All language subtitles for A.Bone.To.Pick.An.Aurora.Teagarden.Mystery.2015.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

♪ ♪

[SHOVEL DIGGING]

♪ ♪

[WOMAN]: ON THE MORNING
OF SEPTEMBER 16, 1922,

IN NEW BRUNSWICK, NEW JERSEY,

A YOUNG COUPLE WENT FOR A WALK
DOWN DE RUSSEY LANE,

THE LOCAL LOVER'S LANE,

AND FOUND A MAN AND A WOMAN
LYING IN AN EMBRACE

ON THE GROUND,

BOTH DEAD.

BOTH SHOT IN THE HEAD.

LOVE LETTERS THE WOMAN
HAD WRITTEN TO THE MAN

WERE RIPPED TO PIECES
AND SCATTERED BETWEEN THEM...

THE MAN WAS EDWARD HALL,
A MINISTER IN A LOCAL CHURCH,

BUT THE WOMAN NEXT TO HIM
WAS NOT HIS WIFE, FRANCES.

IT WAS ELEANOR MILLS,

A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE CHOIR.

THE TWO HAD BEEN HAVING
AN AFFAIR FOR YEARS.

A DISTRAUGHT FRANCES

PUSHED THE POLICE
TO FIND HER HUSBAND'S MURDERER.

ULTIMATELY,
FRANCES' BROTHER, WILLIE,

WHO WAS KNOWN TO HAVE A GRUDGE
AGAINST THE MINISTER,

WAS CHARGED WITH THE MURDERS,

AND THE TRIAL BECAME
THE MOST COVERED TRIAL

IN AMERICAN HISTORY
AT THAT TIME.

THE JURY, HOWEVER,

CAME BACK WITH A VERDICT
OF NOT GUILTY.

THE POLICE AND THE PROSECUTORS
MADE A BIG MISTAKE.

I BELIEVE I KNOW WHO DID KILL
EDWARD AND ELEANOR.

IT WAS FRANCES HALL,

AND I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHY.

[APPLAUSE]

- GREAT JOB.
- THANK YOU.

WELL DONE, INDEED.

THE WAY YOU CUT OUT ALL
THE EXTRANEOUS DETAILS,

MADE HER GUILT
INESCAPABLE.

YES, VERY EFFECTIVE.

I'D READ ABOUT THE CASE,

AND ALWAYS THOUGHT
THE WIFE WAS INNOCENT,

BUT THE WAY
YOU PRESENTED IT,

THAT'S HOW
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE,

AND THEY'D HAVE CAUGHT
AND CONVICTED HER.

BETTER WATCH OUT
THERE, JOHN.

OUR MISS TEAGARDEN

COULD GIVE YOU
A RUN FOR YOUR MONEY

COME THE NEXT ELECTION.

IS THAT SO?

OH, DON'T
LISTEN TO HIM.

YOU'RE THE PERFECT PRESIDENT
FOR THE CLUB.

YES, BUT IT IS
AN INTERESTING QUESTION.

WHICH OF YOU TWO

MIGHT HAVE THE BETTER
SLEUTHING SKILLS?

WELL, NOBODY PICKS UP ON
THOSE DETAILS QUITE LIKE ROE,

BUT I DON'T KNOW.

JOHN'S WRITTEN
ALL THOSE ARTICLES

FOR LIZZIE BORDEN
QUARTERLY.

AND HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE YOU BEEN ON CNN?

OF COURSE, YOU HAVE TO
BE LOYAL TO JOHN.

HE'S YOUR UNCLE.

BUT ROE IS
MY BEST FRIEND,

SO SHE GETS MY VOTE
AND MY LOYALTY.

WELL, JOHN HAS MY VOTE.

WELL, THANK YOU, ROE.

BUT FOR TONIGHT ANYWAY,

YOU'RE CLEARLY
THE MASTER SLEUTH.

I'D GIVE
THE EDGE TO YOU.

WHAT A RABBLE-ROUSER
YOU ARE, JANE.

I HOPE TO SEE YOU
IN CHURCH ON SUNDAY.

OH, WELL,
LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES.

WELL, I'M GOING HOME
TO PONDER MY VOTE.

WOULD YOU LIKE HELP
TO YOUR CAR?

OH, I DON'T DRIVE ANYMORE.

I HAVE A TAXI WAITING,

BUT YOU COULD HELP ME
TO THE DOOR.

OKAY.

TELL ME, DEAR,

HAVE YOU READ
OLIVER TENNANT'S WORK

ON WOMEN WHO GOT AWAY
WITH MURDER?

NO, BUT I'VE HEARD
OF HIS BOOK,

IT'S JUST BEEN OUT OF
PRINT FOR SO LONG.

OH, I HAVE A COPY.

HE SAYS EXACTLY WHAT
YOU DID IN YOUR TALK,

THAT WOMEN WERE
LESS OFTEN SUSPECTED

AND MORE LIKELY
TO BE ACQUITTED

THANKS TO THE ALL-MALE JURIES
BACK IN THOSE DAYS.

MEN JUST CANNOT
BRING THEMSELVES TO BELIEVE

THAT A WOMAN HAS
THE CONSTITUTION TO KILL.

IT MENTIONS FRANCES HALL.

YOU'RE WELCOME TO IT.

OH, I WOULD LOVE TO READ IT.

I CAN COME BY THIS WEEKEND.

COME TOMORROW.

3:00?

AFTER I'VE HAD MY NAP.

I CAN DO THAT.

OH, GOOD.
THANK YOU.

I DON'T REMEMBER JANE
WALKING WITH A CANE BEFORE,

DO YOU?

NO.

AND SHE LOOKED
A LOT THINNER.

I HOPE SHE'S ALL RIGHT.

YEAH.

DID SHE SAY IT AGAIN?

"YOU REMIND ME OF ME
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE."

NO. FOR ONCE.

[CHUCKLING]

BYE! BYE!

HELLO, ROE.

ARTHUR!

YOU DIDN'T THINK

I'D MISS YOUR TAKE
ON HALL-MILLS, DID YOU?

HOW MANY NIGHTS DID WE LET
OUR FOOD GET COLD

TALKING ABOUT FRANCES?

I DIDN'T SEE YOU IN HERE.

YES, WELL,
A POLICE DETECTIVE IS TRAINED

TO BE INVISIBLE WHILE SKULKING.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE INVISIBLE,

AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO QUIT THE CLUB.

MY MOTHER RAISED ME
TO BE A GENTLEMAN.

WELL, DON'T STAY AWAY
BECAUSE OF ME.

I MEAN, I DON'T WANT
TO BRUISE YOUR EGO,

BUT I'VE BEEN OVER YOU
FOR A WHILE NOW.

OOH, OUCH.

OKAY, THAT STINGS A BIT.

BUT SERIOUSLY,

IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.

I MEAN, ESPECIALLY WHEN
YOU'RE ON YOUR GAME LIKE THAT.

THANK YOU.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO.

GOOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT,

MAYBE I WILL START
COMING BACK TO MEETINGS.

I HOPE SO.

YEAH, YOU COULD USE SOMEONE
TO CHALLENGE YOU A BIT.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ ♪

[TYPING]

YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE HERE
EARLIER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

GOOD MORNING
TO YOU, TOO, LILLIAN.

