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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,000
He's got two dicks, get out!
2
00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:06,641
I don't care how many dicks he's got,
he saved my life!
3
00:00:06,721 --> 00:00:08,200
Pause it. I need the loo.
4
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,360
God, I'm so broke.
5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,200
Hey, Marcella, there's no toilet roll!
6
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,080
It's your turn to buy some.
7
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,760
There's only two more episodes,
and then I'll go. No, no, no.
8
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,760
You need to go now!
9
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,160
Why don't you use the bath mat?
Your slippers are in here, Marcella.
10
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,880
And so help me God,
I will destroy them with my arse
11
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,800
if you do not go to the shop!
12
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,800
OK, I'll go. Don't need to go full
Bear Grylls about it.
13
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,840
I'm going!
14
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,000
Oi!
15
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,720
I... I...
I left these here earlier, act-...
16
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,560
It's my pub.
17
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,880
It's not your pub. It's people like you
18
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,200
that make decent women like me
19
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,840
have to drip dry.
20
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,880
Fine!
21
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:28,555
Hey.
22
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,555
Fruit, Marcella!
23
00:01:31,595 --> 00:01:32,755
Well done, you.
24
00:01:32,795 --> 00:01:34,915
Bravo! Very proud.
25
00:01:34,955 --> 00:01:38,635
That is fantastic. That is...
Just an... Just an apple, mate.
26
00:01:38,675 --> 00:01:41,715
Um... So, before we get started,
27
00:01:41,755 --> 00:01:44,955
I am going to have to take
a little break from this.
28
00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:47,035
Really?
29
00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:48,875
Why? I'm just really skint at the moment
30
00:01:48,915 --> 00:01:51,195
and my mum bought the
first sessions and now
31
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I just can't afford to keep it.
32
00:01:52,635 --> 00:01:54,635
OK, Marcella. I don't think
33
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we have to stop just because
of lack of funds.
34
00:01:57,275 --> 00:02:01,275
I think we can come to some arrangement.
35
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,555
Arrangement? You don't want a
go on the old waltzers, do you?
36
00:02:04,595 --> 00:02:08,235
No!
I don't want a go on the old waltzers.
37
00:02:08,275 --> 00:02:09,715
No, I...
38
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:13,555
I do find it interesting that you
would rather joke about your breasts
39
00:02:13,595 --> 00:02:16,635
than talk honestly about money.
40
00:02:16,675 --> 00:02:19,235
Um...
It's obviously very emotional for you.
41
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:21,620
It's not emotional, is it?
42
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,380
What is it, then? Tell me.
43
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:27,420
OK. Well... I was so excited about
getting an actual part in a film.
44
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:32,300
And then I found out, you know,
the part wasn't particularly well-paid.
45
00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:33,900
Barely paid... It wasn't paid.
46
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:35,060
Ah, I see.
47
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:39,020
And all the cast are posh, and 24,
48
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,300
with at least one family
member in the business.
49
00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:42,660
How does that make you feel?
50
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,500
Super horny, actually.
51
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:46,940
Really?
52
00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:47,980
No, that's...
53
00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:49,220
Yep. OK.
54
00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,860
How do you think it makes me feel?
It's a constant feeling of worry
55
00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:54,620
and impending doom and every
situation becomes a minefield.
56
00:02:54,660 --> 00:02:57,820
Oh, in what way?
57
00:02:57,860 --> 00:02:59,700
And then I said to him,
and you'll like this...
58
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:02,900
I said, it's Mauritius, not Sidcup.
59
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,540
Are you sure you don't want
to order a main, Marcella?
60
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,100
No, no. I'm absolutely...
61
00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:14,020
This is a lot more filling than
it looked, actually, so...
62
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:17,540
Garcon? Can we get two more bottles
of the Pinot Noir, please?
63
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:19,300
Oh, can we get some white as well?
64
00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:22,260
I'm actually good. I'll have another
water, actually. Tap water.
65
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,060
Keep it coming. Keep it coming!
66
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,860
Fuck it!
Let's get a bottle of champagne!
