All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 07x15 - Goodbye, Mr. Gordon.

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:05,503 ♪ Thank you for being a friend 2 00:00:05,571 --> 00:00:08,506 ♪ Traveled down the road and back again 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,175 ♪ Your heart is true 4 00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:15,013 ♪ You're a pal and a confidant 5 00:00:16,448 --> 00:00:19,684 ♪ And if you threw a party 6 00:00:19,752 --> 00:00:23,421 ♪ Invited everyone you knew 7 00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,191 ♪ You would see 8 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:28,659 ♪ The biggest gift would be from me 9 00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:31,629 ♪ And the card attached would say 10 00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:37,335 ♪ Thank you for being a friend ♪ 11 00:01:02,995 --> 00:01:04,329 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 12 00:01:05,431 --> 00:01:08,800 Hello? You wanna talk to who? 13 00:01:08,867 --> 00:01:12,137 Dorothy? Sorry, you must've dialed the wrong number. 14 00:01:14,573 --> 00:01:16,641 Blanche, what do you mean, wrong number? 15 00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:19,377 Oh, it was a man, so I just assumed... 16 00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:20,678 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 17 00:01:22,481 --> 00:01:24,515 Hello? Yes, this is she. 18 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,820 I don't believe it! 19 00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:31,289 Well... Oh, that's great. 20 00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:32,557 Why don't you come here? 21 00:01:32,624 --> 00:01:33,758 We'll have lunch. 22 00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:35,026 (LAUGHING) 23 00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:37,128 Oh, fine. 24 00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:39,464 Fine, I'll see you then. Bye-bye. 25 00:01:42,134 --> 00:01:43,969 Well? Well, what? 26 00:01:44,036 --> 00:01:46,604 Oh, now, Dorothy, fess up. I know that was a man. 27 00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:48,639 I can always tell when a man calls 28 00:01:48,707 --> 00:01:51,142 'cause you start sweatin' and get a bad case of the giggles. 29 00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:52,243 I do not. 30 00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:53,611 (GIGGLING) 31 00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:56,914 All right, talk. 32 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,716 It's no big deal. 33 00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:01,186 That was my 11th grade English teacher from back in Brooklyn, 34 00:02:01,253 --> 00:02:02,253 Mr. Gordon. 35 00:02:02,321 --> 00:02:03,788 He's moved to Miami, 36 00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:06,024 and he wants to get together tomorrow for lunch. 37 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,258 End of story. 38 00:02:07,326 --> 00:02:08,326 (GIGGLING) 39 00:02:09,928 --> 00:02:11,863 Ah, Mr. Gordon. 40 00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:14,065 Dorothy had a huge embarrassing crush on him. 41 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,168 She was his slave. She graded his papers, did his laundry. 42 00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:21,206 Once, she even rotated his tires. 43 00:02:21,273 --> 00:02:24,575 Boy, that stroke didn't make you forget a thing, did it, Ma? 44 00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:30,315 A crush on the teacher. Ah, I had those. 45 00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:33,718 Course, I had to hide them because they made the principal jealous. 46 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:39,457 Actually, though, once, I did have a fling with the calculus teacher. 47 00:02:39,525 --> 00:02:41,059 Oh, and did you get an A? 48 00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:43,995 (SCOFFS) More like a full scholarship to MIT. 49 00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:48,699 My Dorothy didn't date teachers in high school. 50 00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:53,405 She dated losers like Stan who knocked her up and ruined her life forever. 51 00:02:53,472 --> 00:02:57,242 It would be like a day without orange juice, wouldn't it, Ma? 52 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,945 Girls, guess what? 53 00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:03,714 They gave me another job at the television station. 54 00:03:03,782 --> 00:03:06,451 The old associate producer quit, 55 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,054 so now I am the new associate producer 56 00:03:09,121 --> 00:03:10,755 of the Wake-Up! Miami show. 57 00:03:10,822 --> 00:03:13,291 They even gave me a nameplate for my desk. 58 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,894 "Harold Goldstein, Associate Producer." 59 00:03:16,962 --> 00:03:18,096 Isn't it exciting? 60 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,964 Oh, congratulations, Harold. 61 00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:21,533 That's great. 62 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,968 We've already had our first meeting. 