All language subtitles for veronica.mars.s04e06.web.h264-tbs-en

VERONICA:
Previously on Veronica Mars...

‐ Where's the ring, raghead?!

‐ I don't know!
‐ Liar!

Abu Ghraaaah!

‐ [ Daniel cries out ]
‐ [ Tyler laughs ]

‐ Kill those two guys back there.
I never want to see them again.

DODIE:
This is from the congressman.

[ bird screeching ]

PENN: Big Dick Casablancas
and Clyde Pickett

are responsible for the bombings.

‐ [ spectators shouting ]
‐ They are killing Neptune

as a spring break destination city!

‐ I'm makin' it a bigger thing?!
‐ Clyde, no one believes him!

He's the pizza boy who cried wolf.

‐ Duck!
[ fires shotgun ]

‐ There's something
digging into my back.

[ screams ]
‐ Oh!

‐ I need help from someone
with top secret government clearance

in finding the person

who is blackmailing Daniel Maloof.

You don't seem to care
about all those people

getting killed by bombs,
Juan Diego.

Six hundred.
It'll get you far away from here.

‐ It's a pattern,

but I was missing a perp.
‐ And now?

KEITH:
What about Nicole?

We know for sure that
almost every victim

passed through Quacks.

Not a lot of ladies slip on sap gloves

and knock men out
with practiced right hooks.

VERONICA:
I think it was there,

sitting at my desk
listening to my new buddy Nicole

playing Mr. Wobbly Hides His Helmet
with one of her bartenders

that it crossed my mind.
‐ [ moaning on video ]

VERONICA: There might be
something wrong with me.

Maybe Logan was right. I should
have sought professional help

right then.
KEITH: Veronica.

Line one, Ms. Mars.

‐ Thanks, darlin'.

Uh, coffee. Black.

‐ [ sighs ]

‐ You're prettier when you smile.

Veronica Mars.

Of course I remember.

She did? How?

Okay. I'll look into it right away.

Okay, Renee.

I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
[ hangs up phone ]

Matty's family left on a spring break
vacation to Paris.

Matty's mom and stepfather
were in first class,

so neither of them noticed
that Matty never boarded.

‐ She Home Alone-d them.

‐ Matty's mom wants me to find her.

‐ Well, you've done it before.

‐ Oh. And Nicole sold Comrade Quacks
to Big Dick Casablancas

just days after confronting him
at the City Council meeting.

‐ But someone was just telling me
that Nicole couldn't be a suspect

because she would never destroy
her own business

by setting off these bombs.

‐ Well, that person,

whoever it was,

is a real asshole.

Alexa. Who's the bomber?

‐ Uh, we don't have one of those.

‐ Then who the hell's been talkin' to me
when you're not here?

[ theme music playing ]

SINGER:
♪ A long time ago ♪

♪ We used to be friends ♪

♪ But I haven't thought of you
lately at all ♪

♪ Bring it on, bring it on, yeah ♪

♪ Just remember me when ♪

♪ We used to be friends ♪

♪ A long time ago ♪

♪ We used to be friends ♪

♪ A long time ago ♪

♪ We used to be friends ♪

♪ Hey ♪

[ knocking continues ]

‐ Bonjour, mon enfant terrible.

‐ Quelle surprise.

Where's the wine?

‐ In your mother's voice
when she called me this morning.

‐ [ sighs ] Of course my mom called you.

‐ Yeah. She shoulda just let it slide.

I mean, uncool, Mom.

[ tapping keyboard ]

Who's the Salvador Dali of string art?

‐ Me. It was hanging up in the office
when it blew up.

I did it when I was ten. Dad loved it.

Did you know that
Big Dick left his first wife

for this tart
20 years younger than him?

‐ I know everything.

‐ Did you know that Big Dick
had a son

who blew up a busload of kids?

‐ Fully up to speed.

‐ So what I don't get is why

you don't think his asshole father
could be the bomber?

‐ I did at first.

But... [ sighs ]

Matty, with each bomb,
it seems less and less likely.

‐ But he's the one
profiting from the bombs.

He's buying up all the land.

‐ I just don't think he has the stomach
for mass murder.

‐ So he hires people.

Like Perry Walsh, the guy who planted
the bomb in our vending machine?

Or that guy Clyde?

‐ Clyde was well known for robbing banks

using nothing more than good manners
and his bedroom voice.

‐ Fine.

‐ [ sighs ] Call your mom.

Tell her you're okay.

‐ Whoa. Don't tase me, bro,
I'll make the call.

VERONICA:
It's yours.

It's pretty self‐explanatory.
‐ [ line out ringing ]

‐ [ chuckles softly ]

[ computer beeping, chiming ]

‐ What's up, Don?

‐ I only have a few minutes

before I have to brief Senator Klynholtz.

Which tie best tells the House Republicans
to jam it up their asses?

‐ Uh, no tie. A dashiki.

And I always thought you'd look good
in a kufi prayer cap.

‐ So, blue tie.

‐ Oh, my God. You used to have balls.

"Thirty minutes or less."
Do you remember those days?

‐ I envy you, Penny.
No real responsibilities.

Still able to shake your first at the Man.

‐ Hey, I have got it all goin' on.

‐ Anyway, the reason I called‐‐

‐ It's not for fashion advice?

