All language subtitles for Batman The Animated Series (1992) - S02E09 - Trial

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

JUDGE: The prisoner will stand.

Pamela Lillian Isley,

District Attorney Van Dorn has asked

that the maximum sentence of life
imprisonment be imposed upon you.

However, as your apprehension came
at the hands of the Batman,

and not a recognized agent of the law,

this court has no choice
but to return you to Arkham Asylum,

where it is hoped you will complete
your rehabilitation.

Hi, Red. Hi. Welcome home.

Hi, Harley.

(KEYS JANGLING)

Aw, things didn't go too good, huh?

- Nope.
- Well, cheer up.

Word is we're gonna throw
a little party.

And old Jervis here has the invitations.

Not only does Batman create
these so-called super-criminals,

he takes it upon himself
to be their judge and jury

with no regard for the legal system.

FEMALE REPORTER: It sounds like
you want to put Batman on trial.

Believe me, I'd like nothing better.

- Strong words.
- It's got to stop, Jim.

As Gotham's new district attorney,

I can't allow your pet nut
to run loose in my city.

I mean it.

Janet, it's a war zone out there,
and Batman is our best weapon.

And I say he's a drug the city keeps
taking to avoid facing reality.

(BLINDS RATTLING)

Speak of the devil.

The East Side Skulls are ready
to declare war on the other gangs.

Old news. My department's already

planning a sting to catch
the Skulls' leader.

Don't bother.

Very cute, mister.

You want to support law and order?

You take off that mask
and put on a uniform.

You hear me, Batman?
This is the last time!

The next time I see him,
it will be a whole different story.

Hello, Bruce.

Janet, I'm so glad we're able to meet
on such short notice.

It seems every place I look
there's our crusading DA

leading the campaign
to rid our city of Batman.

Oh, please. He's the last person
I want to talk about tonight.

Oh, sorry.

Still, even you have to admit
Batman's come through now and then.

But look at the lunatic fringe
he's created.

The Joker, Two-Face, Poison Ivy,
and the rest.

Batman's responsible
for every one of them.

Excuse me, Ms. Van Dorn,
but your office just called.

They said it's an emergency.

I'm sorry, Bruce. I won't be a minute.

Take your time.

(BRUCE WHISTLING)

Uh, excuse me,
have you seen Ms. Van Dorn?

- Not in the last half-hour, sir.
- MAN: Look.

Must be trouble.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

MAN 1: Look at that.
MAN 2: I've never seen that before.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

It's Van Dorn's.

It was dropped on the front desk
20 minutes ago.

Along with this.

BATMAN: "Batman, come alone to where
lives hang in the balance"

"or the law in Gotham dies."

You there! Come into the light.

I said...

- (GRUNTS)
- (OBJECT CRASHES)

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS IN PAIN)

Oh, no, you don't.

Ta-da!

(HARLEY SCREAMS)

Let me out. Do you hear me?

Whoever you are, let me out this second.

(DOOR UNLOCKS)

Welcome to Arkham, Van Dorn.

Two-Face.

Don't bother screaming for help.

The white coats can't hear you.

(GASPS)

TWO-FACE: Matter of fact,
they can't do much of anything,

thanks to the Mad Hatter.

You're going to escape?

Eventually.

We've got some legal business
to settle first.

- What do you mean?
- I'm talking about a trial.

Me, the prosecutor.

You, the defense.

And your client...

Is Batman.

(BATMAN GRUNTING)

This is insane. Me defending you?

As far as I'm concerned,
you belong in here with them.

(GROANS) Whatever.

You've gotta go through with it.
It's their game and their rules.

Let's go. Move it.

Indeed.

Can't keep the judge waiting.

TWO-FACE: You've said it yourself, lady.

Batman made every one of us.

So, we're placing him before the bar
to face our justice.

And me?

Basic 50/50 option.

You get him off. You both go free.

He goes down,

you take the fall with him.

MAD HATTER: Amusing idea, what?

Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney?

Personally, I suggested a quick slug
between the eyes.

But I lost the coin toss.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

I borrowed your belt, Bats,
but it doesn't do a thing for me.

KILLER CROC: Sit down.

Oyez. Oyez.

He says, "Oyez," dirt bags! Dummy up.

Sheesh!

I gotta do everything for you.

Court is now in session.

The good people of Arkham Asylum

versus the self-righteous vigilante
called Batman.

Our prosecutor is ready.

Likewise, our fair and impartial jury.

- Hang him.
- Shoot him.

Hit him with a rock.

And now all rise for the most honorable,
most benevolent, most merciful

Judge Joker.

(ALL CHEERING)

Guilty!

I was promised a chance
to defend my client.

Oh, very well.

Like it'll make a difference.

Mr. Prosecutor,
make your opening statement.