YOU THINK BEING EARLY

EARNS YOU EXTRA POINTS
WITH MR. CROWLEY,

BUT IT DOESN'T.

I JUST LIKE TO
LOOK AT ON THE NEWS

BEFORE MY DAY STARTS.

NOTHING BUT MURDER
AND MAYHEM IN THE NEWS.

EXACTLY.

SPIT IT OUT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

UM, CAN MISS TEAGARDEN HELP ME?

[GRUMBLES, SCOFFING]

DO YOU NEED A BOOK, JARED?

YEAH.

BUT SHE'S MEAN.

MEANER THAN A SNAKE
WITH A SUNBURN.

[CHUCKLES]

NOW, MITCH,
YOU TELL YOUR CLIENTS

WHEN THEY ARE SITTING
ON THAT VERANDAH,

WITH THAT COOL BREEZE
COMING OFF THE STREAM,

THEY'LL THINK THAT EXTRA
20 GRAND IS MORE THAN WORTH IT.

GO ON, TELL THEM,

[LAUGHS]

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

BYE-BYE, MITCH.

STILL HAVE MITCH MARVIN WRAPPED
AROUND YOUR FINGER, I SEE.

NEVER MIND ABOUT HIM.

I'VE COME TO TAKE YOU
TO MY BROKERS' DINNER.

THERE'S A NEW AGENT,

HE'S VERY HANDSOME,

AND I'D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE YOU.

YEAH, WE CAN, UM...

WE CAN STOP AND GET YOU
A NEW DRESS ON THE WAY.

OKAY, FIRST,
I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT,

AND SECOND,
I CAN'T AFFORD A NEW DRESS.

BECAUSE YOU ARE
WOEFULLY UNDERPAID.

I CAN BUY IT FOR YOU.

NO.
YOU ALREADY PAY MY RENT.

I DO NO SUCH THING.

YOU MANAGE MY TOWNHOUSES
IN EXCHANGE FOR RENT.

NO, YOU CAN LET ME
BUY YOU A DRESS.

THIS HAS NO PIZZAZZ.

WHAT? I THINK IT'S...

HONESTLY, AURORA,

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU EXPECT
TO MEET A SUITABLE MAN

UNLESS YOU AT LEAST
TRY TO CATCH HIS EYE?

I MEET MEN, MOTHER.

SOMETIMES, I EVEN DATE THEM.

I SAID "SUITABLE."

THAT SCRUFFY
POLICE PERSON DOESN'T COUNT.

HOW COULD YOU CONSIDER
ARTHUR UNSUITABLE?

HE BELONGED TO THAT
GHOULISH CLUB OF YOURS.

THAT MURDERER'S CLUB.

IT'S POSITIVELY INDECENT,

DIGGING INTO
OTHER PEOPLE'S DEATHS.

YOU ONLY DO THAT
BECAUSE YOU KNOW I DISAPPROVE.

MOTHER, I ADORE YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,
BUT I ADORE YOU.

[CHUCKLING] AW...

I HAVE TO GO
TO MY FRIEND, JANE'S.

WELL, IF YOU
FINISH EARLY,

CAN YOU AT LEAST TRY TO
STOP AT THE RESTAURANT

FOR DESSERT?

HIS NAME IS RAYMOND
AND HE DRIVES A BMW.

WOW, SOME OF THESE BOOKS
ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND.

A FIRST-EDITION
FALL RIVER TRAGEDY?

JOHN WOULD SWOON.

HIS OFFER TO BUY IT

GOES UP BY ANOTHER
$50 EVERY WEEK.

I WISH I HAD HAD ACCESS
TO A COLLECTION LIKE THIS

WHILE I WAS
GETTING MY MASTER'S.

MY THESIS WAS IN
TRUE CRIME LITERATURE.

HUH, THAT WASN'T A SPECIALTY
OF LIBRARY SCIENCE IN MY DAY.

OH, IT'S STILL NOT,
OFFICIALLY.

I THINK I'M THE ONLY LIBRARIAN
IN THE STATE WHO HAS IT.

YOU REMIND ME
OF ME AT YOUR AGE.

YOU DON'T LIKE IT
WHEN I SAY THAT.

YOU THINK IT MEANS

YOU'LL END UP
ALONE LIKE ME,

A SPINSTER LIBRARIAN,

WITH NOTHING BUT
DUSTY MYSTERIES

TO KEEP ME COMPANY.

THE LURE

OF AN UNSOLVED MYSTERY,

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE IT.

I HAVE SAT HERE
ON THIS SEAT

FOR MANY ABSORBING HOURS,

RIGHT HERE,

PUZZLING OUT THE MOST STUBBORN
OF MURDER MYSTERIES.

I'VE NO DOUBT YOU'LL BE
BETTER AT IT THAN ME.

YOU HAVE A MIND FOR MURDER
LIKE NO ONE ELSE I KNOW.

THANK YOU.

I THINK.

TAKE THIS.

THIS IS THE BEST BOOK
ON WOMEN MURDERERS

I'VE COME ACROSS.

THANKS.
I'LL BRING IT BACK NEXT WEEK.

OH, I DON'T
NEED IT BACK.

IT'S A GIFT.

READING IT WON'T HELP YOU
SOLVE EVERY MYSTERY,

BUT IT MIGHT HELP
WITH ONE OR TWO.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

SALLY.

ISN'T IT
PAST YOUR BEDTIME?

HAVE YOU HEARD
ABOUT JANE ENGLE?

OH, YEAH, I SAW HER TODAY.

SHE SAID IT AGAIN,
"YOU REMIND ME OF ME,"

AND TALKING ABOUT
HOW IT'S NOT SO BAD

TO END UP
A SPINSTER LIBRARIAN...

ROE...

ALL I COULD
THINK ABOUT WAS,

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE
MARRIED ARTHUR,

BUT, NAH,
I WASN'T IN LOVE WITH HIM.

I MEAN, I CAN'T REALLY BLAME HIM
FOR MARRYING LYNN LIGGETT.

ROE!

JANE ENGLE IS DEAD.

SHE WAS SICK A LONG TIME,
WITH THIS HEART THING,

AND SHE JUST
NEVER TOLD ANYONE.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T
KNOW HER VERY WELL,

BUT I LIKED HER.

YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN HER
BETTER THAN I THOUGHT.

NO, FUNERALS JUST
MAKE ME CRY.

[SIGHS] AND YOU WONDER

WHY MACON DOESN'T GIVE YOU
HARD-NEWS ASSIGNMENTS.

OH, HUSH, JUST BECAUSE
YOU NEVER CRY AT ANYTHING.

SPEAKING OF MACON,
HE'S LOOKING OVER HERE NOW...

OH NO, I CAN'T LET
MY EDITOR SEE ME CRY.

WHAT IS HE
DOING HERE ANYWAY?

I THINK HE LIVES
ON JANE'S STREET.

THOSE MUST BE
ALL OF HER NEIGHBORS.

I RECOGNIZE THE McCANNS
FROM THE LIBRARY,

AND MARCIA
AND TORRANCE RIDEOUT.

