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1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:05,503
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,571 --> 00:00:08,506
♪ Traveled down the roadand back again
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,175
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:15,013
♪ You're a pal and a confidant
5
00:00:16,448 --> 00:00:19,684
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:19,752 --> 00:00:23,421
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,191
♪ You would see
8
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:28,659
♪ The biggest giftwould be from me
9
00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:31,629
♪ And the card attachedwould say
10
00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:37,335
♪ Thank youfor being a friend ♪
11
00:01:02,995 --> 00:01:04,329
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
12
00:01:05,431 --> 00:01:08,800
Hello? You wanna talk to who?
13
00:01:08,867 --> 00:01:12,137
Dorothy? Sorry, you must've
dialed the wrong number.
14
00:01:14,573 --> 00:01:16,641
Blanche, what do you mean,
wrong number?
15
00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:19,377
Oh, it was a man,
so I just assumed...
16
00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:20,678
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
17
00:01:22,481 --> 00:01:24,515
Hello? Yes, this is she.
18
00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,820
I don't believe it!
19
00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:31,289
Well... Oh, that's great.
20
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:32,557
Why don't you come here?
21
00:01:32,624 --> 00:01:33,758
We'll have lunch.
22
00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:35,026
(LAUGHING)
23
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:37,128
Oh, fine.
24
00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:39,464
Fine, I'll see you then.
Bye-bye.
25
00:01:42,134 --> 00:01:43,969
Well?
Well, what?
26
00:01:44,036 --> 00:01:46,604
Oh, now, Dorothy, fess up.
I know that was a man.
27
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:48,639
I can always tell
when a man calls
28
00:01:48,707 --> 00:01:51,142
'cause you start sweatin' and
get a bad case of the giggles.
29
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:52,243
I do not.
30
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:53,611
(GIGGLING)
31
00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:56,914
All right, talk.
32
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,716
It's no big deal.
33
00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:01,186
That was my 11th grade English
teacher from back in Brooklyn,
34
00:02:01,253 --> 00:02:02,253
Mr. Gordon.
35
00:02:02,321 --> 00:02:03,788
He's moved to Miami,
36
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:06,024
and he wants to get together
tomorrow for lunch.
37
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,258
End of story.
38
00:02:07,326 --> 00:02:08,326
(GIGGLING)
39
00:02:09,928 --> 00:02:11,863
Ah, Mr. Gordon.
40
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:14,065
Dorothy had a huge
embarrassing crush on him.
41
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,168
She was his slave.
She graded his papers, did his laundry.
42
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:21,206
Once,
she even rotated his tires.
43
00:02:21,273 --> 00:02:24,575
Boy, that stroke didn't make you
forget a thing, did it, Ma?
44
00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:30,315
A crush on the teacher.
Ah, I had those.
45
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:33,718
Course, I had to hide them because
they made the principal jealous.
46
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:39,457
Actually, though, once, I did have
a fling with the calculus teacher.
47
00:02:39,525 --> 00:02:41,059
Oh, and did you get an A?
48
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:43,995
(SCOFFS) More like
a full scholarship to MIT.
49
00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:48,699
My Dorothy didn't date
teachers in high school.
50
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:53,405
She dated losers like Stan who knocked
her up and ruined her life forever.
51
00:02:53,472 --> 00:02:57,242
It would be like a day without
orange juice, wouldn't it, Ma?
52
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,945
Girls, guess what?
53
00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:03,714
They gave me another job
at the television station.
54
00:03:03,782 --> 00:03:06,451
The old
associate producer quit,
55
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,054
so now I am
the new associate producer
56
00:03:09,121 --> 00:03:10,755
of the Wake-Up! Miami show.
57
00:03:10,822 --> 00:03:13,291
They even gave me
a nameplate for my desk.
58
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,894
"Harold Goldstein,
Associate Producer."
59
00:03:16,962 --> 00:03:18,096
Isn't it exciting?
60
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,964
Oh, congratulations, Harold.
61
00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:21,533
That's great.
62
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,968
We've already had
our first meeting.
63
00:03:24,036 --> 00:03:25,903
I suggested we do a show
64
00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:28,940
about women who live together,
and they jumped on it.
65
00:03:29,007 --> 00:03:31,176
Well, Rose,
that's a great idea.
66
00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:33,010
We already have
two women lined up.
