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[DRONING SOUND]
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00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:09,285
[OMINOUS TONE]
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00:00:10,353 --> 00:00:13,356
[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRA]
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NARRATOR:
The battle was all but over.
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The forces of good, the living
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00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:26,767
had fallen by the thousands.
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The risen dead
swept over them in a vile,
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00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:35,942
and cankerous wave
that knew not when to break.
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00:00:35,944 --> 00:00:39,379
But as long as
their fearless leader,
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00:00:39,381 --> 00:00:42,815
the mighty
Casimir the Destroyer,
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00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:47,486
battle mage, warrior,
and renowned tactician
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00:00:47,488 --> 00:00:50,122
still drew breath,
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00:00:50,124 --> 00:00:53,926
there was yet some hope.
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00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:58,562
And as the horde
of hell's spawn dead,
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00:00:58,564 --> 00:01:01,866
raised by the evil necromancer.
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00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:05,937
Morana, grew
closer, unwittingly lured
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00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:07,972
into a fatal pincer movement,
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00:01:07,974 --> 00:01:12,910
through the otherwise impassable
sulphur swamps of Sagra,
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00:01:12,912 --> 00:01:17,915
Casimir knew he had
them in the palm of his hand.
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Knew that a historic victory
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was but a single blow away.
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There was no
escaping the fury
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of Casimir's blazing damnation.
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The magically conjured
flames burned hard and fast
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00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:38,869
devouring the
undead in a matter of seconds.
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00:01:40,704 --> 00:01:44,171
And for the first
of many times to come,
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Casimir looked down triumphant
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upon the carnage he had wrought.
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00:01:50,012 --> 00:01:54,181
Upon the victory he had
single-handedly wretched
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00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:59,086
from the rotten jaws
of almost certain defeat.
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[CROWD CHEERING SOUND]
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00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:06,995
[DRONING SOUND]
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00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,401
[EPIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
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00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,611
[MUSIC SOUND LEVELS DROP]
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00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,616
[TRAIN RIDING ON TRACKS SOUND]
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[TRAIN WHISTLE SOUND]
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TREVOR: Casimir would not rest
until his nemesis Morana had fallen.
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[DOOR CLOSING SOUND]
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Along with her scurrilous lapdog
of a so-called swordsman,
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00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,932
Sir Brandt.
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Fuck sake.
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Oh! Mr. Parsons.
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PARSONS:
Afternoon. Trevor isn't it?
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Last time I checked!
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Right. I've been
meaning to have a word.
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00:03:05,248 --> 00:03:07,951
See the thing is
that some of us here.
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Sorry!
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00:03:14,157 --> 00:03:18,259
Fundamentally,
some of us here.
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W-we take pride.
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00:03:21,263 --> 00:03:23,797
I'm not sure how to-
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00:03:23,799 --> 00:03:25,866
your plot's a disgrace.
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[BIRDS CHIRPING]
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00:03:28,803 --> 00:03:30,670
Well, it's a little
on the barren side but
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00:03:30,672 --> 00:03:32,605
it's got some
post-apocalyptic charm.
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00:03:32,607 --> 00:03:33,739
Clearly.
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00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:36,008
Disgrace is a very strong word.
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00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:39,911
But it's
accurate. Look around you.
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00:03:39,913 --> 00:03:43,915
Do you see anything out of
place in my plot? No, nothing.
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00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:44,983
It's beauty.
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00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:48,687
Ted and Irene may be
slow, but they're methodical.
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00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,822
Even Birch keeps his end up.
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00:03:50,824 --> 00:03:53,624
Peter, almost as
annoying as you are,
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00:03:53,626 --> 00:03:55,859
but at least he
knows what he's doing.
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00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,762
And Doc doesn't do
anything at all, but he's tidy.
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00:03:58,764 --> 00:04:00,731
Now you, on the other hand,
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00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:03,300
you are more than
letting the side down.
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00:04:03,302 --> 00:04:05,636
To be honest
gardening isn't really my thing.
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00:04:05,638 --> 00:04:08,237
Jesus Christ! Why do
you have an allotment then?
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00:04:08,239 --> 00:04:11,007
Why do you come here
and spoil it for the rest of us?
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00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,675
I'd be willing
to put up a fence.
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00:04:12,677 --> 00:04:15,680
Look, we've gotten
together and signed a petition.
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We're giving it to the
landlord tomorrow morning.
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00:04:20,752 --> 00:04:24,953
And I sincerely hope
he decides to evict you,
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00:04:24,955 --> 00:04:26,687
and your terrible
hair-do. Good day!
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00:04:26,689 --> 00:04:29,557
What? No! No, no,
no, no, no, no! I'll tidy up.
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I'll, I'll plant some seeds!
I'll, I'll, plant the crap fu...
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God.
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[FLY BUZZING SOUND]
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Oh!
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Oooh!
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Woo!
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[ROCK MUSIC BEGINS ABRUPTLY]
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[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
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[ELEVATOR BELL SOUND]
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[RAT SQUEAKING SOUND]
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BOBBI: Harriet, why don't you
come round to mine after work?
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I've got some pear vodka.
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00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:18,791
HARRIET:
Oh, yes, please!
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00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:21,327
Funny innit like, us
sitting here doing nothing,
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00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:24,964
makes you more tired
than when you're busy, eh?
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00:06:24,966 --> 00:06:26,899
You're not wrong Bobbi.
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00:06:26,901 --> 00:06:30,002
It's a bit like
shagging, if you think about it.
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The more you do
it, the more you want it.
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It only makes you more
horny. It's really annoying.
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00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:38,178
I wouldn't know.
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When are you going to be done?
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00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:45,817
Oh, it's just my Derek
now. A little quick half hour.
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00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:49,019
But I'll do him
quick today, yeah?
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00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:51,021
[DOOR BELL SOUNDS]
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DEREK:
There she blows.
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HARRIET:
Hi darling!
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Aww, I love presents. Thank you.
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00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:03,300
Do you want a little shower?
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00:07:03,302 --> 00:07:07,069
- I'm clean as a whistle.
- Mmm.
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00:07:07,071 --> 00:07:10,373
Well, I'll have to
blow you to find out won't I?
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00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:11,376
Yes!
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00:07:14,178 --> 00:07:15,179
Hmm.
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[DOG BARKING SOUNDS]
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DOC:
Trevor?
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Doc!
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I didn t sign the
petition by the way.
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Thanks.
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My motto is,
"Live and let live".
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I appreciate that.
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[OMINOUS MUSIC]
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Don't come in here
asking where your dinner is.
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00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:56,182
While you've been flouncing
around at your allotment,
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I've been at work all day.
So, no. I haven't cooked yet.
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00:07:59,786 --> 00:08:04,756
Oh, hi Trev!
Nice T-shirt! Mmm.
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00:08:04,758 --> 00:08:05,823
[INHALING SOUND]
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00:08:05,825 --> 00:08:09,260
Trevor!
I didn't say I was hungry.
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00:08:09,262 --> 00:08:11,028
I heard you think it.
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00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,032
No, well, we left you some.
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00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,034
Thanks.
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00:08:17,036 --> 00:08:19,038
That's very generous of you!
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00:08:20,973 --> 00:08:23,773
I'm the one bringing the
money in while you're indulging
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00:08:23,775 --> 00:08:26,310
in some pathetic male fantasy.
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00:08:26,312 --> 00:08:29,379
Well, as Harriet can attest,
it is possible to do both.
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00:08:29,381 --> 00:08:31,481
You know, maybe you should just
embrace the dual nature of your
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00:08:31,483 --> 00:08:33,950
business, and call
the salon, "Hand Job".
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00:08:33,952 --> 00:08:36,219
Oooh! You're looking
very pretty today Harriet.
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00:08:36,221 --> 00:08:38,154
Would you mind if I, umm?
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00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:40,388
[CAMERA SHUTTER SOUND]
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00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:43,124
I'm going off to
Graham's. Help me, God!
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00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,794
[DOOR OPENING AND
SLAMMING SHUT SOUNDS]
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00:08:45,796 --> 00:08:50,098
He's not the sharpest tool in
the shed, is he, your husband?
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00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:53,103
[BATTLEFIELD SOUNDS]
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00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:58,908
[INDISCERNIBLE YELLING]
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00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,146
GRAHAM: Yeah, well,
you know what I think?
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00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:08,482
I think you should
unleash some of that old
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00:09:08,484 --> 00:09:10,251
Casimir vengeance on him.
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00:09:10,253 --> 00:09:12,151
Graham, I'm not
going to kill someone
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00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,387
for trying to evict me
from my bloody allotment.
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00:09:14,389 --> 00:09:17,357
Or you could get that guy
you think's a serial killer to
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00:09:17,359 --> 00:09:19,492
dissolve him in a
vat of acid or something.
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00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:22,027
I didn't say he was a serial
killer. I said he was creepy,
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00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,929
and it's weird
his plot is bare earth.
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00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,599
Or maybe you could put
pesticide in his Horlicks,
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00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:29,834
dress him up as a scarecrow,
and hide him in plain sight?
151
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,604
What is wrong with you?
I'm not going to kill anyone.
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00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,205
Yeah, well you weren't
this squeamish when you were
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00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,208
fire-bombing my zombies earlier.
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00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,412
You really have no grip
on the real world do you?
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00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:43,116
Well I guess you
could learn how to garden.
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00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,289
Oh, I got that picture
of Harriet you wanted.
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00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,490
But this is the
last time, alright?
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00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:56,192
Everybody's starting
to think I'm a weirdo.
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00:09:56,194 --> 00:10:00,195
My sweet Lady Harriet Morana.
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00:10:00,197 --> 00:10:04,266
Sir Brandt at your service!
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00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:07,336
I can't believe
you're basing Morana on her.
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00:10:07,338 --> 00:10:10,406
Oh, yes! She's fit!
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00:10:10,408 --> 00:10:13,575
Plus, Sir Brandt
gets to bed her!
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00:10:13,577 --> 00:10:16,411
Only because no one
else in her army has a pulse.
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00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:19,514
Yes, she has a whole legion
of skeletons at her command,
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00:10:19,516 --> 00:10:21,915
yet it is I, Sir Brandt,
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00:10:21,917 --> 00:10:24,452
who gets to bone her! Haha.
168
00:10:24,454 --> 00:10:26,521
You know, there are far
hotter women on the internet,
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00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:27,921
some wearing a lot less?
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00:10:27,923 --> 00:10:29,290
Arrrgh, aargh,
no, no, no, no, n...
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00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:31,225
What is your
problem with the internet?
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00:10:31,227 --> 00:10:33,460
Online Gamers.
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00:10:33,462 --> 00:10:37,364
Heathens. Heathens, man!
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00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:40,334
Oh, go on, send me
that picture would you?!
175
00:10:40,336 --> 00:10:42,068
I don't even know why
you have a mobile phone.
176
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,537
You never
bloody leave the house!
177
00:10:43,539 --> 00:10:46,406
Hey, don't knock my Agoraphobia.
178
00:10:46,408 --> 00:10:50,175
Plus, I need a way to
get my DLA you know. My er...
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00:10:50,177 --> 00:10:52,977
Dragon Living
Allowance. Yes, very good.
180
00:10:52,979 --> 00:10:54,446
Why can't I have a dragon?
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00:10:54,448 --> 00:10:57,150
Well, firstly
Morana is a necromancer.
182
00:10:58,352 --> 00:11:01,453
Well, why can't I
have an undead dragon?
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00:11:01,455 --> 00:11:04,288
- Sending.
- No, no, wait! Wait!
184
00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,623
- Ahhh!
- Ahahaha.
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00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,058
TREVOR:
Whoops!
186
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:09,161
You cheat!
187
00:11:10,162 --> 00:11:12,296
When they're down, they're down!
188
00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:14,298
Shouldn't leave your
phone on the battlefield!
189
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,433
[OMINOUS TONE]
Curse you Casimir!
190
00:11:16,435 --> 00:11:20,503
The dead shall rise,
and tear your world asunder!
191
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,638
Tell that to a couple of D8's.
192
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,173
Boom!
193
00:11:24,175 --> 00:11:27,178
[OMINOUS MUSICAL BUILD UP]
194
00:11:28,546 --> 00:11:30,548
ZOMBIE:
Arrrggh.
195
00:11:39,956 --> 00:11:41,458
Arrrgh.
196
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,127
[CLOSING DOOR SOUND]
197
00:11:46,129 --> 00:11:48,131
[APPROACHING FOOTSTEP SOUNDS]
198
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:54,069
[SNORING SOUNDS]
199
00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:00,409
Bobbi?
200
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:10,482
Ssstupid, bloody whale.
201
00:12:10,484 --> 00:12:13,252
Bobbi, d...
202
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,956
[FARTING SOUNDS]
203
00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:18,993
I'll be on the sofa.
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00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:26,664
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[TRUMPET INTRO MUSIC]
205
00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:28,533
DAVE-RADIO HOST:
Hello and welcome back. Ah,
206
00:12:28,535 --> 00:12:29,767
Right, coming up
'you are what you eat'
207
00:12:29,769 --> 00:12:34,138
we look at the pitfalls and
benefits of a protein only diet.
208
00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:37,208
But first, Dick. What do we
make of this macabre business?
