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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:04,779 [MELLOW ACOUSTIC GUITAR] 2 00:00:04,780 --> 00:00:08,579 - ♪♪ - _ 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,919 ♪ I feel it in my fingers ♪ 4 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,049 ♪ I feel it in my toes ♪ 5 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:21,059 ♪♪ 6 00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:23,859 ♪ Love is all around me ♪ 7 00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:27,199 - ♪ And so the feeling grows ♪ - _ 8 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:31,199 [PHONE DINGS] 9 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,079 ♪ It's written on the wind ♪ 10 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,459 - ♪ It's everywhere I go ♪ - _ 11 00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:37,469 - [MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY] - _ 12 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,849 - Fuck. - _ 13 00:00:39,850 --> 00:00:42,099 Fuck! 14 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:45,109 [FUNKY MUSIC] 15 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:46,819 ♪♪ 16 00:00:46,820 --> 00:00:48,819 Oh, for fuck's sake. 17 00:00:48,820 --> 00:00:51,659 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 18 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,669 Fuck! Fuck, fuck! 19 00:00:54,670 --> 00:00:56,959 [GROANS] Fuck, fuck. 20 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,009 ♪♪ 21 00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:02,679 [SIGHS] 22 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,189 Fuck. 23 00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:08,069 [SIGHS] 24 00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:09,449 ♪♪ 25 00:01:09,450 --> 00:01:11,739 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 26 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:14,669 ♪♪ 27 00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:17,340 [SIGHS] Fuck. 28 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,809 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 29 00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:28,479 - ♪♪ - _ 30 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,489 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 31 00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:33,499 ♪♪ 32 00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:38,499 _ 33 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:39,879 [GASPS] Fuck. 34 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,259 - [ALL GASP] - Sir! 35 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,179 Mr. Duffy! 36 00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:44,849 Sorry, boys. 37 00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:47,359 I finally got my letter from Penguin Publishing. 38 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,189 [ALL GASP] 39 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:51,489 - Yes, Bernard. - Did they accept your novel? 40 00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:55,079 My fingers still hurt from all the submissions you made us mail out. 41 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,839 Yeah, um, I don't know. 42 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,339 I'm... I'm too nervous to open it, 43 00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:01,509 so would you, please, Bernard? 44 00:02:01,510 --> 00:02:03,759 [SIGHS] Okay. 45 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,700 You can go... you can go faster. 46 00:02:08,190 --> 00:02:10,319 "Thank you for giving us the opportunity 47 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,279 to consider the enclosed material." 48 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,579 Okay, so far so good. 49 00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:18,630 "Although it shows great promise... 50 00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:24,509 We regret that we are unable to publish it at this time." 51 00:02:24,510 --> 00:02:27,389 [PAPER CRINKLING] 52 00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:28,979 It's okay, Mr. Duffy. 53 00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:31,529 [ALL CHATTERING] 54 00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:33,619 Sorry, Mr. Duffy. 55 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,699 It said "great promise". 56 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,709 That's what they say when something's bad, Bernard. 57 00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:41,129 That's what you said in my report on The Aeneid. 58 00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:43,009 I'm sorry, Augie. 59 00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:46,010 - It sucked. - [SIGHS] 60 00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:50,229 ♪♪ 61 00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:52,649 Oh, fuck. 62 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,119 It's your housewarming present, Craig. 63 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,829 I love it, there's just... just so much of my butt. 64 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:02,169 - And my butt cheeks. - You hate it. 65 00:03:02,170 --> 00:03:04,429 No, no, no! I love it! 66 00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:07,099 It's just a little risqué, you know? 67 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,979 If my grandma comes or one of my friends. 68 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,809 Ah, well, of course your friends would hate it. 69 00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:13,069 - They hate everything I do. - What are you talking about? 70 00:03:13,070 --> 00:03:14,859 - My friends love you. - No, they don't. 71 00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:16,579 They think I'm trashy and that my boobs are fake... 72 00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:18,499 which they are, but your friends don't know that. 73 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,959 Who cares what anyone else thinks, okay? 74 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,299 You're my girl... 75 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,139 and I want you to move in with me. 76 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:29,479 - Wait, are you serious? - CRAIG: Yeah. 77 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,149 Look, I've dated a lot of women. 78 00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:33,233 A lot. 79 00:03:33,234 --> 00:03:34,949 Six different girls asked me to prom, 80 00:03:34,950 --> 00:03:36,949 one of them my Spanish teacher. 81 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,239 This is gonna circle back to something romantic 82 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,209 about me, right? 83 00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:42,709 I love you. 84 00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:46,589 And I've never said that to anybody. 85 00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:50,099 Well, my mom, and one time to LeBron James 86 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,309 when I saw him at the grocery store. 87 00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:56,279 Craig, I love you, too. 88 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,749 - [LAUGHS] - [GIGGLING] 89 00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:02,419 [GRUNTS] Um... 90 00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:03,960 who took this photo? 91 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,929 Fuck, I can't believe I'm 30. 92 00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:10,679 Well, that's not old. 93 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,059 At 30, Meghan Markle was still in her first marriage. 94 00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:15,439 Now, are you sure this has to be a costume party? 95 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,529 AINSLEY: Yes, everybody has to dress up 96 00:04:17,530 --> 00:04:20,159 as their favorite rom-com character. 97 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,169 It's just, the English don't really do theme parties. 98 00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:25,129 Unless the theme is "simmering class conflict", 99 00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,469 in which case that's every party. 100 00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:29,929 Oh, I gotta take this. Hey, bitch. 101 00:04:29,930 --> 00:04:31,889 You ready for the best weekend of your life? 102 00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:33,859 MAYA: Oh, my God, yes. 103 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,269 I'm on the red-eye tonight. 104 00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:36,649 I can't get out of New York fast enough. 105 00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:38,159 AINSLEY: Rough morning? 106 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,869 Yeah, I have aquarium gravel in my bra. 107 00:04:40,870 --> 00:04:42,919 I think I'll just leave it at that. 108 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,459 Oh, hmm. 109 00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:45,669 Let me guess: does it have something to do 110 00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,049 with your married boyfriend? 111 00:04:47,050 --> 00:04:48,889 Hey, you know, you're very judgmental 112 00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:50,219 for a woman who dated the guy 113 00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,809 who organized the Fyre Festival. 114 00:04:51,810 --> 00:04:52,889 AINSLEY: He said he knew Ja Rule! 115 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,649 [LAUGHTER] 116 00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:57,109 Anyway, I can't wait for you to meet my new guy, Maya. 117 00:04:57,110 --> 00:05:00,409 He is a good one. He's smart, he's funny. 118 00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:03,579 - He's not gay, for once. - Ooh, I bet I'll love him. 119 00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:05,379 Hey, I hope your morning gets better. 120 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,259 Well, it couldn't get any worse. 121 00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:09,089 Maya, you're late. Ted's looking for you. 122 00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:10,139 I gotta go. 123 00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:12,099 [PHONE BEEPS] 124 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:13,889 That was abrupt. 125 00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:16,149 - Is your shirt wet? - No, it's dry. 126 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,779 It's normal. 127 00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:19,739 So how did Ted do at the Bodo Latino breakfast? 128 00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:21,319 Great. They loved his speech. 129 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,829 Well, I guess it was your speech. 130 00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:24,709 Did he try to sing Despacito? 131 00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:27,089 Yes, but I cut off his mic before he got to the rap part. 132 00:05:27,090 --> 00:05:30,179 - That's my girl. - Maya, you're late. 133 00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:31,889 So if it's not too much of an inconvenience 134 00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:34,179 I need to see you in my office. 