All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 06x08 - How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish Download
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:05,103 ♪ Thank you for being a friend 2 00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:08,707 ♪ Traveled down the road and back again 3 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,543 ♪ Your heart is true 4 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:16,448 ♪ You're a pal and a confidante 5 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,484 ♪ And if you threw a party 6 00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:23,254 ♪ Invited everyone you knew 7 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:28,360 ♪ You would see the biggest gift would be from me 8 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,296 ♪ And the card attached would say 9 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:37,469 ♪ "Thank you for being a friend" ♪ 10 00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:06,565 Oh, Rose, good God. My heart is still poundin'. 11 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,567 I was just in an accident. 12 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,069 Honey. But don't worry. I'm all right. I'm OK. 13 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,673 Oh, thank God. Any damage to your car? 14 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:18,877 Well, that's the one bright spot. I had borrowed yours. 15 00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:23,582 My car? You didn't ask if you could borrow my car. 16 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,517 Well, I guess we both learned a lesson 17 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,652 about leaving keys on the table. 18 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:30,422 I can't believe this. How did it happen? 19 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,757 Well, you know how I like to meet rich men 20 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:36,661 by gently rear-ending expensive cars at red lights? 21 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:37,896 Yeah. 22 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,198 Well, you say that like it isn't great. 23 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,766 Rose, it's the perfect plan. 24 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,102 You get to meet the guy, exchange addresses, 25 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,604 then when he asks you who does good body work, 26 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,940 you give him your phone number. 27 00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:53,612 And this really works? 28 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,246 Well, not this time. 29 00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:58,550 I had this really cute guy in a Jag lined up 30 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:03,021 when this dork in a Duster cut in front of me... 31 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,924 and I nicked him instead. 32 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,325 Blanche, I am furious. 33 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,361 First you take my car without asking. 34 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:13,765 Then, when you have it, you show complete disregard for my personal property. 35 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,766 Rose, please have a little compassion. 36 00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:18,036 I was just in an accident. 37 00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:21,873 Well, what do you want me to do, carry you to your room? 38 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,709 Massage your neck? Make some cocoa? 39 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,512 Diet cocoa. I'm going out again tomorrow. 40 00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:34,786 Blanche... Oh, hi, Dorothy. How was the funeral? 41 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:38,923 It was a humdinger, Blanche. We closed the place. 42 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,760 Where's Sophia? 43 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,562 She's taking this pretty hard. 44 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,798 I guess she needs a couple of minutes by herself out in the car. 45 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,100 We're really gonna have to be there for Ma. 46 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,936 Oh, Dorothy, Sophia's like my own mother. 47 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:55,340 Until she feels better, I'm not gonna think about anything else. 48 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,443 My car! 49 00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,512 It's ruined! 50 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,815 It's just a little scratch. I can live with it. 51 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,816 What did you do with it? Rose... 52 00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:09,688 Do we have to do this now? A nun has died. 53 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:13,091 More than a nun. Sister Agnes was my mother's best friend. 54 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,160 Oh, she's out there alone now. 55 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,828 She hasn't said a word since we left the cemetery. 56 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,398 I have no idea how she's going to react to this. 57 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:26,804 I've made a decision. I'm gonna become a nun. 58 00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,479 Well, at least now you know. 59 00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:40,885 Ma, what are you talking about? 60 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,787 God spoke to me today at the funeral. 61 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,956 He told me to join the order. 62 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,958 God spoke to you? 63 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:52,097 You haven't been eating chili dogs again, have you? 64 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:53,497 That was an honest mistake. 65 00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:57,601 And to clarify, that's when I thought God was whistling to me. 66 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,672 This was him talking. Oh, Ma. 67 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:03,842 Don't you think I know how crazy this sounds? But it really happened. 