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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,037 [flight attendant] Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to direct 2 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,072 your attention to the screen in front of you. 3 00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:09,608 We'll be showing a brief safety demonstration. 4 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,678 While boarding the flight please keep the aisle clear 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,080 -and find your designated seat. -[man screaming] Argh! 6 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,316 In the event of a water landing Chloe Bridges lips 7 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:20,119 can be used as a flotation device. 8 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,621 Please enjoy one complementary drink. 9 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,126 Please store your carry on in one of 10 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,761 the overhead compartments. 11 00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:31,030 If you need to flee the aircraft beware of sharp objects 12 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,632 as they can puncture the evacuation slide. 13 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,534 We ask that all seat backs and titty tassels 14 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,503 are in their full upright positions. 15 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,372 If you have to smoke, please disable the lavatory smoke detectors 16 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,474 so as not to wake the other passengers. 17 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,378 The flight attendants will now demonstrate proper safety procedures. 18 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,580 Pull the cord to inflate the safety chest . 19 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:51,750 As a reminder racial profiling is strictly tolerated, 20 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,686 please report any suspicious ethnicity. 21 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:58,424 If you do not have a selfie stick, one will be provided for you. 22 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,793 Please keep your seat belts fastened at all times 23 00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:04,096 as we may experience unexpected flatulence. 24 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,632 As a reminder there is no crying allowed on this flight, 25 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:11,403 please silence your baby at this time or it will be checked to your final destination. 26 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,073 [upbeat music] 27 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:19,678 Thank you for choosing Koalair, koality you can trust. 28 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,182 At this time your portable electronic devices must be set... 29 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,450 [distorted voice] ...to airplane mode. 30 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,387 [upbeat electronic music] 31 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,730 [explosions] 32 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,368 [woman on computer] You're on the other side of the world, 33 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,237 how can we possibly make this work? 34 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,538 Let's just make things simple 35 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,440 like when we first met on Chatroulette. 36 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,476 When we first connected, fell in love, 37 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,845 and the sparks flew when I asked you those deep, 38 00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:55,747 personal questions like, what were those? Oh yeah, 39 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,117 -age, sex, location? -Yeah. 40 00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:01,220 Hey Logan, I'm ready to take this to the next level. 41 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,188 [Logan panting] 42 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,457 [Logan] Oh yes, here we go. 43 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:09,828 Come on, old friend. 44 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,797 Who are you talking to? 45 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,665 Just a second freshening up. [chuckles] 46 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:21,173 Okay, okay, babe, now these are for your eyes only. 47 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,842 Yeah, don't worry babe, it's just me. 48 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,811 -[chiming sounds] -[bird shrieks] 49 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,447 [music] 50 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,215 -[music stops abruptly] -Do you have any almond milk? 51 00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,617 [Logan and Ariel screaming] 52 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,719 Uh... you were jerking off. 53 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:37,523 Come on man! You shouldn't just burst into people's rooms like that. 54 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,391 And you shouldn't be jerking off in the middle of the day 55 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,894 with your door unlocked and all your friends downstairs. 56 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:44,263 Now, do you have almond milk or not? 57 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,499 [Logan] Come on man, it's next to my socks, you know that. 58 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,767 [Juanpa] Yo we're drinking up. 59 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,404 [door closes] 60 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:53,772 [Logan] Sorry about that babe. 61 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,741 [Logan grunting] Okay. 62 00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,645 -Who was that? -[chuckling] Oh. 63 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:02,314 That would be Juanpa, my foreign exchange brother 64 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,416 who's overstayed his welcome by a decade! 65 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,186 What about your real brother, Jake? 66 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,453 [Logan chuckles] Oh. 67 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,889 Disney got him. Okay. 68 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:14,459 -Argh. The moment's ruined babe, don't you think? -No, no babe, um-- 69 00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,562 Okay, just, okay-- How about this? Take a deep breath. 70 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,830 Asasasa! 71 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,767 Okay close your eyes, close your eyes, that's right okay. Now-- 72 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:26,471 Imagine our second date, remember all the sexy shit I was typing to you? 73 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:28,373 I sent you that sexy picture with the pineapple 74 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,210 over my penis and I blamed it on auto correct. 75 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,278 -[Ariel] Yeah. -It wasn't auto correct. 76 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,380 -I said it. -Okay, okay. 77 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:40,285 My turn, imagine we're together... alone. 78 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,955 I'm standing right next to you. 79 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,857 you can feel my body on yours 80 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:49,261 -and I whisper in your ear-- -Smile, you're on camera! 81 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,263 -[Ariel screaming] -[Logan] Lele, what the actual fuck? 82 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,865 -[bird shrieks] -This is gonna be the best video ever! 83 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,334 Delete that now! 84 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,868 No, it's gonna get a million likes. 85 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,303 It's not all about likes you know. 86 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:00,572 What, are you fucking stupid? 87 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,893 [Lele screams] 88 00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:05,544 -[Lele screaming and puffing] -[Logan grunting] 89 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,446 -[shatters] -[both screaming] 90 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:12,351 [shouting] 91 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,785 [both screaming] 92 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,454 [Logan panting] 93 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:18,323 Delete, delete, delete it, Lele, delete it! 94 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,992 Logan, are you all right? 95 00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,460 [Lele shouting] 96 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,263 -[clattering] -[Logan grunting] 97 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,932 [both screaming] 98 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:31,436 -Suck it, bitch! -[Logan screaming] 99 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,573 -[Logan groans] -[Lele panting and grunting] 100 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,375 [rock music] 101 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:37,809 [bird wings flapping] 102 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,745 -[crunches] -[screams] 103 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,648 -Delete. -I hate you! 104 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,050 -I hate you. -You're girlfriend's a computer! 105 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,386 -Jesus. -[Lele screams] 106 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,388 -Oh my god. -[bird chirps] 107 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,624 -[door slams] -[gasping] Thanks buddy. 108 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,961 [Logan panting] Sorry about that, babe. 109 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,964 [sighs] Oh man can't get any privacy around here. 110 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,634 -Okay. -Hey Logan, you seen the email? 111 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,870 -What! Ow! Ah! -[clatters] 112 00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:09,441 -[scoffs] I'll talk to you later, Logan. -No, no, no, no, no. 113 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,911 Fuck, man. I was getting somewhere. 114 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:15,781 Bro what are you-- what are you in here doing man, I worry about you. 115 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,517 That's not your girlfriend, she's not a real girlfriend, 116 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,419 she's a computer girlfriend. 117 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,754 Huge difference, real girlfriend, ump-ump 118 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,057 computer girlfriend, eh-eh-eh, you know what I'm saying? 119 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,992 -Yeah. -And I hate to break it down 120 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,727 but your girlfriend probably got a dick. 121 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,430 This convention is gonna be the fucking tits! 122 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,831 [chuckles] What convention? 123 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,833 You didn't hear about #acon? 124 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,402 Bro it's the biggest social media convention ever. 125 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:41,640 -[whizzing sound] -Yeah man, #acon. Everyone's gonna be there. 126 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,876 It's gonna be awesome. How do you not know about this? 127 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:45,811 [phone dings] 128 00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:50,749 Okay, uh, seriously, what is #acon? 129 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,018 Who the hell cares, people get laid at conventions. 130 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,119 -[Nick] Yeah they do. -Okay. 131 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,387 -Really? -Huh. 132 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:58,890 -Is that like a thing? -Is that what, was that English? 133 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,059 Like a thing, sorry, I was born in Mexico. 134 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,862 Yeah, that's literally why they invented conventions, so you can fuck. 135 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,631 [Nick] It's like the only place you can cheat on your wife and get a free gift basket. 136 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,034 The gift baskets, uh, but the cheating. 137 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,704 -So this means-- -You can have sex finally. 138 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,638 [Juanpa moans] Ooh. 139 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,041 -[shattering] -[Juanpa screams] 140 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,410 No more virginity! 141 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,679 [all cheering and screaming] 142 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,115 -Yeah Juanpa. -I'm not gonna be a virgin, Logan! 143 00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:26,017 -Let's do it! -[all cheering and screaming] 144 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,120 We're all gonna be on the same fucking flight. 145 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:30,021 -Are you ready, man? -What, no, no, no. What-- 146 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,491 [clears throat] We-- Do we have to fly? 147 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,893 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah Logan, yeah. 148 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,728 Uh, then I can't go. 149 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,598 No Logan, por favor not again. 150 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,967 [Juanpa in echo voice] Why can't you fly Logan? 151 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,469 [quiet music] 152 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:47,539 [young Juanpa] You can do it, Logan, you can do it! 153 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,975 It's gonna go on YouTube. 154 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,544 I don't know, looks pretty high from up here. 155 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,580 You're wearing a helmet, use your wings, you big pussy. 156 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,149 Alright, here it goes. 157 00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:59,985 My foreign exchange brother Logan is going to fly. 158 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,853 [screaming] Oh shit! 159 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,024 -[cracking] -Logan! 160 00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:07,458 -How bad is it? -You broke your femurs. 161 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,995 [screams] 162 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,899 [screaming fades away] 163 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:16,885 That's how I got these. 164 00:07:16,886 --> 00:07:17,802 -[Logan sighs] -[Lele snorts] 165 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,672 -Whoa. -That's the dumbest story I've ever heard. 166 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,809 You ain't the fucking Wright Brothers motherfucker, alright? 167 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,578 And pull your pants up, the scars bring out the bitch in you. 168 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,547 [all laughing] 169 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,215 You a nasty bitch, 170 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,184 -you a nasty bitch. -[all laughing and screaming] 171 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:33,952 [Logan] Come on stop, stop, guys, stop. 172 00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:36,888 Guys, I'm not going and stop jumping, we have termites! 173 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,490 Shut the fuck up and jump with us! 174 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,125 The termites! 