67
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,645
We just have to find two more.
68
00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:37,715
Why, my God, Rose,
open your eyes!
69
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:40,485
This is exactly the kind of
exposure I've been lookin' for.
70
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,053
Please,
enough of your exposure.
71
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:43,821
We've already lost
three gardeners.
72
00:03:45,857 --> 00:03:49,060
No, wait, Dorothy,
this is a wonderful idea.
73
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,196
I mean, you and Blanche
live together.
74
00:03:51,263 --> 00:03:52,397
Why don't you do the show?
75
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,764
Oh, I would love to.
76
00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:55,233
You know,
I wouldn't mind doing it.
77
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,470
I mean, there are some very important
issues I'd like to discuss.
78
00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:00,271
What the hell.
I'll do it, too.
79
00:04:00,339 --> 00:04:01,939
Oh, sorry, Sophia.
80
00:04:02,007 --> 00:04:04,175
There's only room for two
more guests on the panel.
81
00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:06,311
That's not fair.
Why should I be left out?
82
00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:09,147
If I don't do it,
Dorothy won't do it.
83
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,449
So, when do you want me there?
84
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,819
Hi, girls.
85
00:04:14,886 --> 00:04:16,854
Oh, Dorothy,
don't you look nice.
86
00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:18,789
Well, thank you, Rose.
87
00:04:18,857 --> 00:04:21,092
Mr. Gordon is coming over
for lunch today.
88
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,860
We're having it
out on the lanai.
89
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:25,230
So that's why you're acting like
it's the first day of school.
90
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:26,664
Mr. Gordon is coming over.
91
00:04:26,732 --> 00:04:28,600
(IMITATING KISSING)
92
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,635
Mother, just stop that.
93
00:04:30,702 --> 00:04:33,871
Mr. Gordon is probably
over 70 by now.
94
00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:35,373
He's practically ancient.
95
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,442
Seventy is ancient?
96
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:39,910
If I met a man that age
who looked halfway decent,
97
00:04:39,978 --> 00:04:41,412
I'd be on my back
before you could say,
98
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,181
"I've fallen
and I can't get up."
99
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:51,356
That's great, Ma.
That's really beautiful.
100
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,958
But there's nothing like that
between me and Mr. Gordon.
101
00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:56,661
If you don't believe me, why
don't you join us for lunch?
102
00:04:56,728 --> 00:04:58,062
Join you for lunch?
103
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,431
Let me check
my social calendar.
104
00:05:00,499 --> 00:05:01,999
(DOORBELL RINGING)
105
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:04,068
Oh, okay, I'm free.
106
00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:07,172
Ma, that calendar's from 1984.
107
00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:10,675
Oh, yeah, this is the day
I escaped from Shady Pines.
108
00:05:10,742 --> 00:05:13,678
It says right here,
"I'm free! I'm free!"
109
00:05:16,114 --> 00:05:18,249
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, Mr. Gordon.
110
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,418
Dorothy, you look wonderful.
111
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,521
(GIRLISHLY) Oh, thank you,
Mr. Gordon.
112
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:26,524
Hey, no more of that Mr.
Gordon stuff. It's Malcolm.
113
00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:28,859
Absolutely, Mr. Malcolm.
114
00:05:28,927 --> 00:05:30,061
(GIGGLING)
115
00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:32,297
Come, meet my roommates.
116
00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:37,569
Uh, Blanche, Rose, my mother
Sophia, Malcolm Gordon.
117
00:05:37,636 --> 00:05:39,404
Yeah, of course.
Mrs. Petrillo.
118
00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:42,340
We met before. You were having
a problem with my son, Phil.
119
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:43,474
Oh, right.
120
00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:44,975
The problem
with the dress code.
121
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:46,444
I still don't understand
the problem.
122
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,079
He was wearing a dress.
123
00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:53,050
My goodness, you're as cute
as Dorothy said you'd be.
124
00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:54,352
That never happens.
125
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,688
(MALCOLM CHUCKLING)
126
00:05:56,755 --> 00:05:59,957
Well, a lot of my ex-students were
surprised that I wasn't older,
127
00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:01,226
but, uh, they failed to realize
128
00:06:01,293 --> 00:06:02,827
I started teaching
right out of college.
129
00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:04,629
I really wasn't much older
than they were.