209
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:39,243
DICK: Oh ho. Just in case you're
tuning in for the first time
210
00:12:39,245 --> 00:12:41,144
folks, what Dave is
referring to is the apparent
211
00:12:41,146 --> 00:12:43,012
grave robbing in
Nunhead cemetery.
212
00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:45,482
DAVE: Hahaha. I think,
I think grave robbing is a bit strong...
213
00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:47,350
DICK: No, no, no.
We-well, what would you call it then?
214
00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:49,519
DAVE: Ahh-uhh, prrff,
Halloween pranks?
215
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,488
DICK: Haha, Well it's not like
the corpses just got up and
216
00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:52,722
walked off is it? Hahaha!
217
00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:55,090
DAVE:
Hahaha I'd like to see!
218
00:12:55,092 --> 00:12:58,561
DICK: So Dave, what's in store for
us today in terms of the weather?
219
00:12:58,563 --> 00:13:01,129
DAVE: Well Dick, it's a proper
Autumnal day out there today,
220
00:13:01,131 --> 00:13:04,600
but you can expect a lot of
heavy low lying fog tonight.
221
00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:06,669
So, do be careful
if you're out and about.
222
00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:09,137
BOBBI:
Trevor?
223
00:13:09,139 --> 00:13:10,140
Trevor!
224
00:13:11,575 --> 00:13:14,276
Trevor you planning
on sleeping all day?!
225
00:13:15,745 --> 00:13:18,245
- TREVOR!?
- Whaa!
226
00:13:18,247 --> 00:13:20,447
Ow! What, Jesus?
227
00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:21,648
Just because
you're between jobs,
228
00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:23,450
doesn't mean you can lay
around doing fuck all every day!
229
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:25,185
You should
be out looking for a job!
230
00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:27,087
And pick your dirty
clothes up from the floor.
231
00:13:27,089 --> 00:13:28,221
Is that for me?
232
00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:29,422
No, you make your own.
233
00:13:29,424 --> 00:13:31,457
And your dad's golf clubs are
over there, so take 'em to the
234
00:13:31,459 --> 00:13:33,292
charity shop because it's
not like you play, is it?
235
00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:34,660
I might have to start.
236
00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:35,695
You know what Trevor,
237
00:13:35,697 --> 00:13:38,666
you know better than
to fucking argue with me!
238
00:13:40,101 --> 00:13:42,103
- Pfftt.
- Oh!
239
00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:49,241
God, I swear you only started
smoking to aggravate my asthma!
240
00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:52,377
You ungrateful sod! I'm doing
it to lose weight, for you!
241
00:13:52,379 --> 00:13:54,144
Yeah, is that why you
didn t eat all the extra large
242
00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:55,112
pizza as well?
243
00:13:55,114 --> 00:13:57,649
Do you know what
Trevor? I'm going to work.
244
00:13:57,651 --> 00:14:01,219
You know, remember
work?! You fucking lazy sod!
245
00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:08,124
Ahhh! Fuck.
246
00:14:08,126 --> 00:14:10,427
[SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA]
Oh, Christ.
247
00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:12,128
Kill me!
248
00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:14,130
Come on, boy!
249
00:14:14,132 --> 00:14:17,534
DEREK:
I am a very, very bad horse.
250
00:14:17,536 --> 00:14:20,737
Horses don't talk!
251
00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:22,538
Quiet!
252
00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:25,675
Horses just buck!
253
00:14:25,677 --> 00:14:26,676
[HORSE WHINNY SOUND]
254
00:14:26,678 --> 00:14:28,410
Stop.
255
00:14:28,412 --> 00:14:30,479
[INTENSE CLASSICAL MUSIC]
256
00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:31,479
Haha!
257
00:14:31,481 --> 00:14:34,183
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
258
00:14:35,118 --> 00:14:38,121
[HORSE SOUNDS]
259
00:14:44,294 --> 00:14:46,663
Giddy up!
260
00:14:49,231 --> 00:14:52,699
Come on! Oh, woah! Derek?
261
00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:54,901
Dereeeek?
262
00:14:54,903 --> 00:14:57,104
Come on. T-t-t-t-t.
263
00:14:58,707 --> 00:14:59,708
To-oot?
264
00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:02,678
Darling?
265
00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:07,178
Remember the safe word!
266
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,314
[HORSE NICKER SOUND]
267
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:11,684
HARRIET: Well, that's not it!
Come on, it's banana.
268
00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:13,852
Derek?
269
00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:15,186
DEREK?
270
00:15:15,188 --> 00:15:17,322
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
271
00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:19,757
TREVOR:
[INDISTINCT] Dark cow!
272
00:15:19,759 --> 00:15:22,527
Oh, yeah. I gave you some pizza!
273
00:15:22,529 --> 00:15:24,361
Stupid bloody friend.
274
00:15:24,363 --> 00:15:28,600
Little ho. Little pfft. Fucking
stupid! Gosh, she's such a lit...
275
00:15:28,602 --> 00:15:31,568
Bloody wha... I'm stupid. Must
have she grab my cock in the
276
00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:33,303
night club. Next thing I know,
277
00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:35,638
I'm bloody
married to her for life.
278
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,342
Poor Derek!
279
00:15:38,242 --> 00:15:40,543
All he wanted was an
early morning ride, wasn't it?
280
00:15:40,545 --> 00:15:44,313
It's alright. Go on.
281
00:15:44,315 --> 00:15:46,215
Well, you know, he wanted
to play his favorite game,
282
00:15:46,217 --> 00:15:47,650
you know, that.
283
00:15:47,652 --> 00:15:49,819
Horsey play.
284
00:15:49,821 --> 00:15:52,754
He loved that!
285
00:15:52,756 --> 00:15:55,890
No, but I just kept on
really pushing it, and saying,
286
00:15:55,892 --> 00:15:58,893
"giddy up, giddy up,
faster" spanking his ass!
287
00:15:58,895 --> 00:16:01,296
And I was getting
really into it, and-
288
00:16:01,298 --> 00:16:05,900
It just uh, it got too much for
him. And he collapsed on me.
289
00:16:05,902 --> 00:16:07,101
Oh, he didn't?!
290
00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:09,236
And there was nothing I could
do, and I was saying, "Say the
291
00:16:09,238 --> 00:16:11,772
safe word, say the safe word".
292
00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:13,874
And he didn't. He just
kept on going, " Pfffft"
293
00:16:13,876 --> 00:16:16,644
And I forgot, he's got
such a delicate little heart.
294
00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:17,845
Oh, his little heart!
295
00:16:17,847 --> 00:16:19,245
And that's why
I really liked him,
296
00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:21,717
cause he was
actually a real gent.
297
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,819
Poor Derek.
298
00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:29,354
Oh, God.
299
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,593
Oh, Bobbi.
Oh, do you know what?
300
00:16:33,595 --> 00:16:35,597
He's still wearing my buttplug.
301
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,767
He is. He's still wearing my
buttplug. They're gonna find
302
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:43,802
my buttplug up
there. That's not dignified.
303
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,269
He wouldn't have want that.
304
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,304
Nope. Nope.
305
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:48,641
That's awkward.
306
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:51,742
Stupid cow.
307
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,311
Stupid. I might as well
just put a bloody bed in here
308
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:55,578
and be done with it.
309
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:57,315
[INDISCERNIBLE]
...Bloody.
310
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,320
Parsons!
311
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,922
What?
312
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,758
Is it true?
Are you distilling vodka?
313
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:09,626
What's it to you?
314
00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:11,827
What's it to me,
you little cock head?!
315
00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:13,529
Not that you'd
be affected by it,
316
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:15,397
but a number of us
had our potato crops
317
00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:16,665
plundered last year.
318
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,967
- Aww!
- And I'd be willing to bet
319
00:17:18,969 --> 00:17:21,637
that if you are
indeed distilling vodka,
320
00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:23,872
then you're
probably the plunderer.
321
00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:26,809
Hahahaha.
I'm the potato plunderer?
322
00:17:26,811 --> 00:17:29,309
Me? Whose allotment
looks like a pile of shit?!
323
00:17:29,311 --> 00:17:31,779
Do you think I could be
bothered to dig up potatoes?
324
00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:33,881
Look at my hands.
Look how clean they are.
325
00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:35,983
You think I could be bothered
to muddy them up to get your
326
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:39,519
dirty ass potatoes because this
is a little bit of "newsflash",
327
00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:41,689
they're available in
a fucking supermarket,
328
00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:43,657
and they're a pound! But then
you probably didn't know that
329
00:17:43,659 --> 00:17:46,358
did you? You bloody
wanna be English moron.
330
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,527
You watch your
tone, you little twat!
331
00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:50,596
Twat?! Hahahaha.
332
00:17:50,598 --> 00:17:52,465
Twoa! Twat! What
are you gonna do now?
333
00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:54,500
Bludgeon me with
that spade? Give it to me!
334
00:17:54,502 --> 00:17:56,302
'Cause if there's gonna be any
bludgeoning happening today,
335
00:17:56,304 --> 00:17:57,770
I will not be on
the receiving end!
336
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:58,671
You are mad!
337
00:17:58,673 --> 00:18:01,372
You don't know the
fucking half of it!
338
00:18:01,374 --> 00:18:03,808
Yeah, run!
Run little American boy!
339
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:06,578
It's pronounced,
"twot" You bloody American!
340
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,446
I'm Canadian!
341
00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:09,950
[STABBING SOUND]
342
00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:16,722
Mr. Parsons? Mr. Parsons?
343
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:21,425
Mr. Parsons?!
344
00:18:21,427 --> 00:18:24,695
[THRILLING MUSIC]
345
00:18:24,697 --> 00:18:27,331
[REMOVING ADHESIVE SOUND]
346
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:28,799
Bobbi! Bobbi,
something terrible has happened!
347
00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:29,933
Get out!
348
00:18:29,935 --> 00:18:31,934
What the hell are you doing?
349
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,369
- What are y...
- Go away!
350
00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:36,407
Oh! Oh! Oh! God! Oh!
351
00:18:36,975 --> 00:18:39,407
Well, on that note, I don t
think he'll be coming back!
352
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:42,845
[SLAMMING DOOR SOUND]
Mm mmm. Oooh, that's nice!
353
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,480
For a moment, I
actually felt like Casimir!
354
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:48,083
I was like moving towards him,
and he was like, stepping back.
355
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:52,386
I could see the
fear in his eyes. It was...
356
00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:56,892
- What?
- What is that, on your shoulder?
357
00:18:56,894 --> 00:19:00,095
Oooh! Oh, God! Christ!
358
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:04,299
Oh, God. Bobbi was giving
Harriet a wax on her lady bits.
359
00:19:04,766 --> 00:19:06,599
- Hand it over!
- What?
360
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:07,767
- Give it.
- No!
361
00:19:07,769 --> 00:19:09,636
- Yes. Yes!
- No.
362
00:19:09,638 --> 00:19:11,138
No way!
363
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:12,639
- Come on, now.
- That's sick man.
364
00:19:12,641 --> 00:19:13,773
I'm not doing it.
365
00:19:13,775 --> 00:19:16,778
I'll give you one
sword of Chronos.
366
00:19:18,713 --> 00:19:21,513
Sword of Chronos and an
extra D8 on my combat roles?
367
00:19:21,515 --> 00:19:24,018
Ahhh, D4?
368
00:19:26,053 --> 00:19:27,519
Just don't do
anything disgusting with it.
369
00:19:27,521 --> 00:19:28,522
Ah.
370
00:19:30,024 --> 00:19:32,624
I can smell her Labia.
371
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:34,760
You are a revolting man!
372
00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:36,093
I know.
373
00:19:36,095 --> 00:19:38,462
So, you were saying?
374
00:19:38,464 --> 00:19:40,798
Right. Yeah, so he
kinda hobbles off, falls over,
375
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,568
and doesn't
bloody get up again.
376
00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:46,573
[OMINOUS MUSIC BUILD UP]
377
00:19:54,046 --> 00:19:56,048
[FLY BUZZING SOUND]
378
00:19:57,448 --> 00:19:59,117
Oh, fuck.
379
00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:03,088
Oh, God.
380
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:10,592
Bloody hippie leaving his
bloody tools laying around.
381
00:20:10,594 --> 00:20:12,560
So that's the serial killer?
382
00:20:12,562 --> 00:20:14,462
A hippie serial killer, really?
383
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:15,797
Oh, it's a great cover.
384
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:18,600
No. Birch is the
hippie. Doc is th...
385
00:20:18,602 --> 00:20:19,901
Serial killer!
386
00:20:19,903 --> 00:20:20,902
Creepy cowboy guy.
387
00:20:20,904 --> 00:20:22,104
Anyway, you're meant to
tread on the rake and
388
00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:24,705
have it hit you in the face.
You're not meant to fall on it
389
00:20:24,707 --> 00:20:26,540
and have it brain
you. It's just not funny!
390
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:29,077
Oh. It kinda is.
391
00:20:29,079 --> 00:20:31,445
Well, and convenient!
392
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,147
So, what'd you do next?
393
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,815
I managed to drag
him back to my shed.
394
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,516
Ahh!
395
00:20:36,518 --> 00:20:37,851
[GRUNTING SOUND]
396
00:20:37,853 --> 00:20:39,854
Nearly bloody killed me.
397
00:20:46,661 --> 00:20:47,994
I'm gonna have
to go to the Police.
398
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,795
No way, man!
You'll look guilty as hell.
