All language subtitles for mike.and.molly.s02e01.720p.hdtv.x264

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,114 --> 00:00:02,015 I'm going out with Molly. 2 00:00:02,117 --> 00:00:04,083 Really? Why am I just hearing about this? 3 00:00:04,085 --> 00:00:05,518 Oh, I'm sorry. Haven't you 4 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,169 been following my Facebook page? 5 00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:10,129 - I live alone. - Mhmm. 6 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,999 I like to spend time with my friends. 7 00:00:12,001 --> 00:00:13,168 Just a sec. 8 00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:15,336 Ow! 9 00:00:15,338 --> 00:00:16,671 Sorry. 10 00:00:16,673 --> 00:00:18,890 This nose hair was driving me crazy! 11 00:00:18,892 --> 00:00:21,226 She yanked a hair out of my nose, 12 00:00:21,228 --> 00:00:22,760 started a fight with the waiter, 13 00:00:22,762 --> 00:00:24,846 and then passed out on the crapper. 14 00:00:24,848 --> 00:00:28,049 I'm sorry. I guess you're never gonna see her again. 15 00:00:28,051 --> 00:00:30,602 Are you kidding? 16 00:00:30,604 --> 00:00:32,570 I'm gonna marry that girl. 17 00:00:32,572 --> 00:00:35,273 Oh, this is Molly; She's a friend of mine. 18 00:00:38,661 --> 00:00:40,662 Hi. I'm Molly... 19 00:00:40,664 --> 00:00:42,363 Mike's friend. 20 00:00:42,365 --> 00:00:44,499 I was hoping to lose a little weight first, 21 00:00:44,501 --> 00:00:46,167 so you'd be turned on by me. 22 00:00:46,169 --> 00:00:47,785 How much weight are you talking about? 23 00:00:47,787 --> 00:00:50,588 I don't know, 160 pounds. 24 00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:52,406 I don't know if you've noticed this, 25 00:00:52,408 --> 00:00:54,058 but I'm not exactly perfect. 26 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:55,710 You are to me. 27 00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:58,463 Would you come inside and tell me what you're so upset about? 28 00:00:58,465 --> 00:01:01,082 Oh, you'd love for me to come inside, wouldn't you? 29 00:01:01,084 --> 00:01:03,935 Maybe hang my coat up in your closet full of skeletons! 30 00:01:03,937 --> 00:01:05,419 So you met Kyle. Look, I'm sorry 31 00:01:05,421 --> 00:01:06,921 I didn't tell you about him, 32 00:01:06,923 --> 00:01:08,422 but it was a long time ago. 33 00:01:08,424 --> 00:01:10,441 You were going to stand at an altar 34 00:01:10,443 --> 00:01:12,310 and promised to be with him forever. 35 00:01:12,312 --> 00:01:15,263 I can't even get you to join Costco with me! 36 00:01:16,282 --> 00:01:17,565 Mike, I can't accept this. Why not? 37 00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:18,700 It's our first Christmas, 38 00:01:18,702 --> 00:01:20,034 and I wanted to give you something special. 39 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,603 Absolutely not. This is way too expensive. 40 00:01:22,605 --> 00:01:24,155 I don't care. I want you to have it. 41 00:01:24,157 --> 00:01:25,106 But I don't want it. 42 00:01:25,108 --> 00:01:26,107 Yes, you do. No, I don't. 43 00:01:26,109 --> 00:01:27,125 Hey, I love you, 44 00:01:27,127 --> 00:01:28,643 and you can't put a price on love! 45 00:01:28,645 --> 00:01:30,828 Wait a second. 46 00:01:32,164 --> 00:01:34,082 You love me? 47 00:01:34,084 --> 00:01:35,449 Absolutely. We got a good thing here. 48 00:01:35,451 --> 00:01:37,451 We don't need to ruin it by talking about marriage. 49 00:01:37,453 --> 00:01:39,804 Well, I don't think we'd ruin it. 50 00:01:39,806 --> 00:01:41,189 I love you, Molly. 51 00:01:41,191 --> 00:01:42,590 I also want you to know 52 00:01:42,592 --> 00:01:44,792 that I'm really happy with what we've got. 53 00:01:44,794 --> 00:01:48,129 Absolutely, and there's no reason to rush into anything 54 00:01:48,131 --> 00:01:50,398 until we're both sure we're ready. 55 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,066 It would appear I'm ready. 56 00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:55,653 Shut up. Shut up! 57 00:01:56,488 --> 00:01:58,990 Whew. Really? 58 00:01:58,992 --> 00:02:02,927 Molly Flynn, will you marry me? 59 00:02:07,833 --> 00:02:09,167 Is that a yes? 60 00:02:09,169 --> 00:02:11,419 Ye-yes. 61 00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:16,341 I can't believe it's actually mine. 62 00:02:16,343 --> 00:02:18,259 That's because it's not. 63 00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:22,997 But it will be after 48 easy monthly payments. 