MY MOM FOUND THEM
THE HOUSE NEXT TO JANE,

BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHO THAT IS.

OH, THAT'S
CAREY REILLY.

YOU KNOW, THATCAREY REILLY.

HER HUSBAND SAID
HE WAS GOING OUT

TO BUY ICE CREAM
FOR THEIR DAUGHTER,

AND NEVER CAME BACK.

HI. SCOTT AUBREY.
JANE'S MINISTER.

IT'S GOOD OF YOU TO COME.

THANK YOU.

I'M SALLY ALLISON.
THIS IS ROE TEAGARDEN.

HI.

TEAGARDEN?
ANY RELATION TO...

AIDA TEAGARDEN
THE REAL ESTATE QUEEN?

YEAH, IT'S MY MOTHER.

I KNOW WE DON'T LOOK MUCH ALIKE.

NO, I MEANT AURORA TEAGARDEN.

THE ONE JANE WANTED
TO SET ME UP WITH.

OH.

[CHUCKLES] OH.

I'M AURORA.

"ROE" FOR SHORT.

BUT I...

I DON'T THINK THIS IS...

OH, NO, NO, NOT NOW.

BUT WHY DON'T WE
ARRANGE A DINNER

FOR LATER THIS WEEK?

SAY FRIDAY?

I SORT OF CONSIDER IT
JANE'S FINAL REQUEST.

OKAY.

[WHISPERING]
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

UH, JANE'S MINISTER
ASKED YOU OUT ON A DATE,

AND YOU SAID YES.

THAT COULD BE
A VERY INTERESTING STORY

TO TELL
YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN,

HOW YOU AND HE MET
AT A FUNERAL.

WELL, HE IS ATTRACTIVE.

HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT
DATING A MINISTER?

WHAT?

OH, COME ON,

YOU KNEW LYNN WAS PREGNANT
WHEN THEY GOT MARRIED.

YEAH, NOT
THAT PREGNANT.

HE MUST HAVE
STARTED SEEING HER,

LIKE, TWO HOURS AFTER
HE BROKE UP WITH ME.

[SIGHING]

I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO
HER TALK ON MADELINE SMITH

NEXT MONTH.

I THINK WE SHOULD STICK TO
MADELINE NEXT MONTH,

IN JANE'S HONOR.

OKAY, THIS IS GONNA
MAKE ME CRY,

AND I CAN'T
LET MACON SEE.

I'M GOING TO GO.

BYE.

BYE.

I'LL SEE YOU TWO
AT THE NEXT MEETING.

BYE. TAKE CARE.

BYE.

MISS TEAGARDEN!

MISS TEAGARDEN,
HOLD UP THERE.

I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.

NOW I DON'T HAVE
TO HUNT YOU DOWN.

I BELIEVE WE MET AT
THE LAST LIBRARY FUNDRAISER.

BUBBA RANKART'S THE NAME.

OH, YEAH, THE ATTORNEY
WHO WON OUR DANCE CONTEST.

GUILTY.

I HAD THE HONOR
OF COUNSELING JANE

JUST BEFORE SHE PASSED.

OH?

YEAH, SHE WANTED TO
DRAW UP A NEW WILL.

SAID SHE NO LONGER WANTED
TO LEAVE HER ESTATE

TO HER COUSIN PARNELL,

THAT HE'D PROBABLY JUST
LEAVE IT TO HIS DOGS.

RATHER...

WELL, SHE DECIDED
SHE'D LEAVE IT TO YOU.

WAIT... WHAT?

JANE NAMED YOU HER BENEFICIARY.

YOU'VE INHERITED
HER ESTATE.

MONEY, HOUSE, JEWELRY.

[GASPING IN SHOCK]

YOU'RE JOKING.

LAWYERS HAVE A RULE,
WE DON'T JOKE ABOUT MONEY.

I...

I MEAN, I JUST...

I ONLY WORKED WITH HER
FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS

BEFORE SHE RETIRED,

AND I SAW HER ONCE A MONTH
AT THE CLUB MEETINGS.

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

WELL, IT DID TO JANE.

SHE WAS PRETTY CERTAIN
THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTED.

OF COURSE, YOU WON'T
GET A CHECK

TILL WE GET
THROUGH PROBATE,

BUT, UH...

WELL, I SEE NO REASON TO WAIT

TO GIVE YOU THE KEYS
TO THE HOUSE.

I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

[GASPS]

JANE LEFT YOU
EVERYTHING?

SO SAYS BUBBA RANKART.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN
CRY AT HER FUNERAL.

I KNOW.
I WISH I HAD.

I REALLY DID LIKE HER.

WELL, SHE MUST HAVE
LIKED YOU A LOT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE A HOUSE.

I MEAN, MY OWN HOUSE.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D OWN A HOUSE,
NOT ON A LIBRARIAN'S SALARY.

ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE IN IT?

I GUESS I COULD.

I DON'T KNOW, IT'S SO STRANGE
TO HAVE THESE CHOICES.

TO BE ABLE TO
DO WHAT I WANT?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I WANT TO GO SEE MY NEW HOUSE.

[NEIGHBORHOOD DOGS BARKING]

[OBJECT CLATTERS UNDERFOOT]

OH!

[GASPING] HEY!

[ARTHUR]: SO, NEITHER
OF YOU HEARD ANYTHING?

I MEAN, THE BACK DOOR
WAS BROKEN INTO,

AND THAT DAMAGED WINDOW
BACK THERE,

IT'S PRETTY CLOSE
TO YOUR HOUSE.

YOU DIDN'T HEAR
ANY GLASS BREAKING?

DIDN'T HEAR A THING.
HOW ABOUT YOU, SUGAR?

NO, BUT I MEAN,

WE DID HAVE OUR MUSIC
PLAYING PRETTY LOUD.

WE WERE HAVING

A HOME-ON-WEDNESDAY
CELEBRATION.

TORRANCE IS ALMOST NEVER
HOME ON A WEDNESDAY.

I WORK FOR AVTECH,

SALES FOR
THE NORTHWEST TERRITORY?

I'M USUALLY IN IDAHO
ON WEDNESDAYS.

I DIDN'T GO TODAY,

I WANTED TO PAY
MY RESPECTS TO JANE.

BUT I HEARD FOOTSTEPS
GOING IN YOUR DIRECTION.

YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING
OUT YOUR WINDOW?

WELL, HONEY,
WHEN WE CELEBRATE,

WE LIKE TO KEEP
THE CURTAINS CLOSED.

OKAY, THEN.

UH, ANYWAYS,

IT DOESN'T APPEAR LIKE
ANYTHING WAS MISSING.

JUST LIKE A YEAR AGO.

GOOD THING WE PUT IN
AN ALARM SYSTEM.

WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED
A YEAR AGO?

OH, I'LL FILL HER IN.

YOU FOLKS GO ON BACK TO BED.

I APPRECIATE THE HELP.

OKAY, WELL,
GOOD LUCK.

I MEAN, HOPEFULLY
YOU'LL CATCH HIM THIS TIME.

AND I'M SO SORRY YOU HAD
SUCH A POOR WELCOME

TO OUR LITTLE
NEIGHBORHOOD.

