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1
00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:05,190
This my is wife Tanya.
She looks just like me.
2
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:08,590
But you're American.
No, I'm from Kentish Town.
3
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,230
Hello?
Your flatmate said that you're camping.
4
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:14,990
I won't be inviting you inside then.
5
00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:19,030
Why not?
6
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,150
Fuck's sake.
7
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I'm coming.
8
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:58,550
Oh.
9
00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:02,150
Hi, Linda. Is that completely
ripped open parcel for me?
10
00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:04,630
Yeah.
These fuckers don't pay tax, you know?
11
00:01:04,670 --> 00:01:07,590
That and soon they're going to use
drones to deliver this shit.
12
00:01:07,630 --> 00:01:09,150
And if you don't answer the door,
13
00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:12,110
then they're just going to
smash in through your window.
14
00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:15,430
I don't think that's a thing.
That's not... Answer your door!
15
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:19,470
I don't like dealing with them.
16
00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:23,190
Thanks, Linda.
17
00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:25,790
But how do you know?
There's no way you can know that.
18
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It would just be killing us both if
I gave the parachute to a baby.
19
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,950
Marcella! If you were on a plane and
it was about to go down, you only
20
00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:34,350
had one parachute and it
was you and your baby,
21
00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:36,390
who would you give the parachute to?
22
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,990
What?
Mark would throw the baby off the plane.
23
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I didn't say that.
24
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I said sometimes we have to make
decisions based on what works
25
00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:46,150
rather than just what
makes us feel better.
26
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,790
How can you implement change if
you don't believe it's possible?
27
00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:51,230
Marcella, would you save the baby?
Guys, I just come on.
28
00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:53,430
My boobs are sore.
Please, I just want to get caffeine.
29
00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:55,670
This is too heavy an opener for the day.
30
00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:59,670
Do you actually think
Corbyn is electable?
31
00:01:59,710 --> 00:02:03,150
Do you actually think he can
be elected Prime Minister
32
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:04,310
or in your need to feel good,
33
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:06,750
have you and your ilk condemned
the Labour Party to just...
34
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:09,750
Can I get a bit of this coffee?
..decades in the wilderness?
35
00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:11,670
I think Corbyn can win. Of course I do.
36
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:13,150
I can't believe I'm fucking a Tory.
37
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:17,190
I can't believe I'm fucking an idiot.
38
00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:20,710
This is the worst post-sex banter
I've ever heard.
39
00:02:20,750 --> 00:02:23,190
And also, every part of me doesn't
want to get involved in this
40
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,390
conversation,
but why can't I just wear the parachute
41
00:02:25,430 --> 00:02:28,790
and carry the baby and save us both?
It has to be one or the other.
42
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:29,950
Why?
43
00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:32,430
OK, say you had no arms,
so you couldn't carry the baby. Right.
44
00:02:32,470 --> 00:02:34,350
Getting the parachute on's going to
be tricky.
45
00:02:34,390 --> 00:02:36,110
Pulling the cord, nightmare.
46
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,710
Hey, Mum. What're you up to?
47
00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:45,670
Oh, pretty full-on today. I've got a
driving lesson, life coaching, but,
48
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,390
you'll be pleased to hear the big news,
49
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:49,830
I've got an audition on Friday,
so preparing for that and...
50
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,310
Billy's getting out this afternoon
51
00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:53,510
and I think we should go and
pick him up. Right, what?
52
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:56,150
I thought he had another two weeks.
Nope, he's finished today.
53
00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,470
So, will you come with me to get him?
OK. OK. Jesus.
54
00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:01,430
He is your brother and I
don't ask much of you.
55
00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:03,830
And also,
I've a dozen new tea towels for you,
56
00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:06,150
really good ones these are now,
honestly.
57
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:08,350
More absorbent than sand.
58
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:10,390
Fine, yeah. Fine. Just pick me up.
59
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:14,110
Great. I'll see you later then.
60
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:17,470
What's going on?
Billy's getting out of rehab, again,
61
00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:21,510
and, as usual, everything in my
life has to come to a fucking halt.
62
00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:34,670
What's happening? Are you trying
to fart? Go to the window. No!
