05:06,114
Okay, I'll do a solo for you.
864
01:05:16,291 --> 01:05:18,001
- What's up, Ernie?
- Hey.
865
01:05:37,020 --> 01:05:39,022
It was that fugly nurse again.
866
01:05:54,121 --> 01:05:55,956
Oh, my God.
867
01:05:56,039 --> 01:05:57,374
Matt Stifler?
868
01:05:58,125 --> 01:06:02,796
- Holy shit, look at you.
- Arrianna, what are you doing here?
869
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:06,216
We practice our routine with the band.
What are you doing here?
870
01:06:06,300 --> 01:06:08,719
I had to come. The school made me.
871
01:06:09,678 --> 01:06:13,098
- Does anybody know about this yet?
- Oh, they do now.
872
01:06:14,141 --> 01:06:17,311
Hey, come on, no pictures.
What're you, the papa-tit-zzy?
873
01:06:17,394 --> 01:06:19,146
- Holy shit, this is so hilarious.
- Smile.
874
01:06:19,229 --> 01:06:23,066
Ladies. No time for fraternizing.
875
01:06:24,067 --> 01:06:28,155
Get the bags.
Guess I'll see you around, bandee.
876
01:06:28,322 --> 01:06:32,576
What a dork.
I'm going to email this to everybody.
877
01:06:54,932 --> 01:06:57,726
Girls, that was great. Percussion, take five.
878
01:06:57,809 --> 01:06:59,561
Horns, we've got to work on intonation.
879
01:06:59,645 --> 01:07:02,272
The final performance is tomorrow,
you guys.
880
01:07:03,106 --> 01:07:04,942
They're so lame.
881
01:07:05,943 --> 01:07:08,320
You play the triangle. How cute.
882
01:07:09,154 --> 01:07:12,324
No, I don't. Look, I told you...
883
01:07:12,991 --> 01:07:14,326
- I had to...
- I gotta go.
884
01:07:14,409 --> 01:07:17,746
- I don't socialize with bandees.
- I'm not a fucking bandee.
885
01:07:18,121 --> 01:07:21,792
I'm not. Look.
I've just been acting like a geek.
886
01:07:22,084 --> 01:07:25,045
I've been playing them
so I could get them on hidden video.
887
01:07:25,128 --> 01:07:28,674
I've been secretly videotaping them
doing all this crazy shit.
888
01:07:29,633 --> 01:07:32,636
- Really?
- Yeah, I could show you.
889
01:07:35,264 --> 01:07:37,599
Okay, come by after dinner.
890
01:07:38,100 --> 01:07:40,727
I'll leave my pompoms
in the window for you.
891
01:08:14,219 --> 01:08:16,930
- You're late.
- Yeah, no shit. Open the window.
892
01:08:20,267 --> 01:08:22,186
Hold on. Be careful with it.
893
01:08:31,278 --> 01:08:34,531
All right, one condition
before I show you the fruits of my labors.
894
01:08:34,615 --> 01:08:35,824
What's that?
895
01:08:36,158 --> 01:08:38,994
I want that picture
on that camera phone erased.
896
01:08:50,631 --> 01:08:53,759
Nobody at school hears
about the triangle or the beanie.
897
01:08:53,842 --> 01:08:56,470
I don't want anybody
to think I'm a dorky-ass bandee.
898
01:08:56,553 --> 01:08:58,388
Fine. Like, now can we get on with it?
899
01:08:58,472 --> 01:09:01,934
As soon as you get rid of that picture
of me on your phone.
900
01:09:16,323 --> 01:09:19,159
Are you going into town?
Not tonight. I'm too tired.
901
01:09:19,243 --> 01:09:21,870
Besides, they're much hotter here.
902
01:09:21,954 --> 01:09:24,873
I know. It's a great crop this year.
903
01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:43,600
- There. Done deal.
- Now can we see the video?