135 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:37,019 [MELLOW ACOUSTIC GUITAR] 136 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,609 You're 45 minutes late. 137 00:05:39,610 --> 00:05:40,949 I'm so sorry. 138 00:05:40,950 --> 00:05:42,069 I know I should have woken you up 139 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,539 but you were snoring so cute. 140 00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:47,339 No, no, this morning was not cool. 141 00:05:47,340 --> 00:05:49,589 All those texts? "Get out, she's coming." 142 00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:51,219 I felt like I was in a horror movie. 143 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,009 And the black people always get murdered first. 144 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:54,979 I know, I know, and I'm sorry. 145 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,979 Liz never goes to our apartment in the city 146 00:05:56,980 --> 00:06:00,263 but there's a crow trapped in our chimney in Scarsdale. 147 00:06:00,264 --> 00:06:01,717 Okay, huge day ahead. 148 00:06:01,718 --> 00:06:04,539 I tried to sing Despacito earlier, which did not go well. 149 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:07,119 - Ted, we need to talk. - Okay, shoot. 150 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,459 I'm not doing this anymore. 151 00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:11,879 Your poor wife. 152 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,719 Hey, come on. We've been through this. 153 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,389 My marriage is over. 154 00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:16,559 I've been sleeping in the basement 155 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,189 on the pool table for a year. 156 00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:20,359 Yeah, okay, but I still get Christmas cards 157 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,659 of you and your family in matching sweaters. 158 00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:24,789 Yeah, those are bad. 159 00:06:24,790 --> 00:06:27,579 I love you, but I'm done. 160 00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:28,999 Wait, wait, come on. 161 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,669 Hey. 162 00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:32,629 I'm done, too. 163 00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:34,299 That's why I'm gonna tell her tonight. 164 00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:35,639 No, you're not. 165 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,389 We're already enough of a cliché 166 00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:39,229 without you pretending you're going to leave your wife. 167 00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:40,819 No, no. Listen, listen. 168 00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,529 I... I didn't want to say anything yet, 169 00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:45,369 but I've already hired a lawyer. 170 00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:49,079 My kids are away at video game camp this weekend. 171 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,799 All I gotta do is tell her. 172 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,089 Okay? 173 00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:55,720 I wanna be with you, Maya. 174 00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:00,309 ♪♪ 175 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:03,029 Well, I want to be with a senator, 176 00:07:03,030 --> 00:07:05,489 so stop kissing your communications director 177 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:07,699 and get back to work. 178 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:10,919 ♪♪ 179 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,719 [DOOR OPENS] 180 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,139 [DOOR CLOSES] 181 00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:20,609 ♪ You've got a sweet little place in my heart ♪ 182 00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:25,409 ♪ Like a sweet little rain takes care of the flowers ♪ 183 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:27,119 ♪ And that's love ♪ 184 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,580 ♪ Your kind of love, your kind of love ♪ 185 00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:34,259 [ALERT CHIMES] 186 00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:35,839 FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Ladies and gentlemen, 187 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,299 the captain has just illuminated 188 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,889 the "fasten seatbelts" sign, 189 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:40,479 as we are now in our final approach 190 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,189 to London Heathrow. 191 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:44,359 Please be sure to stow your tray tables... 192 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,739 You're not supposed to turn that on until we've landed. 193 00:07:46,740 --> 00:07:49,909 I'm waiting for an important text from my boyfriend. 194 00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:51,709 Oh, your boyfriend. 195 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:55,509 Then by all means, crash the plane. 196 00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:57,969 [PHONE CLICKS] 197 00:07:57,970 --> 00:07:59,989 ♪♪ 198 00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:07,989 - [ENGINE ROARING] - _ 199 00:08:07,990 --> 00:08:10,249 ♪♪ 200 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:12,329 HAROON: You know, you didn't have to come all the way 201 00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:15,259 down to Heathrow just to have breakfast with me. 202 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:17,799 I didn't come for you. I came for your blood sugar. 203 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,349 If I'm not here you'll just have coffee 204 00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:20,413 and a chocolate bar. 205 00:08:20,414 --> 00:08:23,309 Dr. Oz says dark chocolate has antioxidants, 206 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:25,859 so the joke is on you. [LAUGHS] 207 00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:29,873 - You know, I saw Salman at masjid yesterday. - Mm-hmm? 208 00:08:29,874 --> 00:08:32,159 I made sure to tell him how well you are doing. 209 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,169 I showed him one of your paystubs. 210 00:08:34,170 --> 00:08:35,839 Dad, don't do that. That's embarrassing. 211 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,719 I pray for Salman. 212 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,639 Imagine the tragedy of having a son 213 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,219 who is a comic book artist. 214 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,599 I think it's cool he's following his dream. 215 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,029 Thank Allah your dream was investment banking. 216 00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:50,029 Your mother would be so proud. 217 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,039 [PHONE BUZZING] 218 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,959 Oh, no. We have got a situation at the luggage counter. 219 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,379 - Shrieking American? - Always. 220 00:08:58,380 --> 00:09:00,219 It's always that. 221 00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:02,219 [LIGHTHEARTED MUSIC] 222 00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:04,689 I'm so sorry, ma'am. Tell me what happened. 223 00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:06,779 Okay, I have explained three times... 224 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,239 - I'll handle this. - Hi. Please, I need my bag. 225 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,239 I took the wrong one off the carousel. 226 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,999 Calm down. Calm down, ma'am. Are you sure? 227 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,089 Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is not 228 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:18,589 my triple-XL Orlando t-shirt. 229 00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:21,429 Listen, I work in politics, and that bag has 230 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,639 some highly classified material in it. 231 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,649 [SNORTS] 232 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:28,739 - I'm sorry, can I help you? - No, nothing. 233 00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:30,159 "Highly classified". 234 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,199 Didn't realize Jack Ryan flew commercial. 235 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,909 Oh, great, yeah. Pithy comments. 236 00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:35,629 That's exactly what the situation needed. 237 00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:37,213 Look, don't worry, ma'am. 238 00:09:37,214 --> 00:09:40,259 We'll file a missing bag report and call you within 48 hours. 239 00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:42,259 I'm gonna be back in New York in 48 hours! 240 00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:44,059 I can't buy all new clothes! 241 00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:45,729 I don't understand British sizes! 242 00:09:45,730 --> 00:09:47,819 Okay, okay. 243 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:51,529 Uh, there is an unclaimed baggage center offsite. 244 00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:53,869 Uh, I can't take you there right now, 245 00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:56,919 but maybe my son can. 246 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:57,973 What? 247 00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:00,753 Dad, I can't hang out at the airport all day! I've gotta go to work. 248 00:10:00,754 --> 00:10:06,554 _ 249 00:10:07,079 --> 00:10:08,603 _ 250 00:10:08,604 --> 00:10:10,153 Please? 251 00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,869 I feel like I misjudged you. 252 00:10:12,870 --> 00:10:15,129 ♪♪ 253 00:10:19,130 --> 00:10:21,879 - Only for Haroon. - Thanks, man. 254 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,099 Right, what does your suitcase look like? 255 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,479 Medium sized, black. 256 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,649 Ah. 257 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:31,029 ♪♪ 258 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:34,119 [SIGHS] It has wheels? 259 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,499 ♪♪ 260 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,589 So, what's your high-profile job in New York? 261 00:10:43,590 --> 00:10:46,679 I work for a congressman running for senate. 262 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,439 Ted Spencer: A new day for New York. 263 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,319 What? That's a terrible slogan. 264 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,399 - Who came up with that? - I did. 265 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,909 It's a great slogan. 266 00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,749 We tested it with multiple demographics... 