64 00:02:22,999 --> 00:02:26,351 It might have been cheaper to buy you an engagement car. 65 00:02:27,019 --> 00:02:28,720 I love you, Mike. 66 00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:30,555 I love you, Mrs. Biggs. 67 00:02:30,557 --> 00:02:32,840 Oh, that's sweet. 68 00:02:32,842 --> 00:02:34,809 But about that... 69 00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:38,363 Would you be terribly hurt if I didn't take your last name? 70 00:02:38,365 --> 00:02:40,281 What? I just think it's better 71 00:02:40,283 --> 00:02:43,234 for me professionally to keep my last name. 72 00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:44,685 Professionally? You're a teacher. 73 00:02:44,687 --> 00:02:45,820 Just go to the chalkboard, 74 00:02:45,822 --> 00:02:48,122 erase "Ms. Flynn" and write "Mrs. Biggs." 75 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,424 Really? 76 00:02:49,426 --> 00:02:51,826 I'm rubenesque, I teach fourth graders, 77 00:02:51,828 --> 00:02:54,796 you want me to go in there with the last name "Biggs"? 78 00:02:54,798 --> 00:02:57,582 Yeah, fourth graders are a pretty hateful bunch. 79 00:02:57,584 --> 00:03:00,802 I remember how much we tortured poor old "Mr. Jahboner." 80 00:03:00,804 --> 00:03:02,837 "Jahboner"? 81 00:03:02,839 --> 00:03:04,555 You gotta be kidding me. 82 00:03:04,557 --> 00:03:06,874 Nope. And he taught wood shop. 83 00:03:06,876 --> 00:03:11,179 Well, you live by the sword, you die by the sword. 84 00:03:14,383 --> 00:03:16,818 So you're okay with me keeping my name? 85 00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:18,052 Yeah, that's fine. 86 00:03:18,054 --> 00:03:20,388 Mrs. Biggs reminds me of my mother anyway, 87 00:03:20,390 --> 00:03:22,357 and that's a real jahboner killer. 88 00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:24,909 Thank you. 89 00:03:25,994 --> 00:03:30,031 So, are we thinking about a church wedding or...? 90 00:03:30,033 --> 00:03:31,165 Actually, I was thinking: 91 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,734 Does your bra unhook in the front or the back? 92 00:03:36,071 --> 00:03:37,405 On the other hand, 93 00:03:37,407 --> 00:03:39,757 having an outdoor ceremony could be really beautiful. 94 00:03:39,759 --> 00:03:41,242 Maybe Lincoln park. 95 00:03:41,244 --> 00:03:44,412 Spring time, the flowers are gorgeous. 96 00:03:44,414 --> 00:03:46,047 Sure. 97 00:03:46,049 --> 00:03:47,014 So, it's settled. 98 00:03:47,016 --> 00:03:48,383 Spring time, Lincoln park. 99 00:03:48,385 --> 00:03:49,467 Great. 100 00:03:49,469 --> 00:03:51,436 Ah... 101 00:03:53,255 --> 00:03:56,974 But if we want to have an indoor reception, we've got to 102 00:03:56,976 --> 00:04:00,261 you know, set up a banquet hall at least a year in advance. 103 00:04:00,263 --> 00:04:02,397 Great, then we got plenty of time. 104 00:04:02,399 --> 00:04:06,234 Okay... then we're talking a year from now? 105 00:04:06,236 --> 00:04:09,370 Yeah. We'll start ironing out the details a year from now. 106 00:04:09,372 --> 00:04:10,621 No, wait, wait, wait, wait. 107 00:04:10,623 --> 00:04:12,039 Roll up your tongue. 108 00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:17,044 Are you... are you saying that we're not gonna get married 109 00:04:17,046 --> 00:04:18,446 for at least two years? 110 00:04:18,448 --> 00:04:19,947 No, I'm not saying that. 111 00:04:19,949 --> 00:04:21,382 What are you saying? 112 00:04:21,384 --> 00:04:24,085 I'm trying not to say anything. 113 00:04:24,087 --> 00:04:25,386 Look, the important thing is, 114 00:04:25,388 --> 00:04:27,088 you have a ring on your finger that says, 115 00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:29,424 "I'm marrying the man of my dreams." 116 00:04:29,426 --> 00:04:31,692 And the bra is off! 117 00:04:31,694 --> 00:04:33,678 See, I told you you could do it. 118 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,981 I don't have to switch to velcro. 119 00:04:36,983 --> 00:04:41,819 * For the first time in my life * 120 00:04:41,821 --> 00:04:45,189 * I see love. * 121 00:04:45,214 --> 00:04:48,314 Sync and corrections by GeirDM for www.addic7ed.com 122 00:04:56,571 --> 00:04:58,638 That was a nice shindig last night. 