63 00:03:24,036 --> 00:03:25,903 I suggested we do a show 64 00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:28,940 about women who live together, and they jumped on it. 65 00:03:29,007 --> 00:03:31,176 Well, Rose, that's a great idea. 66 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:33,010 We already have two women lined up. 67 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,645 We just have to find two more. 68 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:37,715 Why, my God, Rose, open your eyes! 69 00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:40,485 This is exactly the kind of exposure I've been lookin' for. 70 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,053 Please, enough of your exposure. 71 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:43,821 We've already lost three gardeners. 72 00:03:45,857 --> 00:03:49,060 No, wait, Dorothy, this is a wonderful idea. 73 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,196 I mean, you and Blanche live together. 74 00:03:51,263 --> 00:03:52,397 Why don't you do the show? 75 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,764 Oh, I would love to. 76 00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:55,233 You know, I wouldn't mind doing it. 77 00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,470 I mean, there are some very important issues I'd like to discuss. 78 00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:00,271 What the hell. I'll do it, too. 79 00:04:00,339 --> 00:04:01,939 Oh, sorry, Sophia. 80 00:04:02,007 --> 00:04:04,175 There's only room for two more guests on the panel. 81 00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:06,311 That's not fair. Why should I be left out? 82 00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:09,147 If I don't do it, Dorothy won't do it. 83 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,449 So, when do you want me there? 84 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,819 Hi, girls. 85 00:04:14,886 --> 00:04:16,854 Oh, Dorothy, don't you look nice. 86 00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:18,789 Well, thank you, Rose. 87 00:04:18,857 --> 00:04:21,092 Mr. Gordon is coming over for lunch today. 88 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,860 We're having it out on the lanai. 89 00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:25,230 So that's why you're acting like it's the first day of school. 90 00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:26,664 Mr. Gordon is coming over. 91 00:04:26,732 --> 00:04:28,600 (IMITATING KISSING) 92 00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,635 Mother, just stop that. 93 00:04:30,702 --> 00:04:33,871 Mr. Gordon is probably over 70 by now. 94 00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:35,373 He's practically ancient. 95 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,442 Seventy is ancient? 96 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:39,910 If I met a man that age who looked halfway decent, 97 00:04:39,978 --> 00:04:41,412 I'd be on my back before you could say, 98 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,181 "I've fallen and I can't get up." 99 00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:51,356 That's great, Ma. That's really beautiful. 100 00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,958 But there's nothing like that between me and Mr. Gordon. 101 00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:56,661 If you don't believe me, why don't you join us for lunch? 102 00:04:56,728 --> 00:04:58,062 Join you for lunch? 103 00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,431 Let me check my social calendar. 104 00:05:00,499 --> 00:05:01,999 (DOORBELL RINGING) 105 00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:04,068 Oh, okay, I'm free. 106 00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:07,172 Ma, that calendar's from 1984. 107 00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:10,675 Oh, yeah, this is the day I escaped from Shady Pines. 108 00:05:10,742 --> 00:05:13,678 It says right here, "I'm free! I'm free!" 109 00:05:16,114 --> 00:05:18,249 (CHUCKLING) Oh, Mr. Gordon. 110 00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,418 Dorothy, you look wonderful. 111 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,521 (GIRLISHLY) Oh, thank you, Mr. Gordon. 112 00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:26,524 Hey, no more of that Mr. Gordon stuff. It's Malcolm. 113 00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:28,859 Absolutely, Mr. Malcolm. 114 00:05:28,927 --> 00:05:30,061 (GIGGLING) 115 00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:32,297 Come, meet my roommates. 116 00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:37,569 Uh, Blanche, Rose, my mother Sophia, Malcolm Gordon. 117 00:05:37,636 --> 00:05:39,404 Yeah, of course. Mrs. Petrillo. 118 00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:42,340 We met before. You were having a problem with my son, Phil. 119 00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:43,474 Oh, right. 120 00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:44,975 The problem with the dress code. 121 00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:46,444 I still don't understand the problem. 122 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,079 He was wearing a dress. 123 00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:53,050 My goodness, you're as cute as Dorothy said you'd be. 124 00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:54,352 That never happens. 125 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,688 (MALCOLM CHUCKLING) 126 00:05:56,755 --> 00:05:59,957 Well, a lot of my ex-students were surprised that I wasn't older, 127 00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:01,226 but, uh, they failed to realize 128 00:06:01,293 --> 00:06:02,827 I started teaching right out of college. 