‐ Carol mentioned to me
that you two were pursuing a new theory,

something about prostituting oneself?

Anyway, us fellow Murderheads
all agree it'd be best

if you ran any new theories by me first

before announcing them publicly.

Shit, the Senator's gonna be pissed.
Tell me you're onboard.

‐ Fine.

‐ There's my team player.

Dominate.

[ hits keyboard ]

‐ Asshole.

‐ Uh, FBI agents are ineligible
to collect rewards.

‐ So what I'm hearing
is that there is no reason

you should not tell me
everything you know.

‐ Okay. Here's what I know.

My bosses are having us chase a guy
that I don't think is the guy.

He's a serial bomber, but I‐‐

‐ Why don't you like him?
‐ Well, he's a racist.

‐ A racist? Well, then
I don't like him either.

‐ Yeah, but these Neptune bombings,
they don't feel like

they have a racial component to them.

‐ True.

The victims are like a Benneton ad.

‐ Exactly. But the people above me
in the food chain

tell me to focus on this guy,
so I'm gonna focus on this guy.

Unless, of course,
you've already solved the case.

Is this, uh, your bag full o' clues?

‐ No, that's my bag full o' lady stuff.

[ door opens ]

‐ Suspect sighting in Reno.
We gotta boogie.

‐ Okay. Let's not be late
capturing the wrong guy.

Uh, it's good to see you, Veronica.

‐ [ Marcia sighs ]

[ camera clicking ]

‐ "Prostitute yourself"?

‐ Yeah. Exactly.

It's all laid for you.
It's practically courtroom ready!

MARCIA:
Get the hell out of my office!

You are the pizza boy who cried wolf,

and we are done listening to you!

Do you understand?!

KEITH:
These are old case files.

Deaths written off as accidents
from previous spring breaks.

So Leo said it was okay for you
to photograph confidential FBI files?

‐ Not in those exact words.

‐ Which words did he use?

‐ It was more of a vibe.

There was a twinkle of consent
in his eye,

the invitation implicit
in the very act of leaving the room.

‐ Implicit because
he left you in the room

and didn't specifically say,
"Please don't photograph these."

‐ See? You get it.
‐ Yep.

‐ What are you reading?

KEITH: The incident at Chattanooga
Charlie's last spring break.

I kind of remember it.

One of the tanks exploded,
killed an employee.

Report called it equipment failure.

What do you got?

‐ Another suspicious accident.

Three spring breaks ago,

A Hearst freshman Pi Sig
dies on the beach

from burns suffered when his tent
catches on fire with him in it.

There were whispers of it
being a hazing gone wrong,

but again, written off as an accident.

‐ I'll drop by Chattanooga Charlie's.
I've already got a rapport with the owner.

VERONICA:
Okay, sure.

And me and the guys at Pi Sigma Sigma,
we're super tight, so...

[ knocking on door ]

‐ Knock knock.
Who loves pizza?

‐ This clue is huge.

In my mind, this blows this whole thing
right open.

And this was a group Murderhead effort.

I mean, I nudged them,
and then... voilà.

And I thought,
"Who should reel this fish in?

Team Mars." That's why
I'm givin' you guys first crack.

‐ I saw you in
the police chief's office a few hours ago.

‐ Okay. Look,
that was my civic duty.

This? This is me havin' a shot

at a slice of that
quarter‐million dollar reward.

‐ What's the clue?

‐ What's my cut?

‐ We're not going to negotiate
without knowing the clue.

‐ All right.

Big Dick Casablancas

has a Twitter feed called
BigDickProps.

‐ [ gags ]
PENN: Five times

he has used the phrase
"prostitute oneself" in his tweets.

‐ That's weird, but what does it‐‐
‐ The... note from the bomber

included that phrase.

‐ You know how I know
I'm onto something?

‐ How?

‐ Because yesterday

I found a dead duck in my bed.

It's them telling me to back off.

Now...

about that cut.

MATTY:
My mom's all right.

She just thought my dad lacked ambition.

They wanted different things,
I guess.

VERONICA: It happens.

‐ I should go now.
Thanks for the square meal.

[ door opens ]

‐ Hello.

‐ Logan, Matty. Matty, Logan.

LOGAN: Hey there.
‐ Hi.

I was just on my way out.

‐ Something I said?

‐ [ chuckles ]

‐ Bye.
‐ Bye.

[ door closes ]

‐ That's the girl who lost her dad
in the Sea Sprite bombing.

‐ That's her?

‐ Yeah. Why?

‐ Vinnie was in the Maloof suite today

telling Amalia that he thought
the motel owner's daughter

must have the missing ring.

‐ [ scoffs ]
‐ Vinnie said he was gonna lean on her,

but her family was in Paris
for spring break.

VERONICA: Ugh. I'm gonna
have to pay Vinnie a visit.

‐ Well, if that pisses you off,

then you don't want to know
what Amalia's paying him.

Three grand a day.

‐ Christ.
VERONICA: Yeah.

Hey, I heard from
my buddy at the base.

Sounds like he has a lead
on Maloof's blackmailer.

I'm gonna head down there tomorrow.

‐ You should lead with the good news.
LOGAN: Mm.

So, what are you doing tomorrow
around 5:00?

‐ Why?