123 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,807 Yeah. I can't believe my little girl's getting married. 124 00:05:01,809 --> 00:05:04,927 Me, too. I thought she was a lesbian when I first met her. 125 00:05:05,762 --> 00:05:06,712 Morning. 126 00:05:06,714 --> 00:05:08,080 Morning, buttercup. 127 00:05:08,082 --> 00:05:11,150 Where's your bigger half? 128 00:05:11,152 --> 00:05:13,286 He left for work. 129 00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:16,906 So, how was your first night as an engaged woman? 130 00:05:16,908 --> 00:05:18,875 Hmm? It's different now, right? 131 00:05:18,877 --> 00:05:20,877 I know when Vince proposed to me, 132 00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:23,946 we connected on a whole new level. 133 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:27,133 That was a God-given stiffy that night, too. 134 00:05:27,135 --> 00:05:30,753 No pills. Just pure adrenaline. 135 00:05:30,755 --> 00:05:34,173 You get that she's my mother, right? 136 00:05:34,175 --> 00:05:35,808 Which reminds me, 137 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:38,177 if you need someone to walk you down the aisle, 138 00:05:38,179 --> 00:05:39,628 I would be honored. 139 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:43,149 No, 'tis I, the lesbian, that would be honored. 140 00:05:45,269 --> 00:05:48,487 I told you your voice carries. 141 00:05:48,489 --> 00:05:50,306 When Mike and I set a date, 142 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,658 I will definitely consider your offer. 143 00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:54,193 Try to avoid the summer. 144 00:05:54,195 --> 00:05:56,712 We Morantos are a sweaty people, 145 00:05:56,714 --> 00:05:59,481 and I don't want my hair paint to run. 146 00:06:00,884 --> 00:06:03,002 Yeah, and for me, try to avoid the winter months. 147 00:06:03,004 --> 00:06:04,787 When my little girl gets married, 148 00:06:04,789 --> 00:06:09,825 I want to wear something low- cut, show off my "bouncy cs." 149 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:12,511 Like a mother does. 150 00:06:12,513 --> 00:06:15,181 We're not even talking specifics yet. 151 00:06:15,183 --> 00:06:17,166 Don't let him drag the engagement out. 152 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,802 Guys will take a free meal as long as they can get it. 153 00:06:19,804 --> 00:06:22,188 And by "free meal," I mean copulation. 154 00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:26,125 It's gonna be a long walk down that aisle. 155 00:06:31,431 --> 00:06:32,681 Man, I can't get over it. 156 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,951 My best friend is getting married. Yep. 157 00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:36,953 Wasn't but a year ago, you were whining and crying 158 00:06:36,955 --> 00:06:38,821 about how lonely you were. Yep. 159 00:06:38,823 --> 00:06:40,973 Sitting in your sad, little apartment all weekend, 160 00:06:40,975 --> 00:06:43,709 one hand down a bag of Doritos, the other one down your pants. 161 00:06:43,711 --> 00:06:47,380 Yeah, well, those were some dark days. Dark? 162 00:06:47,382 --> 00:06:48,831 You, sir, are an inspiration 163 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:51,700 to overweight masturbators everywhere. 164 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,702 You know what, why don't you save the rest 165 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,004 for your best man speech. 166 00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:57,423 So it's official, I'm your best man? 167 00:06:57,425 --> 00:07:00,426 And that is the real tragedy of my life. 168 00:07:02,263 --> 00:07:03,562 I'm honored. 169 00:07:03,564 --> 00:07:05,097 So, is it safe to assume 170 00:07:05,099 --> 00:07:06,766 that you won't be goin' fishin' with us this weekend? 171 00:07:06,768 --> 00:07:07,633 Why wouldn't I go? 172 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,018 You're engaged now. 173 00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,436 You can't just be doing what you want 174 00:07:10,438 --> 00:07:12,154 and making your own decisions and stuff. 