68 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,744 Ma, I don't believe you. God said you'd say that. 69 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,580 Ma. He said you'd say that, too. 70 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,716 Ma, stop this. Three for three. 71 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,852 Ma, this is ridiculous. 72 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,521 You don't want to be a nun. Yes, I do, Dorothy. 73 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,357 God reminded me today that I've always had a dream, 74 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:22,026 a very private dream, one I never talked about. 75 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,962 When I was growing up, I wanted to join the convent. 76 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:28,633 Well, until I was 17. 77 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,435 What happened then? 78 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,937 Your father put his hand in my blouse. 79 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:35,840 So? 80 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,843 So I felt soiled, filthy, dirty. 81 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,346 You know, in love. 82 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,482 But this time, I'm gonna fulfill my destiny. 83 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:47,319 This time, I'm gonna become a nun. 84 00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:52,724 Do you believe what we just heard? 85 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,693 I can't believe anybody would want to be a nun. 86 00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:59,463 I mean, "nun." The word says it. 87 00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:13,111 Well, you're not gonna believe this. 88 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:16,081 I've just been talking on the phone for a half-hour, 89 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,449 and guess what. 90 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,785 You forgot to dial first? 91 00:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,291 No... 92 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:30,862 You held the receiver upside down? Unh-unh. 93 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:34,632 It wasn't even the phone, it was the TV remote control. 94 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:37,836 No. A shoe? 95 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,971 Blanche, please. I'm not an idiot. 96 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,440 The TV has a remote control? 97 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:48,680 Anyway, this could be kind of important. What? 98 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,448 Do you remember Mr. Nivingston, the guy whose rear end you smacked? 99 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,519 Well, my insurance company just called, 100 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,089 and the guy is claiming he hurt his back. 101 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,859 He's threatening a lawsuit unless we settle out of court. 102 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,327 Oh, that's terrible. I know. 103 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:07,432 And I'm the one he's suing, 'cause it's my car. Oh! Ha-ha! Oh. 104 00:06:09,835 --> 00:06:13,170 Boy, you had me goin' there for a second. 105 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,807 I thought you meant he was suing me. Whew. 106 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,412 What? 107 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,014 Blanche, Rose may be taken to court for something that you did. 108 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,516 Don't you even care? 109 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,250 There's nothing to worry about. 110 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,653 He's just tryin' to hold up his insurance company. 111 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:31,756 There's nothin' wrong with that man's back. How can you tell? 112 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,891 Because I know the crooked walk of man 113 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,893 when his back has been injured. 114 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,895 I cannot tell you how many men 115 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,965 I have seen limp out of my bedroom. 116 00:06:44,503 --> 00:06:48,206 Shoulders stooped and their backs curved. 117 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,342 Blanche, that's different. That's shame. 118 00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:58,549 (doorbell rings) 119 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,156 Oh, Sister Claire, how nice to see you again. 120 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,324 Come in. 121 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,726 Dorothy, this is Sister Claire. 122 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:12,496 She interviewed me last week about joining her order. Please, sit down. 123 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,567 Ma, you actually went to a convent? 124 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,202 Why didn't I know that? Because you're divorced. 125 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,673 Technically, in the eyes of the church, you don't even exist. 126 00:07:24,176 --> 00:07:26,343 I spit on you. 127 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,882 Unless, of course, the sister would like to spit on you first. 128 00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:35,720 I'm her daughter Dorothy. You'll have to excuse my mother. 129 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,055 She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago 130 00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:41,592 which rendered her totally annoying. 131 00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:44,162 And, uh, what brings you here? 132 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,663 The follow-up interview. 133 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:48,499 We have very strict guidelines when selecting postulants, 134 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,501 so we're going to put Sophia 135 00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:52,603 through a battery of psychological tests. 136 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:55,406 It helps weed out the crazies and undesirables. 