All language subtitles for The iceman cometh 1973

Make it fast.

Don't want the boys
to get wise.

Jees!

Ain't the old bastard a riot when he starts
that bull about "turnin' over a new leaf"?

"Not a damn drink
on the house," he tells me,

"and all these bums have gotta pay up their
room rent beginning tomorrow," he says.

I'm glad to pay up...

tomorrow.

And I know my fellow inmates
will promise the same.

They've all a touching credulity
concerning tomorrows.

It'll be a great day for them tomorrow,
The Feast of All Fools.

And their ships will come in
loaded to the gunwales,

with cancelled regrets and promises
fulfilled, and clean slates and new leases.

Yeah, and a ton of hope!

Don't mock their faith.

You no respect for religion,
you unregenerate Wop?

What does it matter if the truth is
that their favoring breeze

will have the stink of nickel whiskey
on its breath?

And their sea will be a growler
of lager and ale?

And their ships will long since be looted
and scuttled, and sunk on the bottom?

The hell with the truth.

The history of the world proves that truth
has no bearing on anything.

It's the lie of the pipe dream that gives
life to the whole misbegotten mad lot of us,

drunk or sober.

The old Foolosopher,
like Hickey calls you.

I suppose you don't fall
for no pipe dreams.

No, I don't.

Mine are dead and buried
behind me.

What's before me is the fact
that death is a fine long sleep.

I'm damn tired,
and it can't come too soon for me.

Yeah, just hangin' around,
hopin' you croak, ain't you?

Well, I'm bettin' you have
a good long wait.

Jees, somebody'd have
to take an ax to croak you!

Yeah, it's my bad luck to be
cursed with an iron constitution

that even Harry's booze
can't corrode.

The old Anarchist wise guy
that knows all the answers.

Forget the anarchist
part of it.

I'm through with
the Movement long since.

I saw that, if men wanted to be safe
from themselves,

that would mean they'd
have to give up greed.

I wouldn't pay
that price for liberty.

So I said to the world, "God bless all here
"and may the best man win...

and die of gluttony."

I took a seat in the grand stand
of philosophical detachment.

Fall asleep observing the cannibals
do their death dance.

Grab another ball, Larry.

You'd never think all these bums
had a bed upstairs to go to.

Scared if they hit the hay
they wouldn't be here when Hickey showed up,

and they'd miss
a couple of drinks.

Me, it's not so much the hope of booze,
but I've got the blues.

And Hickey's a great one to make a
joke of everything and cheer you up.

Yes, some kidder!

Remember how he works up that gag
about his wife when he's cockeyed?

Crying over a picture
and then spilling in on you all of a sudden

that he left her in the hay
with the iceman?

Yeah, I wonder
what's happenin'.

You could set your watch
by his periodicals before this.

We always got here a couple of days
before Harry's birthday party,

and now he's only got
'till tonight to make it.

Willie sure is
on the bottom.

I ain't never seen no one so bad except
Hickey on end of a couple of his bats.

It's a great game, the pursuit of happiness.

I don't even know
what to do about him.

He called up his old lady's lawyer,
like he always does when Willie gets licked.

You remember, they used to send down a
private dick to give him the rush to a cure.

But the lawyer
tells Harry nix.

The old lady is off of Willie for keeps
this time, and he can go to hell.

There's a consolation
he hasn't got far to go.

Ahhhh!

It's a goddamned lie!

Nix, nix!
Oh, papa!

Hey, you, nix!

Cut out the noise!
Oh, Jesus, papa!

Who's that yelling?

Willie, boss, the Brooklyn boys is after him.

Then why don't you give the poor
fella a drink and keep him quiet?

Bejees, can't I get a wink
of sleep in my own back room?

Listen to the blind-eyed
old bastard, would you?

He give me strict orders not to let Willie
hang up no more drinks, no matter what...

What's that?

I can't hear ya.

You're a cockeyed liar.

Never refused a drink to anyone
needed bad in my life.

Told you to use
your judgment!

You're too busy
thinkin' up ways to cheat me.

Oh, sure boss, swell chance of foolin' you.

No one never played
Harry Hope for a sucker.

No one but everybody.

The least you could do is keep things quiet.

Give me a drink,
Rocky.

Harry said
it was all right.

God, I need a drink.
Then grab it, it's right under your nose.

Thank you.

When!

I didn't say
"Take a bath!"

Jees, look!

He's killed
a half pint or more!

Leave him be,
the poor devil.

A half pint of that dynamite in one swig will
fix him for a while, if it doesn't kill him.

All right by me,
it ain't my booze.

Who-whose booze?

Give me some!

Where's Hickey?

What time is it,
Rocky?

Getting near time
to open up.

Time you begun
to sweep up in the bar.

Never mind the time.

If Hickey ain't come,
it's time Joe went to sleep again.

Hey...

I got a idea!

Say, Larry,
what about that young guy, Parritt?

Come look you up last night
and rented a room.

He's upstairs asleep.

No hope there, Joe,
he's broke.

Me and Rocky
know different.

He had a roll when he
paid you his room rent.

Didn't he, Rocky?

Yeah, he flashed it like he forgot
and then tried to hide it quick.

He did, did he?
Yeah.

I figured he don't belong,
but he said he was a friend of yours.

He's a liar!

Ah, it's true, his...

his mother and I were friends
a few years ago on the coast.

Did you read in the papers about that bombing
on the coast where a few people were killed?

Well, the one woman they pinched,
Rosa Parritt, is his mother.

They'll be coming up for trial soon,
they haven't got a chance.

She'll get life.

I'm telling you all this so you'll know why,
if Don acts a bit queer and not jump on him.

He's her only kid.

Why ain't he out there
stickin' by her?

Must be a good reason.
I get it.

Then what kind of a sap is he
to hang on to his right name?

I'm telling you,
I don't know.

And I don't want to know!

The hell with the Movement
and everybody connected with it.

If there's one thing more than another
I can't stand it's the sucker game

you and Hugo calls
"Movement."

Reminds me of a damn full argument
me and Mose Porter had the other night.

He's drunk and I'm drunker, and he says,

"Socialists and anarchists,
we ought to shoot 'em dead."

"Hold on, hold on."

"You talk as if the socialists"
"and anarchists was the same thing."

"Anarchist..."

"never works."

"He drinks, he never buys," and if you do
ever get a nickel, "he blows it on bombs,

"but he wouldn't
give you nothin'.

"So you can go ahead
and shoot him.

"But, uh, socialists...

"sometimes he gets a job.

"If he gives 10 bucks, "he's bound by
his religion "to split it with ya 50-50.

"So you don't shoot no socialist
"while I'm around.

"Of course, if they broke,
then they're no-good, bastards, too."

Be God, Joe!

You've got all the beauty of human nature
and the practical wisdom of the world

in that little parable.

Sure.

Larry ain't the only wise guy in this dump.
Eh, Joe?

Here's your guy.

Hello, Larry.

Hello.

What's up?
Thought you'd be asleep.

I couldn't make it, I, uh,
thought I might see if you were around.

Well...

sit down
and join the bums then.

The rules of the house are that
drinks may be served at all hours.

Oh, I get you but, uh,
hell, I'm just about broke.

Oh, I know,
you guys saw...

You think I have a roll,
don't you?

Well, I'll show you
you're wrong.

You see?
They're all one's.

See, I've got to live on this
'till I get a job.

So you think I made
up a phony, don't you?

Well, why the hell
would I do that?

Where would I get
a roll anyway?

You don't get rich doin'
what I've been doin', ask Larry.

You're lucky in the Movement,
you get enough to eat.

What's the song
and dance about?

We ain't said nothin'.

Oh... Oh, I was just tryin'
to put you right.

Hey, I don't want you
to think I'm a tightwad.

I'll buy you a drink
if you want one.

"If?"

Man, if I don't want a drink,
you call the morgue and you tell them.

"Come take Joe's body away,
'cause he sure look dead."

Now gimme the bottle, quick, Rocky,
before he changes his mind.

I'll take a cigar
when I go in the bar.

What are you havin'?

Oh, nothin',
I'm on the wagon.

What's the damage?

15 cents.

That must be some booze.

It's cyanide cut with carbolic acid,
to give it a mellow flavor.

Here's luck.

I guess I'll get back in the bar and catch
a couple of winks before opening up time.

One-drink guy.

No hope till Harry's birthday party,
unless Hickey shows up.

If Hickey do come later, you wake me up
if you have to bat me with a chair.

Who's Hickey?

A hardware drummer.

He's an old friend of Harry Hope's
and all the gang.

He's a grand guy.

Comes here twice a year regularly on a
periodical drunk, and blows in all his dough.

He doesn't run into anyone
he knows in his business here.

Oh, yes, that's what
I want, too, Larry.

But like I told you last night,
I gotta stay undercover.

You did a lot of hinting,
but you didn't tell me anything.

Oh, now you're thinking,
"This guy has a hell of a nerve.

I haven't seen him
since he was a kid."

Well, I've never
forgotten you, Larry.

You're the one friend of mother's
who ever paid any attention to me.

I remember you used to ask me questions,
you took what I said seriously?

I guess I got the feeling
in the years you lived with us,

you'd sort-of, you know,
taken the place of my old man.

I don't suppose you remember it.
Ah, I remember it very well.

You were a lonely,
serious little shaver then.

Why didn't they pick you up
when they got your mother and the rest?

Oh, I wasn't around.

And, as soon as I heard the news,
I went under cover.

You've noticed my glad rags here,
well, I will stake to them as a disguise,

and then I, you know, hung around gambling
joints and pool halls, and hooker shops.

Places where they wouldn't
look for a Wobblie.

By pretending I was a...

a sport.

Anyway, they picked up
everybody who was,

you know, really important, so I guess they
didn't think about me till afterwards.

Like you say,
the cops got them.

The Burns dicks
knew every move before hand.

Somebody in the movement must have sold out
and tipped them off.

Yeah, it hasn't come out who it was yet,
it may never come out.

I guess who it was must've made a bargain
with the Burns men to keep him out of it.

Be God...

I hate to believe
it'd be any of that crowd.

All I know,
they were damned fools!

As stupidly greedy for power
as any capitalist they attacked,

but I'd have sworn there wasn't
a yellow stool pigeon among 'em.

Yeah, they'd sworn
that, too, Larry.

I hope his soul rots in hell, whoever it is.

Yes, so do I.

Well, then what made you leave the Movement, Larry?
Was it on mother's account?

You asked me
why I quit the Movement.

I had a lot of good reasons.

One was myself, another was my comrades.

And the last was that breed of swine
called "men in general."

As for myself...

I'd become convinced
after 30 years of devotion to the cause

that I wasn't made for it.

I was born condemned
to see both sides of a question.

And when
you're damned that way...

the questions multiply until the end,
they're all questions and no answers.

As history proves, to be a worldly success
at anything especially revolution,

you've got to wear blinders like a horse
and only see what's straight ahead of you.

As for my comrades in the great cause,

I've thought about them as Horace Walpole did
about England when he said he could love it,

if it wasn't for
the people in it.

Well, that's why
I quit the cause.

You see, it had nothing
to do with your mother.

Well, but I bet mother always thought
it was on her account.

I mean, you know her, Larry,
to hear her go on sometimes

you'd think
she was the Movement.

That's a hell of a thing to say
after what happened to her.

Oh, no,
it wasn't sneering.

I said the same thing to her lots of times,
you know, to kid her.

I know I shouldn't now, but I keep forgetting
she's jail, she...

seemed so real to me,
she's always been so free.

I don't want to even
wanna think about it.

So what have you been doing
all these years since you le...

ah, you know,
left the coast, Larry?

I've been a philosophical drunken bum,
and proud of it.

I hope you've deduced why I answer a lot of
impertinent questions from a total stranger.

For that's all you are to me.

I have a hunch you came
to get something from me.

Well, I have no answers, no,
not even for myself.

Unless you can call what Heine wrote
in his poem to Morphine an answer.

"Lo, sleep is good, "better is death.

"In sooth, the best of all,
were never to be born."

That's a hell of an answer.

"The days grow hot,
O Babylon!

"It's cool beneath thy willow trees!"

Goddamned stool pigeon!

What,
what do you mean?

You can't call me that!

Hello, little Don!

I didn't recognize you!

You've grown, big boy!

How's your mother?

Don't be a fool!

Loan me a dollar.

Buy me a drink!

Sure, I'll buy you
a drink, Hugo.

I'm sorry, got, uh, I got sore at you there.

I ought to remember that when you're sauced,
you call everyone "stool pigeon," ah?

It's just no damn joke
right at this time.

Oh, gee,
he passed out again.

What are you giving me
the hard look for, Larry?

You thought
I was gonna to hit him?

What do you think I am?

I always stood up for him when everybody in the Movement
panned him for an old drunken has-been!

He had the guts to serve
10 years in the can in his own country,

got his eyes ruined
in solitary.

I'd like to see
some of 'em here stick that.

Well, they're gonna
get their chance now tha...

Hey, Larry, tell me
more about this dump.

Who are all these, uh,
these tanks in here?

Who's that guy over there
trying to catch pneumonia?

That's Captain Lewis, one time hero
in The British Army.

He strips to display that scar,
which he got from a native spear,

whenever he's
completely plastered.

The bewhiskered bloke next to him is General
Wetjoen, who led a commando in the war.

They met up when they worked in The Boer
War Spectacle in the St. Louis Fair,

and they've been
bosom friends ever since.

They dream away the hours and happy dispute
over the brave days in South Africa,

when they were trying
to murder each other.

He was in it, too.

Correspondent for some
English paper.

His nickname here
is Jimmy Tomorrow.

But what do they do
for a living?

As little as possible.

Once in a while one of them makes
a successful touch somewhere,

and some of them get a few dollars a month
from connections at home,

who pay it on the condition
that they never come back.

The rest live on free lunch
and their old friend Harry Hope,

who doesn't give a damn what a man does
or doesn't do, as long as he likes 'em.

That must be a tough life.

Don't waste your pity.

They manage to stay drunk and keep their pipe
dreams, and that's all they ask out of life.

It isn't often that men attain
the true goal of their heart's desire.

And that applies
to Harry himself.

He's so satisfied with life
that he hasn't set foot out of this place

since his wife died
20 years ago.

He has no need
of the outside world.

Place does a fine trade from the market
across the street and the dock workers.

So in spite of Harry's thirst
and his generous heart, he comes out even.

He never worries about hard times,
as long as there's friends from the old days

when he was a jitney Tammany politician
and the friendly brewery that tied him over.

Pat McGloin, his pal
sitting beside him,

was a police lieutenant in the lush
times of graft, when everything went,

but he got too greedy.

And when the usual reform investigation
came along, he was caught red handed

and thrown off the force.

Joe there ran a colored gambling house, and,
was a hell of a sport.

Well, that completes
our family circle of inmates,

except for the two barkeeps
and their girls,

three ladies of the pavement
that room on the third floor.

I never wanna see
a whore again.

I mean, they always
get you in dutch.

Why omit me from your.

"Who's Who
in Dipsomania," Larry?

It's an unpardonable
slight...

that's generous, stranger.

I trust you're generous.

I was born in the purple, the son... hmm,

but unfortunately not the heir
of the late world-famous.

Bill Oban, king of the bucket shops.

A revolution deposed him,
he was sent into exile.

The fact, not to mince matters, they locked
him in the can and threw away the key.

Alas, his was an adventurous spirit
that pined in confinement...

and so he died!

That's tough luck.

Even in Harvard
I discovered my father was...

well known
by reputation.

Although that was sometime before
the district attorney gave him

so much
unwelcomed publicity.