175 00:07:12,156 --> 00:07:15,224 Excuse me, but my life is still very much my own. 176 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,159 I can come and go as I please. 177 00:07:17,161 --> 00:07:18,911 Mike Flynn is his own man. 178 00:07:18,913 --> 00:07:19,912 Mike Flynn? 179 00:07:19,914 --> 00:07:21,247 Biggs, I said "Biggs." 180 00:07:21,249 --> 00:07:23,082 Everybody heard "Biggs." Shut up. 181 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:26,085 Sounded like "Flynn" from over here. 182 00:07:26,087 --> 00:07:28,904 It's a slip of the tongue. 183 00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,339 The point is, I'm goin' fishin'. 184 00:07:30,341 --> 00:07:31,507 Hey, Samuel, you want to come? 185 00:07:31,509 --> 00:07:33,075 We got a big tent and plenty of sleeping bags. 186 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,576 Thank you, but that's the same pitch 187 00:07:34,578 --> 00:07:37,579 they used to get me into a refugee camp in Africa. 188 00:07:38,598 --> 00:07:39,932 Come on, you have a few beers, 189 00:07:39,934 --> 00:07:42,101 tell some stories, you know, bond as men. 190 00:07:42,103 --> 00:07:43,419 That's the same pitch they used 191 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,272 to get me to the gay tent in the refugee camp. 192 00:07:47,674 --> 00:07:50,609 Fool me once. 193 00:07:52,595 --> 00:07:54,864 All I'm saying is, if we're gonna have any shot 194 00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:57,199 at booking a nice place, we need to start looking now. 195 00:07:57,201 --> 00:07:58,100 Okay. 196 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,069 Wait. What are we looking for? 197 00:08:00,071 --> 00:08:03,823 A place to have our wedding. 198 00:08:03,825 --> 00:08:06,375 Sure. We're gonna need that. 199 00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:09,912 Yeah, otherwise we're gonna end up getting married 200 00:08:09,914 --> 00:08:11,213 in your mother's backyard 201 00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:12,998 and having the reception at the sizzler. 202 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,217 Sizzler? 203 00:08:15,219 --> 00:08:17,136 Is that a real option? 204 00:08:18,305 --> 00:08:20,339 Hey. 205 00:08:20,341 --> 00:08:22,925 Joyce, I'm downstairs! 206 00:08:22,927 --> 00:08:25,027 Be right there! Take your time! 207 00:08:25,029 --> 00:08:27,646 I'm gonna talk to the kids. 208 00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,014 Hey, lovebirds. 209 00:08:29,016 --> 00:08:30,766 How's things? 210 00:08:30,768 --> 00:08:32,301 Vince, I don't want to be rude, 211 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,303 but we're kind of in the middle of something. 212 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,472 I'm not here. 213 00:08:39,576 --> 00:08:42,328 So, can we at least decide on a time of year? 214 00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:43,645 Is this about the wedding? 215 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,015 Do you believe it? 216 00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:47,483 We've only been engaged for 24 hours. 217 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,368 She's already trying to fit me for a tux. 218 00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:51,820 He is gonna fluctuate size-wise. 219 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,839 You don't want him walking down the aisle 220 00:08:53,841 --> 00:08:55,775 looking like the hulk got mad. 221 00:08:57,527 --> 00:09:00,396 I'm just trying to narrow things down. 222 00:09:00,398 --> 00:09:01,981 I mean, if you want the good weather, 223 00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:04,333 there's only a handful of weekends to choose from. 224 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,719 She's right. And if she's gonna do all the planning, 225 00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:09,705 you can at least try to be a little accommodating. 226 00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:14,810 Thank you, Vince. 227 00:09:14,812 --> 00:09:16,812 Here to help. 228 00:09:16,814 --> 00:09:19,315 Maybe we can drive around this weekend 229 00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:21,901 and check out some places. 