267 00:10:56,750 --> 00:11:00,339 including male Indian voters... and everybody loved it. 268 00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:03,509 Look, I'm not Indian. I'm Pakistani. 269 00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:06,219 Oh, gosh, I am so sorry. [SIGHS] 270 00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:07,729 You know, that's like when people ask me, 271 00:11:07,730 --> 00:11:08,823 "Where are you from?" 272 00:11:08,824 --> 00:11:11,229 But what they really mean is, "You look kind of black. 273 00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:12,569 - Explain." - [LAUGHS] 274 00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:14,069 So what do you do? 275 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:17,119 I'm a... 276 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,749 I'm an actor. 277 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:21,459 Ooh, cool. Are you in anything I know? 278 00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:24,469 Uh, probably not. I mostly do theater. 279 00:11:24,470 --> 00:11:27,309 Shakespeare. But modern stuff, too. 280 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:29,309 Caryl Churchill, Debbie Tucker Green. 281 00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:31,059 Ooh, have you ever been in Mamma Mia!? 282 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:34,819 - Ugh, I loved that show. - No, not Mamma Mia! 283 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,489 Definitely not Mamma Mia! 284 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,329 Have you even seen it? 285 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,633 No. 286 00:11:39,634 --> 00:11:42,879 MERYL STREEP: ♪ Mamma mia, here I go again ♪ 287 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,219 ♪ My, my, how can I resist you? ♪ 288 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,059 ♪ Mamma mia ♪ 289 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:50,519 So what do you think? 290 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,149 What's the opposite of goosebumps? 291 00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:53,979 - I think I've got that. - Oh, come on! 292 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,449 Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Meryl Streep. 293 00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,619 How does one film waste so much talent? 294 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:01,579 Excuse you, this is Meryl Streep's greatest role. 295 00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:04,549 Oh, really? So not Sophie's Choice or Kramer vs. Kramer? 296 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,379 Sing one song from either of those movies. 297 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,139 You can't. 298 00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:10,059 You got me there. 299 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:12,559 [LAUGHS] 300 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,779 Maybe I only like it 'cause my mom and I saw it 301 00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:17,029 on Broadway a couple of months before she died. 302 00:12:17,030 --> 00:12:19,829 [MELLOW MUSIC] 303 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,919 Now do you think it's good? 304 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,169 [LAUGHS] 305 00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,839 I'm sorry. 306 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,679 I lost my mom too. 307 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,429 How old were you? 308 00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:32,939 I was 12. 309 00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:34,819 20. 310 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,199 It's more recent. Sadder. 311 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,449 BOTH: [LAUGH] 312 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:42,539 - [PHONE DINGING] - _ 313 00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:43,959 ♪♪ 314 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,969 Oh, sorry. Uh, they're private. 315 00:12:46,970 --> 00:12:49,969 ♪♪ 316 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,059 [SIGHS] 317 00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:54,149 ♪♪ 318 00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:56,819 You all right? 319 00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:58,239 Have you ever had the feeling 320 00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,989 you've gone down the wrong path? 321 00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:03,789 Like, somewhere along the line you've made a bad choice 322 00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:06,129 and now it's too late to go back? 323 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:07,839 [SIGHS] 324 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,429 I feel like that literally every day. 325 00:13:10,430 --> 00:13:12,769 ♪♪ 326 00:13:12,770 --> 00:13:14,899 [SIGHS] 327 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:17,689 I'm not really an actor. 328 00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:20,119 What? [LAUGHS] 329 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,079 But you are Pakistani, though, right? 330 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,129 Yes, very. 331 00:13:25,130 --> 00:13:27,589 I'm an investment banker. 332 00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,719 Why would you lie about that? 333 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,729 Well, I hate my job, and... 334 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,649 I've always wanted to act. 335 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:38,359 Still do, but... 336 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,199 I guess I kept making decisions in my life 337 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,159 to please other people and, like you said, 338 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,289 now it seems too late. 339 00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:47,889 ♪♪ 340 00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:53,639 Oh, my God, this is my suitcase! 341 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,179 I've been sitting on it! [LAUGHS] 342 00:13:55,180 --> 00:13:58,609 - What? - I've been sitting on it! 343 00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:01,989 [INDISTINCT P. A. ANNOUNCEMENT] 344 00:14:01,990 --> 00:14:03,789 Well, I'm off. 345 00:14:03,790 --> 00:14:06,289 Uh, maybe one day I'll be watching a play 346 00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,289 in the West End and you'll walk out onstage 347 00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:10,049 and I'll be like, "Hey, it's suitcase guy." 348 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,549 - BOTH: [LAUGH] - I hope you're right. 349 00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:14,309 ♪♪ 350 00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:16,769 Next time, put a pink ribbon on it. 351 00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:18,729 So you know it's yours. 352 00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:20,649 Okay. 353 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,489 Well... 354 00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:24,279 bye. 355 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,300 ♪♪ 356 00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:57,429 [UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC] 357 00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:01,189 ♪♪ 358 00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:04,409 ♪ I like me better when I'm with you ♪ 359 00:15:04,410 --> 00:15:05,989 [DOOR CLICKS] 360 00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:08,799 ♪♪ 361 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,389 Damn, Ainsley. [LAUGHS] 362 00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:18,639 ♪♪ 363 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,479 [GRUNTS] 364 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,449 [DOORBELL RINGS] 365 00:15:24,450 --> 00:15:26,239 - Hi. - Oh. 366 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,619 You must be Maya. I've been dying to meet you. 367 00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:31,289 My name's Gemma. I'm Ainsley's best friend. 368 00:15:31,290 --> 00:15:32,359 Come on in. 369 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:35,770 Ainsley just nipped out 370 00:15:35,771 --> 00:15:37,599 to get some last-minute bits for her birthday party. 371 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,059 - Make yourself at home. - Oh. 372 00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:42,569 - Oh, here, let me take those. - It's for Ainsley. 373 00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:45,319 Twinkies are her favorite and they don't have them here, so... 374 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,659 Oh, she's off sugar. She won't eat these. 375 00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:49,999 Please, in college she'd pound like ten of these 376 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,709 without even chewing. [LAUGHS] 377 00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:54,209 Oh, were you at college with Ainsley, too? 378 00:15:54,210 --> 00:15:55,929 I always thought of Ainsley, Duffy, and Craig 379 00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:57,219 as more of a trio. 380 00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,769 No, there were always four of us. 381 00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:02,399 Forgive me, I just assumed. 382 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,359 You know, because they all moved to London 383 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,319 and left you behind. 384 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,369 Well, we all did a semester here 385 00:16:08,370 --> 00:16:11,027 and wanted to move back to London after graduation, 386 00:16:11,028 --> 00:16:14,249 but I got a great job in New York and decided to stay. 387 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,969 Good for you. 388 00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:19,679 I love my child too much to work. 389 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:20,920 Hmm. 390 00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:28,579 And, uh, how... how do you and Ainsley know each other? 391 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:30,579 - Oh, I live across the street. - Oh. 392 00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,709 But our friendship transcends being mere neighbors. 393 00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:36,339 Ainsley saw me through a very... 394 00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:37,719 dark time. 395 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,469 Oh. 396 00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:42,309 We were renovating our country home 397 00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:46,029 and the bathroom tile I had selected was discontinued. 398 00:16:46,030 --> 00:16:47,949 She's an amazing person. 399 00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:50,909 - Yeah, I agree. - Me, too. 400 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:53,829 Well, you can't agree if you said it. 401 00:16:53,830 --> 00:16:57,469 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 402 00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:59,429 [SCREAMING] 403 00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:01,559 Maya, you're here! 404 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,479 Ooh, gosh! 405 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,899 Oh, I'm so excited! 