SO, WHAT HAPPENED
A YEAR AGO?

UM, UH, A YEAR AGO,

THERE WAS A SERIES
OF BREAK-INS ON THIS STREET.

FOUR HOUSES,

ALL HAD BROKEN WINDOWS,
PLACE WAS RANSACKED,

BUT NOTHING WAS EVER TAKEN.

I NEVER SOLVED IT,

AND IT LOOKS LIKE
IT'S STARTED UP AGAIN.

SOMEONE IS LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING.

OR, SOMEONE JUST LIKES TO
MESS UP PEOPLE'S PROPERTY.

NO, SOMEONE'S DEFINITELY
SEARCHING THIS PLACE,

AND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
NOT SMALL.

DO YOU NOTICE HOW
ONLY THE BIGGEST CABINETS

AND DRAWERS
HAVE BEEN OPENED?

THEY DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER
WITH THE SMALL ONES, LOOK.

I BET IT'S THAT WAY
IN THE KITCHEN, TOO.

[SIGHS]

OH, BOY...

BIGGER THAN A BREADBOX...

ALL RIGHT,
TIME TO GO.

I NEED TO GET BACK
TO THE STATION

AND FILE THIS REPORT.

YEAH, YOU GO AHEAD.

I'M GOING TO SEE
IF I CAN FIND

WHAT THE SOMEONE
WAS LOOKING FOR.

I AM NOT LEAVING YOU
HERE ALONE, ROE.

THE PERP COULD DECIDE
TO COME BACK

AND FINISH
HIS SEARCH.

YEAH, WHICH IS WHY
I NEED TO FIND IT FIRST.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU CAN LOOK FOR THIS
MYSTERY ITEM TOMORROW.

RIGHT NOW
YOU ARE GOING HOME.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
THIS PUSHY SIDE OF YOU.

REALLY? WELL, LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I HAVE SEEN THIS TOO-CURIOUS-
FOR-HER-OWN-GOOD SIDE OF YOU,

AND I WANT YOUR WORD

YOU WILL NOT COME BACK
UNTIL DAYLIGHT.

FINE.

GOOD.

GO AHEAD
AND TELL ME, THEN.

TELL YOU WHAT?

YOU AND LYNN
BOUGHT THE HOUSE

ACROSS THE STREET

WITH THE "SOLD" STICKER
ON IT, DIDN'T YOU?

WE MOVE IN SATURDAY.

I GUESS THAT
MAKES US NEIGHBORS.

GREAT.

YUP, THAT'S HAPPENING.

ANYWAY, BE SAFE.

ALWAYS.

[SIGHS]

LIFE DOES HAVE
A SENSE OF HUMOR.

YOU MEAN BECAUSE
YOU INHERITED A HOUSE

JUST DAYS BEFORE

YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND
AND HIS PREGNANT WIFE

MOVE IN ACROSS THE STREET?

OR BECAUSE YOU INHERIT A HOUSE
WHILE IT'S BEING RANSACKED

BY A WINDOW-BREAKING STRANGER?

BOTH.

I JUST WISH I KNEW

WHAT MR. SHADOWY STRANGER
WAS LOOKING FOR.

I'VE BEEN HERE
SINCE MY SHIFT ENDED.

HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE
TO FIND A THING.

[SIGHING HEAVILY]

IT'S QUITE THE MYSTERY.

...RIGHT HERE.

PUZZLING OUT THE MOST STUBBORN
OF MURDER MYSTERIES...

SALLY, SORRY, I GOTTA GO.

BYE.

[GASPS]

WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?

WHO ARE YOU?

YOU WITH THE MISSING PIECE
IN YOUR HEAD...

HMM.

BLUNT-FORCE TRAUMA.

SOMEONE MUST HAVE
HIT YOU VERY HARD

TO CAUSE THAT DAMAGE.

MURDER?

DID JANE KILL YOU?

JANE A KILLER?

SHE MUST HAVE HAD
A GOOD REASON.

MAYBE YOU WERE
TRYING TO HURT HER.

I OWE IT TO HER TO FIND OUT.

OKAY, ONE THING'S FOR SURE,

I HAVE GOT TO
GET YOU OUT OF HERE

BEFORE WHOEVER
IS LOOKING FOR YOU

COMES BACK.

♪ ♪

OH, HI, ROE.

BOB!

OH, I FORGOT YOU GUYS
WERE CLEANING CARPETS TODAY.

OKAY, IT'S FINE.

JUST DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO,
I'M GONNA...

NEVER MIND.

ROE, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

YEAH, IT'S FINE.

AURORA!

AURORA,
ARE YOU HERE?

MOM, YOU'RE HOME.

WELL, THIS IS
A NICE SURPRISE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

UM... JANE ENGLE...

YOU KNOW SHE DIED.

YEAH.

MOM, SHE LEFT ME HER ESTATE.

HER HOUSE,
HER MONEY, EVERYTHING.

JANE ENGLE?

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

THE TWO OF YOU
WERE THAT CLOSE.

WE WEREN'T.
I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE PICKED ME,

BUT I DON'T...
I'M NOT EVEN SURE

I'M GONNA KEEP THE MONEY,
THOUGH.

WHO KNOWS WHERE SHE GOT IT?

WELL, SHE INHERITED IT
FROM HER MOTHER.

OH, WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF.

OKAY, I HAVE TO GO.

SALLY'S COMING OVER AFTER WORK.

NO, WAIT A MINUTE!

I'LL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING LATER.

AND THAT'S
WHERE IT IS NOW.

IN MY MOM'S CLOSET.

A SKULL?

YOU FOUND A HUMAN SKULL

IN JANE'S WINDOW SEAT,

AND YOU HID IT?

WELL, SO I CAN FIGURE OUT
WHY SHE WAS HIDING IT.

YOU KNOW, WHAT IF SHE WAS
THE ONE THAT KILLED... IT?

SHE MUST HAVE HAD
A GOOD REASON.

WHO CARES?

YOU DON'T PLAY FINDER'S KEEPERS
WITH A SKULL, ROE,

YOU GIVE IT TO THE POLICE.

MAYBE, MAYBE NOT...

I MEAN, SAY JANE HAD
A LEGITIMATE REASON

FOR WHACKING SOMEONE
IN THE HEAD.

I WOULD HATE TO
DRAG HER GOOD NAME

THROUGH THE MUD.

I MEAN, WE KNOW
SHE'S A GOOD PERSON.

NO. NO,
ALL WE REALLY KNOW

IS THAT SHE WAS
OBSESSED WITH WOMEN

WHO GOT AWAY WITH MURDER.

I MEAN, LOOK, ISN'T THIS
THE BOOK THAT SHE GAVE YOU?

SO NOW YOU'RE GOING
TO HELP JANE

GET AWAY WITH MURDER?

COME ON.

OH, THIS LOOKS LIKE
JANE'S HANDWRITING.

YEAH, IT HAS
MY NAME ON IT.

WELL, WHAT DOES IT SAY?

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

"I DIDN'T DO IT,

BUT I THINK SOMEONE
CLOSE BY DID."

OH, WELL, GREAT.

GOOD TO KNOW
THAT JANE ISN'T A KILLER.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF IT?