129 00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:04,629 I really wasn't much older than they were. 130 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,864 Well, I--I guess when you're 17, 131 00:06:06,932 --> 00:06:11,636 23 can seem rather dangerous and forbidden. 132 00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:17,975 When you're 17, a cow can seem dangerous and forbidden. 133 00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,018 Am I alone here? 134 00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:31,889 Well, uh, why don't we go out to the lanai? 135 00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:32,990 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 136 00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:34,091 Wait a minute. 137 00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,326 Didn't you forget something? 138 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:38,028 Oh, yes, of course. Goodbye, Mother. 139 00:06:38,096 --> 00:06:41,165 What? What, goodbye? You invited me to lunch. 140 00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:43,834 Rain check, rain check. 141 00:06:43,902 --> 00:06:47,438 I think that is a lovely idea, Mrs. Petrillo. 142 00:06:47,506 --> 00:06:49,440 Don't worry, Dorothy. I'll be on my best behavior. 143 00:06:49,508 --> 00:06:51,709 I won't say or do anything to embarrass you. 144 00:06:52,544 --> 00:06:54,178 Oh, wait. 145 00:06:54,246 --> 00:06:57,615 Goofy pictures of Dorothy when she was a kid. 146 00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,850 Might as well have a couple of laughs over lunch. 147 00:06:59,918 --> 00:07:01,185 (BOTH LAUGHING) 148 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,924 Oh, here's a picture of Dorothy's ninth birthday party. 149 00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:08,793 Look how scared the clown looks. 150 00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:14,098 You know, I can't believe you actually got a clown for my birthday. 151 00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,501 I can still see his big red nose 152 00:07:16,568 --> 00:07:19,804 and those huge black circles around his eyes. 153 00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:22,507 Oh, he wasn't a real clown. He was a friend of your father's. 154 00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:24,542 He'd been beaten up the night before. 155 00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:28,212 We gave him a couple of bucks. 156 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,914 I guess that's why he kept saying, 157 00:07:29,981 --> 00:07:33,785 "Now, remember, kids, nobody likes a squealer." 158 00:07:33,852 --> 00:07:35,620 Here are some pictures of Dorothy at 11, 159 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,322 a hilariously awkward age for her. 160 00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:38,456 (CHUCKLING) 161 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:40,991 Ma, enough with the pictures. 162 00:07:41,059 --> 00:07:42,694 Why don't you get us some coffee? 163 00:07:42,761 --> 00:07:44,429 'Cause it gives me the trots. 164 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:49,600 Oh, I get it. Company. Company. 165 00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:50,835 Pardon me. 166 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:53,371 She's charming. 167 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,972 Oh, you're very kind. 168 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,008 I'm sorry she bored you with all these old pictures. 169 00:07:58,076 --> 00:08:00,144 Nonsense, I enjoyed it. 170 00:08:00,912 --> 00:08:03,381 Oh. Look. 171 00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:05,650 Look, your graduation picture. 172 00:08:06,585 --> 00:08:08,285 You were such a lovely girl. 173 00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:11,789 (GIGGLING) Oh, I never felt that way. 174 00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:15,125 I always felt awkward and clumsy, except in your class. 175 00:08:15,193 --> 00:08:20,030 You made me feel intelligent and beautiful and special. 176 00:08:20,098 --> 00:08:21,899 I never forgot that. 177 00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:24,702 And I have never forgotten you. 178 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,538 (GIGGLING) 179 00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:30,007 So, how do you like being retired? 180 00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:33,611 Actually, I intend to work. I just got my first assignment 181 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,313 to write an article for the book review section. 182 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,983 I'm a little nervous. It's due next week. 183 00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:42,186 Oh, well, now you know how we used to feel 184 00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:44,689 when you would assign us a book report. 185 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,424 I remember that crazy excuse you used 186 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,659 when you didn't hand your paper in. What was it? 187 00:08:48,727 --> 00:08:51,596 Oh, that you'd married that kid, Stan, what's his name? 188 00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:54,732 Gee, I don't remember. 189 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,368 I'm having a little trouble getting started. 