67
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:29,060
Ooh, champagne!
68
00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:47,780
Right.
69
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:50,060
How shall we do this?
70
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:54,100
Is everybody OK if we split...
71
00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:57,620
it?
72
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,860
Marcella, are you all right if we
split it? Oh, yeah. No worry.
73
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,620
I didn't eat anything, but...
74
00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:13,660
It's fine. Good.
Cos I am far too pissed to work it out.
75
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:19,420
Please go through. Please go through.
Please go through.
76
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:23,140
Please go through. Thanks, Madam.
That's gone through.
77
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,780
Thank you.
78
00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:29,820
It's not bad, really. L72 each.
79
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:31,940
Why didn't you just say?
80
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,900
Because I don't know them very well,
and I'm older than them.
81
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:37,740
And I didn't want to be the guy that
makes everyone go through the bill.
82
00:04:37,780 --> 00:04:40,620
I mean, everybody hates that guy.
They don't, do they?
83
00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:42,060
Do they?
84
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,860
Even if the guy didn't have the sirloin?
85
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:47,860
What sirloin? No, sorry, cos...
You said everyone hate...
86
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:49,060
Marcella.
87
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,460
Acting is what you said you wanted, OK?
88
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,540
And sacrifices have to be made.
89
00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:56,420
Maybe there are other
ways to save money.
90
00:04:56,460 --> 00:05:00,220
You're not on about a sex
arrangement again, are you? No!
91
00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:02,860
Yeah, I...
I'm using all of the ways to save money.
92
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:06,260
I'm back waiting for the yellow
stickers again. It's humiliating.
93
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:10,300
What're the yellow stickers?
94
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:42,820
No.
95
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:45,060
Who needs six chickens that go
out of date in five hours?
96
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,780
Listen here, teeth.
97
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:49,620
I've been working this
store for three years.
98
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:51,940
I've seen off your kind before.
99
00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:55,980
You do not want to dance with me!
100
00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:02,100
Nutter.
101
00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:15,220
Oi, teeth!
Don't you go at that fucking sourdough.
102
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:18,540
Move it, grandad!
103
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:22,580
Looks like there's a new dancer in town.
104
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:35,540
Ah, well, that explains it.
105
00:06:35,580 --> 00:06:37,860
Yeah, been eating out of
date bread for 24 hours.
106
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:40,700
I'm gluten intolerant. My chins
are swelling. OK, right. Well...
107
00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:43,580
Tell me what is going well.
108
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,780
Your family? No.
109
00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:47,860
Billy's still on cocaine.
And my mum doesn't know.
110
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,300
So, that just feels like a shitstorm
waiting to happen.
111
00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:52,140
OK. What about your father?
Can you tell him?
112
00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:53,740
No way am I telling my dad.
113
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,780
He is not what you would
call a calm man.
114
00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:57,220
Oh, in what way?
115
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,940
He's the kind of man that goes full,
like, Joe Pesci if he doesn't get
116
00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:01,900
enough gravy. What then?
117
00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:04,700
Well, he gets enough gravy then, mate.
He shouts and hollers about it
118
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:08,420
till his plate's brimming with the
stuff. No, what is going well?
119
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:10,940
I mean, it's important to
acknowledge what's good.
120
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,620
Yeah, OK. Uh... My driving lessons.
121
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:15,540
I'm still doing my driving lessons,
that's... Good.
122
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:18,180
I like Jon.
123
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,260
Jon?
124
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:20,540
OK.
125
00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:22,540
As a friend or...?
126
00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:25,860
Um... We went out the other night.
We had a really nice time.
127
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,780
Something nearly sort of happened.
128
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:31,660
And then I saw him with a date
and I felt hella jealous.
129
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,700
Well, maybe tell him that you might
have romantic feelings for him?
130
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:37,540
No offence, but suck my balls.
131
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:39,460
Marcella. Sorry.
132
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:43,500
What is the worst thing that
can happen if you tell him?
133
00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:46,380
Um...
134
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:48,580
Jon...
135
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,100
I like you.
136
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:51,620
Jesus!