904
01:09:44,476 --> 01:09:46,103
Stiffmeister Productions...
905
01:09:46,186 --> 01:09:49,773
in association with
its talented new director, Matthew Stifler...
906
01:09:49,857 --> 01:09:51,859
is happy to premier the unedited...
907
01:09:51,942 --> 01:09:56,405
unfiltered, and un-fucking-believable
Bandeez Gone Wild.
908
01:09:57,739 --> 01:09:58,907
Oh, yeah.
909
01:10:03,161 --> 01:10:06,999
- Oh, my God.
- That is unbelievable.
910
01:10:29,646 --> 01:10:31,982
- You're kidding me, right?
- That's great.
911
01:10:33,442 --> 01:10:36,612
Danielle likes Jimmy,
but she's like a foot taller than him.
912
01:10:36,695 --> 01:10:38,155
And wait till you hear this.
913
01:10:38,238 --> 01:10:40,824
Sheree slept with that big Oscar guy,
the drummer.
914
01:10:40,908 --> 01:10:42,409
Said he was amazing.
915
01:10:42,993 --> 01:10:46,205
I hooked up with Brandon once.
Some drummer. He has...
916
01:10:46,288 --> 01:10:48,123
no rhythm,
and he can't even bang very long.
917
01:10:48,290 --> 01:10:50,083
Oh, my God. Are you serious?
918
01:10:50,167 --> 01:10:54,338
Yeah, he's a preemie. I'm not talking
about the day he was born, either.
919
01:10:55,380 --> 01:10:58,133
Can you get my back?
I think I got a little bit of sun today?
920
01:10:58,217 --> 01:10:59,259
Sure.
921
01:10:59,468 --> 01:11:02,387
Get this. He has one ball.
922
01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:05,307
No way.
One ball.
923
01:11:06,433 --> 01:11:09,394
Yeah, that why he carries that big stick
around everywhere.
924
01:11:09,478 --> 01:11:11,522
It's got his other ball on top.
925
01:11:14,733 --> 01:11:16,527
Shit, shit, oh, shit.
926
01:11:19,571 --> 01:11:21,073
What is that thing?
927
01:11:35,128 --> 01:11:36,463
Let's kill it.
928
01:11:37,881 --> 01:11:39,091
- Where'd he go?
- There he is.
929
01:11:39,174 --> 01:11:40,300
Look out.
930
01:12:20,215 --> 01:12:22,134
This is going into the lake.
931
01:12:23,177 --> 01:12:25,679
No one's gonna know
about your little video.
932
01:12:25,762 --> 01:12:28,390
'Cause the shit you got us doing on tape...
933
01:12:33,437 --> 01:12:37,107
So we got a contest to win tomorrow.
And I don't want to see you.
934
01:12:37,482 --> 01:12:38,650
Understand?
935
01:12:44,781 --> 01:12:46,200
Did you help him?
936
01:13:11,183 --> 01:13:12,851
With East Great Falls
in the lead...
937
01:13:12,935 --> 01:13:15,687
Beechwood has to win
the Band Camp Playoffs.
938
01:13:15,812 --> 01:13:18,023
Direct yourselves to the marching field
in one hour.
939
01:13:19,483 --> 01:13:22,861
Now, Dr. Choi, Brandon Vandecamp
from Beechwood...
940
01:13:22,945 --> 01:13:25,239
is our best musician by far...
941
01:13:25,322 --> 01:13:30,327
and his father, Landon,
is our best donor, also by far.
942
01:13:31,245 --> 01:13:35,499
Robards needs talented musicians
as much as we need talented donors.
943
01:13:42,965 --> 01:13:44,299
Ipecac.
944
01:13:46,677 --> 01:13:49,888
- So how's it going? Are you having fun?
- It's okay.
945
01:13:55,310 --> 01:13:57,521
How about some Ipecac, Vande-cooch?