190 00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,270 I can't seem to get my thoughts organized. 191 00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:02,640 Well, uh, maybe you'd like a little help. 192 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,476 Really? I certainly could use a little. 193 00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,044 Well, I'd be happy to. 194 00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:09,781 Well, that is great. We'll start tomorrow. 195 00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:13,484 Oh. No, I'm doing a TV show tomorrow morning. 196 00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:16,220 A TV show? Well, I'm impressed. 197 00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,589 Well, no, it's just a little old local show, 198 00:09:18,657 --> 00:09:22,660 but they're anxious to get my views on women's issues. 199 00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:27,765 Hey, why don't you come to the studio, and we can start right after? 200 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:28,999 Perfect. 201 00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,268 Just perfect. 202 00:09:31,336 --> 00:09:32,369 (CHUCKLING) 203 00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:36,140 Dorothy, to us. 204 00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:42,279 More goofy pictures! 205 00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:43,981 (CHUCKLING) 206 00:09:44,049 --> 00:09:45,382 Here's Dorothy in her wedding gown. 207 00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:47,051 Look how scared the groom looks. 208 00:09:47,118 --> 00:09:48,118 (LAUGHING) 209 00:09:54,225 --> 00:09:55,526 Okay, come on, Blanche. 210 00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:57,094 You're on in one minute. 211 00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:59,964 You sit over there, and--and, Dorothy, you get touched up, 212 00:10:00,031 --> 00:10:02,967 and, Sophia, come on, I'll see if I can find you a seat in the audience. 213 00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,602 Hurry up, honey. Here. 214 00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:12,810 Dorothy? Well, you look lovely. 215 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:14,946 Oh. For your television debut. 216 00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:17,314 Oh, they're beautiful. 217 00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:19,350 Dorothy? 218 00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:23,253 Good luck. 219 00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:31,929 Come on, Dorothy. We're starting. 220 00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:38,435 He kissed me. He gave me flowers. 221 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:41,038 Dorothy, come on, it's almost time. 222 00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:43,140 Over here, honey. Please. 223 00:10:45,176 --> 00:10:47,144 All right, you sit over there. Down there, that's it. 224 00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:48,479 What's wrong with her? 225 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,180 Malcolm kissed her. 226 00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:52,149 My God, she's in shock. 227 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,722 He gave me flowers from a store. 228 00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:00,591 Ladies, good morning. 229 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,259 We go on in about 10 seconds. 230 00:11:02,327 --> 00:11:05,162 Oh! Just relax and have a fun show, okay? 231 00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:08,766 (WAKE-UP! MIAMI THEME MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) 232 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:11,201 Good morning and welcome to Wake-Up! Miami. 233 00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:13,638 Today, women who live together. 234 00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:15,640 Does society make it tougher? 235 00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:21,412 We'll find out when we talk to four lesbians today on Wake-Up! Miami. 236 00:11:32,824 --> 00:11:35,259 Rose, could I see you for moment? 237 00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:44,802 You're mad, aren't you? 238 00:11:47,305 --> 00:11:50,441 Rose Nylund, every man I know is watching this show. 239 00:11:50,508 --> 00:11:51,976 This live show. 240 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:55,546 This live show about lesbian lovers of Miami. 241 00:11:57,015 --> 00:11:58,983 Every man you know is watching? 242 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,285 Hey, we could beat The Price Is Right. 243 00:12:04,155 --> 00:12:07,625 Rose, we can't kill you here because there are cameras. 244 00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,427 Now, how did this happen? 245 00:12:10,495 --> 00:12:12,229 Oh, I don't know. 246 00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:14,632 They just said they wanted two women who loved each other 247 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,433 and slept together. 248 00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:19,804 We do not sleep together! 249 00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:21,672 Yes, you did. 250 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,842 Last month, when... When Blanche was having her room repainted 251 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,912 because the plaster behind her headboard all fell out. 252 00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:33,918 We're back in 30 seconds, ladies. 