Even as a freshman,
I was notorious.

I was accepted socially,
with all the warm cordiality that, uh,

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,
who could've shown a drunken Negress

dancing the can can at high noon
on Brattle Street.

Harvard was my father's idea.

But I did make myself
a brilliant student!

A dirty trick
on my classmates...

inspired by revenge,
I fear.

And I, I, I was a brilliant student
in Law School, too!

And my father wanted a lawyer in the family.

Oh, a thorough knowledge of the law
close at hand in the house,

to help him find
fresh ways to evade it.

But I discovered a loophole in whiskey.

And so, escaped his jurisdiction.

Speaking of whiskey, sir, reminds me,
and I hope reminds you,

that when greeting a prince, the customary
salutation is "What'll you have?"

Nix!
All you guys think
I'm made of dough!

Broke?

You haven't the thirsty look
of the impecunious.

I'd judge you to be a plutocrat,
your pocket's stuffed with ill-gotten gains.

Two or three dollars
at least.

Don't think we question
how you got it.

What do you mean
"How I got it"?

That's a laugh,
isn't it, Larry?

Him thinking me
a plutocrat?

When I've been in
the Movement all my life?

Ah, one of those,
eh?

Why don't you go away
and blow yourself up?

That's a good lad.
Hugo...

Hugo is the only licensed preacher
of that gospel here.

Oh, dangerous
terrorist Hugo!

He'd as soon blow the collar off a
schooner of beer as look at you.

Let us ignore this useless youth, Larry,
And let us join in prayer

that Hickey, the great salesman,
will soon arrive bringing

the blessed bourgeoisie
long green.

Would that Hickey or Death would come, uh?

Meanwhile, I will sing a song.

A beautiful old
New England folk ballad,

which I'd picked at Harvard
amid de debris of education.

* Oh * Jack oh Jack was a sailor lad *
* And he went to a tavern for gin *

* And he rapped and he rapped with a * * But
* Never a soul seemed in *

The origin of this beautiful ditty
is veiled in mystery, Larry.

There was a legend bruited about in Cambridge
lavatories that Waldo Emerson composed it

during his uninformative period as a minister
while he was trying to write a sermon.

But my own view
is that it goes back much further,

and Jonathan Edwards is the author
of both words and the music.

* Oh he rapped and rapped * * And he tapped
and tapped * * Enough to wake the dead

* 'Till he heard a damsel * * On a
window * Right over his head * Rocky!

Bejees,
can't you keep that crazy bastard quiet?

And now the influence of a good woman
enters our mariner's lifeline.

Well, perhaps "good" isn't the word,
but very, very kind.

* "Oh * Come up" she cried "my sailor lad" *
* And you and I'll agree *

* And I'll show you the prettiest * * That
ever you ever did see * You see, Larry?

The lewd puritan touch, obviously,
and it grows more marked as we go on.

* Oh, he puts his arms * Around her waist *
And gazed in her bright * blue eyes * Piano?

What do you think
this dump is, a dump?

Give him a bum's
rush upstairs.
Lock him in his room.

Come on.

No, please, Rocky, I'll go crazy
up in that room alone! It's haunted!

Please, Larry, please!
Let me stay here, I'll be quiet!

What the hell you
doin' to him, Rocky?

Leave him alone...

as long as he's quiet.

Thanks, Harry, you're a good scout.

Yeah, can't trust nobody.

Leave it to that Dago to keep order
and it's like bedlam in a cathouse!

Singin' and everything.

And you, a big barfly,
you're a hell of a help to me.

There ain't gonna be no more drinks
on the house 'till hell freezes over.

Good God.

Have I been drinking at the same table
with a bloody Kaffir?

Hello, captain, you comin' up for air?

A "Kaffir," who's he?

"Kaffir,"
that's a nigger, Joe.

That's joke on him, Joe, he don't know you.

He's still blind drunk.

A great mistake,
I missed him at The Battle of Modder River.

With mine rifle I shoot damn fool Limey
officers by the dozen, but him I miss.

Hey, wake up,
Cecil, you bloody fool.

Don't you know
your old friend Joe?

He's white, Joe is!

Oh, profound apologies, Joseph, old chum.

Eyesight's a trifle
blurry, I'm afraid.

Whitest colored man
I ever knew.

Proud to call you
my friend.

Oh, I know
it's mistake, captain.

You here is a regular,
even if you is a Limey.

But I don't stand for "nigger"
from nobody.

In the old days, somebody calls me a "nigger"
he ends up in the hospital.

Me, in old days in Transvaal, I was so tough!

And strong!

I, I grab axle of ox wagon, with full load,
and lift like feather.

As for you, my balmy Boer that
walks like a man, I say it again,

It was a grave error in our foreign policy
ever to set you free.

Well, now,
Cecil, Piet!

We must forget
the war.

Boer and Britain, each fought fairly
and played the game until the better man won,

and then we shook hands.

We are all brothers within The Empire, united
beneath the flag on which the sun never sets.

* Ship me somewhere * East of Suez *
Where the best * Is like the worst *

* Where there ain't * No Ten Commandments
* And a man can raise * A thirst

* On the road * To Mandalay *
Where the flyin' fishes * Play

* And the dawn * Comes up like thunder *

* Outer China * 'Crost the Bay *

Well thanks, Harry,
old chum.

I will have a drink, now you mention it,
seeing it's so near your birthday.

I sorry,
can't hear you.

No, I was afraid
you wouldn't.

I don't have
to hear you, bejees.

Booze is the only thing
you ever talk about.

True, true.

Yet there was a time when my conversation
was more comprehensive.

You can't joke with me.

How much room rent do you owe me?
Tell me that!

I'm sorry.

Adding always baffled me,
subtraction's my forte.

Oh, think
you're funny.

Captain, bejees, showin' off your wounds.

Put on your clothes,
for Chrissake!

This ain't
no Turkish bath!

Lousy Limey army.

Took 'em years
to lick a gang of Dutch hayseeds.

That's right, Harry,
give him hell!

I give you my word of honor, as an officer
and a gentleman, you shall be paid tomorrow.

We swear it, Harry, tomorrow without fail!

There you are,
Harry.

Sure,
what could be fairer?

A promise is a promise,
as I've often discovered.

Naming you, too...

old grafting flatfoot.

Fine company for me,
bejees!

Been livin' in my flat since Christ knows
when, and you ain't even got the decency

to get me upstairs,
where I got a good bed!

Kept me down here waitin' for Hickey to show
up, hopin' I'd blow you to more drinks!

I did my damnedest
to get you up.

But you said you couldn't bear the flat
because it was one of those nights

when memory brought
poor old Bessie back to you.

Ah, yes...

I remember now.

I could almost see her in every room
just as she used to be...

and it's 20 years
since I...

Isn't a pipe dream
of yesterday a touching thing?

By all accounts, 20 years...
Bessie nagged the hell out of him.

And I've never set foot out of this house
since the day I buried her.

Once she's gone, I didn't
give a damn for anything.

The boys was gonna
nominate me for Alderman.

Mm, Bessie wanted it, and she was so proud.

But when she was taken,
I told 'em, "No, boys, I can't do it.

I'm through."

I know, Lord,
why Bessie would appreciate my grief.

She wouldn't want it to keep me
cooped up in here all my life.

So I've made up my mind
to go out soon.

Take a walk around the ward,
see all the friends I used to know.

Get together with the boys.

My birthday, tomorrow!

That'd be the right time
to turn over a new leaf!

60, that ain't too old.

The prime of life, Harry.

Time I took hold of myself.

Tomorrow I must get my things
from the laundry.

Clean collar and shirt.

If I wash the ones I've got on anymore,
they'll fall apart.

I must make
a good appearance.

I've heard rumors management were at their
wits' end and would be only too willing

to have me run the publicity department
for them again.

All I have to do is get fixed up
with a decent front tomorrow,

and it's as good as done.

Poor Jimmy's off
on his pipe dream again.

I'll make my stake and get my new gamblin'
house open before you boys leave.

You gotta come
to the openin'.

Bejees, Jimmy's started them off
smoking the same hop.

This bughouse will drive me
stark, raving loony yet!

What, what'd you say?

Nothing, Harry.

I had a crazy thought
in my head.

Crazy is right, the old wise guy.

Damned old fool Anarchist.

I-Won't-Worker!

You'll pay up tomorrow, or I'll,
I'll start a Harry Hope Revolution!

I'll tie a dispossess bomb to your tails
that'll blow you out in the street!

I'll, I'll make
your Movement move!

Sure it's hot,
parching work

sittin' here laughin' at your
jokes so early in the morning...

What the hell you thinks
happened to Hickey?

I hope he turns up.

You remember that gag he always pulls
about his wife and the iceman?

Opening time, boss.

Why don't you go
to bed, Boss?

Hickey'd never turn up
this time of the mornin'.

Someone's comin' now!

Oh, that's only my two pigs,
it's about time they showed.

You keep them
dumb broads quiet!

I'm gonna catch
a couple more winks here,

and I don't want no damn fool
laughin' and screechin'.

Hey.

Never thought I'd see the day
when Harry Hope's would have tarts living in.

What would Bessie
think, hmm?

But he don't let 'em use
my rooms for business.

Pay their rent, too,
which is more than I can say for...

Bejees, Mac, I, I'll bet Bessie's doin'
somersaults in her grave!

Hello.

Jees, Pearl.

This place is a morgue
with all these stiffs on deck.

Hey, you Old Wise Guy, ain't you died yet?

Not yet, Margie.

But I'm waiting impatiently
for the end.

Yeah.

Hey, who's the new guy?
Friend of yours?

Hey, kid!

You wanna have
a good time, huh?

Hey, hell with him!

You dumb broads!

Cut the loud talk!

Sit down before
I knock you down!

Ohh, you!

What, what, what, what?

Well, how do you
tramps do?

Ah, pretty good,
uh, Pearl?

Sure, we nailed
a couple of all-night guys.

On Sixth Avenue,
boobs from the sticks.

Stinko,
the both of 'em!

Jees, I never heard
such gabby guys!

So... here we are.

Yeah, I see you,
but I don't see no dough yet.

Right on the job,
ain't he, Margie?

Yeah, our little
business man, that's him.

Come on, dig!

What, you're scared
we're holdin' out on you?

Way he grabs, you'd think
it was him done the work.

Here you are,
grafter!

I hope it chokes you!

Hey, you dumb baby dolls
give me a pain.

What would you do
with money if I wasn't around?

Give it all to some pimp.
Jees, what's the difference?

Oh, didn't mean that,
Rocky.

A lot of difference,
get me?

Hey, come on, Rocky!
Pearl was only kiddin'.

We know you don't live off us,
you got a regular job.

That's why we like you, you're a bartender.

Sure, I'm a bartender,
and I treat you girls right, don't I?

Yeah.

Jees, I'm wise you hold out on me,
but I know it ain't much.

So what the hell,
I let you get away with it.

Hey, you know ought not
kid him about that stuff.

Serves you right
if he beats you up.

Jees, I'd bet he'd give you an
awful beatin' once he started.

Ginnies got
awful tempers.

Anyways, we wouldn't keep no pimp
like we were regular old whores.

We ain't that bad.

Oh, no, we're tarts,
but that's all.

Hey, Rocky.

Cora got back
around 3:00 o'clock.

She woke up Chuck and dragged him outta
the hay to go to for a chop suey joint.

Imagine him standin'
for that stuff!

I bet they been sittin' around
kiddin' themselves

with that old pipe dream about gettin'
married and settlin' down on a farm.

Jees, when Chuck's on the wagon,
they never lay off that dope.

Hello, bums!

Jees...

the morgue
on a rainy Sunday night.

Hello, Old Wise Guy,
ain't you croaked yet?

Not yet, Cora.

Damned tiring
this waiting for the end.

Aw, go on,
you'll never die.

You'll have to hire someone
to croak you with an axe.

Hey, you dumb hooker, cut the loud talk.

This ain't a cathouse.

Hey, Cora,
how you doin'?

Hey, Chuck,
what's happening?

If I'd known this dump was a hooker hangout,
I'd never come in.

You seem down
on the ladies.

I hate every bitch
that ever lived.

Me and this overgrown tramp's
been scrappin' about the farm.

He says Jersey's the best place, and I said
Long Island on account it will be near Coney.

And then I tells him, "How do I know
you're off of periodicals for life?"

And I tells her
"I'm off the stuff for life."

Then she beefs
we won't be married a month

before I'll throw it
in her face she was a tart.

"Jees, baby,"I tells her, "Why should I?
"What the hell you think I think I'm marryin', a virgin?

Can you tie it?

I'll buy a drink,
I'll do anything.

No, this round's on me!

I run into luck.

That's why I dragged
Chuck outta bed to celebrate.

It was a sailor,
I rolled him.

Listen,
it was a scream.

My dogs was givin' out when I seen this guy
holdin' up a lamp post,

so I hurry to get him
before a cop did.

I says, "Hello, handsome,
wanna have a good time?"

Jees, he was paralyzed!

One of them polite jags.

He tries to bow to me, imagine, and I had
to prop him up or he'd fell on his nose.

"Quit ticklin' me," he says,
while I was friskin' him for his roll!

I near died!

Ain't Uncle Sam the sap
to trust guys like that with dough?

Well, I picked 12 bucks
off of him.

So come on, Rocky,
set 'em up.

Oh, say, Chuck's kiddin'
about the iceman a minute ago

reminds me,
where the hell's Hickey?

That's what
we're all wonderin'.

Well, he oughta be here!

Me and Chuck seen him.

You've seen Hickey?Yeah.
Hey, boss!

Boss, boss,
come to.

Cora's seen Hickey.

Where'd you see him,
Cora?

Right on the next corner,
he was standin' there.

We said,
"Welcome to our city!

"The gang's expectin' ya with their
tongues hangin' out a yard long."

And I kidded him,
"How's the iceman, Hickey?

How's he doin'
at your house?"

And he laughs
and says, "Fine."

And then he says,
"Tell the gang I'll be along in a minute.

"I'm just finishin' figurin' out the best way
to save 'em and bring 'em peace."

Bejees, he's thought up
a new gag!

It's a wonder he didn't borrow a Salvation
Army uniform and show up in that!

Go out and get him,
Rocky.

Tell him we're waitin'
to be saved!

Yeah, Harry, he was only kiddin'
but he was funny, too, somehow;

he was different
or somethin'.

Sure, he was sober, baby,
that's what made him different.

Sure!

Gee, ain't I dumb?

Dumbest broad
I ever seen.

Sober?

That's funny.

He's always lapped up
a good starter on his way here.

Well, bejees,
he won't be sober long!

He'll be good and ripe for my birthday party
tonight at 12:00.

Listen, he's fixed
some new gag to pull on us.

We'll pretend to
let him kid us, see?

And we'll kid
the pants off him!

Here's the old
son of a bitch!

Hello, gang!

* Oh dear old pals * We're jolly old pals
* In all kinds of weather *

* We always stick together * Like we're
always game * Whenever the same soul

* Give me for friendship * * My jolly
old pals * And another little drink

* Won't do us any harm *

Do your duty, Brother Rocky,
bring on the rat poison!

How goes it,
Governor?

Bejees, Hickey, you old bastard,
it's good to see you!

Hello, Mac.

Welcome, "boyo!"

Willie!

Hey, Hickey!

How you've got...
Hello, Joe.

All right, Hickey,
how you doin'?

Hello, Hickey,
old timer.
Oh, Captain Lewis!

General Wetjoen!

I said!

Hello, Hugo!

How goes it?

Wow, wow!