63
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:37,430
I really want this part but
I need to be able to cry.
64
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:40,710
Something's wrong, it's blocked.
It's like my eyes are constipated.
65
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:43,990
I can cry on demand.
66
00:03:44,030 --> 00:03:45,350
Go on, then.
67
00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:49,390
OK. Um...
68
00:04:04,190 --> 00:04:06,350
You see?
69
00:04:06,390 --> 00:04:07,750
What'd you think about?
70
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:11,790
Oh. Throwing that baby off the plane.
71
00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:16,910
Oh.
72
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,731
Hey. Hey.
73
00:04:19,771 --> 00:04:23,131
Wow, you smell nice...
Wow! You're in a suit.
74
00:04:23,171 --> 00:04:26,131
Yeah, I have something on after this,
so...
75
00:04:26,171 --> 00:04:28,531
Oh, what? A date?
76
00:04:28,571 --> 00:04:31,451
It is, isn't it? A date.
77
00:04:31,491 --> 00:04:34,571
A daytime date in a suit. A bit much.
78
00:04:34,611 --> 00:04:37,571
Look at me. I'm the king of Tinder.
79
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,211
You trying to be the Tinder King, Jon?
80
00:04:39,251 --> 00:04:42,771
No. No, I'm not trying to be the...
81
00:04:42,811 --> 00:04:45,051
Tinder King. It's not a date.
82
00:04:45,091 --> 00:04:46,571
What is it, then?
83
00:04:46,611 --> 00:04:49,171
It's a wedding. Oh, I see.
84
00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:50,971
Actually, speaking of dates...
85
00:04:51,011 --> 00:04:52,411
Um...
86
00:04:52,451 --> 00:04:56,451
Before we get going, I...
I just wanted to ask you something.
87
00:04:57,091 --> 00:04:59,811
Um...
88
00:04:59,851 --> 00:05:03,011
God, I don't know how to do this.
I was wondering if you,
89
00:05:03,051 --> 00:05:07,051
uh, could do Tuesday instead
of Wednesday next week?
90
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,411
Yes. Yep. That's fine, I reckon.
I could...
91
00:05:11,451 --> 00:05:13,851
I have to check it and move a few
things about but that should,
92
00:05:13,891 --> 00:05:17,611
that's totally workable.
Good, because I have an actual date...
93
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,771
then. You know, a suitless date,
actually. Oh, nice.
94
00:05:19,811 --> 00:05:20,811
Well, good for you.
95
00:05:20,851 --> 00:05:23,811
Yeah, she is. Wow. Yeah.
I don't want to pry, I think I was
96
00:05:23,851 --> 00:05:26,291
just joking at the beginning.
We've got a lot of driving
97
00:05:26,331 --> 00:05:30,171
to be getting on with so...
Anyway, you left this in the car.
98
00:05:30,211 --> 00:05:32,931
Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, thank you.
Actually, I went back to give it
99
00:05:32,971 --> 00:05:34,651
to you but your...
100
00:05:34,691 --> 00:05:38,011
your boyfriend was there? He's my ex.
101
00:05:38,051 --> 00:05:41,171
Whatever. He was there and... Yeah,
he's my ex. Anyway. Don't forget it.
102
00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:45,211
Oh, and you also left that.
103
00:05:45,491 --> 00:05:47,331
Your gratitude journal.
104
00:05:47,371 --> 00:05:48,531
Did you read it?
105
00:05:48,571 --> 00:05:50,251
No. You're lying.
106
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:52,011
Yeah.
107
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,571
So, you did read it? No, I filled it in.
108
00:05:54,611 --> 00:05:57,491
I mean surely you have more
to be grateful for than...
109
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,171
than, um, peas.
110
00:05:59,211 --> 00:06:03,211
"I am grateful for the kindness
and extreme patience
111
00:06:03,251 --> 00:06:06,411
"my driving instructor is showing me,
even though I am...
112
00:06:06,451 --> 00:06:08,811
"exhausting company."
113
00:06:08,851 --> 00:06:12,851
Wow. OK.
114
00:06:14,011 --> 00:06:18,011
Where is he, Marcella? It's gone two.
115
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:22,251
Oh. It's so good to see you.