‐ Because Jane said
she can see us then.

‐ I must have missed the part where
I said I would go see your therapist.

‐ That word doesn't even sound right.

It's more like... talking to a friend.

‐ I don't pay my friends.

‐ I don't either. Insurance covers it.

But Jane thinks it would be beneficial
to our relationship to see her together.

‐ Logan, I admire

your dedication
to self‐discovery.

‐ You sure?
‐ Somewhat.

But I'm absolutely fine
with where I've landed.

‐ Are you?

‐ [ grunting ]

‐ Ohhh.
VERONICA: You're crazy!

‐ I'm gonna take a shower.

Ohh.

[ Pony whines ]

‐ What's wrong with watching TV
and having sex?

[ door closes ]

That's therapy for me.

[ shower running ]

I'm gonna go see some naked ladies
and scare a buffoon! You wanna come?

LOGAN:
You say somethin'?

Veronica?

[ rock music blaring ]

VINNIE: No, no, I will not go
to the Champagne Room with you.

Do I have money? Yes.
I got a lot of money.

But I can tell by the pitter‐patter
of your little footsteps

that you're a little light in the caboose

and, uh, the ladies I take
to the Champagne Room are a lot of things,

but light in the caboose
is not one of 'em.

Oh. Hey, Veronica.

‐ This place has a Champagne Room?

‐ You know what?

It's that air of superiority,
that patronizing tone,

that has sparked a political backlash,
okay?

White men. We're not gonna
take it anymore, V‐Chip.

Right, guys?

‐ Uh, you run a business
out of a strip club.

I can't help but feel superior.

Also... yeah, the results are in.
I am superior.

‐ We're at a titty bar.

That means I win.

So‐‐ heh heh‐‐ what do you want?

‐ I am hereby issuing a restraining order
for Matty Ross.

You are to stay at least 200 feet away
at all times,

or risk me doing something mean to you.

‐ Okay, Katniss.

[ phone buzzes, chimes ]

‐ Uh, Veronica,
you can't use your phone in‐‐

‐ I know, I just need‐‐

MAN OVER P. A.:
Put the phone away.

Put. The. Phone. Away.

‐ I heard you!
‐ Tried to tell ya.

‐ How do you use this place
as an office

if you can't use your phone?

‐ I can use my phone.

‐ By the way...

what you're charging the Maloofs
is an outrage.

‐ Well, Mrs. Maloof let me know

what the number two P.I. outfit in town
was charging,

and I had to adjust my rates.

Plus all the up‐charges.

‐ Up‐charges?

‐ Yeah. Photocopying, mileage,

trackin' down a couple of Mexicans.

‐ What makes you think
that Matty knows where the ring is?

‐ Well, process of elimination.

You know, I talked to everyone else
who woulda had a chance to take it,

and no one's seen it.

And then I was watching
the news coverage of that night,

and there's this girl...
walkin' through the crime scene,

bendin' down, pickin' up stuff.

‐ Would you like a dance, Vinnie?

‐ I would indeed.

Bye, Veronica.

CHARLIE:
The good ol' days,

it was wall‐to‐wall dicks and chicks
in here,

but now look at us.

You want a slice?
It's Cho's sweet and sour pork pizza.

I can't lie, I'm gonna miss this
in Chattanooga.

‐ No, thanks.

You were telling me
about the accident last year.

‐ Yeah. Mike,
he was our brewmaster,

he comes in one day, starts tellin' me
that the boil kettle is ma‐‐

that's this, um‐‐
here, I'll just show ya.

Mike says it's makin' this crazy noise

and it's spittin' out steam
all over the place,

and he tells me to go get this wrench.

And he's real pissed off 'cause he says
somebody's messed with his tank.

So I go to get the wrench,
and that's when I hear the boom.

Um, the relief valve,
that's this little doohickey right here,

apparently it just blew,

and it killed Mike instantly.

[ knocking on door ]

[ door opens ]

VERONICA: Veronica Mars.

I'm a private investigator.

I'm looking into
the recent bombings here in Neptune.

I need to talk to Darren Silva,
Campbell Davis,

and Blake Long.

‐ Yeah, sorry, they're not here.

‐ Well, their cars are here.

So you can either take me to them

or count on the police receiving
a noise complaint about this house

every Saturday night for the next year.

[ rock music playing ]

DARREN: The bombings?

What would I know
about the bombings?

‐ What happened that spring break night
three years ago

when your buddy Patrick Hatcher died?

‐ What?

‐ I think you heard me.

‐ What does that have to do
with these bombings?

It was an accident.

We were all shitfaced, and...

yeah,
we all learned a valuable lesson.

‐ You're not really a P. I.
Who sent you?

Was it the Lambdas?

Hats off, Lambdas.

‐ I'm a P. I., Mr. Davis.

‐ Yeah, if you say so.

So what's your scam?

You gonna talk to me about
some uggo I took to bone town?

Tell me she's pregnant?

Is that necklace a‐‐ a camera there?

You suck, Lambdas! [ scoffs ]

‐ They're domestic lagers,
they all taste the same.

Now pick one, turn around,

and talk to me about
the night Patrick Hatcher died.

[ thud ]

‐ [ groans ]

‐ Look, whoever you are,

my dad's a lawyer
and he told me not to talk to anyone.