399
00:20:49,797 --> 00:20:50,730
It was an accident.
400
00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:52,832
Well, so why did
you move the body then?
401
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,133
I don't know.
402
00:20:54,135 --> 00:20:56,501
What if somebody
heard or saw the argument?
403
00:20:56,503 --> 00:20:57,569
I don't know!
404
00:20:57,571 --> 00:20:59,804
Well, you should definitely
dispose of the corpse.
405
00:20:59,806 --> 00:21:02,473
Graham, you really have
no grip on the real world.
406
00:21:02,475 --> 00:21:04,910
Oh, spoken like
a true hypocrite.
407
00:21:04,912 --> 00:21:07,913
Why don't you just bury it
in the serial killer's plot?
408
00:21:07,915 --> 00:21:09,915
Oh, that's at the
other end of the allotment.
409
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:12,116
Finish me off
dragging his fat ass back there.
410
00:21:12,118 --> 00:21:14,785
Well, bury it in yours then. I
mean if it's as messy as you say
411
00:21:14,787 --> 00:21:16,719
then nobody will ever find it.
412
00:21:16,721 --> 00:21:19,123
Christ! Even the thought
of dragging him another foot
413
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:21,524
gives me a bloody asthma attack.
414
00:21:21,526 --> 00:21:23,559
Arrffff.
415
00:21:23,561 --> 00:21:26,564
[BATTLE SOUNDS]
416
00:21:34,905 --> 00:21:36,907
[HORSE NEIGH SOUND]
417
00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:42,845
[BATTLE SOUNDS CONTINUE]
418
00:21:49,218 --> 00:21:50,753
Ohh.
419
00:21:57,226 --> 00:21:59,793
I'll think of something.
420
00:21:59,795 --> 00:22:01,928
Maybe.
421
00:22:01,930 --> 00:22:04,933
[MEDIEVAL ROCK MUSIC]
422
00:22:10,272 --> 00:22:13,474
[CAR ALARM SOUNDS]
423
00:22:17,812 --> 00:22:19,979
[PASSING HELICOPTER SOUNDS]
424
00:22:19,981 --> 00:22:21,983
[CAT GROWLING SOUNDS]
425
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:27,888
[POLICE SIRES WAILING]
426
00:22:33,625 --> 00:22:35,892
I think you should
unleash some of that old
427
00:22:35,894 --> 00:22:38,530
Casimir vengeance on him.
428
00:22:40,966 --> 00:22:43,969
[DRAMATIC
MEDIEVAL MUSIC]
429
00:22:47,772 --> 00:22:50,039
Some imagination you've got?!
430
00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:51,640
It's my fantasy.
431
00:22:51,642 --> 00:22:54,643
Ha! You could've given
me some armor or something.
432
00:22:54,645 --> 00:22:56,645
And I mean, what the
hell's that supposed to be?
433
00:22:56,647 --> 00:22:58,647
Like I said, it's my fantasy.
434
00:22:58,649 --> 00:23:00,151
Really?
435
00:23:03,887 --> 00:23:06,821
Suck on that, Potter!
436
00:23:06,823 --> 00:23:10,058
You can have her
Sir Brandt. Make the most of it.
437
00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:13,728
For she will soon be as dead as
the vile creatures she commands.
438
00:23:13,730 --> 00:23:18,632
Oh yeah? We'll see about that.
439
00:23:18,634 --> 00:23:21,636
[INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP]
440
00:23:30,079 --> 00:23:33,082
[MUSIC TEMPO PICKS UP]
441
00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:43,024
Ha-ha! You cannot
defeat us both Wizard!
442
00:23:44,159 --> 00:23:45,224
Yield!
443
00:23:45,226 --> 00:23:48,660
The cold lure of this
grave-robbing vixen was enough
444
00:23:48,662 --> 00:23:51,296
to turn you
from faith, eh, Palladin?
445
00:23:51,298 --> 00:23:56,000
Ha. Do not mock my
new faith, Bumblebore!
446
00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,936
and you know nothing of the
heat that heat that lies between
447
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:03,408
that Vixen's legs. But you will
feel the sting of her blade,
448
00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:07,143
When she cuts your
legs from beneath you.
449
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:10,148
[EPIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
450
00:24:14,986 --> 00:24:18,121
PETER: Sorry!
I thought you were one of them.
451
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,827
Don't waste any time. Find
your sanctuary. Go to ground!
452
00:24:25,729 --> 00:24:26,995
What?
453
00:24:26,997 --> 00:24:30,000
It's the big one!
I must document everything!
454
00:24:35,172 --> 00:24:38,175
[EPIC MUSIC BUILD UP]
455
00:24:47,951 --> 00:24:50,652
[GROWLING SOUND]
456
00:24:55,424 --> 00:24:58,626
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
457
00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:11,870
[CHOPPING SOUND]
458
00:25:11,872 --> 00:25:14,839
[CONTINUOUS CHOPPING SOUNDS]
459
00:25:14,841 --> 00:25:16,843
[SITAR FADES IN]
460
00:25:28,787 --> 00:25:31,221
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
461
00:25:31,223 --> 00:25:33,225
[GROWLING SOUNDS]
462
00:25:36,128 --> 00:25:39,131
[PASSING SCREAM SOUNDS]
463
00:25:43,101 --> 00:25:45,103
[WHEEZING SOUNDS]
464
00:25:45,436 --> 00:25:49,107
[RADIO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]
[FLY BUZZING SOUNDS]
465
00:26:00,883 --> 00:26:03,918
[ALARMS WAILING]
466
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,354
[GUNSHOT SOUNDS]
467
00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:08,358
[EXPLOSION SOUNDS]
468
00:26:20,436 --> 00:26:23,836
RADIO JACK: There remains a multitude
of unanswered questions first and
469
00:26:23,838 --> 00:26:27,273
forth most regarding the cause
of this horrible turn of events.
470
00:26:27,275 --> 00:26:29,175
I can't believe, but
when it comes down to it,
471
00:26:29,177 --> 00:26:32,110
the only fact that matters is
the one we can no longer ignore.
472
00:26:32,112 --> 00:26:35,480
And that is, that it seems, and
I still find it hard to put into
473
00:26:35,482 --> 00:26:38,217
words, despite having
seen evidence first hand.
474
00:26:38,219 --> 00:26:43,021
We're genuinely in the midst
of an actual zombie apocalypse.
475
00:26:43,023 --> 00:26:46,258
Now joining me in discussion
for these "end of days"
476
00:26:46,260 --> 00:26:48,459
is Kevin Bartlett. Now
Kevin, hello and welco...
477
00:26:48,461 --> 00:26:51,062
KEVIN: Yeah, yeah, hi John.
What I'd like to say I'm happy to be here
478
00:26:51,064 --> 00:26:54,498
RADIO JACK: Er quite! So,
er what's your take on this whole debacle?
479
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:57,301
KEVIN: Well, first of all,
I could've predicted this would happen.
480
00:26:57,303 --> 00:27:00,204
I-I did it, I know, I know
but I-I look. I mean look,
481
00:27:00,206 --> 00:27:02,838
We've been obsessed forever,
with bloody zombie this and
482
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,475
zombie that. Do you know how
many zombie films are churned
483
00:27:05,477 --> 00:27:06,809
- out each year.
- Quite a few I'm sure.
484
00:27:06,811 --> 00:27:10,413
KEVIN: Er yep, m-my theory,
and you mentioned earlier about not
485
00:27:10,415 --> 00:27:13,583
knowing the "how" of all this.
Well, I'll tell you exactly how
486
00:27:13,585 --> 00:27:17,254
this has all fucking happened.
Sorry, can I swear John? Well
487
00:27:17,256 --> 00:27:20,054
it doesn't matter now does it?
It's simple, and testament to
488
00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:23,224
the towering power of the media
and the public conscience.
489
00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,927
We've spent so long fawning over
these shuffling bags of bones,
490
00:27:25,929 --> 00:27:30,399
reveling in film after film, TV
shows, books, video games, and
491
00:27:30,401 --> 00:27:33,935
hoaxes, people have been
genuinely waiting for this day.
492
00:27:33,937 --> 00:27:37,337
And why? Because with this kind
of PR it would be rude to have
493
00:27:37,339 --> 00:27:39,373
a fucking zombie apocalypse.
494
00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:43,379
- Er Kevin, can I stop you there.
- Yeah, wha-what's going on bud?
495
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:50,083
RADIO JACK: I think. I thi...
[INDISCERNIBLE SCREAMS]
496
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,786
KEVIN:
No, no!
497
00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,058
KEVIN:
Let's get to the roof!
498
00:27:59,060 --> 00:28:00,226
KEVIN:
Well, to the helicopter!
499
00:28:00,228 --> 00:28:02,463
RADIO JACK:
Fucking helicopter? What?
500
00:28:06,234 --> 00:28:09,236
[INDISCERNIBLE SCREAMS]
501
00:28:15,941 --> 00:28:18,944
[SMOOTH JAZZ]
502
00:28:28,554 --> 00:28:30,256
Ohh!
503
00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:40,598
[OMINOUS TONE]
504
00:28:55,378 --> 00:28:56,544
It's alright for you.
505
00:28:56,546 --> 00:28:59,647
You don t have to hack up
and bury the people you kill!
506
00:28:59,649 --> 00:29:02,885
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BURNING FLAMES SOUND]
507
00:29:09,325 --> 00:29:11,193
Casmir the Cremator.
508
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,862
That's got a
bit of a ring to it!
509
00:29:17,666 --> 00:29:19,534
Right, back to work.
510
00:29:26,574 --> 00:29:28,607
Ooh, oh!
511
00:29:28,609 --> 00:29:31,276
Ohh. Ugh.
512
00:29:31,278 --> 00:29:35,046
[FLY BUZZING SOUND]
513
00:29:35,048 --> 00:29:37,115
Alight Mr. Parsons.
514
00:29:37,117 --> 00:29:39,620
Let's not keep
your legs waiting!
515
00:29:42,188 --> 00:29:44,355
Unfortunately you're going to be
spending the rest of eternity in
516
00:29:44,357 --> 00:29:47,023
my disgrace of a plot.
517
00:29:47,025 --> 00:29:49,560
I'll try and tidy up for you.
518
00:29:49,562 --> 00:29:53,096
God, I'll be glad to
see the back of you.
519
00:29:53,098 --> 00:29:54,099
Ugh.
520
00:29:56,703 --> 00:29:59,904
God! You are one ugly bastard!
521
00:30:01,339 --> 00:30:04,041
Ahh! What the fuck?!
522
00:30:06,277 --> 00:30:08,279
Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God!
523
00:30:12,683 --> 00:30:15,383
Get off my crotch! Ahh!
524
00:30:15,385 --> 00:30:18,188
Ahh! Ahhh!
525
00:30:19,556 --> 00:30:21,558
Bloody open you.
526
00:30:23,427 --> 00:30:26,694
Ahh! Aahhh!
527
00:30:26,696 --> 00:30:31,030
Ugh! Help! Heeeelp!
528
00:30:31,032 --> 00:30:34,101
I've got half a gardner
in here! He's trying to kill me!
529
00:30:34,103 --> 00:30:36,605
Help me! Heeeelp!
530
00:30:41,710 --> 00:30:45,111
Please, help! He's got
my legs, he's got my legs!
531
00:30:45,113 --> 00:30:47,112
He's got, ohh god he's got!
532
00:30:47,114 --> 00:30:50,117
You fucking door! Ahhh!!!
533
00:30:52,454 --> 00:30:56,556
Pleeease! Ahh! Ahhhhh!
534
00:30:56,558 --> 00:30:59,124
Oh, God! Oh, God!
535
00:30:59,126 --> 00:31:01,128
[DRONING SOUND]
536
00:31:05,465 --> 00:31:10,401
Oh, God! Ahh! Ahh!
Ahhh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh, God!
537
00:31:10,403 --> 00:31:12,303
Ahh, God!
538
00:31:12,305 --> 00:31:15,308
[FRANTIC STRING
INSTRUMENTS BUILD UP]
539
00:31:24,483 --> 00:31:27,486
[FRANTIC MUSIC FADES OUT]
540
00:31:31,656 --> 00:31:33,658
Ohh! Ohh!
541
00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:42,498
- You!
- Ahh. Ahhhh. Aghhhhh!
542
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,166
The only thing is, you
were actually more annoying
543
00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:45,667
when you were alive.
544
00:31:45,669 --> 00:31:48,637
[HELICOPTER FLYING SOUNDS]
545
00:31:48,639 --> 00:31:50,640
Help! Help!
546
00:31:54,744 --> 00:31:57,578
TREVOR:
Heeeeelp! Agh!
547
00:31:57,580 --> 00:32:00,347
Aghh! Heeeeelp!
548
00:32:00,349 --> 00:32:02,817
[PEACEFUL SITAR]
549
00:32:02,819 --> 00:32:06,021
[GROWLING SOUNDS]
550
00:32:09,591 --> 00:32:13,192
BIRCH: I know a cry for
help when I hear one.
551
00:32:13,194 --> 00:32:15,196
Come on, Birchy boy!
552
00:32:18,366 --> 00:32:22,168
Ahh! Ahhh! Aaaaahhh!
553
00:32:28,408 --> 00:32:31,209
Four bars,
half battery! Booyahhhhh!
554
00:32:31,211 --> 00:32:33,411
Right, Bobbi.