Too much wine underneath
the willow trees, eh?

Hello, Jimmy.

It's grand to see ya.
How's the old scout?

You look great.

Sit down, Hickey,
sit down.

Well, I, I...
Jimmy!

Bejees, it seems natural
to see your ugly, grinning map.

This dumb broad was tryin' to tell us
you'd changed, but you ain't a damned bit!

Tell us about yourself.

Bejees, Hickey,
you look like a million dollars!

Here's your key, Hickey,same old room.
Oh, thanks, Rocky.

I'll be goin' up in a little while
and grab a snooze.

I haven't been able to sleep lately,
I'm tired as hell.

A couple of hours
of good kip will fix me.

First time I ever heard
you worry about sleep.

Bejees, you never
would go to bed.

Get a couple of slugs under your belt,
you'll forget sleeping.

Here's mud in your eye,
Hickey.

Drink hearty,
boys and girls.

Bejees,
is that a new stunt?

Drinking your chaser first?

No, I forgot
to tell Rocky.

You'll have to excuse me, boys and girls,
but I'm off the stuff, for keeps.

What the hell?

Sure, sure!

Joined the Salvation Army,
ain't you?

Been elected President
of the W.C.T.U.?

Take the bottle away
from him, Rocky.

We don't want
to tempt him into sin.

Eh, I know it's hard to believe, but, uh,
Cora was right, Harry, I have changed.

I mean about the booze,
I don't need it anymore.

Bejees, Cora says
you was comin' here to save us.

Well, go on, get
this joke off your chest.

Start the service!

Sing a Goddamned hymn
if you like.

We'll all join
in the chorus.

"No drunkard can enter
this beautiful home."

You don't think I'd come around here peddlin'
any brand of temperance bunk, do you?

Just 'cause I quit the stuff
don't mean I'm going Prohibition.

I'm not that ungrateful,
it's given me too many good times.

So if anybody wants to get drunk,
if that's the only way they can be happy,

and feel at peace with themselves,
why the hell shouldn't they?

Hell, I know that game
from soup to nuts.

I wrote the book.

The only reason
I quit is...

well, I finally had
the guts to face myself

and throw overboard that damned lying
pipe dream that'd make me miserable,

and do what I had to do
for the happiness of all concerned.

Then all at once, I was at peace with myself
and I didn't need the booze anymore.

Well, what the hell?

Don't let me be
a wet blanket.

Set 'em up again, Rocky.

Here, keep the balls coming until last kill,
then I'll ask for more.

Jees, a roll that'd choke
a hippopotamus.

Fill up, you guys!

That sounds more
like you, Hickey.

All that water-wagon bull!

Cut the act and have a drink,
for Chrissake.

It's no act, Governor,
but that don't mean

I'm a teetotal grouch
and can't be in the party.

Why else do you think
I'm here except to have a party,

like I've always done, and help
celebrate your birthday tonight?

You've all been good pals to me,
best friends I've ever had.

And I've been thinking about you
ever since I left the house,

all the time I was
walking over here.

"Walkin'?"

Bejees, you mean
to say you walked?

I sure as hell did.

All the way from the wilds
of darkest Astoria.

I seemed to get here
before I knew it.

And that ought to encourage you, Governor,
show you a little walk around the ward

is nothin'
to be so scared about.

It was goin' on 12:00
when I went into the bedroom

to tell Evelyn I was leaving,
six hours, say.

No, less than that,
'cause I'd been standin' on the street corner

some time before Chuck and Cora came along,
thinkin' about all of you.

Of course, I was only kidding Cora
with that stuff about saving you.

But no, I wasn't either,
but I didn't mean booze.

I meant save you
from pipe dreams.

Because I know now, from my experience,
that they're the things

that can really poison and ruin a guy's life
and keep him from finding any peace.

If you knew how free
and contented I feel now.

Why, I'm like a new man,
and the cure for them is so damned simple

once you got the nerve.

Just stop lying to yourself and
kidding yourself about tomorrows.

Hell, this begins to sound like a damned
sermon on the way to lead the good life!

It's in my blood,
I guess.

My old man used to whale salvation
into my heinie with a birch rod.

He was a preacher in the sticks of Indiana,
like I've told you,

got my knack of sales gab
from him, too.

He was the boy that could sell
those Hoosier hayseeds

building lots along
the Golden Street!

Now don't look at me
like that, boys and girls.

I'm not tryin' to sell
you a goldbrick.

Nothin' up my sleeves,
honest.

Let's take an example,
any one of you, eh?

Take you, Governor.

That walk around the ward
you never take.

What about it?

Well, you know as well as I do, Harry,
everything about it.

Well, Bejees,
I'm going to take it!

Of course you are,
because I'm gonna help you.

I know it's the thing that you've got to do
before you know what real peace means.

Same thing with you,
Jimmy.

You're goin' have to try and get your
old job back, and no tomorrows about it.

Ahh, I...

No, don't tell me,
I know all about tomorrows.

I wrote the book.

I, I don't
understand you, Hickey.

I admit I've foolishly delayed,
but as it happens, I'd just made up my mind

that as soon as I could
get straightened out...

Fine, fine, that's the spirit,
and I'm gonna help you, Jimmy.

'Cause you've always been damned kind to me,
and I wanna prove how grateful I am to you.

When it's all over,
you don't have to nag yourself any more.

You'll be grateful
to me, too.

And all the rest of you, the ladies included,
are in the same boat, one way or another.

Be God, you've hit the nail
on my head, Hickey.

This dump is the Palace of Pipe Dreams!

Well, well,
the Old Grandstand Foolosopher speaks, ah?

And you think you're
the big exception, eh?

Life doesn't mean a damn
to you any more.

You're retired from the circus,
you're impatiently waiting for the end

in the good old Long Sleep.

Well, I think a lot of you,
Larry, you old bastard,

and I'll try and make an
honest man out of you, too.

What the devil
are you hintin' at?

Well, you don't have to ask me, do you,
wise old guy like you?

Just ask yourself,
I'll bet you know.

He's got your number
all right, Larry.

That's the stuff,
Hickey.

He's got no right
to sneak out of everything.

Well, hello!
A stranger in our midst.

I didn't notice you
before, brother.

My name's, uh, Parritt,
I'm an old friend of Larry's.

What are you staring at?

Oh, no offense, brother,
I was just trying to figure.

Haven't we met before...
some place?

No, it's the first time
I've been East.

No, you're right,
I know that's not it.

You see, in my game, to be a shark at it,
you teach yourself

never to forget
a name or a face.

But still
I know damned well there's...

something that
I recognize about you.

We're members
of the same lodge...

in some way.

What are you
talkin' about?

You're nuts.

Don't kid me, little boy.

I'm a good salesman, so damned good the firm
was glad to take me back after every drunk.

And what made me good
was I could size up anyone.

But still, I don't...

Well, never mind.

I can tell you're havin'
trouble with yourself,

and I'll be glad to do anything I can
to help a friend of Larry's.

Mind your own business, Hickey.
He's nothing to you, or to me.

You're keeping us all
in suspense.

Tell us more about
how you're going to save us.

Well, hell, don't get sore, Larry.

We're old pals,
I've always liked you a lot, you know that.

Forget it, Hickey.

Fine, fine...

Well,
that's the spirit.

What's the matter,everybody?
Come on, drink up! A little action!

Have another...

Hell, this is
a celebration!

Oh, forget it if anything I said
sounded too serious.

You think I'm talkin' out of turn,
just tell me to go chase myself.

No, boys and girls,
I'm not trying to put anything over on you.

It's just that I know now, from experience,
what a lying pipe dream can do to you.

And how damned relieved and contented with
yourself you'll feel when you're rid of it.

Oh, my God...
I'm sleepy all of a sudden.

That long walk
must be gettin' to me.

I better go upstairs.

Hell of a trick
to go dead on you like this.

And no,
boys and girls, I've...

never known
what real peace was until now.

It's a grand feeling.

Like when you're sick and
suffering like hell and then...

doc gives you
a shot in the arm.

The pain goes and...

you drift off.

You let yourself go at last.

You sink down
to the bottom of the sea.

Rest in peace.

There's no further
you have to go.

Not one single hope or dream left to nag you.

But you'll all know
what I mean.

Excuse me,
I'll just grab 40 winks.

Drink up,
everybody...

on me.

Don't let me be
a wet blanket.

All I want
is to see you happy.

THE SAME DAY TOWARD MIDNIGHT

Hickey ain't
overlookin' no bets.

Tell it to Old Wise Guy Larry,
who's still pretendin' he's the one exception

who don't do no
pipe dreamin'!

I...

All right.

Take it out on me,
if it makes you more content.

Sure, I love every hair of your heads,
my great big beautiful baby dolls,

and there's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.

The old
Irish bunk, huh?

We ain't big and we ain't your baby dolls!

But we admit we're beautiful,
huh, Margie? Yeah, sure thing.

But what would he do with beautiful dolls
even if he had the price, the old goat?

Ahh!

Larry, you're okay even though
you are full of bull.

Sure, you're aces with us;
we're nervous, that's all.

It's Hickey,
that lousy drummer!

Why can't he be like
he's always been?

I ain't never seen
a guy change so.

What do you think
happened to him, Larry?

I don't know.

With all his gab
I noticed he's kept that to himself so far.

Maybe he's saving the great revelation
for Harry's party.

Let him mind his own business
and I'll mind mine.

Yeah,
that's what I say.

I told him, "I'll take a lot from you,
Hickey," "like everyone else in this dump,"

"because you always
been a grand guy."

"But there's things I don't take
from you nor nobody, see?"

"Remember that," or you'll wake up
in a hospital, "or maybe worse,

"with your wife and the iceman
walkin' slow behind ya."

I stood tellin' people this dump is
closed for the night all I'm gonna!

Let Harry hire a doorman,
pay him wages, if he wants one.

Yeah?

Harry's pretty
damned good to ya.

Sure he is, I don't mean that.

Anyways,
it's all right.

I told Schwartz, the cop,
we closed for the party.

He'll keep folks away.

I wants me a big drink,
that's what.

Who's stoppin' yuh?

You can have all you want
on Hickey.

All right, I earned all the drinks
on him I could drink in a year

for listenin' to his
crazy bull.

And here's hopin'
he gets the lockjaw.

I drinks on him,
but I don't drink with him.

No, sir,
never no more!

Oh, bull.

Hickey's all right,
what's he done to you?

That's my business.

Sure, you would think
he's all right.

He's a white man,
ain't he?

Now listen to me,
you white boys!

Now don't you get it in your head
that I was pretendin' to be what I ain't,

or that I ain't proud to be what I am
you gettin' me?

Or you and me
is goin' to have trouble.

What nerve!

Just because you act nice to him,
he gets a swelled nut...

if that ain't
a coon all over.

He talkin' fight talk, huh?
I'll murder the nigger.

Listen, listen, boys, I, I'm sorry.

You been
good friends to me.

It's that Hickey,
he gets my head all mixed up with craziness.

Oh, that's
all right, Joe.

The boys wasn't
takin' you serious.

Jees, what did I say?

Hickey ain't
overlookin' no bets.

And you gotta admit he's got the right dope.

I mean, on some
of the bums here.

He's certainly got one guy
I know sized up right.

Ain't he, Pearl?
He certainly has.

Cut it out,
I told ya!

It's nothing to me
what happened to him.

But I have a feeling he's dying to tell
us inside him, and yet he's afraid.

Like that damned kid.

Strange the queer way
he seemed to recognize him.

If he's afraid,
that explains why he's off booze.

Afraid if he got drunk,
he might tell...

Well, well, well!

Here I am
in the nick of time.

Well, come on, somebody,
give me a hand with these packages.

Jees, Hickey, you scared me outta a
year's growth, sneakin' in like that.

"Sneakin'?"

You were all so busy drinking in words
of wisdom from Old Wise Guy here,

you couldn't hear
anything else.

And from what I heard, Larry, you're not so
good when you start playing Sherlock Holmes.

You've got me all wrong.

I'm not afraid of anything now,
not even myself.

You better stick to the part of Old Cemetery,
the Barker for the Big Sleep.

That is, if you can still
let yourself get away with it.

"Old Cemetery!"

That's him, Hickey.
We'll have to call him that.

Beginning to do a lot of puzzling about me,
aren't you, Larry?

But that won't help you.

You've got to think of yourself,
I couldn't give you my peace.

You've got to find your own, all I can do
is to help you, and the rest of the gang,

by showing you the way
to find it.

Oh, hire a church!

All right, boys and girls,
don't get sore.

I guess that did sound too much
like a lousy preacher.

Well, let's forget it
and get on with the party.

Is those bundles grub, Hickey?
You bought enough already to feed an army.

I want this to be the biggest
birthday Harry's ever had.

Now you and Rocky go out in the hall
and bring in the big surprise!

My arms are busted
lugging it.

Jees, you got us all head up!

What is it, Hickey? Wait and see!

I thought to myself,

"I'll bet this is what would please
those whores more than anything."

Then I said to myself, "I don't care
"how much money it costs, they're worth it,

"they're the best little
scouts in the world,

"and they've always been damned kind to me
when I was down and out."

And I meant
every word of that.

Well,
what's the matter?

Ehh...
Oh, I see.

Now look, you know I didn't
say that to offend you.

So don't be silly now.

All right, all right.
Oh, look, here it comes!

Hickey, what...

What'd you get?
Unveil it, boys!

Oh, it's champagne!

Oh, jees, Hickey,
if you ain't a sport!

I never been soused
on champagne!

Hey, let's get stinko!
Oh, you betcha my life!

You sure is hittin'
the high spots, Hickey.

When I runs my gamblin' house,
I drink that old bubbly water in steins.

And I'm gonna drink that way again, too,
as soon's I make my stake.

And that ain't
no pipe dream, neither.

What'll we drink
it outta, Hickey?

There ain't no
wine glasses.

Well, Joe's got
the right idea, steins!

That's the spirit
for Harry's party.

We will drink wine beneath the willow trees!

That's the spirit, brother,
and let the lousy slaves drink vinegar.

Got damned liar!

Leave Hugo be!

He rotted 10 years in prison
for his faith.

He earned his dream!

Have you no decency
or pity?

Hello, what's this?

I thought you were in
the grandstand.

Listen, Larry,
you're gettin' me all wrong.

Hell, you ought
to know me better.

Of course I have pity, but now that I've seen
the light, it's not my old kind of pity,

the kind yours is.

The kind that lets itself off by encouraging some poor guy
to go on kidding himself with a lie.

The kind that leaves the poor slob worse off
because he feels guiltier than ever.

Oh, I know how you resent the way
I have to show you up to yourself,

but you'll be grateful to me
when all at once you're able to admit,

without feeling ashamed,
that all the grandstand foolosopher bunk

and the waiting for the Big Sleep stuff
is a pipe dream.

You'll be able to say to yourself,
"I'm just an old man who is scared of life,

"but even more
scared of dying.

"So I'm keeping drunk and hanging on to life
at any price, and what of it?"

Be God, if I'm not beginning
to think you've gone mad.

You're a liar!

Now, listen, that's no way to talk to
an old pal who's trying to help you.

Hell, if you really wanted to die, you'd just
take a hop off the fire escape, wouldn't you?

And if you really were in the grandstand,
you wouldn't be pitying everyone.

As for my being bughouse,
you can't crawl out of it that way.

I'm too damned sane.

I can size up guys and turn 'em inside out
better than I ever could,

even where they're strangers
like that Parritt kid.

He's licked, Larry.

For the love of God,
mind your own business.

How'd you know about him?

He's hardly
spoken to you.