So leave me the hell alone.

SINGER: [ outside ]
♪ 'Cause I'm high on forever ♪

♪ Always together ♪

♪ And I'm coming down ♪

♪ 'Cause it's starting to hurt ♪

♪ Starting to hurt ♪

[ song ends ]

Thank you, Neptune.

Something I can help you with?

‐ Blake Long?

‐ Yeah, that's me.

‐ Got a minute?

‐ Yeah. Sure. What's... What's up?

‐ What can you tell me about

the night three years ago
when Patrick Hatcher died?

CAMPBELL: You!

Get out. Now.

Now!

‐ Little early for that.
‐ Oh, but I finished my homework, Mom.

[ laughs ]

Ya see what I did there?
I called you Mom.

It's funny because my mom
was also a judgmental shrew.

[ phone beeps ]

BIG DICK [ on recording ]:
Set up a trust fund for P. W.'s kid.

Use a Cayman account.
Enough to cover college.

‐ P. W.?

‐ [ whispers ] Yeah. Perry Walsh.

‐ I sure as shit know who P. W. is,
Dick.

Leaving messages like this for me,

messages where you ask me
to set up a trust fund

for the kid of a guy suspected
of bombing a building

that we are desperate to buy,

is a very good way
to end up back in prison.

‐ That's why I used initials.
CLYDE: What?!

A ten‐year‐old could figure that out.

Come on, Dick, we're suspects.

Pizza guy is announcing
that we're responsible.

Keith Mars is sniffin' around.

Every time his daughter looks at me
it's with spite in her eyes.

‐ Hey, if you had supported the plan
in the first place,

it wouldn't have gone off the rails

and I never would have had to ask
Perry Walsh to do what he does.

‐ Or you could have offered Ross
another million.

He would've sold you the Sea Sprite

and those four people
would still be alive.

‐ Yeah, well, that would
have been overpaying, and I never overpay.

Look, the bomb was supposed to go off
in the middle of the night.

It was just supposed to be a warning
to Sul Ross, but, well, shit happens.

The internet went down and...
messed up the timer.

Don't judge me. It's not like
your hands are clean in all this.

Shit, I know you're the one
who got rid of Perry Walsh.

‐ You know that?

‐ What, you think I'm stupid?

KEITH:
Sarah, hi. Keith Mars.

Was hopin' to get a few minutes
with Big Dick.

‐ Is he expecting you?

‐ I was just in the neighborhood.

‐ Mr. C, there's a Keith Mars here
to see you.

[ over intercom ]
Without an appointment.

BIG DICK:
Show him in, Sarah.

SARAH:
Right this way.

BIG DICK: Keith!
Come on in!

‐ Mr. Casablancas.
‐ [ Big Dick laughs ]

KEITH: Clyde, hey!
What a bonus.

‐ How are ya, young man?
KEITH: Pretty good.

‐ What are you doin' here, come down
to see about some new retail space?

‐ [ Big Dick guffaws ]
CLYDE: Go ahead, have a seat.

‐ I'll only take a minute.

But don't tell my client, because
it's gonna appear as an hour

on the invoice.
‐ [ laughs ] Your secret's safe with us.

‐ Yeah, it's just, uh...

since that pizza guy made that accusation
at the City Council meeting,

my client's been on me,
"Have ya checked out Casablancas?

Is it true he's buying up
all those properties?"

‐ It's a load of horse shit, Keith,

you know that.
‐ I know, that's what I told 'em.

I said, "Hey, he might run off with
your money, but the man's not a killer."

BIG DICK: Hm.
KEITH: So here's what I came to ask.

‐ Shoot.
‐ Central Moon Limited.

Skyburst Resources Limited.

Pentalink Commercial Limited.

Those names mean anything to you?

‐ Mm, nuh...

‐ Those are all subsidiaries
of Team Casablancas Realty.

‐ Oh, yeah. I thought
they sounded familiar.

LLCs are like ex‐girlfriends.
There's too many to remember.

CLYDE:
We had to face facts, Keith.

We have an image problem
at Team Casablancas.

Small business owners
don't wanna sell to this...

tall, tan, handsome,
Maserati‐drivin' prick.

‐ You know, Keith, one of those bombs
when off 50 yards from my son.

You tell your clients that.

‐ Yeah, right. That's right.

The volleyball match.
Veronica was there.

‐ Yep.
KEITH: I'll tell them that.

[ sighs ] This job...

sometimes I feel like
I'm prostituting myself.

But that should get 'em off this tangent.

Gentlemen, thanks for your time.

‐ Hey, uh, Clyde here tells me
you've been seeing

some of our favorite doctors.
Any news?

‐ Another week or two,
I should hear.

And truly, thank you for that.

You need anything, I'm your guy.

Oh, uh... did ya hear?

Pizza guy is telling people
he found a duck in his bed.

‐ [ laughs ]
‐ Seems the type.

‐ Maybe he had it comin'.

[ door opens, closes ]

‐ You just connected us
to the shell companies.

Maybe you don't understand the concept‐‐
‐ He knew, Dick.

He knew. That's why he asked.

He just wanted to see
if you were gonna lie about it.

‐ What'd you do with him, Veronica?
Where is he?!

‐ Are you asking, "Where in the world
is cabron Juan Diego?"