555
00:32:33,413 --> 00:32:34,414
Right.
556
00:32:36,716 --> 00:32:38,782
Come on, Bobbi.
Come on. Answer, answer.
557
00:32:38,784 --> 00:32:40,551
Answer the phone.
558
00:32:40,553 --> 00:32:43,554
[EROTIC MUSIC]
559
00:32:43,556 --> 00:32:46,559
[MOANING SOUNDS]
560
00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,632
There's more of
them. They've got her.
561
00:32:55,199 --> 00:32:57,198
PARSONS:
Aghhaaahh!
562
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,704
[CHOKING SOUNDS]
563
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,343
I have to make another
call. Don't you ever get tired?
564
00:33:08,580 --> 00:33:10,579
Shhh!
565
00:33:10,581 --> 00:33:13,481
[PHONE RINGING]
566
00:33:13,483 --> 00:33:17,351
OPERATOR: Thank you for calling 999,
the UK's leading emergency service.
567
00:33:17,353 --> 00:33:19,721
Your call is currently in a
queue and will be dealt with
568
00:33:19,723 --> 00:33:22,826
as soon as one of our
operators becomes available.
569
00:33:23,593 --> 00:33:26,159
For God's sake!
570
00:33:26,161 --> 00:33:29,164
[EASY LISTENING MUSIC]
571
00:33:39,274 --> 00:33:42,474
OPERATOR: Your call is important to us.
Thank you for your patience.
572
00:33:42,476 --> 00:33:44,276
- Please continue to ho...
- For God's sake!
573
00:33:44,278 --> 00:33:46,411
[INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER]
574
00:33:46,413 --> 00:33:49,416
[EASY LISTENING MUSIC CONTINUES]
575
00:33:55,756 --> 00:33:58,456
Oh, you like that do you? Ohhh!
576
00:33:58,458 --> 00:34:00,460
[CROW CAWING SOUND]
577
00:34:05,565 --> 00:34:08,766
Who'll be at home, who'll
be at home, who'll be at home?
578
00:34:08,768 --> 00:34:11,838
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Graham
579
00:34:13,305 --> 00:34:15,839
Oooh, Mistress Morana!
580
00:34:15,841 --> 00:34:19,976
Oh! Oh, mistress!
581
00:34:19,978 --> 00:34:21,978
Oh! Ughh.
582
00:34:21,980 --> 00:34:25,182
[RINGTONE AND VIBRATING SOUND]
583
00:34:25,884 --> 00:34:29,318
Jesus, T! You scared
the crap out of me!
584
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,386
GRAHAM:
Good thing I'm on the crapper.
585
00:34:31,388 --> 00:34:34,757
God, that is a disgusting image!
Look, look, I need your help.
586
00:34:34,759 --> 00:34:35,858
Kinda busy.
587
00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:37,692
Doing what?
588
00:34:37,694 --> 00:34:40,963
Umm, polishing my sword.
589
00:34:40,965 --> 00:34:43,631
Look, even though you've got a
sword, I know that means your
590
00:34:43,633 --> 00:34:46,233
penis! Can you just put it away
in your pants and fucking come
591
00:34:46,235 --> 00:34:49,238
and help me?
We've got a situation.
592
00:34:52,741 --> 00:34:54,341
What's that noise?
593
00:34:54,343 --> 00:34:59,246
That's the
situation. Mr. Parsons is now
594
00:34:59,248 --> 00:35:01,281
zombie Parsons!
595
00:35:01,283 --> 00:35:02,948
GRAHAM:
Hahaha! shut up.
596
00:35:02,950 --> 00:35:05,618
I'm serious Graham!
Look, I only called Bobbi.
597
00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:08,254
I think they already got her.
598
00:35:08,256 --> 00:35:12,024
Wait a minute. Am I on bloody
speaker phone? And who's they?
599
00:35:12,026 --> 00:35:15,730
Do you b...?
The bloody zombies that's who!
600
00:35:19,933 --> 00:35:21,900
I'm not the first
person you called?
601
00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:24,703
You're not the second either.
I've got bloody 999 on hold as
602
00:35:24,705 --> 00:35:25,704
we speak.
603
00:35:25,706 --> 00:35:28,573
Ha, you put 999 on hold?
604
00:35:28,575 --> 00:35:30,975
Well they put me on hold first!
605
00:35:30,977 --> 00:35:32,844
Yeah, I hate it
when they do that.
606
00:35:32,846 --> 00:35:35,378
It's bloody ridiculous. Anyway
look, I'm trapped in the shed
607
00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:37,413
somehow. I can't get out. And I
need you to come down here...
608
00:35:37,415 --> 00:35:39,515
Well, I can't.
609
00:35:39,517 --> 00:35:41,451
What? Something more pressing?
610
00:35:41,453 --> 00:35:44,387
Look, ughh. Just twat
the thing over the head and
611
00:35:44,389 --> 00:35:47,623
bash your way out. I mean, it's
a shed. I'm sure you'll manage.
612
00:35:47,625 --> 00:35:49,559
Are you, are you kidding me?
613
00:35:49,561 --> 00:35:52,461
Look, I've gotta go. I'll
see you tonight, alright?
614
00:35:52,463 --> 00:35:53,996
No.
615
00:35:53,998 --> 00:35:56,565
No! No.
616
00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:59,269
No! Ahhh!
617
00:35:59,870 --> 00:36:03,505
Fuuuuuck! Fuck! Idiot!
618
00:36:03,507 --> 00:36:05,640
Ahhhhhh!
619
00:36:05,642 --> 00:36:08,509
Ohhh.
620
00:36:08,511 --> 00:36:11,881
Ohhhhh, yessss!
621
00:36:12,315 --> 00:36:15,549
OPERATOR: Is this call a
genuine emergency? If so...
622
00:36:15,551 --> 00:36:18,554
[FRANTIC ORCHESTRA]
623
00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,592
[INDISCERNIBLE PHONE CHATTER]
624
00:36:31,066 --> 00:36:34,268
Ahh! Ahh! Ahhhh! Ahhh! Ahh!
625
00:36:42,943 --> 00:36:45,778
My shoe! My shoe!
626
00:36:45,780 --> 00:36:48,046
Ugh! Ahh!
627
00:36:48,048 --> 00:36:49,715
That's my bloody shoe!
628
00:36:49,717 --> 00:36:52,617
Give me my shoe!
Give me my bloody shoes!
629
00:36:52,619 --> 00:36:55,354
That was my last pair of Nike's!
630
00:36:55,554 --> 00:36:57,387
OPERATOR:
Please continue to hold.
631
00:36:57,389 --> 00:36:59,422
One of our operators
will be with you shortly.
632
00:36:59,424 --> 00:37:00,992
Now, a word from our sponsors.
633
00:37:00,994 --> 00:37:05,062
SPONSOR: are you suffering
from stabbing pain, headaches?
634
00:37:05,064 --> 00:37:08,765
The kind of stubborn pain
that sits right behind your eyes
635
00:37:08,767 --> 00:37:10,766
and won't go aw...
636
00:37:10,768 --> 00:37:12,470
Ahhh!
637
00:37:15,473 --> 00:37:19,510
No! no, no! Nooo! Not
now! Not now! Nooo! Nooo!
638
00:37:27,717 --> 00:37:32,120
[ORCHESTRA FADES OUT]
639
00:37:32,122 --> 00:37:35,292
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
640
00:37:38,895 --> 00:37:40,862
Ahh! Ahhh!
641
00:37:40,864 --> 00:37:43,866
[UPLIFTING ORCHESTRA]
642
00:37:50,973 --> 00:37:53,874
Hahahaha. Hahaha. Ahh.
643
00:37:53,876 --> 00:37:56,879
[ORCHESTRA FADES OUT]
644
00:38:01,582 --> 00:38:03,584
[GARGLING SOUNDS]
645
00:38:07,521 --> 00:38:09,821
Oh, you wanna
get that roof fixed!
646
00:38:09,823 --> 00:38:10,824
You mind?
647
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:17,496
[SCREAMS]
[STABBING SOUNDS]
648
00:38:23,069 --> 00:38:26,072
[STABBING SOUNDS CONTINUE]
649
00:38:29,709 --> 00:38:32,577
By the way, I did
take your potatoes.
650
00:38:35,046 --> 00:38:37,180
Sorry mate, I seriously
thought you were joking earlier!
651
00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:39,515
It's fine.
652
00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:41,684
What, so you wore a helmet,
but you didn't bring a sword?
653
00:38:41,686 --> 00:38:43,853
Yeah, look, it's one thing
walking around town wearing
654
00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:45,921
this, which, by the way,
is a very clever move,
655
00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:48,790
but I can't be dragging
a sword around town.
656
00:38:48,792 --> 00:38:50,592
It's bloody heavy for starters.
657
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:53,195
Well, at least you
got over your agoraphobia.
658
00:38:53,197 --> 00:38:55,529
Yeah, yeah alright,
I'm not agoraphobic. Fine.
659
00:38:55,531 --> 00:38:56,765
Surprise.
660
00:38:56,767 --> 00:39:00,102
Look, at least I came, yeah?
It's bloody dangerous out here!
661
00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:02,003
I saw two women
eating another woman.
662
00:39:02,005 --> 00:39:03,838
What, did you
watch it on your phone?
663
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,207
Not like that!
And I saw some hippie
664
00:39:06,209 --> 00:39:08,675
chewing some blokes arm off!
665
00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:10,679
Oh, bloody vegans!
666
00:39:12,781 --> 00:39:14,614
I think we should
head to the coast.
667
00:39:14,616 --> 00:39:16,549
- What?
- Well, there might be boats.
668
00:39:16,551 --> 00:39:18,684
- That's a stupid fucking idea!
- No, it's not.
669
00:39:18,686 --> 00:39:20,819
Yes it is. Where's Bobbi?
670
00:39:20,821 --> 00:39:23,089
- I dunno. I think they got her.
- You think?
671
00:39:23,091 --> 00:39:24,224
Can't be sure.
672
00:39:24,226 --> 00:39:25,927
Harriet's with Bobbi.
673
00:39:27,862 --> 00:39:30,796
We need to save our women!
674
00:39:30,798 --> 00:39:33,731
We really, we, we really don't.
675
00:39:33,733 --> 00:39:35,934
I cou...
676
00:39:35,936 --> 00:39:39,103
So my thinking is, you
know what choice does she have?
677
00:39:39,105 --> 00:39:42,507
Suicide? Becoming a sex
slave for a heavily armed gang?
678
00:39:42,509 --> 00:39:44,609
Donating her
brain to the hungry?
679
00:39:44,611 --> 00:39:45,843
Well none of
that's likely to happen.
680
00:39:45,845 --> 00:39:48,146
I think it's more likely than
her shacking up with you in some
681
00:39:48,148 --> 00:39:50,614
post-apocalyptic wasteland.
682
00:39:50,616 --> 00:39:53,216
Hahahaha. You wait.
683
00:39:53,218 --> 00:39:56,186
Chicks dig a
knight in shining armor!
684
00:39:56,188 --> 00:39:57,988
What the hell?
685
00:39:57,990 --> 00:40:02,726
God! I think
it's Peter? Well, part of him.
686
00:40:02,728 --> 00:40:04,795
What, you can
tell just from his arm?
687
00:40:04,797 --> 00:40:06,195
No.
688
00:40:06,197 --> 00:40:07,732
The camera.
689
00:40:12,236 --> 00:40:16,571
PETER: My name is Peter Jones.
I'm a-well, I'm doing my masters in
690
00:40:16,573 --> 00:40:20,577
agriculture, but that's doesn't
matter right now. Start again.
691
00:40:22,212 --> 00:40:26,814
My name is Peter Jones,
and I'm a concerned citizen.
692
00:40:26,816 --> 00:40:29,783
If you're watching this these
could be the very last recorded
693
00:40:29,785 --> 00:40:33,154
thoughts of mankind. It's
not too late for you though.
694
00:40:33,156 --> 00:40:37,192
You can escape. These
things are slow and cumbersome.
695
00:40:37,194 --> 00:40:41,594
Ahh! Ahh-ahh! Ahhhh! ahhh!
696
00:40:41,596 --> 00:40:46,065
Ah-ahhaha!
Ahh-ha! Oohoohoo! Ahhh!
697
00:40:46,067 --> 00:40:48,601
Ahhh! Oh, God!
698
00:40:48,603 --> 00:40:51,804
Oh, Jesus! Oh, Christ!
699
00:40:51,806 --> 00:40:56,608
Ahh-haha! Aaaah! Ah-ha!
700
00:40:56,610 --> 00:40:59,613
[EATING SOUNDS]
701
00:41:04,251 --> 00:41:05,917
Documenting the
zombie apocalypse?
702
00:41:05,919 --> 00:41:07,052
Who the hell's gonna
watch it?
703
00:41:07,054 --> 00:41:08,922
Us apparently!
704
00:41:10,223 --> 00:41:12,957
Oh, Christ! And now
they're best buddies. Great.
705
00:41:12,959 --> 00:41:14,792
Well, if you cant
eat 'em, join 'em.
706
00:41:14,794 --> 00:41:16,894
Right, I'll take
Peter, you take Ted!
707
00:41:16,896 --> 00:41:17,862
What about her?
708
00:41:17,864 --> 00:41:20,331
She's got a dodgy
leg. She'll be a while.