116
00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:23,771
You look so well.
117
00:06:23,811 --> 00:06:27,371
How're you feeling?
I'm good, Mum. Thank you.
118
00:06:27,411 --> 00:06:29,851
You didn't need to come pick me up. Oh.
119
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:33,611
All right, Marc? Hey, Billy,
it's nice to see looking well and...
120
00:06:33,651 --> 00:06:37,651
OK. So, the first thing I need to
say straight out the gate is that
121
00:06:37,971 --> 00:06:41,371
I don't want to be
called Billy any more.
122
00:06:41,411 --> 00:06:44,091
OK? Sasha Fierce.
123
00:06:44,131 --> 00:06:47,691
I thought the first thing you
might've said was, "sorry" but... Mum?
124
00:06:47,731 --> 00:06:51,291
Marcella is being hostile and I'm
not even outside the building yet.
125
00:06:51,331 --> 00:06:54,611
Marcella, stop being a fucker.
126
00:06:54,651 --> 00:06:57,011
What's your new name then? William.
127
00:06:57,051 --> 00:07:01,051
It's the same name as Billy,
but it's like the more adult version.
128
00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:03,971
That is an amazing fact.
Let me tweet that right now.
129
00:07:04,011 --> 00:07:05,691
I don't want to forget that. Mum!
130
00:07:05,731 --> 00:07:06,771
Marcella, stop it!
131
00:07:06,811 --> 00:07:10,251
I want to move on from Billy, you know.
He was young and foolish
132
00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:13,291
and William is committed to
being an adult, you know.
133
00:07:13,331 --> 00:07:17,251
William wants to be the good guy.
134
00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:18,691
Oh, you're not.
135
00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:21,171
Oh, oh. So, Billy the Kid took
the cocaine and now you're
136
00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,771
William the Conqueror,
you ain't got to say sorry? Mum?
137
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,651
I would like to be called Batman.
No, William is...
138
00:07:26,691 --> 00:07:29,531
Stop talking about yourself in the
third person. It's really creepy.
139
00:07:29,571 --> 00:07:33,171
Why don't you just come out and
say sorry... Oh, Jesus Christ!
140
00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:36,131
I will call either of you
whatever you want!
141
00:07:36,171 --> 00:07:37,891
Just stop this!
142
00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:40,411
Always this shite with the two of you.
143
00:07:40,451 --> 00:07:42,171
It breaks my heart!
144
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:45,931
Please, please,
please do not take cocaine any more.
145
00:07:45,971 --> 00:07:48,771
I cannot bear it.
146
00:07:48,811 --> 00:07:51,051
I love you. Yes, Mum.
147
00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:52,331
You.
148
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:56,371
Please, please, please brush your hair.
149
00:07:56,771 --> 00:07:59,491
It's about self-care, Marcella.
150
00:07:59,531 --> 00:08:01,451
I love you too. Oh, oh.
151
00:08:01,491 --> 00:08:05,491
You're saying, "brush your hair"
in exactly the same tone
152
00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:08,131
as, "don't take cocaine any more"?
153
00:08:08,171 --> 00:08:10,691
I mean, it's like "Oh, if Billy
needs a telling off..." William,
154
00:08:10,731 --> 00:08:12,491
for fuck's sake!
155
00:08:12,531 --> 00:08:15,651
My name is William! You heard the man.
His name is William!
156
00:08:15,691 --> 00:08:18,931
I could just use your support
and not your shitty judgment.
157
00:08:18,971 --> 00:08:20,851
Oh.
158
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:24,651
Now look.
159
00:08:24,691 --> 00:08:28,691
I'm sad. I'm sad.
I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm sad.
160
00:08:30,571 --> 00:08:32,411
Are you trying to fart? Sh.
161
00:08:32,451 --> 00:08:33,971
Sad. I'm sad. I'm sad.
162
00:08:34,011 --> 00:08:36,771
Oh, Jesus. Wait till you get outside.
163
00:08:43,053 --> 00:08:44,893
So, Marcella, how has your week been?
164
00:08:44,933 --> 00:08:48,173
Uh, yeah. My brother got out of rehab,
which is good.