175 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,527 [Bach] Termites? Fuck the shitty termites. 176 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,930 [Bach] Ain't anybody worried about no goddamn termites. 177 00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:47,032 -[upbeat music] -[termites screeching] 178 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,101 [squealing] 179 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,940 Seriously, everyone needs to stop jumping now! 180 00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:00,479 Yo, stop being a biggity bitch okay? 181 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,581 -Sorry. -Ain't no termites gonna chew through 182 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,516 this floor on my watch, I ain't gonna let it happen. 183 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,117 And second off you ain't gonna tell a black man 184 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,687 that he can't jump, I know my rights motherfucker 185 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,923 and I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump! 186 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,225 I'm gonna jump. 187 00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:15,760 -[crashing] -[crying out] 188 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,097 -[Bach] What the fuck? -You guys good? 189 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,131 -[Juanpa] What happened? -[Piques] My dick. 190 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,132 How did you land like that? 191 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,169 [Juanpa] It's time to get over your fear of flying, man. 192 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,671 If you won't do it for her, do it for my virginity. 193 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,240 -[microwave beeps] -Please. Por favor. 194 00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:30,709 Not gonna happen buddy, sorry. 195 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,144 Oh, it just would have been fun to tear up Australia with you. 196 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,280 [intense musical buildup] 197 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,048 -Australia? -Yeah, but it's fine, 198 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,984 I'll just call a hooker she can do the job. 199 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,586 -It's in Australia? -Yeah, bro, Australia. 200 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,555 Imagine all the stuff we can do there, man, 201 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:47,058 -kangaroos, wallaby's, shrimp on the barbie. -Shrimp on the barbie. 202 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,595 Marsupials, motherfucker, dingo's eating babies, 203 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,964 and you get to see the girl who lives in your computer. 204 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,535 Real titties, soft nipples, uh? 205 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,103 Hey, you talking about computer titties in there? 206 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,204 [from other room] Hey, let me tell you something about 207 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,572 these Australian hoes. 208 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:02,140 They're crazy, they're like boomerangs. 209 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,975 [Bach] You throw them away they come right back 210 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,310 and suck your dick, mate. 211 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,679 "Hey, can I suck your dick, mate?" I'm like, 212 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,813 "Yeah, you can do it. 213 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,248 Now put your back into it". 214 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,617 -Alright. -Uh-huh. 215 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,885 I know I'm gonna regret this. 216 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,620 But let's do it! 217 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,856 [cheering and shouting] 218 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,595 -[explodes and whacks] -Oh, sh-- Okay. 219 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:27,198 Ah! That's amazing, babe, you're gonna love it here, I promise. 220 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,668 I dunno I heard actually it's pretty gnarly. 221 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,271 -What do you mean? -Like deadly spiders, and snakes and shit. 222 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,674 Oh yeah, we've got a lot of spiders. 223 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:39,678 -But they're not like everywhere, right? -Yeah, look it. 224 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,115 -[screaming] -Holy shi-- 225 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,284 -[spider screeching] -[Ariel grunting] 226 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,953 -[whacking] -[grunts] 227 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,221 -This is my spider stick. -[Logan gasps] 228 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:53,158 You're so brave for coming to Australia, Logan, 229 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,028 -I can't believe you're coming. -I am absolutely terrified but I'm coming. 230 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,298 -[knocking on door] -Crikey, I have to go, bye. 231 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,802 -[connection shuts down] -[banging] 232 00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,070 [sighs] Okay. 233 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,938 Time to say goodbye, old friend. 234 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,043 [squeaking voice] One more time for old time's sake. 235 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:15,080 No. You're making this harder than it has to be. 236 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,082 -That's what I was hoping for. -[Logan sighs] 237 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:21,019 -Fine, but don't tell Ariel. -I never would. 238 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,155 -Thanks. -[ominous voice] That bitch is gonna die. 239 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,857 [ominous music] 240 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:29,361 -What? -I mean-- Uh... I was made to fly. 241 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,930 Anyways, er, rub me on your cock. 242 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,068 -What? -[ominous voice] Did I stutter? 243 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,802 -No. -[ominous voice] Then fucking rub me on your fucking cock! 244 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,339 Wee! 245 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,709 [radio presenter] Super psychedelic stuff from Stones 246 00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,178 and the groovy A-M-V-N. The moment-- 247 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,346 [in Russian accent] You boys want some water? 248 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,115 -No, thanks man. -Nah, we good fam. 249 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,249 Appreciate you. 250 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,685 -Then maybe some cocaine? -Sure. 251 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,920 -[snorting and moaning] -What? Juanpa what the f-- What the fuck? 252 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,056 I mean he's offering. Shut, shut the fuck up. 253 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,357 -You're not doing cocaine on the way to the airport. -I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 254 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,660 Holy shit. Yo, Vitaly's on our flight. 255 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,828 Apparently he's gonna Australia to stand trial. 256 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,364 -[chuckles] -Wait. Why is Vitaly going to stand trial? 257 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,932 Look if you weren't so knee deep in 258 00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,434 computer pussy you'd know what's going on. 259 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:13,772 [ dramatic music] 260 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,046 I'll take it from here, blind side. 261 00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,114 [jingling] 262 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,951 Welcome to hell. [sardonic laughter] 263 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,788 Augh! Two for flinching. 264 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:32,924 -[girl] Bye mom. -[mom] Bye. 265 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,225 -[girl] Bye dad. -[dad] Bye. 266 00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:36,394 [mom] Have a great time. 267 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,164 [airport announcements] 268 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,107 -I'm gonna miss you, Mom. -I'm gonna miss you. 269 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,013 [Bach] Now that's a close family. 270 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,881 Must be European. 271 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,049 Must be nice. 272 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,451 Must be down to fuck. 273 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,720 [Bach] Hey, ya'll wanna adopt a black man? 274 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,855 I'm gonna go shove this weed in my ass. 275 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,890 I got to check in with immigration. 276 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,993 -You good? -Not really. 277 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,030 [sighs] 278 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,165 Hide your knives, hide your drugs, 279 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,801 and hide your liquors 'cause we searching everybody around here. 280 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,237 [electrical whirring] 281 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:24,909 [electrical whizz] 282 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,344 Step out. 283 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:31,983 -Do you possess any explosives? -Nope just this bomb ass pussy. 284 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,184 [coughing] 285 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,875 -How you going, buddy? That's adorable that bag. -Here you go. 286 00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:36,565 Thank you, it's actually brand new. 287 00:12:36,566 --> 00:12:38,255 -I just got it from the store. -Oh yeah? 288 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,390 -Yeah. -Cool story man. 289 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:42,160 -Be, be-- -[shredding sound] 290 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,195 Come on man, what the fuck? 291 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,030 -[shredder stops] -Next. 292 00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,298 -What was that? -Here you go. 293 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:48,800 -Whoa. -[swooshing] 294 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,034 -[whacks] -[woman screams] 295 00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:52,337 [groaning] 296 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,972 My uterus. 297 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,141 -Hey where's Juanpa? -Immigration. 298 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,208 [hens cackling] 299 00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:58,543 Deported. 300 00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,245 [mariachi music] 301 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,280 -Hey, how are ya? Deported. -[bangs] 302 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:07,552 Oh sweet Jesus, definitely deported. 303 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:08,486 [bangs] 304 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,223 Well, hello young man, are you a citizen 305 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,959 -of these United States of America? -Si. 306 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:19,097 -I smell bullshit, deported. -No! Ow! Wait, look, 307 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,533 I wanna have sex, just send me to Australia. 308 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,336 -That can be arranged. -Ah, thank you, sir. 309 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,805 [clucking] 310 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,007 Whoa. Benny? 311 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,142 Oh my god, long time no see. 312 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,177 [snoring] 313 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,847 Um. Is-- he's supposed to be sleeping? 314 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:36,948 Chill, Logan. 315 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,950 [snoring] 316 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,051 [alarm blaring] 317 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,021 [policeman] Bag check. 318 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,023 What, why? 319 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,491 -Sir. -I just have a laptop. 320 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,026 You've been randomly selected 321 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,228 by our advanced safety algorithm 322 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,064 for an extensive anal cavity search. 323 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,202 I got 911 reasons not to trust this guy. 324 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,103 [crying out] 325 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,373 Whoa. You know you have to ex-ray that bird. 326 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,310 Well, he's, er, like a lapdog, he can't fly. 327 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,612 I don't know if that bird is a terrorist. 328 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,915 Check the damn bird. Thank you. [chuckles] 329 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:14,919 [chirps] 330 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,357 Sir, the bird, it's over three fluid ounces, 331 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,625 you're gonna have to check it. 332 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,294 -Come on, he's got scoliosis. -Hum. 333 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,263 Ma'am no twerking in my machine. 334 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,432 -I wasn't twerking. -I'm just making sure. 335 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,533 [swooshing and shattering noise] 336 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,235 [chirping] 337 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,570 [dramatic chord] 338 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,073 [dramatic music] 339 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,044 [distorted voices] 340 00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,217 [distorted screaming] 341 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,054 No, you can't make me! 342 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,589 You can't make me! 343 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:55,093 No, no, no, no! 344 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,628 -[crunches] -Ow, ow! 345 00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:58,463 Okay, okay. 346 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,398 I'm scared. 347 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,166 [girl] Wait guys, wait for me. 348 00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:03,935 [thuds] 349 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,336 [girl groaning] 350 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,505 [bangs] 351 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,308 Wait, stop, hey! 352 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,309 [thudding] 353 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,610 Wait. 354 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,081 [sighs and exhales] 355 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,050 As passengers in the emergency row are you willing 356 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,386 and capable to assist in the event of an emergency? 357 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,189 Alright, good enough. 