709
00:41:20,333 --> 00:41:23,067
Come on, you!
710
00:41:23,069 --> 00:41:25,071
Come ooon, youuu!
711
00:41:27,605 --> 00:41:29,738
Ahh! Take that you idiot!
712
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:32,741
Ah! Yes! Ugh! Ug! h
713
00:41:32,743 --> 00:41:35,844
- Do they die this way?
- I'm not sure!
714
00:41:35,846 --> 00:41:39,850
- Take that! Take that!
- Ugh! Ugh!
715
00:41:40,751 --> 00:41:43,254
- Ahh!
- Oh, God. No!
716
00:41:49,759 --> 00:41:53,094
[INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP]
717
00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:57,100
No, Doc. No, no,
It's, it's me. Ahh!
718
00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:01,301
[MUSICAL BUILD UP FADES]
719
00:42:01,303 --> 00:42:03,737
Thank you?
720
00:42:03,739 --> 00:42:04,905
Yeah, thanks Doc.
721
00:42:04,907 --> 00:42:06,608
DOC:
Don't mention it.
722
00:42:09,645 --> 00:42:11,978
You look like you've been busy.
723
00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:14,413
It's like fucking Christmas.
724
00:42:14,415 --> 00:42:17,183
I've got a more
traditional approach to
725
00:42:17,185 --> 00:42:19,187
Christmas myself but,
726
00:42:21,255 --> 00:42:24,890
You know I don't know why you're
looking so shocked Trevor.
727
00:42:24,892 --> 00:42:29,195
I saw what you did
to Parsons. Very impressive.
728
00:42:29,197 --> 00:42:30,727
Thank you.
729
00:42:30,729 --> 00:42:33,233
So, ugh, what's in the bag?
730
00:42:34,401 --> 00:42:37,770
- You don't want to know.
- Huh, I do. Hm.
731
00:42:40,173 --> 00:42:41,772
Oh!
732
00:42:41,774 --> 00:42:44,242
- Oh, heads!
- Heads?
733
00:42:44,244 --> 00:42:46,945
Yeah! hahaha.
734
00:42:49,814 --> 00:42:52,382
What's in the other bag?
735
00:42:52,384 --> 00:42:54,218
You really don't want to know.
736
00:42:54,220 --> 00:42:56,222
Hm. Pretty open-minded.
737
00:43:03,428 --> 00:43:06,630
Oh! Fu... ohh!
738
00:43:07,731 --> 00:43:08,997
GRAHAM:
Ohh!
739
00:43:08,999 --> 00:43:13,368
Lady parts. You know, If you
soak 'em in vinegar long enough,
740
00:43:13,370 --> 00:43:17,405
Just like calamari.
741
00:43:17,407 --> 00:43:20,174
We have to go!
742
00:43:20,176 --> 00:43:21,976
Ah, I've got to
go and see my wife.
743
00:43:21,978 --> 00:43:24,011
Yeah, and Harriet.
744
00:43:24,013 --> 00:43:26,313
Well, hasta la vista guys.
745
00:43:26,315 --> 00:43:27,848
Maybe see you around?
746
00:43:27,850 --> 00:43:29,717
Yeah, better hope not.
747
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,153
Especially if
you're one of them.
748
00:43:32,155 --> 00:43:34,287
You know they're not human.
749
00:43:34,289 --> 00:43:38,825
Best thing to do is, you see
'em, kill 'em. Simple right?
750
00:43:38,827 --> 00:43:41,928
Noted. Thank you
very much. Very useful.
751
00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:43,363
I would hope you'd
do the same for me.
752
00:43:43,365 --> 00:43:45,864
- Yeah.
- You see me shuffling around,
753
00:43:45,866 --> 00:43:49,371
kill me. 'Cause I don't
wanna be one of the living dead.
754
00:43:52,206 --> 00:43:55,773
I wanna be one
of the dead, dead.
755
00:43:55,775 --> 00:43:57,777
Dead, dead. Got it.
756
00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:06,350
Well, don't worry.
I'll clean up your mess.
757
00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:07,884
Alright.
758
00:44:07,886 --> 00:44:09,353
Okay, thank you.
759
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:12,255
I told you he
was a serial killer!
760
00:44:12,257 --> 00:44:15,093
Ahhaaahh!
761
00:44:19,465 --> 00:44:21,264
That's something
you don't see everyday.
762
00:44:21,266 --> 00:44:23,132
Yeah.
763
00:44:23,134 --> 00:44:25,167
This is your street isn't it?
764
00:44:25,169 --> 00:44:30,072
Yeah, alright, keep up with me.
Keep your eyes open. Let's go!
765
00:44:30,074 --> 00:44:32,474
Bollocks!
766
00:44:32,476 --> 00:44:36,180
[INTENSE ORCHESTRA BUILD UP]
767
00:44:49,926 --> 00:44:51,428
Oh!
768
00:44:54,096 --> 00:44:57,099
[SERENE MUSIC]
769
00:45:01,070 --> 00:45:04,036
OPHELIA:
Lie still, Sir Casimir!
770
00:45:04,038 --> 00:45:07,008
You are wounded.
But you will live.
771
00:45:08,076 --> 00:45:10,077
I'll make sure of it.
772
00:45:15,182 --> 00:45:18,451
So beautiful. Who are you?
773
00:45:18,453 --> 00:45:22,120
My name is Ophelia.
And these are my sisters,
774
00:45:22,122 --> 00:45:24,124
Iphelea and Upheleme.
775
00:45:29,563 --> 00:45:34,233
We are honored to tend to
someone so brave as you.
776
00:45:35,835 --> 00:45:39,436
We are humbled
by your presence.
777
00:45:39,438 --> 00:45:44,309
Yet, I would still
beg for one small favor.
778
00:45:45,977 --> 00:45:46,978
Anything.
779
00:45:49,948 --> 00:45:52,615
A kiss
780
00:45:52,617 --> 00:45:55,918
from your brave lips.
781
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,922
Should you
have the strength, sire?
782
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,424
Hmm.
783
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:06,796
[GENTLE STRING QUARTET]
784
00:46:20,008 --> 00:46:23,209
My sisters would
ask the same favor.
785
00:46:23,211 --> 00:46:25,914
should you have the strength?
786
00:46:30,951 --> 00:46:32,987
Think so.
787
00:46:35,657 --> 00:46:37,189
- Oh!
- Hahaha.
788
00:46:37,191 --> 00:46:38,357
Welcome back, T!
789
00:46:38,359 --> 00:46:41,661
Oh, Thanks.
790
00:46:41,663 --> 00:46:43,896
How long was I out?
791
00:46:43,898 --> 00:46:45,631
Oh, a couple of days.
792
00:46:45,633 --> 00:46:48,166
Oh, Christ!
What's it like out there?
793
00:46:48,168 --> 00:46:51,002
Hahaha. Just kidding!
794
00:46:51,004 --> 00:46:53,037
Before you start on me,
795
00:46:53,039 --> 00:46:56,107
you look like a bloody zombie
because you're covered in blood.
796
00:46:56,109 --> 00:46:59,344
If you'd come to the
front door. Oh, no sorry, wait.
797
00:46:59,346 --> 00:47:02,212
I suppose you lost your
keys as well as your inhaler.
798
00:47:02,214 --> 00:47:05,282
Do you know what Trevor? You
are so rubbish when it comes to
799
00:47:05,284 --> 00:47:08,352
crisis like this,
you really fucking are.
800
00:47:08,354 --> 00:47:11,455
Oh, come on Bobbi, he's
just woken up, give him a break.
801
00:47:11,457 --> 00:47:14,460
No, because he's a
lazy bastard, Harriet!
802
00:47:15,627 --> 00:47:17,660
Why's she wearing my shirt?
803
00:47:17,662 --> 00:47:20,864
I think that's
obvious. Hmhmmhmm.
804
00:47:21,932 --> 00:47:25,434
Well, faced with the
imminent prospect of death
805
00:47:25,436 --> 00:47:30,272
they, uh, finally gave
into their sapphic whims.
806
00:47:30,274 --> 00:47:32,073
TREVOR:
What?
807
00:47:32,075 --> 00:47:34,076
I think they had sex!
808
00:47:37,447 --> 00:47:39,449
Now, that I'd like to see.
809
00:47:44,253 --> 00:47:46,188
Well, half of it anyway. Haha.
810
00:47:47,591 --> 00:47:49,723
Hey, don't stretch
that. That's my favorite.
811
00:47:49,725 --> 00:47:52,427
It was until you
"tittied" it up!
812
00:47:55,130 --> 00:47:59,031
Oh, Christ!
Oh, I need to take a shower.
813
00:47:59,033 --> 00:48:01,735
There's more pressing
things than you washing Trevor.
814
00:48:01,737 --> 00:48:04,704
Are there Bobbi? Are there
really? 'Cause let me tell you
815
00:48:04,706 --> 00:48:07,439
something. While you've been in
here munching on your friend,
816
00:48:07,441 --> 00:48:10,342
the world out there
has gone to absolute shit!
817
00:48:10,344 --> 00:48:13,011
So before this
apocalypse really kicks in,
818
00:48:13,013 --> 00:48:15,247
I'd like one last shot
at some hot water, okay?
819
00:48:15,249 --> 00:48:17,749
So my suggestion to you
is, shut your fucking mouth,
820
00:48:17,751 --> 00:48:20,152
and put the
immersion on! 'Cause right now,
821
00:48:20,154 --> 00:48:22,620
I really wanna wash
these fucking brains off me.
822
00:48:22,622 --> 00:48:24,755
I don't think there's
any need to swear at me
823
00:48:24,757 --> 00:48:27,558
Yes, there is actually!
There's every fucking need!
824
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,326
And may I point
out that thus far,
825
00:48:29,328 --> 00:48:31,995
the only injury I've received
is from my fuckwit of a wife
826
00:48:31,997 --> 00:48:34,698
and not from a fucking zombie!
827
00:48:34,700 --> 00:48:39,669
- Trevor?
- Apology fucking accepted!
828
00:48:39,671 --> 00:48:43,005
Right, I'm now going
upstairs to take a shower.
829
00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:45,073
Stay away from the
doors and windows, alright?
830
00:48:45,075 --> 00:48:47,477
Just keep quiet,
everything will be fine,
831
00:48:47,479 --> 00:48:50,582
we'll sort everything
else out when I get back.
832
00:48:57,420 --> 00:48:59,422
Well, that was awkward. Err?
833
00:49:02,592 --> 00:49:05,595
[SOMBER ORCHESTRATION]
834
00:49:44,364 --> 00:49:47,064
So, you "Bi" then?
835
00:49:47,066 --> 00:49:48,833
Who said that?
836
00:49:48,835 --> 00:49:51,036
Well, you know, you and Bobbi?
837
00:49:52,806 --> 00:49:55,473
Maybe I'm a lesbian.
838
00:49:55,475 --> 00:49:57,741
Maybe? What, you don't know?
839
00:49:57,743 --> 00:50:00,677
No darling, you don't know.
840
00:50:00,679 --> 00:50:05,682
Nah, I don't buy it.
All that stuff at the salon.
841
00:50:05,684 --> 00:50:08,687
We all want a
happy ending Graham.
842
00:50:11,790 --> 00:50:14,523
Well,
843
00:50:14,525 --> 00:50:17,661
I guess we're never
going to get one now.
844
00:50:20,197 --> 00:50:21,198
Trevor?
845
00:50:23,835 --> 00:50:25,001
- What?
- Oh, for God's sake,
846
00:50:25,003 --> 00:50:28,703
I've seen that pathetic
excuse for a penis enough times.
847
00:50:28,705 --> 00:50:32,139
Well your vagina s.
rubbish. what do you want?
848
00:50:32,141 --> 00:50:34,642
Oh, for God's. Is that
any way to talk to your wife?
849
00:50:34,644 --> 00:50:38,379
Eh? Anyway, look,
I just wanted to say 'sorry'.
850
00:50:38,381 --> 00:50:40,648
You know, about,
about the old Harriet thing.
851
00:50:40,650 --> 00:50:42,683
And I know
you're pissed off.
852
00:50:42,685 --> 00:50:45,885
- I'm really not.
- But, if it's any consolation,
853
00:50:45,887 --> 00:50:48,588
it's 'cause she
wanted a threesome with us.
854
00:50:48,590 --> 00:50:49,422
She what?
855
00:50:49,424 --> 00:50:53,493
Ah. See,
I thought you'd like that.
856
00:50:53,495 --> 00:50:56,498
[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]
Just.
857
00:51:17,750 --> 00:51:20,818
How is he?
858
00:51:20,820 --> 00:51:21,821
Ugh.
859
00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:27,225
Ugh. Morana! Morana! Oh, God!
860
00:51:28,660 --> 00:51:32,796
Oh, yeah.
Morana. Oh, Morana.
861
00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:36,799
- Ohhhhh!
- Oh, Casimir!
862
00:51:36,801 --> 00:51:39,668
You're so HUGE!
863
00:51:39,670 --> 00:51:42,438
Much bigger than Sir Brandt.
864
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,940
Oh, yes! Fill me!
865
00:51:44,942 --> 00:51:49,611
Morana you dirty
little temptress! Aghh, Ohh!
866
00:51:49,613 --> 00:51:53,715
Oh yes, I've never been
filled like this before!