130
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,864
Well, I--I guess
when you're 17,
131
00:06:06,932 --> 00:06:11,636
23 can seem rather dangerous
and forbidden.
132
00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:17,975
When you're 17, a cow can
seem dangerous and forbidden.
133
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,018
Am I alone here?
134
00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:31,889
Well, uh, why don't we
go out to the lanai?
135
00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:32,990
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
136
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:34,091
Wait a minute.
137
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,326
Didn't you forget something?
138
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:38,028
Oh, yes, of course.
Goodbye, Mother.
139
00:06:38,096 --> 00:06:41,165
What? What, goodbye?
You invited me to lunch.
140
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:43,834
Rain check, rain check.
141
00:06:43,902 --> 00:06:47,438
I think that is a lovely idea,
Mrs. Petrillo.
142
00:06:47,506 --> 00:06:49,440
Don't worry, Dorothy.
I'll be on my best behavior.
143
00:06:49,508 --> 00:06:51,709
I won't say or do anything
to embarrass you.
144
00:06:52,544 --> 00:06:54,178
Oh, wait.
145
00:06:54,246 --> 00:06:57,615
Goofy pictures of Dorothy
when she was a kid.
146
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,850
Might as well have
a couple of laughs over lunch.
147
00:06:59,918 --> 00:07:01,185
(BOTH LAUGHING)
148
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,924
Oh, here's a picture of
Dorothy's ninth birthday party.
149
00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:08,793
Look how scared
the clown looks.
150
00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:14,098
You know, I can't believe you
actually got a clown for my birthday.
151
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,501
I can still see
his big red nose
152
00:07:16,568 --> 00:07:19,804
and those huge black circles
around his eyes.
153
00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:22,507
Oh, he wasn't a real clown.
He was a friend of your father's.
154
00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:24,542
He'd been beaten up
the night before.
155
00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:28,212
We gave him a couple of bucks.
156
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,914
I guess that's why
he kept saying,
157
00:07:29,981 --> 00:07:33,785
"Now, remember, kids,
nobody likes a squealer."
158
00:07:33,852 --> 00:07:35,620
Here are some pictures
of Dorothy at 11,
159
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,322
a hilariously awkward age
for her.
160
00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:38,456
(CHUCKLING)
161
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:40,991
Ma, enough with the pictures.
162
00:07:41,059 --> 00:07:42,694
Why don't you
get us some coffee?
163
00:07:42,761 --> 00:07:44,429
'Cause it gives me the trots.
164
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:49,600
Oh, I get it.
Company. Company.
165
00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:50,835
Pardon me.
166
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:53,371
She's charming.
167
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,972
Oh, you're very kind.
168
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,008
I'm sorry she bored you
with all these old pictures.
169
00:07:58,076 --> 00:08:00,144
Nonsense, I enjoyed it.
170
00:08:00,912 --> 00:08:03,381
Oh. Look.
171
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:05,650
Look, your graduation picture.
172
00:08:06,585 --> 00:08:08,285
You were such a lovely girl.
173
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:11,789
(GIGGLING)
Oh, I never felt that way.
174
00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:15,125
I always felt awkward and
clumsy, except in your class.
175
00:08:15,193 --> 00:08:20,030
You made me feel intelligent
and beautiful and special.
176
00:08:20,098 --> 00:08:21,899
I never forgot that.
177
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:24,702
And I have never forgotten you.
178
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,538
(GIGGLING)
179
00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:30,007
So, how do you like
being retired?
180
00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:33,611
Actually, I intend to work.
I just got my first assignment
181
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,313
to write an article
for the book review section.
182
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,983
I'm a little nervous.
It's due next week.
183
00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:42,186
Oh, well, now you know
how we used to feel
184
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:44,689
when you would assign us
a book report.
185
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,424
I remember
that crazy excuse you used
186
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,659
when you didn't hand your paper in.
What was it?
187
00:08:48,727 --> 00:08:51,596
Oh, that you'd married that
kid, Stan, what's his name?
188
00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:54,732
Gee, I don't remember.
189
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,368
I'm having a little trouble
getting started.
190
00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,270
I can't seem to get
my thoughts organized.
191
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:02,640
Well, uh, maybe
you'd like a little help.
192
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,476
Really? I certainly
could use a little.
193
00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,044
Well, I'd be happy to.
194
00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:09,781
Well, that is great.
We'll start tomorrow.