IT MEANS JANE HAS PASSED ON
A MURDER MYSTERY

FOR ME TO SOLVE.

THAT'S WHY
SHE LEFT ME HER HOUSE.

I MEAN, SHE FOUND THAT SKULL,

SHE TRIED TO SOLVE THE MURDER,
AND SHE COULDN'T.

AND NOW

SHE LEFT
THE MYSTERY TO ME.

I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT
IF JANE WAS RIGHT.

I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT

IF THERE IS
A MURDERER CLOSE BY.

DON'T YOU SEE?

THIS WAS JANE'S DYING WISH.

I HAVE TO DO THIS.

NO, YOU DON'T.

THIS IS CRAZY
AND IT'S DANGEROUS.

IT'S NOT
THAT DANGEROUS.

THE MURDERER DOESN'T EVEN KNOW
THAT I FOUND THAT SKULL.

REALLY? ARE YOU
SURE ABOUT THAT?

YOU'RE NOT
THINKING STRAIGHT, ROE.

IF THERE'S A KILLER
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

IT'S UP TO THE POLICE
TO FIND HIM.

AND IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM
WHAT YOU FOUND, I WILL.

JUST GIVE ME A WEEK.

ONE WEEK,

AND THEN
YOU CAN GO TO THE POLICE.

I MEAN...

AND I WILL GIVE YOU
THE EXCLUSIVE

FOR THE PAPER.

YOU'RE ALWAYS
ASKING MACON

TO GIVE YOU A SHOT
AT THE HARD NEWS STUFF

AND NOT THE FLUFFY STUFF.

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
ROE, WHY?

I DON'T KNOW.

JANE SAID I HAD
A MIND FOR MURDER.

I MEAN, IF SHE'S
GIVING ME A CHANCE

TO FIGURE OUT IF THAT'S TRUE,

I HAVE TO AT LEAST TRY.

OH, COME ON,

I MEAN, WHO KNOWS HOW LONG THAT
SKULL HAS BEEN SITTING THERE?

MONTHS, MAYBE YEARS.

WHAT'S ANOTHER WEEK
GOING TO DO?

FINE.

YOU HAVE ONE WEEK.

BUT THAT IS ALL.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.

OR I'M THE WORST.

ONE OR THE OTHER.

UH, HI.
THIS IS AURORA TEAGARDEN,

I'M CALLING FOR MR. CROWLEY.

I, UH, I WON'T BE ABLE
TO COME INTO WORK TOMORROW,

I'M... I'M...

[COUGHING DRAMATICALLY]

A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER.

I MEAN, I'M NOT...

IT'S JUST A LITTLE.

I-I JUST WON'T BE THERE.

[SIGHING]

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

[SHUTTER CLICKING]

ALRIGHT, DO YOU HAVE
EVERYTHING YOU NEED?

YUP.

GREAT.

CAN I HELP YOU
WITH SOMETHING?

OH. NO.

I'M JUST EXPLORING
MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD.

OH, YOU MUST BE THE ONE
THAT GOT JANE'S HOUSE.

YEAH, THAT'S ME.
ROE TEAGARDEN.

WELL, HELLO, NEIGHBOR.

THAT'S EMMA.
I'M CAREY.

CAREY REILLY.

YOU HAVE HEARD OF US.

THE POOR REILLY GIRLS,
FAMOUS FOR BEING ABANDONED.

NO, I...

WELL, YES, I HAVE HEARD
OF YOU, BUT I...

I WISH I COULD INVITE YOU
IN FOR COFFEE,

BUT I HAVE TO TAKE
EMMA OFF TO SCHOOL

AND MYSELF TO THE SHOP.

I WORK AT THE LITTLE
FASHION BOUTIQUE ON ELM STREET.

YOU SHOULD COME BY SOMETIME.

REALLY.

YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT.

OH, CAN YOU JUST TELL ME,

WHO LIVES IN THAT HOUSE
AT THE END OF THE STREET?

OH, THAT'S MACON'S HOUSE.

MACON TURNER.

ALRIGHT, COME ON,
EMMA, LET'S GO!

NICE TO MEET YOU.

WHATCHA GOT?

NO. NO.

I AM NOT ABOUT TO START
SPYING ON MY BOSS.

I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO SPY.

I JUST WANT SOME BASIC
INFORMATION ON HIM,

LIKE, AGE, MARITAL STATUS.

I DON'T KNOW HIS AGE,

IT'S NOT POLITE TO ASK.

HE'S DIVORCED,

AND I DON'T WANT TO BE HAVING
THIS CONVERSATION.

WAS HIS WIFE NAMED LINDA?

I KNOW A LINDA TURNER
FROM THE LIBRARY.

SHE HAD A SON... IAN.

BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM
IN A WHILE.

WELL, MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE

IAN TOOK A GRADUATION TRIP
TO INDIA

AND DISAPPEARED.

MACON HIRED
A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR

TO TRY AND FIND HIM.

OH, HOW AWFUL.

I REMEMBER IAN,
HE LIKED GRAPHIC NOVELS.

BUT IF HE'S MISSING,

THEN HE'S A POSSIBILITY FOR
THE IDENTITY OF THAT SKULL.

RIGHT AFTER

CAREY REILLY'S MISSING HUSBAND.

WAIT A MINUTE,
WHY IS IAN A POSSIBILITY?

HE DISAPPEARED IN INDIA.

YEAH, BUT MACON COULD JUST BE
SAYING HE DISAPPEARED THERE.

[GASPING]

IF YOU ARE EVEN

ENTERTAINING THE IDEA

THAT THE VERY NICE MAN
WHO IS MY EDITOR

COULD HAVE KILLED HIS OWN SON,

THE ONLY PROPER THING TO DO
IS TO HANG UP ON YOU.

[MUSIC PLAYING OUTSIDE]

[MUSIC BLASTING]

MARCIA!

[GASPS]

SORRY!

I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SCARE YOU.

I JUST WANTED
TO SAY HELLO.

NO, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

I SCARE EASILY
WHEN TORRANCE IS OUT OF TOWN.

I MEAN, MUSIC
KEEPS ME COMPANY, BUT...

OH, MY GOSH, IT'S SO NICE
TO HAVE A REAL LIVE PERSON

TO TALK TO.

HAVE A SEAT.

THANK YOU.

I'D LIKE THAT.

SO HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I MEAN, YOU AND JANE,

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN
THE BEST OF FRIENDS.

I MEAN, WITH HER
GIVING YOU HER HOUSE AND ALL.

YEAH, WE WERE, UM...

FRIENDS.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WERE YOU TWO CLOSE?

I MEAN,
I'D LIKE TO THINK SO, YEAH.

SHE WAS ALWAYS SO SWEET TO ME,

I MEAN, EVEN IF
SHE DID HAVE ODD WAYS.

ODD?

LIKE WHAT?

OH, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT,
THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WORD.

BUT THAT'S WHAT
TORRANCE ALWAYS THOUGHT

ABOUT THE WAY SHE JUST SAT
IN THE BACKYARD,

FOR HOURS AT A TIME.

JUST SITTING ON THAT
LITTLE CHAIR OVER THERE.