230 00:09:21,903 --> 00:09:23,185 Oh, I can't. 231 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,537 I'm goin' fishin' with the guys this weekend. 232 00:09:24,539 --> 00:09:26,155 This weekend? Oh. 233 00:09:26,157 --> 00:09:27,656 Why didn't you say something? 234 00:09:27,658 --> 00:09:29,959 Well, it's not like I need your permission, is it? 235 00:09:29,961 --> 00:09:33,946 No. I think you could've said something before now. 236 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,381 You invited me a week ago 237 00:09:35,383 --> 00:09:37,483 and have yet to tell your fiancée? 238 00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:41,470 That does not bode well, my friend. 239 00:09:43,006 --> 00:09:44,540 Vin, you ready to go? 240 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,675 Yes, he needs to go. 241 00:09:46,677 --> 00:09:49,378 Let me know when you figure out the details. 242 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,397 I can get you a deal on peel-and-eat shrimp 243 00:09:51,399 --> 00:09:53,999 and a swan that's trained to be a ring bearer. 244 00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:57,353 They can get swans to do that? 245 00:09:57,355 --> 00:09:59,438 Hey, you wire their beaks shut and drug 'em, 246 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,341 they are a very cooperative species. 247 00:10:03,627 --> 00:10:05,694 By the way, I'm goin' fishin' this weekend. 248 00:10:05,696 --> 00:10:06,829 What?! 249 00:10:06,831 --> 00:10:08,998 Why the hell am I just hearing about this now?! 250 00:10:18,758 --> 00:10:20,593 Mike. 251 00:10:20,595 --> 00:10:22,962 Mike. 252 00:10:25,265 --> 00:10:27,749 Get up and go fishin'. 253 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,258 Honey, not now. I'm sleeping. 254 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,760 Get up. 255 00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:39,862 What? 256 00:10:39,864 --> 00:10:42,147 Get out of here and go fishin'. 257 00:10:42,149 --> 00:10:45,534 Oh, right, fishin'. 258 00:10:45,536 --> 00:10:48,237 Honey, I put a brochure in your tackle box 259 00:10:48,239 --> 00:10:51,156 from a reception hall near lake Geneva. 260 00:10:51,158 --> 00:10:54,627 I thought maybe you could check it out when you go up there. 261 00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:58,714 Oh, geez, Molly, I'm not going to have time for that nonsense. 262 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,220 Talking about our wedding is nonsense? 263 00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:06,255 It is at 4:00 in the morning. 264 00:11:06,257 --> 00:11:07,840 I'm sorry. What's a good time for you? 265 00:11:07,842 --> 00:11:09,008 Hey, what do you want from me? 266 00:11:09,010 --> 00:11:10,593 I gave you a ring, told you I loved you. 267 00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:12,928 You just gave me a ring to shut me up? 268 00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:15,064 Well, if I did, it's clearly not working. 269 00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:17,099 Oh! Wait, that came out wrong. 270 00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:20,486 Anybody want a breakfast burrito? 271 00:11:20,488 --> 00:11:21,904 Sure. 272 00:11:21,906 --> 00:11:23,489 I could eat. 273 00:11:31,636 --> 00:11:33,437 You want to talk about it? 274 00:11:33,439 --> 00:11:35,306 There's nothing to talk about. 275 00:11:35,308 --> 00:11:37,107 All right. 276 00:11:37,109 --> 00:11:38,459 So you're just gonna pout all weekend? 277 00:11:38,461 --> 00:11:41,261 I'm not pouting. I'm quietly reflecting. 278 00:11:41,263 --> 00:11:44,899 The time to be quiet was about an hour ago. 279 00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:47,601 You guys heard us? 280 00:11:47,603 --> 00:11:49,069 Little bit, but between the dogs barking 281 00:11:49,071 --> 00:11:50,604 and your neighbors yelling "shut the hell up," 282 00:11:50,606 --> 00:11:52,072 it was hard to make out 283 00:11:52,074 --> 00:11:53,457 every stupid thing you said. 284 00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:55,108 Although "don't clip this eagle's wings" 285 00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:58,128 was particularly cringe-worthy. 