165
00:08:48,213 --> 00:08:50,773
Do you get on with your brother? Yeah.
166
00:08:50,813 --> 00:08:53,733
Sort of. No.
167
00:08:53,773 --> 00:08:56,613
Get ready to meet your maker, bitch.
168
00:08:56,653 --> 00:08:58,733
Meet your maker?
169
00:08:58,773 --> 00:09:01,013
I watched a lot of Westerns.
170
00:09:01,053 --> 00:09:03,013
I do love my brother,
171
00:09:03,053 --> 00:09:04,893
but I want to hate him.
172
00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:06,733
I want not to care about him.
173
00:09:06,773 --> 00:09:10,613
I feel like he feeds off people
caring and it's just more attention.
174
00:09:10,653 --> 00:09:13,973
Tell your brother how it makes you feel.
175
00:09:14,013 --> 00:09:15,173
What?
176
00:09:15,213 --> 00:09:17,973
Tell your brother...
177
00:09:18,013 --> 00:09:19,413
how it makes you feel.
178
00:09:19,453 --> 00:09:21,213
Yeah. That's not my bag, that...
179
00:09:21,253 --> 00:09:23,653
Marcella, all I'm asking...
180
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:27,693
is you go for it.
181
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:31,493
Tell him.
182
00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,173
Hi, Billy.
183
00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:35,813
William. Oh. Brilliant.
184
00:09:35,853 --> 00:09:36,973
Oh, my God!
185
00:09:37,013 --> 00:09:39,053
Fucking hell! That was horrible!
186
00:09:39,093 --> 00:09:42,533
Uh... OK. You're doing great.
Fantastic work.
187
00:09:42,573 --> 00:09:44,253
No, no, no, no, no...
188
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:46,533
I'm...
I mean I'm not talking to a cactus.
189
00:09:46,573 --> 00:09:48,813
Marcella, watch me.
190
00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:51,293
Now.
191
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,933
Hello, Auntie Pauline. Oh, no.
You're not really going to do this,
192
00:09:53,973 --> 00:09:55,933
are you?
Please, please, Marcella, please?
193
00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:59,373
OK. Now, last Sunday you said
my house smelt like it was haunted
194
00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:01,853
by a ghost of an old...
195
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,853
shit.
196
00:10:03,893 --> 00:10:06,933
And then at Christmas,
in front of everybody,
197
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,653
you said that you would rather
sleep in the litter tray
198
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,893
than on my sofa bed.
199
00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:15,053
I think you are a nasty person.
200
00:10:15,093 --> 00:10:18,573
Actually, I don't think nasty cuts it.
I think you... You're horrible.
201
00:10:18,613 --> 00:10:20,893
You're a horrible, horrible person.
202
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:23,733
I wish you would go away from my
life and I wish you would just...
203
00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:26,733
Hey, hey, hey! Are we sharing
this session? Sorry, yeah.
204
00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:28,573
I've got some things I'd
like to talk about.
205
00:10:28,613 --> 00:10:31,333
No, it's... Sorry. That's...
That's powerful stuff.
206
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:34,853
Right. Let's say goodbye
to Auntie Pauline.
207
00:10:34,893 --> 00:10:37,973
That is the weirdest thing
I've ever seen. Um..
208
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:42,013
Let's... OK. Oh!
How did the big audition go?
209
00:10:42,213 --> 00:10:44,053
It's not till tomorrow. Of course!
210
00:10:44,093 --> 00:10:45,973
And, uh, how's crying?
211
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,733
Cos last week you said you
were having trouble crying?
212
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,813
Yeah. Still haven't.
213
00:10:50,853 --> 00:10:52,973
Arg. I can't. I've tried everything. OK.
214
00:10:53,013 --> 00:10:56,173
And have you made a concerted
effort to try and verbally
215
00:10:56,213 --> 00:10:59,653
express your displeasure...
Yeah, like we discussed?
216
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:03,213
Because if you are blocked here,
maybe you're blocked here.
217
00:11:03,253 --> 00:11:04,733
Yeah.
218
00:11:04,773 --> 00:11:07,533
I, uh, took your advice.
219
00:11:07,573 --> 00:11:11,093
And?
220
00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:15,133
Yeah, I don't like it, it's boring.