406 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,529 Oh, shit. 407 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,829 I'm not really eating sugar right now. 408 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,369 That's okay. 409 00:17:13,370 --> 00:17:15,999 Mm. 410 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,679 Mm. 411 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,179 Phew. 412 00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:21,719 What do you think of my costume? 413 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,599 CRAIG: Are you a homeless man? 414 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,149 - If so, you nailed it! - What? No. 415 00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:29,279 Dude, I'm Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything... 416 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,069 How do you not know that? 417 00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,829 CRAIG: I didn't spend all of high school watching movies. 418 00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:34,829 I played sports and hooked up with girls. 419 00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:36,419 That feels pointed. 420 00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,839 Look, Craig... 421 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,889 I called you for a pep talk, man. 422 00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:44,429 I'm gonna tell Maya tonight. 423 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:47,109 You sure? 'Cause she's still with Ted. 424 00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:48,899 DUFFY: Yeah, and Ted's still with his wife. 425 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:51,819 Look, how often does Maya come to London? 426 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,409 I feel like it's now or never. 427 00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:56,749 Okay, dude. You got this. 428 00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:59,209 You got this. You've liked her for ten years. 429 00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:01,179 She'd be lucky to be with you. 430 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,059 You're not some nerd in a dorm anymore. 431 00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:05,849 Well, actually, I still do live in a dorm, 432 00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:07,439 but thank you. 433 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,069 - That's true. - ZARA: Craig? 434 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:12,239 I gotta go. You got this, my Duff. 435 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,449 All right, appreciate it, brother. 436 00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:14,913 ZARA: Craig? 437 00:18:14,914 --> 00:18:17,579 Why are you not dressed yet? The party's about to start. 438 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,379 You look great. 439 00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:21,629 Are you like a bar wench? 440 00:18:21,630 --> 00:18:23,969 I'm Ella Enchanted, Craig. 441 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:27,649 Ella Enchanted. How do you not know that? 442 00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:30,279 Oh, damn it. 443 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,159 I was just kidding, Zara! I knew what you were! 444 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,659 - [PHONE DINGS] - _ 445 00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:36,499 [SIGHS] 446 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,499 - [CURIOUS MUSIC] - _ 447 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:46,520 - ♪♪ - _ 448 00:18:48,230 --> 00:18:50,069 ZARA: Craig! 449 00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:52,239 Put your costume on! 450 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,989 Or don't, and we'll just say you're Will Smith in Hitch. 451 00:18:54,990 --> 00:18:56,659 [HALL & OATES' YOU MAKE MY DREAMS] 452 00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:58,879 [RETREATING FOOTSTEPS] 453 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,879 ♪♪ 454 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,889 HALL: ♪ What I want, you've got ♪ 455 00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:07,429 ♪ But it might be hard to handle ♪ 456 00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:10,819 ♪ But like the flame that burns the candle ♪ 457 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:14,529 ♪ The candle feeds the flame, yeah, yeah ♪ 458 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:17,999 ♪ What I got... full stock of thoughts and dreams ♪ 459 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,709 That's Maya. 460 00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:22,129 - Pretty. - Horrible. 461 00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:24,759 Quite. 462 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,769 HALL: ♪ Oh, yeah, where were you? ♪ 463 00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:30,229 Duffy! Hi! 464 00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:32,399 I'm so happy to see you. [GROANS] 465 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,069 Me, too. You look so great. 466 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,949 No one gets my costume. 467 00:19:36,950 --> 00:19:39,249 Monica from Love & Basketball. 468 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:40,879 Yeah, we watched it spring freshman year. 469 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,709 - Remember? - Yeah, how could I forget? 470 00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:45,759 We killed that box of wine and then I had sex with Kyle. 471 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,889 Kyle, my roommate. 472 00:19:47,890 --> 00:19:49,809 Right. 473 00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:51,809 Hey, do you want to go somewhere and talk? 474 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,029 Yeah, sure. 475 00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:54,279 Um, let me get us some drinks 476 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,609 and I'll meet you in the garden. 477 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:56,949 Yes. No, yes, perfect. 478 00:19:56,950 --> 00:19:59,659 Okay, uh, see you soon. 479 00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:01,249 - Hey. - Hey. 480 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,589 I'll have two of those. 481 00:20:04,590 --> 00:20:07,089 Oh, sorry. 482 00:20:07,090 --> 00:20:08,849 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 483 00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:10,899 ♪♪ 484 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,949 Hi. 485 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,239 Suitcase guy? Hi! 486 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,659 I can't believe you're here. 487 00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:22,539 I was about to say the same thing. 488 00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:24,879 When I left the airport I was thinking, "Wow, 489 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,748 "this guy helped me find my stupid suitcase 490 00:20:26,749 --> 00:20:28,849 and I didn't even thank him, and now I'm never gonna see him again." 491 00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:31,389 - But here you are. - Yep. 492 00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:34,609 So thank you. My name's Maya. 493 00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:37,149 - "Maya"? - AINSLEY: Oh, my God! 494 00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:39,199 I was looking for you two! 495 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,999 Kash, this is my best friend, Maya. 496 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,169 Maya, this is my boyfriend, Kash. 497 00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:46,009 [LAUGHS] 498 00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:47,680 [SOFT EXCLAMATION] 499 00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:55,319 [STAMMERING] Wait... wait, this is Kash? 500 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,149 - Your boyfriend Kash? - Yes. 501 00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:59,699 - Why are you so surprised? - No, I'm not. 502 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,409 It's just, when you hear "Kash" 503 00:21:01,410 --> 00:21:03,369 you think of, like, a bad LA rapper. 504 00:21:03,370 --> 00:21:05,709 Not, like, a nice ethnic Kash with a "K". 505 00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:07,799 - [LAUGHS] - Ooh, Maya. 506 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,639 Kash's father works at the airport. 507 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,439 Maybe he could help you find that cute guy you met there. 508 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,019 Uh, I don't remember mentioning anything about that. 509 00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:17,939 Are you insane? You were gushing. 510 00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:20,199 She called him "Ryan Gosling dipped in caramel." 511 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,619 - MAYA: What? No. - AINSLEY: Yeah, you did. 512 00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:24,459 You also said, "Super hot. Bangable." 513 00:21:24,460 --> 00:21:26,339 I did not say that. 514 00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:28,469 Uh, that's... that's very nice. 515 00:21:28,470 --> 00:21:31,099 Big M! 516 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:33,389 MAYA: Craig. I so hate that nickname. 517 00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:35,729 [GRUNTS] Have you met Kash? 518 00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:37,495 - BOTH: We just met. - AINSLEY: Craig set us up. 519 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:38,739 They work at Goldman together. 520 00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:41,739 Kash was recently promoted to vice president 521 00:21:41,740 --> 00:21:44,209 of middle market leveraged buyout lending. 522 00:21:44,210 --> 00:21:47,999 I have no idea what that means, but I love how fancy it sounds. 523 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,799 [LAUGHTER] 524 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,799 So is Zara here? I'd love to meet her. 525 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,229 Yes, will you go over and talk to her? 526 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,689 She's gonna make me leave before I even get buzzed, 527 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,689 'cause she thinks my friends don't like her. 528 00:21:58,690 --> 00:22:00,239 It is not that. 529 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,159 We just don't want to get attached to another girl 530 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,329 you end up dumping after a couple months. 531 00:22:05,330 --> 00:22:07,879 Not this one. We're moving in together. 532 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,169 - MAYA: [GASPS] - What? 533 00:22:09,170 --> 00:22:11,339 Mate, congrats! That's awesome. 534 00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:13,759 Maybe in a decade or two, I'll be ready to get married. 