195
00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:13,484
Oh. No, I'm doing a TV show
tomorrow morning.
196
00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:16,220
A TV show?
Well, I'm impressed.
197
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,589
Well, no, it's just
a little old local show,
198
00:09:18,657 --> 00:09:22,660
but they're anxious to get
my views on women's issues.
199
00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:27,765
Hey, why don't you come to the studio,
and we can start right after?
200
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:28,999
Perfect.
201
00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,268
Just perfect.
202
00:09:31,336 --> 00:09:32,369
(CHUCKLING)
203
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:36,140
Dorothy, to us.
204
00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:42,279
More goofy pictures!
205
00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:43,981
(CHUCKLING)
206
00:09:44,049 --> 00:09:45,382
Here's Dorothy
in her wedding gown.
207
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:47,051
Look how scared
the groom looks.
208
00:09:47,118 --> 00:09:48,118
(LAUGHING)
209
00:09:54,225 --> 00:09:55,526
Okay, come on, Blanche.
210
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:57,094
You're on in one minute.
211
00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:59,964
You sit over there, and--and,
Dorothy, you get touched up,
212
00:10:00,031 --> 00:10:02,967
and, Sophia, come on, I'll see if I
can find you a seat in the audience.
213
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,602
Hurry up, honey. Here.
214
00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:12,810
Dorothy?
Well, you look lovely.
215
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:14,946
Oh.
For your television debut.
216
00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:17,314
Oh, they're beautiful.
217
00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:19,350
Dorothy?
218
00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:23,253
Good luck.
219
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:31,929
Come on, Dorothy.
We're starting.
220
00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:38,435
He kissed me.
He gave me flowers.
221
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:41,038
Dorothy, come on,
it's almost time.
222
00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:43,140
Over here, honey. Please.
223
00:10:45,176 --> 00:10:47,144
All right, you sit over there.
Down there, that's it.
224
00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:48,479
What's wrong with her?
225
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,180
Malcolm kissed her.
226
00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:52,149
My God, she's in shock.
227
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,722
He gave me flowers
from a store.
228
00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:00,591
Ladies, good morning.
229
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,259
We go on in about 10 seconds.
230
00:11:02,327 --> 00:11:05,162
Oh! Just relax and
have a fun show, okay?
231
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:08,766
(WAKE-UP! MIAMI THEME MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
232
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,201
Good morning and welcome
to Wake-Up! Miami.
233
00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:13,638
Today, women who live together.
234
00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:15,640
Does society make it tougher?
235
00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:21,412
We'll find out when we talk to four
lesbians today on Wake-Up! Miami.
236
00:11:32,824 --> 00:11:35,259
Rose, could I see you
for moment?
237
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:44,802
You're mad, aren't you?
238
00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:50,441
Rose Nylund, every man I know
is watching this show.
239
00:11:50,508 --> 00:11:51,976
This live show.
240
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:55,546
This live show
about lesbian lovers of Miami.
241
00:11:57,015 --> 00:11:58,983
Every man you know is watching?
242
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,285
Hey, we could beat
The Price Is Right.
243
00:12:04,155 --> 00:12:07,625
Rose, we can't kill you here
because there are cameras.
244
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,427
Now, how did this happen?
245
00:12:10,495 --> 00:12:12,229
Oh, I don't know.
246
00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:14,632
They just said they wanted two
women who loved each other
247
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,433
and slept together.
248
00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:19,804
We do not sleep together!
249
00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:21,672
Yes, you did.
250
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,842
Last month, when...
When Blanche was having her room repainted
251
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,912
because the plaster behind
her headboard all fell out.
252
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:33,918
We're back
in 30 seconds, ladies.
253
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,987
Listen, I'm not gonna do this.
254
00:12:36,054 --> 00:12:38,055
Blanche, if you leave,
they'll fire me.
255
00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:39,256
Good.
256
00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:42,259
My mother is here.
257
00:12:42,327 --> 00:12:44,328
My teacher is here. Good.
258
00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:48,666
If I lose my job, I won't be
able to do anything but sit home
259
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:50,901
and tell St. Olaf stories.
260
00:12:53,204 --> 00:12:55,205
Blackmail.
261
00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:58,643
Oh, very smart.
262
00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:01,912
Hey, they don't call me
Harold Goldstein for nothing.