I do have a nice ice cream though.
221
00:11:15,573 --> 00:11:18,013
It's strawberry. It's my favourite.
222
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:21,053
The film's really loud,
I can't hear you. Little...
223
00:11:21,093 --> 00:11:22,453
You've got a new cat? Little girl?
224
00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:24,693
Little girl!
We don't use our phones in the cinema!
225
00:11:24,733 --> 00:11:26,653
It's naughty and very rude.
226
00:11:26,693 --> 00:11:30,693
Hold on, Polly.
I'm going to speak to the lady.
227
00:11:35,613 --> 00:11:37,973
What did you say?
228
00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:40,173
I wasn't talking to you.
I wasn't talking to you.
229
00:11:40,213 --> 00:11:42,173
I was talking to Emma Thompson.
230
00:11:42,213 --> 00:11:43,253
Shut up, Emma!
231
00:11:43,293 --> 00:11:45,213
Give someone else a go,
for Christ's sake.
232
00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:46,853
Just please stop being...
233
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:54,933
Asshole.
234
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,853
Well...
235
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:03,893
At least I had the courage of my
convictions, unlike you lot.
236
00:12:04,893 --> 00:12:08,893
Watch the film in peace now.
237
00:12:09,693 --> 00:12:12,253
I'm not condoning her behaviour,
238
00:12:12,293 --> 00:12:16,093
but I do not blame that
woman for being upset.
239
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:20,133
Emma Thompson is the finest actor
this country has ever produced.
240
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:24,573
Right. Well,
you've completely misunderstood.
241
00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:26,613
I agree, she's very good.
242
00:12:26,653 --> 00:12:29,453
Um... Marcella, tell me about Simon.
243
00:12:29,493 --> 00:12:33,493
Why did you break up? Why? Tell me why.
244
00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:34,613
What're you...
245
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:37,093
Oh, OK. You're trying to make me cry.
246
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,773
Nice. But, no.
247
00:12:38,813 --> 00:12:41,453
I think we need to
release this blockage.
248
00:12:41,493 --> 00:12:45,493
Um... When did you first realise
that it was just... It was over?
249
00:12:47,253 --> 00:12:49,253
Oh, well, hello.
250
00:12:49,293 --> 00:12:51,973
You know what, if you're a fan of
leeks like I am, then you're going
251
00:12:52,013 --> 00:12:54,693
love this dinner. It's just perfect,
it's cheap, it's healthy,
252
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,293
for any night of the week, really is.
253
00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:58,773
Oh, by the way,
just found out the stag do's in Vegas.
254
00:12:58,813 --> 00:13:02,333
Oh, that's original.
255
00:13:02,373 --> 00:13:05,253
Marc, they're the wrong ones.
256
00:13:05,293 --> 00:13:08,133
Told me to get you onions.
I said red onions. No, you didn't.
257
00:13:08,173 --> 00:13:10,813
I said red onions about 20 times,
are you joking?
258
00:13:10,853 --> 00:13:12,933
Well...
259
00:13:12,973 --> 00:13:15,773
Onions is onions.
260
00:13:15,813 --> 00:13:18,413
"Onions is onions." I mean that's
the problem with you, isn't it?
261
00:13:18,453 --> 00:13:21,453
Onions is onions. All right, calm down.
I'll go get another onion.
262
00:13:21,493 --> 00:13:23,933
No, actually, do you know what?
I'll go. Don't bother. I'll go
263
00:13:23,973 --> 00:13:26,493
cos you know what? You might get to
the shop and think that onion
264
00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:29,133
is a carrot or shoe. What are you doing?
Oh, look at me, I'll go rip
265
00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:30,653
my apron off and go and be a martyr.
266
00:13:30,693 --> 00:13:33,373
Hello, my name's Marcella and
welcome to my cookery programme.
267
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,293
Ah! Right. Basic.
What're we cooking tonight?
268
00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,493
I don't know. Bread and eggs.
Doesn't really matter.
269
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:40,573
Bread is eggs, eggs is bread. Right.
So, just throw all that in.
270
00:13:40,613 --> 00:13:42,693
Add some water. Glass of water will do.