137
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:57,420
Are you withholding feelings for
Jon because you still feel
138
00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:00,220
you're not ready for a
sexual relationship?
139
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:03,340
I mean, Simon was your only
partner for 12 years.
140
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:04,820
No... I...
141
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:08,060
Maybe.
142
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,500
OK.
143
00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:13,180
Let's workshop this.
144
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:15,100
I'm Jon. OK?
145
00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:16,700
Tell me what you feel for me.
146
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:18,260
No way in caps!
147
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:21,460
Uh... Marcella. I think it's time.
148
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,260
Please?
149
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,580
OK.
150
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:29,220
Hi, Jon.
151
00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:31,500
I like you.
152
00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:33,620
Why,
you're a bonny lass!
153
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:36,700
And I'm glad you were brave to
confess what's in your wee heart!
154
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:39,300
Was happening? What's going on now?
You said Jon was Scottish.
155
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:40,540
No! He's Irish.
156
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,500
He's Irish! I can't do Irish.
157
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:44,020
Thank God. OK.
158
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:46,980
I will say something to Jon.
If I feel it, and the time's right,
159
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:48,220
I will say something.
160
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:50,140
Excellent.
161
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:53,620
OK? Being able to be intimate with
someone in a sexual way I think is
162
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:55,260
very important to our wellbeing.
163
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:57,380
I know, I know.
164
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,540
I just don't know if the timing's
right at the moment.
165
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,500
I mean, after this I've got
to go round to my mum's
166
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:04,900
and tell her that her
golden boy's back on drugs.
167
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:08,940
I'm not feeling particularly frisky.
168
00:09:12,855 --> 00:09:15,135
Are you sure you don't want
me to cook you something?
169
00:09:15,175 --> 00:09:17,655
Oh, no. This is great, Mum, thank you.
It's great to see you.
170
00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:19,535
Yeah.
171
00:09:19,575 --> 00:09:22,375
I, uh...
172
00:09:22,415 --> 00:09:24,175
I'm going to talk to
you about something.
173
00:09:27,455 --> 00:09:29,575
Would you ever feck off, Orlando?
174
00:09:29,615 --> 00:09:31,695
You've had two lamb chops and a
packet of Wotsits
175
00:09:31,735 --> 00:09:34,615
and you're back for more.
Is it a lion you think you are?
176
00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:36,655
Mum, why are you feeding him Wotsits?
The vet said
177
00:09:36,695 --> 00:09:38,855
he's not allowed cheese any more.
178
00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:42,335
But, his depression came back
hard so I'm using the Wotsits
179
00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:43,535
as a substitution.
180
00:09:43,575 --> 00:09:45,015
A cheesy methadone.
181
00:09:45,055 --> 00:09:47,015
Right. What did you want to talk about?
182
00:09:47,055 --> 00:09:49,375
You're not working this week.
Are you all right for money?
183
00:09:49,415 --> 00:09:53,175
I'm fine, it's... Because now is
not the time to not be earning.
184
00:09:53,215 --> 00:09:57,175
Especially, you know,
a single woman getting older.
185
00:09:57,215 --> 00:09:59,495
You need to be sure that you're
looking after yourself.
186
00:09:59,535 --> 00:10:01,495
These are your earning years.
187
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,935
You need to be realistic.
Mum, that's not what I'm trying to...
188
00:10:03,975 --> 00:10:05,895
Well,
you see all of these people on X Factor
189
00:10:05,935 --> 00:10:07,215
and they all want to be stars.
190
00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:09,735
Nobody wants a normal life any more.
191
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:12,655
There's no shame in a decent,
normal life.
192
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:16,695
OK, Mum. I get it.
193
00:10:16,775 --> 00:10:19,535
You were great though. Well,
you obviously don't really think that.
194
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:23,175
You basically just told me to give up,
so... No! You were brilliant!
195
00:10:23,215 --> 00:10:25,055
I'm very proud of you.
196
00:10:25,095 --> 00:10:27,295
Of you and William.
197
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,375
I have wonderful children.
198
00:10:29,415 --> 00:10:30,855
How is Billy, William?