535 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,769 - Well... - [STAMMERS] 536 00:22:15,770 --> 00:22:17,189 All right, come on. This calls for a celebration. Let's go. 537 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:18,333 - CRAIG: Toasts? - KASH: Yes. 538 00:22:18,334 --> 00:22:20,109 - CRAIG: Can you believe? - KASH: Champagne. 539 00:22:20,110 --> 00:22:22,029 Isn't Kash great? 540 00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:24,749 He is. 541 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:27,329 Maya, you are the perfect woman for me. 542 00:22:27,330 --> 00:22:29,799 You're beautiful. You're smart. 543 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,219 We're both allergic to the same tree nuts. 544 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:33,929 And I've been in love with you for a long time. 545 00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:35,559 I keep having these dreams... 546 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,229 - [DOOR OPENS] - [BUTTON CLICKS] 547 00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:39,519 PETER GABRIEL: ♪ All my instincts ♪ 548 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,569 ♪ They return ♪ 549 00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:44,119 - Oh, hi. - What are you doing? 550 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:45,409 Uh, nothing. Sorry. 551 00:22:45,410 --> 00:22:46,959 Sorry about this. Sorry. 552 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,959 Stop, stop, stop! 553 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,549 [MUSIC STOPS] 554 00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:51,969 So what's up? 555 00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:53,429 GEMMA: Have you seen my husband, Quentin? 556 00:22:53,430 --> 00:22:54,969 Sometimes when he's been overserved, 557 00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:56,469 he falls asleep in shrubs. 558 00:22:56,470 --> 00:22:58,229 It reminds him of his childhood in Kenya. 559 00:22:58,230 --> 00:23:01,779 - Yeah, no, I haven't seen him. - [SIGHS] 560 00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:04,199 - Is Maya in there? - Yes. 561 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,659 She's reminiscing very loudly with all your friends. 562 00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:08,669 Oh, cool. 563 00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:11,169 Well, if you see her could... could you not tell her 564 00:23:11,170 --> 00:23:14,849 I'm out here, but maybe imply that I'm out here? 565 00:23:14,850 --> 00:23:16,639 Are you that man from Say Anything? 566 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,479 Yes, yes, you're the first person to get that. 567 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:20,979 I am. 568 00:23:20,980 --> 00:23:23,489 Are you trying to seduce someone like this? 569 00:23:23,490 --> 00:23:26,579 No, yeah... no I'm just chilling. 570 00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:28,909 Good, because that would be pitiful. 571 00:23:28,910 --> 00:23:30,789 Yeah, totally. I agree. 572 00:23:30,790 --> 00:23:33,469 Yeah. 573 00:23:33,470 --> 00:23:36,469 [UPBEAT '80S POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 574 00:23:36,470 --> 00:23:38,899 ♪♪ 575 00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:45,909 - [PHONE CHIRPING] - _ 576 00:23:45,910 --> 00:23:52,920 - ♪♪ - _ 577 00:23:54,412 --> 00:23:56,412 _ 578 00:23:57,665 --> 00:23:59,889 _ 579 00:23:59,890 --> 00:24:02,899 [REVELATORY MUSIC] 580 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:05,989 ♪♪ 581 00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:08,989 [UPBEAT POP MUSIC CONTINUES] 582 00:24:08,990 --> 00:24:13,709 - ♪♪ - _ 583 00:24:13,710 --> 00:24:16,719 [PHONE CHIRPING] 584 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,679 - Oh, hey. - Hi again. 585 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,189 Are you waiting for the loo? 586 00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:24,109 Me, too. 587 00:24:24,110 --> 00:24:25,859 ♪♪ 588 00:24:25,860 --> 00:24:27,819 [SIGHS] 589 00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:31,119 ♪♪ 590 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:32,224 I didn't actually say 591 00:24:32,225 --> 00:24:33,499 - you were caramel Ryan Gosling. - Oh, you don't have to... 592 00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:35,209 I mean, I said those words, 593 00:24:35,210 --> 00:24:37,429 but I was exaggerating for storytelling purposes. 594 00:24:37,430 --> 00:24:38,849 Of course. 595 00:24:38,850 --> 00:24:41,559 Compared to Ryan Gosling, I'm grotesque. 596 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,899 I actually said Brian Gosling. 597 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,689 Yeah, you wouldn't know him. 598 00:24:45,690 --> 00:24:48,029 He's an American celebrity known for his average looks. 599 00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:50,239 Oh, right, okay. 600 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:55,879 ♪♪ 601 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,049 That stuff about hating my job and wanting to give it all up 602 00:24:59,050 --> 00:25:01,639 to be an actor, do you mind not telling Ainsley? 603 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,899 Oh, I would never. Already forgotten. 604 00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:06,189 Thanks, I appreciate it. 605 00:25:06,190 --> 00:25:09,369 Sorry, sorry. Fell asleep on the loo. 606 00:25:09,370 --> 00:25:11,449 Not my fault. I was overserved. 607 00:25:11,450 --> 00:25:13,829 Wow. [LAUGHS] 608 00:25:13,830 --> 00:25:16,179 ♪♪ 609 00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:22,219 I'll come back. I'm just... 610 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:24,519 Oh, yeah, cool. Okay. 611 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,819 ♪♪ 612 00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:28,699 TED: Hey. 613 00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:30,529 Why are you calling me? I said I would call you. 614 00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:33,119 - Did you tell her? - TED: Hold on. 615 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,919 [TAP SQUEAKS, WATER RUNNING] 616 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,719 [SIGHS] Uh, Maya, I was going to, I swear. 617 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,099 Oh, my God. 618 00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:42,969 But you changed your mind. 619 00:25:42,970 --> 00:25:46,439 No, no, did you see the new Quinnipiac poll? 620 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,399 We're up by three points. 621 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,409 Holy shit. 622 00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:53,789 I bet it was that Politico video you did on fair housing. 623 00:25:53,790 --> 00:25:56,539 Yeah, the one that you made me do. 624 00:25:56,540 --> 00:25:59,879 - This is all you, Maya. - I can't believe it. 625 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,509 We could actually win. 626 00:26:01,510 --> 00:26:03,639 I don't love that my communications director 627 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,519 can't believe I could actually win, but yeah. 628 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,399 We're so close. That's why I... you know. 629 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,869 Can't tell her now. 630 00:26:11,870 --> 00:26:14,329 It could jeopardize the whole campaign. 631 00:26:14,330 --> 00:26:16,539 Right, but as soon as we win. 632 00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:19,089 I swear to God, okay? 633 00:26:19,090 --> 00:26:21,379 I love you. 634 00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,889 I know. 635 00:26:24,890 --> 00:26:28,479 - Look, I gotta go. - Okay, bye. 636 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,029 [PHONE BEEPS] 637 00:26:30,030 --> 00:26:34,029 ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 638 00:26:34,030 --> 00:26:38,919 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 639 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,679 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 640 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,299 Hey, were you waiting for me out front? 641 00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:45,599 Because I was out back. 642 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:50,109 ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 643 00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,909 It's amazing. [LAUGHS] 644 00:26:52,910 --> 00:26:55,029 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 645 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,539 Nice! 646 00:26:56,540 --> 00:26:58,249 [INAUDIBLE] 647 00:26:58,250 --> 00:27:00,709 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 648 00:27:00,710 --> 00:27:03,760 ♪♪ 649 00:27:06,470 --> 00:27:08,349 [MELLOW MUSIC] 650 00:27:08,350 --> 00:27:10,319 I'm never going to a costume party again. 651 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,439 One guy thought I was Scottie Pippen. 652 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,029 I thought it was fun! 653 00:27:14,030 --> 00:27:15,829 Although, nobody used the official hashtag. 654 00:27:15,830 --> 00:27:18,289 I mean, was hashtag "Ainsley's totally awesome 30th 655 00:27:18,290 --> 00:27:20,499 rom-com birthday bash" so hard to add to your photos? 656 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,129 DUFFY: Yeah, it was so fun. 657 00:27:22,130 --> 00:27:24,219 Except for the three hours I spent outside. 658 00:27:24,220 --> 00:27:26,719 [LAUGHS] Still waiting on that drink. 659 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,559 Oh, I know. I'm so sorry, Duffy. 660 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,529 You weren't really waiting outside for me 661 00:27:31,530 --> 00:27:33,239 for, like, three hours, were you? 662 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,646 Oh, no, no. 663 00:27:34,647 --> 00:27:36,842 Yeah, there was, like, tons of people out there and... 664 00:27:36,843 --> 00:27:38,354 yeah, people started saying, like, 665 00:27:38,355 --> 00:27:40,329 "Yeah, the real party is out here, so"... 666 00:27:40,330 --> 00:27:42,499 - Like, who said that? - Uh, yeah, I don't know. 667 00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:43,879 Just people, so... but the point is, 668 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,219 I was having a great time. 669 00:27:45,220 --> 00:27:47,009 I wasn't just out there on my own 670 00:27:47,010 --> 00:27:48,849 or waiting for Maya, so... Craig, can you help me out here? 671 00:27:48,850 --> 00:27:51,439 - Craig? - Get off of your phone. 672 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,689 Really? Facebook? Are you 60? 673 00:27:53,690 --> 00:27:56,699 Okay, sorry. Sorry, sorry. 674 00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:58,199 No more phone. 675 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,959 So, how long are you here for? 676 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,339 - Oh, she's staying forever. - Mm. 677 00:28:03,340 --> 00:28:05,679 Come on, can't you just stay for a little while? 678 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,599 - Like, just until I die? - I know, I'd love to. 679 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,849 But I have to get back tomorrow. 680 00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:11,099 Ted has a thing. 681 00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:12,519 [CLEARS THROAT] Yeah, a wife. 682 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,739 Oh, ha, ha, ha. Hilarious. 