271
00:13:42,733 --> 00:13:45,413
Gallon of water.
You could piss in it for all I care.
272
00:13:45,453 --> 00:13:48,453
Why can't you just to do details?
273
00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,893
What's wrong with you?
274
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:54,373
Sorry. I just... I feel like I'm
the one making the effort.
275
00:13:54,413 --> 00:13:55,573
Sorry.
276
00:13:55,613 --> 00:13:57,893
OK. Well, listen...
If this onion's that important,
277
00:13:57,933 --> 00:13:59,693
we'll just... I'll just...
We'll order in.
278
00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:03,653
We'll just order some food. It's not
about the food though, is it, Marc?
279
00:14:03,693 --> 00:14:06,013
You know,
I'm going on my third stag do this year
280
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:09,973
and you and me can't even build
a fucking meal together.
281
00:14:10,013 --> 00:14:11,813
I didn't know, maybe it's...
282
00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:14,493
What?
283
00:14:14,533 --> 00:14:16,733
Maybe it's what?
284
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,293
Just needed the onions.
285
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,373
It wasn't over.
286
00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:24,413
It was just a row about an onion
that got way out of hand.
287
00:14:25,253 --> 00:14:27,373
Still no tears.
288
00:14:27,413 --> 00:14:29,853
I suppose that's a good thing really,
when you think about it.
289
00:14:29,893 --> 00:14:32,613
It's progress. Yeah.
290
00:14:32,653 --> 00:14:35,813
Um.. Just out of curiosity...
291
00:14:35,853 --> 00:14:38,573
what was he cooking?
292
00:14:38,613 --> 00:14:39,613
You're joking, right?
293
00:14:39,653 --> 00:14:42,253
That's not your question. It's a test.
294
00:14:42,293 --> 00:14:49,933
Um... I mean...
295
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,533
I just can't do it.
296
00:14:54,573 --> 00:14:55,893
I just...
297
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,240
Just this, please.
298
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,360
One apple?
299
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,360
It's an onion. Just one?
300
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,400
Yes, please.
301
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,600
Do you have a knife I can borrow?
302
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,440
Oh, you want to peel your apple?
303
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,480
It's an...
304
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,920
Yes, I'd like to peel my apple...
305
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,720
No!
Go home and peel your apple, not HERE!
306
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:45,760
Fine, fine, I'll just bite it.
307
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,720
You don't like your apple?
308
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,040
God dammit... Marcella!
309
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,080
Hi!
310
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,280
Tania, how are you?
Are you all right? What are you...
311
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,440
what are you up to?
Oh, I'm fine, you know, just, uh...
312
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,200
buying the condoms!
313
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,240
Wow!
314
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,160
Yeah. Uh, h-h-h-how is um...
315
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,200
how is Simon? Uh, a-apart from...
316
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,400
Erect!
317
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,000
No! No, sorry, um,
that was a really bad joke.
318
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,080
And weird...
No, it's a good joke, it's a good joke.
319
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,000
Yeah, h-he's OK, you know,
h-he's bearing up.
320
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,720
I-It would be really nice if you
could give him a call actually,
321
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,240
I know he'd love to hear from you.
322
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,400
You're like a sister to him.
323
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,640
So... Yeah, yeah...
324
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,160
yeah.
325
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,600
A-Are you OK?
326
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,520
Yeah! Uh, she doesn't like apple.
327
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,720
I don't like apples either actually,
they're really acidic.
328
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,120
I love apples, but I am in a rush.
329
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,760
So I'm really sorry but I'm going
to...going to have to go...
330
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,480
Sorry, I know the condom,
it was weird, wasn't it? I was just...
331
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,560
No, it's a good joke!
332
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,600
I enjoyed it, it's a good joke so...
Yeah, I-I'll tell him you said hi.
333
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:46,320
She crazy! Just those, thanks.
334
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,480
Party balloons?
335
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,120
No.
336
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:57,240
Marcella Donahue?
337
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,200
And whenever you're ready.
338
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:04,080
OK.
339
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,120
You! Get on your horse!
340
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,760
Your mule.
341
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:11,400
Sorry? Your mule. Oh, sorry. OK...
342
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,640
You, get on your mule!