137 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,141 Sorry, Ma. 138 00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:02,447 Can you imagine? Rose is tryin' to blame the whole thing on me. 139 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:05,350 That woman has one hell of a lot of nerve. 140 00:08:09,721 --> 00:08:12,790 Hello. 141 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,959 I'm a Baptist. 142 00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:17,762 Excuse me. 143 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,601 Sister, is it all right if I sit in? 144 00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:27,071 I don't think my mother would mind. 145 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,107 Think again. 146 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:34,778 I'd go outside, but there don't seem to be any shady pines to sit under. 147 00:08:36,648 --> 00:08:40,018 Pillow, Pussycat? 148 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,287 We'll start with the ink blots. 149 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:45,422 Uh, "Who was a 1950s black singing group?" 150 00:08:50,629 --> 00:08:53,464 Am I right? Am I in? Am I a nun yet? 151 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,334 She watches a lot of Jeopardy! 152 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,535 No, no. 153 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,538 You look at each one and tell me what you see. 154 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,006 It's a standard test used by psychologists, 155 00:09:03,008 --> 00:09:06,143 but we find it useful in our line of work, too. 156 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:09,647 Now... what do you see? 157 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,083 I see an angel. 158 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:15,353 Very good. How 'bout this one? 159 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,022 Uh, I see a dove perched upon the throne of God. 160 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,291 Excellent. And this? 161 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,727 I see the Blessed Mother smiling sweetly 162 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,329 as she pours love upon the hearts of the righteous 163 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:27,899 standing at the gates of heaven, while St. Peter... 164 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,134 Ma! 165 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,670 Come on, you're making that up. I am not. 166 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:36,474 Look, anyone can clearly see that is a picture of John Forsythe 167 00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,109 lying naked in a pool of honey... 168 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:45,950 Isn't it? 169 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,320 Do you think I would lie to get into the convent? 170 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:54,058 It does look a little like John Forsythe, doesn't it? 171 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:58,329 Look, sister, I'm sorry you made this trip for nothing, but this has gone far enough. 172 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:02,033 Ma, I cannot believe that you actually want to go through with this. 173 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,702 Who cares what you believe? I had a beautiful experience. 174 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,938 God has called me, and I intend to answer. 175 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,774 You're really serious about this, aren't you? 176 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,176 Yes, Dorothy. This means a lot to me. 177 00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,511 Do you think I could leave you that easily? 178 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,681 A minute ago you were gonna spit on me. 179 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:20,317 Do you have this much trouble with your kids? 180 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,125 What's wrong, Rose? 181 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,294 It's my insurance company. 182 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:34,231 They've cut me off because of the lawsuit. What am I gonna do? 183 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,434 Well, you need a good lawyer. 184 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,502 Give me the keys to your rental, 185 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:42,640 and I'll go out and see if I can nail one for you. 186 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,242 Blanche, that's how you got me in trouble before. 187 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,378 Isn't there anything else you can do? 188 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,347 Well, I suppose we could prove Mr. Nivingston was faking his injury 189 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,349 if we could trick him into performing 190 00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:55,687 certain physical acts of a sexual nature. 191 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:59,256 All we'd need is a devastatingly beautiful woman 192 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:02,493 with a flair for seduction. 193 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,229 How about Mrs. Hufstad down the street? 194 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,498 I mean, she's something of a dog, 195 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,235 but she'll do it with anybody. 196 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,304 I was talkin' about me. 197 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,574 Oh, yeah. You will, too. 198 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,809 Rose, I won't go all the way. 199 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,078 I'll just get him in the bedroom 200 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,814 and, uh, put him through the normal warm-ups. 201 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,317 And we'll have a certain Scandinavian nitwit 202 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:29,887 hidin' in the closet with a camera. 203 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:33,424 Wouldn't it be better if I hid in the closet? 204 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:38,629 Yes, Rose, I suppose it would. 205 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,599 But do you really think you can get him to remove the neck brace? 