253 00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,987 Listen, I'm not gonna do this. 254 00:12:36,054 --> 00:12:38,055 Blanche, if you leave, they'll fire me. 255 00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:39,256 Good. 256 00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:42,259 My mother is here. 257 00:12:42,327 --> 00:12:44,328 My teacher is here. Good. 258 00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:48,666 If I lose my job, I won't be able to do anything but sit home 259 00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:50,901 and tell St. Olaf stories. 260 00:12:53,204 --> 00:12:55,205 Blackmail. 261 00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:58,643 Oh, very smart. 262 00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:01,912 Hey, they don't call me Harold Goldstein for nothing. 263 00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:05,016 Maybe if we don't say anything, 264 00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,450 we're not on camera that much. 265 00:13:06,518 --> 00:13:09,053 I mean, we can't let Rose lose her job. 266 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,988 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) 267 00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:17,394 We're back. Let's meet our panelists. 268 00:13:17,462 --> 00:13:19,864 Dorothy, a lesbian. 269 00:13:24,302 --> 00:13:26,737 Blanche, another lesbian. 270 00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:33,744 And Pat and Kathy, image consultants. 271 00:13:37,115 --> 00:13:39,884 How come they're not lesbians? 272 00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:42,053 We don't believe in labels. 273 00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:46,691 Oh, I see we have a question from the audience. 274 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:49,994 Yes, sir. 275 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:53,197 Are there male/female roles in the relationship? 276 00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:59,970 Well, I am the little homemaker, if that's what you mean. 277 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,507 Now, wait a minute. Just... 278 00:14:03,575 --> 00:14:05,375 (INAUDIBLE) 279 00:14:09,547 --> 00:14:11,648 And I take out the garbage. 280 00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:16,620 Fascinating, huh? Any other questions? 281 00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:18,255 Ah, here we go. 282 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:22,492 This is directed to Dorothy's lover. 283 00:14:24,562 --> 00:14:28,398 Do people treat you differently because you're a lesbian? 284 00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:30,634 Well, most people don't know. 285 00:14:31,903 --> 00:14:34,905 Really? I would've guessed right off. 286 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,813 Next question to Dorothy. 287 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:45,116 What kind of pain and embarrassment 288 00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:48,152 has this lifestyle caused your mother? 289 00:14:51,522 --> 00:14:54,825 I really don't know, but I'll ask her tomorrow 290 00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:57,427 when I visit her at the home. 291 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,837 No more questions. 292 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,246 (KETTLE WHISTLING) 293 00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:16,313 Oh. 294 00:15:20,218 --> 00:15:22,153 Not one phone call all day. 295 00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:23,520 That's not true, Blanche. 296 00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:25,489 The phone's been ringing off the hook. 297 00:15:25,556 --> 00:15:30,161 Not one phone call from a man all day, Rose. 298 00:15:30,228 --> 00:15:32,496 By the way, Dorothy, if I were a lesbian, 299 00:15:32,563 --> 00:15:33,931 I sure would be a popular one. 300 00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:37,301 Look at this, 20 calls. 301 00:15:37,368 --> 00:15:38,735 (CHUCKLING) 302 00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:41,005 "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the..." 303 00:15:41,072 --> 00:15:43,073 Oh, what am I doin'? 304 00:15:44,575 --> 00:15:45,609 Listen to me. 305 00:15:45,677 --> 00:15:47,444 Rose, I could just strangle you. 306 00:15:47,512 --> 00:15:49,513 So you're still miffed? 307 00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:53,217 Well, I don't mind bein' labeled a lesbian, honey, 308 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:57,321 but since I'm not, you just ruined my social life. 309 00:15:57,388 --> 00:16:01,758 Oh, go ahead. Blanche, I'm a bubblehead and I deserve to die. 310 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:09,033 I said I'm a bubblehead and I deserve to die. 311 00:16:10,101 --> 00:16:12,203 And it was worth repeating. 312 00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:17,474 Dorothy, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend Gladys. 313 00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:20,344 She thinks you can do better than Blanche. 314 00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:24,048 I agree, but, Ma, if it's all right with you, 315 00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:25,883 I have a lot of work to do here. 316 00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:28,652 I can't believe you're still working on that article. 