263
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:05,016
Maybe if we don't say anything,
264
00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,450
we're not on camera that much.
265
00:13:06,518 --> 00:13:09,053
I mean, we can't let Rose
lose her job.
266
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,988
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
267
00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:17,394
We're back.
Let's meet our panelists.
268
00:13:17,462 --> 00:13:19,864
Dorothy, a lesbian.
269
00:13:24,302 --> 00:13:26,737
Blanche, another lesbian.
270
00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:33,744
And Pat and Kathy,
image consultants.
271
00:13:37,115 --> 00:13:39,884
How come they're not lesbians?
272
00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:42,053
We don't believe in labels.
273
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:46,691
Oh, I see we have a question
from the audience.
274
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:49,994
Yes, sir.
275
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:53,197
Are there male/female roles
in the relationship?
276
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:59,970
Well, I am the little homemaker,
if that's what you mean.
277
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,507
Now, wait a minute. Just...
278
00:14:03,575 --> 00:14:05,375
(INAUDIBLE)
279
00:14:09,547 --> 00:14:11,648
And I take out the garbage.
280
00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:16,620
Fascinating, huh?
Any other questions?
281
00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:18,255
Ah, here we go.
282
00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:22,492
This is directed
to Dorothy's lover.
283
00:14:24,562 --> 00:14:28,398
Do people treat you differently
because you're a lesbian?
284
00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:30,634
Well, most people don't know.
285
00:14:31,903 --> 00:14:34,905
Really?
I would've guessed right off.
286
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,813
Next question to Dorothy.
287
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:45,116
What kind of pain
and embarrassment
288
00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:48,152
has this lifestyle
caused your mother?
289
00:14:51,522 --> 00:14:54,825
I really don't know,
but I'll ask her tomorrow
290
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:57,427
when I visit her at the home.
291
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,837
No more questions.
292
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,246
(KETTLE WHISTLING)
293
00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:16,313
Oh.
294
00:15:20,218 --> 00:15:22,153
Not one phone call all day.
295
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:23,520
That's not true, Blanche.
296
00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:25,489
The phone's been ringing
off the hook.
297
00:15:25,556 --> 00:15:30,161
Not one phone call
from a man all day, Rose.
298
00:15:30,228 --> 00:15:32,496
By the way, Dorothy,
if I were a lesbian,
299
00:15:32,563 --> 00:15:33,931
I sure would be a popular one.
300
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:37,301
Look at this, 20 calls.
301
00:15:37,368 --> 00:15:38,735
(CHUCKLING)
302
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:41,005
"Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the..."
303
00:15:41,072 --> 00:15:43,073
Oh, what am I doin'?
304
00:15:44,575 --> 00:15:45,609
Listen to me.
305
00:15:45,677 --> 00:15:47,444
Rose,
I could just strangle you.
306
00:15:47,512 --> 00:15:49,513
So you're still miffed?
307
00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:53,217
Well, I don't mind bein'
labeled a lesbian, honey,
308
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:57,321
but since I'm not, you just
ruined my social life.
309
00:15:57,388 --> 00:16:01,758
Oh, go ahead. Blanche, I'm a
bubblehead and I deserve to die.
310
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:09,033
I said I'm a bubblehead
and I deserve to die.
311
00:16:10,101 --> 00:16:12,203
And it was worth repeating.
312
00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:17,474
Dorothy, I just got off the phone
with my girlfriend Gladys.
313
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:20,344
She thinks you can do better
than Blanche.
314
00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:24,048
I agree, but, Ma,
if it's all right with you,
315
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:25,883
I have a lot of work
to do here.
316
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:28,652
I can't believe you're still
working on that article.
317
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,955
I thought you were just
gonna help organize it.
318
00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:33,090
I can't believe
you're doing this again.
319
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,226
You're letting him take advantage
of you like he did in high school.
320
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,294
He is under a lot of pressure,
321
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:40,164
and I don't want him
to kiss his deadline.
322
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:50,374
Miss. Miss his deadline.
323
00:16:51,409 --> 00:16:52,809
Ooh, Mr. Gordon.
324
00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:54,044
(IMITATING KISSING)
325
00:16:55,280 --> 00:17:00,017
Oh, all right. I admit it.
I do have a little crush,
326
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,987
but his kiss
just took me by surprise.
327
00:17:03,054 --> 00:17:04,989
You know, at first, I didn't
think he was going to do it.