NOT READING,

NOT DOING ANYTHING,

JUST LOOKING AT STUFF, YOU KNOW?

WATCHING.

I MEAN, OF COURSE,

TORRANCE ALWAYS THOUGHT
THAT SHE WAS WATCHING HIM,

BUT I MEAN, THAT'S JUST SILLY.

[LAUGHS]

IT DID MAKE HIM
A LITTLE UPTIGHT,

BUT, WELL, HE JUST...

HE JUST DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE
IN HIS BUSINESS, YOU KNOW?

DO YOU RENT THAT APARTMENT
OVER YOUR GARAGE?

NOT ANYMORE, NO.

I MEAN, WE USED TO ALWAYS
HAVE A TENANT UP THERE,

BUT TORRANCE
WON'T HEAR OF IT NOW, SO...

ALTHOUGH, YOU KNOW,

THE LAST TENANT DID
DUCK OUT ON HIS RENT.

HE JUST DISAPPEARED,

LEFT ALL
HIS STUFF BEHIND.

OH?

[CHUCKLES IN WONDER]

OH, WHAT WAS HIS NAME?

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

ROE TEAGARDEN?

SCOTT AUBREY.

I'M HERE AT YOUR HOUSE
TO PICK YOU UP FOR DINNER,

BUT YOU'RE NOT HERE.

SCOTT, OH, MY GOSH,
I'M SO SORRY.

I JUST,
I LOST TRACK OF TIME.

WELL, YOU KNOW, IF TONIGHT'S
NOT A GOOD NIGHT...

NO, NO, NO, IT IS, IT IS.

UM, WHY DON'T I JUST MEET YOU
AT THE RESTAURANT,

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT.

SOUNDS GOOD.

YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

OKAY. YEAH.
I'M SO SORRY.

[KNOCKING]

HI, ROE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

DID YOU TELL ANYONE
ABOUT ME FINDING THE SKULL?

NO.

NOT EVEN MACON?

NO, I DEFINITELY
DID NOT TELL MACON.

WHY ARE YOU ASKING?

OH, I GOTTA GO,

I'M LATE FOR MY DATE.

REMEMBER, YOU ONLY
HAVE FIVE DAYS LEFT!

FIVE AND A HALF!

YOU LOOK...

DIFFERENT
IN REGULAR CLOTHES.

WELL, I HOPE
THAT'S A GOOD THING.

OH, IT'S DEFINITELY GOOD.

YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD.

I'M SORRY,

I WANTED TO CHANGE INTO
SOMETHING NICER, BUT I JUST...

[DISH SMASHES]

ARE YOU ALRIGHT?

YOU SEEM A BIT JUMPY
SINCE YOU GOT HERE.

YEAH, I MIGHT BE
A LITTLE JUMPY.

I HOPE I DON'T
MAKE YOU NERVOUS.

YOU DON'T.

I MEAN, YOU DO,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE A MINISTER.

AND THAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT
THAN OTHER GUYS?

HOW?

I GUESS IT DOESN'T
MAKE YOU DIFFERENT.

BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE

I HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT.

YOU KNOW, WELL-BEHAVED.

YOU'RE NOT USUALLY
WELL-BEHAVED?

USUALLY, YES,

BUT I'M... [CORK POPS]

TENSE.

NOT TENSE.

IT'S...

I'M TRYING TO RISE
TO A CHALLENGE

THAT I SET FOR MYSELF.

I'M WONDERING IF I BIT OFF
MORE THAN I CAN CHEW.

TELL ME MORE.

THAT'S HOW YOU'RE DIFFERENT.

YOU ARE AMAZINGLY
EASY TO TALK TO.

WELL, YEAH, WE DO TAKE
A LOT OF LISTENING COURSES

IN MINISTER SCHOOL.

[TROLLEY CRASHES]

THE QUESTION IS,

CAN I RISE TO THE CHALLENGE
I'VE SET FOR MYSELF.

HMM? WHAT CHALLENGE?

THE CHALLENGE OF DATING
THE DISTRACTED AURORA TEAGARDEN.

OH.

[LAUGHING]
...SOMETIMES.

THANK YOU.

I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME.

YOU ACT SURPRISED.

I AM.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT IT WAS LIKE

TO DATE A... YOU.

YOU THOUGHT I'D BE DULL.

YOU ARE
ANYTHING BUT DULL.

BUT WHAT I REALLY
WANT TO KNOW IS...

WHETHER A MINISTER KISSES
THE LADY GOOD NIGHT?

[GASPING] AURORA!

[CHUCKLING]

WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU...

FATHER AUBREY...

WELL, ISN'T THIS
A NICE SURPRISE.

MRS. TEAGARDEN.

IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE.

MR. RANKART.

I DIDN'T REALIZE

YOU AND MY MOTHER
WERE ACQUAINTED.

OH, OF COURSE,
WE ARE.

I JUST LISTED HIS HOUSE.

ALTHOUGH WHY HE WANTS TO MOVE
TO A BIG AND DIRTY CITY

IS BEYOND ME.

WELL, A MAN NEEDS
A NEW MOUNTAIN TO CONQUER

EVERY NOW AND THEN.

I'LL GRAB US A TABLE.

AURORA, I SHOULD SCOLD YOU
FOR NOT TELLING ME

THAT YOU AND FATHER AUBREY
WERE AN ITEM.

IT'S OUR FIRST DATE, MOTHER.

WHY DON'T WE MAKE OUR
SECOND DATE ON SUNDAY?

I'D LIKE TO INVITE YOU OUT
TO THE 10:00 A.M. SERVICE

WITH MY CONGREGATION,

AND YOU CAN HEAR WHAT
A SCINTILLATING SERMON I GIVE.

- I'D LOVE TO.
- YEAH?

AND YOU'RE INVITED,
TOO, OF COURSE.

OH, THAT'D BE LOVELY,
I'D LOVE TO COME.

AS LONG AS YOU PROMISE NOT TO
TATTLE ON ME TO MY MINISTER.

OH, SCOUT'S HONOR.

WE'LL SEE YOU SUNDAY.

BYE.

OOH, THIS IS WONDERFUL.

YOU AND FATHER AUBREY.

DO YOU KNOW
HOW THRILLED I'D BE

IF YOU WERE A MINISTER'S WIFE?

BUT IS THIS WHAT YOU WORE
ON A DATE?

MARK KAPLAN...

THERE YOU ARE, YOU RENT-SKIPPER.

ALIVE AND WELL IN PHILADELPHIA.

[TYPING]

HELLO, LILLIAN.

SO YOU CALL IN SICK

ON THE DAY
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME IN,

AND HERE YOU ARE
ON YOUR DAY OFF?

JUST DOING SOME RESEARCH.

YOU'RE LUCKY
MR. CROWLEY ISN'T HERE

TO SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT
THE SLIGHTEST BIT SICK.

YOU'RE RIGHT,
I'M FEELING BETTER.

YOU CAN TELL MR. CROWLEY

THAT I'LL BE IN ON MONDAY
FOR MY SHIFT.

I'LL ALSO TELL HIM

YOU'RE USING THE COLOR PRINTER
FOR A PERSONAL PROJECT.