286 00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:00,047 Can we just change the subject, please? 287 00:12:00,049 --> 00:12:03,000 Sure gladly. Absolutely. 288 00:12:05,387 --> 00:12:06,637 Carl. 289 00:12:06,639 --> 00:12:07,755 Yeah. 290 00:12:07,757 --> 00:12:10,224 I'm not having fun yet. 291 00:12:10,226 --> 00:12:12,676 Just give it a chance. Before you know it, 292 00:12:12,678 --> 00:12:13,928 there'll be more fun than you can handle. 293 00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:17,097 That's what they said in the gay tent. 294 00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:19,900 Can you at least explain why 295 00:12:19,902 --> 00:12:21,101 this adventure has to take place in 296 00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:22,186 the middle of the night? 297 00:12:22,188 --> 00:12:24,021 Simple. You want to get your hook in the water 298 00:12:24,023 --> 00:12:26,023 before the crack of dawn because the fish are still sleepy, 299 00:12:26,025 --> 00:12:27,324 and they'll put anything in their mouths. 300 00:12:27,326 --> 00:12:30,611 It's the same way with broads. 301 00:12:30,613 --> 00:12:33,163 How can fish sleep? They have no eyelids. 302 00:12:33,165 --> 00:12:35,115 You can sleep with your eyes open. 303 00:12:35,117 --> 00:12:36,000 He's right. 304 00:12:36,002 --> 00:12:37,835 My Uncle Pete slept that way. 305 00:12:37,837 --> 00:12:40,337 He was dead for two days before we even knew it. 306 00:12:40,339 --> 00:12:44,291 We thought he was just enjoying a Twilight Zone marathon. 307 00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:46,493 Speaking of dead, did anybody bring worms? 308 00:12:46,495 --> 00:12:48,762 Oh, my God, what have I done? 309 00:12:48,764 --> 00:12:51,882 Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! 310 00:12:53,935 --> 00:12:57,021 I'm sure they sell worms by the lake. 311 00:12:57,023 --> 00:13:00,007 Yeah, we should be fine. 312 00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:02,977 "Nonsense." He called planning our wedding "nonsense." 313 00:13:02,979 --> 00:13:05,863 Sweetie, I don't think those pancakes are part of your diet. 314 00:13:05,865 --> 00:13:07,531 Do you want to reach over here 315 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:10,117 and try and take them away from me? 316 00:13:13,655 --> 00:13:15,789 No, I do not. 317 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,993 Smart. 318 00:13:18,995 --> 00:13:21,045 Besides, this is my new diet. 319 00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:23,030 This is the "I'm mad at my boyfriend, 320 00:13:23,032 --> 00:13:25,332 and I'm punishing myself diet." 321 00:13:25,334 --> 00:13:27,084 Oh, that sounds a lot like your old 322 00:13:27,086 --> 00:13:28,702 "I just found out my boyfriend's gay, 323 00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:30,704 so I'm eating cake and hot dogs diet." 324 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:34,558 Same principle. 325 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,011 Molly, you just got engaged. 326 00:13:37,013 --> 00:13:39,413 Why are you pushing so hard on the wedding? 327 00:13:39,415 --> 00:13:40,631 I'm not pushing, I'm planning. 328 00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:41,799 And you know why? 329 00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:44,668 'Cause you're planner. Exactly 330 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,939 it's part of why I'm a good teacher. 331 00:13:48,941 --> 00:13:51,608 I mean, I walk in that room full of little monsters, 332 00:13:51,610 --> 00:13:53,226 and every day I have a plan. 333 00:13:53,228 --> 00:13:54,561 'Cause if I didn't, 334 00:13:54,563 --> 00:13:57,247 we'd be eating boogers and making fun of me all day long. 335 00:13:58,416 --> 00:13:59,900 Do we have any hot dogs? 336 00:13:59,902 --> 00:14:03,754 No. No hot dogs and no pancakes. 337 00:14:03,756 --> 00:14:05,756 You're not eating this stress away. 338 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,357 We're going to my yoga class. 339 00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:08,876 Like hell I am. 340 00:14:08,878 --> 00:14:11,095 Me in a leotard surrounded 341 00:14:11,097 --> 00:14:14,364 by skinny, bendy women? I'd rather kill us all. 342 00:14:14,366 --> 00:14:16,050 I'm scared. 