199
00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:32,855
Ah, he's great.
200
00:10:32,895 --> 00:10:36,215
You know,
it's wonderful to see him doing so well.
201
00:10:36,255 --> 00:10:40,175
I made a spaghetti Bolognese last
night for him and Orlando.
202
00:10:40,215 --> 00:10:43,295
And the three of us sat and
watch Grand Designs together.
203
00:10:43,335 --> 00:10:47,295
And you know, it was the happiest
I've been in a long time.
204
00:10:47,335 --> 00:10:49,335
It's a wonderful show.
205
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:51,615
The family had to sleep
in a petrol station
206
00:10:51,655 --> 00:10:54,215
because the house they designed melted.
207
00:10:54,255 --> 00:10:55,535
Melted?
208
00:10:55,575 --> 00:10:58,895
You know, that last time with
William was very hard for me.
209
00:10:58,935 --> 00:11:02,935
I didn't want to worry you,
but I didn't sleep for two weeks.
210
00:11:03,055 --> 00:11:06,295
So, fingers crossed he'll
stay off it this time.
211
00:11:06,335 --> 00:11:08,255
I have a good feeling.
212
00:11:08,295 --> 00:11:10,175
Yeah.
213
00:11:10,215 --> 00:11:12,095
What do you mean, yeah?
214
00:11:12,135 --> 00:11:15,495
Nothing, I...
215
00:11:15,535 --> 00:11:19,535
Why are you feeding Orlando
spaghetti Bolognese?
216
00:11:21,335 --> 00:11:23,135
Honestly,
you should listen to her podcast.
217
00:11:23,175 --> 00:11:25,535
She wanked herself into a coma.
218
00:11:25,575 --> 00:11:28,015
Wow! Sounds like my kind of girl.
219
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,175
You're not going to try anything on?
Nope.
220
00:11:30,215 --> 00:11:32,415
Nothing ever fits me in these places.
221
00:11:32,455 --> 00:11:33,695
Only hats.
222
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,255
Excuse me?
223
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,175
Hey. Have you got any hats?
224
00:11:38,215 --> 00:11:41,735
Oh.
225
00:11:48,135 --> 00:11:49,495
Jesus.
226
00:11:49,535 --> 00:11:52,135
Even their heads were tiny.
227
00:11:52,175 --> 00:11:56,175
Is this... Were these for adult women?
Yeah.
228
00:11:58,215 --> 00:11:59,455
Wow.
229
00:11:59,495 --> 00:12:01,335
You look terrible.
230
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,895
Listen, it's not my fault
you've got a boulder head.
231
00:12:03,935 --> 00:12:06,135
Oh, that's a real boner
maker of a dress, that.
232
00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:07,535
Your boobs look incredible.
233
00:12:07,575 --> 00:12:11,095
It's an authentic 1950s
American prom dress.
234
00:12:11,135 --> 00:12:12,855
Amazing, isn't it?
235
00:12:12,895 --> 00:12:15,335
Imagine the woman who wore this.
236
00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:17,455
What was she like? Racist as fuck.
237
00:12:17,495 --> 00:12:19,615
You dick.
238
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,975
I'm just jealous, mate.
239
00:12:21,015 --> 00:12:24,935
Nothing ever fits. Which is lucky,
cos I can't afford anything.
240
00:12:24,975 --> 00:12:27,175
So, are you going to make a move on Jon?
241
00:12:27,215 --> 00:12:30,255
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought it was a gear stick.
242
00:12:30,295 --> 00:12:32,295
Wow, that... That joke is terrible.
243
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,255
And the impression?
Pretty hateful, actually.
244
00:12:35,295 --> 00:12:36,655
I do like him, though. Sod it.
245
00:12:36,695 --> 00:12:38,175
Just say something.
246
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:41,255
Yeah. There's just a lot going
on though, isn't there?
247
00:12:41,295 --> 00:12:43,335
I went round to my mum's
to tell her about Billy.
248
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:45,415
When I got round there, I just bailed.
249
00:12:45,455 --> 00:12:48,135
I feel like she gets all of the stress.