358 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,926 No, no I'm fucking not! 359 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,029 Well, luckily for you the passenger in 2E 360 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,298 just passed away so I can upgrade you to first class if you like. 361 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,300 -Passed away? -Mm hm. 362 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:36,935 What do you mean passed away? 363 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,637 [eerie music] 364 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:40,705 [cart rattles] 365 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:47,111 One for you, there you are. [chuckles] 366 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,314 Yeah, mm-hum, hi there you go. 367 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,616 [chuckles] Alright, there you are, sir. 368 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,186 Hey, Juanpa you made it. 369 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,721 They searched my cavities man. 370 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,424 I've never been to a dentist like this before. 371 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,025 [attendant] Alright, move it along, here we go. 372 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,393 Keep going, all the way back. 373 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:05,063 [Juanpa] Frosty, uh, my last taste of America. 374 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,698 [indistinct chatter] 375 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,032 [phone dings] 376 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,301 [phone dings] 377 00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:13,237 [phone dinging] 378 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:14,439 Ah, shit. 379 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:18,142 [phone dinging] 380 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,145 Ew. 381 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,516 Auto correct. 382 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:28,686 -Are you looking at naked pictures on your phone? -No. 383 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,555 Yeah, yeah you were. 384 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:34,258 No, I-- I mean, yeah I was but it's my mom. 385 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,160 You're staring at a naked photo of your mom? 386 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,197 -No! Yes. Look I-- I mean-- -Oh my gosh. 387 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,999 -Ugh. -Technically yes, it was my mom, technically 388 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,667 yes she was naked but it's not like-- 389 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,237 I don't think we've met, hi, I'm Logan. 390 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,308 -Jenna. -Hi Logan, I'm Jenna. 391 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,478 -What? -Okay, well, I'm-- 392 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,515 -I think we got off on the wrong foot. -Cool. 393 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,616 [both chuckle] 394 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,152 Really looking forward to the next 17 hours of this. 395 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,453 Yeah, me to. 396 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,790 -[Jenna] Let me just move in. -If that helps. 397 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:06,691 [Jenna groans] 398 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,694 [upbeat music] 399 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:18,369 Welcome aboard Koalair flight 1524 to Sidney, Australia. 400 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,272 -Koality you can trust. -Trust. 401 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:25,176 [lisping] This is your captain Trussell with co-pilot Penis. 402 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,247 [co-pilot] First of all it's pronounced Penis, 403 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,416 I come from a proud Celtic heritage. 404 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,352 -I'd like to thank you for choosing Koalair. -[captain] Shut up. 405 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,487 We know you have many choices in air travel 406 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,090 and we are always surprised when you choose us. 407 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,526 -Argh. -I think that went pretty well. 408 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,628 That was killer annunciation bro. 409 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:46,531 You know I've been taking this new speech therapy class 410 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,067 and I think my lisp is gone. 411 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,435 [mimicking lisp] I can barley notice it. 412 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,602 You're so handsome, 413 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,205 you look just like your daddy. 414 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,774 Even though he ran off with that cheating whore 415 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,544 but your so cute, yes you are. 416 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,479 We're gonna find you a new daddy. 417 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,182 Yes we are, with way more money. 418 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,717 So, er, you gonna the social media convention? 419 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:10,855 -Oh, no, I'm visiting my sweetheart from the war. -Oh. 420 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,657 He's on his deathbed 421 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,559 -and I promised him... -Oh I'm sorry. 422 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:18,396 one more ride on the merry go around. 423 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,630 Ah, cool. 424 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:23,668 Oh, by the way I don't mean to scare you 425 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:27,205 but I sleep with my eyes open. 426 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,272 [chuckles] 427 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,809 [chuckles and gulps] 428 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,312 -Hello? Uh-- -Oh. 429 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,515 -Oh. Oh boy. -Lick your lips. 430 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,750 -Oh! -Uh-oh. 431 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:42,587 -Mwah. -Whoa. Fucking A. 432 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,655 And I was left with... 433 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,891 these bad boys. Yeah. 434 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,860 Oh my god. 435 00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,728 You probably think I'm an idiot, huh? 436 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:51,796 Check this out. 437 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,733 [Logan laughing] Oh my god! You have femur scars. 438 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,802 -Matching femur scars. -Oh yeah, we have matching femur scars. 439 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,638 -[Logan] This is weird, this is weird. -It is weird, 440 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,573 -most people don't even know what a femur is. -[shushes] 441 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,142 How do we--? Ah. 442 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,710 -[man] Keep it down up there. -It's fine. 443 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,211 How did you get yours? 444 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,181 Not to freak you out but plane crash. 445 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,218 Like a-- Like the fucking-- 446 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,753 Uh-- 447 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,222 What the fuck? God, what the fuck. 448 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,158 -[panting] -[laughs] 449 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,559 I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, 450 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:24,228 -no one survives those, no. -[chuckles] 451 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:27,498 -I like to play out in your head though. That was funny. -Okay. 452 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,866 -[laughing] -Aah. 453 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,170 -No. -You got me good, you got me good. 454 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,905 -You have a weird sense of humor. -[chuckles] 455 00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:35,239 But I like it. [chuckles] 456 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:38,242 -But how'd that happen actually? -Ah. Drug deal went south, 457 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:39,610 they brought hammers, so. 458 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,781 Y-- What kind of drugs? 459 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,650 Whoa look at all this leg room. 460 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,251 It's crazy. 461 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:48,920 I can't even reach my tray table. 462 00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,855 [grunting and puffing] 463 00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:52,890 Jesus Christ. 464 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,458 [laughing] 465 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,662 Hey, fucking stop having fun! 466 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:02,934 [upbeat music] 467 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,485 [voiceover] Look at you, my little fluffy haired cum scarf. 468 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:26,357 -Oh. -Am I following along at the right place? 469 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,226 [voiceover] That seat back isn't gonna be the only thing 470 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:29,760 in the upright position. [sighs] 471 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,830 -I dunno. -[voiceover] I'm gonna break you in 472 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,967 like a new pair of sneakers, Vans, damn Daniel. 473 00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:37,635 I'm gonna ride you like a pogo stick 474 00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,004 and fill you up like you forgot to say when. 475 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:43,507 I'm gonna fist you at the Four Seasons pool in broad daylight. 476 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,544 I'll stretch your tight little ass like goatskin drum. 477 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,379 I can hear you. 478 00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,615 [indistinct radio announcement] 479 00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:58,022 [screams] 480 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:02,827 Mmm. 481 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:04,829 Aww. 482 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,799 Oh, whoa, stop, stop. 483 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,868 [engine rumbles] 484 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,273 Hey, you can do this. 485 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:18,609 [upbeat music] 486 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,511 Don't be a little bitch, alright? 487 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,813 Please turn your cellular 488 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:27,051 and electronic devices to airplane setting. 489 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,719 Hey fuck that. 490 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:31,055 -I'd rather die than turn my shit off. -[cheers] 491 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:34,525 -I'm ready to die so you kill me motherfucker. -We want full cell service! 492 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:36,761 ¶ Say what you want fools That's right fools ¶ 493 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,529 ¶ I'd call you out But it's not news ¶ 494 00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,665 ¶ The world knows it Your girl knows it ¶ 495 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,033 ¶ You not one of them Tight dudes ¶ 496 00:21:42,035 --> 00:21:43,901 ¶ We watch you We know the type ¶ 497 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,836 ¶ Loud mouth like a motor bike ¶ 498 00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,538 ¶ I don't know why We let you live ¶ 499 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,407 ¶ Chalk it up to an over sight ¶ 500 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,008 ¶ A real man makes up his mind ¶ 501 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,877 ¶ Don't cry about it He'll laugh about it ¶ 502 00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,779 ¶ Real men live forever ¶ 503 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,580 Aw shit, we're going the wrong way. 504 00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:58,015 Oh my goodness, I believe 505 00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,817 we are going in the wrong direction. 506 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:00,818 We got to flip a bitch. 507 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,753 We will now flip a bitch. 508 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:05,923 The aviation term for turning the plane around. 509 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:07,558 Coming about! 510 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:10,928 [screaming] 511 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,964 It's a video, got your dumb ass. 512 00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,086 I fly all the time. 513 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:20,570 -[dial tone] -I can't talk right now mom, I'm on a fucking plane! 514 00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:22,773 -What the hell is going on? -Aw. 515 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:25,042 What-- Did you spill on the console again? 516 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:26,677 No I didn't spill, dad. 517 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,682 We are getting major satellite interference 518 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:34,118 -for some reason. -No, that's no satellite interference. 519 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,087 Wait, do you think that they--? 520 00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:38,022 It's the cell phones. 521 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,390 [laughing] 522 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:43,060 They didn't turn off their cell phones. 523 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:44,995 Everyone knows that you put your phone 524 00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:46,597 in airplane mode. 525 00:22:46,966 --> 00:22:48,966 Don't be so fucking naive Penis. 526 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,601 My name is Penis. 527 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,069 It is a Celtic name. 528 00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:54,538 God damn it, what the hell is going on. 529 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,575 Hey you motherfuckers, turn off your fucking cellphones. 530 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:58,909 -[electrical crackling] -Dad! 531 00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:02,146 -[electrical zapping] -[crying out] 532 00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,014 [alarm blaring] 533 00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:05,616 [musical chord] 534 00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,451 ¶ We're gonna live forever ¶ 535 00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:12,623 [sniffing and licking] 536 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:19,864 Flying ain't so bad. 537 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,099 Hey, look at my little doggie. 538 00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:23,401 -[Logan] Aw. -Isn't he cute? 539 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:24,902 -[Logan] Yeah, he is. -Yeehaw. 540 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,137 -Yeah, that's my baby. -That's good. 541 00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:27,638 -Whoa, whoa. -Oh. 542 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,973 -Yeah. Yeah. -No. Um-- 543 00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:30,508 Who is that shirtless hunk? 544 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,610 I'm getting as far away from that cheating prick 545 00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:34,445 as possible, hence Australia. 