Look at us.

We're all freaks and monsters.

And who made us this way?

Batman.

(ALL SHOUTING)

Go on, lady. Defend him if you can.

Call the first witness.

Yo, Hat. On the stand.

Proceed, counselor.

I suppose you, like your friends,

claim that Batman
drove you to be a criminal?

He did.

And yet, as I recall your case,

you brainwashed and kidnapped
a woman who rejected you.

Batman forced me to do it.

He was going to take her away from me.
I had no choice.

You could have respected her wishes
and left her alone.

I'd have killed her first!

Ooh.

I'd like that last statement
stricken from the record, please.

Record? Is someone supposed
to be writing this down?

(SIGHS) This is crazy.

That's beside the point.
Just keep it going.

Looks like Batman's hunch was wrong.
There's no sign of him or Ms. Van Dorn.

But he was here, all right.

I object to this witness.

She's obviously trying
to influence the judge.

- What makes you say that?
- Never mind.

Do you have a statement?

I just wanna say,
if there was no Batman,

there'd be no Joker.

And I'd never have met my pudding.

Thank you, Batman.

Sad, isn't it?

Harleen Quinzel was a doctor
here at Arkham

until the Joker twisted her mind.

Ha! You're just jealous
because you don't have a fella

who's as loving and loyal to you
as my pudding is to me.

(SIGHS)

Uh-huh.

And I suppose it was
that same loyalty I saw

the last time you escaped,
and pudding here...

Finked on you
in hopes of getting time off.

Is that true, pudding?

"Finked" is such an ugly word.

You lousy scum-sucking creep!

The witness is excused.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Slimy rat!

(HARLEY YELLING)

KILLER CROC: Knock it off, lady.

(PROTESTING INCOHERENTLY)

I'll kick that grin off your silly face.

(PANTING)

And so it's Batman's fault
you lead a life of crime.

He should have let me bump off
Harvey Dent.

We'd all have been better off,
wouldn't we, Harv?

Why, you rotten little...

JANET: But, Ms. Isley,

isn't the real motivation
for your crimes

your obsession with plants?

That you prefer them to people?

I love plants, honey,
but a rose is a rose.

Then it doesn't bother you when someone,

let's say the judge here,
ruthlessly plucks

a defenseless flower
from the warm green earth?

No.

Even knowing he's given it
his death sentence?

That its petals must die?

- Stop it.
- JANET: One by one.

Withering, falling.

One by one, until it's all gone. Honey.

(IVY YELLS)

Ms. Ivy, please.

You're beautiful when you're angry.

(LAUGHS EVILLY)

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

I used to believe Batman
was responsible for you people.

But now I see nearly everyone here
would've ended up exactly the same,

Batman or not.

Oh, the gimmicks might be different.

But you'd all be out there in some form
or another, bringing misery to Gotham.

The truth is you created him.

- GORDON: It's working.
- (DEVICE BEEPING)

Looks like a tracking device.

It's pointing north.

The Somerset District.

Nothing much out there except...

Arkham.

Jury, you've heard the evidence.

Consider your verdict.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Your Honor, in light
of Ms. Van Dorn's stirring defense,

we have no choice
but to find the defendant...

Not guilty.

(CROWD SHOUTING)

Amazing.

Well done, counselor.

You've proven that Batman
didn't create us.

That we, in fact,
messed up our own rotten lives.

And as we are so rotten,
vile and depraved,

we're going to waste you anyway.

(GASPS)

(CHEERING)

(IMITATING PORKY PIG STAMMERING)

That's all, folks.

Let's mambo.

Help us! Please!

(GRUNTING)

Let me go.

Anything you say, Jannie-poo.

(IN IRISH ACCENT) And now
for the final confession.

The big secret you've kept from us
for so many years.

Brothers and sisters,
at long last, I give you

the man behind the bat.

What?

MAN: What's going on?
TWO-FACE: He's gone.

Everyone, spread out.
Don't let him get away.

BATMAN: Who says I'm leaving?

(MUFFLED GASP)

What's going on?

Get the light.

Nobody panic.

(MUFFLED PROTESTS)

Okay, start panicking.

(GROWLS) The only way out is through me.

Hold on. You'll hit Croc.

What's your point?

(GROWLING)

(PUNCH THUDS)

(MUFFLED GRUNT)

KILLER CROC: Watch where
you're shooting, clown.

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

I'm hit, boys!

(GRUNTING AT EACH STEP)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

GORDON: Hold it.

Nobody move.

(GUNS COCKING)

Yoo-hoo! Look alive, Batman.

Here comes the judge.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Old Hanging Judge Joker, that's me.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

I see now there's a need
for the things you do.

But I'm still going to work toward
a city that doesn't need Batman.

Me too.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)