No, that's right,
but I do know a lot about him just the same.

I've had hell inside of me,
I can spot it in others.

Maybe that's what gives me the feeling
there's something familiar about him,

something between us.

No, it's more than that.

Tell me about him, for example,
I don't imagine he's married, is he?

No.

Hasn't he been mixed up with some woman?
Oh, I don't mean trollops.

I mean the old real love stuff
that crucifies you.

Maybe you're right, I wouldn't be surprised.

I see.

You think I'm on the wrong track
and you're glad I am.

Because then I won't suspect whatever
it is he did about the Great Cause.

That's another lie you keep
telling yourself, Larry,

that the good old cause
means nothing to you any more.

What the hell...

But you're wrong
about Parritt.

That's not what's got him stopped,
it's what's behind that.

And it's a woman, I recognize the symptoms.

And you're the boy
who's never wrong.

His trouble is he was
brought up a devout believer

in the Movement,
and now he's lost his faith!

It's a shock...

but he's young, and he'll soon find
another dream just as good or as bad.

All right, I'll let it go
at that, Larry.

He's nothing to me,
except that I'm glad he's here

'cause he'll help me
make you wake up to yourself.

I don't even like the guy,
or the feeling there's anything between us.

But you'll find out
that I'm right just the same,

when you get to the final
showdown with him.

There'll be no showdown!
I don't give a tinker's...

Sticking to
the grandstand, eh?

I always knew that you'd be the toughest
of all the gang to convince, Larry.

And along with Harry
and Jimmy Tomorrow.

It was you
I wanted to help the most.

I've always liked you a lot,
you old bastard.

Hey, not much time
before 12:00!

Well, come on, gang,
let's get going.

Come on, boys and girls,
let's get busy.

Let's see,
cake's all set.

And my gifts
and yours, girls.

It's a tie,
tie and a handkerchief.

Chuck and Rocky, hmm?
What's this for, Hickey?

Harry certainly will be very
touched by your thoughts of him.

Now Margie and Pearl, get back in the bar
and get ready to bring the grub right in.

There'll be some
drinking first and some toasts.

My idea was to use the wine for that,
so get that all set.

Now I'll go upstairs and root everybody up,
Harry the last.

When you hear us coming,
somebody light the candles

and start playing
his favorite tune on the piano.

Well, come on, Cora,
everybody, let's hustle!

We want this to come off
in style, uh?

But Jees,I gotta practice.
I ain't laid my mitts on a box in God knows when.

Hey, Joe!

*
Oh, Jees, I've forgotten this has-been tune.

Come on, Joe,
hum it so I can follow.

Be God!

It's the second feast of Belshazzar,
with Hickey to do the writing on the wall!

Aw, shut up,
Old Cemetery!

Well, if it ain't
Prince Willie.

Gee, kid,
you look sick.

Get a couple
of shots in ya.

No, thanks, not now,
I'm-I'm-I'm tapering off.

It's been hell up in
that damned room, Larry.

The-the-the things
I've imagined!

But...

I've-I've got it beat now.

By-by tomorrow morning I'll...

I'll be on the wagon.

And I'll, uh...

I'll get back my clothes
first thing.

Hickey's loaning
me the money.

And I'm goin' to do
what I always said.

I'm-I'm-I'm gonna go to the D.A.'s office,
because he knows that I...

I-I really
was a brilliant student.

Oh, I know I can make good.

I-I owe a lot to Hickey.

He's...made me wake up to myself
and see what a fool...

It wasn't nice to face but...

It's not what he says.

It's what you feel
behind what he hints!

Christ, you'd think all I really wanted to
do with my life was sit here and stay drunk!

I'll show him!

You want my advice...

you'll put your mouth on this bottle
and keep it there

until you don't
give a damn about Hickey.

That's fine advice.

I thought you
were my friend!

Gee, I'm glad
you're here, Larry.

That damned fool Hickey
knocked on my door.

I opened up because
I thought it must be you.

He came bustin' in and
made me come downstairs here.

I don't know what for, I don't belong at this
birthday celebration, I don't know this gang,

and I don't wanna be
mixed up with them.

All I came here for was to find you!
I've warned you that...

Can't you make Hickey
mind his own business?

Just now he pats me on the shoulder,
like he's sympathizing with me.

He says, "I know how it is, son,
"but you can't hide from yourself,

"not even here
on the bottom of the sea.

"You've gotta face the truth
and then do what must be done

"for your own peace and for the happiness
of all concerned."

Now, what'd he mean by that, Larry?
How the hell would I know?

Then he grins at me and says, "Oh,
never mind, "Larry's getting wise to himself.

"I think you can rely on his
help in the end.

"He's gonna have to choose between living
and dying, "and he'll never choose to die

while there's a breath
left in the old bastard!"

Then he laughs
like it's a joke on you.

Well, what do you say
to that, Larry?

I've got nothing to say.

Except you're a bigger fool
than he is to listen to him.

Oh, is that so?
Well, he's no fool where you're concerned.

He's got your number,
all right.

Well, hello,
"Tightwad Kid."

Hey, did you come
to join the party?

Oh, wow, boy,
don't he act bashful, Pearl?

Hey, Rocky,
fighting in the hall!

Don't touch me!

Can you beat it?

I heard you's two call each other every
name you can think of but I never seen...

A swell time to stage your first bout,
on Harry's birthday party!

What started
the scrap?

Nothing, old chap.

Our business, you know, but that bloody ass,
Hickey, made some insinuation about me,

and the boorish Boer had the impertinence
to agree with him!

That's a lie!

Hickey made joke about me,
and this Limey said yes, it was true!

Well, sit down
the both of you!

And cut out
this rough stuff!

Here's the star
boarder.

It's serious
this time.

I'm tellin' all of you,
that bastard Hickey's got Harry on the hip.

And it ain't gonna do us no good if he
gets Harry to take that walk tomorrow.

He's sure to call on Bessie's relations
and have a little cry over poor old Bessie.

And you know what that bitch
and all her family thought of me!

Once Bessie's relations get their hooks
into him, it'll be as tough for us

as if she
wasn't even gone.

Everything all set?

Ah, fine.

Half-a-minute to go,
Harry's starting down with Jimmy now.

I had a hard time
getting him to move.

Harry don't even want to
remember it's his birthday now!

Oh, here they come!
Come on, everybody, light the candles!

Cora, get ready to play,
stand up, everybody, eh?

Chuck, Rocky,
the wine!

Let's see, 12:00 o'clock
on the dot.

Come on, everybody,
with a "Happy Birthday, Harry!"

Happy Birthday, Harry!

Hey!

Cut out the glad hand,
Hickey!

You think
I'm a sucker?

Bejees, I know you,
you sneaking, lying drummer!

And all you bums, what the hell you trying
to do, yelling and raising the roof?

You want the cops to close the joint,
and take my license away?

Hey, you dumb tart, quit banging that box.

Jees, Harry, I...

Bejees, the least you could do
is learn a tune.

You two hookers,
screaming at the top of your lungs!

What do you think this is,
a dollar cathouse?

Bejees,
that's where you belong!

Jees, Harry, I never thought
you'd say it like you meant it.

Now, Harry, you don't want
to get sore at the gang

just 'cause you're upset
about yourself, hmm?

Look, anyway, I promised you it'd
come through all right, haven't I?

So quit worrying.
Ahh...

You don't wanna blow out the old gang

just when they're congratulating
you on your birthday, do you?

Bejees, they ain't as dumb as you.

They know I was
only kiddin' 'em.

They know I appreciate
their congratulations.

Don't you, fellas, huh?

Yeah, sure Harry.

Bejees,
I like you broads.

You know
I was only kiddin'.

Sure, we know,Harry.
Sure!

It's that lousy drummer riding me
that's got my goat.

I know, Harry,
I know.

Hey, come on, look at your cake,
you haven't even noticed it yet!

Ain't it grand?

Yeah, say,
that's pretty.

I ain't have had a cake
since Bessie...

And six candles, eh?

Each for 10 years, eh?

You got it.

That was
thoughtful of him.

He means well,
I guess...

The hell with this cake!
Oh, oh, wait, Harry!

You ain't seen the presents from me and
Margie and Cora, and Chuck and Rocky.

And there's a watch all engraved
with your name and the date from Hickey.

Ah, the hell with it!

Bejees,
he can keep it!

Jees,
he ain't even goin' to look at our presents!

Hey, hey, come on everybody,
this is all wrong!

If someone don't put some life in this party
I'm gonna go nuts!

Hey, Cora, come on!

Why don't
you bang on that box?

Eh...ohh, play somethin'
for Harry, uh?

You don't have to stop
just 'cause he kidded you.

Yeah, now you was
playing it fine, Cora.

It was Bessie's
favorite tune.

She was always
singing it.

It brings her back,
I wish...

Yes, we've all heard you tell us
that you thought the world of her, Governor.

So I did, bejees...

everyone knows I did.

And bejees,
if you say I didn't...

Now, Governor,
I didn't say anything.

You're the only one that knows
the truth about that.

Marjorie's favorite song
was "Loch Lomond."

She was beautiful, she had a beautiful voice,
and she played the piano beautifully.

You were lucky, Harry, Bessie died.

But there are more bitter sorrows than losing
the woman one loves by the hand of death.

Now, you needn't
go on, Jimmy.

We've all heard the story about
how you came back to Cape Town

and found her in the hay
with a staff officer.

We all know that you'd like to believe that
that's what started you on the booze

and ruined your life.

I... I'm talking to Harry.

Will you kindly
keep out of...

My life is not ruined!

But I'll bet when you admit
the truth to yourself,

you'll confess it, you were pretty sick
of her hating you for getting drunk.

And I'll bet you were really damned relieved
when she gave you such a good excuse.

I know how it is, Jimmy, you see, I...
Ha!

So that's what
happened, is it?

Your iceman joke finally
came home to roost, did it?

Maybe you should've remembered
there's truth in the old superstition

that you'd better look out what you call,
because in the end it comes to you.

Was that a fact,
Larry?

Well, well.

Then you'd better be careful
how you keep calling for the old Big Sleep.

Chair.

Well, what are we waiting for, boys and girls?
Let's get this party rolling!

Chuck, Rocky,
bring on the big surprise!

Oh, Governor, you sit over here
at the head of the table.

Come on.

Well, sit down,
girls, sit down.

And I'll sit here
at the foot.

Real champagne, bums,
cheer up!

What is this,
a funeral?

Mixin' champagne with Harry's redeye
will knock you paralyzed!

Ain't you never
satisfied?

Order, order,
Ladies and gents!

Oh, yes, I am going to drink
with you this time, Larry.

To prove that I'm not teetotal because
the booze'll make me spill my secrets, as you think.

I don't need the booze anymore,
or anything else.

I just want to be sociable and propose a
toast in honor of our old friend, Harry,

and drink it with you.

Wake up our
demon bomb-tosser, Rocky.

We don't want any corpses
at this feast.

Hey, Hugo,
come up for air!

Don't you see
the champagne?

Hah.

We will eat birthday cake
and drink champagne beneath the willow trees!

This wine
is unfit to drink!

It has not properly
been iced!

Always a high-toned swell at heart, eh, Hugo?

Well, God help us poor bums if you'd ever got
to telling us where to get off.

You'd have been drinking our blood beneath
those willow trees!

But here's the toast,
Ladies and gents.

Here's to Harry Hope, who's been a
friend in need to every one of us.

And here's to the old Governor,
the best sport and the kindest,

biggest-hearted guy
in the world.

Come on, everybody,
to Harry!

Bottoms up.

To Harry! To you, boss.
Happy Birthday!

Thanks, all of you.

Hickey, you old son of a bitch,
that's white of you.

I know you
meant it, too.

Of course I meant it,
Harry, old friend.

And I mean it when I say that I hope that
this will be the biggest day in your life,

and in the lives of everyone here,
and the beginning of a new life

of peace and contentment.

And here's to that,
Harry.

Oh, forget that bughouse line
of bull for a minute, can't you?

You're right, Rocky,
I am talking too much.

It's Harry
we want to hear from.

Speech, speech, speech!

Bejees, I'm...

I'm no good
at speeches.

All I can say is thanks to everybody again
for remembering me on my birthday.

Only don't think because I'm 60, I'll be
a bigger damned fool easy mark than ever!

Like Hickey says,
it's gonna be a new day!

This dump has got to be run
like other dumps,

so I can make some money
and not just split even.

I'm sick of bein'
played for a sucker.

I know you're all laughin' at me now
behind my back, thinking to yourselves,

"The old, lying' pipe-dreaming faker,
"we've heard his bull

"about takin' a walk around the ward
for years, "he'll never make it!

"He's scared, he's yellow,
"he ain't got the guts!

He's scared
he'll find out... ".

But I'll show you,
bejees!

And I'll show you, too, you son of a bitch
of a frying-pan-peddling bastard!

Hu, hu, hu,
that's the stuff, Harry!

Of course you'll try to show me,
that's what I want you to do.

Bejees...

all of you, forgive me.

I lost my temper.

I ain't feeling well.

I got a hell
of a grouch on.

You're as welcome
as the flowers in May!

Oh, sure, boss,
you're always aces with us, see?

Listen, everybody.

I know you're sick
of my gabbing, but, uh,

I think I owe it to you
to do a little explaining

and apologize for some of the rough stuff
I've had to pull on you.

I had to make you help
each other with me, eh?

I saw that I couldn't do
what I had to do alone.

Not in the time
at my disposal.

I knew when I came here
I wouldn't be able to stay long.

I'm slated to leave
on a trip.

Now I know every one of you,
inside and out, by heart.

I may have been drunk
when I've been here before,

but old Hickey could never be so drunk
he couldn't have to see through everybody.

Everybody, that is,
except himself.

And finally, he had to
see through himself, too.

Now I swear I would've
never acted this way

if I didn't absolutely believe it'd
be worthwhile to you in the end.

When you're rid of the damned guilt
that makes you lie to yourselves

that you're something you're not,
and the remorse that nags at you

and makes you hide behind lousy pipe dreams,
you won't give a damn what you are anymore.

I wouldn't say this unless
I knew, brothers and sisters.

This peace is real,
it is a fact.

I know, because I've got it, here, now,
right in front of you.

Well, you can see
the difference in me.

You remember
how I used to be.

Even when I had two quarts of rotgut under
my belt, and joked and sang "Sweet Adeline,"

I still felt like
a guilty skunk.

But you can see that I don't give a damn
about anything anymore.

And I promise you,
by the time this day is over,

I'll have every one of you
feeling the same way.

I guess that's about all from me
for the present, boys and girls.

So, let's get on with the party.
Wait!

I think it would help us, poor pipe-dreaming
sinners along the sawdust trail to salvation,

if you told us now what it was happened
that converted you

to this great peace
you've found.

I noticed you didn't say anything
when I asked you about the iceman.

Did this great revelation
of the evil habit of dreaming about tomorrow

come to you after you found out
your wife was sick of you?

Bejees, you've hit it,
Larry.

I've noticed he hasn't shown
her picture around this time.

He hasn't got it!
The iceman took it away from him!

Jees, look at him!
Who could blame her?

She must be hard up
to fall for an iceman!

Imagine a sap like him
advisin' me and Chuck to get married.

Yeah, he done
so good with it.

At least I can say that Marjorie
chose an officer and a gentleman.

Come to look at you, Hickey, old chap, you've
sprouting horns like a bloody antelope!

Bigger, by God, like a water buffalo's!

* "Oh come up" she cried, * * "My iceman lad
* "And you and I'll agree *

* "And I'll show you the prettiest *
* "That ever you did see" *

Well, I'm glad to see you get in good spirits
for Harry's party, even if the joke is on me.