250
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:50,735
Lucy was saying we should
sort an intervention.
251
00:12:50,775 --> 00:12:52,095
Maybe call your dad.
252
00:12:52,135 --> 00:12:53,975
Lucy?
253
00:12:54,015 --> 00:12:55,615
So, they are shagging again?
254
00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:58,135
Who knows? Well, you obviously know.
255
00:12:58,175 --> 00:13:01,135
You just basically told me.
256
00:13:01,175 --> 00:13:04,455
Maybe I should call my dad.
But he's such a fucking loose cannon.
257
00:13:04,495 --> 00:13:05,855
Maybe call Simon.
258
00:13:05,895 --> 00:13:06,895
They are close.
259
00:13:08,095 --> 00:13:09,255
It'd be weird.
260
00:13:09,295 --> 00:13:11,895
We haven't even spoken about that
night he came around pissed.
261
00:13:11,935 --> 00:13:14,575
He was drunk. His mum had just died.
262
00:13:14,615 --> 00:13:16,975
I don't think you should
look too much into it.
263
00:13:17,015 --> 00:13:18,295
He's not a bad guy.
264
00:13:18,335 --> 00:13:20,375
And he does care about Billy.
265
00:13:20,415 --> 00:13:22,615
Maybe.
266
00:13:22,655 --> 00:13:24,135
Oh, hello!
267
00:13:24,175 --> 00:13:27,735
At last, something vintage a
woman over size 12 can wear.
268
00:13:27,775 --> 00:13:31,735
Oof! You got this in green?
269
00:13:31,775 --> 00:13:33,775
I'm going.
270
00:13:36,755 --> 00:13:38,995
I don't give a rat's ass!
271
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,795
What am I paying you for? Huh?!
272
00:13:41,835 --> 00:13:44,835
I tell you what, you get your
scrawny dick out of your fat hands,
273
00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:47,235
and you get this sorted!
274
00:13:47,275 --> 00:13:49,275
Oh, I tell you what, Damon.
275
00:13:49,315 --> 00:13:50,675
You're some piece of shit, boy!
276
00:13:50,715 --> 00:13:52,955
No, you're worse! Hey!
277
00:13:52,995 --> 00:13:56,715
Hey, you're what shit would shit
if shit could shit, you hear me?
278
00:13:56,755 --> 00:14:00,635
Now, you get this sorted, or I swear
to God, I'll come down there and
279
00:14:00,675 --> 00:14:04,235
I'll beat you to death with a brogue,
you hear me?
280
00:14:04,275 --> 00:14:06,035
Christ!
281
00:14:06,075 --> 00:14:07,915
Hi, Dad. Wait, what's the story?
282
00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:10,395
Oh, well, nice to see you too. How am I?
283
00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:11,595
Jesus, Marcella,
284
00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:14,635
why do we have to meet in the middle
of the day in this shithole?
285
00:14:14,675 --> 00:14:16,115
The place is full of cunts.
286
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:17,475
Brexit Britain!
287
00:14:17,515 --> 00:14:20,515
Dad, could you just sit down and act
like a normal human being and like
288
00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:22,075
small talk for like ten seconds?
289
00:14:22,115 --> 00:14:24,675
Hey, boy!
Can I get a cup of tea over here?
290
00:14:24,715 --> 00:14:26,075
Right, come on. What's going on?
291
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,515
Yeah, I knew this was a bad idea.
I wanted to talk to you about
292
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:32,555
something, but I forgot,
you're a nutter.
293
00:14:36,395 --> 00:14:37,715
Are you OK?
294
00:14:37,755 --> 00:14:39,915
It's all right. I'm calm now, all right?
295
00:14:39,955 --> 00:14:41,115
I'm calm.
296
00:14:41,155 --> 00:14:43,235
Sorry.
297
00:14:43,275 --> 00:14:44,955
You need to stay calm.
298
00:14:44,995 --> 00:14:47,515
Calm.
299
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:51,275
Uh...
300
00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:52,795
Billy's back on coke.