683 00:28:14,740 --> 00:28:16,699 I forgot how funny bankers are. 684 00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:17,763 Oh. 685 00:28:17,764 --> 00:28:19,297 Actually, Kash is really funny. 686 00:28:19,298 --> 00:28:21,669 - Sometimes he sends me memes. - CRAIG: What? 687 00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:22,999 No. No, he's not. 688 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,589 I'm the funny one in the office. 689 00:28:24,590 --> 00:28:27,139 Everyone's always like, "Do Denzel! 690 00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:28,719 Do Denzel!" And I'm like... 691 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,639 [DEEP LAUGH] I see you. 692 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,149 - My man. - AINSLEY: God. 693 00:28:32,150 --> 00:28:34,069 It genuinely upsets me when you do that. 694 00:28:34,070 --> 00:28:35,739 - It's not bad. - It's terrible. 695 00:28:35,740 --> 00:28:37,199 - It's great. - I do not like that. 696 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,909 Uh, speaking of Kash, what's the deal? 697 00:28:39,910 --> 00:28:43,459 - Is he serious? - Oh, who knows? 698 00:28:43,460 --> 00:28:46,049 I mean, the last thing I want to do is rush into anything. 699 00:28:46,050 --> 00:28:49,049 [SWEEPING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC] 700 00:28:49,050 --> 00:28:52,149 - ♪♪ - _ 701 00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:57,109 - They're ready for you. - _ 702 00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,069 ♪♪ 703 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:01,159 REPORTER: Ms. Jones! Ms. Jones! 704 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,789 Are the rumors true? 705 00:29:02,790 --> 00:29:04,669 Sadly, yes. 706 00:29:04,670 --> 00:29:07,089 As of this morning, Senator Spencer and his wife 707 00:29:07,090 --> 00:29:08,679 have officially separated. 708 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,759 They ask that you respect their privacy 709 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:11,979 during this trying time. 710 00:29:11,980 --> 00:29:14,940 [REPORTERS CLAMORING] 711 00:29:16,150 --> 00:29:17,239 REPORTER: Ms. Jones! 712 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:18,909 [NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 713 00:29:18,910 --> 00:29:21,199 [SIGHS] 714 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,709 - Oh, my God. - What's wrong? 715 00:29:22,710 --> 00:29:25,169 - [SIGHS] - Oh, no. 716 00:29:25,170 --> 00:29:26,919 You're not having second thoughts, are you? 717 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,009 'Cause now would be a really weird time to dump me. 718 00:29:29,010 --> 00:29:31,469 No, I just never thought it would happen. 719 00:29:31,470 --> 00:29:33,229 You actually did it, 720 00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:35,649 and now I get to take my handsome senator boyfriend 721 00:29:35,650 --> 00:29:37,899 to my best friend's wedding in London, 722 00:29:37,900 --> 00:29:40,029 the most beautiful city in the world. 723 00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:41,909 Hey, you're dating a New York senator. 724 00:29:41,910 --> 00:29:44,499 So if anyone asks, your favorite city is Utica. 725 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:48,299 [LAUGHS] I'm so stupidly happy. 726 00:29:48,300 --> 00:29:50,259 I just hope your friends like me. 727 00:29:50,260 --> 00:29:52,009 - They won't. - [LAUGHS] 728 00:29:52,010 --> 00:29:55,979 But we have the rest of our lives to work on that. 729 00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:58,989 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 730 00:29:58,990 --> 00:30:00,859 ♪♪ 731 00:30:00,860 --> 00:30:03,999 Okay, I'll send a car for 8:00. 732 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,669 - You got it, Senator. - Bye. 733 00:30:06,670 --> 00:30:09,209 Bye. 734 00:30:09,210 --> 00:30:13,639 ♪♪ 735 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,099 [LAUGHS] 736 00:30:16,100 --> 00:30:18,189 [SIGHS] 737 00:30:18,190 --> 00:30:21,779 [MELLOW MUSIC] 738 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:25,659 ♪♪ 739 00:30:25,660 --> 00:30:28,499 [PHONE BUZZING] 740 00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:30,169 LANIE: Oh, my God, are you watching this? 741 00:30:30,170 --> 00:30:31,969 Is this something about The Bachelor? 742 00:30:31,970 --> 00:30:33,599 I told you, black people don't watch that. 743 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,269 LANIE: No, it's Ted! Turn on the news! 744 00:30:35,270 --> 00:30:36,929 He was having an affair! 745 00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:41,009 REPORTER: Details coming in now on a breaking story. 746 00:30:41,010 --> 00:30:42,125 It was revealed today 747 00:30:42,126 --> 00:30:43,829 that newly-elected senator Ted Spencer 748 00:30:43,830 --> 00:30:46,329 has been involved in an extramarital affair. 749 00:30:46,330 --> 00:30:47,373 Oh, God. 750 00:30:47,374 --> 00:30:49,983 REPORTER: Sources report the woman at the center of the scandal 751 00:30:49,984 --> 00:30:51,727 is one of the senator's employees. 752 00:30:51,728 --> 00:30:54,429 Just moments ago her identity was confirmed. 753 00:30:54,430 --> 00:30:55,889 Oh, no. 754 00:30:55,890 --> 00:30:58,809 Kaylee Haskins, an NYU sophomore. 755 00:30:58,810 --> 00:31:00,729 Haskins worked for Spencer and his wife 756 00:31:00,730 --> 00:31:02,239 as a dog walker. 757 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,079 - KAYLEE: No comment! No comment! - _ 758 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,579 Have some respect! I'm at work! 759 00:31:07,580 --> 00:31:09,539 REPORTER: Kaylee, how long has it been going on? 760 00:31:09,540 --> 00:31:11,299 Fuck. 761 00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:13,049 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 762 00:31:13,050 --> 00:31:14,509 [DOGS BARKING] 763 00:31:14,510 --> 00:31:16,309 REPORTER: Kaylee, tell your story! 764 00:31:16,310 --> 00:31:17,640 - [SIGHS] - KAYLEE: Stop! 765 00:31:23,570 --> 00:31:26,579 ["HEART OF GLASS" PLAYING] 766 00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:28,590 ♪♪ 767 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,259 [PHONE DINGS] 768 00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:41,979 - ♪ Once I had a love and it was a gas ♪ - _ 769 00:31:41,980 --> 00:31:44,989 ♪ Soon turned out ♪ 770 00:31:44,990 --> 00:31:47,619 ♪ I had a heart of glass ♪ 771 00:31:49,620 --> 00:31:52,169 - [SIGHS] - ♪ Seemed like the real thing ♪ 772 00:31:52,170 --> 00:31:54,049 [PHONE CLATTERS] 773 00:31:54,050 --> 00:31:56,799 ♪ Only to find ♪ 774 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,099 - ♪ So much mistrust ♪ - _ 775 00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:02,269 ♪ Love's gone behind ♪ 776 00:32:02,270 --> 00:32:08,199 ♪♪ 777 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,209 [MELLOW MUSIC] 778 00:32:11,210 --> 00:32:13,220 ♪♪ 779 00:32:21,118 --> 00:32:22,718 _ 780 00:32:24,032 --> 00:32:30,532 _ 781 00:32:34,115 --> 00:32:39,139 _ 782 00:32:39,140 --> 00:32:42,859 [LAUGHS] 783 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:45,319 [LAUGHS] 784 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:51,354 - ♪♪ - _ 785 00:32:51,355 --> 00:32:55,879 _ 786 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,880 _ 787 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,479 [LAUGHING] 788 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,439 - Ooh! - BOTH: [LAUGHING] 789 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,869 She said yes! 790 00:33:08,870 --> 00:33:12,119 - AINSLEY: Yep! - MAYA: We're in love. 791 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:15,289 BOTH: [LAUGHING] 792 00:33:15,290 --> 00:33:18,759 ♪♪ 793 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,349 Hi, guys! 794 00:33:20,350 --> 00:33:23,559 Sorry, uh, after last week's flatiron mishap, 795 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,319 I've decided to stop doing hair tutorials 796 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:30,409 and focus instead on another passion: cooking. 797 00:33:30,410 --> 00:33:32,159 Ah, hey, babe. [SNIFFS] 798 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,959 What's that smell? Did you fart? 799 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:38,049 [GROANS] I was live, Craig! 800 00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:39,799 I'm doing a delicious cookery video 801 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,139 for my YouTube channel. 802 00:33:41,140 --> 00:33:43,229 Cooking? You just boiled eggs. 803 00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,189 I don't know how to do anything else. 804 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:47,439 Where are you going? The wedding's in a few hours. 805 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,449 Uh, me and Maya are just going for a quick run. 806 00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:51,159 She's really in the dumps about Ted. 807 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,829 - Poor girl. - Yeah. 808 00:33:52,830 --> 00:33:54,409 It's really tough being a mistress. 809 00:33:54,410 --> 00:33:56,629 So much sneaking around. 810 00:33:56,630 --> 00:33:58,299 Not that I would know. 811 00:33:58,300 --> 00:34:00,639 Yeah, I'll be sure to tell her that 812 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,599 to make her feel better. [SMOOCHES] 813 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,179 Hey, and by the way, do you mind... 814 00:34:04,180 --> 00:34:06,019 Picking out an outfit? Yes, of course. 815 00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:08,739 - I love you. - My boo. 816 00:34:08,740 --> 00:34:11,449 ♪♪ 817 00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:13,999 Tighter. Come on, Nigel. 818 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,579 [BLOWS KISS] Oh, Giles. 819 00:34:16,580 --> 00:34:19,589 Hello. When did you get here? 820 00:34:19,590 --> 00:34:22,389 I've been at home for two days, Daddy. 821 00:34:22,390 --> 00:34:25,939 Splendid. Ah, Cragscross. 822 00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:28,319 You know, that school has taught seven generations 823 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,609 of Thorpe-Bloods how to be men. 824 00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:32,739 [GAGS] Oh, that's not oolong. 825 00:34:32,740 --> 00:34:34,749 Oh, that's awful. That's not oolong. 826 00:34:34,750 --> 00:34:36,789 Ramona? Ramona, there you are. 827 00:34:36,790 --> 00:34:38,379 This isn't oolong. I can't have it. 828 00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:41,549 - Makes my mouth weird. - I said tighter. 829 00:34:41,550 --> 00:34:43,299 You sure you can breathe in that lark? 830 00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:45,269 I'll breathe when I'm dead. 831 00:34:45,270 --> 00:34:46,639 Quite right. 832 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,479 Come on, Harvey. 833 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,199 ♪♪ 834 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,409 And it's not just that he cheated on me. 835 00:34:54,410 --> 00:34:56,539 He completely blew up my career. 836 00:34:56,540 --> 00:34:59,419 I was supposed to be chief of staff for a senator! 837 00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:01,669 And now I've just lost everything. 838 00:35:01,670 --> 00:35:04,009 - Wait, shut up, shut up. - "Shut up"? 