THAT'S WHY I LEFT
THE $2.00 ON THE COUNTER.

I'M SURE IT'LL WILL COVER IT.

RIGHT THROUGH THERE, GUYS.

HI.

HEY.

SO, UH, TODAY'S
THE BIG DAY, HUH?

YEAH.

LISTEN, I JUST
WANTED YOU TO KNOW

THAT I HAVEN'T DROPPED THE BALL
ON YOUR BREAK-IN.

OH, I WOULDN'T THINK THAT.

NOT THAT THERE'S
MUCH I CAN DO,

WITH NO WITNESSES
OR FINGERPRINTS LEFT BEHIND.

BUT I DID COMPARE
YOUR BREAK-IN

TO THE REPORTS ON THE OTHERS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

SAME EXACT PATTERN,

RIGHT DOWN TO ONLY
THE LARGE CABINETS

AND DRAWERS
BEING LEFT OPEN.

[LYNN]: ARTHUR, HONEY!

HAVE YOU SEEN THAT BOX
WITH THE LAMP IN IT

THAT GOES...

HELLO, LYNN.

ROE.

[CLEARING THROAT]

ARTHUR TOLD ME THAT
WE MIGHT BE RUNNING INTO YOU.

I GUESS THERE'S
NO "MIGHT" ABOUT IT.

YOO-HOO!

MORE NEW NEIGHBORS!

I'M THE OFFICIAL
WELCOMING COMMITTEE.

[LAUGHS]

TORRANCE
IS GOING TO BE SO HAPPY

HAVING NOT ONE,
BUT TWO POLICE DETECTIVES

LIVING ON
OUR LITTLE STREET.

HE ALWAYS
WORRIES ABOUT ME

WHEN I'M HOME ALONE,

BUT, YOU KNOW,
I ALWAYS TELL HIM,

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A WOMAN,

AM I RIGHT,
LADIES?

RIGHT.

YUP.

WELL, WE'RE VERY HAPPY
TO BE HERE.

AW, WELL,
YOU SHOULD KNOW,

WE CONSIDER EVERYBODY
IN OUR LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD

OUR FRIENDS.

IN FACT, I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT ME AND TORRANCE SHOULD DO.

HAVE A BARBECUE
TO WELCOME YOU ALL.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

CAN'T WAIT.

SUPER-FUN.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING]

THOUGHT
I'D FIND YOU HERE.

OH, LOOKS LIKE
CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS

OF "TEAGARDEN INVESTIGATIONS."

OH, ROE...

I WORRY ABOUT YOU BEING HERE
DAY AND NIGHT.

OH, I DON'T STAY HERE
AT NIGHT, BELIEVE ME.

OH, YOU HAVE
DIRT ON YOUR TABLE.

PROBABLY
FELL OFF THE SKULL.

OH, YOU PUT IT ON THERE?

ROE! EW!

AND THAT'S WHERE I FOUND IT.

[SHUDDERING]

YEAH, LOOK,
THERE'S DIRT IN HERE, TOO.

EITHER JANE
DUG IT UP HERSELF,

OR FOUND IT FRESHLY DUG UP.

ALL THE BREAK-INS AROUND HERE?

SOMEBODY KNOWS A BODY
IS MISSING ITS SKULL,

AND HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR IT.

BUT HOW WOULD THEY KNOW
IT'S MISSING

UNLESS THEY'VE CHECKED
WHERE THE BODY WAS BURIED?

THE BLANCHARD CASE.

REMEMBER?

KANSAS. 1957.

THE KILLER KEPT
DIGGING UP THE BODY

AND MOVING IT,

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO
KEEP AN EYE ON IT.

SOMEBODY'S BEEN
KEEPING AN EYE ON THE BODY

THAT BELONGS TO THAT SKULL.

HE'S DUG IT UP,

AT LEAST ONCE.

YOU'RE MAKING
THE HAIR ON THE BACK OF MY NECK

STAND UP SO HARD, IT HURTS.

GOOGLE EARTH?

WHAT?

OKAY, THIS IMAGE
WAS TAKEN OF THE STREET

JUST THREE MONTHS AGO,

BUT GOOGLE EARTH LETS YOU
PULL UP HISTORICAL IMAGES.

NOW, THIS ONE WAS TAKEN
FROM TWO YEARS AGO.

WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

OH...

LOOK, SEE HOW THIS BUSHY AREA
LOOKS DIFFERENT

THAN IT DID TWO YEARS AGO?

IT WAS BARE HERE,
AND NOW IT'S GROWN-IN.

MEANING?

IT'S THE PERFECT SPOT
TO BURY A BODY.

DOWN THERE

WHERE THE TWO FENCES
COME TOGETHER.

RIGHT THERE.

OH!

YOU ARE NOT ABOUT TO GO
START DIGGING FOR A DEAD BODY?

NO.

I'M GOING TO WAIT
UNTIL IT GETS DARK.

[SIGHING]

WE'LL NEED FLASHLIGHTS.

[SHOVELS DIGGING]

HEY, YOU'VE GOT TO HOLD
THAT LIGHT STILL!

ROE, THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

WELL, YOU CAN
GO BACK.

JUST LEAVE
THE FLASHLIGHT

ON THE GROU...

WHAT WAS THAT?

♪ ♪

THAT'S MACON.

♪ ♪

MACON IS SEEING
CAREY REILLY?

♪ ♪

OH! HEY...

SALLY!

I NEED SOME LIGHT.

[GASPS]

I THINK WE JUST FOUND

THE SKELETON
THAT GOES WITH THAT SKULL.

FINALLY, THE POLICE
ARE INVOLVED.

YEAH, BECAUSE
YOU CALLED THEM

WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING.

WELL, I WASN'T GOING
TO LET YOU TRY AND HIDE

AN ENTIRE SKELETON
IN YOUR MOTHER'S CLOSET.

OH, NO.

THAT'S CAPTAIN JACK BURNS.
HE'S THE POLICE CAPTAIN.

ANGRIEST MAN

YOU'LL EVER MEET.

YOU.

DIDN'T YOU USED TO DATE...?

DETECTIVE SMITH, YES,

BUT THAT'S
ANCIENT HISTORY.

MISS TEAGARDEN
AND MISS ALLISON

SAID THAT THEY WENT
FOR AN EVENING STROLL,

FOUND A STRAY CAT...

WELL, WE THOUGHT
IT WAS A CAT.

FOLLOWED IT
INTO THE BRUSHES...

YEAH, AND THEN
I TRIPPED,

THEN THERE IT WAS,

IT WAS A BONE STICKING
OUT OF THE GROUND.

I TOLD THEM
TO COME DOWN

TO THE STATION
ON MONDAY,

TO GIVE
THEIR REPORTS.

[SCOFFS]

EXCUSE ME, LADIES.

DOES THAT MEAN
WE'RE FREE TO GO?

UH, YEAH. GO AHEAD.

YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S STRANGE

THAT EVERYONE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

IS OUT HERE AND CURIOUS,

EXCEPT FOR THE McCANNS?

THE McCANNS ARE OUT OF TOWN.

SEE?

NOT SO STRANGE.