‐ You're not funny.

‐ Weren't you worried about him
going to prison and getting shot?

He's safe now. You're welcome.

‐ He's his family's main earner.

His mom's been on my ass
about lost income

ever since he disappeared.

‐ She sounds like a lovely woman.

‐ We can't all be like you.

Practically perfect in every way.

‐ Sure you can. It's easy.

First, stop working on behalf
of the richest asshole in Neptune

in a plot to drive you and your people
out of town.

Sorry, does the truth hurt?

You need a spoonful of sugar
to make that medicine go down?

‐ I wake up every day...

tryin' to figure out a way
to take care of my people.

But you? You've got degrees

from Stanford and Columbia

that you don't even use.

You'd rather stay in this town
that you say you hate,

tasing teenagers
and makin' 'em wet their pants.

‐ You had a wife and a daughter
and a legit business,

and you pissed it all away.

‐ I got shot, Veronica.

Some rich white lady shot me

and I got arrested!

‐ Yeah, that was shitty.

And I was there for you.

And so was my dad and so was Cliff.

But you were weak.

Just go. Get outta here.
Go be a low‐level hood.

But know this:
that is how I'm gonna treat you.

And when you are run out of this town,
don't forget, I told you so.

‐ Okay, Veronica.

[ knocking ]

‐ Is this a bad time, or...?

‐ Go ahead. She's all yours.

‐ [ clears throat ]
I'm s‐surprised you're here.

I didn't see your car outside.

‐ Uh, Logan's using it.
What‐‐ What do you‐‐

‐ I was checking in,
seeing if you followed up

on that thing that I told you?

‐ My dad hit Big Dick and Clyde
with the "prostitute yourself" clue,

and neither of them flinched.

‐ Just means they were ready for it.

‐ We're pretty certain
they were responsible for the duck,

but it's possible said duck
is just retribution

for standing up at a City Council meeting
and calling 'em murderers.

‐ I suppose.

But what can we do to help?

I mean, we have a stake in this now.

‐ A five percent stake.
‐ Well, that's a lot of pizza deliveries.

‐ How are Murderheads
at deep background checks?

‐ Deep background is where we excel.

‐ Okay. You know
the Hearst fraternity Pi Sigma?

‐ Yeah, but, ya know, Cho's Pizza
doesn't really deliver there anymore.

Lot of issues over the years.

‐ All right. One of 'em died
at a beach party three springs breaks ago.

I visited the three buddies
who were with him that night,

and they all clammed up.

‐ Uh, what's the connection
to the spring break bomber?

‐ I don't know. [ sighs ]
But they're guilty of something.

Find out everything you can
about these three guys.

‐ Consider it done.

‐ [ low chatter ]

‐ You're kidding, right?

I break a shitload of government regs,
risk a court‐martial,

for... milkshake money?

‐ Re‐gifted milkshake money at that.

‐ Hm.
‐ But I figured saving you

from certain death in that firefight
in Mukalla was also worth something.

‐ Hm.

Name and address of your hacker.

‐ Thanks for this, man.
Enjoy those shakes...

INTELLIGENCE OFFICER: Hm.
‐ ...and being alive.

‐ Dude's name popped up
on neo‐Nazi watch lists

and with the sorts
of pro‐gun organizations

that think the NRA
are a bunch of libtard pussies.

So, if you're gonna pay him a visit...
be packin'.

[ dogs barking ]

‐ Logan Echolls.
I'm with the Office of Naval Intelligence.

Are you Barton Netherfield?
‐ Yeah.

‐ We traced a suspicious IP address

to this‐‐
‐ Goddamnit!

Junior!

[ sighs ]

‐ So... how'd you pull it off?

‐ How'd I‐‐
‐ Congressman Maloof.

You neutered that Muslim cuck.
You beat us to the punch.

That's just what we needed,
a Manchurian Candidate

taking his orders from the mullahs,

infiltrating the highest levels
of our government. Am I right?

‐ Yes, sir.

‐ So then, tell me.
How'd you do it?

‐ Y‐You're gonna laugh.
‐ Hm.

‐ Three years ago my humanities class
took a trip to Suckramento

when Maloof was a state senator.

Dumb‐ass had a sticky note
on his computer with the password.

You know what Maloof's into, right?

He's a submissive.
‐ Hm.

‐ Th‐These girls make him grovel
before they'll even, like,

take off a glove.

"Please, please, please!"

H‐He doesn't get to touch himself
until some 20‐year‐old Ukrainian girl

gives him permission.

Pathetic, right?

So, ever since I got recordings
of Maloof jerking it,

I've owned him.

‐ Yes, I'm gonna pass on that five,
but while we're on the topic of numbers,

how do you feel about ten years in prison,
Junior?

‐ What?

‐ I need you to erase
every recording you have,

every piece of code linked to Maloof.

Then you're gonna send him an email
saying you found Jesus,

you've seen the light
and changed your errant ways, hallelujah.

And I swear...

if you ever contact Maloof again
for any reason,

if he gets so much as
a two‐star Yelp review,

I will drag you down to Guantanamo.

‐ You think Maloof's clean?

Then why'd he transfer a ton of Bitcoin
into the accounts of these two?

I did some digging.

They're killers for a Mexican drug cartel.