867
00:51:53,717 --> 00:51:57,518
Feel my power Morana!
Feel my power inside you!
868
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,521
Fill me with your staff
of power! It's so good!
869
00:52:00,523 --> 00:52:04,425
Oh, you're so huge! Oh, Casimir!
870
00:52:04,427 --> 00:52:06,693
- Feel my power!
- Oh! Oh! Give it to me!
871
00:52:06,695 --> 00:52:09,596
- Ohh! Ohh!
- Give it to me!
872
00:52:09,598 --> 00:52:11,531
- Ohh!
- Casimir!
873
00:52:11,533 --> 00:52:13,432
Alright, lover. Do you
mind if I sit of your face
874
00:52:13,434 --> 00:52:15,468
while you fuck my friend? Haha!
875
00:52:15,470 --> 00:52:19,575
Ooh! Oh! Oh, God! Oh!
876
00:52:22,242 --> 00:52:23,976
- What the hell?
- Zombies!
877
00:52:23,978 --> 00:52:27,512
- They've got in!
- My face!
878
00:52:27,514 --> 00:52:30,415
- It's Harriet's fault!
- Hey!
879
00:52:30,417 --> 00:52:31,919
You muppets!
880
00:52:33,921 --> 00:52:36,923
[SINISTER TONE]
881
00:52:39,225 --> 00:52:42,228
[MOANING SOUNDS]
882
00:52:57,375 --> 00:53:00,378
[INAUDIBLE]
883
00:53:08,986 --> 00:53:12,188
[MOANING SOUNDS CONTINUE]
884
00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:19,596
TREVOR:
Feel my, feel my power!
885
00:53:21,565 --> 00:53:23,765
I could of sworn
I heard something.
886
00:53:23,767 --> 00:53:25,533
Like what?
887
00:53:25,535 --> 00:53:27,902
I dunno.
888
00:53:27,904 --> 00:53:32,773
Fucking Trevor. Why'd
he have to come back?
889
00:53:32,775 --> 00:53:37,444
I know, right. When we
were having so much fun!
890
00:53:37,446 --> 00:53:40,547
I'm wet just thinking about it.
891
00:53:40,549 --> 00:53:42,514
You're a very bad girl!
892
00:53:42,516 --> 00:53:46,520
[MOANING SOUNDS]
There! Didn't you hear that?
893
00:53:59,799 --> 00:54:00,832
Ahh!
894
00:54:00,834 --> 00:54:03,568
[INTENSE MUSICAL ORCHESTRA]
895
00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:06,573
Ah, Stop! Ah! Ohh!
896
00:54:08,675 --> 00:54:11,609
Oh, my God! Run! Zombies!
897
00:54:11,611 --> 00:54:13,312
Zombies!
898
00:54:22,721 --> 00:54:24,521
- What the hell?
- Zombies!
899
00:54:24,523 --> 00:54:27,858
- They've got in!
- My face!
900
00:54:27,860 --> 00:54:31,660
What did I say?
Tell me, what did I say?
901
00:54:31,662 --> 00:54:34,362
I said, stay away from
the doors and windows.
902
00:54:34,364 --> 00:54:37,032
These things. Anything but
advertise our presence.
903
00:54:37,034 --> 00:54:39,467
That's all you had to do.
Literally everything.
904
00:54:39,469 --> 00:54:42,637
And yet I get five minutes to
clean up and somehow you,
905
00:54:42,639 --> 00:54:46,540
mouth breathers, manage
to let in pervy Uncle Fester!
906
00:54:46,542 --> 00:54:48,109
It wasn't me T!
907
00:54:48,111 --> 00:54:51,345
I know Graham. I know.
908
00:54:51,347 --> 00:54:53,514
My face, it really hurts!
909
00:54:53,516 --> 00:54:55,849
I'm sorry about that
Harriet, I really am, although
910
00:54:55,851 --> 00:54:56,918
I could say, I told you so.
911
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,686
Oh, don't be
so bloody smug Trevor.
912
00:54:59,688 --> 00:55:03,056
And why shouldn't I be smug,
Bobbi? For once something
913
00:55:03,058 --> 00:55:07,360
terrible has happened and it
isn't my bloody fault! Hahahaha!
914
00:55:07,362 --> 00:55:08,363
Ugh.
915
00:55:09,798 --> 00:55:10,799
Fuck.
916
00:55:16,137 --> 00:55:19,339
[THROWING UP SOUNDS]
917
00:55:27,548 --> 00:55:29,049
Ahhhhhh?
918
00:55:40,059 --> 00:55:41,060
Ohh.
919
00:55:46,431 --> 00:55:49,600
Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shh!
920
00:55:50,769 --> 00:55:53,169
[INDISTINCT MUMBLING]
921
00:55:53,171 --> 00:55:55,372
[GROANING SOUNDS]
922
00:56:00,511 --> 00:56:01,512
Christ!
923
00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:06,449
[SUSPENSEFUL AMBIENCE BUILD UP]
924
00:56:12,822 --> 00:56:15,558
Shh! Shhh! Shhh!
925
00:56:20,530 --> 00:56:23,964
Wait. Wait.
926
00:56:23,966 --> 00:56:25,966
I Think they've
headed to the bedroom.
927
00:56:25,968 --> 00:56:28,702
We need to make a break for it.
928
00:56:28,704 --> 00:56:30,170
Make a break for it?
929
00:56:30,172 --> 00:56:33,206
Ugh, yes!
The compound is breached!
930
00:56:33,208 --> 00:56:35,108
What we gonna do about her?
931
00:56:35,110 --> 00:56:36,642
Well, she comes too!
932
00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:40,813
No, she's been, uh...
933
00:56:40,815 --> 00:56:43,916
BOBBI: Listen, if we
go, we've gotta go now!
934
00:56:43,918 --> 00:56:45,517
I can't go out in just a towel!
935
00:56:45,519 --> 00:56:46,585
Oh, man up!
936
00:56:46,587 --> 00:56:47,786
I'll man up when you
give me your bloody clothes.
937
00:56:47,788 --> 00:56:50,089
Well, why don't you go to
the bedroom then, and slip into
938
00:56:50,091 --> 00:56:51,556
something a little
more comfortable,
939
00:56:51,558 --> 00:56:53,490
with dead fucking Derek?!
940
00:56:53,492 --> 00:56:55,059
- Shit!
- No, he's right.
941
00:56:55,061 --> 00:56:56,895
He needs clothes.
942
00:56:56,897 --> 00:56:58,897
Thank you, Graham.
943
00:56:58,899 --> 00:57:02,499
You're gonna have to kill Derek.
944
00:57:02,501 --> 00:57:06,503
You expect me to wrestle
a zombie in just a towel?
945
00:57:06,505 --> 00:57:09,472
That's really, that's
really supportive. Thank you.
946
00:57:09,474 --> 00:57:13,811
Fucking sake! Do
not leave me alone with him!
947
00:57:15,014 --> 00:57:17,014
I'm still here Bobbi!
948
00:57:17,016 --> 00:57:20,083
I know, I know
mate. I just meant...
949
00:57:20,085 --> 00:57:22,952
HARRIET:
Bloody Derek!
950
00:57:22,954 --> 00:57:24,955
I gave him a discount even.
951
00:57:27,191 --> 00:57:28,558
I did!
952
00:57:30,694 --> 00:57:33,795
Fine. Fine.
953
00:57:33,797 --> 00:57:35,797
I'll do it.
954
00:57:35,799 --> 00:57:37,499
I'll deal with Derek.
955
00:57:37,501 --> 00:57:38,600
Oh, you don't
have to do that mate.
956
00:57:38,602 --> 00:57:41,902
No, no, no. No, no.
It's okay. I'll take care of it.
957
00:57:41,904 --> 00:57:45,572
Ugh, I'll distract him while
you go and get on a pair of
958
00:57:45,574 --> 00:57:47,576
bloody trousers and shit.
959
00:57:49,645 --> 00:57:52,212
You'd do that just for me?
960
00:57:52,214 --> 00:57:53,582
Yes, mate.
961
00:57:55,885 --> 00:57:58,284
Give us a hug!
962
00:57:58,286 --> 00:58:00,987
Uhh, okay. Enough of that.
963
00:58:00,989 --> 00:58:01,921
That's uhh...
964
00:58:01,923 --> 00:58:04,759
That, that was not,
not to do with that.
965
00:58:06,593 --> 00:58:09,862
Okay, ugh, we'll be right back.
966
00:58:09,864 --> 00:58:12,866
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
967
00:58:25,279 --> 00:58:26,646
Ughhuhh.
968
00:58:36,755 --> 00:58:39,089
Harr-Harriet?
969
00:58:39,091 --> 00:58:42,625
What's happening to me?
970
00:58:42,627 --> 00:58:45,629
You're going to be okay,
alright? You're gonna be fine.
971
00:58:53,337 --> 00:58:55,039
Stay behind me.
972
00:59:03,279 --> 00:59:06,282
HARRIET: I can't believe
Derek actually bit me.
973
00:59:08,018 --> 00:59:11,788
He's usually so gentle with me.
974
00:59:14,991 --> 00:59:18,994
Yeah. I-I-I told Trevor that
you'd have a threesome with us.
975
00:59:22,663 --> 00:59:23,999
Oh, God.
976
00:59:29,071 --> 00:59:31,937
I really didn't,
I didn't mean it.
977
00:59:31,939 --> 00:59:33,905
This is for
fucking the lovely Morana!
978
00:59:33,907 --> 00:59:36,710
You festering
piece of offal! Ahh!
979
00:59:37,711 --> 00:59:38,712
Ahh!
980
00:59:50,222 --> 00:59:52,925
Go on, Trevor! I've got this!
981
00:59:59,832 --> 01:00:03,069
Ahhh! Ahha! Ahhhh!
982
01:00:07,205 --> 01:00:09,172
[STRUGGLING SOUNDS]
983
01:00:09,174 --> 01:00:10,175
Ah!
984
01:00:17,415 --> 01:00:19,749
See! All those times you
bitched at me for leaving
985
01:00:19,751 --> 01:00:21,985
clothes on the
floor. And now it pays off!
986
01:00:24,922 --> 01:00:28,023
Is she turning?
987
01:00:28,025 --> 01:00:30,858
Oh, I think so, yeah.
988
01:00:30,860 --> 01:00:33,195
Right so, that's you
fully dressed then?
989
01:00:33,197 --> 01:00:35,199
Well, it's a start isn't it?
990
01:00:38,700 --> 01:00:42,136
Harriet? I know seems
horribly inappropriate but
991
01:00:42,138 --> 01:00:44,371
do you think I could
possibly have my t-shirt now?
992
01:00:44,373 --> 01:00:46,072
Oh, for fucks
sake Trevor, come on!
993
01:00:46,074 --> 01:00:47,073
What?
994
01:00:47,075 --> 01:00:48,942
Just why don't you get
some dirty ones out the
995
01:00:48,944 --> 01:00:50,743
laundry basket
or something? Why?
996
01:00:50,745 --> 01:00:52,378
[OPENING AND
CLOSING DOOR SOUNDS]
997
01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:54,880
You've got to be shitting me!
998
01:00:54,882 --> 01:00:56,915
Graham.
999
01:00:56,917 --> 01:00:59,284
Cheers mate!
1000
01:00:59,286 --> 01:01:02,289
Hey, I told you I had it?
1001
01:01:04,792 --> 01:01:06,293
Now I have!
1002
01:01:08,428 --> 01:01:09,629
GRAHAM:
What?
1003
01:01:15,702 --> 01:01:18,136
- What, I've got two.
- Ugh.
1004
01:01:18,138 --> 01:01:20,173
I'd forgot it
was in there, alright?
1005
01:01:25,410 --> 01:01:29,246
I have laid waste
to your enemy my lady!
1006
01:01:29,248 --> 01:01:31,950
Vengeance is yours!
1007
01:01:34,752 --> 01:01:36,353
We're fucked mate.
1008
01:01:36,355 --> 01:01:37,954
You two should
probably get out,
1009
01:01:37,956 --> 01:01:41,023
you know, before any of
the others find their way in.
1010
01:01:41,025 --> 01:01:42,026
Yeah.
1011
01:01:50,368 --> 01:01:52,867
I'll never forget this.
1012
01:01:52,869 --> 01:01:55,373
Oh, right, Trev.
Come on, let's go.
1013
01:01:59,942 --> 01:02:03,076
So long, Sir Brandt!
1014
01:02:03,078 --> 01:02:05,346
Farewell, brave Casim...
1015
01:02:05,348 --> 01:02:08,516
Oh, for fucks sake. Come
on, Sir Wankalot. Let's go.
1016
01:02:08,518 --> 01:02:11,220
- Sorry.
- Bye, Bobbi.
1017
01:02:17,392 --> 01:02:19,394
Thought you might need this.
1018
01:02:22,197 --> 01:02:24,297
I didn't know you cared.
1019
01:02:24,299 --> 01:02:26,000
Oh, don't be silly.
1020
01:02:28,502 --> 01:02:30,704
Well, I'm sorry about Harriet.
1021
01:02:31,772 --> 01:02:35,874
I'm sorry about.
1022
01:02:35,876 --> 01:02:37,878
- Graham.
- Yeah.
1023
01:02:42,883 --> 01:02:45,884
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
1024
01:02:56,529 --> 01:02:58,995
Graham?