328
00:17:05,056 --> 00:17:07,591
He looked more like
he was going to wink,
329
00:17:07,658 --> 00:17:12,229
but then he slanted his head
just slightly to the left.
330
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,164
Oh, I know that slant.
331
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:17,567
You know every slant.
332
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,371
So why don't you
let my daughter
333
00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:22,806
finish her one kissing story
of the year?
334
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:24,942
Thank you, Ma.
335
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,777
My pleasure, meal ticket.
336
00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:31,181
It was at that point
that I realized
337
00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:33,483
his head was coming toward me.
338
00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:36,086
Were his eyes open or closed?
Open.
339
00:17:36,154 --> 00:17:37,554
(BOTH SQUEALING)
340
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,390
And then he landed.
341
00:17:39,457 --> 00:17:42,259
I thought, "Oh, Mr. Gordon!
342
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:45,695
"Oh, if only Cynthia Costello
was here to see this."
343
00:17:45,763 --> 00:17:47,697
(GASPING) Kinky.
344
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,337
I don't wanna hear
any more of this.
345
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,740
I don't like you being taken advantage
of by some guy from out of town.
346
00:17:56,808 --> 00:17:59,776
At least, when Blanche does
it, it's good for tourism.
347
00:18:09,821 --> 00:18:12,389
Then you're really
not mad at me anymore?
348
00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:14,825
Rose, I'm a reasonable person.
I forgive you.
349
00:18:14,892 --> 00:18:17,061
Does that mean
you'll turn my heat back on?
350
00:18:17,128 --> 00:18:19,196
I was really chilly last night.
351
00:18:20,465 --> 00:18:21,832
Okay, Rose.
352
00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:24,734
Blanche, what made you decide
to forgive Rose?
353
00:18:24,802 --> 00:18:27,004
Because I'm reasonable
and kind and considerate,
354
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:28,339
and I'm back in the game.
355
00:18:28,406 --> 00:18:30,507
I have a date tonight
with a young man
356
00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:33,643
I met in the produce
department at the market.
357
00:18:33,711 --> 00:18:36,347
I showed him
how to thump a melon.
358
00:18:37,815 --> 00:18:40,717
There's a euphemism
we haven't heard before.
359
00:18:42,253 --> 00:18:43,854
I realized something.
360
00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:46,623
Just because every man in my
life thinks I'm a lesbian
361
00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,592
doesn't mean there aren't
thousands and hundreds
362
00:18:48,659 --> 00:18:51,462
and millions of men out there
who don't.
363
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:53,397
(DOORBELL RINGING)
364
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,499
That must be my melon man.
365
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,402
Zorro rides again.
366
00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:01,872
Chuck!
Thumper!
367
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,377
Not exactly a Disney movie,
is it?
368
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:10,447
Oh, Chuck,
this is my roommate Rose,
369
00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:12,549
and this is my roommate
Dorothy and her mama, Sophia.
370
00:19:12,617 --> 00:19:15,152
Oh, yes,
I recognize them from TV.
371
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,421
You... You saw the show?
372
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,989
Yes, I did.
373
00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:21,158
Blanche, it was one of the
things that attracted me to you.
374
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,760
Oh, well, you don't understand.
375
00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,929
No, I do understand, Blanche.
376
00:19:25,997 --> 00:19:27,564
I understand
that you're this way
377
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:30,134
because you've probably
never been with a real man.
378
00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:35,672
Dorothy, do I wet myself
or laugh?
379
00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:42,146
All you need is to be loved
by someone who knows how.
380
00:19:42,213 --> 00:19:43,847
Someone who will take his time
381
00:19:43,915 --> 00:19:47,317
and then show you passion
beyond your wildest dreams.
382
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,258
Dorothy, it's over between us.
383
00:19:57,828 --> 00:19:58,995
Blanche!
384
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,331
Dorothy,
now don't try to stop me.
385
00:20:01,399 --> 00:20:04,068
Don't you see
I have to try this?
386
00:20:06,404 --> 00:20:10,040
Oh, all right, Blanche.
I... I understand.
387
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:12,543
You're a good sport.
388
00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:14,644
You just take care of her.
389
00:20:24,922 --> 00:20:26,156
(DOORBELL RINGING)
390
00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:33,330
Malcolm.