‐ You were gone when I got up.

‐ I went for a run.

‐ You wanna talk about
the other night?

‐ [ sighs ] Nope.

‐ Okay. So, I learned something today.

‐ Finnish is derived from Russian?

No. Dogs have 42 teeth.

‐ Your client, my employer,

paid two cartel hitmen
a little over $100,000 in Bitcoin.

‐ What?!
‐ I visited Maloof's blackmailer.

He's a 17‐year‐old white nationalist
living outside of Bakersfield.

He just explained to me at great length

that cryptocurrency is, in fact,
traceable.

These are the guys.

‐ I saw this guy.

In the parking lot
of Weevil's body shop.

‐ So what does it all mean?

‐ No idea.

Oh. Vinnie said something
about Maloof hiring him

to find a couple of Mexican guys.

But why hitmen?
And why the money?

Ya done good, kid.

You might have a future in this racket.
LOGAN: Hm.

‐ I definitely owe you one.
‐ I'd like to cash in now.

How 'bout...

you and me...

‐ I'm liking it so far.

LOGAN: Picture this. The two of us...
VERONICA: Mm‐hm.

‐ ...gettin' busy...

getting in touch with our feelings?

‐ You're talking about couples therapy.

[ sighs ] Sorry.

I mean, "Hangin' with Jane."

‐ Hey.
May I join you in the cool kids room?

‐ I gotta get to work.
VERONICA: Okay.

LOGAN: See ya, Keith.
‐ Yeah.

Something wrong?

‐ Nothin' a strip club can't fix.

‐ Excuse me?

‐ What? You're always saying
we don't do enough father‐daughter stuff.

DANIEL: I'm standing at the urinal,

and the guy three stalls down screams!

I rush over to help...

and it's goddamn Paul Ryan.

[ laughing ] He was in a hurry
to get back for a vote...

‐ Probably to kill health care.

‐ ...and he'd zipped too fast.

‐ There's Something About Mary‐ style?

DANIEL: Yes. Indeed.

And that's how I got him
to bring my farm bill to the floor.

[ phone chimes ]

ALEX: Wait a minute.
Did you help him unzip?

‐ Excuse me.

This is Logan.

Yes, sir. Mogadishu?

‐ Yes, sir. Thank you.

I'm sorry for how abrupt this is,
but I've been called back to active duty.

I need to leave immediately.

‐ How long will you be gone?
LOGAN: I never know.

But I'll make some calls in
to my security contacts before I deploy,

get the ball rollin' on my replacement.

‐ That's a tough life, man.
Yanked away without warning?

‐ Tough part is tellin' my girlfriend.

‐ Thank you for everything, Logan.

‐ Yeah.

‐ Hey. Hang loose, bro.

‐ That's gonna get old, Alex.

‐ Someday.

‐ Mrs. Maloof. It's been a pleasure.

‐ Hm.

[ door closes ]
‐ What?

[ line out ringing]

‐ So you wanna know where to find
Los Desperados,

dos hombres peligrosos‐‐

[ phone ringing ]

Ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah‐ah, Veronica.

Sin telefono. No, no, no, no.

Put it down.

Los misteriosos mexicanos,
los chicos del sur‐‐

I have a question for you, though.
I have one question.

‐ ¿Donde está la biblioteca?

‐ Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
What's in it for me?

‐ We'll rescind our ethics complaint

filed with the California Board
of Security and Investigative Services.

‐ Keith, I didn't even know
you were here. Hi.

I have not heard about
such a complaint.

‐ Yet.

VERONICA:
How about this.

We won't explain to Mrs. Maloof

that she is paying the highest rate

that any human being
has ever paid for investigative services.

Vinnie, where are the two Mexican guys
you found for the Maloofs?

‐ Well, you drive a hard bargain,
Hot Mars.

‐ Let's say Maloof's
teenage blackmailer is right

and Maloof did pay these two killers.

‐ Okay.
‐ What does that mean?

‐ Well, if these guys arrived in Neptune
before the Sea Sprite explosion,

it means one thing...

‐ That our congressman client
paid them to kill

his little brother's assumed
gold‐digging fiancée Tawny Carr...

and pizza guy's a genius.

‐ That's what I thought at first,

but these guys work for a cartel boss
who lost his nephew in the bombing.

That's too much of a coincidence.

‐ So rival cartel wants to send enemy
a message,

hires these guys to kill
El Despiadado's loved one?

‐ A nephew by marriage?

I guess they didn't want to send
a very strong message.

‐ What if they came up
after the Sea Sprite bombing?

‐ Then they're supposed
to kill the bomber.

They think it's Maloof.

‐ Maloof buys them off? Possible.

We'll know more
when we drop by their hotel room tomorrow.

[ engine starts ]

[ loud clanking ]

‐ Unh!

‐ Logan, I'm home!

I'm back from a strip club!

Never touch me again!
Men disgust me.

LOGAN [ voicemail ]:
Hey, I got called in.

‐ Shit.

LOGAN: So I know things have been weird
since I asked you to marry me.

‐ [ sighs ]

LOGAN: Confession: It wasn't so much
that I loved you

and wanted to spend
the rest of my life with you,

it's just that your dad promised me
his milking goat,

two bolts of Spanish silk,

and .1 acre
on the alley side of his estate.