343 00:14:16,052 --> 00:14:17,918 Make her a hot dog, mom. 344 00:14:21,139 --> 00:14:23,557 Okay, fine, you can either come with me 345 00:14:23,559 --> 00:14:26,193 and your sister or stay here and eat pancakes 346 00:14:26,195 --> 00:14:27,611 until you're left with no self-esteem 347 00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:29,262 and no elbows. 348 00:14:29,264 --> 00:14:31,264 Well? 349 00:14:31,266 --> 00:14:33,233 I'm thinking about it! 350 00:14:38,156 --> 00:14:40,124 Please tell me why we are here. 351 00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:44,778 When did our people ever have good experiences on boats? 352 00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:48,332 I'm not getting any kind of cell phone reception at all. 353 00:14:48,334 --> 00:14:50,000 That's 'cause we're in the middle of nowhere. 354 00:14:50,002 --> 00:14:52,786 There's nothing out here but bait shops and the ku klux klan. 355 00:14:55,006 --> 00:14:59,143 Just stay on the boat, you'll be fine. 356 00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:03,347 Hey, I got reception. 357 00:15:03,349 --> 00:15:05,015 You wanna call Molly on my phone? 358 00:15:05,017 --> 00:15:06,316 I'm not gonna call her, 359 00:15:06,318 --> 00:15:08,185 but she might be trying to call me to say she's sorry. 360 00:15:08,187 --> 00:15:12,139 Yeah, that sounds like Molly, apologetic and contrite. 361 00:15:12,141 --> 00:15:13,490 Wait, I'm getting bars. 362 00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:14,441 Five bars! 363 00:15:14,443 --> 00:15:15,976 No, three bars, two bars. 364 00:15:15,978 --> 00:15:17,444 Are we drifting? 365 00:15:17,446 --> 00:15:18,912 I just had five bars. 366 00:15:18,914 --> 00:15:20,447 Hey, wait, wait. Be careful. 367 00:15:26,121 --> 00:15:27,621 Thank you very much. 368 00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:30,290 Did I mention I can't swim? 369 00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:34,978 Glad I called shotgun. 370 00:15:38,332 --> 00:15:40,434 Take three deep breaths. 371 00:15:40,436 --> 00:15:43,637 Inhale through your nose. 372 00:15:43,639 --> 00:15:45,189 Exhale through your mouth. 373 00:15:47,509 --> 00:15:50,561 Inhale... 374 00:15:50,563 --> 00:15:51,812 And exhale. 375 00:15:53,566 --> 00:15:56,116 This place smells like feet and patchouli. 376 00:15:57,669 --> 00:16:00,821 Namaste. 377 00:16:00,823 --> 00:16:03,423 All right, ladies, let's all get back on our hand and knees 378 00:16:03,425 --> 00:16:06,627 and loosen up our spines by alternating between cat and cow. 379 00:16:06,629 --> 00:16:08,212 What the hell is he talking about? 380 00:16:08,214 --> 00:16:10,848 Just watch me and do what I do. 381 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,251 Meow. 382 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,338 Moo... 383 00:16:19,373 --> 00:16:21,258 Sweetie, you don't have to make animal sounds. 384 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:23,710 It helps me remember which is which. 385 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,514 I don't think Mike even wants to get married. 386 00:16:27,516 --> 00:16:29,149 Do you know what he said this morning? 387 00:16:29,151 --> 00:16:31,885 Everybody in the neighborhood knows what he said this morning. 388 00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:33,570 Just focus on your breathing. 389 00:16:33,572 --> 00:16:37,441 I'd love to, except every time I move, I'm re-chewing a pancake. 390 00:16:37,443 --> 00:16:39,943 Let's work on elongating our spine. 391 00:16:39,945 --> 00:16:41,195 In with the meow. 392 00:16:41,197 --> 00:16:45,065 Meow. 393 00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:46,366 Out with the moo. 394 00:16:46,368 --> 00:16:49,019 Moo... 395 00:16:50,588 --> 00:16:54,758 My phone number's written on my yoga mat. 396 00:16:56,294 --> 00:16:59,196 All right, ladies, let's push back into our downward dog. 397 00:17:05,186 --> 00:17:06,937 Oh! 398 00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:10,023 There's a lot of tension in your hips. 399 00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:14,745 Easy does it. Last guy I let back there had to buy me a ring. 400 00:17:16,764 --> 00:17:20,734 Ooh, this is one for the bachelorette party. 