Well, I'll admit
I always asked for it in the old days

by pulling that iceman gag,
so, uh, laugh all you like.

Well, I guess this forces my hand,
by brining up the subject of Evelyn.

I had wanted to wait until
the party was over, But, uh,

you're getting the wrong idea about
poor Evelyn, and I've got to stop that.

I'm sorry to tell you that my
dearly beloved wife is dead.

Be God...

I felt he had
the touch of death on him.

Forgive me, Hickey...

I'd like to cut
my dirty tongue out.

Now, look everybody, you mustn't
let this be a wet blanket on Harry's birthday party.

You're still
getting me all wrong.

There's no reason...

You see,
I don't feel any grief.

I've got to feel glad, for her sake, because
she's at peace; she's rid of me at last.

And you can imagine what I was like being
married to a no-good drunken cheater like me.

And there was no way out of it for her,
because she loved me.

But now she is at peace,
like she always longed to be.

So why should I feel sad?

She wouldn't want me
to feel sad.

Why, all that Evelyn ever wanted out of life
was to make me happy.

THE MIDDLE OF THE MORNING

Eh, nothin' now 'till
the noon rush from the market.

If I ain't a sap to let Chuck
kid me into workin' his time

so he can take
the morning off.

But I got sick
of arguing.

"All right, get
married! What's it to me?"

Some party
last night, eh?

It was jinxed from the start, but his tellin'
about his wife croakin' put de K.O. on it.

It was the birthday feast
that turned out to be a wake.

Him promisin' he'd cut out that
bughouse bull about peace.

And then he went on talkin' and
talkin' like he couldn't stop.

And the gang, sneakin' upstairs, leavin'
free booze and eats like they was poison.

He's been hoppin' from room
to room, all night.

He's got his Reform Wave
goin' strong this mornin'.

Did you notice him drag
Jimmy out the first thing

to get his laundry and his clothes pressed
so he wouldn't have no excuse?

And he give Willie the dough
to buy his stuff back from Solly's.

And all the rest have been brushin'
and shavin' themselves with the shakes.

He didn't come
to my room.

Afraid I might ask him
a few questions.

Yeah? I'd say you
was scared of him.

You'd lie then.
Don't let him kid you, Rocky.

He had his door locked,
I couldn't get in, either.

Yeah, who do you think
you're kiddin', Larry?

Like he says, if you
was so anxious to croak,

why wouldn't you hop off
your fire escape long ago?

Because it'd be a coward's
quitting, that's why.

He's all
quitter, Rocky.

He's a yellow
old faker.

You lying punk!
Yeah, keep out of this, you!

Shall I give him
the bum's rush, Larry?

You don't want him around,
nobody else don't.

No, let him stay,I don't mind.
He's nothing to me.

You're right.

I have nowhere I can go now, you're the
only one in the world I can turn to.

Eh, you're a soft
old sap, Larry.

He's a no-good
louse like Hickey.

He don't belong!

I'm all in,
not a wink of sleep.

Larry, I'm sorry
for ridin' you.

But you get my goat when you act as if
you didn't care a damn what happened to me.

And you keep your door locked
so I can't talk to you.

But that was to keep
Hickey out, wasn't it?

I don't blame you, I'm getting
more and more to hate him.

More and more
scared of him.

Especially since he told us
about his wife being dead.

It's that queer feeling he gives me
that I'm mixed up with him in some way.

I don't know why, but it started
me thinking about mother.

As if she
was dead.

I suppose she
might as well be.

It must kill her when
she thinks of me.

I know she doesn't want to,
but... she can't help it.

After all,
I'm her only kid.

You know, Larry...

I once had a sneaking suspicion that,
if the truth were known, you were my father.

You damned fool!

Who put that insane
idea in your head?

Anyone in the coast crowd
could tell I never laid eyes

on your mother 'till
after you were born.

Well, I'd hardly
ask them, would I?

I know you're right,
though, because I asked her.

She brought me up to be frank
and ask her anything.

I was talking about how
she must feel now about me.

My getting through with the Movement.

Oh, she'll never forgive me for that.

That must be the final knockout,
if she knows that I was the one who sold out...

Shut up, damn you!
Shut up.

It'll kill her!
But Larry...

I never thought that they
would have caught her!

Shut up!What the hell is it to me?

What's comin' off here?
Nothing.

This young punk
is talking my ear off.

He's a worse pest
than Hickey.

Oh, yeah, Hickey.

Say, listen, what do you
mean about him being scared

you'd ask him questions?
What questions?

What questions? Well, you noticed he
didn't tell us what his wife died of.

Oh, lay off of that,
the poor guy!

What are you
gettin' at, anyway?

You don't think it's just a gag of his?
No, no I don't.

I'm damned sure he brought
death here with him,

I can smell the cold touch of it upon him.
Oh, bunk.

You got croakin' on
the brain, Old Cemetery.

Say, do you mean you think
she committed suicide

on account of his
cheatin' or something?

It wouldn't surprise me.
But that's crazy.

Jees, if she'd done that, he wouldn't tell us
he was glad about it, would he?

You know her better than that, Larry.
You know she'd never commit suicide.

She's like you, she'll hang on to life even
when there's nothing... And what about you?

Be God, if you had
any guts or decency!

I'd take that hop off the fire escape
you're too yellow to take, I suppose, ah? No!

I'm done with...
Yeah, I suppose you'd like that!

What the hell's
all this about?

What do you know
about Hickey's wife?

How do you know she didn't...?
He doesn't!

Hickey's addled
the little brains he's got.

Shove him back to his table, Rocky.
I'm sick of him.

You heard Larry!
So move, quick.

Gee, Larry... that's
a hell of a way to treat me

after I've trusted you,
and I need your help.

Jees... if she committed suicide,
you gotta feel sorry for Hickey, huh?

You can understand how
he'd go bughouse, and not be

responsible for all the crazy
stunts he's stagin' here.

But how can you be sorry for him when he says
he's glad she croaked? Oh, nuts!

I don't get nowhere
tryin' to figure his game.

He better
lay off of me and my stable.

Hey, Rocky, Cora wants
a sherry flip, for her nerves.

"Sherry flip?"

Christ, she don't need nothin'
for her nerve.

What's she think this is, the Waldorf?
Yeah, I told her.

"What would we use for sherry?"

And there wasn't no egg unless she laid one.

She says, "Is there a law you can't go out"
"and buy the makings, you big tramp?"

Ah, the hell with her!
She'll drink booze or nothin'. Oh, jees!

A guy oughta give his bride anything she
wants on her weddin' day, I should think.

Pipe the bridegroom, Larry!
All dolled up for the killin'. Aw, shut up.

One week on that farm in Jersey,
that's what I'll give you.

And you'll come runnin'
in here some night yellin'

for a shot of booze because
the crickets is after you.

Oh, jees, Chuck, that
louse Hickey's certainly

made a prize couple
of suckers outta you.

I'd like to get a quart
of that redeye under my belt!

Well, why the hell
don't you?

Sure, you'd like that,
wouldn'tyou? I'm wise to you.

You don't wanna see me get married
and settle down, like a regular guy.

You'd like me to stay paralyzed all the time,
so I'd be like you, a lousy pimp!

Listen! I don't take that
even from you, see?

Yeah? You wanna make somethin' of it?
Don't make me laugh!

I can lick ten of you with one mitt!

Not with lead in
your belly, you won't!

Hey you, Rocky
and Chuck, cut it out!

Don't let that Hickey
make you crazy.

Keep out of our business, you black bastard.
Stay where you belong, you dirty nigger!

You white sons of bitches!
I'll rip your guts out!

That's it! Murder each
other, you damned loons!

With Hickey's
blessing!

Didn't I tell you he
brought death with him?

All right, you... let go of that shiv,
and I'll put this gun away.

Hello, little people!
Never mind.

Soon you will eat hot dogs beneath the
willow trees, and drink free wine!

The champagne
was not properly iced.

Goddamned liar,
Hickey!

Does that prove
I want to be aristocrat?

I love only
the proletariat!

I will lead them! I will
be like a God to them!

They will be
my slaves!

I'm very drunk,
no, Larry?

I talk foolishness.

I am so drunk, Larry,
old friend, am I not?

I don't know
what I say.

I've never seen you
so paralyzed.

Now lay your head on
the table and sleep it off.

Yeah, I should sleep...
I'm too crazy drunk.

The bread's cut, and
I have finished my job.

Now, do I get
the drink I earned?

Here's the key
to my room.

I ain't
comin' back!

I'm goin' to my own
folks where I belong.

I'm sick and tired of messin'
around with white men.

What the hell?

I'm only savin' you
the trouble, white boy!

Now you don't have to break it
as soon's my back's turned,

so there's no white man can kick about
drinkin' from the same glass!

I'm tired of loafin' around
with a lot of bums.

I'm a gamblin' man.

I'm gonna get in a big crap game
and win me a big bankroll.

And then I'll get the okay to open up
my old gamblin' house for colored men.

And then maybe I comes back here
sometimes to see the bums.

And maybe I throws a $20 bill down on the
bar and says: "Drink it up," and listen when

they all pat me on the back and say:
"Joe, you sure is white," but I'll say:

"No, I'm black and
my dough is black man's dough!"

"And you's proud to drink with
me or you don't get no drink!"

"You can all go to hell!"

"I don't lower myself
drinkin' with no white trash."

And that ain't
no pipe dream.

I'll get the money for my stake
today, somewhere, somehow.

If I have to borrow a gun and stick up
some white man, I gets it!

You wait and see.

Can you beat the nerve
of that "dinge."

Jees, if I wasn't dressed up I'd go out and
mop up the street with him. Oh, let him go.

The poor old dope, him
and his gamblin' house.

He'll be back tonight askin'
Harry for his room and bummin' me for a ball.

Then I'll be the one
to smash the glass.

I'll loin him
his place.

Another guy
all dolled up.

Got your clothes
from Solly's, huh, Willie?

Now you can sell it back
to him again tomorrow.

No, I-I'm through
with that stuff.

You look sick, Willie; here,
take a ball, will pick you up.

Eh, no thanks, the only way
to stop is to stop.

I'd have no chance if I
went to the D.A.'s office

smelling of booze.
You're really goin' there?

I said I was,
didn't I?

I just came back here
to rest for a few minutes.

I'll show
that cheap drummer!

I don't need to have to have
any Dutch courage.

But he's, he's been very kind
and generous staking me.

You know, my, my
legs are a bit shaky.

I better sit down
a while.

Here's another one.

Hey, good morning,
gentlemen all.

And a jolly good
morning it is, too.

An eye-opener? I think not,
Rocky, old chum... not required, you know?

Feel extremely fit,
as a matter of fact.

Can't say that I slept much, though,
thanks to that interfering ass, Hickey,

and that stupid
bounder of a Boer.

I've had about all I can
take from that fellow.

Oh, well, it's my own
fault, I suppose, for allowing

a brute of a Dutch farmer
to become familiar.

Well, it's come
to a parting of the ways.

And jolly
good riddance.

Oh, that reminds me...
here's my key.

I shan't be coming back.

Sorry to be leaving good old
Harry and the rest of you,

of course, but I simply cannot continue to
live under the same roof with that fellow.

So Hickey's kidded the pants
off of you, too?

You think you're
leavin' here, huh?

Ja! That's what
he kids himself.

Yes, I'm leaving,
Rocky.

Not that that ass, Hickey,
has anything to do with it.

But been thinking
this over, you know?

Time I turned over
a new leaf.

He's gonna get a job,
that's what he says.

What at,
for Christ's sake?

Oh, anything... not manual
labor, of course.

Anything that calls for a bit
of brains and education.

I'll see a pal of mine
at the Consulate.

He promised me whenever I felt an energetic
fit he'd get me a post with the Cunard.

Clark, in the office,
something of that kind.

Ja! At Limey Consulate they promise anything
to get rid of him when he comes there drunk.

They're scared to call the
police and have him pinched,

because it would scandal in the papers make
about a Limey officer and gentleman.

I only need the post
temporarily, Rocky.

Means to an end,
you know.

Save enough for
a passage...

a first-class passage home,
that's the bright idea.

He's sailing back
to home, sweet home!

That's biggest pipe
dream of all!

What little brain
the poor Limey has left

that isn't in whiskey pickled,
Hickey has made crazy!

Hickey ain't made
no sucker out of you, eh?

That longshoreman boss, Dan, he tell me
any time I like, he'd take me on.

And Benny, from de Market,
he promise me same!

You remember, Rocky, it was
one of those rare occasions

when the Boer that walks like a man,
spelled with a double "O", by the way,

was buying drinks when Dan
and Benny were stony.

They'd have promised
him the bloody moon!

Yeah, yuh big boob.

Them birds was only
kiddin' you.

That's lie! You will see,
this morning I get job.

I'll show that... bloody Limey gentleman,
and that liar, Hickey!

And I need work only little while
to save money for my passage home.

I need not much money because I am
not ashamed to travel steerage.

I don't put on
first-cabin airs!

And I can go home
to my country!

When I get there, they
will let me in! Heh!

There was a rumor in South Africa
that a certain Boer officer, if you can call

the leaders of a rabble of Dutch
farmers officers,

he kept advising Cronje to retreat,
and to not stand and fight.

And I was right!
I was right!

He got surrounded
at Poardeberg!

He had to surrender.

Good strategy, no doubt, but a suspicion grew
afterwards into a conviction among the Boers

that the officer's caution was prompted
by a desire for his personal escape.

His countrymen were extremely savage
about it, and his family disowned him.

So I imagine there won't be
any welcoming committee waiting on the dock...

nor any
delighted relatives

making the "veldt" ring with their happy
cries of "Welcome home, Gen. Wet..."

All lies!
You Goddamned Limey!

I also have heard rumors of a Limey officer
who after the war lost all his money

gambling when he
was drunk.

But they found out it was
regiment money, too, he lost!

Ah, you bloody
Dutch scum!

Cut it out!
Let him come!

I saw them come before!
Modder River, Magersfontein,

Spion Kopje, waving their silly swords, so
afraid they couldn't show how brave they was!

And I kill them with
my rifle so easy!

Listen to me,
you Cecil!

Often when I'm drunk
and kidding you I say I'm sorry

I missed you, but now,
by God, I am sober!

- And I don't joke, and I say it!
- Be God!

You can't say Hickey hasn't got
the miraculous touch to raise

the dead, when he can start
the Boer War raging again!

Well... it's time
I was on my merry way.

The early bird catches
the job, what?

Good-bye and good luck,
Rocky, and the rest of you.

By God, if that Limey
can go... I can go.

Well, why don't
you beat it?

Eh? Oh... just
been thinking.

Hardly the decent thing to push off without
saying good-bye to old Harry.

One of the best, old Harry,
and good old Jimmy.

They ought to be
down very soon.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I seem to be
blocking your way out.

No... I will wait to say
good-bye to Harry, too.

Jees, can you beat
them simps!

Oh, hell, I forgot Cora!
She'll be throwin' a fit!

That's right, wait on her
and spoil her, you poor sap!

Psst! Look here,
Parritt.

I'd like to have
a talk with you.

About what?
About the trouble you're in.

Oh, I know, I know,
you don't admit it.

And you're quite right,
that's my advice.

Deny everything, Say,
what the hell are you accusing me of?

Make no statements whatever without consulting
your attorney, keep your mouth shut.

Look, you can trust me,
I'm a lawyer.

And it's occurred to me that
you and I ought to co-operate.

You're crazy, what do I
want with a lawyer?