206 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:46,303 Oh, please. I once got a man to crawl out of a full body cast. 207 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:49,773 Well, I'm almost ready to go. 208 00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:53,010 Today? You're not goin' today? Why didn't you tell us? 209 00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:55,813 Every time I bring it up, one of you tries to talk me out of it. 210 00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:59,117 We were just being selfish. We didn't wanna lose you. 211 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,485 (horn honks) There's my ride. 212 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:02,720 Oh, Sophia. 213 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:06,491 Yep. It's a Granada full of nuns. 214 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,826 Sophia, you have no idea 215 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,861 how much we're gonna miss you. 216 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,264 It's like losing a member of the family. 217 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:16,099 Rose is right. You're just like a mother to us. 218 00:12:16,101 --> 00:12:19,003 We feel like your daughters, too. I feel the same way. 219 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:22,072 Rose, just remember, you're smarter than people say you are. 220 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,841 You've got common sense and you know what you're doing. 221 00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:26,710 Oh, Sophia. 222 00:12:28,446 --> 00:12:30,781 Blanche, you're a slut. 223 00:12:37,555 --> 00:12:40,891 Oh, Sophia. 224 00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,459 (horn honks) 225 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:45,762 Well, I better go. Nuns don't keep well in a hot car. 226 00:12:47,665 --> 00:12:50,901 We'll go out and tell 'em you're on your way. Come on, Rose. 227 00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:54,372 Well, I guess this is it. 228 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,174 I'm just so sorry that it took me so long 229 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,677 to realize how much this meant to you. 230 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,280 It's just very hard for me to let go. 231 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,582 Me too. But someone else needs me more. 232 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:08,119 It's time for me to move on. My job here is done. 233 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,121 I always love it when you talk like the Lone Ranger. 234 00:13:12,957 --> 00:13:15,993 Ma, I want you to know that I support your decision. 235 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,262 I think you'll make a great nun. 236 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:20,965 Thanks. I needed to hear that. 237 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,435 I love you, Ma. I love you, too, Tonto. 238 00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:37,514 Careful, Arthur. Watch your step. 239 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:39,250 Blanche, if I only could. 240 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,851 Oh, forgive me, sugar. 241 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,854 Well, here, I'll watch it for you, you poor thing. 242 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,857 Thank you, Blanche. I can't believe how nice you're being to me 243 00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:48,993 even though I'm suing your friend. 244 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,995 Well, I've always been attracted 245 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:54,798 to ever-so-slightly younger men. 246 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,435 Besides, just look at you. Ooh! 247 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:01,972 Must be so frustratin' for an athlete like you. 248 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,508 Did you ever play any college ball? 249 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,511 No. As a boy, I got as far as the Pee-Wee leagues, 250 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,579 but then I discovered stamps. 251 00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:12,549 Wow. 252 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:14,651 You know, when I first saw you, 253 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:19,089 I said to myself, "Philatelist." 254 00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:20,657 I like that. 255 00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:23,294 Ooh, you're gettin' so tense. 256 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,964 Hey, why don't we go in my bedroom, see if we can't loosen you up a little? 257 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,600 Oh, I'm not sure. See, my lawyer - I mean, my doctor - 258 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,703 Sorry. I get 'em mixed up. They're both in the same mall. 259 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,239 You just forget about that old doctor. 260 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,575 I know a little bit about physical therapy myself. 261 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:40,278 I'm sure you do, but, you see - If it'll make you feel better, 262 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:44,882 I have a complete nurse's outfit hangin' up in my closet. 263 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,018 I gotta tell you, that does make me feel better. 264 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,154 What else have you got in there? 265 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,022 Ooh, ho-ho-ho-ho. 266 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,458 Wait! What am I doing? I can't play nursey. 267 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,393 I-I'm supposed to have whiplash. 268 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,396 If we can't be together soon, I'm gonna have to go with somebody else. 269 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:02,399 I haven't been with a man since my husband died nine years ago, 270 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,901 and I'm just about ready to explode. 