546 00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:37,615 Oh damn, my bad. 547 00:23:39,986 --> 00:23:41,652 You know I know what it's like to be cheated on. 548 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:44,655 Yeah this one time during midterms this Asian girl 549 00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:46,090 kept looking over at all my answers. 550 00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:48,959 Which I ironic you know because she's Asian, 551 00:23:52,131 --> 00:23:52,913 I should be cheating off of her. 552 00:23:52,914 --> 00:23:53,696 But it-- I see how that's different now 553 00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:56,434 that the words have come out of my mouth. 554 00:23:56,702 --> 00:23:57,635 What's your Instagram? 555 00:23:58,771 --> 00:23:59,970 I don't have social media. 556 00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:02,706 What do you mean when you say that? 557 00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:05,476 I mean like I'd rather just be living my life instead of 558 00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:09,613 -worrying if people are gonna like and comment on it. -Wow. 559 00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:12,983 -Are you with the #amegacon thing? -No, no, kind of, no. 560 00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,753 -Wow. -No, no. I'm actually going to Australia 561 00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:17,087 to visit my girlfriend for the first time. 562 00:24:17,089 --> 00:24:18,622 [Lele] Your girlfriend's a computer! 563 00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:19,990 Fuck you, Lele. 564 00:24:19,992 --> 00:24:21,659 Check out how pretty she is. 565 00:24:21,661 --> 00:24:24,128 -Home screen. -Whew! Home screen official. 566 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:26,030 Yeah, she's, she's gorgeous. 567 00:24:28,768 --> 00:24:29,834 [knocks] 568 00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,505 Hey, boys. [chuckles] 569 00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:36,640 Oh my god. Oh! 570 00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:41,011 I am so sorry. Oh jeez, sorry, sorry about that okay. 571 00:24:41,013 --> 00:24:42,847 [groaning and panting] 572 00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:45,516 Oh. Huh. 573 00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,751 This would happen to me on my first day. [chuckles] 574 00:24:47,753 --> 00:24:49,153 [sighs] Humph. 575 00:24:50,923 --> 00:24:51,856 [high pitch voice] 576 00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:55,693 [engine rumbles] 577 00:24:56,896 --> 00:24:58,863 [announcer] Attention, all passengers. We have reached 578 00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:01,232 our cruising altitude of 38,000 feet, 579 00:25:01,234 --> 00:25:03,601 it is now safe to unfasten your seat belts. 580 00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:06,203 Unfasten? You mean turn up? 581 00:25:06,205 --> 00:25:07,738 [all cheering] 582 00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:17,848 [upbeat music] 583 00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,850 ¶ Come here we go Through the rhythm move ¶ 584 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:22,152 ¶ You ain't got a lot ass You got a little bit though ¶ 585 00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:24,855 ¶ Always ignore my phone When I'm sick of a hoe ¶ 586 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:27,525 ¶ I take a white bitch Back home when I'm alone ¶ 587 00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,065 ¶ Sower's in the back seat Louis riding shotgun ¶ 588 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:37,701 ¶ Girl on the rebound I'm Dennis Rodman ¶ 589 00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:39,970 ¶ These girls get mad When they chasing me ¶ 590 00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:42,706 ¶ True Hollywood story Let's take some heat ¶ 591 00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:45,209 ¶ Friends try to cock block like Chris Hanson ¶ 592 00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:47,912 ¶ Straight to the bathroom I'm done dancing ¶ 593 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:50,147 ¶ Posers in the stall 'Cause I'm bring romance ¶ 594 00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:53,083 ¶ I murder girls 69 Like Charles Manson ¶ 595 00:25:58,090 --> 00:26:00,591 ¶ Bass getting louder Sounds like a bullet ¶ 596 00:26:00,593 --> 00:26:02,927 ¶ Nose full of powder Mouth full of bullshit ¶ 597 00:26:02,929 --> 00:26:06,830 ¶ Dick never prouder sly that A girls fit tits falling out ¶ 598 00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:09,099 ¶ Don't stop it's working Undress us with your eyes ¶ 599 00:26:09,101 --> 00:26:11,969 ¶ And you can't stop drooling Keep it in your pants girl ¶ 600 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:13,837 ¶ Who are you fooling But you may give you 601 00:26:13,839 --> 00:26:15,306 ¶ A flight you'll never forget ¶ 602 00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:17,708 [moaning] 603 00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:20,778 [upbeat music] 604 00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,684 [voiceover] You can't hear my thoughts. 605 00:26:26,686 --> 00:26:29,219 -Yes I can, Bruce. -[Bruce Voiceover] Stop it. 606 00:26:30,723 --> 00:26:33,724 -[humming] -[clattering] 607 00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:41,298 [gasps] Oh score, oh my god, alright, well. 608 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,000 [humming] 609 00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:46,937 Oh, hey, bulimic, get out of there. that stuff costs money. 610 00:26:47,340 --> 00:26:49,773 -What-- What am I-- -[vocalizes] 611 00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:52,276 I speak goat to, you are a basic bitch. 612 00:26:52,278 --> 00:26:54,712 What if I let you lick one of my nipples? 613 00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:57,147 I wouldn't fuck your brother even if we was hot. 614 00:26:57,350 --> 00:26:59,617 Okay, what about if I told you I had a penis? 615 00:26:59,619 --> 00:27:02,152 Here's the deal, you are a skinny, ratchet ass, 616 00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,755 basic bitch who goes to Cancun for spring break 617 00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:07,024 -and will put anything in her mouth, got it? -What? 618 00:27:07,026 --> 00:27:10,060 Take your brunette extensions, your skinny, 619 00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:12,296 weird, Selena Gomez look alike bullshit, 620 00:27:12,298 --> 00:27:15,766 -go get on your phone and go find a cock to suck. -Well-- 621 00:27:15,768 --> 00:27:18,402 Shhh. You're a basic bitch, get out of my liquor. 622 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:21,805 [baby babbling] 623 00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:34,885 [cart clattering] 624 00:27:36,188 --> 00:27:38,389 -Coffee, sir? -Yes please. 625 00:27:38,891 --> 00:27:41,058 Okay and how would you like it? 626 00:27:41,060 --> 00:27:44,294 Like I like my women, black and full of cream. 627 00:27:48,067 --> 00:27:49,266 You kiss like my dad. 628 00:27:49,268 --> 00:27:53,003 -Let's just pretend you didn't say that, okay? -Okay. 629 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:56,440 There you go. 630 00:27:58,077 --> 00:27:59,076 The fuck? 631 00:28:04,784 --> 00:28:05,716 You're next. 632 00:28:07,787 --> 00:28:09,153 Hey, guys just wanted to let you know 633 00:28:09,155 --> 00:28:11,889 I didn't see anything, you're still going. 634 00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,824 You're still going at it. Okay, sorry. 635 00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:15,159 I still didn't see anything. 636 00:28:16,729 --> 00:28:21,432 -[baby babbling] -Oh, ho-ho-ho. There you are. 637 00:28:21,434 --> 00:28:25,703 Oh, you're an escape artist just like your daddy. 638 00:28:25,705 --> 00:28:26,870 Mm. Huh? 639 00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:30,574 Yeah. 640 00:28:30,575 --> 00:28:31,741 Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners, 641 00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:33,377 you must be hungry comrade, huh? 642 00:28:33,946 --> 00:28:35,746 You want some banana, huh? 643 00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,381 You want a little banana? Here you go. 644 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:39,883 Why don't you eat that, there you go. 645 00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,151 [policeman] Why don't you take that all? 646 00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:42,419 Yeah that's what I thought, 647 00:28:42,421 --> 00:28:43,821 that's what I thought. 648 00:28:43,823 --> 00:28:46,757 You want some cheese, pal, you got cheese in Russia? 649 00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:48,826 Oh, you got a built in cheese grater right there, 650 00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:50,094 look at you, huh, look at you. 651 00:28:50,096 --> 00:28:52,029 What does that taste like, borsht? 652 00:28:52,031 --> 00:28:54,732 What else? Oh, Choco-taco. 653 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:57,267 I hope you're not dairy intolerant there, Ruski. 654 00:28:57,269 --> 00:29:01,438 How's that? Oh yeah, oh yeah. 655 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,340 [wild west music] 656 00:29:03,342 --> 00:29:05,075 What the fuck you looking at, Aladdin? 657 00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:06,410 Nothing, what's your problem? 658 00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:08,245 I got no problem, I'm just racist. 659 00:29:08,514 --> 00:29:11,448 I do respect queers though. They've been through a lot. 660 00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:13,050 Now you got that gay marriage. 661 00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:14,418 Used to be what they'd do is illegal. 662 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:15,953 Now they got shows about it. 663 00:29:16,789 --> 00:29:18,756 -I binge watch. -Okay, dude. 664 00:29:20,493 --> 00:29:22,192 Is he still looking? Yeah. 665 00:29:23,529 --> 00:29:24,895 [engine rumbles] 666 00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:29,066 And that's how I lost 15 percent of my right testicle. 667 00:29:29,802 --> 00:29:32,402 Yup, a dwarf in a Godzilla costume, can you imagine? 668 00:29:32,404 --> 00:29:35,372 I don't have to imagine, you just told me every last detail. 669 00:29:35,775 --> 00:29:37,875 There's nothing more I could possibly learn about your balls. 670 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:41,879 Oh you'd be surprised, they could do a whole 60 minute special on my balls. 671 00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:44,481 Does your Internet girlfriend know about your deflated testicle? 672 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:47,151 It's not deflated and no, 673 00:29:47,153 --> 00:29:48,919 we have not crossed that bridge yet. 674 00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:50,821 Alright, I'm sorry I got to ask, 675 00:29:50,823 --> 00:29:53,524 how can you love someone you never actually met? 676 00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:57,261 -She makes me snort. -What? 677 00:29:57,263 --> 00:29:59,296 She's funny, she's got a great sense of humor, 678 00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:02,299 -I know it's cheesy but-- -Bro, I could make you snort in two seconds. 679 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:03,901 No you could not, okay. 680 00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:05,903 It's practically impossible to make me laugh. 681 00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:09,239 It takes someone creative, it takes someone original. 682 00:30:09,241 --> 00:30:11,241 -Got to make a good joke to make me laugh. -Argh! 683 00:30:11,243 --> 00:30:12,476 [splatters] 684 00:30:12,478 --> 00:30:16,046 [laughs and snorts] 685 00:30:16,048 --> 00:30:17,047 [snorts] 686 00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:20,951 -Aw. Does this mean that you love me? -Ah-- 687 00:30:21,887 --> 00:30:22,953 -[sneezes] -[Jenna screams] 688 00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:31,428 By the way, thanks for pepping me up earlier. 689 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:34,431 I know it may not have seemed like much but it really helped. 690 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:35,966 Yeah, yeah, no problem Logan. 691 00:30:36,402 --> 00:30:38,602 Alright, I am going to try to get some sleep 692 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:40,437 and hopefully not dream of dwarfzilla. 693 00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:41,605 Or swollen balls. 694 00:30:41,607 --> 00:30:43,907 -Yeah. -[chuckling] Am I right? 695 00:30:43,909 --> 00:30:45,509 Yeah, okay goodnight. 696 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:51,014 I'm gonna nominate your shoulder as my pillow, okay. 697 00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:54,084 [upbeat music] 698 00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:05,963 Did you really just wipe your snot on my shoulder? 699 00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:08,265 No. 700 00:31:08,934 --> 00:31:10,000 Is this shit? 701 00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:13,604 Oh, okay, thank God. 702 00:31:13,606 --> 00:31:17,941 [suspenseful music] 703 00:31:17,943 --> 00:31:20,110 [snoring] 704 00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:23,580 [engine rumbles] 705 00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:29,653 [knocks] 706 00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:34,191 Hey, I have noticed that the seatbelt sign has been off 707 00:31:34,193 --> 00:31:37,227 for the last several hours and I just think that-- Oh! 708 00:31:37,529 --> 00:31:39,229 That is very unprofessional 709 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:41,531 and unsafe and Jesus Christ 710 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:43,967 are you gonna suck his dick all the way to Australia? 711 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:45,936 Fuck it! I'll finish him off. 712 00:31:46,338 --> 00:31:48,105 [screaming] 713 00:31:48,107 --> 00:31:50,007 [dramatic music] 714 00:31:50,009 --> 00:31:51,074 Oh my god! 715 00:31:51,076 --> 00:31:54,044 [dramatic musical buildup] 716 00:31:55,147 --> 00:31:56,546 [flight attendant gasping] 717 00:31:58,017 --> 00:32:00,017 [flight attendant gasping and crying] 718 00:32:04,290 --> 00:32:05,989 We need your assistance in the cockpit, sir. 719 00:32:05,991 --> 00:32:07,257 Are you fucking kidding me? 720 00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:11,328 Sir, we really need your assistance in the cockpit. 721 00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:12,963 You're crazy if you think I'm gonna let 722 00:32:12,965 --> 00:32:15,098 this soviet psychopath sit back here alone. 723 00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:18,268 Sir, with all due respect this is more important. 724 00:32:19,204 --> 00:32:20,537 Do you know what this guy's capable of? 725 00:32:20,539 --> 00:32:22,639 He is the reason you have your privates scanned 726 00:32:22,641 --> 00:32:25,676 at the airport, and I hate having my privates scanned. 727 00:32:26,178 --> 00:32:28,412 I had my dick lobbed off by a pottery wheel. 728 00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:31,248 Now my dick looks like the stump at the end of the giving tree. 729 00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:32,182 Oh. 730 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,119 If you so much as flinch 731 00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:38,555 I will make you a member of the dick stump club. 732 00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:41,558 There are three of us. 733 00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:44,728 We meet on Wednesdays. 734 00:32:45,698 --> 00:32:46,697 Damn it. 735 00:32:47,499 --> 00:32:50,734 [dramatic music] 736 00:33:06,719 --> 00:33:09,519 -What the fuck is on his mouth? -I just thought they were making oral love, 737 00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:12,122 -I had no idea that they were-- -Oh you had no idea. 738 00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:13,657 -You had no idea? -[attendant] No. 739 00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:16,159 TAS article 1219 clearly states 740 00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:19,730 -no pilot shall engage in dick suckery without a spotter. -What? 741 00:33:19,732 --> 00:33:21,999 -Dick suckery? -How would I know that? 742 00:33:22,001 --> 00:33:23,667 -Cause that's your job. -It's not my job. -Is everything okay? 743 00:33:24,636 --> 00:33:25,435 Hey, go back to your seat. ok? 744 00:33:25,437 --> 00:33:26,703 Go back to your seat now 745 00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:28,071 or I'm gonna tase you till you shit. 746 00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,106 What happened to the pilots? 