Yeah, that's right,
don't admit anything.

But you can trust me, so let's
not beat about the bush.

You got in trouble
out on the coast, eh?

Now you're in hiding,
any fool can spot that.

You... feel safe here, and
maybe you are for a while.

But remember, they
get you in the end.

I know, from my
father's experience.

Nobody could have felt
safer than he did.

When anybody mentioned the law
to him, he nearly died laughing.

But...
You crazy mutt!

You hear that, Larry?

This damned fool here thinks
the cops are after me!

I wish to God
they were.

And so should you, if you
had the honor of a louse!

Oh, and you're the guy
who kids himself he's through

with the Movement; you're
still in love with it!

You mean you're not in trouble, Parritt?
I was hoping...Eh, never mind.

No, no offense
meant... Parritt.

That's all right, Willie...
I'm not sore at you.

It's that damned yellow
faker that gets in my goat.

I think I
understand, Larry.

It's really mother that
you still love... isn't it?

In spite of that dirty
deal she gave you.

But what the hell
did you expect?

She was never true to anyone
but herself and the Movement.

But Larry, I can, I can understand
how you still can't help feeling.

See, because I still
love her too.

So you see, I couldn't have
expected that they'd catch her, Larry.

You gotta believe me that I
only sold them out just to get

a few lousy dollars
to blow in on a whore.

Now there's no other reason, honest!

For the love of Christ,
will you leave me in peace!

If you don't keep still, you'll
be saying something soon

that will make you vomit your own soul like a
drink of nickel rotgut that won't stay down!

Larry, don't go!
You've got to help me!

Set 'em up, Rocky! I swore
I'd have no more drinks

on Hickey, if I died of drought,
but I've changed my mind!

Be God, he
owed it to me!

I'd be blind to the world now, if it was
the Iceman of Death himself treating.

What made me say
that, I wonder.

Oh, my God, it fits, for Death was
the iceman that Hickey called to his home.

Oh, forget
the iceman gag!

Come and sit
here, Mac.

You're just the man
I wanna see.

If I'm to take your case, we ought to have a
talk before we leave. There'll be no talk.

You damned fool, do you think I'd have
your father's son for my lawyer?

They'd take one look at you
and bounce us both out on our necks.

Hmm!
I don't need a lawyer, anyway.

Hell with the law!

All I've got to do is see the right ones,
get them to pass the word.

They will, too,
they know I was framed.

And once the word is passed,
it's as good as done, law or no law!

Here's my key,
Rocky.

I'd rather sleep
in the gutter than spend

another night under the same
roof as that drummer.

Son of a drummer!
Well, you birds give me a pain.

Well, here we are, we got
this far at least.

Good work, Jimmy.

I told you you weren't half as
sick as you're pretending to be.

No excuse whatever
for postponing now.

Kindly keep your hands
to yourself.

I merely mentioned
I would feel more fit tomorrow.

But... it might as well
be today, I suppose.

Finish it now so it'll be dead
forever, and you'll be free.

Well, cheer up,
Harry.

You noticed your rheumatism didn't bother you
coming down the stairs, didn't you?

You're the damnedest
one for alibis, Governor.

I can't hear you...
You're a liar!

I've had rheumatism
on and off for 20 years.

Ever since Bessie died. Yes, we all know it's
the kind of rheumatism you turn on and off.

We're on to you,
you old faker!

Bejees, what are all you bums
hanging round staring at me for?

Why don't you get
the hell out of here

and 'tend to your own business,
like Hickey's told you?

Yes, Harry, I certainly
thought they would have

had the guts to have
been gone by this time.

Or maybe I did
have my doubts.

Because I know exactly
what you're up against, boys.

I know you'll turn into such
a coward that you'll grab

at any lousy excuse not
to kill your pipe dreams.

And yet, as I've said
over and over again,

it's exactly those damned
lying tomorrow dreams

that keep you from
making peace with yourself.

So you've got to kill them,
like I did mine.

Well, come on,
boys, get moving!

Who's going to start
the ball rolling?

Well you, captain,
and you, general.

You're nearest
to the door.

And besides, you're old war heroes.
You ought to lead this forlorn hope.

Well, come on, now!

And show us a little of that old Battle of
The Modder River spirit we've heard so much about.

You can't hang around here all day looking like
you were scared the street outside would bite you.

By God, if that
Limey can, I can.

Well, next?

Come on, Mac.

It's a fine
summer's day.

That's the stuff,
Mac.

Good-bye, Harry, thanks
for all your kindness.

That's
the way, Willie.

Oh, the D.A.'s
a busy man, Willie.

You can't keep him waiting
all day, you know.

Good luck,
Willie.

Now it's your turn,
Jimmy, old pal.

Jimmy.

You can't do that to yourself,
Jimmy, old pal!

One drink on top of your hangover
on an empty stomach, you'll be oreyeyed.

Tomorrow... I'll be
in good shape tomorrow!

All right,
I'm going.

Take your hands
off me!

Dirty swine!

All set for
an alcohol rub!

I... no hard feelings,
I know how he feels.

I wrote the book!
I've seen the day if...

anybody forced me to face the truth about
my pipe dreams, I'd have shot them dead!

Well, Governor...
Jimmy made the grade.

Now it's your turn.

Leave Harry
alone, damn you!

I'd make up my mind about myself if I
were you, Larry, and not bother over Harry.

He doesn't need anyone's bum
pity, do you, Governor?

No, bejees! Keep your nose
out of this, Larry.

I've always been going
to take this walk, ain't I?

You bums want to keep me locked
up in here as if I was in jail!

I've stood it
long enough.

I'll do as I
damned please, bejees.

You keep your nose
out too, Hickey.

Bejees, you'd think you was
the boss of this dump, not me.

What the hell's
to be scared of?

Sure I'm all right! Just taking
a stroll around my own ward.

What's the weather like outside, Rocky?
Fine day, boss.

Sorry I can't hear you.

Don't look fine
to me.

Looks if it'd pour down
cats and dogs any minute.

My rheumati...
No, no, must be my eyes.

Half blind, bejees.

Makes things look black;
I see now it's a fine day.

Too damned hot for a walk,
though, if you ask me, eh?

Well, do me good to sweat
the booze out of me.

But I'll have to watch out
for the damned automobiles.

Wasn't none of them
around the last time.

From what I've seen through the window,
they'd run over you as soon as look at you.

Well,
so long.

Bejees, where are you, Hickey?
It's time we got started.

No, no, Harry,
can't be done.

You got to keep a date
with yourself alone.

Hell of a guy
you are.

I thought you'd be willing
to help me across the street,

seeing I'm half blind!
Half "deef," too.

I can't hear those
damned automobiles!

Oh, the hell
with you!

I've never, never needed
no one's help and I don't now.

I'll take a good long walk
now I've started.

See all my old friends.

Bejees, they must have
given me up for dead.

But they know it was grief over
Bessie's death that made me...

Well, the sooner
I get started...

You know, Hickey,
that's what gets me.

I can't help thinking the last time
I went out, was to Bessie's funeral.

After she'd gone, I didn't
feel life was worth living.

I can't feel it's right for me
to go, even now, Hickey.

It's like I was doing
wrong to her memory.

Now, Governor, you can't let yourself
get away with that one any more.

What's that?
I can't hear you.

Bejees, I remember... clear as
day, the last time before she...

It was a fine
Sunday morning.

We went out
to church together.

It's a great act, Governor,
but I know better and so do you.

You never did want to go to church
or any place else with her.

She was always on your neck,
wanting you to have ambition

and go out and do things, when all you
wanted to do was to get drunk in peace.

Can't hear a word
you're saying.

He's a God damned
liar, anyway!

Bejees, you son of a bitch!
If there was a mad dog out there

I'd go and shake hands with it
rather than stay here with you!

Jees, he made it!

I'd give you 50 to 1
he'd never...

Oh, he stopped.

I'll bet you he's comin' back.
Of course he's coming back.

By tonight they'll all be here again,
you dumbbell, that's the whole point.

No, he ain't neither!
He's gone to the curb.

He's lookin' up and down,
scared stiff of automobiles.

They ain't more than two an hour
comes down this street, the old boob!

Bejees, give me
a drink, quick!

Scared me out
of a year's growth!

Bejees, that guy
ought to be pinched!

Bejees, it ain't safe
to walk in the streets!

Give me that bottle.

You seen it, didn't you, Rocky?
Seen what?

That automobile,
you dumb Wop!

Fella driving it must
be drunk or crazy.

He'd run right over me
if I hadn't jumped!

Larry, have
a drink.

Come on, everybody,
have a drink.

Have a cigar, Rocky, I know
you hardly touch it.

This is one time
I do touch it!

And I'm goin'
to get stinko, see?

Well, jees, Harry! I thought
you had some guts!

I was bettin' you'd make it
and show that four-flusher up.

Automobile, hell! Who
do you think you're kiddin'?

There was no automobile!
You just quit cold!

I guess I ought to know!
Bejees, it almost killed me!

Now, now, Governor,
don't be foolish.

You've faced the test
and you've come through,

and you're rid of that nagging dream stuff now.
You know you can't believe it any more.

You saw it,
didn't you, Larry?

Have a drink, have another!
Have all you want!

We'll, we'll go, go on a
grand old souse together.

You saw that automobile,
didn't you?

Sure, I saw it, Harry,
you had a narrow escape.

Be God, I thought
you were a goner.

What the hell are you
doing, Larry?

Remember what I told you about the wrong
kind of pity, now leave him alone!

You'd think I was trying to harm
him, the fool way you act.

Why, there isn't anything I wouldn't do
for Harry, and he knows it.

All I wanted was to fix it so he'd finally be
at peace with himself.

And if you'll just wait until
the final returns are in,

that's exactly what
I've accomplished.

Come on, Governor, what's the use of being
stubborn, now when it's over and dead?

Give up that ghost
automobile.

Yeah, what's
the use now?

It's all a lie...
no automobile.

Bejees, something
ran over me.

Must have been
myself, I guess.

I guess
I'll sit down.

Feel all in.

Like a corpse,
bejees.

Hello, Hugo,
coming up for air?

You stay passed out,
that's the right dope.

There ain't any cool willow trees,
except you grow your own in a bottle.

Hello, Harry.

Stupid proletarian
monkey-face!

Here... have
a drink, Hugo.

Eh, no,
thank you.

I'm too crazy drunk... I hear
myself say crazy things.

Do not listen,
please!

Larry will tell you,
I've never been so crazy drunk.

I must
sleep it off.

What's the matter,
Harry? You look funny.

You look dead!

What's happened?
I don't know you!

Listen... I feel
I'm dying, too.

Because I'm
so crazy drunk.

It's very necessary
that I sleep!

I can't sleep
here with you!

You look dead!

Another one who's begun
to enjoy your peace.

Oh, I know it's rough on him
right now, same as it is on Harry.

That's just
the first shock.

I promise you they'll both be all right.
And you believe that?

I'm afraid
to live, am I?

And even more
afraid to die!

So I sit here with my pride drowned on the bottom of a bottle,

keeping drunk so I won't see
myself shaking in my britches with fright,

or hear myself whining and praying:

"Beloved Christ, let me live
a little longer at any price.

"If it's only for a few days
more, or a few hours even,

"have mercy, Almighty God,
and let me still clutch greedily

"to my yellow heart,
this sweet treasure,

"this jewel beyond price,this dirty,
stinking bit of withered old flesh which

is my beautiful little life!"

You think you'll make me
admit that to myself?

But you just did
admit it, didn't you?

That's the stuff,
Hickey.

Show that
old yellow faker up.

He can't play dead
on me like this.

Yes, you're gonna have
to settle with him, Larry.

I'm leaving you
entirely in his hands.

And he'll do as good a job as I could at
making you give up the old grandstand bluff.

How's it coming,
Governor?

Beginning to feel
free, aren't you?

Relieved and not
guilty any more?

Hmm, bejees! You must have been monkeying
with the booze too, you interfering bastard!

There's no life
in it now.

I wanna get drunk
and pass out.

I'll admit I didn't think
it'd hit him so hard.

He's always been a happy-go-lucky slob,
like I was.

Well, it hit me hard, too,
but only for a minute.

And then I felt as if a ton of guilt
had been lifted off my mind.

I saw what had happened was the only
possible way for the peace of all concerned.

What was it happened?
Tell us that.

And don't try to get out of it,
I want a straight answer!

I think it's something you
drove someone else to do.

"Someone else?"

What did your wife
die of?

You've kept that
a deep secret.

That's not very
considerate of you, Larry.

But if you insist on knowing now,
there's no reason you shouldn't.

It was a bullet through the head
that killed poor Evelyn.

Who, who
the hell cares?

The hell with her and that
nagging old hag, Bessie!

Christ! You had
the right dope, Larry.

You drove your poor wife
to suicide, I knew it.

Be God, I don't blame her! I'd almost do
the same thing myself to get rid of you.

It's what you'd like
to drive us all to...

I'm sorry, Hickey,
I'm sorry.

I'm a rotten louse
to throw that in your face.

Oh, that's
all right, Larry.

But don't jump
to conclusions.

I didn't say poor Evelyn
committed suicide.

That's the last thing she'd
have done, while I was

still alive so she could take
care of me and forgive me.

No, if you'd known her at all,
you'd never have such a crazy suspicion.

No, I'm sorry to tell you
that my poor wife was killed.

She was murdered?

You're a
liar, Larry!

You must be crazy
to say that to me.

You know damn well
she's still alive.

"Murdered?"
Who done it?

Shut up, you dumb Wop! It's none
of our damned business!

Leave him alone.

Still the old
grandstand bluff?

Or just some more
bum pity?

The police don't know
who killed her yet, Rocky.

But I expect they will
before very long.

How's it coming,
Governor?

Getting over
the first shock?

Beginning to feel free of guilt
and lying hopes, and at peace with yourself?

Somebody croaked
your Evelyn, eh?

Bejees, my bets
are on the iceman!

But who
the hell cares?

Let's get drunk
and pass out.

Bejees, what did you do
to the booze, Hickey?

There's no damned
life left in it.

Larry, don't look
like that.

You've got to believe what I told you!
It had nothing to do with her!

It was for a few
lousy dollars, honest!

You're beginning
to worry me, Governor.

Something is holding you up somewhere,
but I don't see why.

You've faced the truth
about yourself.

You've done what you had to do
to kill your nagging pipe dreams.

Oh, I know it
knocks you cold.

But only for a minute.

Then you'll see it was the
only possible way to peace.

And you'll feel happy,
like I did.

That's what worries me
about you, Governor.

It's time you began
to feel happy.

1,30 A M-THE FOLLOWING MORNING

Come on, you
damned nigger!

Beat it in the back room,
it's after hours.

Oh, the hell with it!
Let the dump get pinched.

I'm through with this
lousy job, anyway.

Been scrappin',
huh?

Started off on your periodical, ain't you?
Yeah, ain't you glad?

That I'm out on my feet
holdin' down your job?

You said if I'd take your day,
you'd relieve me at 6:00.

And here it's
1/2 past 1:00 A.M.!

Well, you're takin'
over now, get me?

No matter how plastered you are!
Ah, "plastered?" Hell, I wish I was!

I've lapped up a gallon,
but it don't hit me right.

And the hell with the job!
I'm goin' to tell Harry I'm quittin'!

Yeah?
Well, I'm quittin' too.

I've played sucker for that
crummy blonde long enough,

lettin' her kid me into workin';
from now on I take it easy.

I'm glad you're gettin'
some sense.

Yeah, I hope you're
gettin' some.