946
01:14:00,440 --> 01:14:04,319
This herbal fucking extract will help you
Beechwood fief play in tune, huh?
947
01:14:05,863 --> 01:14:06,905
Shit.
948
01:14:16,373 --> 01:14:18,792
I told you
I don't want to see you anymore, Stifler.
949
01:14:18,876 --> 01:14:21,044
Some day, you'll thank me, asshole.
950
01:14:25,841 --> 01:14:28,552
- Orange?
- Again?
951
01:14:29,094 --> 01:14:31,138
- Damn.
- That orange shit is janky.
952
01:14:31,221 --> 01:14:33,140
I'm feeling grape, dawg.
953
01:14:36,018 --> 01:14:39,980
I don't care how many times they
won. They're not getting the grape today.
954
01:14:40,063 --> 01:14:42,441
That's what I'm talking about.
955
01:14:44,109 --> 01:14:46,987
Your five-time defending
champion...
956
01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:49,448
Beechwood Academy.
957
01:15:21,522 --> 01:15:24,775
- They're tight.
- Yeah, they're better then ever this year.
958
01:15:24,858 --> 01:15:26,318
Okay, everybody.
959
01:15:26,818 --> 01:15:29,029
It's no surprise Beechwood is good.
960
01:15:29,404 --> 01:15:32,950
But this year is different.
This year, we can beat them.
961
01:15:33,867 --> 01:15:37,079
We've worked hard,
and we are good enough...
962
01:15:37,162 --> 01:15:39,748
and this is our time, so lets win the cup.
963
01:15:39,831 --> 01:15:41,834
Yeah!
964
01:16:16,743 --> 01:16:18,453
Beechwood Academy.
965
01:16:18,537 --> 01:16:22,082
Their music today was composed
by senior drum major...
966
01:16:22,165 --> 01:16:24,126
Brandon Vandecamp.
967
01:16:24,293 --> 01:16:25,419
Beat that.
968
01:16:28,380 --> 01:16:31,925
East Great Falls,
you may enter the field for competition.
969
01:16:49,234 --> 01:16:52,404
Band 10 hut. One, two, ready.
Shit.
970
01:16:52,487 --> 01:16:54,072
Leesy, wait, no.
971
01:16:54,156 --> 01:16:56,200
No. Wait.
972
01:17:06,502 --> 01:17:08,837
You know, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.
973
01:17:08,921 --> 01:17:11,089
Not my shoes. Here we go.
974
01:17:15,928 --> 01:17:17,012
Stifler!
975
01:17:34,863 --> 01:17:37,115
You know, you're like
your brother, Steve.
976
01:17:37,199 --> 01:17:40,827
And I don't think those are the shoes
you should be so eager to fill.
977
01:17:40,911 --> 01:17:43,997
You know, the people
Steve thought were his friends...
978
01:17:44,122 --> 01:17:46,750
- really didn't like him very much.
- What?
979
01:17:46,834 --> 01:17:48,293
But I think you're different.
980
01:17:48,377 --> 01:17:52,631
I think people want to like you, Matt.
You just make it really hard.
981
01:18:06,979 --> 01:18:10,858
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
When you're a loser.
982
01:18:17,406 --> 01:18:21,702
Mr. Levenstein reports
that there were a few incidents...
983
01:18:21,785 --> 01:18:23,078
at camp.
984
01:18:23,579 --> 01:18:26,081
But he also says that...
985
01:18:26,206 --> 01:18:29,960
you bonded with the band briefly.
986
01:18:34,006 --> 01:18:38,260
When school starts,
you're going to be on a very short leash.
987
01:18:38,468 --> 01:18:42,222
Remember, the Shermanator sees it all.
988
01:18:43,599 --> 01:18:44,892
Be gone.
989
01:18:49,813 --> 01:18:52,024
Did everybody hate my brother?
990
01:19:03,368 --> 01:19:06,997
Stardate: August 21, 2005.