839 00:35:04,010 --> 00:35:05,849 You're the one that told me we needed to go on this run 840 00:35:05,850 --> 00:35:06,929 so we could talk. 841 00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:09,359 Yeah, about me. 842 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,739 - Where are we going? - Come over here. 843 00:35:11,740 --> 00:35:13,819 [PANTING] 844 00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:16,329 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 845 00:35:16,330 --> 00:35:18,249 MAYA: What? 846 00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:20,153 See those girls over there playing soccer? 847 00:35:20,154 --> 00:35:21,407 Yeah. 848 00:35:21,408 --> 00:35:23,177 See the one in the red shorts? 849 00:35:24,930 --> 00:35:26,849 Yeah. Getting weirder. 850 00:35:26,850 --> 00:35:28,279 That's my daughter. 851 00:35:29,980 --> 00:35:32,399 [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 852 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,659 What? Wh... holy shit! 853 00:35:34,660 --> 00:35:36,949 You have a daughter? Since when? 854 00:35:36,950 --> 00:35:39,459 About a year ago, I got a Facebook message 855 00:35:39,460 --> 00:35:41,419 from this woman, Julia, 856 00:35:41,420 --> 00:35:44,009 who claimed we hooked up when I first moved to London... 857 00:35:44,010 --> 00:35:46,179 Well, that narrows it down to a million girls. 858 00:35:46,180 --> 00:35:48,349 And that I'm the father of her kid. 859 00:35:48,350 --> 00:35:50,899 She just had questions about my medical history 860 00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:53,649 'cause her daughter has asthma. 861 00:35:53,650 --> 00:35:56,319 But after I answered she stopped responding. 862 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,959 So I hired someone, and a month ago he found her. 863 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:04,049 Now some Saturdays... most Saturdays... 864 00:36:04,050 --> 00:36:05,429 I come here. 865 00:36:05,430 --> 00:36:07,139 And you're sure it's that girl? 866 00:36:07,140 --> 00:36:09,179 The one in the red shorts? 867 00:36:09,180 --> 00:36:12,019 ALL: [CHEERING] 868 00:36:12,020 --> 00:36:13,779 In your face! Yes! 869 00:36:13,780 --> 00:36:16,739 Okay, yep, that's definitely her. 870 00:36:16,740 --> 00:36:19,369 Oh, my God, Craig. 871 00:36:19,370 --> 00:36:23,249 - What did everyone say? - I haven't told anyone yet. 872 00:36:23,250 --> 00:36:26,129 Well, what did Zara say? 873 00:36:26,130 --> 00:36:27,799 Craig. 874 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,849 I wanted to tell you first to get your opinion! 875 00:36:29,850 --> 00:36:31,649 You're a fixer! 876 00:36:31,650 --> 00:36:33,229 - Fix this! - [SCOFFS] 877 00:36:33,230 --> 00:36:35,649 Well, as someone who just got out of a relationship 878 00:36:35,650 --> 00:36:38,199 built on lies, you need to be honest 879 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,499 with this girl's mom and with Zara. 880 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:42,999 Either way, nothing good ever came out of a guy hiding 881 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,259 in the bushes at a kids' soccer game. 882 00:36:46,260 --> 00:36:49,139 ALL: Molly! Molly! Molly! 883 00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:51,019 Her name is Molly. 884 00:36:51,020 --> 00:36:53,979 ALL: [CHANTING] Molly! Molly! 885 00:36:53,980 --> 00:36:55,609 ♪♪ 886 00:36:55,610 --> 00:36:57,449 [OBJECT THUDS] 887 00:36:57,450 --> 00:36:58,659 Oh, my God, Poppy, 888 00:36:58,660 --> 00:37:00,409 this wedding is gonna be so ritzy. 889 00:37:00,410 --> 00:37:02,459 [LAUGHS] Don't take your eyes off 890 00:37:02,460 --> 00:37:04,629 my Insta stories tonight. 891 00:37:04,630 --> 00:37:07,719 Cuff links. 892 00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:10,469 Oh, my God, Poppy, I think I've just found my birthday present. 893 00:37:10,470 --> 00:37:12,269 I'll call you back when I find out how expensive it is. 894 00:37:12,270 --> 00:37:13,720 Bye. 895 00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:19,120 [LAUGHS] 896 00:37:20,790 --> 00:37:22,790 "M"? 897 00:37:24,330 --> 00:37:26,129 Maya. 898 00:37:26,130 --> 00:37:29,049 [TENSE MUSIC] 899 00:37:29,050 --> 00:37:32,059 [MELLOW ACOUSTIC GUITAR] 900 00:37:32,060 --> 00:37:35,109 ♪♪ 901 00:37:35,110 --> 00:37:37,109 Okay. 902 00:37:37,110 --> 00:37:38,609 HAROON: [CLEARS THROAT] 903 00:37:38,610 --> 00:37:40,829 Damn, Dad, you look good. 904 00:37:40,830 --> 00:37:43,749 Pakistani James Bond in the house. 905 00:37:43,750 --> 00:37:46,709 I'm Khan. Haroon Khan. 906 00:37:46,710 --> 00:37:50,009 One martini. Shaken, not stirred. 907 00:37:50,010 --> 00:37:52,179 No alcohol please. 908 00:37:52,180 --> 00:37:54,349 Can you guys please be quieter? 909 00:37:54,350 --> 00:37:56,439 I'm trying to practice my speech in the next room 910 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,109 and the walls are thin. 911 00:37:58,110 --> 00:37:59,819 Are you okay, Beta? Huh? 912 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:02,329 - Would you like to try it on us? - Yeah, go on. 913 00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:04,789 I'm fine, I just need you guys to stop being so lame 914 00:38:04,790 --> 00:38:05,999 so I can practice. 915 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,379 [LAUGHS] 916 00:38:07,380 --> 00:38:08,919 He's kind of a little shit, isn't he? 917 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,259 He's just nervous. 918 00:38:10,260 --> 00:38:12,759 I'm nervous, too. 919 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,059 Doing the right thing, aren't I? 920 00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:16,859 Marrying Ainsley? 921 00:38:16,860 --> 00:38:19,029 Why would you ask that? 922 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:20,201 Kashif. 923 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:24,249 You know I struggled with you marrying 924 00:38:24,250 --> 00:38:25,959 outside our faith. 925 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,339 But you have always made the right decisions. 926 00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:31,089 Going to Cambridge. Choosing a great career. 927 00:38:31,090 --> 00:38:33,559 Agreeing to do a nikkah after your wedding. 928 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,769 Only to keep you happy. That imam is weird. 929 00:38:35,770 --> 00:38:37,859 He keeps trying to relate the Quran to pop culture. 930 00:38:37,860 --> 00:38:40,779 And now you're marrying a woman you love. 931 00:38:40,780 --> 00:38:43,489 So if this is what your heart is telling you to do, 932 00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:46,249 then you know it's right. [LAUGHS] 933 00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:48,540 [MELANCHOLY MUSIC] 934 00:38:53,970 --> 00:38:56,979 [CHEERFUL MUSIC] 935 00:38:56,980 --> 00:38:59,939 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 936 00:38:59,940 --> 00:39:02,789 ♪♪ 937 00:39:06,790 --> 00:39:09,039 "It does not envy. 938 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,799 Love is patient. 939 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,299 Love is kind." 940 00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:14,969 Oh, there you are. 941 00:39:14,970 --> 00:39:16,929 Oh, wow, Gemma. 942 00:39:16,930 --> 00:39:18,349 You look great. 943 00:39:18,350 --> 00:39:20,319 It's... 944 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,779 almost like we aren't wearing the same dress. 945 00:39:22,780 --> 00:39:25,369 Well, different bodies. 946 00:39:25,370 --> 00:39:27,289 How are you holding up, dear? 947 00:39:27,290 --> 00:39:29,209 Ainsley told me everything. 948 00:39:29,210 --> 00:39:31,339 Such is our bond. 949 00:39:31,340 --> 00:39:33,509 I'm not focusing on me right now. 950 00:39:33,510 --> 00:39:35,679 Sort of my job as maid of honor 951 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,350 to keep today about Ainsley. 952 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,359 Well, good luck with your reading. 953 00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,119 Good luck with yours. 954 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,949 ♪♪ 955 00:39:47,950 --> 00:39:51,209 [SIGHS] Okay. 956 00:39:51,210 --> 00:39:53,679 ♪♪ 957 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,149 "Love is patient. 958 00:40:00,150 --> 00:40:01,979 Love is kind." [SCOFFS] 959 00:40:01,980 --> 00:40:03,359 Yeah, right. 960 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,949 "It does not envy..." 961 00:40:05,950 --> 00:40:08,659 - Hey. - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 962 00:40:08,660 --> 00:40:10,919 I just wandered in here to practice my Bible reading. 963 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,959 Wait, wait, it's fine. 964 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,379 Oh. 965 00:40:14,380 --> 00:40:17,259 - How are you? - Uh, me? 966 00:40:17,260 --> 00:40:19,099 I'm... [LAUGHS] 967 00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:22,019 How I am is not important. How are you? 968 00:40:22,020 --> 00:40:24,529 - Pretty nervous, actually. - Why? 969 00:40:24,530 --> 00:40:26,489 You're marrying, like, the best person I know. 970 00:40:26,490 --> 00:40:28,579 And weddings are easy. You're an actor. 971 00:40:28,580 --> 00:40:30,079 You're already in costume. 972 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:31,579 Just go out there and say your lines. 973 00:40:31,580 --> 00:40:33,379 Simple. 974 00:40:33,380 --> 00:40:37,259 Wasn't so simple for Sophie and Sky's wedding. 975 00:40:37,260 --> 00:40:39,429 - You watched Mamma Mia! - Yeah, I did. 976 00:40:39,430 --> 00:40:41,269 And for a movie that makes no sense, 977 00:40:41,270 --> 00:40:43,689 I've gotta say, I enjoyed it. 978 00:40:43,690 --> 00:40:45,149 Although, did you think it was weird 979 00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:46,909 that her mum performed at her hen night? 980 00:40:46,910 --> 00:40:48,659 - Yes, so weird. - Right? 981 00:40:48,660 --> 00:40:50,199 But I guess they had to get their money's worth, 982 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:51,409 'cause she's dead in the second one. 983 00:40:51,410 --> 00:40:53,169 What? Meryl's dead? 984 00:40:53,170 --> 00:40:54,919 Oh, my God, why would you ruin that for me? 985 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,509 I'm so sorry. 986 00:40:56,510 --> 00:40:58,549 Uh, okay, on that note I should get out of here. 987 00:40:58,550 --> 00:40:59,723 - [LAUGHS] - Right, yeah. 988 00:40:59,724 --> 00:41:01,579 The Senator's probably wondering where you are. 989 00:41:02,730 --> 00:41:05,569 Oh, Ainsley didn't tell you? 990 00:41:05,570 --> 00:41:08,279 - Tell me... ? - He couldn't make it. 991 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,699 'Cause we... we broke up. 992 00:41:10,700 --> 00:41:12,829 And, uh, thought it would be weird to bring him here 993 00:41:12,830 --> 00:41:14,669 under those circumstances, being that I hate him 994 00:41:14,670 --> 00:41:16,759 and wish he was dead. 995 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,559 Um, I'm so sorry. 996 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,770 Yeah. Me, too. 997 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:27,069 Oh, uh, just a second. 998 00:41:27,070 --> 00:41:29,069 Oh. 999 00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:30,869 - There we go. - Thanks. 1000 00:41:30,870 --> 00:41:34,709 Okay, I will let you get back to it. 1001 00:41:34,710 --> 00:41:37,840 - Good luck. - Thank you. 1002 00:41:42,770 --> 00:41:45,729 [WHISPERING] Oh, fuck. 1003 00:41:45,730 --> 00:41:49,069 [LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC] 1004 00:41:49,070 --> 00:41:51,949 MAYA: Hey! 1005 00:41:51,950 --> 00:41:54,919 - How are you? - CRAIG: So good. 1006 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,839 [SIGHS] 1007 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,839 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1008 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,860 ♪♪ 1009 00:42:08,610 --> 00:42:10,819 PRIEST: And which brings us here today 1010 00:42:10,820 --> 00:42:12,369 to celebrate the union of 1011 00:42:12,370 --> 00:42:15,419 Kashif Khan and Ainsley Howard. 