By the way, the prize
sap you've been,

tendin' bar when you got two
good hustlers in your stable.

Yeah, but I ain't
no sap now.

I'll loin them, when they
get back from Coney.

Jees, that Cora sure
played you for a dope.

Feedin' you that
marriage-on-a-farm hop!

Yeah, Hickey got it right,
a lousy pipe dream.

My pig's in the
back room, ain't she?

I wanna collect the dough
I wouldn't take this mornin',

like a sucker,
before she blows it.

I'm comin', too,
I'm through workin'.

I ain't no
lousy bartender.

I'm waitin', baby, dig!
Yeah.

I been expectin' you,
I got it all ready here.

Jees, imagine me kiddin' myself I wanted to
marry a drunken pimp. That's nothin', baby.

Imagine what a sap I'd have been when I
can get your dough just as easy without it.

Hello,
Old Cemetery.

Hello, Tightwad,
you still around?

Ask Larry.

He knows I'm here, all right,
although he's pretending not to.

He'd like to forget
I'm alive!

He's trying to kid himself
with that grandstand philosopher stuff.

I guess he got looking
at the fire escape.

Thinking how handy it was, if he was really
sick of life and only had the nerve to die!

And he's been thinking
about me too, Rocky.

He's trying to figure a way
to get out of helping me.

He loved her too, so he thinks I ought
to take a hop off the fire escape.

For God's sake!
Can't you say something?!

Larry!

Larry... I think what
Hickey must have done

has got me so I don't know
any more what I did or why.

I can't go
on like this!

I've got to do
what I got to do!

God damn you! Are you trying
to make me your executioner?

Execution?

Then you, you
think I...

I don't think anything.

Hickey's right about
him, isn't he, Rocky?

An old no-good drunken tramp, as dumb as he
is, ought to take a hop off the fire escape.

Sure, why don't he?
Or you, or me?

Oh, what the hell's
the difference? Who cares?

What am I doin' here
with "youse" two?

I remember I had somethin'
on my mind to tell you, what?

Oh, I got it now.

I was thinkin' how you
was both regular guys.

I thinks "Ain't two guys
like them saps to be hangin'"

"around like a couple of stew
bums and wastin' themselves?"

What do you think, Parritt?
You ain't a bad-lookin' guy.

You could easy make some gal
who's a good hustler, and start a stable.

And I'll help you and wise you up
to the inside dope on the game.

Well,
what about it?

What if they do
call you a pimp?

I don't want anything
to do with whores!

I wish they were all
in jail or dead!

All right,
stay a bum!

Well, how about you,
Larry? You ain't dumb.

Sure, you're old,
but that don't matter.

All the girls think
you're aces.

They fall for you like you were their uncle
or old man, or somethin'.

They like takin'
care of you.

And the cops around here,
they like you too.

You wouldn't have to worry where the next
drink's comin' from, or wear dirty clothes.

Well... don't it
look good to you?

No, it doesn't
look good, Rocky.

I mean, the peace
Hickey's brought you.

It isn't contented enough, if you have to
make a pimp of everyone else.

I'm a sap to waste
my time on you.

A stew bum
is a stew bum.

Like I was sayin' to Chuck,
if anyone asks you,

you don't know nothin'
about Hickey, get me?

You never even heard
he had a wife.

Jees, we all ought to get drunk
and stage a celebration

when that bastard
goes to the chair.

Be God, I'll
celebrate with you.

Drink to his long,
long life in hell.

The poor devil!

No, that's pity,
the wrong kind.

He'll welcome
the chair.

Yes, what are you so damned
scared about death for?

I don't want
your lousy pity.

I hope he don't
come back, Larry.

We don't know
nothin' now.

We're only
guessin', see?

But if that bastard
keeps on talkin'...

He'll come back and
he'll keep on talking.

He's lost his confidence
that the peace he's sold us

is the real McCoy, and it's
made him uneasy about his own.

He'll have to prove to us...
That's a damned lie, Larry.

I haven't lost
confidence.

By God, when I made up my mind
to sell someone something

I thought they ought
to want, I've sold 'em.

I mean, I don't think is very
kind of you to make that kind

of a crack when I've been
doing my best to help.

Keep away from me,
will you?

I don't know nothin'
about you, see?

Well, how is it
coming, everybody?

I'm sorry I had to leave you
for a little while,

but there was something
I had to get finally settled.

It's all fixed now.

When are you going to do somethin'
about this booze, Hickey? We can't pass out,

and you
promised us peace!

Yes, yes!
I wonder why that is.

For God's sake, Harry! You're still
harping on that same damn nonsense?

You've kept it up
all afternoon and night,

and you got everybody else
singing the same crazy tune!

I've had about all I can
stand, that's why I phoned.

Excuse me, boys and girls,
I-I don't mean that.

It's just that I worry about you
when you play dead on me like this.

I was hoping by the time I got back
you'd be like you ought to be.

I thought you were deliberately
holding back on me before

when I was here, because
you didn't want to give me

the satisfaction of showing
me that I had the right dope!

And I did have,
I know from my own experience.

But I've explained that
a million times.

Now you've all done
what you needed to do.

By rights you should be
contented with yourself, and

free from the lying hopes and
nagging dreams that torment you.

But here you are, sitting around like
a lot of stiffs cheating the undertaker!

I can't figure it...

unless it's just your damned
stubborn pigheadedness.

Oh, hell... don't act
like this with me, gang!

You're my old pals,
the only friends I've got!

You know, the one thing that I want
is to see you happy before I go.

And there's damned
little time left now.

I've made a date
for 2:00 o'clock.

So, we've got to get busy right
away and find out what's wrong!

Can't you appreciate what
you've got, for God's sake?

Don't you see you're free to be yourselves
now, without feeling remorse or guilt,

or having to lie to yourselves
about reforming tomorrow?

Don't you see?
There is no tomorrow now!

You're rid of it forever,
you've killed it!

You don't have to care
a damn about anything any more!

You've finally got the game of
life licked, don't you see that?

Then why the hell don't you get
drunk and sing "Sweet Adeline"?

Why don't you laugh and
celebrate, and get pie-eyed?

The only reason I can think
of is you're putting on

this rotten half-dead act just to get
back at me, because you hate my guts.

God, don't do
that, gang!

It makes me feel like hell
to think that you hate me.

Makes me feel that you
suspected that I hated you.

But that is a lie!

Oh, I know I used to hate
everybody in the world

that wasn't as rotten a bastard as I was,
but that's when I was still living in hell!

Before I faced
the truth.

And saw the one possible way
to free poor Evelyn,

and give her the peace that
she'd always dreamed about.

Oh, put a bag over it!
To hell with Evelyn.

What if she
was cheatin'?

And who cares what you did
to her? That's your funeral.

We don't give
a damn, see?

All we want outta you is keep
the hell away from us and give us a rest!

The one possible way to make up to her
for all that I made her go through,

and get her rid of me so that I
couldn't make her suffer any more,

and she wouldn't have
to forgive me again.

I saw I couldn't do it by killing myself,
like I wanted to for a long time.

That would have been
the last straw for her.

She'd have died of a broken heart
to think that I could do that to her.

She'd have blamed
herself, too.

Or I just couldn't
run away from her.

She'd have died of grief and humiliation
if I'd done that to her.

She'd have thought
I stopped loving her.

You see... Evelyn
loved me, and I loved her.

That was the trouble.

Oh, it would have been easy to find a way out
if she hadn't loved me so much.

Or if I hadn't
loved her.

But as it was, there was
only one possible way.

I had to kill her.

Mad fool! Can't you
keep your mouth shut?

We may hate you for what
you've done this time,

but we remember the old times,
when you brought laughter

and kindness here
instead of death!

We don't want to know things
that will make us help send you to the chair!

Oh, shut up!

You yellow faker! Can't
you face anything?

Wouldn't I deserve
the chair too if I...

It's, it's worse if you kill someone
and they have to go on living.

I'd be glad
of the chair.

It'd wipe it out and
square me with myself.

I wish you'd get rid
of that bastard, Larry.

I can't have him pretending there's something
in common between him and me.

It's what's in your
heart that counts.

And there was love
in my heart, not hate.

You're a liar!

I don't hate her!
I couldn't!

And anyway, it had nothing to do with her!
You ask Larry!

God damn you, stop shoving
your rotten soul in my lap!

Don't worry about
the chair, Larry.

I know you're still
terrified by death.

But when you've made peace with yourself,
like I have, you won't give a damn.

Listen, everybody.

I've made up my mind, the only
way I can clear this up for you,

so you'll realize how contented
and carefree you ought to feel,

now that I've made you
get rid of your pipe dreams,

is to show you what a pipe dream
did to me and Evelyn.

And I'm certain, if I tell you
about it from the beginning,

you'll appreciate what I've
done for you and why I did it.

And how damned grateful you ought to be,
instead of hating me.

You see, even as
kids, Evelyn and me...

All we want is to pass out and get drunk,
and a little peace!

All right, if that's
the way you feel!

I don't want to cram
it down your throats!

I don't need to tell anyone,
I don't feel guilty.

I'm only worried
about you.

In the back room
if you wanna drink.

A guy named Hickman
in the back room?

Think I know the names... Listen, you!
This is murder.

It was Hickman himself who phoned in and said
we'd find him here around 2:00.

So that's who
he phoned to.

Yeah, he's in there, and if you want
a confession all you got to do is listen.

You can't stop
the bastard talkin'.

You see, even as a kid
I was always restless.

I had to keep
on the go.

You've heard the old saying
that "Ministers' sons are sons of guns?"

Well,
that was me and then some.

Home was like a jail.

Listening to my old man whooping
up hell fire and scaring

those Hoosier suckers into
shelling out their dough

only handed me a laugh! Although
I gotta to hand it to him,

the way he sold them
nothing for something.

I guess I take after him, and that's what
made me a good salesman;

well, like I said, home was like jail, and so was school,
and so was that damned hick town.

The only places I liked were the pool halls,
where I could smoke Sweet Caporals

and mop up
a couple of beers, eh?

Thinking I was a
hell-on-wheels sport.

We had one hooker
shop in town.

Of course I
liked that, too.

Not that I hardly ever
had the entrance money.

My old man was
a tight old bastard.

But I liked to sit around in the
parlor and joke with the girls.

And they liked me too,
because I kid 'em along and make 'em laugh.

And you know how
a small town is.

Everybody
got wise to me.

They said I was a no-good tramp,
but I didn't give a damn what they said.

I hated everybody
in the place.

That is,
except Evelyn.

And I loved Evelyn,
even as a kid.

And Evelyn loved me.

Larry, I loved mother!
No matter what she did!

I still do! Yes, sir, as far back as I can
remember, Evelyn and I loved each other.

She always
stood out for me.

She wouldn't believe the gossip,
or she pretended she wouldn't.

No one could convince her
that I was no good.

Evelyn was stubborn as hell
once she made up her mind.

You know, even when I'd admit
things and ask her forgiveness,

she'd make excuses for me
and defend me against myself.

And she'd kiss me,
she'd say that she knew

that I wouldn't do it again
and I said that I wouldn't.

And I'd promise,
I'd have to promise.

She was so damn
sweet and good.

Yet I knew
darned well...

No, sir, you couldn't
stop Evelyn!

Nothing on Earth could
shake her faith in me!

Even I couldn't!

She was a sucker
for a pipe dream.

Well, naturally, her family
forbid her seeing me.

They were one of the town's
best, rich for that hick burg.

They owned the trolley line
and the lumber company.

Strict Methodists, too;
oh, did they hate my guts!

Even they couldn't
stop Evelyn.

And she'd sneak notes to me
and we'd meet me on the side.

But I was getting
more restless.

The town was getting
more like a jail.

I made up my mind
to beat it.

I knew exactly what I wanted
to be by that time.

I met a lot of drummers around
the hotel, and I liked 'em.

They were always
telling jokes, eh?

They were sports, always on
the move, I liked their life.

And I knew I could kid people
and sell things.

The hitch was, how to get the
railroad fare to the Big Town?

Hell, I... I told
Mollie Arlington my trouble.

She was the Madame
of the cathouse.

She liked me.

"Hell, I'll stake you, kid.

"I'll bet on you, with that grin
of yours and that line of bull

you ought to be able to sell
skunks for good ratters."

Yeah, Mollie
was all right.

She made me feel
confident in myself.

Well, I paid her back too,
first money I earned.

I remember sending her
a kidding letter saying

that I was peddling
baby carriages, and she

and the girls had better
get in on our bargain offer!

That's getting
ahead of my story.

That last night
before I left town...

I had a date
with Evelyn.

I got all worked up.

She was so pretty
and sweet and good.

I told her straight.

"You better forget me,
Evelyn, for your own sake."

"I'm no good
and I never will be."

And I broke down
and cried.

And she just said, looking white and scared:
"Why, Teddy, don't you still love me?"

"Love you?

"God, Evelyn, I love you more
than anything in the world.

And I always will."

She said:"Nothing matters, Teddy."

"Because nothing but death
could stop my loving you.

"So when you're ready you send
for me, and we'll be married.

"And I know I can
make you happy, Teddy.

"And when you're happy,
you won't want to do

any of those bad things
you've done any more."

"Of course
I won't, Evelyn."

And I meant it,
I believed it.

I loved her so much she could
make me believe anything.

You married her, you caught
her cheating with the iceman,

and you croaked her, and all we want
is to pass out in peace, bejees!

So I beat it
to the Big Town!

I got a job easy, it was a cinch for me
to make good, I had the knack.

It was like a game, sizing people up quick,
spotting what their pet pipe dreams were,

and then kidding 'em
along that line.

Pretending you believed what they wanted
to believe about themselves.

Then they liked you,
they trusted you.

They want to buy something
to show their gratitude.

It was fun!

But still, all the while
I felt guilty, as though

I shouldn't be having such
a good time away from Evelyn.

In each of my letters I'd
tell her how I missed her,

but I'd warn her, too;
I'd tell her about my faults.

How I liked my booze every now
and then, and so on.

But you couldn't shake Evelyn's belief in me,
or her dreams about the future.

And then after each one of her letters,
I'd be as full of faith as she was.

So when I got enough saved to start us off,
I sent for her and we got married.

Christ, wasn't I
happy for a while!

And wasn't she happy.

I don't care what anybody says,
I'll bet there were never

two people who loved each
other more than me and Evelyn.

Not only then,
but ever afterwards.

In spite of everything I did.

Well, it's all there at the start,
everything that happened afterwards.

Though I never could
learn to handle temptation.

I'd want to reform
and mean it.

Then I'd promise her, and I'd promise myself,
and I'd believe it.

"It's the last time, Evelyn."

"I know it's
the last time, Teddy."

"You'll never
do it again."

And that's what
made it so hard!

That's what made me
feel such a rotten skunk!

Her always
forgiving me.

My playing around
with women, for instance.

It was just a harmless
good time to me.

It didn't mean anything,
but I'd know what it meant to her!

So I'd swear
to myself "Never again."

But you know how it is, traveling around,
those damned hotel rooms.

You get to seeing things
in the wall paper.

I'd get so damn bored,
so lonely and homesick.

But at the same time,
sick of home.

I'd feel free, I'd want
to celebrate a little.

Well, I never drank on the job
so it had to be dames, any tart.

What I'd want was some tramp that I
could be myself with, without being ashamed.

Someone I could tell a
dirty joke to and she'd laugh!

Jees... all the lousy jokes
I've had to listen to and pretend was funny.

Sometimes I'd try a joke that I thought
was a real corker on Evelyn!

And she'd always
make herself laugh.

But I could tell she thought
it was dirty and not funny.