747 00:33:29,108 --> 00:33:30,307 Hey look, just be quiet, okay, 748 00:33:30,309 --> 00:33:31,742 we don't want the rest of the plane 749 00:33:31,744 --> 00:33:33,243 to know the pilots are dead, we're fucked. 750 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:35,312 Dead, the pilots are dead? 751 00:33:36,215 --> 00:33:38,682 -Holy fucking shit. -I came in here. And I found them like that and I was like, 752 00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:40,684 "Oh my god what do I do", and then I went and got him. 753 00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:42,252 -And now it's-- -Alright listen. Shut up, shut up 754 00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:43,787 both of you calm down, okay? Listen to me. 755 00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:46,656 -Hey over here, over here, over here. -Ok, ok. 756 00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:49,693 Listen to me, okay, I'm trained for situations like this. 757 00:33:49,695 --> 00:33:51,361 You go get me a car battery, 758 00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,397 a tourniquet, and a bendy straw. 759 00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,465 I'll have these zombie pilots flying in no time. 760 00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:59,102 Sir, we don't have anymore bendy straws. 761 00:33:59,104 --> 00:34:01,038 -Oh fuck! -Fuck. 762 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,506 -Alright. -We are so fucked. 763 00:34:02,508 --> 00:34:04,174 I'm just gonna have to land this plane myself. 764 00:34:04,176 --> 00:34:07,210 -You can fly? -There are two things in my life that I love. 765 00:34:07,513 --> 00:34:08,779 Flying jets and pottery. 766 00:34:08,781 --> 00:34:10,614 -I gave my dick for it. -Oh. 767 00:34:10,616 --> 00:34:13,250 I'm gonna land this plane and we're gonna be just fine. 768 00:34:13,252 --> 00:34:15,085 -[cracking] -Argh! 769 00:34:15,087 --> 00:34:17,554 [attendant groans] 770 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:18,622 [Logan] Holy shit. 771 00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:24,361 [engine rumbles] 772 00:34:27,332 --> 00:34:29,699 -[man] Ahh. -Hey boss had a bit of radio silence 773 00:34:29,701 --> 00:34:31,668 from flight 1524 from Los Angeles. 774 00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:35,172 Oi, well you know what they say, "Silence is golden", huh, 775 00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:38,141 especially from Los Angeles. Bunch of fucking hippies. 776 00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:42,112 Hipsters. What the fuck is Coachella anyway? 777 00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:45,315 Where's my baby? 778 00:34:45,851 --> 00:34:48,552 [baby babbles] 779 00:34:49,788 --> 00:34:53,356 Is that a baby? Is that a baby? 780 00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:56,293 Oh shit. 781 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,228 [mom] Have you seen my baby? 782 00:34:58,230 --> 00:34:59,396 A baby. 783 00:35:03,135 --> 00:35:04,134 Hi baby. 784 00:35:04,136 --> 00:35:05,469 [mom] Have you seen my baby? 785 00:35:06,271 --> 00:35:07,304 Have you see my baby? 786 00:35:07,306 --> 00:35:09,106 What did I find? 787 00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:13,410 Aw, you look starving. Come on. 788 00:35:15,681 --> 00:35:19,616 Sir, sir-- hi, as much as I love that Versace blouse 789 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:22,152 you are cannot breast feed that baby right here. 790 00:35:22,888 --> 00:35:23,854 Really? 791 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,223 Well I think I can breast feed 792 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:30,127 this random baby wherever the fuck I want. 793 00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:31,728 -[whispering] No you can't. No you can't. -[man] Okay? 794 00:35:31,730 --> 00:35:34,231 God gave me nipples and I'll be damned 795 00:35:34,233 --> 00:35:35,665 if I don't use them, okay? 796 00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:37,517 Okay, well, little science lesson, 797 00:35:37,518 --> 00:35:39,368 men don't produce breast milk incidentally so, ah. 798 00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:41,338 [squirting] Aw, oh, no. 799 00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,274 It's a miracle. 800 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:45,909 Oh God, you're a squirter. 801 00:35:45,911 --> 00:35:48,178 Yeah, yeah milk facial. 802 00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:50,213 -[baby babbles] -Who wants a milk mask? 803 00:35:50,215 --> 00:35:51,681 I didn't, uh, sir I didn't realize. 804 00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:53,650 Wait, open your mouth one more time. Ah. 805 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:55,452 -[squirts] -Oh, oh, okay. Oh. 806 00:35:55,454 --> 00:35:57,554 [man] What's that? That's not diet Coke, bitch. 807 00:35:58,357 --> 00:36:00,690 A little in the mouth, okay never mind thank you. 808 00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:02,392 Idiot. 809 00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:05,762 Hi, how are you? 810 00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:07,731 This is my baby. 811 00:36:09,568 --> 00:36:10,567 You want some milk? 812 00:36:11,904 --> 00:36:13,537 I got two of these motherfuckers right here. 813 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:18,909 [whistling] 814 00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:23,413 [dramatic music] 815 00:36:23,415 --> 00:36:26,516 [crying out] 816 00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:29,653 [coughs] 817 00:36:30,822 --> 00:36:32,355 Oh shit, I have a boner. 818 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,929 Oh no, no, no, no. Oh no, no, no. 819 00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:43,567 No, sir, please wake up sir, please wake up sir. 820 00:36:43,569 --> 00:36:46,736 Please wake up sir, oh God, sir! 821 00:36:46,738 --> 00:36:48,438 Okay, okay. 822 00:36:48,974 --> 00:36:49,906 Alright look. 823 00:36:50,609 --> 00:36:52,909 [sputtering] 824 00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:55,645 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 825 00:36:55,647 --> 00:36:58,481 Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up, please wake up. 826 00:36:58,483 --> 00:36:59,683 [sputtering] 827 00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:03,687 Oh God, no, no, no, no. 828 00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:08,325 Okay, okay, sir, please wake up. 829 00:37:08,327 --> 00:37:10,660 Please wake up, sir, one, two, three, four, 830 00:37:10,662 --> 00:37:13,330 five, six, seven, eight. 831 00:37:14,299 --> 00:37:16,700 [dramatic music] 832 00:37:16,702 --> 00:37:19,369 [sputters] 833 00:37:25,310 --> 00:37:30,680 [crying] Please sir, please. 834 00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:35,018 Fuck! 835 00:37:40,792 --> 00:37:43,760 Some day all of this will be yours. 836 00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:47,264 [squirting] 837 00:37:47,266 --> 00:37:49,666 [engine rumbles] 838 00:37:51,503 --> 00:37:53,703 [muttering] 839 00:37:56,375 --> 00:37:57,707 -Juanpa. -What do you want? 840 00:37:57,976 --> 00:37:59,542 It's getting to the best part, 841 00:37:59,544 --> 00:38:01,645 she's putting the tongue, oh, look at it, oh yeah. 842 00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:02,812 [clangs] 843 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,514 Damn it, Log, what do you want bro? 844 00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:06,549 [man] Can get that crow bar back? 845 00:38:06,551 --> 00:38:08,051 Juanpa, we need to talk. 846 00:38:08,954 --> 00:38:11,321 Now. Now! 847 00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:13,857 Oh shit. 848 00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:18,395 -[camera clicks] -[Logan] You taking a selfie? 849 00:38:18,397 --> 00:38:21,064 Yeah it's lit. Argh! 850 00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:22,832 Should we try CPR? 851 00:38:23,302 --> 00:38:24,734 No man, I already tried that. 852 00:38:25,337 --> 00:38:27,037 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 853 00:38:27,039 --> 00:38:28,838 So this means you made out with a guy? 854 00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,808 -Juanpa, this is not the time. -Was it nice? Um-- 855 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:32,942 -What? -It must be nice. 856 00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:35,478 -Dude, focus please. -Yeah. 857 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,682 [suspenseful music] 858 00:38:41,420 --> 00:38:42,485 They're actually dead, bro. 859 00:38:43,388 --> 00:38:44,721 Aw, nah, nah, nah. 860 00:38:46,925 --> 00:38:48,692 What, what should we do? 861 00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:51,061 I don't know. Maybe someone else has a plan. 862 00:38:51,596 --> 00:38:54,597 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah that's a great idea, Log, 863 00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:56,099 who should we get, oh Brittany Furlan? 864 00:38:56,101 --> 00:38:58,601 Who wants a body shot? 865 00:38:59,404 --> 00:39:01,571 Or the guy who makes me doubt my sexuality, huh? 866 00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:03,406 [cheerful chord] 867 00:39:03,408 --> 00:39:05,008 Maybe King Bach, he's your buddy right? 868 00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:07,043 Ah, ah, ah, ah! 869 00:39:07,045 --> 00:39:08,478 Think straight. 870 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,646 You're right, everyone will panic. 871 00:39:09,648 --> 00:39:11,614 I need you to figure this out, okay? 872 00:39:11,616 --> 00:39:15,485 I need to put my seed into a woman's vagina before I die. 873 00:39:15,487 --> 00:39:17,354 Okay, you go do that, you go do that, 874 00:39:17,356 --> 00:39:19,122 because I'm probably gonna crash this plane. 875 00:39:19,124 --> 00:39:21,825 -Alright, one of us has to succeed, okay? -Yeah. 876 00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:23,993 -Yeah. Okay. -One of us will. 877 00:39:23,995 --> 00:39:25,528 -One of us. -Yeah. 878 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:26,463 Probably you. 879 00:39:27,132 --> 00:39:30,400 [upbeat music] 880 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,740 ¶ Don't that feel Real funky ya'll ¶ 881 00:39:44,383 --> 00:39:47,951 Brittany, I want to take a body shot. 882 00:39:47,953 --> 00:39:49,052 Okay, come here, bitch. 883 00:39:52,624 --> 00:39:53,556 Jenna? 884 00:39:54,826 --> 00:39:58,428 -Hey, Jenna? -[snorting] 885 00:39:58,430 --> 00:40:00,563 -Hey. -Oh, hey stranger, where you been? 886 00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:03,833 Um-- Can we talk for a second? 887 00:40:06,638 --> 00:40:09,773 Are you seriously asking if you can say something to me? 888 00:40:09,775 --> 00:40:11,841 You're talking to me while you're saying this. 889 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:14,010 So, so can we or-- 890 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:18,882 [mimics radio static] Amber alert, we've got a missing person 891 00:40:18,884 --> 00:40:21,918 aisle in seat 2E, suspect, looks like he's been crying. 892 00:40:22,554 --> 00:40:23,720 I'm not crying. 893 00:40:23,722 --> 00:40:26,022 [crying] 894 00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:31,027 Vitaly killed them and both of the pilots are already dead 895 00:40:31,029 --> 00:40:32,762 and I'm really scared right now, 896 00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:34,497 'cause no one is flying this plane right now Jenna 897 00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:35,765 and I'm really scared and you're 898 00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:37,066 the only person I can trust to help. 899 00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:39,169 Okay that's adorable and a really good story 900 00:40:39,171 --> 00:40:41,171 -but we land in a few hours. I'm gonna try to sleep -No, no. 901 00:40:41,173 --> 00:40:42,806 -...and you're gonna try to get your shit together. -No, no, no. 902 00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:44,007 Please, please, please, Jenna 903 00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:45,842 please just follow me, okay? 904 00:40:47,646 --> 00:40:48,711 You need to see this. 905 00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,080 These pilots better be dead. 906 00:40:51,716 --> 00:40:55,118 [dramatic music] 907 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:59,923 -Oh shit. I jinxed it. -Yeah, I know right, what are the odds? 908 00:40:59,925 --> 00:41:02,792 Hey, you wouldn't by chance know how to drive a 767, would ya? 909 00:41:04,863 --> 00:41:06,729 We're all gonna die! 910 00:41:06,731 --> 00:41:07,997 Calm down, calm down, calm down. 911 00:41:07,999 --> 00:41:10,233 -[screams] -Calm down, calm down. 912 00:41:10,235 --> 00:41:12,902 Do you know how to drive a 767? 913 00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:14,938 You unlucky bastard! 914 00:41:14,940 --> 00:41:16,773 -Okay. -[Jenna yelling] 915 00:41:16,775 --> 00:41:18,775 Okay, breath Jenna breath, breath, breath. 916 00:41:18,777 --> 00:41:20,210 Okay, Namaste, Namaste. 917 00:41:20,212 --> 00:41:22,245 Namaste, yeah, yeah, that's right, that's good. 918 00:41:22,247 --> 00:41:23,847 Okay, okay. 919 00:41:23,849 --> 00:41:25,181 There's a murderer on this plane 920 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:26,816 and I'm gonna have to die with this loser 921 00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:29,185 and all his loser friends but that's fine. 922 00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:32,021 I know my god it's not fine, I'm not even having a good hair day. 923 00:41:32,257 --> 00:41:34,891 What about my open casket, this plane will probably fuck my face up. 924 00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:36,960 -Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna!. -I need my face, what! 925 00:41:36,962 --> 00:41:38,628 We need to figure this out. 926 00:41:38,630 --> 00:41:40,997 Now, for the last time, 927 00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,900 do you know how to drive a 767? 928 00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:49,939 -No, I don't know how to fly a 767. -Come on. 929 00:41:49,941 --> 00:41:51,808 So I'm just gonna go back to my seat 930 00:41:51,810 --> 00:41:54,143 and look at pictures of my dog until we crash. 931 00:41:54,145 --> 00:41:56,846 [Jenna in echo voice] Until we crash, we crash, we crash... 932 00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,550 Hey buddy. I heard you took quite the little crash. 933 00:42:00,819 --> 00:42:02,619 Okay, let see what the problem is. 934 00:42:03,288 --> 00:42:05,121 [pukes] 935 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:07,624 You puked on my bones! 936 00:42:07,626 --> 00:42:11,528 I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. 937 00:42:11,963 --> 00:42:12,996 Ew. 938 00:42:14,699 --> 00:42:15,665 Are you okay? 939 00:42:16,902 --> 00:42:19,002 [farts] 940 00:42:21,006 --> 00:42:21,938 What was that? 941 00:42:21,940 --> 00:42:24,841 The flight attendants, they'll know what to do. 942 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:26,676 Did you just fart? 943 00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:29,145 But where did they go? 944 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:30,914 We got to find them. 945 00:42:34,286 --> 00:42:37,086 [mumbling] 946 00:42:38,023 --> 00:42:39,088 Surprise. 947 00:42:41,793 --> 00:42:43,993 [mumbling] 948 00:42:45,597 --> 00:42:47,564 What the hell is wrong with you? 949 00:42:47,566 --> 00:42:49,699 What's wrong, you don't like pranks? 950 00:42:49,701 --> 00:42:52,001 We don't like what, I couldn't understand you, what? 951 00:42:52,237 --> 00:42:53,937 Amber alert, somebody's missing 952 00:42:53,939 --> 00:42:55,805 a sense of humor down in the luggage. 953 00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:57,340 Amber Alert was my drag name. 954 00:42:57,342 --> 00:42:58,741 [screams] 955 00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,176 Okay. 956 00:43:00,178 --> 00:43:02,712 The flight attendants are nowhere to be found 957 00:43:02,714 --> 00:43:05,432 -but I'm sure everything's gonna be fine, right? -How is it gonna be fine, Logan? 958 00:43:05,433 --> 00:43:08,151 I don't know but they probably figured out how to save the day. 959 00:43:08,153 --> 00:43:09,919 We're in an emergency right now, you can't, 960 00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,788 you can't just sit there. We need to do something. 961 00:43:11,790 --> 00:43:13,756 Press this button and the flight attendants will come. 962 00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:15,825 Don't press the button, that's not for emergencies, 963 00:43:15,827 --> 00:43:17,193 -that's for fucking water. -Please. 964 00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:20,029 Wow, okay, at least have the balls to do something. 965 00:43:22,067 --> 00:43:26,202 Oh my god, I just hit the jackpot. 