271 00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:06,970 I'll see you tomorrow, Blanche. Yeah. 272 00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:10,106 Boy, this is really beginning to chafe. Ar-- 273 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,880 Were you able to get him to bed? No. 274 00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:21,252 Rose still in the closet with the camera? Yes. 275 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,288 Maybe you'll get him tomorrow. Yeah. 276 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:32,062 Oh, hi, Rose. Out of the closet, I see. 277 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,897 Yeah, I'm back. 278 00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:36,367 Look, I got a card from Ma. 279 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,302 Oh, Dorothy, read it out loud. 280 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,370 "Dear Pussycat, I have everything I need, 281 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,574 but it's hard to get a decent bikini wax." 282 00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:45,343 Oh! Ha-ha. Ha-ha. 283 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,277 "Dorothy, I remember you fondly, 284 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,880 and the same goes for Blanche and Rita." 285 00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:53,818 "Wish you were here. 286 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:56,687 "No one can reach the third shelf in the pantry. 287 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,856 Best, Sister Ma." 288 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,324 (laughs) 289 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:02,359 God, I miss that woman. 290 00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,361 Say what you want about her, 291 00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,697 we all loved having her around. 292 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,567 I miss someone to have a chat with at midnight. 293 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,269 You know what I'm gonna miss most about Sophia? 294 00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:14,538 The way she used to tease me. 295 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,541 The way she would ever-so-subtly jab me 296 00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:21,879 with names like "tramp"... 297 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,048 "Floozy." 298 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,649 "Trollop," "harlot." 299 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:29,387 "Magic carpet ride." 300 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:32,056 "The human luge." 301 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:36,393 But she was never cuter than when she simply called you "shore leave." 302 00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:42,532 Oh, God, I miss that woman. 303 00:16:58,483 --> 00:17:02,653 OK, is everybody in? I got a pair of jacks. 304 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,822 Ooh. Wait, Sophia. 305 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:07,758 I have the two, seven, jack, ten and - 306 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,994 that's right - a four. 307 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,729 That doesn't beat a pair of jacks. 308 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:14,565 Well, it did when you had it. 309 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,000 I told you. That's called a "Whizzer." 310 00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:19,603 It's only good once a night. 311 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:22,907 Uh, I'll be putting this in the collection box later. 312 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,775 Sophia? Clear out. It's the man. 313 00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:30,214 Hello, Reverend Mother. 314 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:34,151 My, you look holier-than-thou today. 315 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:37,320 Save it, Sister Suck Up. 316 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:41,058 How do you explain this note I found in the suggestion box? 317 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,126 You said we needed money for the chapel. 318 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,929 I thought that would be a good fund-raiser. 319 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:49,767 A beefcake calendar of "Monks of the Midwest"? 320 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,937 Oh, come on. Open up your mind. 321 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:55,305 Sophia, I'm going to go pray now. 322 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:57,974 I won't tell you what I'm going to pray for 323 00:17:57,976 --> 00:17:59,976 because it would hurt your feelings. 324 00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:03,614 But when I'm done, I expect a complete change of attitude. 325 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,816 Understand? 326 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,384 Ooh, I'm so scared. 327 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:10,954 What is she gonna do, take away my self-denial privileges? 328 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:14,591 Ma. 329 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,793 Pussycat, what are you doin' here? 330 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:20,530 Oh, I just missed you and wanted to say hi and see how you're doin'. 331 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,199 I'm doin' fine. 332 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,667 Ten days celibate. 333 00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:29,206 Same here. 334 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,876 Ma, I have a little surprise for you. 335 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,444 Girls? 336 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:38,115 Oh... Look who it is. 337 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:42,219 It's Blanche and Rose. Where's the surprise? 338 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:45,322 Honey, we're your surprise. We came to see you. 339 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,458 Nice to see you. What a lovely surprise. 340 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,727 Welcome to our little convent. 341 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,062 Not even a Bundt cake, huh? 342 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:55,399 Look at you. A nun. 343 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:58,235 I didn't think I'd be shocked like this. 344 00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,170 It's just that you look so different 345 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,739 than when Blanche is dressed as a nun. 346 00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,011 So, uh, what's new at home? 347 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:10,247 Oh, I did get a chance to go into your bedroom, Sophia, 348 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:13,884 and there's just no way I'll be able to refund your cleaning deposit. 