1025
01:02:58,997 --> 01:03:00,563
I know my love.
1026
01:03:00,565 --> 01:03:04,101
This is the only
end I could of wished for too.
1027
01:03:08,072 --> 01:03:10,939
I want
1028
01:03:10,941 --> 01:03:15,877
to ea-eaaa...
1029
01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:20,881
I, I want you.
1030
01:03:20,883 --> 01:03:23,152
I want you.
1031
01:03:31,227 --> 01:03:33,226
Come on, let's beat this thing.
1032
01:03:33,228 --> 01:03:35,996
[MOANING SOUNDS]
1033
01:03:35,998 --> 01:03:38,000
- Come on.
- We should get going.
1034
01:03:39,268 --> 01:03:41,034
Were you serious about
that threesome by the way?
1035
01:03:41,036 --> 01:03:42,469
Because, umm, if you were,
1036
01:03:42,471 --> 01:03:44,571
there might still
be other people alive.
1037
01:03:44,573 --> 01:03:47,775
[ROMANTIC OPERA MUSIC]
1038
01:04:09,028 --> 01:04:12,031
[ROMANTIC
OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES]
1039
01:04:29,981 --> 01:04:32,984
[OPERA MUSIC FADES OUT]
1040
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:39,523
[BELL RINGING]
[OMINOUS TONE]
1041
01:04:48,198 --> 01:04:49,199
Balls!
1042
01:04:52,468 --> 01:04:54,470
- Double balls!
- Yeah!
1043
01:04:56,172 --> 01:04:59,473
Hey, numb nuts!
1044
01:04:59,475 --> 01:05:01,908
Say hello to my little friend!
1045
01:05:01,910 --> 01:05:02,909
Ahh!
1046
01:05:02,911 --> 01:05:05,914
[HIGH TEMPO PERCUSSION]
1047
01:05:07,483 --> 01:05:09,184
Ahhhhh!
1048
01:05:12,187 --> 01:05:14,522
Ain't no ice cream
in your fucking future!
1049
01:05:16,157 --> 01:05:18,090
Doc! Thank God!
1050
01:05:18,092 --> 01:05:21,394
Well, don't thank him. I'm the
one doing all the heavy lifting!
1051
01:05:21,396 --> 01:05:23,995
- Is this the wife?
- Oh yeah, Bobbi.
1052
01:05:23,997 --> 01:05:26,398
- Bobbi Doc, Doc Bobbi.
- Nice!
1053
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:27,699
Hiya!
1054
01:05:27,701 --> 01:05:29,200
Why don't you take the lady,
1055
01:05:29,202 --> 01:05:32,169
and I will handle
the rest of these fuckers!
1056
01:05:32,171 --> 01:05:34,071
Lady?
1057
01:05:34,073 --> 01:05:36,641
Ah, it's just a figure of
speech, no offense intended.
1058
01:05:36,643 --> 01:05:38,610
No, none taken at all.
1059
01:05:38,612 --> 01:05:41,044
Wh-why don't you come with us?
1060
01:05:41,046 --> 01:05:44,615
No, I'm having too much fun.
1061
01:05:44,617 --> 01:05:47,550
But why don't you take
her some place nice and quiet
1062
01:05:47,552 --> 01:05:49,986
and start to
work on repopulating.
1063
01:05:49,988 --> 01:05:52,991
Looks like she's got
some child-bearing hips.
1064
01:05:56,127 --> 01:05:58,527
I'll see you around.
1065
01:05:58,529 --> 01:06:00,531
Haaaaaaa!
1066
01:06:04,168 --> 01:06:06,301
So why can't you just
be like Doc then, Trevor?
1067
01:06:06,303 --> 01:06:07,736
I'm not going to be
like him. He's a weirdo.
1068
01:06:07,738 --> 01:06:10,038
Right. Well, you're
meant to be the fucking hero.
1069
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:12,073
Did you see him? He had,
he had a bag full of vaginas
1070
01:06:12,075 --> 01:06:14,742
and who wears a cowboy hat
outside bloody East London?
1071
01:06:14,744 --> 01:06:16,310
- Wel...
- I, I'm taking you somewhere.
1072
01:06:16,312 --> 01:06:17,745
Alright?
1073
01:06:17,747 --> 01:06:19,480
I'm taking you somewhere
safe, and things are going to be
1074
01:06:19,482 --> 01:06:21,249
better. We're going to
be able to live off the land.
1075
01:06:21,251 --> 01:06:23,116
We're going to be able to
start again. Everything's gonna
1076
01:06:23,118 --> 01:06:24,285
be great,
alright? I promise you.
1077
01:06:24,287 --> 01:06:27,223
Everything's going to be
incredibly, incredibly amazing.
1078
01:06:33,762 --> 01:06:36,230
So, this is your
somewhere safe then?
1079
01:06:42,103 --> 01:06:46,070
Well, I like
to say "get a life".
1080
01:06:46,072 --> 01:06:48,139
Precious commodity now.
1081
01:06:48,141 --> 01:06:51,144
Yeah, well maybe
you're a sad excuse for one.
1082
01:06:54,247 --> 01:06:57,449
I'm glad you're
still alive Trev.
1083
01:06:57,451 --> 01:06:58,452
Thanks.
1084
01:07:00,186 --> 01:07:01,687
Wait here.
1085
01:07:14,266 --> 01:07:15,434
Oh, Christ!
1086
01:07:17,769 --> 01:07:20,472
Trev?
[INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER]
1087
01:07:24,609 --> 01:07:25,610
Trevor?
1088
01:07:27,445 --> 01:07:30,613
So?
1089
01:07:30,615 --> 01:07:31,781
TREVOR:
Come in!
1090
01:07:31,783 --> 01:07:32,982
Cheers!
1091
01:07:37,688 --> 01:07:40,691
Well, at least it's not raining.
1092
01:07:41,692 --> 01:07:44,325
Well, only 'cau-cause
your toys would get wet.
1093
01:07:44,327 --> 01:07:46,761
- They're not toys.
- No. Well, yeah they are.
1094
01:07:46,763 --> 01:07:48,596
No, yo-you wouldn't understand.
1095
01:07:48,598 --> 01:07:51,632
No, Trevor. I understand. I
understand that this is your
1096
01:07:51,634 --> 01:07:54,400
hide-out, and that you'll do
anything else except prepare
1097
01:07:54,402 --> 01:07:55,603
for the fucking world to end.
1098
01:07:55,605 --> 01:07:58,171
But, yeah. I guess I should
of seen that coming should I?
1099
01:07:58,173 --> 01:07:59,405
- Jesus!
- Trevor, Trevor?!
1100
01:07:59,407 --> 01:08:02,442
How are we meant to survive if
all you're doing is playing with
1101
01:08:02,444 --> 01:08:05,444
toys and brewing whatever
the fuck are in them bottles?
1102
01:08:05,446 --> 01:08:08,113
It's not brewing, it's
distilling! And it-it's vodka!
1103
01:08:08,115 --> 01:08:10,482
Right! Okay, then. Well,
I'll tell you what we'll do.
1104
01:08:10,484 --> 01:08:13,820
We'll get really, really pissed
on your moonshine, yeah?
1105
01:08:13,822 --> 01:08:16,688
And then with any luck,
hopefully, hopefully we'll be
1106
01:08:16,690 --> 01:08:19,291
that fucking pissed we won't
feel a thing when the zombies
1107
01:08:19,293 --> 01:08:22,360
come and fucking eat us!
1108
01:08:22,362 --> 01:08:23,427
- What is that?
- Lea-leave it!
1109
01:08:23,429 --> 01:08:24,695
- What Is that?
- Come on, I just came
1110
01:08:24,697 --> 01:08:27,198
in here deliberately before you
so you wouldn't have to see it.
1111
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:30,436
You don't want to
see it. It's messy.
1112
01:08:33,806 --> 01:08:35,306
Are you protecting me?
1113
01:08:35,308 --> 01:08:36,840
No, I just don't want
you throwing up in my shed.
1114
01:08:36,842 --> 01:08:39,843
- Are you being a gentleman?
- Hardly.
1115
01:08:39,845 --> 01:08:42,345
Oh, Trevor!
1116
01:08:42,347 --> 01:08:43,813
The one that
used to be so sweet.
1117
01:08:43,815 --> 01:08:46,181
- Don't be ridiculous
- He's back!
1118
01:08:46,183 --> 01:08:47,519
Shut up!
1119
01:08:50,689 --> 01:08:54,557
Look Trevor, you know,
you know about Harriet?
1120
01:08:54,559 --> 01:08:57,459
It's okay. I forgive you.
1121
01:08:57,461 --> 01:09:00,796
Really? Because I-I
was afraid you were dead.
1122
01:09:00,798 --> 01:09:03,866
You know, I just wanted
pleasure before I was too.
1123
01:09:03,868 --> 01:09:06,267
Totally understandable.
1124
01:09:06,269 --> 01:09:08,636
Ah, but, at least there
weren't any men involved.
1125
01:09:08,638 --> 01:09:09,704
There is that.
1126
01:09:09,706 --> 01:09:12,506
And you weren't dead.
1127
01:09:12,508 --> 01:09:13,843
Not yet.
1128
01:09:16,445 --> 01:09:18,813
You know we could.
1129
01:09:18,815 --> 01:09:20,314
What?
1130
01:09:20,316 --> 01:09:22,917
Well, it's been a
long time hasn't it?
1131
01:09:22,919 --> 01:09:25,919
Jesus Bobbi, are you
trying to seduce me?
1132
01:09:25,921 --> 01:09:30,124
Oh, Trevor. I remember the time
where you didn't need seducing.
1133
01:09:31,359 --> 01:09:34,927
What was it that
you used to call it?
1134
01:09:34,929 --> 01:09:36,631
Staff of power.
1135
01:09:37,832 --> 01:09:39,599
- Oop!
- Oh!
1136
01:09:39,601 --> 01:09:44,169
- There it is! Eeheehee haha
- Oh. There it is!
1137
01:09:44,171 --> 01:09:46,671
- Ugh. Mmm.
- Oh, Trevor.
1138
01:09:46,673 --> 01:09:49,808
God, it feels
a bit cold you know.
1139
01:09:49,810 --> 01:09:53,179
Maybe I should get my
warm mouth over it, yeah?
1140
01:09:56,916 --> 01:10:00,283
Ouch! For fucks sake!
1141
01:10:00,285 --> 01:10:02,786
Bastard fucking.
1142
01:10:02,788 --> 01:10:04,955
Christ almighty little shit!
1143
01:10:04,957 --> 01:10:08,257
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no. Careful with him!
1144
01:10:08,259 --> 01:10:10,861
- Careful with him? With him?
- Can I, can I just have him?
1145
01:10:10,863 --> 01:10:14,196
It's a piece of metal you twat,
that went straight into my leg.
1146
01:10:14,198 --> 01:10:16,766
Straight into my leg as I
was about to suck your dick.
1147
01:10:16,768 --> 01:10:17,934
You ungrateful sod!
1148
01:10:17,936 --> 01:10:19,969
Please, just, just, just,
just give him to me please.
1149
01:10:19,971 --> 01:10:21,436
Just, just, just
let me have him.
1150
01:10:21,438 --> 01:10:24,239
Oh God, Gandalf the fucking gay!
1151
01:10:24,241 --> 01:10:25,242
Casimir.
1152
01:10:29,445 --> 01:10:31,812
Cas-im-there, now!
1153
01:10:31,814 --> 01:10:34,817
[GROWLING SOUNDS]
[DRAMATIC TONE]
1154
01:10:37,787 --> 01:10:39,489
God damn it!
1155
01:10:41,557 --> 01:10:42,725
Woman!
1156
01:10:45,594 --> 01:10:47,894
- Shit!
- Oh, please Trevor!
1157
01:10:47,896 --> 01:10:49,898
Man the fuck up!
1158
01:10:54,236 --> 01:10:56,603
Oh, shhhit!
1159
01:10:56,605 --> 01:10:59,472
[TENSE ORCHESTRAL]
1160
01:10:59,474 --> 01:11:02,341
They came back.
1161
01:11:02,343 --> 01:11:04,242
BOBBI:
Back? Wh-what do you mean back?
1162
01:11:04,244 --> 01:11:05,746
Back here.
1163
01:11:06,781 --> 01:11:08,783
They're the allotment tenants.
1164
01:11:11,485 --> 01:11:14,953
Well, maybe they're
headed somewhere familiar?
1165
01:11:14,955 --> 01:11:16,888
- Bit like yourself?
- It's dawn of the dead Bobbi.
1166
01:11:16,890 --> 01:11:18,089
This isn't a
fucking shopping mall!
1167
01:11:18,091 --> 01:11:21,291
Well, either way the gardeners
are back. You know, you know
1168
01:11:21,293 --> 01:11:24,996
maybe the-they're
hungry for some fleshier shit
1169
01:11:24,998 --> 01:11:26,563
than fucking cabbage.
1170
01:11:26,565 --> 01:11:27,734
Yeah.
1171
01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:32,236
Fuck.
1172
01:11:33,271 --> 01:11:37,406
Trev, you reckon we
should shut the door lock?
1173
01:11:37,408 --> 01:11:39,742
Trev?
1174
01:11:39,744 --> 01:11:42,045
Fuck off.
1175
01:11:42,047 --> 01:11:43,748
Fuck off!