317 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,955 I thought you were just gonna help organize it. 318 00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:33,090 I can't believe you're doing this again. 319 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,226 You're letting him take advantage of you like he did in high school. 320 00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,294 He is under a lot of pressure, 321 00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:40,164 and I don't want him to kiss his deadline. 322 00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:50,374 Miss. Miss his deadline. 323 00:16:51,409 --> 00:16:52,809 Ooh, Mr. Gordon. 324 00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:54,044 (IMITATING KISSING) 325 00:16:55,280 --> 00:17:00,017 Oh, all right. I admit it. I do have a little crush, 326 00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,987 but his kiss just took me by surprise. 327 00:17:03,054 --> 00:17:04,989 You know, at first, I didn't think he was going to do it. 328 00:17:05,056 --> 00:17:07,591 He looked more like he was going to wink, 329 00:17:07,658 --> 00:17:12,229 but then he slanted his head just slightly to the left. 330 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,164 Oh, I know that slant. 331 00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:17,567 You know every slant. 332 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,371 So why don't you let my daughter 333 00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:22,806 finish her one kissing story of the year? 334 00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:24,942 Thank you, Ma. 335 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,777 My pleasure, meal ticket. 336 00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:31,181 It was at that point that I realized 337 00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:33,483 his head was coming toward me. 338 00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:36,086 Were his eyes open or closed? Open. 339 00:17:36,154 --> 00:17:37,554 (BOTH SQUEALING) 340 00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,390 And then he landed. 341 00:17:39,457 --> 00:17:42,259 I thought, "Oh, Mr. Gordon! 342 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:45,695 "Oh, if only Cynthia Costello was here to see this." 343 00:17:45,763 --> 00:17:47,697 (GASPING) Kinky. 344 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,337 I don't wanna hear any more of this. 345 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,740 I don't like you being taken advantage of by some guy from out of town. 346 00:17:56,808 --> 00:17:59,776 At least, when Blanche does it, it's good for tourism. 347 00:18:09,821 --> 00:18:12,389 Then you're really not mad at me anymore? 348 00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:14,825 Rose, I'm a reasonable person. I forgive you. 349 00:18:14,892 --> 00:18:17,061 Does that mean you'll turn my heat back on? 350 00:18:17,128 --> 00:18:19,196 I was really chilly last night. 351 00:18:20,465 --> 00:18:21,832 Okay, Rose. 352 00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:24,734 Blanche, what made you decide to forgive Rose? 353 00:18:24,802 --> 00:18:27,004 Because I'm reasonable and kind and considerate, 354 00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:28,339 and I'm back in the game. 355 00:18:28,406 --> 00:18:30,507 I have a date tonight with a young man 356 00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:33,643 I met in the produce department at the market. 357 00:18:33,711 --> 00:18:36,347 I showed him how to thump a melon. 358 00:18:37,815 --> 00:18:40,717 There's a euphemism we haven't heard before. 359 00:18:42,253 --> 00:18:43,854 I realized something. 360 00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:46,623 Just because every man in my life thinks I'm a lesbian 361 00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,592 doesn't mean there aren't thousands and hundreds 362 00:18:48,659 --> 00:18:51,462 and millions of men out there who don't. 363 00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:53,397 (DOORBELL RINGING) 364 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,499 That must be my melon man. 365 00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,402 Zorro rides again. 366 00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:01,872 Chuck! Thumper! 367 00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,377 Not exactly a Disney movie, is it? 368 00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:10,447 Oh, Chuck, this is my roommate Rose, 369 00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:12,549 and this is my roommate Dorothy and her mama, Sophia. 370 00:19:12,617 --> 00:19:15,152 Oh, yes, I recognize them from TV. 371 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,421 You... You saw the show? 372 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,989 Yes, I did. 373 00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:21,158 Blanche, it was one of the things that attracted me to you. 374 00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,760 Oh, well, you don't understand. 375 00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,929 No, I do understand, Blanche. 376 00:19:25,997 --> 00:19:27,564 I understand that you're this way 377 00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:30,134 because you've probably never been with a real man. 378 00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:35,672 Dorothy, do I wet myself or laugh? 