966 00:43:27,606 --> 00:43:28,805 How is this all free? 967 00:43:28,807 --> 00:43:30,139 You're a mother. 968 00:43:30,141 --> 00:43:31,908 -[mother] Oh, fuck. -Give me these. 969 00:43:31,910 --> 00:43:34,110 -[mother] Jesus. -Damn, you have a baby. 970 00:43:34,913 --> 00:43:37,380 You're supposed to have seven of those but, you know. 971 00:43:37,382 --> 00:43:39,282 Taking care of business. [chuckles] 972 00:43:39,985 --> 00:43:42,885 [young Juanpa voiceover] You can do it, Logan, you can do it. 973 00:43:42,887 --> 00:43:45,154 [Juanpa voiceover] If you won't do it for her, do it for my virginity. 974 00:43:45,156 --> 00:43:48,691 [young Juanpa] Use your wings you big pussy, pussy... 975 00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:50,927 [Jenna] What are you doing here? 976 00:43:50,929 --> 00:43:52,161 I'm gonna drive this plane. 977 00:43:52,163 --> 00:43:55,131 [suspenseful music] 978 00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:57,033 [exhales] 979 00:43:58,870 --> 00:44:00,036 [clicking] 980 00:44:00,038 --> 00:44:02,205 Whoa, whoa, whoa, do you even know what you're doing? 981 00:44:02,207 --> 00:44:04,073 No, but I'm a fast learner. 982 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:06,943 [rattles] 983 00:44:09,347 --> 00:44:11,681 Great, well, I hope that wasn't important. 984 00:44:12,317 --> 00:44:16,019 Hey, hey check it out I think I've figured out the radio. 985 00:44:16,221 --> 00:44:18,321 [man on radio] Air traffic control to flight 1524? 986 00:44:18,323 --> 00:44:20,323 Air traffic control to flight 1524? 987 00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:22,358 Oh my god you're there, hello. 988 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:23,960 Aye, Benji here. 989 00:44:23,962 --> 00:44:25,862 Been trying to talk to you guys for ages. 990 00:44:25,864 --> 00:44:27,296 Yeah Benji, we're here man. 991 00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:28,931 [Benji] I take it you're not the pilots? 992 00:44:28,933 --> 00:44:31,000 Uh, no, no, my name is Logan Paul. 993 00:44:31,202 --> 00:44:32,735 You're not a terrorist, are you mate? 994 00:44:32,737 --> 00:44:36,305 No, I'm a social media sensation. 995 00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:40,043 We're a bit full of ourselves, aren't we, mate? 996 00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:42,679 Why don't you stroke the tip a bit more? 997 00:44:43,348 --> 00:44:45,248 -What? -What happened to the pilots, mate? 998 00:44:45,817 --> 00:44:47,450 -They're dead. -No worries, mate. 999 00:44:47,452 --> 00:44:50,253 -What happened to the flight attendants? -They're missing. 1000 00:44:50,255 --> 00:44:54,290 - Slight worry but don't worry, we'll take care of ya. -Really? 1001 00:44:54,292 --> 00:44:57,727 Amber Alert, missing flight attendants of flight 1524. 1002 00:44:57,729 --> 00:44:59,295 [chuckles] 1003 00:44:59,297 --> 00:45:00,997 What was that? Aussie joke mate, 1004 00:45:00,999 --> 00:45:03,066 you wouldn't get the reference. Okay. 1005 00:45:03,068 --> 00:45:05,435 It appears you guys are a bit off course 1006 00:45:05,437 --> 00:45:07,770 so I'm gonna punch in some new coordinates, 1007 00:45:08,073 --> 00:45:10,139 all you have to do is engage the auto pilot 1008 00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:12,709 and the plane will literally land itself. 1009 00:45:12,711 --> 00:45:15,144 Oh. That's great news, yeah. 1010 00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:16,713 You'll be a bloody hero, mate. 1011 00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:19,849 Yeah, yeah! [laughing] 1012 00:45:19,851 --> 00:45:21,484 Now you've got to raise the auto pilot lever 1013 00:45:21,486 --> 00:45:22,719 and engage the system. 1014 00:45:22,721 --> 00:45:24,153 Okay, what does it look like? 1015 00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:26,255 Big orange stick mate, can't miss it. 1016 00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:33,062 Um, can you be a little more specific? 1017 00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:36,799 It literally says autopilot right on the thing there, mate. 1018 00:45:37,736 --> 00:45:38,468 Um. 1019 00:45:39,971 --> 00:45:41,237 Is that all it says? 1020 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,805 [thumping] 1021 00:45:42,807 --> 00:45:45,208 Big orange lever, 1022 00:45:45,210 --> 00:45:48,244 center console, are you bloody color blind? 1023 00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:51,748 It's the only thing between you and certain death. 1024 00:45:53,918 --> 00:45:54,917 I broke it. 1025 00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:59,422 -I'm sorry what? -I broke off the autopilot by accident. 1026 00:46:05,363 --> 00:46:06,295 Sir? 1027 00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:08,431 Sir, you there? 1028 00:46:08,433 --> 00:46:09,398 [Jenna sighs] 1029 00:46:11,169 --> 00:46:15,938 Crikey. It would appear there are now a few more worries 1030 00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:18,541 than my original estimate of no worries. 1031 00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:22,211 -How bad is it? -You're fucked, mate. 1032 00:46:22,881 --> 00:46:24,847 -Oh my god. -[clattering] 1033 00:46:25,416 --> 00:46:26,816 [Jenna] Oh my god. 1034 00:46:26,818 --> 00:46:28,017 What do you mean I'm fucked? 1035 00:46:28,019 --> 00:46:29,085 That's a great question. 1036 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:33,055 Well, you're all types of fucked! 1037 00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:36,159 You're totally fucked, you're completely fucked. 1038 00:46:36,161 --> 00:46:38,127 You're like a parrot getting raped. 1039 00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:40,863 -[parrot voice] You're fucked, I'm fucked. -Yeah. 1040 00:46:40,865 --> 00:46:42,832 You're a little boy in a windowless van, 1041 00:46:42,834 --> 00:46:44,333 you're fucked and you're gonna die. 1042 00:46:44,836 --> 00:46:47,003 Speaking of which I don't like talking to dead people, 1043 00:46:47,005 --> 00:46:49,806 it really bums me out so I'm gonna cut out early 1044 00:46:49,808 --> 00:46:52,875 for lunch if no one minds and, uh, grab a quick bite. 1045 00:46:52,877 --> 00:46:54,076 Right, feeling a bit peckish. 1046 00:46:54,078 --> 00:46:56,312 I mind, I definitely do mind. 1047 00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:59,048 Well, too bad you're going to be dead soon, Benji out. 1048 00:47:00,151 --> 00:47:01,818 Alright, who wants tacos? 1049 00:47:04,255 --> 00:47:06,823 -What a dick. -How could you break the autopilot? 1050 00:47:06,825 --> 00:47:08,157 It's not like I did it on purpose. 1051 00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:10,526 Oh, oh you didn't do it on purpose? 1052 00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,428 Well, that's great, everything's just fine then, 1053 00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:14,897 right, 'cause Logan didn't do it on purpose. 1054 00:47:14,899 --> 00:47:16,532 Give me this stupid thing. 1055 00:47:17,268 --> 00:47:21,571 No, no, no. Um, pay, pay no mind to the sound of struggle. 1056 00:47:22,574 --> 00:47:24,540 We are fine and smooth as silk. 1057 00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:26,509 -[Jenna] Logan, they need to know. -Jenna, no they don't. 1058 00:47:27,045 --> 00:47:29,245 I know you're probably terrified right now and I am too, 1059 00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:32,048 but what you're doing is not helping. 1060 00:47:33,051 --> 00:47:37,353 So just give me the intercom, just hey. 1061 00:47:37,989 --> 00:47:41,157 Aw fuck, hey guys if you look to your right 1062 00:47:41,159 --> 00:47:43,159 and also to your left you will notice 1063 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:45,261 the vast expanse of the Pacific Ocean. 1064 00:47:45,263 --> 00:47:49,198 [clicks tongue] Oh, the ocean that's so romantic. 1065 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,500 [chuckling] Okay, take your fucking shot, Juanpa. 1066 00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:55,338 Woohoo! 1067 00:47:55,340 --> 00:47:57,073 We have to do something. 1068 00:47:57,075 --> 00:48:00,109 Yeah, yeah I mean it can be that hard, right? 1069 00:48:01,646 --> 00:48:03,012 We'll first we can move these bodies I mean 1070 00:48:03,014 --> 00:48:04,247 they're really starting to smell. 1071 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,949 [Jenna] Yeah. Up we go. 1072 00:48:06,951 --> 00:48:08,551 Oh, I'm impressed. 1073 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:10,019 Yeah, moving corpses is easy. 1074 00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:10,953 [gags] 1075 00:48:11,656 --> 00:48:13,389 Oh no, just dry heaves. 1076 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:14,924 -[Jenna] Okay. -I won't throw up. 1077 00:48:16,527 --> 00:48:17,960 -[burps] -[farts] 1078 00:48:17,962 --> 00:48:19,328 I'm sorry. 1079 00:48:19,330 --> 00:48:20,263 Nice. 1080 00:48:20,965 --> 00:48:22,064 [engine rumbles] 1081 00:48:24,369 --> 00:48:25,935 [slurping] 1082 00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:27,169 Ew. 1083 00:48:27,906 --> 00:48:29,472 Get the fuck out of my way. 1084 00:48:30,141 --> 00:48:31,307 Have you seen my baby? 1085 00:48:32,010 --> 00:48:32,942 No? 1086 00:48:33,144 --> 00:48:34,477 Oh your breath stinks. 1087 00:48:34,479 --> 00:48:35,912 Have you seen my baby? 1088 00:48:37,181 --> 00:48:38,214 -No. -[baby babbling] 1089 00:48:38,216 --> 00:48:40,950 Oh sir, have you seen my baby? 1090 00:48:41,953 --> 00:48:42,985 Your baby's missing? 1091 00:48:42,987 --> 00:48:43,920 Yeah. 1092 00:48:45,056 --> 00:48:48,157 I know your plight, I'm a new mother myself. 1093 00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:50,960 I'll help you find him, what does he look like? 1094 00:48:50,962 --> 00:48:54,096 Uh, he's a baby and he's white 1095 00:48:54,365 --> 00:48:56,399 and he's got little arms. 1096 00:48:57,201 --> 00:48:58,334 Is this your baby? 1097 00:49:00,705 --> 00:49:01,637 Hey. 1098 00:49:02,573 --> 00:49:03,506 Uh-- 1099 00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:05,374 I don't think so. 1100 00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:08,144 I don't think so. 1101 00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,480 Look lady, I'm not Dog the fucking baby hunter. 1102 00:49:11,482 --> 00:49:13,215 Okay, this baby that I found simply doesn't have 1103 00:49:13,217 --> 00:49:14,717 the wherewithal to raise itself 1104 00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,152 and that's where I come in. 1105 00:49:16,387 --> 00:49:17,987 That really looks-- 1106 00:49:17,989 --> 00:49:19,155 Why you touch baby? 1107 00:49:19,424 --> 00:49:20,957 Who do you think you are? 1108 00:49:20,959 --> 00:49:24,193 Walking around drunk around this plane losing babies. 1109 00:49:24,195 --> 00:49:26,395 You smell like Jack Daniels's dick. 1110 00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:28,130 I'm so sorry. 1111 00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:31,167 You get the fuck out of our face and you leave us alone. 1112 00:49:32,236 --> 00:49:34,403 Why do men hate me so much? 1113 00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:36,472 Because it's so easy. 1114 00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:37,707 [cries] 1115 00:49:37,709 --> 00:49:40,343 Boo fucking hoo. 1116 00:49:40,345 --> 00:49:43,145 [crying] 1117 00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:46,248 Do you know what would be a hilarious prank? 1118 00:49:46,617 --> 00:49:48,551 [cries out] 1119 00:49:49,187 --> 00:49:52,388 If we poisoned every passenger on this plane. 1120 00:49:52,390 --> 00:49:56,726 -No, no. -Tell me where the emergency oxygen supply is. 1121 00:49:56,728 --> 00:49:57,660 Never. 1122 00:49:57,662 --> 00:49:58,594 -Never? -Never. 1123 00:49:58,596 --> 00:49:59,662 -Never? -Never. 1124 00:49:59,664 --> 00:50:02,164 [crying] 1125 00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,432 -Never? -[Bruce] No. 1126 00:50:03,434 --> 00:50:05,735 Tell me how I access the oxygen, 1127 00:50:05,737 --> 00:50:08,270 or I'll feed this dog cat food. 1128 00:50:09,173 --> 00:50:11,040 [both screaming] 1129 00:50:11,042 --> 00:50:12,575 -Never! God no! -[Bruce screams] 1130 00:50:14,278 --> 00:50:15,211 Whoa! 1131 00:50:16,114 --> 00:50:18,547 The poor dog, no. 1132 00:50:18,549 --> 00:50:19,548 [Bruce screaming] 1133 00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:20,416 [Vitaly] Good doggy. 1134 00:50:20,418 --> 00:50:22,018 [Bruce screaming] 1135 00:50:22,020 --> 00:50:24,587 That's not what he's supposed to eat. 1136 00:50:24,589 --> 00:50:26,722 It's in the safety glass by the door. 1137 00:50:26,724 --> 00:50:28,624 -Why did you tell him, bitch? -It's by the door. 1138 00:50:28,626 --> 00:50:31,560 -You're going to pay for that. -Thank you, thank you. 1139 00:50:32,163 --> 00:50:34,063 [Bruce crying] You're going to pay for that. 1140 00:50:38,236 --> 00:50:40,036 Oh God, no. 1141 00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:42,505 -[wind whistling] -[crying out] 1142 00:50:42,740 --> 00:50:44,206 One for me. 1143 00:50:47,412 --> 00:50:48,811 One for you. 1144 00:50:48,813 --> 00:50:50,513 [Bruce shouting] What are you doing? 1145 00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:55,451 By the way it was dog food the whole time. 1146 00:50:56,621 --> 00:50:59,822 What kind of a man feeds a dog cat food? 1147 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:04,393 How sick do you think I am? 1148 00:51:04,395 --> 00:51:06,762 [screaming] 1149 00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:09,732 It's just a prank. 1150 00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:12,802 You're probably not gonna believe me when I tell you this 1151 00:51:12,804 --> 00:51:17,440 but you know most people think I'm this huge slut. 1152 00:51:17,442 --> 00:51:19,375 [chuckles] 1153 00:51:19,377 --> 00:51:21,677 But I've actually never even been with a man before. 1154 00:51:21,679 --> 00:51:24,480 Really? Maybe I can help you with that, 1155 00:51:24,482 --> 00:51:26,582 I've got some experience in that arena. 1156 00:51:27,251 --> 00:51:29,085 [laughing] 1157 00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:30,719 Aren't you like 16? 1158 00:51:30,721 --> 00:51:32,154 Seventeen. 1159 00:51:32,356 --> 00:51:35,858 Oh sorry, 17, my god. You're still illegal. 1160 00:51:35,860 --> 00:51:37,460 Hey, so what, we're all gonna die. 1161 00:51:37,795 --> 00:51:40,663 -What? -Okay, look my dick can't handle anymore. 1162 00:51:40,665 --> 00:51:42,765 The pilots are dead and Logan's flying the plane. 1163 00:51:42,767 --> 00:51:44,533 [laughs] 1164 00:51:44,535 --> 00:51:48,137 -What? -You're so cute, and funny, and Mexican. 1165 00:51:53,211 --> 00:51:55,178 That's not funny, I, I took a picture. 1166 00:51:55,179 --> 00:51:57,146 -Who is flying the plane? -Logan's flying the fucking plane, alright. 1167 00:51:57,381 --> 00:51:59,615 Listen, we've got nothing else left to lose. 1168 00:52:00,251 --> 00:52:02,218 This is either the most elaborate pick-up line 1169 00:52:02,220 --> 00:52:04,320 I've ever heard or we are really all gonna die. 1170 00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:05,821 Either way you're fucked. 1171 00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:07,656 Good point. 1172 00:52:07,658 --> 00:52:10,726 [cheerful upbeat music] 1173 00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:17,600 Oh my god. 1174 00:52:19,437 --> 00:52:21,137 [alarms beeping] 1175 00:52:21,906 --> 00:52:23,772 [engine rumbles] 1176 00:52:25,276 --> 00:52:27,743 Fuck is going on back there? Shit. 1177 00:52:28,346 --> 00:52:31,347 Son of a bitch. Hey, how the fuck you sleeping through this? 1178 00:52:31,349 --> 00:52:33,749 Wake your ass up. I'm sure we about too down in this bitch. 1179 00:52:33,751 --> 00:52:35,818 Wait, wait, I'm not on the pill. 1180 00:52:36,721 --> 00:52:37,786 Neither am I, neither am I. 1181 00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,455 ¶ Oh shit ¶ 1182 00:52:39,457 --> 00:52:41,557 Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 1183 00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:42,758 Yeah oh. 1184 00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:44,493 [screams] 1185 00:52:45,663 --> 00:52:46,595 [cries out] 1186 00:52:52,303 --> 00:52:54,637 -[dramatic chord] -[clangs] 1187 00:52:54,639 --> 00:52:56,872 [engine powering down] 1188 00:52:56,874 --> 00:52:58,541 [screaming] 1189 00:52:58,543 --> 00:53:00,376 [man] Oh, shit! 1190 00:53:11,956 --> 00:53:12,888 [camera clicks] 1191 00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,761 There's a solution to any problem. 1192 00:53:18,763 --> 00:53:21,430 A wise woman once said, "Shake it off--" 1193 00:53:21,432 --> 00:53:22,831 [screams] 1194 00:53:25,536 --> 00:53:26,468 Simba! 1195 00:53:29,774 --> 00:53:31,440 [screaming] 1196 00:53:31,676 --> 00:53:33,776 Give this video a thumbs up! 1197 00:53:44,255 --> 00:53:46,922 Give me that selfie stick, give me that selfie stick. 1198 00:53:47,491 --> 00:53:48,791 This is what panicking looks like. 1199 00:53:48,793 --> 00:53:50,726 [screaming] 1200 00:53:54,832 --> 00:53:56,799 [beeps] 1201 00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:58,701 [screaming] 1202 00:54:00,338 --> 00:54:03,672 Yo, flight 1524 we are out here. 1203 00:54:03,674 --> 00:54:06,709 Your boy came back like a movie star. 1204 00:54:06,711 --> 00:54:08,544 Follow me on Twitter at-- 1205 00:54:09,380 --> 00:54:11,247 [Bach] Fuck you Vitaly! 