391
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,199
Dorothy, I hope you don't
mind me dropping by,
392
00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:37,601
but, well, I got an advance
copy of the book review,
393
00:20:37,668 --> 00:20:40,571
and I thought you'd like
to see our article in print.
394
00:20:40,638 --> 00:20:43,173
Are you kidding?
Oh, let me read it.
395
00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:46,943
"'Nineteenth Century Writers
Living in the Twentieth Century'
396
00:20:47,011 --> 00:20:49,179
"by Malcolm Gordon."
397
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:50,514
I see you used my title.
398
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,815
Oh, yes.
399
00:20:51,882 --> 00:20:53,517
Read on, read on.
400
00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:56,520
Dorothy, is something wrong?
401
00:20:56,588 --> 00:21:00,290
Well, this is exactly the
same article that I gave you.
402
00:21:00,358 --> 00:21:01,992
Well, it didn't need
a lot of work.
403
00:21:02,059 --> 00:21:03,594
I--I didn't have to add much.
404
00:21:03,661 --> 00:21:06,463
I notice
you didn't add my name to it.
405
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:10,066
Well, no, no, not this time,
but--but next time.
406
00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,336
What makes you think
there'll be a next time?
407
00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:15,172
Well, Dorothy,
I did rewrite your article,
408
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,142
but, well, they asked for a lot of
changes in just a few short hours.
409
00:21:18,209 --> 00:21:22,513
So, I... I submitted
your pages and...
410
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:26,483
Well, I was just too embarrassed to
tell them that it was your work,
411
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,718
but it won't happen again,
I promise.
412
00:21:28,786 --> 00:21:30,454
No, it won't.
413
00:21:32,423 --> 00:21:34,191
Goodbye, Mr. Gordon.
414
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:35,959
(CHUCKLING) Malcolm.
415
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:40,497
Sorry.
416
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:41,665
So am I.
417
00:21:51,876 --> 00:21:53,810
What's wrong, Dorothy?
418
00:21:53,878 --> 00:21:55,745
Ma, you were right again.
419
00:21:56,681 --> 00:21:58,282
He was just using me.
420
00:21:58,349 --> 00:21:59,916
Sit down, pussycat.
421
00:21:59,984 --> 00:22:01,518
I wanna tell you something.
422
00:22:04,088 --> 00:22:06,956
You give too much, and when you
do that, you're gonna get hurt.
423
00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,392
I know.
424
00:22:08,459 --> 00:22:11,528
Oh, but I was so disappointed.
425
00:22:11,596 --> 00:22:14,364
For 40 years,
I've had this fantasy
426
00:22:14,432 --> 00:22:18,802
that Mr. Gordon would come swooping
into my life like Sir Lancelot.
427
00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:22,239
Now I don't even have that.
428
00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:24,107
You can keep the fantasy alive.
429
00:22:24,175 --> 00:22:26,276
It's part of life.
430
00:22:26,344 --> 00:22:28,011
You know what I call my pillow?
431
00:22:28,079 --> 00:22:29,580
Sal.
432
00:22:29,647 --> 00:22:32,449
Sometimes I hug it.
Sometimes it lays there like a big lump,
433
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:33,883
just like your father.
434
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,554
That's how I keep him alive.
435
00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,323
That's lovely, Ma.
436
00:22:39,390 --> 00:22:41,325
You know what I call
my other pillow?
437
00:22:41,392 --> 00:22:42,392
Dino.
438
00:22:44,095 --> 00:22:45,762
But that's another story.
439
00:22:47,565 --> 00:22:50,734
I'll tell you about it
when you're, oh, about 70.
440
00:22:51,569 --> 00:22:53,604
I'll be here.
441
00:22:53,671 --> 00:22:56,172
So will I, pussycat.
So will I.
442
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:03,980
(DOORBELL RINGING)
443
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,019
Yes?
444
00:23:10,087 --> 00:23:12,789
Hi, I--I don't know if you remember me.
My name is Pat.
445
00:23:12,857 --> 00:23:15,259
I was on Wake-Up! Miamiwith you last week.
446
00:23:15,326 --> 00:23:16,993
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
447
00:23:17,061 --> 00:23:19,296
What can I do for you?
448
00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:21,698
I heard about you and Blanche.
449
00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:29,806
I'm sorry. It's too soon.
450
00:23:31,609 --> 00:23:32,709
Too soon.
33304
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