401 00:17:24,656 --> 00:17:27,241 You owe me $600 for these alligator shoes. 402 00:17:27,243 --> 00:17:29,726 If they were really alligator, they would've been waterproof. 403 00:17:30,945 --> 00:17:32,663 Well, look at me. 404 00:17:32,665 --> 00:17:34,164 I'm sitting around a fire, 405 00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:35,782 half-naked with nothing to eat. 406 00:17:35,784 --> 00:17:39,886 Oh, how far I've come. 407 00:17:39,888 --> 00:17:41,555 It's not my fault the sudden change 408 00:17:41,557 --> 00:17:43,223 in weight distribution sunk the boat. 409 00:17:43,225 --> 00:17:44,558 So, you're saying this is my fault? 410 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,143 Yeah, that's what we're all saying. 411 00:17:46,145 --> 00:17:48,011 Yeah, we all believe that. 412 00:17:48,013 --> 00:17:50,397 Look, I say we head home before we become butt buddies 413 00:17:50,399 --> 00:17:52,599 to a pack of toothless hillbillies. 414 00:17:52,601 --> 00:17:54,568 If that happens, 415 00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:56,937 I will never travel with you again. 416 00:17:56,939 --> 00:17:59,923 Don't worry, they usually go after the plump white ones. 417 00:18:02,945 --> 00:18:04,861 Oh, Joyce texted me a picture. 418 00:18:04,863 --> 00:18:08,498 This always puts a pole in the tent. 419 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:09,750 Whoa. 420 00:18:09,752 --> 00:18:11,318 Is this your fiancée? 421 00:18:12,987 --> 00:18:16,990 She'd better be hiking that guy a football. 422 00:18:16,992 --> 00:18:19,826 Uh-oh. I gotta go. 423 00:18:22,213 --> 00:18:24,264 We're leaving before we are eaten by bears? 424 00:18:24,266 --> 00:18:27,718 Oh, I'm bitterly disappointed. 425 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,854 Man, you're just a little bitch, aren't you? 426 00:18:35,778 --> 00:18:38,612 Oh, hey sweetie. Good, you're home. 427 00:18:38,614 --> 00:18:40,614 Of course I'm home. Where else would I be? 428 00:18:40,616 --> 00:18:42,866 Nowhere. Just happy to see you. 429 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,452 You're back kind of early. 430 00:18:45,454 --> 00:18:46,686 Is everything okay? 431 00:18:46,688 --> 00:18:49,506 Well, there was a little mishap with the vessel. 432 00:18:51,092 --> 00:18:52,793 Apparently, when you represent one-third 433 00:18:52,795 --> 00:18:56,480 of the ship's ballast, you should probably keep your seat. 434 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,500 You sunk a boat? 435 00:19:00,502 --> 00:19:03,720 Yeah, I sunk a boat. 436 00:19:05,873 --> 00:19:07,674 Sweetie, are you okay? 437 00:19:07,676 --> 00:19:10,060 I lost a good pair of briefs, and you might have 438 00:19:10,062 --> 00:19:11,395 to check me later for leeches. 439 00:19:11,397 --> 00:19:14,398 Well, I always do. 440 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,149 Oh, and on the way back, 441 00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:18,819 we stopped at that reception place near lake Geneva. 442 00:19:18,821 --> 00:19:20,203 Really? Yeah, and it was 443 00:19:20,205 --> 00:19:22,189 very nice, but I think we can do better 444 00:19:22,191 --> 00:19:23,907 if we take time and look around. 445 00:19:23,909 --> 00:19:26,159 You know, together. 446 00:19:26,161 --> 00:19:28,912 You're willing to make yourself available? 447 00:19:28,914 --> 00:19:31,281 Of course. It's important. 448 00:19:31,283 --> 00:19:32,732 It's our wedding. 449 00:19:32,734 --> 00:19:34,618 I'm surprised. 450 00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:37,120 You didn't seem in any big hurry. 451 00:19:37,122 --> 00:19:39,239 You really don't get me, do you? 452 00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:40,290 No. 453 00:19:40,292 --> 00:19:43,260 You're not an easy read. 454 00:19:43,262 --> 00:19:44,995 But if you're willing to wash 455 00:19:44,997 --> 00:19:47,798 the stink of lake water off ya, yeah, you might get me. 456 00:19:51,085 --> 00:19:53,603 Hey, I'm in here! 457 00:19:53,605 --> 00:19:55,005 I don't care! 458 00:19:55,007 --> 00:19:58,157 Sync and corrections by GeirDM for www.addic7ed.com 33126

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.