1206 00:54:12,383 --> 00:54:14,350 -[thuds] -[dramatic chord] 1207 00:54:14,352 --> 00:54:15,718 Brittany? 1208 00:54:15,720 --> 00:54:17,620 Brittany, Brittany, wake up. 1209 00:54:17,955 --> 00:54:19,388 Wake up, wake up. 1210 00:54:20,925 --> 00:54:23,459 You're being selfish I need this. 1211 00:54:23,461 --> 00:54:24,660 I can tell you're breathing. 1212 00:54:27,665 --> 00:54:28,764 Are you there? 1213 00:54:28,766 --> 00:54:30,599 Leave Brittany alone. 1214 00:54:30,901 --> 00:54:32,301 [engine rumbles] 1215 00:54:38,676 --> 00:54:39,942 Hey guys, Nick Bateman here. 1216 00:54:40,378 --> 00:54:41,610 Now, all my life 1217 00:54:42,313 --> 00:54:44,480 people would tell me I'm really good looking. 1218 00:54:44,482 --> 00:54:47,683 That I turn straight guys gay, lesbians straight. 1219 00:54:47,685 --> 00:54:49,818 Gay guys, gayer. 1220 00:54:49,820 --> 00:54:51,854 But you know what, there's more 1221 00:54:51,856 --> 00:54:54,890 to me than just a pretty face. I'm also a junior pilot. 1222 00:54:54,892 --> 00:54:56,792 [sighs] 1223 00:54:56,794 --> 00:54:58,560 I don't know what's going on back there 1224 00:54:58,929 --> 00:55:02,331 but I'm either gonna save the day or die trying. 1225 00:55:02,333 --> 00:55:04,800 Fuck yeah man, fucking do it. 1226 00:55:05,336 --> 00:55:07,336 -Hooray! -[all] Hooray! 1227 00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:10,606 Yeah, let's do this, let's do this! 1228 00:55:12,376 --> 00:55:13,309 [chokes] 1229 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:16,812 [sniffing] 1230 00:55:19,350 --> 00:55:20,082 [thud] 1231 00:55:21,052 --> 00:55:22,851 [Vitaly] Hey you, Yakuza. 1232 00:55:23,587 --> 00:55:25,454 Did you see anything, hum? 1233 00:55:26,557 --> 00:55:27,523 Jackie Chan? 1234 00:55:27,792 --> 00:55:29,925 Jackie, you, you see anything? 1235 00:55:30,494 --> 00:55:31,860 No? Shh. 1236 00:55:31,862 --> 00:55:34,830 [suspenseful music] 1237 00:55:34,832 --> 00:55:35,764 [sniffing & slurping] 1238 00:55:41,105 --> 00:55:42,504 [glass shatters] 1239 00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:47,876 [Vitaly as Bruce] Hello everybody, it's the homosexual flight helper. 1240 00:55:47,878 --> 00:55:50,679 The cabin pressure is still so low, 1241 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:54,350 please put you oxygen masks back on. Thank you. 1242 00:55:54,352 --> 00:55:56,018 [whooshing] 1243 00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:00,389 [gas hissing] 1244 00:56:03,094 --> 00:56:05,527 [intense musical buildup] 1245 00:56:07,498 --> 00:56:08,797 [Bruce] Don't do it, Logan. 1246 00:56:08,799 --> 00:56:10,833 Vitaly kazed the oxygen supply. 1247 00:56:11,435 --> 00:56:12,968 Godspeed my little cream pie. 1248 00:56:13,504 --> 00:56:14,937 Jenna wait, don't put that on. 1249 00:56:15,506 --> 00:56:16,438 Why? 1250 00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:17,673 Something's wrong with the oxygen. 1251 00:56:17,674 --> 00:56:18,907 [signals beeping] 1252 00:56:18,909 --> 00:56:19,908 How do you know? 1253 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:21,710 I hear gay people. 1254 00:56:24,982 --> 00:56:26,048 I have to go find him. 1255 00:56:26,550 --> 00:56:29,451 Logan no. Please, don't. 1256 00:56:32,056 --> 00:56:32,988 Damn it. 1257 00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:35,090 Hey you. 1258 00:56:35,092 --> 00:56:37,426 -[whacks] -[groaning] 1259 00:56:38,529 --> 00:56:39,628 [whooshes] 1260 00:56:39,630 --> 00:56:41,597 [Logan groaning] 1261 00:56:41,599 --> 00:56:43,832 -[wheeze] -Argh. 1262 00:56:43,834 --> 00:56:44,900 [pukes] 1263 00:56:44,902 --> 00:56:46,668 [screaming] 1264 00:56:46,670 --> 00:56:47,803 Ah, my dick. 1265 00:56:48,472 --> 00:56:50,005 [screaming] 1266 00:56:53,177 --> 00:56:55,177 [both screaming] 1267 00:56:55,179 --> 00:56:56,812 [shattering] 1268 00:56:56,814 --> 00:56:58,781 [Logan groaning] 1269 00:56:58,783 --> 00:57:00,749 [thud] 1270 00:57:00,751 --> 00:57:04,153 -[whacking] -[both screaming and groaning] 1271 00:57:06,891 --> 00:57:07,990 [water rushing] 1272 00:57:07,992 --> 00:57:10,092 My asshole, my asshole! 1273 00:57:10,928 --> 00:57:12,528 [shouting] Argh! 1274 00:57:12,530 --> 00:57:15,097 I think it turned inside out! Oh my god. 1275 00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:17,800 [shatters] 1276 00:57:21,038 --> 00:57:21,970 Nick! 1277 00:57:26,844 --> 00:57:28,043 [Vitaly] Ah, great. 1278 00:57:28,045 --> 00:57:30,879 [both groaning] 1279 00:57:35,686 --> 00:57:36,785 Not the vodka. 1280 00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:38,587 [groaning] Ow! 1281 00:57:40,157 --> 00:57:42,124 [shouting] Ow shit! 1282 00:57:42,126 --> 00:57:44,593 Holy shit, what the hell are you doing? 1283 00:57:44,595 --> 00:57:45,994 Completing my master prank. 1284 00:57:46,564 --> 00:57:50,098 There's no social media convention with all of you dead, 1285 00:57:50,100 --> 00:57:53,235 all of your followers will be mine. Imagine the power. 1286 00:57:54,205 --> 00:57:55,204 [thud] 1287 00:57:56,874 --> 00:57:58,640 -[cart clatters] -[shattering] 1288 00:57:59,910 --> 00:58:01,610 Wait, you've been pranked. 1289 00:58:02,546 --> 00:58:04,947 -What are you talking about? -It was just all a prank, bro. 1290 00:58:05,683 --> 00:58:08,750 Look closely, all these people are acting, see? 1291 00:58:09,553 --> 00:58:10,619 Look at this guy. 1292 00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:14,790 Hello, I'm okay. 1293 00:58:15,192 --> 00:58:16,658 You have been pranked. 1294 00:58:16,861 --> 00:58:19,628 -Nick? -See? Even that girls in on it. 1295 00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:23,232 -[whack] -[Logan groans] 1296 00:58:26,637 --> 00:58:27,903 Fuck you Vitaly! 1297 00:58:27,905 --> 00:58:28,937 [clang] 1298 00:58:32,076 --> 00:58:34,643 [grunting] 1299 00:58:34,645 --> 00:58:36,144 Oh shit, I have a boner. 1300 00:58:36,146 --> 00:58:38,680 Argh! Wha-- Wake up you chiseled brute. 1301 00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:40,582 Oh, we are so fucking mcfucked. 1302 00:58:40,584 --> 00:58:42,284 This crazy Russian, he's gonna crash the plane 1303 00:58:42,286 --> 00:58:44,720 and he threw out all the parachutes except one. 1304 00:58:44,722 --> 00:58:45,654 Holy shit. 1305 00:58:46,857 --> 00:58:48,156 Is that dog eating cat food? 1306 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:55,797 Logan, baby, it's dog food in a cat food can. 1307 00:58:56,100 --> 00:58:57,766 Oh thank God. 1308 00:58:59,703 --> 00:59:01,737 With a hint of Nick Bateman. 1309 00:59:01,739 --> 00:59:04,773 It's just a prank, bro, but I can assure you 1310 00:59:04,775 --> 00:59:07,242 your death will be very real. 1311 00:59:07,745 --> 00:59:10,546 Thanks for covering my tracks, Logan Paul. 1312 00:59:11,615 --> 00:59:12,648 I owe you one. 1313 00:59:12,650 --> 00:59:17,853 No, no, no, no, no, not the button, no, no that-- 1314 00:59:17,855 --> 00:59:20,155 -[wind whistling] -[both screaming] 1315 00:59:28,132 --> 00:59:31,667 If I die I'm taking you with me, you fuck. 1316 00:59:31,669 --> 00:59:33,201 [Logan screaming] 1317 00:59:34,939 --> 00:59:38,240 Oh God I'm only 23, sort of. 1318 00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:41,843 I can't hold on anymore! 1319 00:59:41,845 --> 00:59:44,313 [Bruce screaming] 1320 00:59:44,315 --> 00:59:45,347 [wind whistling] 1321 00:59:50,054 --> 00:59:53,121 Tell my boyfriend Steve to hide all the pornography. 1322 00:59:54,825 --> 00:59:57,926 Maverick, no, no, no! 1323 00:59:58,762 --> 00:59:59,962 Maverick! 1324 01:00:05,035 --> 01:00:06,735 That's my bird! 1325 01:00:08,205 --> 01:00:09,171 [beeps] 1326 01:00:11,709 --> 01:00:15,744 Oh God, thank you, thank you, we're all together. 1327 01:00:17,181 --> 01:00:19,181 Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, hey. 1328 01:00:19,183 --> 01:00:21,149 [Bruce voiceover] Save the day cum sponge. 1329 01:00:24,288 --> 01:00:25,921 Hey Bruce. 1330 01:00:26,790 --> 01:00:28,323 Any final advice on how to land this plane? 1331 01:00:29,059 --> 01:00:31,927 If you can get to the cockpit, engage the autopilot. 1332 01:00:31,929 --> 01:00:34,863 The plane will literally land itself. 1333 01:00:37,001 --> 01:00:38,834 Okay. Erm-- 1334 01:00:41,205 --> 01:00:42,170 [clicking] 1335 01:00:42,172 --> 01:00:43,238 [indistinct radio chatter] 1336 01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:45,307 [alarms beeping] 1337 01:00:45,876 --> 01:00:47,342 Vitaly, where is Jenna? 1338 01:00:48,979 --> 01:00:51,246 -[Logan screams] -[tearing] 1339 01:00:51,248 --> 01:00:52,848 [whooshing] 1340 01:00:56,286 --> 01:00:57,653 [shouts] 1341 01:00:59,223 --> 01:01:00,155 [grunts] 1342 01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:02,891 [epic music] 1343 01:01:02,893 --> 01:01:04,226 [cries out] 1344 01:01:04,228 --> 01:01:05,727 -[whack] -[groaning] 1345 01:01:05,729 --> 01:01:07,195 Nice try, ha. 1346 01:01:08,432 --> 01:01:10,766 -[Jenna] Ah! -Oh, shit, I am so sorry, 1347 01:01:10,768 --> 01:01:12,234 I thought I could jump kick Vitaly 1348 01:01:12,236 --> 01:01:13,301 and save the day, it would have been really cool. 1349 01:01:13,303 --> 01:01:15,137 Yeah, shut up and stop him! 1350 01:01:17,708 --> 01:01:18,707 Here. 1351 01:01:19,710 --> 01:01:20,409 [screaming] 1352 01:01:20,411 --> 01:01:22,044 -[whacks] -[groans] 1353 01:01:22,046 --> 01:01:24,246 -I hope you die! -Argh! 1354 01:01:24,248 --> 01:01:26,181 This is just a flesh wound, 1355 01:01:26,784 --> 01:01:29,351 have a safe flight, captain. 1356 01:01:29,353 --> 01:01:31,453 -Oomph! -Aww! 1357 01:01:31,955 --> 01:01:34,122 Oh shit. [screaming] 1358 01:01:34,124 --> 01:01:35,424 [splatter] 1359 01:01:48,072 --> 01:01:50,189 You'll be missed. 1360 01:01:50,190 --> 01:01:52,307 Do you get it? The jet engine turned him into mist. 1361 01:01:53,811 --> 01:01:54,743 Okay. 1362 01:01:59,116 --> 01:02:00,315 You got a plane to land. 1363 01:02:01,452 --> 01:02:02,451 I got this. 1364 01:02:02,453 --> 01:02:05,153 [boom] 1365 01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:08,123 -I don't got this. -Oh no, you do got this. 1366 01:02:08,125 --> 01:02:11,293 -I don't know if I got this. -I mean if you don't got this, then who got this? 1367 01:02:11,495 --> 01:02:12,961 I guess I'm gonna need to get this. 1368 01:02:12,963 --> 01:02:15,030 Oh this best going to get got then. 1369 01:02:15,032 --> 01:02:17,866 It will, it's best gone got and there ain't nobody better to go 1370 01:02:17,868 --> 01:02:20,302 -and get this than get me. -You got to get it while the goings good. 1371 01:02:20,304 --> 01:02:23,004 Oh the goings good and I'm at get it while the getting's good. 1372 01:02:23,006 --> 01:02:25,474 -You got to get it. -I'm gonna get it. 1373 01:02:25,476 --> 01:02:28,009 What the fuck are you people talking about? 1374 01:02:29,813 --> 01:02:31,379 -Get out there, come on. -I'm a get it. 1375 01:02:31,381 --> 01:02:32,781 You're gonna get it. 1376 01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:35,083 [engine rumbles] 1377 01:02:35,085 --> 01:02:38,019 [dramatic music] 1378 01:02:38,021 --> 01:02:39,955 -[screaming] -[alarms blaring] 1379 01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:45,193 Okay. 1380 01:02:45,195 --> 01:02:49,164 [young Juanpa] You can do it, Logan, you can do it. 1381 01:02:49,166 --> 01:02:53,001 You're not supposed to look down, just do it. 1382 01:02:53,003 --> 01:02:55,937 It's gonna go on YouTube. 1383 01:02:55,939 --> 01:02:58,273 [echoing] YouTube, YouTube... 1384 01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:00,542 -You two, you two, you two -[Jenna screams] 1385 01:03:00,544 --> 01:03:02,344 need to land this fucking plane. 1386 01:03:02,346 --> 01:03:04,780 I did not get laid Logan! 1387 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:11,453 -Jenna, do you have service yet? -Er... Yeah. Yeah, yeah here. 1388 01:03:11,989 --> 01:03:13,555 Oh, well, this is great service. 1389 01:03:16,493 --> 01:03:18,860 Go on get the last scoop out of the carton. 1390 01:03:18,862 --> 01:03:21,863 With the squatty potty you get complete elimination. 1391 01:03:21,865 --> 01:03:23,799 -Skip the ad. -I can't, it won't let me. 1392 01:03:23,801 --> 01:03:26,101 Yes, it will give you the best poop of your life, guaranteed. 1393 01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:28,503 Argh! If I die because of this shit! 1394 01:03:29,006 --> 01:03:31,039 Umm. They're good at pooping. 1395 01:03:31,341 --> 01:03:33,308 Hey guys, it Connor and today I'm gonna 1396 01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:35,410 be teaching you how to land a passenger jet. 1397 01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:38,180 Flying is easy and with the right education 1398 01:03:38,182 --> 01:03:39,581 and guidelines almost anyone 1399 01:03:39,583 --> 01:03:41,149 can learn the secrets of flight. 1400 01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:42,818 -Amazing. Ok. -It's easy. 1401 01:03:42,820 --> 01:03:44,186 All you have to do is pay attention-- 1402 01:03:44,188 --> 01:03:46,087 Nobody will watch your stupid videos. 1403 01:03:46,089 --> 01:03:47,189 Leave me alone, Becky. 1404 01:03:47,191 --> 01:03:48,890 Fuck you, Becky! 1405 01:03:48,892 --> 01:03:50,826 I'm telling mom about your abortion. 1406 01:03:50,828 --> 01:03:51,827 Fuck you. 1407 01:03:51,829 --> 01:03:53,962 Cool, okay, here are the basics. 1408 01:03:53,964 --> 01:03:56,031 This is the yoke, it's like the steering wheel 1409 01:03:56,033 --> 01:03:57,399 but here's the thing you need to know, 1410 01:03:57,401 --> 01:03:58,867 the controls are inverted 1411 01:03:58,869 --> 01:04:01,036 so, up is down, and down is up. 1412 01:04:01,338 --> 01:04:02,504 Oh. 1413 01:04:03,907 --> 01:04:05,407 [Connor] This knob controls the flaps. 1414 01:04:05,409 --> 01:04:07,375 The flaps give the plane lift and drag. 1415 01:04:07,377 --> 01:04:10,011 When landing you want the flaps fully extended. 1416 01:04:10,013 --> 01:04:12,414 Remember, were going for maximum air resistance. 1417 01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,883 -Turn the knob. -Okay, okay. 1418 01:04:14,885 --> 01:04:17,152 [electric whirring] 1419 01:04:17,154 --> 01:04:19,487 The most important part of landing is of course the-- 1420 01:04:19,489 --> 01:04:21,256 Connor, your sister said you're 1421 01:04:21,258 --> 01:04:22,891 looking at anime porn again. 1422 01:04:22,893 --> 01:04:24,626 -She's lying. -[mother] That's gross. 1423 01:04:24,628 --> 01:04:26,962 -God damn it, Connor! -Fuck you, Becky! 1424 01:04:26,964 --> 01:04:28,930 When you get your own house you can masturbate then. 1425 01:04:28,932 --> 01:04:31,299 -Okay, let's just skip ahead here. -Yeah, skip that. 1426 01:04:31,301 --> 01:04:34,269 Once you've done that it's time to engage the auto pilot, 1427 01:04:34,271 --> 01:04:37,939 the plane with literally land itself, how cool is that? 1428 01:04:40,577 --> 01:04:41,509 It's okay. 1429 01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:45,013 -[clatters] -No, my phone. 1430 01:04:45,015 --> 01:04:46,348 [exhaling] Okay. 1431 01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:48,216 Hey what's that? What is--? 1432 01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:51,653 -[engine rumbles] -[mechanical whirring] 1433 01:04:51,655 --> 01:04:53,521 [Benji] By the grace of Steve Irwin 1434 01:04:53,523 --> 01:04:55,624 you're still magically on course. 1435 01:04:55,626 --> 01:04:58,226 -Way to go, mate. -Benji, is that you? 1436 01:04:58,896 --> 01:05:01,029 Sure is, mate, and by the look of it 1437 01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:02,898 you're still not out of the woods yet. 1438 01:05:03,233 --> 01:05:05,634 -What? -You're still quite fucked. 1439 01:05:05,636 --> 01:05:08,270 -How fucked? -Mate, you're missing an engine, you're running out of fuel, 1440 01:05:08,272 --> 01:05:10,972 and you're dropping like a dead albatross with diabetes. 1441 01:05:10,974 --> 01:05:13,108 Now normally I'd say check the cross winds, 1442 01:05:13,110 --> 01:05:14,409 20 knots from the southeast 1443 01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:15,677 but I'd bet my last dollar I do 1444 01:05:15,679 --> 01:05:17,078 you don't understand a word of that. 1445 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,047 Yeah no shit I don't, Benji. 1446 01:05:19,049 --> 01:05:21,416 Just try to land on the white line, fly straight and pray 1447 01:05:21,418 --> 01:05:24,085 you don't explode on contact. And Logan. 1448 01:05:24,554 --> 01:05:26,454 -[Logan] What? -You owe me a dollar you do. 1449 01:05:26,456 --> 01:05:30,158 -I fucking hate you Benji! -Hey lose the tude, mate. 1450 01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:32,994 Benji, I swear to God if I survive this I'm-- 1451 01:05:32,996 --> 01:05:35,463 Oi, wait a second, would you look at that? 1452 01:05:35,465 --> 01:05:37,198 That koala looks like Hugh Jackman. 1453 01:05:37,668 --> 01:05:39,301 I got to go bag me that koala. 1454 01:05:39,937 --> 01:05:41,236 Man the fort, Hansen. 