No man could walk away from that.

Dowry or no dowry,
I still want to marry you.

Give it some thought while I'm away
and I'll Skype you as soon as I'm able.

I love you. Bye.

‐ Mm.

Hey.

[ kisses ]

‐ [ indistinct chatter ]

[ camera clicks ]

KEITH:
Excuse me.

I'm sorry to bother you,

but I'd like to see
the seashell exhibit this afternoon.

Can you point me in the right direction?

‐ Shit.

‐ I can tell you how to get there by bus,
but‐‐ but I don't drive.

They can help you in the office, though.

Good luck.

[ keys jingle ]

‐ Umm...

moahhhhhh!

Ahhhh. [ gasps ]
CLAUDIA: Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, are you‐‐ are you okay?

‐ Help! Help!
CLAUDIA: I'm calling 9-1-1.

There's a man having a heart attack
at the Happy Nite Lodge.

‐ [ 911 operator, indistinct ]
‐ [ groans ]

‐ The Happy Nite Lodge. Yes.
OPERATOR Happy Nite Lodge?

KEITH: Uhh. Ohhh!
‐ Um, yes.

KEITH: Ohhh! Oh, my God!
CLAUDIA: Yes, that's right.

‐ Hey. Are you okay? Hey!

Old man! Look at me!
CLAUDIA: What? Yes!

KEITH:
I'm fine.

It's ju‐‐ Yahh.

Wooh! It's just a dizzy spell.

Just a dizzy spell.

‐ Never mind.

[ Keith grunting ]

‐ I'll help him back to his room.

Sure hope you're not on the second floor.

Is there someone in your room
who can take care of you?

KEITH:
My daughter is usually pretty helpful.

CLAUDIA: Shit!
[ game playing on TV ]

‐ What happened?

Your Mexican boyfriend
tell you he's married?

‐ Why you two such pigs?

Clean up after yourselves!

‐ You'd think I was livin'
under her roof, huh?

‐ I got fired, asshole!

‐ What?! You been there
for two years!

‐ He fired Estella too,
and she's been there a lot longer.

‐ Why?

‐ There's no customers anymore.
Not with all the bombings.

Same thing all over town.

No one's hiring.
Everyone's letting people go.

WEEVIL: Okay, okay,
don't worry. Listen.

I'm makin' plenty of money right now.

I can take care of the family.
It's gonna be okay.

‐ What about Estella?
‐ Estella ain't family.

‐ Why don't you hire me at your shop?

‐ No. No way.

Look, it's like you said.

Everything ain't strictly legal.
It's not gonna work.

‐ I need the money, Eli.
‐ No. No.

‐ I'm too old to have you
supporting me.

[ knock on door ]

[ door opens ]

‐ Come in!

Oh. Alonzo.

HECTOR:
Yo, what's up, man.

‐ Beer?
‐ Yeah, sure.

‐ Claudia? Two beers. Please.

‐ Yeah, I saw Eli's blonde crush
at the motel today.

‐ The‐‐ Wh‐‐ Wh‐What blonde crush?

‐ Veronica Mars.

‐ Oh. Oh, yeah, that's‐‐
that's my crush.

Just love her to death.
[ chuckles ]

What was she doin' at the Happy Nite?

‐ Pretty sure she was snooping around
Alonzo's room.

‐ Who was in my room?

‐ Cute blonde private eye.
You saw her at Weevil's shop.

‐ You sure? Or you're pretty sure?

CLAUDIA:
I‐I'm not positive.

Some gimpy old bald guy collapsed nearby,
and I was tryin' to help him, and‐‐

‐ Old bald guy with a limp?

‐ [ laughs ] Yeah.
‐ That was her dad.

She was definitely in your room, man.

ALONZO: Hm?
‐ [ Hector cackling ]

‐ What are you gonna do?

‐ I'm gonna pay her a visit at some point.

See what she wants.

VERONICA:
I don't know what it says about me

that after I found out
Logan was gone again

for some undisclosed period of time,

the person I wanted to see,
share my frustration with,

was the same person I was spying on,

trying to determine
whether she was a murderer.

‐ Tequila should do the trick.

So...

...you have no idea
when you'll see him again?

‐ Last time it was six weeks.

Sometimes it's a couple days.
You never know.

‐ Hm.
‐ Hm.

‐ His therapist, Jane,

told him this story
about elephants in Mozambique

who have evolved without tusks
so that poachers don't hunt them.

‐ Symbolic of...?

‐ Some shit about relationships
having to evolve

to eliminate the destructive gene
in their DNA.

‐ So what's the destructive gene
in your relationship?

‐ I think it might be me.

I think I'm the tusk.

No. I'm the poacher.

No. No, the tusk.

‐ Oh, yeah, you're the tusk.

And I say that as someone
who's been gored.

‐ Leo!

Fancy finding you at Comrade Quacks.

I didn't know you tried
to pick up drunken college girls

when you got off duty.

‐ Y'know, it's just been so long
since I've had a hobby,

but now let's just say that I know
all the names of the raunchy drinks.

Barkeep!
BARTENDER: Yeah?

‐ Let's get a Bend Over Shirley,
a Sex On My Face,

and I will have a Cocksucking Cowboy.

And make 'em doubles,
because we came to play.