379 00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:42,146 All you need is to be loved by someone who knows how. 380 00:19:42,213 --> 00:19:43,847 Someone who will take his time 381 00:19:43,915 --> 00:19:47,317 and then show you passion beyond your wildest dreams. 382 00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,258 Dorothy, it's over between us. 383 00:19:57,828 --> 00:19:58,995 Blanche! 384 00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,331 Dorothy, now don't try to stop me. 385 00:20:01,399 --> 00:20:04,068 Don't you see I have to try this? 386 00:20:06,404 --> 00:20:10,040 Oh, all right, Blanche. I... I understand. 387 00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:12,543 You're a good sport. 388 00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:14,644 You just take care of her. 389 00:20:24,922 --> 00:20:26,156 (DOORBELL RINGING) 390 00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:33,330 Malcolm. 391 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,199 Dorothy, I hope you don't mind me dropping by, 392 00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:37,601 but, well, I got an advance copy of the book review, 393 00:20:37,668 --> 00:20:40,571 and I thought you'd like to see our article in print. 394 00:20:40,638 --> 00:20:43,173 Are you kidding? Oh, let me read it. 395 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:46,943 "'Nineteenth Century Writers Living in the Twentieth Century' 396 00:20:47,011 --> 00:20:49,179 "by Malcolm Gordon." 397 00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:50,514 I see you used my title. 398 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,815 Oh, yes. 399 00:20:51,882 --> 00:20:53,517 Read on, read on. 400 00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:56,520 Dorothy, is something wrong? 401 00:20:56,588 --> 00:21:00,290 Well, this is exactly the same article that I gave you. 402 00:21:00,358 --> 00:21:01,992 Well, it didn't need a lot of work. 403 00:21:02,059 --> 00:21:03,594 I--I didn't have to add much. 404 00:21:03,661 --> 00:21:06,463 I notice you didn't add my name to it. 405 00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:10,066 Well, no, no, not this time, but--but next time. 406 00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,336 What makes you think there'll be a next time? 407 00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:15,172 Well, Dorothy, I did rewrite your article, 408 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,142 but, well, they asked for a lot of changes in just a few short hours. 409 00:21:18,209 --> 00:21:22,513 So, I... I submitted your pages and... 410 00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:26,483 Well, I was just too embarrassed to tell them that it was your work, 411 00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,718 but it won't happen again, I promise. 412 00:21:28,786 --> 00:21:30,454 No, it won't. 413 00:21:32,423 --> 00:21:34,191 Goodbye, Mr. Gordon. 414 00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:35,959 (CHUCKLING) Malcolm. 415 00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:40,497 Sorry. 416 00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:41,665 So am I. 417 00:21:51,876 --> 00:21:53,810 What's wrong, Dorothy? 418 00:21:53,878 --> 00:21:55,745 Ma, you were right again. 419 00:21:56,681 --> 00:21:58,282 He was just using me. 420 00:21:58,349 --> 00:21:59,916 Sit down, pussycat. 421 00:21:59,984 --> 00:22:01,518 I wanna tell you something. 422 00:22:04,088 --> 00:22:06,956 You give too much, and when you do that, you're gonna get hurt. 423 00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,392 I know. 424 00:22:08,459 --> 00:22:11,528 Oh, but I was so disappointed. 425 00:22:11,596 --> 00:22:14,364 For 40 years, I've had this fantasy 426 00:22:14,432 --> 00:22:18,802 that Mr. Gordon would come swooping into my life like Sir Lancelot. 427 00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:22,239 Now I don't even have that. 428 00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:24,107 You can keep the fantasy alive. 429 00:22:24,175 --> 00:22:26,276 It's part of life. 430 00:22:26,344 --> 00:22:28,011 You know what I call my pillow? 431 00:22:28,079 --> 00:22:29,580 Sal. 432 00:22:29,647 --> 00:22:32,449 Sometimes I hug it. Sometimes it lays there like a big lump, 433 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:33,883 just like your father. 434 00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,554 That's how I keep him alive. 435 00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,323 That's lovely, Ma. 436 00:22:39,390 --> 00:22:41,325 You know what I call my other pillow? 437 00:22:41,392 --> 00:22:42,392 Dino. 438 00:22:44,095 --> 00:22:45,762 But that's another story. 439 00:22:47,565 --> 00:22:50,734 I'll tell you about it when you're, oh, about 70. 440 00:22:51,569 --> 00:22:53,604 I'll be here. 441 00:22:53,671 --> 00:22:56,172 So will I, pussycat. So will I. 442 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:03,980 (DOORBELL RINGING) 443 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,019 Yes? 444 00:23:10,087 --> 00:23:12,789 Hi, I--I don't know if you remember me. My name is Pat. 445 00:23:12,857 --> 00:23:15,259 I was on Wake-Up! Miami with you last week. 446 00:23:15,326 --> 00:23:16,993 Oh, yes, yes, of course. 447 00:23:17,061 --> 00:23:19,296 What can I do for you? 448 00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:21,698 I heard about you and Blanche. 449 00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:29,806 I'm sorry. It's too soon. 450 00:23:31,609 --> 00:23:32,709 Too soon. 33304

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