301
00:14:52,835 --> 00:14:54,195
The stupid shit fucker!
302
00:14:54,235 --> 00:14:57,195
Dad! He's only just after
coming out of freaking rehab!
303
00:14:57,235 --> 00:14:59,275
Do know how much that place cost me?
TUNING GUITAR
304
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,595
Well, I don't give a shit how much
that place cost you!
305
00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:02,675
Hey!
306
00:15:02,715 --> 00:15:03,995
Are you fucking serious?
307
00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:06,915
I don't think so, pal.
308
00:15:06,955 --> 00:15:07,955
Oh, my God.
309
00:15:07,995 --> 00:15:09,435
Hey, does your mother know?
310
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,395
No, she doesn't. I...
311
00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:13,515
I want to sort a intervention
where we all tell Billy
312
00:15:13,555 --> 00:15:15,835
how he's making us feel,
how he's hurting himself...
313
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,875
Jesus, Marcella.
You are watching too much TV!
314
00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:20,515
Intervention? There'll be a fecking
intervention all right.
315
00:15:20,555 --> 00:15:22,075
Don't you worry about that!
316
00:15:22,115 --> 00:15:24,635
I'll get a couple of the boys off the
site to bundle him in the back of the van
317
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:27,435
and we'll dry him out in the attic.
Nick Cotton the fucker!
318
00:15:27,475 --> 00:15:28,875
Nick Cotton?
319
00:15:28,915 --> 00:15:30,755
Yeah, EastEnders.
320
00:15:30,795 --> 00:15:33,275
Dot kidnapped her junkie son,
Nick Cotton, to get him off the drugs.
321
00:15:33,315 --> 00:15:35,555
I think you're the one who's been
watching too much TV, Dad.
322
00:15:35,595 --> 00:15:37,475
He's a junkie! He needs tough love!
323
00:15:37,515 --> 00:15:39,835
Dad, I'm sorting a proper
intervention for your son.
324
00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:42,155
I just want to know if you want
to be involved in that.
325
00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:43,635
All right.
326
00:15:43,675 --> 00:15:47,275
Fine.
But, if this doesn't work, Marcella...
327
00:15:47,315 --> 00:15:49,995
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know... You'll...
You'll Nick Cotton the fucker, yeah.
328
00:15:50,035 --> 00:15:52,315
Hey!
329
00:15:52,355 --> 00:15:56,315
It's 4pm!
Feck off and get yourself a job!
330
00:15:56,355 --> 00:16:00,355
Sorry. Jesus!
331
00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:05,075
Watch out.
332
00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,155
Sorry. Sorry.
333
00:16:06,195 --> 00:16:10,075
Jesus.
334
00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:14,115
So, I...
335
00:16:14,395 --> 00:16:16,675
You know the other night
when we nearly...
336
00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:18,235
What other night, the screening?
337
00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:20,075
When you went for tapas...
338
00:16:20,115 --> 00:16:21,675
Watch out!
339
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:24,075
No, uh, no.
340
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:26,955
Not that. When we went for drinks and,
341
00:16:26,995 --> 00:16:29,155
also, nothing happened with tapas guy.
342
00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:30,275
OK.
343
00:16:30,315 --> 00:16:31,995
It's none of my business. So...
344
00:16:34,075 --> 00:16:38,075
You have to remember to indicate!
345
00:16:39,355 --> 00:16:40,795
Well... Sorry!
346
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:43,115
Sorry, I know...
I know I was really shit today.
347
00:16:43,155 --> 00:16:45,595
I just... I... I couldn't
concentrate and I wanted to...
348
00:16:45,635 --> 00:16:49,635
You can't not concentrate while
you're operating a vehicle.
349
00:16:50,715 --> 00:16:52,595
I know! I just...
350
00:16:52,635 --> 00:16:54,595
I've got... I've got so much on my mind.
And...
351
00:16:54,635 --> 00:16:57,955
I am nervous because I wanted
to talk to you about...
352
00:16:57,995 --> 00:17:01,075
No, Marcella!
Whatever is on your mind doesn't matter!