1012 00:42:15,420 --> 00:42:18,209 And now, a reading 1013 00:42:18,210 --> 00:42:20,430 from the Prophet Isaiah. 1014 00:42:33,660 --> 00:42:36,539 Instead of doing a reading from the Bible, 1015 00:42:36,540 --> 00:42:39,419 I thought I would instead turn to the words 1016 00:42:39,420 --> 00:42:41,357 of a blind prophet, 1017 00:42:42,970 --> 00:42:45,849 a poet who spoke 1018 00:42:45,850 --> 00:42:48,269 to the very nature of love. 1019 00:42:48,270 --> 00:42:51,069 [STEVIE WONDER'S FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE PLAYING ON ORGAN] 1020 00:42:51,070 --> 00:42:53,699 ♪ For once in my life ♪ 1021 00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,749 ♪ I have someone who needs me ♪ 1022 00:42:56,750 --> 00:43:00,379 ♪ Someone I've needed so long ♪ 1023 00:43:00,380 --> 00:43:02,759 ♪ For once I'm afraid ♪ 1024 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,929 ♪ I can go where life leads me ♪ 1025 00:43:05,930 --> 00:43:09,439 ♪ Somehow I know I'll be strong ♪ 1026 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,859 ♪ For once I can touch ♪ 1027 00:43:11,860 --> 00:43:14,739 ♪ What my heart used to dream of ♪ 1028 00:43:14,740 --> 00:43:18,249 ♪ Long before I knew ♪ 1029 00:43:18,250 --> 00:43:22,629 ♪ Oh, someone warm like you ♪ 1030 00:43:22,630 --> 00:43:28,019 ♪ Would make my dreams come true ♪ 1031 00:43:28,020 --> 00:43:29,979 I know I'm only a bridesmaid, 1032 00:43:29,980 --> 00:43:32,109 but I wanted to express my love... 1033 00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:34,529 Emeli Sandé, get out here, girl! 1034 00:43:34,530 --> 00:43:37,709 CHOIR: ♪ Someone who needs me ♪ 1035 00:43:37,710 --> 00:43:40,709 ♪ For once in my life ♪ 1036 00:43:40,710 --> 00:43:43,379 ♪ I won't let sorrow hurt me ♪ 1037 00:43:43,380 --> 00:43:45,799 ♪ Not like it hurt me before ♪ 1038 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,679 CHOIR: ♪ Not like it hurt me before ♪ 1039 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,309 EMELI SANDE: ♪ For once I have someone ♪ 1040 00:43:49,310 --> 00:43:52,689 ♪ I know won't desert me ♪ 1041 00:43:52,690 --> 00:43:56,329 ♪ I'm not alone anymore ♪ 1042 00:43:56,330 --> 00:43:58,579 ♪ For once I can say ♪ 1043 00:43:58,580 --> 00:44:01,249 ♪ This is mine, you can't take it ♪ 1044 00:44:01,250 --> 00:44:05,129 ♪ Long as I have love I know I can make it ♪ 1045 00:44:05,130 --> 00:44:07,139 BOTH: ♪ For once in my life ♪ 1046 00:44:07,140 --> 00:44:11,559 ♪ I have someone who needs me ♪ 1047 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,529 CHOIR: ♪ Needs me ♪ 1048 00:44:13,530 --> 00:44:16,199 ♪ For once in my life ♪ 1049 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:17,789 CHOIR: ♪ Who needs me ♪ 1050 00:44:17,790 --> 00:44:20,789 ♪ For once in my life ♪ 1051 00:44:20,790 --> 00:44:23,800 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1052 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,099 Congratulations. 1053 00:44:27,100 --> 00:44:30,309 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1054 00:44:30,310 --> 00:44:32,149 [MOUTHING WORDS] 1055 00:44:32,150 --> 00:44:34,149 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1056 00:44:34,150 --> 00:44:37,739 GEMMA: Good luck. 1057 00:44:37,740 --> 00:44:40,119 Jesus Christ, what a performance. 1058 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,999 Oh, sorry. 1059 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,009 And now for the reading 1060 00:44:45,010 --> 00:44:47,389 from "Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians", 1061 00:44:47,390 --> 00:44:50,680 the bride's friend from America: Maya. 1062 00:44:55,030 --> 00:44:57,360 Tough act to follow. 1063 00:45:00,620 --> 00:45:02,709 [SIGHS] Didn't know we could sing. 1064 00:45:02,710 --> 00:45:04,919 [LAUGHS] 1065 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,220 [SIGHS] 1066 00:45:13,190 --> 00:45:14,979 [SIGHS] 1067 00:45:14,980 --> 00:45:17,239 Love is patient. 1068 00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:19,909 Love is kind. 1069 00:45:19,910 --> 00:45:23,079 Love is great. 1070 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,839 Love is blind? 1071 00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,639 Um, in the beginning, 1072 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,009 God created love. 1073 00:45:31,010 --> 00:45:33,389 Thank you, oh, Lord, for love, 1074 00:45:33,390 --> 00:45:35,399 thy greatest creation, 1075 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:39,489 given unto us, thy children. 1076 00:45:39,490 --> 00:45:42,999 Thank thou. 1077 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,459 Yea, though I walk through the valley 1078 00:45:45,460 --> 00:45:48,679 of the shadow of death, I take a look at my life 1079 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:52,219 and realize there's nothing left. 1080 00:45:52,220 --> 00:45:54,649 - That Gangsta's Paradise? - That's Gangsta's Paradise. 1081 00:45:54,650 --> 00:45:57,069 Nothing left except love. 1082 00:45:57,070 --> 00:45:58,949 All you need is love, 1083 00:45:58,950 --> 00:46:00,569 because if you can't love yourself, 1084 00:46:00,570 --> 00:46:01,869 how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? 1085 00:46:01,870 --> 00:46:04,160 Can I get an "amen"? 1086 00:46:05,170 --> 00:46:07,799 RuPaul? Does no one here watch, uh... 1087 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,219 Please, just sit. 1088 00:46:10,220 --> 00:46:12,140 Yeah. 1089 00:46:13,430 --> 00:46:15,689 Horrible. Just horrible. 1090 00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:18,609 [INDISTINCT WHISPERING] 1091 00:46:18,610 --> 00:46:19,949 You were so great. 1092 00:46:19,950 --> 00:46:22,029 I think everybody, like, really liked it. 1093 00:46:22,030 --> 00:46:25,580 And now, will the bride and groom please come forward? 1094 00:46:27,290 --> 00:46:29,669 [LAUGHING SOFTLY] 1095 00:46:29,670 --> 00:46:32,679 [MELLOW, SWEET MUSIC] 1096 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,059 ♪♪ 1097 00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:39,189 In the sight of God, do you, Kashif Khan, 1098 00:46:39,190 --> 00:46:42,199 take this woman, Ainsley Howard, 1099 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:45,619 to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1100 00:46:45,620 --> 00:46:47,629 [SIGHS] 1101 00:46:47,630 --> 00:46:49,460 I, uh... 1102 00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,019 [STAMMERS] 1103 00:46:55,020 --> 00:46:57,059 I... 1104 00:46:57,060 --> 00:47:00,149 would love to talk to you for a second. 1105 00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:01,699 What? 1106 00:47:01,700 --> 00:47:05,239 I just... I would love to talk to you. 1107 00:47:05,240 --> 00:47:07,499 Somewhere else. 1108 00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,499 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Kash, what are you doing? 1109 00:47:09,500 --> 00:47:12,429 Young man, do you take this woman to be your wife? 1110 00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:13,960 I think... I just... 1111 00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:21,229 - I don't think I do. - [GASPS] 1112 00:47:21,230 --> 00:47:22,339 I don't. 1113 00:47:24,740 --> 00:47:27,749 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 1114 00:47:27,750 --> 00:47:32,050 ♪♪ 1115 00:47:35,180 --> 00:47:38,189 ["HEART OF GLASS" PLAYING] 1116 00:47:38,190 --> 00:47:41,189 [GENTLE PIANO MUSIC] 1117 00:47:41,190 --> 00:47:43,210 ♪♪ 1118 00:47:49,210 --> 00:47:54,259 ♪ Once I had a love and it was a gas ♪ 1119 00:47:54,260 --> 00:47:56,049 ♪♪ 1120 00:47:56,050 --> 00:48:00,559 ♪ Soon turned out, I had a heart of glass ♪ 1121 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,819 ♪♪ 1122 00:48:02,820 --> 00:48:05,619 ♪ Seemed like the real thing ♪ 1123 00:48:05,620 --> 00:48:09,619 ♪ Only to find ♪ 1124 00:48:09,620 --> 00:48:11,959 ♪ So much mistrust ♪ 1125 00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:15,549 ♪ Love's gone behind ♪ 1126 00:48:15,550 --> 00:48:19,559 ♪♪ 1127 00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,560 MAN: Go to bed. 1128 00:48:35,550 --> 00:48:38,849 [WAGNER'S BRIDAL CHORUS PLAYING ON ORGAN] 1129 00:48:38,850 --> 00:48:41,229 - I don't. - You don't? 1130 00:48:41,230 --> 00:48:43,189 Maybe? 1131 00:48:43,190 --> 00:48:44,739 [CROWD GASPING] 1132 00:48:44,740 --> 00:48:47,279 ANNOUNCER: This season on Four Weddings and a Funeral... 1133 00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,869 There has to be some reason why this happened. 1134 00:48:49,870 --> 00:48:52,629 We had the perfect relationship. 1135 00:48:52,630 --> 00:48:54,629 You don't just throw that away for nothing. 1136 00:48:54,630 --> 00:48:56,929 HAROON: You have not been out of the house for a week. 1137 00:48:56,930 --> 00:48:59,139 You know, since your very public humiliation. 1138 00:48:59,140 --> 00:49:01,059 Ainsley, you'll get through this. 1139 00:49:01,060 --> 00:49:02,349 We'll help you. 1140 00:49:02,350 --> 00:49:04,779 - And Kash sucks. - ALL: Kash sucks. 1141 00:49:04,780 --> 00:49:07,279 SINGER: ♪ Let me take this moment ♪ 1142 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,619 ♪ Show you how to own it ♪ 1143 00:49:09,620 --> 00:49:11,289 I'm gonna tell Maya that I love her 1144 00:49:11,290 --> 00:49:12,579 in front of everyone. 1145 00:49:12,580 --> 00:49:13,580 Go big or go home. 1146 00:49:13,581 --> 00:49:14,959 Oh, you should go home. 1147 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,839 CRAIG: I have a daughter. 1148 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,639 Craig, you still haven't told her? 1149 00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,599 - I need to talk to you. - Oh, my God! 1150 00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:22,019 I found this necklace. 1151 00:49:22,020 --> 00:49:24,060 It's obviously for Maya. 1152 00:49:25,150 --> 00:49:27,819 Let's not jump to any conclusions, okay? 1153 00:49:27,820 --> 00:49:31,289 "M" could mean anything: Mary, Meghan, Monica... 1154 00:49:31,290 --> 00:49:34,289 Those are other women. That doesn't make me feel better. 1155 00:49:34,290 --> 00:49:36,419 Tell me you don't think about me too. 1156 00:49:36,420 --> 00:49:38,799 MAYA: I wish things weren't so complicated. 1157 00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:40,259 Have any of you seen Zara? 1158 00:49:40,260 --> 00:49:41,509 She's just totally disappeared. 1159 00:49:41,510 --> 00:49:44,229 We stick together like the Spice Girls. 1160 00:49:44,230 --> 00:49:45,819 They famously broke up. 1161 00:49:45,820 --> 00:49:47,399 Oh, God, this is intolerable. 1162 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:48,859 AINSLEY: Someone told me, 1163 00:49:48,860 --> 00:49:52,119 you show up for the people who matter the most to you. 1164 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,039 Good luck, man! Love will find a way, bro. 1165 00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:58,169 ♪♪ 1166 00:49:58,170 --> 00:49:59,379 Do you really think I can do this? 1167 00:49:59,380 --> 00:50:01,139 I do. 1168 00:50:01,140 --> 00:50:02,810 But I'm wrong about most things. 1169 00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:07,093 ♪♪ 1170 00:50:07,094 --> 00:50:09,594 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 81535

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