343
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,760
All we had between us is buried in
this soil.
344
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,800
And neither your tears or
mine will make this right.
345
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,920
Oh, but these tears...
346
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:31,160
These tears...
347
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,200
These...
348
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,840
These!
349
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,320
These tears!
350
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:47,280
These tears...
351
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,320
are full of rage and fury.
352
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,680
Look at me!
353
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,720
Look in my EYES!
354
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,960
I will cry...
355
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,680
for 100...
356
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:14,240
years.
357
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,040
Thank you.
358
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,960
It's emotional, isn't it?
359
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,680
Thank you very much for...
360
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,440
seeing me.
361
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:31,320
Thank you.
362
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,699
Their poor eyes!
363
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,700
I know...
364
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:43,460
Who do you keep texting?
365
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,660
Billy, he's around the corner so
he's going to pop in and say hi.
366
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,860
Or "William," should I say. What?!
367
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,660
What? You're not going to start all
this stuff up with him again, are you?
368
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,104
What stuff?
What do you mean, "What"?
369
00:18:53,304 --> 00:18:55,140
Don't look at me in the face
and say, "What stuff,"
370
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:57,820
like you haven't been each other's
fallback shag since we were kids.
371
00:18:57,860 --> 00:18:59,740
It's weird and I always end up stuck
in the middle
372
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:02,500
and I don't like it. No, honestly,
i-it's not like that, and I'm just...
373
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:03,700
I am just being his friend.
374
00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:07,740
No, I'm your friend and that's why
you've never got off your tits on MDMA
375
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:11,300
and sucked me off in front of my dad's
Aga at nine o'clock in the morning. What?
376
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,740
Y-You're such a p...you're a
p...you're a perv!
377
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:14,900
What's wrong with you?
378
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:17,700
Really? Yes. Or are you animals for
it's not...it's a kitchen.
379
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,740
It's nine o'clock,
I want to get breakfast.
380
00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:23,900
You didn't tell me Simon was coming.
I didn't know.
381
00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:26,500
All right, Luce.
Hi, Marce, didn't know you'd be here.
382
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,700
Hi. Hi. Hello, twice in one day.
383
00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:30,740
Yes, weird, isn't it? Simon, hello.
384
00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:33,380
How are you? Good?
Luce, Tania, Tania, Lucy.
385
00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:34,620
Hi... Hi, Tania.
386
00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:37,660
Tania. Luce.
387
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,100
Nice to see you.
388
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:43,340
You two ordered? Nope.
389
00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:46,260
Oh, they do arancini balls here, Marce.
Oh, I bloody love arancini balls.
390
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,500
Marce once ate 17 on the trot at
a Bar Mitzvah.
391
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:50,140
N?No, I didn't.
392
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,860
Yeah, you did. Simon, do you remember
that, when she ate 17 arancini...
393
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,020
Yeah...balls?
394
00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:59,020
That's a lot, innit?
395
00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:02,420
Yeah, uh... I don't...I'm not really
into arancini balls, you know?
396
00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:06,460
If I'm going to have a starter, I'm...I'm
just going to go straight in for the uh...
397
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,300
squid!
398
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:10,420
Yes, please. I love squid.
399
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,140
So much. Not just squid,
I might even go for the...
400
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:14,980
So, Marce, how was your audition?
401
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:18,020
Actually, it's a really funny story,
innit?
402
00:20:18,060 --> 00:20:19,340
You were buying apples!
403
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:21,060
Yeah, it was, it was,
it wasn't that funny.
404
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,420
It was fine, it was actually...
405
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:24,740
Do you know what though?
I've got, um, work in the morning,
406
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:27,860
so, uh,
sorry to cut all this short but...
407
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,260
Can't you just have a drink?
408
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,620
Well, no, I've got,
I've got...work in the morning...
409
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:32,740
Yeah, but we just got here.
410
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:36,020
Mate, she's got work, she's got work.
411
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,700
OK. Yeah. Anyway, see you later.
I'll walk you out.
412
00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:40,220
No, no honestly..
413
00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:43,740
you stay where you are, I'm good.
414
00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:47,780
I'll go.
415
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:49,620
Marce! Marce, look, Marce...