1455 01:05:43,140 --> 01:05:45,340 Fuck the baby, I don't want to die. 1456 01:05:46,043 --> 01:05:48,176 [screaming] 1457 01:05:48,178 --> 01:05:49,210 [panting] 1458 01:05:49,212 --> 01:05:50,946 [screaming] 1459 01:05:53,417 --> 01:05:55,217 [Jenna screams] 1460 01:05:55,218 --> 01:05:57,018 -[engine rumbles] -[clattering] 1461 01:05:57,020 --> 01:05:58,086 [both screaming] 1462 01:05:58,088 --> 01:06:00,322 [all screaming] 1463 01:06:04,161 --> 01:06:06,962 -[monkey screeching] -Aw! What-- 1464 01:06:07,331 --> 01:06:10,598 -[Jenna] What the fuck? -Get this fucking monkey off me. 1465 01:06:12,402 --> 01:06:13,335 Don't touch her. 1466 01:06:17,975 --> 01:06:19,574 [all screaming] 1467 01:06:23,714 --> 01:06:25,380 [swooshing] 1468 01:06:31,121 --> 01:06:32,020 [tires squealing] 1469 01:06:32,022 --> 01:06:33,288 [screaming] 1470 01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:35,290 Oh my god, Logan, Logan. 1471 01:06:35,726 --> 01:06:37,492 -Logan, we landed. -What? 1472 01:06:37,494 --> 01:06:40,095 -We landed. -Oh shit, oh my god. 1473 01:06:42,032 --> 01:06:42,998 We did it. 1474 01:06:45,202 --> 01:06:48,036 Oh, wait we're not stopping, why aren't we stopping? 1475 01:06:48,038 --> 01:06:49,037 All you have to do. 1476 01:06:49,039 --> 01:06:50,071 [both] Connor! 1477 01:06:50,073 --> 01:06:52,040 Okay, once you've landed 1478 01:06:52,042 --> 01:06:54,275 you're gonna want to hit the breaks with both feet. 1479 01:06:54,277 --> 01:06:55,143 [swishing] 1480 01:06:55,145 --> 01:06:56,611 Brakes. 1481 01:06:56,613 --> 01:06:57,645 [screaming] 1482 01:06:57,647 --> 01:07:00,081 [tires screeching] 1483 01:07:03,453 --> 01:07:06,388 Thanks for watching and don't forget to subscribe. 1484 01:07:06,390 --> 01:07:08,523 [cheering and applauding] 1485 01:07:14,097 --> 01:07:15,330 [engine powering down] 1486 01:07:15,332 --> 01:07:16,798 Oh my god, you did it. 1487 01:07:18,335 --> 01:07:19,401 [exhaling] 1488 01:07:19,669 --> 01:07:21,703 No Jenna, we did it. 1489 01:07:22,305 --> 01:07:25,073 Please don't ruin the moment with your cheesy bullshit. 1490 01:07:30,414 --> 01:07:31,279 [boom] 1491 01:07:31,281 --> 01:07:32,213 [Jenna screams] 1492 01:07:35,352 --> 01:07:36,651 We should probably get off this thing. 1493 01:07:36,653 --> 01:07:38,219 Following a hijacking 1494 01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:41,489 and an engine failure on board flight 1524 1495 01:07:41,491 --> 01:07:44,325 an incredible chain of events has led to the rescue-- 1496 01:07:44,327 --> 01:07:46,294 Fuck her right in the pussy. 1497 01:07:47,197 --> 01:07:48,496 [screaming] 1498 01:07:48,498 --> 01:07:50,665 [laughing] Awesome! 1499 01:07:51,268 --> 01:07:52,200 [screams] 1500 01:07:53,136 --> 01:07:55,270 [upbeat music] 1501 01:07:58,175 --> 01:07:59,307 [Benji] Aye, mate. 1502 01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:00,642 Benji? 1503 01:08:00,644 --> 01:08:02,410 You're actually alive. 1504 01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:04,245 I owe you a dollar I do. 1505 01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:05,613 Don't worry about that. 1506 01:08:05,615 --> 01:08:07,782 Genuinely surprised to see you alive. 1507 01:08:07,784 --> 01:08:10,452 Took a lot of guts to do what you did today. 1508 01:08:10,454 --> 01:08:11,453 -[whacks] -[Benji grunting] 1509 01:08:16,860 --> 01:08:18,126 Hey buddy. 1510 01:08:18,128 --> 01:08:19,194 Hey man. 1511 01:08:19,196 --> 01:08:20,128 So? 1512 01:08:22,165 --> 01:08:25,700 -I failed, Log, I failed. -Aw. 1513 01:08:26,703 --> 01:08:29,437 -Oh, come on. -I guess blue balls is real. 1514 01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:30,705 It hurts, it hurts man. 1515 01:08:30,707 --> 01:08:33,174 No, eh, eh, don't say that man. 1516 01:08:33,510 --> 01:08:35,543 -You're still alive. -I guess. 1517 01:08:36,513 --> 01:08:39,881 Your foreign exchange brother is still a virgin. 1518 01:08:40,484 --> 01:08:43,852 No man, my brother is still a virgin. 1519 01:08:47,524 --> 01:08:48,890 Such a tender moment. 1520 01:08:49,693 --> 01:08:50,625 Hey. 1521 01:08:51,228 --> 01:08:51,893 Hey. 1522 01:08:51,895 --> 01:08:53,528 [Juanpa crying] 1523 01:08:56,266 --> 01:08:57,866 [screaming] 1524 01:08:58,268 --> 01:09:00,869 Eugene, is that really you? 1525 01:09:01,571 --> 01:09:03,705 It's been 70 years. 1526 01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:07,408 The last orgasm I had was in Normandy in your mouth. 1527 01:09:07,410 --> 01:09:10,311 Consider it VD day. 1528 01:09:16,253 --> 01:09:17,552 Bombs away. 1529 01:09:17,554 --> 01:09:18,486 [moaning] 1530 01:09:19,589 --> 01:09:20,522 Uh... 1531 01:09:21,291 --> 01:09:22,824 So Australia's pretty nice huh? 1532 01:09:23,593 --> 01:09:24,526 [Jenna] Yeah. 1533 01:09:26,563 --> 01:09:27,495 Yeah. 1534 01:09:29,199 --> 01:09:29,931 Er-- 1535 01:09:29,933 --> 01:09:32,567 -Does it like hurt? Aw. -Ow, ow, no I'm fine. 1536 01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:34,202 -Okay. -I got a bandage. 1537 01:09:35,539 --> 01:09:37,705 -You did good driving that plane. -Thanks. 1538 01:09:38,875 --> 01:09:40,475 Couldn't have done it without my co-pilot. 1539 01:09:41,645 --> 01:09:43,545 What did I tell you about being cheesy? 1540 01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:46,514 -To not be cheesy. -Yeah, definitely stop. 1541 01:09:46,716 --> 01:09:48,449 [baby crying] 1542 01:09:50,287 --> 01:09:53,788 So I've looked everywhere and I can't find him. 1543 01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:55,456 Aw! 1544 01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:59,661 I think it safe to say that your baby's gone. 1545 01:09:59,663 --> 01:10:02,397 [dramatic music] 1546 01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:05,266 Have you considered adoption maybe? 1547 01:10:06,736 --> 01:10:10,738 I mean no, I, I thought I'd find him on the plane, you know? 1548 01:10:10,740 --> 01:10:13,641 Right. That's horrible. 1549 01:10:14,411 --> 01:10:15,877 Well, here's some good news. 1550 01:10:16,813 --> 01:10:18,713 When that plane was going down 1551 01:10:18,715 --> 01:10:20,381 and I thought we were all dead, 1552 01:10:21,251 --> 01:10:24,819 I had one split second to ejaculate into this Tupperware 1553 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,422 so I could let my seed live on. 1554 01:10:27,924 --> 01:10:29,524 I made this out of my penis. 1555 01:10:29,926 --> 01:10:32,860 Put it in your vagina, make a new baby. 1556 01:10:34,231 --> 01:10:37,565 Oh my god, this is the nicest thing 1557 01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:39,300 any man's ever done for me. 1558 01:10:39,302 --> 01:10:40,235 It's pretty great. 1559 01:10:42,872 --> 01:10:43,871 -Thank you. -Yeah. 1560 01:10:43,872 --> 01:10:44,871 But it still doesn't bring my baby back. 1561 01:10:45,909 --> 01:10:47,308 What your old baby? 1562 01:10:47,744 --> 01:10:49,577 -Yeah. -This is a brand new baby. 1563 01:10:50,380 --> 01:10:52,513 You ungrateful bitch. 1564 01:10:52,515 --> 01:10:54,749 Give me my seed back you don't deserve it. 1565 01:10:55,018 --> 01:10:56,451 You do not deserve-- 1566 01:10:56,653 --> 01:10:57,652 [slurping] 1567 01:10:57,654 --> 01:11:01,856 No I'm sorry, spit it out, spit it out put it back in my vagina. 1568 01:11:01,858 --> 01:11:04,292 -Too late! It's too late! -I'm sorry! 1569 01:11:04,294 --> 01:11:05,727 You've wasted my seed! 1570 01:11:05,729 --> 01:11:10,398 No, I'm sorry, put it back in my vagina please. 1571 01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:11,666 Please, please. 1572 01:11:11,668 --> 01:11:17,939 [laughing] It's going back into my penis, I can feel it. 1573 01:11:18,375 --> 01:11:21,276 -I have nothing else to live for. -[man rumbling] 1574 01:11:21,544 --> 01:11:23,411 I'm getting hard! 1575 01:11:24,447 --> 01:11:25,647 I guess this is goodbye. 1576 01:11:25,649 --> 01:11:28,616 Yup, I hope everything works out with your girlfriend. 1577 01:11:29,686 --> 01:11:30,652 That was really brave. 1578 01:11:30,854 --> 01:11:33,021 -[Lele] Come here. -Bye. 1579 01:11:33,490 --> 01:11:35,857 [man] Thank you so much, I woke up on the toilet. 1580 01:11:35,859 --> 01:11:36,758 Jenna wait. 1581 01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:37,992 Thank you so much. 1582 01:11:39,596 --> 01:11:40,762 I don't even know you people. 1583 01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:42,397 -I'm your brother. -I know you. 1584 01:11:44,334 --> 01:11:47,402 [upbeat music] 1585 01:11:50,373 --> 01:11:51,306 [tires screeching] 1586 01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:53,441 Okay, here we go. 1587 01:11:58,615 --> 01:11:59,547 You're excited? 1588 01:12:01,651 --> 01:12:03,685 -Yeah. [chuckles] -This is it, right? 1589 01:12:03,687 --> 01:12:04,752 This is it. This is it. 1590 01:12:09,025 --> 01:12:10,425 Are you sure about this? 1591 01:12:10,694 --> 01:12:11,626 [exhales] 1592 01:12:11,628 --> 01:12:14,595 I've never been so sure about anything in my life. 1593 01:12:16,866 --> 01:12:17,799 Logan! 1594 01:12:18,702 --> 01:12:20,535 Eh, yeah, it's me. 1595 01:12:20,770 --> 01:12:22,070 Er, I'm Logan. 1596 01:12:22,972 --> 01:12:25,373 Wait, you're not Logan. 1597 01:12:26,476 --> 01:12:28,643 -You sound different. -Yeah. 1598 01:12:29,746 --> 01:12:32,714 I'm his foreign exchange brother Juanpa. 1599 01:12:33,016 --> 01:12:34,882 -Mexico. -So? 1600 01:12:35,919 --> 01:12:37,085 And I have an accent. 1601 01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:39,053 [clears throat] 1602 01:12:41,424 --> 01:12:42,824 [both screaming] 1603 01:12:43,026 --> 01:12:46,060 What? No, no, I can't understand you though. 1604 01:12:46,062 --> 01:12:47,628 -Can you say that again? -[drum music] 1605 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,665 One more time, just, just say it one more time. 1606 01:12:50,867 --> 01:12:52,066 [door banging] 1607 01:12:54,003 --> 01:12:57,638 Okay, okay, don't say anything cheesy. 1608 01:12:58,742 --> 01:13:02,076 Jenna? It took me traveling half way around the world to realize 1609 01:13:02,078 --> 01:13:04,512 -that I love you. -[Jenna] I'm sorry your accent is just gnarly, 1610 01:13:04,514 --> 01:13:05,980 can you please just repeat yourself? 1611 01:13:05,982 --> 01:13:08,383 Okay, uh, I guess you worked out 1612 01:13:08,385 --> 01:13:09,484 everything with your boyfriend. 1613 01:13:10,053 --> 01:13:12,854 Oh, yeah, the guac is extra, 1614 01:13:12,856 --> 01:13:14,589 I got it, I got it, I got it. 1615 01:13:14,791 --> 01:13:18,059 [man voiceover] Who was that guy, he's fucking hot. 1616 01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:24,165 You're gay, you're a gay man, yeah! 1617 01:13:24,167 --> 01:13:26,634 Oh my god, so are you. 1618 01:13:26,636 --> 01:13:29,137 -No, no, I'm, I'm here for her, so. -Logan? 1619 01:13:29,139 --> 01:13:31,572 But, but, but just one kiss, that's all I ask. 1620 01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:34,075 Okay, fine, but then you have to leave. 1621 01:13:35,979 --> 01:13:37,779 Now get out. 1622 01:13:38,181 --> 01:13:39,480 Wait, how did you hear my thoughts? 1623 01:13:39,482 --> 01:13:40,415 [door bangs] 1624 01:13:44,921 --> 01:13:46,454 [drum music] 1625 01:13:46,456 --> 01:13:48,990 Whoa yeah, I guess I always thought you were a little bit-- 1626 01:13:48,992 --> 01:13:52,059 [upbeat music] 1627 01:13:56,466 --> 01:13:57,698 [screaming and laughing] 1628 01:13:57,700 --> 01:13:59,066 [panting and moaning] 1629 01:14:01,571 --> 01:14:03,471 -Yeah, take it off. -Yeah. 1630 01:14:03,473 --> 01:14:05,139 -Hurry up. -I will, I will. 1631 01:14:05,141 --> 01:14:07,208 Oh yeah. I'm going there. 1632 01:14:07,210 --> 01:14:09,076 -Oh yeah. -Hurry up. 1633 01:14:09,746 --> 01:14:12,747 -Why can't you get it off? -Yeah, yeah I got it. 1634 01:14:13,716 --> 01:14:16,784 -Is-- er-- aw-- Wait, stop. -Trying. 1635 01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:18,920 -Is this the right hole? -[Ariel] No, no, 1636 01:14:18,922 --> 01:14:20,655 -no, no. -No, no? Yes? 1637 01:14:20,657 --> 01:14:22,123 -No? Okay, yeah. -[Ariel] There it is, yeah. 1638 01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:23,791 -Yeah, no, this one? -[Ariel] Yeah, right there. 1639 01:14:23,793 --> 01:14:25,226 Okay, okay, okay. 1640 01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:28,563 -Juanpa, Juanpa. -[Juanpa screams] 1641 01:14:28,565 --> 01:14:30,731 Oh, oh this feels amazing. 1642 01:14:30,733 --> 01:14:33,568 -I love your accent. -I love your accent. 1643 01:14:33,570 --> 01:14:35,236 Talk dirty to me in Mexican. 1644 01:14:35,238 --> 01:14:36,838 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -[ Ariel] Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1645 01:14:54,057 --> 01:14:55,990 [both moaning] 1646 01:14:55,992 --> 01:14:57,925 Wait I, I have to know. 1647 01:14:57,927 --> 01:14:59,727 What happened, like, did she have a penis? 1648 01:14:59,729 --> 01:15:02,163 [screaming and laughing] 1649 01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:05,500 What the fuck? 1650 01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:08,069 Daddy, I thought you were gone. 1651 01:15:08,538 --> 01:15:13,174 [screaming] Oh my god, your dad is black. I mean that's, that's cool, he's black. 1652 01:15:13,877 --> 01:15:15,977 I can't stop, I can't stop. 1653 01:15:15,979 --> 01:15:18,980 [screaming] 1654 01:15:19,616 --> 01:15:22,016 -[Ariel] Daddy you have-- -[screaming] 1655 01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:23,918 -Your dad's black. -I'm adopted. 1656 01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:27,288 Oh my god, I'm adopted too, we have so much in common. 1657 01:15:27,290 --> 01:15:29,524 Swear I'm gonna kill your dumb ass. 1658 01:15:29,526 --> 01:15:30,925 I love you, Juanpa. 1659 01:15:30,927 --> 01:15:32,793 It's pronounced Juanpa. 1660 01:15:32,795 --> 01:15:33,895 I'm whooping your ass. 1661 01:15:33,897 --> 01:15:35,530 Run Juanpa, run. 1662 01:15:35,532 --> 01:15:38,099 Daddy stop, run, go, go. 1663 01:15:39,636 --> 01:15:40,668 [grunting] 1664 01:15:41,771 --> 01:15:42,970 -[screaming] -[bug screeching] 1665 01:15:42,972 --> 01:15:44,906 Get it off, please! 1666 01:15:44,908 --> 01:15:45,907 [swooshing] 1667 01:15:45,909 --> 01:15:48,109 ["Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora playing] 1668 01:15:49,312 --> 01:15:51,712 I love you, Juanpa. 1669 01:15:53,249 --> 01:15:56,117 -I love you my awesome princess. -You're just like your mother. 1670 01:15:56,119 --> 01:15:57,885 -I love you so much. -Put some clothes on. 1671 01:15:57,887 --> 01:16:00,187 -I have clothes on. -Nice to meet you, sir. 1672 01:16:00,189 --> 01:16:03,090 [dad] I'm gonna cut your dick off and feed it to the drop bears. 1673 01:16:03,092 --> 01:16:04,792 Motherfucker I'm going to kill you. 1674 01:16:04,794 --> 01:16:06,994 -Daddy, stop it. -[dad] Get back here. 1675 01:16:06,996 --> 01:16:09,964 Run, Juanpa run! 1676 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,900 Well not bad. 1677 01:16:13,303 --> 01:16:17,171 ¶ Jungle life I'm living in the open ¶ 1678 01:16:17,774 --> 01:16:21,676 ¶ Native beat that carries on ¶ 1679 01:16:22,145 --> 01:16:25,613 ¶ Burning bright A fire that blows the-- ¶ 1680 01:16:25,615 --> 01:16:27,915 Hey Mr. Kangaroo, I just had sex, 1681 01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:30,718 go tell all your kangaroo friends I just had sex. 1682 01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:32,720 -Come on give me a fist bump. -[kangaroo whistles] 1683 01:16:32,722 --> 01:16:34,355 Alright, let's go, let's go man, let's celebrate. 1684 01:16:34,357 --> 01:16:39,293 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1685 01:16:39,295 --> 01:16:42,930 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1686 01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:46,133 Today we're gonna learn how to make a hang glider 1687 01:16:46,135 --> 01:16:48,769 out of cardboard, duct tape, and a chin up bar-- 1688 01:16:48,771 --> 01:16:51,238 No one's gonna watch your stupid videos, Connor. 1689 01:16:51,240 --> 01:16:53,608 -[bangs] -[Logan screams] 1690 01:16:53,610 --> 01:16:54,775 Logan Paul! 1691 01:16:54,777 --> 01:16:56,143 You're a fucking hero, Connor. 1692 01:16:56,145 --> 01:16:58,279 -[Becky] Logan, I love you. -Shut up, Becky! 1693 01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:01,148 -Let's make that hang glider, buddy. -Yeah! 1694 01:17:02,685 --> 01:17:04,251 [screaming] 1695 01:17:04,854 --> 01:17:09,857 Argh! My femurs. Aw! I can see my bones! 1696 01:17:09,859 --> 01:17:13,628 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1697 01:17:13,630 --> 01:17:18,065 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1698 01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:22,236 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1699 01:17:22,238 --> 01:17:27,308 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1700 01:17:29,646 --> 01:17:30,662 ¶ Night tonight ¶ 1701 01:17:30,663 --> 01:17:31,679 ¶ Give me the other Give me the other ¶ 1702 01:17:31,681 --> 01:17:32,647 ¶ Chance tonight ¶ 1703 01:17:34,017 --> 01:17:36,083 ¶ Give me the other Give me the other ¶ 1704 01:17:36,085 --> 01:17:37,718 ¶ Night to night ¶ 1705 01:17:38,287 --> 01:17:43,391 ¶ Give me the other Give me the other world! ¶ 1706 01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:48,029 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1707 01:17:48,031 --> 01:17:51,232 [waves crashing] 1708 01:17:52,235 --> 01:17:53,734 [screams] 1709 01:17:54,404 --> 01:17:57,004 [screaming and laughing] 1710 01:17:57,373 --> 01:17:58,439 Ow! 1711 01:18:02,211 --> 01:18:03,878 Bitch, you saved my life. 1712 01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:08,282 [sighs] 1713 01:18:08,284 --> 01:18:09,817 [upbeat rock music] 119745

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