353
00:17:01,115 --> 00:17:03,995
Around every corner
is a woman with a pram.
354
00:17:04,035 --> 00:17:05,395
How many times do I have to say it?
355
00:17:05,435 --> 00:17:08,795
You concentrate at all times!
No excuses!
356
00:17:08,835 --> 00:17:10,235
OK, OK...
357
00:17:10,275 --> 00:17:12,395
I have got that. So... Yeah.
358
00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:14,275
OK. Now,
359
00:17:14,315 --> 00:17:15,715
what's on your mind?
360
00:17:15,755 --> 00:17:19,315
Yeah, what is so important that you
almost killed an old lady on a zebra
361
00:17:19,355 --> 00:17:20,915
crossing? Do you know what, honestly?
362
00:17:20,955 --> 00:17:24,475
It's fine. It's... It's absolutely fine,
so don't worry about it.
363
00:17:24,515 --> 00:17:27,315
I will just...
I will just see you Thursday, I reckon.
364
00:17:27,355 --> 00:17:28,635
So, see you later!
365
00:17:28,675 --> 00:17:32,675
Marcella.
366
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,555
Shit.
367
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,795
Hey!
368
00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:39,795
All right? Hey. How are you doing?
369
00:17:39,835 --> 00:17:42,355
Thanks for meeting me.
No worries, I'm...
370
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,915
glad you called. Um, where's...
371
00:17:44,955 --> 00:17:46,635
I've forgotten your wife's name.
372
00:17:46,675 --> 00:17:49,395
She's at home, yeah.
I hope she doesn't mind you...
373
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,835
Guessing it's fine.
No, no, it's fine, it's fine.
374
00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:53,995
I'll get us a drink,
then you can tell me about this film
375
00:17:54,035 --> 00:17:55,435
that you're doing.
376
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:59,475
Yeah. Something about a duck?
377
00:18:01,235 --> 00:18:02,635
Your dad's mad, isn't he?
378
00:18:02,675 --> 00:18:04,435
Dot kidnapped Nick Cotton in EastEnders.
379
00:18:04,475 --> 00:18:07,115
No, no, I know. It doesn't sound
like your dad's changed at all.
380
00:18:07,155 --> 00:18:09,835
Do you remember that time
when he had that prawn curry?
381
00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:11,875
He didn't think it had enough
prawns in it.
382
00:18:11,915 --> 00:18:13,755
And it was like he was
being short-changed.
383
00:18:13,795 --> 00:18:17,475
He started scooping them out and then start
counting, "Two, three, four... Nine prawns?
384
00:18:17,515 --> 00:18:20,635
"Is that all?
Wait, that's more than?1 a prawn!"
385
00:18:20,675 --> 00:18:23,635
That's, I mean... It's...rude.
PHONE BUZZES
386
00:18:23,675 --> 00:18:27,675
Hold on. I'll be two secs.
387
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:31,955
Hey. Hey, Marcella, it's John.
388
00:18:31,995 --> 00:18:35,755
Um... Listen,
I just wanted to apologise for today.
389
00:18:35,795 --> 00:18:38,035
You know? I was...
I was very hard on you.
390
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,475
And I'm sorry.
391
00:18:39,515 --> 00:18:40,995
It's fine. It's fine. I was...
392
00:18:41,035 --> 00:18:42,915
I was all over the place,
so it's totally fine.
393
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,275
Do you want to talk about it?
394
00:18:44,315 --> 00:18:47,395
No... No...
It's just, I've got a lot of...
395
00:18:47,435 --> 00:18:50,475
family stuff and...
396
00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:53,435
And when we got pissed the other night,
I just, erm...
397
00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,915
I suppose I felt like
we had a really nice time.
398
00:18:55,955 --> 00:18:59,955
And I...was wondering if, er...if...
399
00:19:01,195 --> 00:19:02,995
you felt... Yeah! No,
400
00:19:03,035 --> 00:19:06,475
we had a great time.
401
00:19:06,515 --> 00:19:09,515
I really enjoy your company.
402
00:19:09,555 --> 00:19:11,555
Obviously apart from when
you're driving.