BARTENDER: You got it.
‐ Hello, Leo.

‐ Hello.
‐ You two know each other?

‐ Oh, yeah, we go way back.

He interviewed me
about the bomb in my toilet.

‐ Yeah, I really got her to open up.

I know things about that toilet bomb
that no one on this planet has heard.

‐ Yeah, your boy's good.

We're drinking.
Veronica's man ghosted her.

‐ He didn't‐‐ H‐He didn't ghost me,
he just‐‐

‐ Y'know, I‐I‐I‐I don't care, okay?

I'm not Perez Hilton.
I'm a federal agent.

Now tell me everything you found out
about that tent fire

and Chattanooga Charlie's explosion.

‐ I knew it. You left out
those folders for me to find

so I'd do free legwork for you?

‐ I prefer to think of it
as you doing your patriotic duty.

‐ Wait a minute.
How did you know I was here?

‐ Happy accident.

I just come here for the buffalo wings
and funnel drinks.

‐ You planted a tracker on my car?

‐ All right.

The funnel drinks and the buffalo wings,
those were accidental.

The tracker was on purpose,
and I put it in your bag.

BARTENDER: Here are your drinks.
‐ Okay, here we go. Drink time.

NICOLE: Ah. Yeah.
‐ There you go. Let's do it.

Okay.

NICOLE: Mm!
‐ Ladies... to booze.

‐ To booze.

‐ To booze.
‐ To booze.

[ up‐tempo rock music playing ]

‐ Excuse me. Sorry.

VERONICA: Oh, wow. Wow.
‐ My bad.

SINGER:
♪ You've just got to be strong ♪

♪ Just stop,
'cause I really love you ♪

♪ Stop, I'll be thinkin'... ♪

‐ I cheers to that. Yeah.
‐ [ all laughing ]

SINGER:
♪ And let love keep us together ♪

‐ [ laughing ]

SINGER:
♪ Like it really rough guy ♪

♪ Just can't get enough guy ♪

♪ Chest always so puffed guy ♪

♪ I'm that bad type ♪

♪ Make your mama sad type ♪

♪ Make your girlfriend mad type ♪

♪ Might seduce your dad type ♪

♪ I'm the bad guy ♪

‐ [ laughing ] So then Walter tosses
the ringer out of the car

and makes the Dude take the wheel,

and then he rolls out of the car‐‐
‐ With an Uzi.

‐ Yeah! Well, they're being chased
by nihilists on motorcycles.

‐ I don't believe this is a real movie.

‐ The Big Lebowski?

‐ No, I believe The Big Lebowski's
a real movie,

I mean, I've seen posters and everything,
but I just don't believe you've seen it.

I think you ate some magic mushrooms...
‐ Okay. I am...

appalled that you haven't seen
The Big Lebowski.

And please don't take this personally,
but... you're dead to me.

‐ Wouldn't be the first time.

‐ I can't remember the last time
a boy walked me home.

‐ Oh, we are a full‐service FBI.
‐ [ laughs]

‐ If you have any ironing you need done...

take this in,
zee collar is flippity‐flap.

I was tryin' to do a German accent.
VERONICA: Was that it?

[ clatter ]

[ clatter continues ]

[ cocks pistol ]

‐ Aaah! Jesus Christ!
What the hell!

VERONICA: Matty.

[ exhales ]
Matty, this is Leo.

Leo, this is Matty, my protégée.

‐ Hey!

‐ Okay, so... don't shoot her?

[ uncocks pistol ]

Good. The paperwork would
take all night. Uh, I'm gonna hit it.

‐ You got me home safe.

Wear that merit badge with pride.
‐ Okay.

[ door closes ]

‐ So have I met all your boyfriends now,
or are there more?

‐ I thought you declined
my invitation for lodging.

‐ I guess you still have to pay
the electricity bills

even if you're the orphaned teenaged owner

of a recently bombed two‐star motel.

‐ They cut your power?

‐ Yep.

‐ Feel like singing a little Motown
into that spatula?

‐ No.

‐ Me neither. I'm gonna go to bed.

Couch is yours.

There are blankets in the closet.

‐ Never have children!

[ hands clap ]

‐ Come on, Alex. We can get
a quick workout in before lunch.

‐ This is all the exercise I need.

[ knocking on door ]

‐ Yes?
MAN: Mr. Maloof.

My name is Clarence Wiedman.

Logan Echolls left word
you needed a new bodyguard?

DANIEL: I appreciate you coming,
Mr. Wiedman.

‐ Mm‐hm.
‐ But truth is, I don't need a bodyguard.

The threat has been, uh‐‐
‐ Eliminated?

‐ I wouldn't put it that way,
but we do seem to be out of danger.

‐ I'm glad to hear it, Congressman.

‐ And please send a bill for your time
to my office.

WIEDMAN: That won't be necessary.
‐ Oh, I insist, I insist.

‐ Look here.

It's your lucky day, Congressman.
You get to meet Allah.

‐ Daniel! Daniel! Oh!

[ Amalia whimpering ]

WIEDMAN:
GSW. Possible pneumothorax.

Neptune Grand, eighth floor.
‐ [ Daniel muttering ]

‐ [ sobbing ]
ALEX: Daniel. Daniel.

AMALIA: Daniel...

[ music playing ]