And she always knew about the tarts that
I'd been with when I came home from a trip.

She'd kiss me and look
in my eyes, and she'd know.

And I could see in her eyes
her not wanting to know.

"Even if
it is true, he can't help it."

"They tempt him, he's
lonely, he hasn't got me.

"It's only his body,
he doesn't love them.

"I'm the only one he loves,"
and she was right, too!

I never loved anyone else!
Couldn't if I wanted to.

She forgave me even when it all
had to come out in the open.

You know how it is when you
keep taking chances.

You may be lucky for a long time,
but you'll get nicked in the end.

I picked up a nail
from some tart in Altoona.

Yeah, and she picked it up
from some guy.

It's all in the game.

I had to do a lot of lying and stalling
when I got home, but it didn't do any good.

The quack I went to got all my dough, and
he told me I was cured, and I believed him.

But I wasn't...
and poor Evelyn.

But she did her best to make me
believe that she fell for my lie

about how... traveling men get things
from drinking cups on... on trains.

Anyway, she
forgave me.

The same way she forgave me every time
I'd show up after a periodical drunk!

And you all knew what I'd look like
after one of those, you saw me!

Like something lying in the gutter that no
alley cat would lower himself to drag in!

Something they threw out of
the D.T. ward at Bellevue!

Along with the garbage,
something that should be dead!

But isn't.

Evelyn wouldn't have heard
from me in a month or more.

She'd been waiting
there alone.

The neighbors feeling sorry for her out loud
and shaking their heads.

That was until she got me
to move to the outskirts,

where there weren't
any next-door neighbors.

Then the door would open...
and I'd stumble...

looking like
what I've just said.

Into her home, that she always
kept so... spotless and clean.

And I'd sworn it would
never happen again!

And now I'd have to start swearing again
that this was the last time!

I could see disgust having a battle in
her eyes with love, but love always won!

She'd make her-self...
kiss me!

As though nothing
had happened.

As though I'd just come home
from a business trip.

She'd never complain
or bawl me out.

Christ, can you imagine what a
guilty skunk she made me feel!

If only once she admitted that
her pipe dream about tomorrow,

and my behaving myself
would never be any good!

But she wouldn't!

She was stubborn
as hell!

Once she'd set her mind on
anything, you couldn't shake

her faith that it had
to come true tomorrow!

It was the same old story, over
and over, for years and years.

And it kept piling up,
inside her and inside me.

God, can you picture
what I made her suffer?

And all the guilt that
she made me feel?

And how I
hated myself?

If she only hadn't been
so damned good!

If she'd been the same kind
of wife that I was a husband.

God, sometimes I used
to pray that she'd...

"Go on, why don't you, Evelyn?"

"Serve me right, I wouldn't
mind, I'd forgive you."

Of course I'd pretend
I was kidding.

The same way I used to joke here
about her being in the hay with the iceman.

She'd have felt so hurt
if I'd said it seriously.

She'd have thought
I'd stopped loving her.

I suppose you think I'm a liar,
that no woman could have stood

all she stood
and still loved me so much.

That it isn't human for a woman
to be so pitying and forgiving!

Well, I am not lying!

And if you'd ever seen her,
you'd realize that I wasn't.

It was written all over her face:
Sweetness, love, pity, forgiveness.

Although, wait,
I'll... show you.

I always carry
her picture.

No, I'm forgetting...
I tore it up afterwards.

I didn't need it
any more.

Jees, Hickey!
Jees!

I burnt up mother's
picture, Larry.

Her eyes kept following me around all the time.
They seemed to be wishing I was dead!

It kept piling up,
like I've said.

I got so I thought
about it all the time.

And I hated myself more and more,

thinking of all the wrong I'd done to the sweetest
woman in the world that loved me so much!

It even got so I'd curse
myself for a lousy bastard

every time I saw
myself in the mirror!

I felt such pity for her
it drove me crazy!

You'd never believe
it, would you, Larry?

A guy like me that's knocked around so much
could feel such pity!

It got so
every night I'd...

wind up hiding my face in her lap,
bawling and begging for forgiveness.

Of course she'd always
comfort me and say:

"Never mind, Teddy,
I know you won't ever again."

Christ,
I loved her so.

But I began to hate
that pipe dream!

I began to think
I was going bughouse!

Because sometimes I couldn't
forgive her for forgiving me!

I even caught myself hating her
for making me hate myself so much!

You know, there's a limit to the guilt you can feel
and the forgiveness and pity you can take!

You have to begin blaming
somebody else, too!

It got so...

sometimes, when she'd kiss me,
it was like she was doing it on purpose...

to humiliate me...

as if she'd spit
in my face!

But I saw how crazy
and rotten that was of me!

And I just hated
myself more and more!

You'd never believe that I could
hate so much!

Ah, Larry? A good-natured,
happy-go-lucky... slob like me.

As the time got nearer to
when I was due to come here

for my drunk around Harry's
birthday, I got nearly crazy.

I kept swearing to her every night that this
time I really wouldn't, until I'd made it

a real final test
to myself and to her!

And she kept encouraging me and saying:
"I can see you really mean it now, Teddy."

"I know you'll conquer it this
time, and we'll be so happy."

And when she'd say
that, and kiss me...

I'd believe
it, too.

Then she'd go to bed,
and I'd stay up because I couldn't sleep.

And I didn't want to disturb her, rolling and
twisting around; I'd get so damned lonely!

I'd get to thinking
how peaceful it was here.

Sitting around with
the old gang, getting drunk

and forgetting about love; laughing and
singing and joking, and swapping lies.

And finally I knew
I had to come.

And I knew if I came this time,
it would be the finish!

Because I'd never have
the guts to go back

and be forgiven again! And that
would break Evelyn's heart.

Because to her
that would mean...

I didn't love
her any more.

That last night I'd driven myself crazy
trying to figure a way out for her.

I went into
the bedroom.

I was going to tell her
it was the end.

But I couldn't
do that to her.

She was sound asleep.

And I thought "God, if only she'd"
"never wake up, she'd never know."

And then it came to me.

The one possible way out,
for her sake.

I remembered I'd given
her a gun for protection

while I was away...
it was in the bureau drawer.

She'd never feel any pain, she'd
never wake up from her dream.

So I...

so I killed her.

I may as well
confess, Larry.

There's no use lying any more;
you know, anyway.

I didn't give a damn about the money,
it was because I hated her.

And then I saw that I'd always known
that was the only possible way

to give her peace, and free her
from the misery of loving me.

And I saw it meant peace for me,
too, knowing she was at peace.

I felt as though a ton of guilt
was lifted off my mind.

I remember I stood by the bed
and suddenly I had to laugh.

I couldn't help it, and I knew
Evelyn would forgive me!

I remember I heard
myself speaking to her,

as though it was something that
I'd always wanted to say:

"Well, you know what you can do with your
pipe dream now," "you damned bitch!"

No!
I never... Yes, yes, that's it!

Her and that damned Movement pipe dream!
Eh, Larry? No, that's a lie!

Good God, I could
have never said that!

If I had, I'd have
gone insane!

Why, I loved Evelyn better
than anything in life!

Boys, you're
all my old pals!

You've known old
Hickey for years!

You know that
I could never...

Harry! Harry, you've known me
longer than anybody else!

You know that I must have been
insane! Don't you, Governor?

Who the hell cares?

"Insane?"

You mean you went really insane?
Yes!

Or I couldn't have laughed! I
couldn't have said that to her!

That's enough,
Hickman!

You know who we are,
you're under arrest.

Come along and spill your guts where...
Don't touch me!

You owe me a break! I phoned and made it
easy for you, didn't I? Just a few minutes!

Harry, you know I couldn't say
that to Evelyn, don't you?

Unless...
And you've been crazy ever since?

Everything you've said and done here...
Now, Governor!

Up to your
old tricks, eh?

I see what you're
driving at, but I ca...

Yes, of course,
Harry!

Ahh! I've been out of my mind ever since,
ever since I've been here!

You saw I was insane,
didn't you?

Can it! I've had
enough of your act.

Save it for the jury.

Now listen, you guys,
don't fall for his lies.

He's starting to get foxy now
and thinks he'll plead insanity.

But he can't
get away with that.

Bejees, you dumb dick!

You've got a crust trying
to tell us about Hickey.

We've known him for years,
and every one of us noticed

he was nutty the minute
he showed up here.

If you'd seen the damned-fool
things he made us do!

We only did
them because we...

because we, we hoped he'd come out of it,
if we kidded him along and humored him.

Ain't that right,
fellas?

That's right!
A fine bunch of rats!

Covering up for a dirty,
cold-blooded murderer!

Is that so?

Bejees, you know
the old story.

When Saint Patrick drove
the snakes out of Ireland,

they swam to New York
and joined the police force!

You stand up for your
rights, bejees, Hickey.

I've still got friends
at the Hall.

I'll have this guy back in uniform
pounding a beat, where the only graft

he'll get will be stealing
tin cans from the goats.

Listen, you cockeyed old bum!
For a plugged nickel I'd...

Come on, you.
Oh, I want to go, officer.

I can hardly
wait now.

I should have phoned you from
the house right afterwards.

It was a waste
of time coming here!

I've got to explain to Evelyn,
but I know she's forgiven me.

She knows
I was insane.

You've got me
all wrong, officer.

I want to go to
the chair.

Crap!

God, you're
a dumb dick!

Do you suppose I
give a damn about life now?

Why, you bone head.

I haven't got a single damned
lying hope or pipe dream left.

He's gone... poor
crazy son of a bitch.

Bejees, I need
a drink.

Maybe it'll have the
old kick now he's gone.

Yeah, boss, maybe
we can get drunk now.

I suppose you think I ought to make
those dicks take me away with Hickey.

How could I
prove it, Larry?

They'd think I was nutty
'cause she's still alive!

You're the only one who can
understand how guilty I am.

Because you know her, you know
what I've done to her.

You're the only one who can understand
that I'm much guiltier than he is.

That what I did is a much worse than murder
because she is dead, and yet she has to live!

For a little while... but she
can't live long in jail.

She loves her
freedom too much.

I can't kid myself
like Hickey...

that
she's at peace.

As long as she lives,
she'll never be able

to forget what I've done
to her, not even in her sleep.

She'll never have
a second's peace.

Jesus, Larry,
say something!

I'm not bluffing either
that I was crazy...

afterwards when I
laughed and thought to myself.

"You know what you can do with your freedom pipe
dream now, don't you, you damned old bitch."

Go!

Get the hell out of life, God damn you!
Before I choke it out of you!

Go up... go up!

Thanks, Larry!

I can see now that's the only
possible way I can ever get free from her.

She'll finally be able
to play the incorruptible.

Mother of the Revolution, whose
only child is a proletariat.

She'll be able to say "Justice is done!"

"So may all traitors die!"
She'll be able to say...

"I'm glad
he's dead!"

"Long live
the Revolution!"

You know her, Larry,
she's always a ham!

Go, for the love of Christ!
You mad tortured bastard, for your own sake!

Thanks, Larry,
that's kind.

I knew you were the only one who
could understand my side of it.

Hello, little Don,
little monkey-face!

Don't be a fool,
buy me a drink.

Sure I will,
Hugo.

Tomorrow, beneath
the willow trees.

Stupid fool! Hickey make
you crazy, too.

I'm glad, Larry, they take that
crazy Hickey away to asylum.

He makes me
have bad dreams.

He makes me tell
lies about myself.

He makes me want to spit
on all I've ever dreamed.

Yes, I'm glad they
take him to asylum!

Bejees, it's good to hear
someone laugh again.

All the time that bastar... Eh... poor old
Hickey was here, I didn't have the heart...

Bejees, I'm getting drunk
and glad of it!

Come on, fellas,
it's on the house!

Christ!
Why don't he?

"Why don't he"
what?

Ah, don't be a fool,
Hickey's gone!

He was crazy!
Here, have a drink.

What's the matter
with you, Larry?

You look funny.

What do you listen for
out in backyard?

Imagine us goin' off like we
really meant to get married,

when we ain't even
picked out the farm yet!

Sure thing, baby! We
kidded him we was serious.

I may as well say, though, I detected
his condition almost at once! Yeah.

All that talk of his
about tomorrow, for example.

What's the matter,
Larry?

You look scared!

What you listen for
out there?

No, sir.

I wasn't fool enough to get in no crap game,
not while Hickey's around.

The crazy people
put a jinx on you!

It was of no good trying to explain to a
crazy guy, but it ain't the right time!

Hey! You know how
getting reinstated is.

Bejees,
I'm cockeyed!

Bejees, you're
all cockeyed!

And bejees, we're
all all right!

Let's have another.

What's the matter,
Larry?

Why you keep
eyes shut?

Huff!
You look dead!

What you listen for
in backyard?

You crazy fool!
You give me bad dreams, too!

Hello there,
Hugo!

Welcome
to the party!

Yes, bejees, Hugo!
Sit down, have a drink!

Have ten
drinks, bejees!

Hello, little Harry!
Goddamned stupid bourgeois!

Soon comes
the Day of Judgment!

Give me
ten drinks, Harry.

Don't be a fool!

Gangway for two
good whores!

Yeah! And we want
a drink, quick!

Yeah, yeah! Shake the lead
outta your pants, pimp!

A little service, eh?
Well, look who's here!

Hello there,
sweethearts.

Jees, I was beginnin' to
worry about you, honest!

Yeah? What kind
of gag is this?

Come on and join
the party, you broads!

Bejees, I'm glad
to see you!

Hey, what? Come on!
What's come off here?

Where's that
louse, Hickey?

Oh, the cops got him.

He's gone crazy
and croaked his wife.

Oh, Jees!

So forget about
that whore stuff.

I'll knock the block off
if anyone calls you whores.

That's our little bartender!Ain't he, Pearl?
Yeah, and a cute little Ginny at that!

And is he stinko!

Stinko is right, but he ain't
got nothin' on us!

Jees, Rocky, did we have
a big time at Coney!

Bejees, sit down,
you dumb whores!

Welcome home,
have a drink.

Have ten drinks,
bejees!

Bejees, this
is all right!

We'll make this my birthday
party, and forget the other.

But who's missing?
Where's the Old Wise Guy?

Where's Larry?

Oh, over by
the window, boss.

Ah?
He's got his eyes shut!

The old bastard's asleep!
Oh, to hell with him!

Let's have a drink.

It's the only way
out for him.

For the peace of all
concerned, as Hickey said.

God damn his yellow soul!

If he doesn't soon, I'll
go up and throw him off...

like a dog with its guts ripped out
that you'd put out of its misery!

What the hell was that?
What the hell was that?

Something fell off
the fire escape.

A mattress,
I'll bet!

Some of these bums have been
sleepin' on the fire escape!

There ain't no...
They've got to cut it out!

Bejees, this, this, this
ain't no... fresh-air cure.

Mattresses
cost money.

Poor devil!

God rest his soul
in peace.

I'll never be a success in the
grandstand or anywhere else.

Life is too much for me.

I'll be a weak fool, looking with pity at the
two sides of everything 'till the day I die,

and may that day
come soon!

I'm the only real convert
to death that Hickey made here.

From the bottom of my coward's
heart, I mean that now.

Hey there, Larry! Come on
over and get paralyzed!

What the hell you
doing, sitting there?

Bejees, let's sing,
let's celebrate!

Bejees, it's
my birthday party!

Bejees, I'm oreyeyed!
I want to sing!

* Every Sunday down to her home we go *

* All the boys and all the
girls they love her so *

* Always jolly heart
that is true I know *

* She is the Sunshine
of Paradise Alley *