991
01:19:07,581 --> 01:19:09,958
Some progress made with Stiffy Junior.
992
01:19:10,375 --> 01:19:12,836
Behavior modification evident.
993
01:19:14,296 --> 01:19:16,048
Will continue to monitor.
994
01:19:16,673 --> 01:19:18,926
Shermanator out.
995
01:19:30,062 --> 01:19:32,523
A little "Double-D Sheree" action.
996
01:19:37,110 --> 01:19:38,987
Little bit of Dr. Robot.
997
01:19:40,822 --> 01:19:42,324
Crazy fucker.
998
01:20:50,517 --> 01:20:51,852
Hey, Stifler, where's your instrument?
999
01:20:51,935 --> 01:20:53,145
Dude, you're in the wrong uniform.
1000
01:20:53,228 --> 01:20:56,023
Screw them, dude. They're gonna freak out
when they see the video.
1001
01:20:56,106 --> 01:20:58,317
Look, we thought that if we had
an advance screening...
1002
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:00,485
then everyone would see
that you're not really a dork.
1003
01:21:00,569 --> 01:21:02,946
I can't. It's gone.
1004
01:21:03,989 --> 01:21:07,159
- What?
- The video, man, I deleted it.
1005
01:21:08,160 --> 01:21:09,203
Why?
1006
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:12,789
Guess little bro's quitting
the family business.
1007
01:21:12,873 --> 01:21:14,374
Are you kidding me?
1008
01:21:17,920 --> 01:21:19,838
He went fucking bandee on us.
1009
01:21:36,230 --> 01:21:37,773
Hey, what's up, guys?
1010
01:21:38,565 --> 01:21:40,526
You a dead man, motherfucker.
1011
01:21:41,318 --> 01:21:43,320
- You, too, little man.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1012
01:21:43,654 --> 01:21:47,533
Dude, the purple puke was an accident.
Somebody switched the coolers.
1013
01:21:52,246 --> 01:21:54,456
Hey, that orange shit is janky, yo.
1014
01:21:55,165 --> 01:22:00,003
Chloe, we never saw Elyse,
you know, naked.
1015
01:22:00,754 --> 01:22:02,714
Matt turned off the computer.
1016
01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,176
So we're just supposed to forgive him now?
1017
01:22:07,261 --> 01:22:09,972
- He's still an asshole.
- You're right.
1018
01:22:10,973 --> 01:22:12,307
I am an asshole.
1019
01:22:12,724 --> 01:22:14,977
I can't take back spying on you...
1020
01:22:15,060 --> 01:22:17,437
and I can't win that Bandee Cup thing.
1021
01:22:17,563 --> 01:22:20,440
But I can help someone
get what she deserves.
1022
01:22:21,275 --> 01:22:23,443
I'm not asking you to forgive me.
1023
01:22:23,652 --> 01:22:26,238
Just help me help Elyse.
1024
01:22:37,165 --> 01:22:39,626
- I got the number.
- Go ahead.
1025
01:22:39,710 --> 01:22:43,255
555-0171.
1026
01:22:45,257 --> 01:22:48,010
He shouldn't have been dumping Ipecac
in anyone's cooler.
1027
01:22:48,093 --> 01:22:49,928
We could've won on our own.
1028
01:22:52,222 --> 01:22:56,518
I don't even care that he saw me on camera.
Well, I mean I do, but...
1029
01:22:57,603 --> 01:22:59,855
Honey, this just came for you.
1030
01:23:03,609 --> 01:23:05,068
It's from Robards.
1031
01:23:06,528 --> 01:23:07,821
What's it say?
1032
01:23:09,573 --> 01:23:12,159
Dr. Choi wants to meet with me?
1033
01:23:30,010 --> 01:23:32,012
- Okay.
- Okay.
1034
01:23:32,221 --> 01:23:34,139
- Okay.
- Okay.
1035
01:23:35,807 --> 01:23:36,892
Bye.