403
00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:12,995
Nice.
404
00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:14,635
You working tomorrow?
405
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,155
No.
406
00:19:16,195 --> 00:19:18,315
Well, how about, you know,
we do something?
407
00:19:18,355 --> 00:19:19,915
Only if you want.
408
00:19:19,955 --> 00:19:23,075
Um... No driving. Just...
409
00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:26,235
fun things.
I can show you my bowling alley.
410
00:19:26,275 --> 00:19:28,795
Wow, that sounds like a euphemism,
411
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,555
but lovely.
412
00:19:30,595 --> 00:19:34,595
Ah, OK. Um,
I'll pick you up at about one tomorrow?
413
00:19:34,915 --> 00:19:36,875
OK, one.
414
00:19:36,915 --> 00:19:39,315
Bowling. I'll see you.
Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye.
415
00:19:39,355 --> 00:19:43,355
Bye.
416
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,340
Just get the memory out.
417
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:53,620
No, I don't, actually.
418
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:57,660
OK, it's just that...
But I like that you do it.
419
00:19:58,380 --> 00:19:59,660
All right, Dad? Come here, you!
420
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:00,940
What's going on?
421
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:10,300
Hi, Michael.
422
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,100
Um, who's...
423
00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:22,140
Who's Nick Cotton?
424
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:26,740
Ooh, shit. You put...
You put a whole pie in your bag!
425
00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:29,380
Simon, it wasn't a whole pie.
It was a little... a sliver.
426
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:31,140
Mm, no, it was a whole pie.
427
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:33,580
Mm, yeah, it wasn't! No, you were
like this. This is you in Crete.
428
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:35,180
Pie, bag. What, like a...
429
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:36,300
Like a...?
430
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:38,660
Oh, you're doing a monkey's face.
Like a Cretian monkey. Right, OK.
431
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:41,540
It was a tiny little sliver
that I saved.
432
00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:43,220
I need to wee.
433
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:44,900
OK.
434
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:53,100
Right, you.
435
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:56,660
You're the loo roll thief.
436
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:57,900
Non, non, non, eh...
437
00:20:57,940 --> 00:20:59,620
Qu'est-ce que c'est je me confused.
438
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:03,300
Je m'appelle Claudette.
'oliday from Paris.
439
00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:05,260
Are you pretending you're French?
440
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:09,300
Oui, no. I vacation...
Come on, sling your hook. Get out!
441
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:12,300
Je deteste le pub.
442
00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:13,620
Adios.
443
00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:15,220
We need to go. Now!
444
00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:19,260
Why? I'll tell you in a minute.
445
00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:22,700
You never know what can happen with you,
do you?
446
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:25,060
You need money. No, I'm fine.
447
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,500
It's fine, is it?
That's why you're nicking loo rolls.
448
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:31,220
What, don't laugh! It's... I'm fine.
It was just toilet paper.
449
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:35,100
All right, OK. It's just toilet paper.
But I'm just saying if...
450
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:37,740
If you did need money, just...
451
00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:40,380
So, um...
452
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:43,820
How's married life treating you?
453
00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:47,860
You guys going to start
for a family soon?
454
00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:51,220
I don't know.
455
00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:52,860
I guess.
456
00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:53,940
Yeah.
457
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,980
I always said you'd make a great dad.
Always said it. So...
458
00:21:57,020 --> 00:22:01,020
So, there's...
459
00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:04,700
Look at us,
talking like grown-ups about this.
460
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,251
Who would have thought
we would ever be able to
461
00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:08,060
speak to each other
like this again? It's, er...
462
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:11,220
I don't like it.
463
00:22:11,260 --> 00:22:14,020
Why?
464
00:22:14,060 --> 00:22:15,740
Cos I always thought we'd have kids.
465
00:22:15,780 --> 00:22:18,820
Simon... You can't say that to me.
466
00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:20,860
I... I've had to put that away.
467
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:24,500
I put... I worked so hard.
468
00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:26,860
I did.
469
00:22:26,900 --> 00:23:17,260
I do.
470
00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:21,860
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