1176
01:11:45,683 --> 01:11:48,685
[INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP]
1177
01:11:56,059 --> 01:11:59,527
Shit, can't stop
making it fucking hurt.
1178
01:11:59,529 --> 01:12:00,530
God.
1179
01:12:02,699 --> 01:12:05,701
[MOANING SOUNDS]
1180
01:12:12,808 --> 01:12:13,809
Fuck.
1181
01:12:25,820 --> 01:12:27,887
I bet every shed on
this allotment has fucking
1182
01:12:27,889 --> 01:12:32,392
built in super cool
zombie killing gun stuff.
1183
01:12:37,765 --> 01:12:40,466
You could of at least
brought a golf club Trevor!
1184
01:12:48,909 --> 01:12:52,442
Trevor?
Trevor say something.
1185
01:12:52,444 --> 01:12:54,446
Ma-maybe I'm immune.
1186
01:12:56,448 --> 01:12:59,451
[BANGING SOUNDS]
1187
01:13:07,691 --> 01:13:12,094
Ah, come Casimir!
1188
01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:16,365
We have been at odds for
as long as I can recall, and
1189
01:13:16,367 --> 01:13:20,402
now I must offer
you an Olive branch
1190
01:13:20,404 --> 01:13:22,704
in your time of need.
1191
01:13:22,706 --> 01:13:24,839
Along with some sage advice
1192
01:13:24,841 --> 01:13:27,875
to assist you in
your predicament.
1193
01:13:27,877 --> 01:13:32,445
Thank you, Sir Brandt.
I appreciate your counsel.
1194
01:13:32,447 --> 01:13:37,452
Do you recall the Autumn
campaign some five years past?
1195
01:13:38,955 --> 01:13:43,890
Perhaps you can remind
me of the particulars.
1196
01:13:43,892 --> 01:13:47,127
Hahaha. My Lady Morana,
1197
01:13:47,129 --> 01:13:50,563
great strategist that she was,
1198
01:13:50,565 --> 01:13:54,834
had ordered her main
force to assault your castle,
1199
01:13:54,836 --> 01:13:58,536
whilst sending her seventh
battalion of zombie volunteers
1200
01:13:58,538 --> 01:14:02,841
into the otherwise impenetrable
swamp of Sagra since they would
1201
01:14:02,843 --> 01:14:06,845
be immune to the
poisonous fumes therein.
1202
01:14:06,847 --> 01:14:10,448
Hahaha. Yes, I do recall.
1203
01:14:10,450 --> 01:14:14,985
A glorious pincer movement.
Hahaha. She, uh, cleverly
1204
01:14:14,987 --> 01:14:16,987
fed you the information
1205
01:14:16,989 --> 01:14:20,123
by sacrificing her scouts
1206
01:14:20,125 --> 01:14:22,125
A worthy opponent.
1207
01:14:22,127 --> 01:14:25,095
Knowing that you would
have to divide your forces and
1208
01:14:25,097 --> 01:14:29,465
fight a losing
battle on two fronts.
1209
01:14:29,467 --> 01:14:30,900
But you,
1210
01:14:30,902 --> 01:14:34,503
you brave Casimir,
1211
01:14:34,505 --> 01:14:38,040
took it upon yourself to
take on the seventh alone,
1212
01:14:38,042 --> 01:14:41,978
from a hillside overlooking
the swamp, by hurling balls
1213
01:14:41,980 --> 01:14:44,980
of fire into the
combustible lowlands,
1214
01:14:44,982 --> 01:14:48,717
incinerating the entire
battalion single-handed.
1215
01:14:48,719 --> 01:14:50,785
Yes. Yes!
1216
01:14:50,787 --> 01:14:53,654
before returning to your men and
1217
01:14:53,656 --> 01:14:56,157
successfully
repelling my attack.
1218
01:14:56,159 --> 01:14:59,692
Yes, yo-you, you're
saying I should leave Bobbi.
1219
01:14:59,694 --> 01:15:02,196
No you twat! Well
that as well probably.
1220
01:15:02,198 --> 01:15:05,400
I'm saying you
should torch the fuckers!
1221
01:15:08,237 --> 01:15:10,603
I've got it. I know
what we have to do.
1222
01:15:10,605 --> 01:15:11,606
What?
1223
01:15:13,541 --> 01:15:15,574
Right, they're all
round the front, yeah?
1224
01:15:15,576 --> 01:15:16,742
And?
1225
01:15:16,744 --> 01:15:18,810
We douse the shed in Trevoff.
1226
01:15:18,812 --> 01:15:19,878
Trevoff? Fucking hell.
1227
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:22,915
We douse the shed in
Trevoff, open the front door,
1228
01:15:22,917 --> 01:15:25,717
climb out the back, make a
break for it, I'll make one into
1229
01:15:25,719 --> 01:15:27,920
a molotov. We'll chuck
it in. Burn them to death.
1230
01:15:27,922 --> 01:15:30,756
More death. You, you know.
Just, they won't do anything.
1231
01:15:30,758 --> 01:15:31,758
Yeah.
1232
01:15:38,131 --> 01:15:41,134
[MUSICAL BUILD UP]
1233
01:15:50,142 --> 01:15:53,145
[CONTINUOUS BANGING SOUNDS]
1234
01:16:04,554 --> 01:16:07,058
I'm saving one so
we can celebrate later.
1235
01:16:11,996 --> 01:16:14,999
[GLASS CLINKING SOUNDS]
1236
01:16:27,810 --> 01:16:30,813
You know it only takes
one of us to open the door?
1237
01:16:33,682 --> 01:16:35,948
I'm not leaving you.
1238
01:16:35,950 --> 01:16:37,652
Yes, you are.
1239
01:16:39,053 --> 01:16:41,821
Like you said you might be
immune. We can't know for sure.
1240
01:16:41,823 --> 01:16:43,055
- Trevor?
- We can't assume.
1241
01:16:43,057 --> 01:16:45,891
assume makes an ass out of you
and me. That's a famous phrase.
1242
01:16:45,893 --> 01:16:47,026
Trevor?
1243
01:16:47,028 --> 01:16:51,230
- Assumption is the mother of...
- Trevor!
1244
01:16:51,232 --> 01:16:53,934
God, you know better
than to argue with me.
1245
01:16:57,270 --> 01:16:59,639
Just don't let me
become one of them.
1246
01:17:07,612 --> 01:17:11,283
And you were right. I did
start smoking to annoy you!
1247
01:17:15,121 --> 01:17:17,123
Right, just go.
You'll be alright.
1248
01:17:19,624 --> 01:17:22,627
Just don't make me ask
you again, alright? Now, go!
1249
01:17:26,630 --> 01:17:28,233
I said, go! Go.
1250
01:17:31,068 --> 01:17:34,071
[UPLIFTING EPIC MUSIC]
1251
01:17:41,245 --> 01:17:44,247
[MOANING AND GROWLING SOUNDS]
1252
01:17:54,123 --> 01:17:57,223
BOBBI:
You fucking bitches!
1253
01:17:57,225 --> 01:18:00,228
BOBBI:
[INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER]
1254
01:18:03,198 --> 01:18:06,201
[PAINFUL SCREAMING SOUNDS]
1255
01:18:19,413 --> 01:18:22,416
[EPIC MUSIC FADES OUT]
1256
01:18:26,287 --> 01:18:29,287
[THUNDER SOUNDS]
1257
01:18:29,289 --> 01:18:32,292
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
1258
01:18:45,036 --> 01:18:49,439
NARRATOR: In the months that passed,
Trevor learned to tend the land.
1259
01:18:49,441 --> 01:18:53,876
To survive. He'd all
but forgotten Casimir.
1260
01:18:53,878 --> 01:18:56,812
Hell, he'd become Casimir.
1261
01:18:56,814 --> 01:18:58,948
A bloody hero, as much as any
1262
01:18:58,950 --> 01:19:03,952
man alone can be.
The real heroes he often
1263
01:19:03,954 --> 01:19:07,856
reflected as he worked,
were those that died so
1264
01:19:07,858 --> 01:19:12,861
that he might live. Bobbi.
Graham. He would always
1265
01:19:12,863 --> 01:19:14,865
remember their sacrifices.
1266
01:19:22,704 --> 01:19:24,204
DOC:
They're not human anymore.
1267
01:19:24,206 --> 01:19:28,210
They're dead.
When you see 'em, you kill 'em.
1268
01:19:31,980 --> 01:19:33,980
And I hope you'd
do the same for me?
1269
01:19:33,982 --> 01:19:36,781
'Cause I don't wanna
be one of the living dead.
1270
01:19:36,783 --> 01:19:39,254
I wanna be one
of the dead, dead.
1271
01:19:42,123 --> 01:19:45,924
NARRATOR: And he'd eventually
learn the most basic of lessons
1272
01:19:45,926 --> 01:19:49,161
for surviving a
zombie apocalypse.
1273
01:19:49,163 --> 01:19:54,165
When you find a good weapon,
you bloody well hold on to it!
1274
01:19:54,167 --> 01:19:57,170
[HIGH TEMPO DRUMS]
1275
01:20:00,742 --> 01:20:04,774
1276
01:20:04,776 --> 01:20:07,076
♪ YOU'VE BEEN SAYING
1277
01:20:07,078 --> 01:20:11,447
♪ THERE'S NO WORST THING THEN
SISTERS CRYING IN THEIR SLEEP ♪
1278
01:20:11,449 --> 01:20:14,986
♪ DYING ON THEIR
FEET TO TAKE YOU HOME ♪
1279
01:20:19,390 --> 01:20:23,325
♪ DAD IS THINKING
THAT I'VE BEEN DRINKING ♪
1280
01:20:23,327 --> 01:20:25,928
♪ MY WAY BACK TO YOU
1281
01:20:25,930 --> 01:20:29,934
♪ MY WAY BACK TO
YOU ONE MORE TIME ♪
1282
01:20:33,904 --> 01:20:38,039
♪ I HEAR YOUR
LAUGHTER BUT ALL I'M AFTER ♪
1283
01:20:38,041 --> 01:20:40,408
♪ IS THE TEAR IN YOUR EYE
1284
01:20:40,410 --> 01:20:44,414
♪ IT'S MY WINGS I CAN
FLY THAT'S IN THEIR WORLD ♪
1285
01:20:48,917 --> 01:20:52,918
♪ DAYLIGHT'S FADING
BUT I'M STILL WAITING ♪
1286
01:20:52,920 --> 01:20:57,290
♪ YOUR HAND ON MY HEART. TEARING
LONG AND APART ♪
1287
01:20:57,292 --> 01:20:59,261
♪ LIKE YOU DO
1288
01:21:03,532 --> 01:21:08,534
♪ HEEEY-EEY,
I PICK UP THE PIECES BABY ♪
1289
01:21:08,536 --> 01:21:13,371
♪ DRY YOUR EYES
AND TAKE YOU HOME ♪
1290
01:21:13,373 --> 01:21:16,007
♪ LOCKED OUT
1291
01:21:16,009 --> 01:21:20,347
♪ NOTHING
MOVES AROUND HERE ♪
1292
01:21:22,082 --> 01:21:24,083
♪ WITHOUT YOU
1293
01:21:37,963 --> 01:21:40,363
♪ I KNOW YOU STOLEN
1294
01:21:40,365 --> 01:21:44,433
♪ THE SHADOWS FALL
BEHIND THAT OLD FAMILIAR PAIN ♪
1295
01:21:44,435 --> 01:21:48,039
♪ OF ME STRANDED
AGAIN IN YOUR HEART ♪
1296
01:21:52,410 --> 01:21:56,478
♪ THE BOAT IS SINKING
AND I'M STILL DRINKING ♪
1297
01:21:56,480 --> 01:21:59,180
♪ MY WAY BACK TO YOU
1298
01:21:59,182 --> 01:22:03,052
♪ MY WAY BACK TO
YOU ONE LAST TIME ♪
1299
01:22:07,491 --> 01:22:12,493
♪ HEEYEYY! I PICK
UP THE PIECES BABY ♪
1300
01:22:12,495 --> 01:22:17,163
♪ DRY YOUR EYES AND
TAKE YOU HOME ♪
1301
01:22:17,165 --> 01:22:19,533
♪ LOCKED OUT
1302
01:22:19,535 --> 01:22:23,905
♪ NOTHING
MOVES AROUND HERE ♪
1303
01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:27,975
♪ WITHOUT YOU
1304
01:22:41,188 --> 01:22:44,190
[GUITAR SOLO]
1305
01:23:00,938 --> 01:23:04,942
[SOMBER ORCHESTRATION]
1306
01:23:25,195 --> 01:23:29,199
[ORCHESTRA CONTINUES]
1307
01:23:48,950 --> 01:23:52,954
[INTENSE DRUMS]
1308
01:24:06,400 --> 01:24:10,404
[TEMPO SPEEDS UP]
1309
01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:32,323
[INENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP]
1310
01:24:52,575 --> 01:24:56,579
[RAPID VIOLIN]
1311
01:25:10,225 --> 01:25:14,229
[ORCHESTRA FADING OUT]
1312
01:25:20,268 --> 01:25:24,271
[INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP]
1313
01:25:39,284 --> 01:25:42,820
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
1314
01:25:42,822 --> 01:25:45,023
[DRONING SOUND]
94873
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