1036
01:23:53,116 --> 01:23:55,536
Hi. Elyse Houston.
1037
01:23:56,745 --> 01:23:59,498
I have an appointment with Dr. Choi.
1038
01:24:00,582 --> 01:24:04,169
- You're not in the book.
- No, there must be some mistake. See...
1039
01:24:06,129 --> 01:24:07,506
I have a letter.
1040
01:24:13,011 --> 01:24:14,888
This letter is, well...
1041
01:24:15,681 --> 01:24:16,890
It's a fake.
1042
01:24:17,391 --> 01:24:20,310
- This is not Dr. Choi's signature.
- What?
1043
01:24:33,532 --> 01:24:34,658
Stifler.
1044
01:24:38,453 --> 01:24:40,706
You son of a bitch.
1045
01:24:42,374 --> 01:24:46,753
What? It wasn't enough
for you to humiliate me at Band Camp?
1046
01:24:46,837 --> 01:24:49,506
Now you have to set me up here?
1047
01:25:09,943 --> 01:25:11,653
What's going on here?
1048
01:25:13,113 --> 01:25:14,573
This is my band.
1049
01:25:15,032 --> 01:25:16,909
And that's her music.
1050
01:26:15,217 --> 01:26:16,260
Well...
1051
01:26:16,844 --> 01:26:20,556
I've certainly seen some interesting attempts
to gain admission...
1052
01:26:21,223 --> 01:26:22,850
but this is a first.
1053
01:26:24,393 --> 01:26:28,605
Excellent audition, Miss. Houston.
Let's go discuss that scholarship.
1054
01:26:30,065 --> 01:26:31,567
I thought Brandon won.
1055
01:26:31,650 --> 01:26:34,987
No, Mr. Vandecamp
was disqualified for plagiarism.
1056
01:26:35,070 --> 01:26:36,196
All right.
1057
01:26:38,407 --> 01:26:40,450
That's what I'm talking about, yo.
1058
01:26:44,621 --> 01:26:46,999
Oh, my God, you guys, that was amazing.
1059
01:26:47,583 --> 01:26:51,628
- Thank you so much.
- Thank him. It was his idea.
1060
01:26:51,712 --> 01:26:52,754
Word.
1061
01:26:55,549 --> 01:26:59,178
- You planned all this?
- With some friends.
1062
01:27:02,097 --> 01:27:03,390
Come here.
1063
01:27:08,020 --> 01:27:10,397
Oh, I believe this is yours.
1064
01:27:11,815 --> 01:27:12,983
You know...
1065
01:27:13,692 --> 01:27:17,738
Picardo is a brand of piccolo.
1066
01:27:18,697 --> 01:27:21,033
You really are an asshole sometimes...
1067
01:27:21,450 --> 01:27:22,492
Stiffy.
1068
01:27:32,000 --> 01:30:20,999
300MB UNiTED TEAM - sunmenghao
300mbunited.com | rapidpremium.net
1069
01:30:43,819 --> 01:30:45,612
Man, change the channel, yo.
1070
01:30:45,821 --> 01:30:48,866
Hook a brother up with some mad beats.
1071
01:30:49,116 --> 01:30:50,784
Will you cut that out?
1072
01:30:51,285 --> 01:30:53,412
Your name is James Hi Ping Chong.
1073
01:30:53,537 --> 01:30:55,205
Your dad owns a Chinese restaurant.
1074
01:30:55,289 --> 01:30:57,916
You live in the suburbs.
You ain't never gonna be a gangsta.
1075
01:30:58,542 --> 01:30:59,585
Damn!
1076
01:31:02,254 --> 01:31:03,380
That's cold, dawg.
1077
01:31:03,405 --> 01:31:13,605
->More Movies<-
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1078
01:31:14,305 --> 01:31:20,496
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to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
1078
01:31:21,305 --> 01:31:27,208
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