349 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,752 Totally understandable. 350 00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:19,323 I'll see you in court, my child. 351 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,324 Sophia. 352 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,927 Mother Superior, this is my daughter Dorothy and my ex-roommates. 353 00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,863 Hello. 354 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,864 Sophia, why don't you run along? 355 00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:30,734 I need to talk to your daughter alone. 356 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:34,304 Sure. Whatever she says, I have an alibi. 357 00:19:36,641 --> 00:19:40,444 So, Dorothy, I'll bet you love your mother a lot. 358 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:44,748 Well, that depends. What has she done? 359 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,018 It's not necessarily anything specific. 360 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,689 It's my feeling that life here is too structured for her. 361 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,691 I'm afraid I don't follow you. 362 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:57,427 She is a stubborn, old, vindictive pack mule of a woman 363 00:19:57,429 --> 00:20:00,464 who won't follow the rules. 364 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,200 OK, I'm back with you. 365 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,003 Dorothy, I think her intentions are good, 366 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,939 but this doesn't seem to be her calling. 367 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,774 Oh, but this means so much to her. 368 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,676 Oh, this would break her heart. 369 00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:16,480 I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask her to leave. 370 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:20,250 Oh, Mother Superior, with your permission, may I be the one to tell her? 371 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,252 We've been through so much together, 372 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,254 I'm sure that any bit of bad news 373 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:27,291 would be easier to take if it came from me. 374 00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:29,693 Well, then, here's another one for you. 375 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,395 We've seen her room. 376 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:35,399 Tell her she won't be getting her cleaning deposit back. 377 00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:42,806 God, I'm so confused. I don't know where I belong. 378 00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:46,543 I'm trying to wrestle with the deep religious questions of the ages. 379 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:49,280 Like, what do you really want from me? 380 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,082 What is my real purpose in life? 381 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:56,153 What was Edward G. Robinson doing in The Ten Commandments? 382 00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,554 (knock on door) 383 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,235 Come in. 384 00:21:13,738 --> 00:21:15,739 Ma, where are Blanche and Rose? 385 00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:18,275 Oh, they wanted to browse in the gift shop. 386 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,111 They're having a sale on John the Baptist placemats. 387 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,046 Ma, do you remember that summer 388 00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:25,482 you told me I didn't get into Girl Scout camp, 389 00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:28,986 and you said we were gonna have more fun than any two people ever had? 390 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:33,324 They want me out? Yesterday. 391 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:36,994 Dorothy, I don't get it. I know God wants my life to be meaningful. 392 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,596 That's not gonna happen unless I'm here. 393 00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:42,198 Ma, your life is meaningful. 394 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,369 You do nothing but help other people. 395 00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:48,072 You do Meals On Wheels, Red Cross, 396 00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,773 volunteer hospital work. 397 00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:52,342 The point is, you don't have to be in a convent 398 00:21:52,344 --> 00:21:54,311 to make your life meaningful. 399 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,581 I mean, Sister Agnes belonged here, but you don't. 400 00:21:57,583 --> 00:22:00,083 So who's gonna take Sister Agnes' place? 401 00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:02,085 Nobody can take her place. 402 00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:05,088 Just like nobody can take your place. 403 00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:08,058 I miss her. I know. 404 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,260 Let's go home. 405 00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:13,530 All right. But I'll be missing movie night. 406 00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:15,299 But so what? 407 00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:18,969 After the tenth time, it isn't the greatest story ever told. 408 00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:30,314 Here you go, Ma. 409 00:22:32,750 --> 00:22:35,952 Guess it's gonna take you a little while to get adjusted 410 00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:38,322 to being home from the convent, hmm? 411 00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:41,325 To tell you the truth, Dorothy, it isn't that much different. 412 00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:43,961 Whoa! Give me that film. 413 00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:47,030 Rose, go! Run! 414 00:22:54,038 --> 00:22:56,240 Good to have you home, Ma. 32238

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.