416
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:52,780
OK, before you go batshit at me, I honestly
didn't know you were going to be here.
417
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:55,660
Now, I'm not that much of a dick...
Why are you even hanging out with him?
418
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,540
He's my friend and he texted me and
told me about his mum.
419
00:20:58,580 --> 00:21:00,860
To be fair, he's one of my only
friends who doesn't do coke.
420
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:04,300
All right. But if you're not cool with him
and I hanging out, then I'll respect that...
421
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:08,020
It's fine, I mean I'd rather you be hanging
out with him than Skinny Pig or Uni-nostril.
422
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,180
But I mean, it's not an ideal choice...
423
00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:13,940
I'm sorry I was a dick about your name but
I worry you focus on the wrong things and...
424
00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:16,820
I want to get well, Marce,
and being called William is just...
425
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:20,140
it's just one of the things I'm doing,
to do that. But it's not the only thing.
426
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:23,980
I'm going meetings, I'm meditating.
427
00:21:24,020 --> 00:21:27,940
I really need your support,
and Mum and Dad's.
428
00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:29,420
OK...
429
00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:32,940
I-I love you.
430
00:21:32,980 --> 00:21:36,060
You're right, I should have said sorry
the first thing when you picked me up.
431
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:37,540
You're my sister,
432
00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:40,060
and I don't want to hurt you and Mum
and I...
433
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:44,100
I just feel so ashamed when I...
434
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:49,100
I love you too, dick face.
435
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:54,780
Um...
436
00:21:54,820 --> 00:21:56,860
but we need to get one thing straight.
437
00:21:56,900 --> 00:22:00,460
I didn't eat 17 arancini balls.
438
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:02,860
It was 23.
439
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:05,220
Go back in to your best mates.
440
00:22:05,260 --> 00:22:09,260
See you later.
441
00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:16,540
Hey, so, yeah, you left us in the car...
442
00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:19,180
John. Hey, hi!
443
00:22:19,220 --> 00:22:20,380
Oh, what's wrong?
444
00:22:20,420 --> 00:22:22,820
Uh, what? No, I...
445
00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:24,460
Oh, my God!
446
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,500
I got the part!
447
00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:26,700
Hey!
448
00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:28,140
I got the part!
449
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,940
I'm so happy, I really needed this
today, it was such a horrible...
450
00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:33,500
Sorry...sweetie.
451
00:22:33,540 --> 00:22:36,060
I needed...I really needed...
452
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:37,860
If you were king of the jungle...
Oh, yeah...
453
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:40,740
Marcella, if a lion could talk, would
you have more or less empathy for it?
454
00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:44,780
Be honest, Marcella,
you'd want to kick it in the face.
455
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:46,860
Right.
456
00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:48,260
Well...
457
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,300
Anyway... Let's park that, OK?
458
00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:54,340
Um, yeah, sorry about us.
459
00:22:56,660 --> 00:22:57,660
I...
460
00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:59,620
uh, have your head torch.
461
00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:01,500
My head torch.
462
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:03,460
Uh, see you...see you Wednesday.
463
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:07,500
Wednesday.
464
00:23:10,020 --> 00:23:12,020
You're the TV licence guy.
465
00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:13,700
What? I see you parked out there.
466
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,420
You're the TV licence guy.
467
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,900
Linda, he's my driving instructor,
that's why he's parked out there.
468
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:21,020
I know TV licence guys,
469
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:24,060
and I ain't showing you SHIT.
470
00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:29,740
Wednesday.
See you later, see you Wednesday.
471
00:23:29,780 --> 00:23:33,780
See you Wednesday.
472
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:39,100
Da-da-da-da
473
00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:41,260
Dum, da-dum...
474
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:43,460
I'm not the TV licence guy!
475
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:45,340
Dum, da-dum
476
00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:47,540
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
477
00:23:47,580 --> 00:23:50,020
Why haven't I told you
478
00:23:50,060 --> 00:23:54,060
Oh, baby, I've told every little star
479
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:59,700
Just how sweet I think you are
480
00:24:00,340 --> 00:24:04,340
Why haven't I told you...
481
00:24:04,390 --> 00:24:08,940
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