NOW, I'M GONNA TALK
TO MACON AND SEE IF

HE'LL LET ME WRITE THIS
UP FOR THE PAPER.

OKAY, WHAT
ABOUT THE FACT

THAT THERE ARE NO CLOTHES
ON THAT SKELETON?

DO YOU THINK THAT
THE KILLER TOOK THEM?

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKELY

THAT THEY'D DECOMPOSE
THAT QUICKLY.

THERE WAS NO WEDDING
RING ON THE FINGER.

ROE, JUST...
STOP, ALRIGHT?

LISTEN, I...

I UNDERSTAND
THE TEMPTATION

TO START ANALYZING
THE NEIGHBORS,

AND LOOKING FOR CLUES,

BUT THIS IS NOT A CASE
FROM "THE REAL MURDERS CLUB."

YOU NEED TO LET LYNN
AND THE HOMICIDE DIVISION

HANDLE THIS.

WAIT. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE
A PART OF THIS INVESTIGATION?

NO. I'M WITH
THE BURGLARY DIVISION.

YEAH, BUT DON'T YOU THINK

THOSE BURGLARIES AND THAT BODY
COULD BE CONNECTED?

WELL, IF IT IS,
LYNN'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

SHE'S VERY GOOD
AT HER JOB,

SO PLEASE DO HER
AND ME A FAVOR

AND LET IT GO.

♪ ♪

OH, SWEET BED...
OH, HERE I COME.

MM... [SIGHS]

HUNGRY.

FOOD... FIRST.

OH... SHOWER FIRST.

GOTTA SHOWER.

[KNOCKING]

♪ ♪

LET'S GO!

OH, PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT
WEARING THAT DIRT TO CHURCH.

WELL, TODAY,

WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT
REFRIGERATOR THEOLOGY.

WHAT IS "REFRIGERATOR THEOLOGY,"
YOU ASK?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT IF YOU LOOK
ON MY REFRIGERATOR,

YOU'D SEE A DOZEN OR SO MAGNETS,

WITH A LOT OF SAYINGS
THAT SPEAK TO ME.

ONE SAYS
"BEAUTY IS GOD'S HANDWRITING."

NOW, THAT WAS FROM EMERSON,

WHO I CONSIDER THE GREATEST
PREACHER WHO EVER LIVED,

EVEN IF HE WAS UNITARIAN.

[CONGREGATION LAUGHS]

BUT ONTO MORE FUN STUFF.
LET'S TALK ABOUT OUR PARENTS.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

YOU LOOK GREAT.
FEELING MUCH BETTER?

THAT'S GOOD.
YOU LOOK BETTER.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
THANK YOU.

THANKS FOR COMING.
CHEERS.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

HAVE A REALLY, REALLY GOOD WEEK.

OH, YOUR HAIR,
AURORA.

IT HAS
A MIND OF ITS OWN.

IS THAT WHY EVERYONE'S
STARING AT ME?

[LAUGHS] MORE LIKELY

THEY KNOW YOU'RE DATING
THEIR MINISTER.

OR IT COULD BE
THAT OTHER THING.

HELLO, ROE.

WORD'S BEEN SPREADING

YOU FOUND A DEAD BODY
LAST NIGHT.

GHASTLY, ISN'T IT?

WELL, DEPENDS ON
HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

HOW ELSE
WOULD ONE LOOK AT IT?

MOTHER, THIS IS
JOHN QUEENSLAND,

THE PRESIDENT OF
THE REAL MURDERS CLUB.

OHH... AND YOU SEEMED LIKE
SUCH AN UPSTANDING CITIZEN.

MY TITLE DOESN'T IMPRESS YOU?

YOUR TITLE IS FINE,

YOUR JURISDICTION
IS THE GUTTER.

IS THIS YOUR WAY OF FLIRTING
WITH ME, MRS. TEAGARDEN?

[SCOFFS]

SO GLAD
YOU COULD MAKE IT.

THANK YOU.

YOUR SERMON
WAS WONDERFUL.

YES, POSITIVELY
INSPIRING.

OH! WELL, GOOD.

MAYBE YOU'LL LET ME TAKE
THE TWO OF YOU TO SUNDAY LUNCH.

OH, THAT'S
SO GENEROUS OF YOU.

YES, WE'D
LOVE TO GO.

IF I INVITE MYSELF ALONG,

WILL YOU TAKE THE HINT
THAT I'M FLIRTING WITH YOU?

MOST MEN DON'T DARE.

OKAY.

THANK YOU FOR THE INVITATION,

BUT I'VE BEEN UP
ALL NIGHT LONG...

SHE DISCOVERED
A DEAD BODY.

AND I DON'T THINK
I'LL BE GOOD COMPANY TODAY.

CAN WE HAVE DINNER
TOMORROW NIGHT?

UH, SURE.
YEAH, NO PROBLEM.

THANK YOU. REALLY.

OKAY, MOTHER,
LET'S GO.

OKAY, WELL, HOW DISAPPOINTING,
BUT WE'LL HAVE TO TRY AGAIN!

- BYE.
- OKAY.

BYE!

DID YOU SAY "DEAD BODY"?

I DON'T THINK
MR. CROWLEY WILL BE PLEASED

TO SEE ONE OF HIS OWN ON
THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEWSPAPER.

STUMBLING
OVER HUMAN REMAINS...

IT'S UNSEEMLY.

AND UNSANITARY!

I HOPE YOU MADE GOOD USE
OF DISINFECTANT.

IS THAT LINDA TURNER,
MACON'S EX?

I DON'T KNOW.

EXCUSE ME, LINDA?

I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU REMEMBER ME,

BUT YOU USED TO COME IN
HERE WITH YOUR SON.

IAN, MY BOOKWORM.

YEAH!

HE USED TO COME IN HERE
ALL THE TIME

WHEN HE WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

HOW IS HE?
I HEARD HE WENT TO INDIA.

YES! IT SEEMED LIKE
HE WAS THERE FOREVER.

HALF THE TIME, WE COULDN'T EVEN
GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM.

I WAS SO RELIEVED
WHEN HE GOT BACK.

HE MADE IT BACK, THEN?

YES, LAST MONTH.

WITH A BRITISH FIANCEE,
NO LESS.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ ♪

SOME REPORTER
YOU ARE.

YOU GAVE ME BAD INFORMATION.

MACON'S SON IS NOT MISSING.

HE'S BACK, ALIVE AND WELL.
HE'S GETTING MARRIED.

OKAY, SO I'M TERRIBLE AT
KEEPING UP WITH OFFICE GOSSIP.

I'M NOT MAISIE.

SHE RUNS
CLASSIFIEDS.

KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT EVERYONE HERE.

OKAY, WELL, THIS MEANS

THERE IS ONLY
ONE POSSIBILITY LEFT

FOR THE IDENTITY OF THAT SKULL.

IT'S CAREY REILLY'S
HUSBAND, BRAD.

WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING

IT'S IN THE HANDS
OF THE POLICE NOW, ISN'T IT?

UGH! AREN'T YOU JUST BURNING
WITH CURIOSITY

TO FIND OUT WHO
IT WAS WE FOUND?

MORE LIKE LUKEWARM
WITH CURIOSITY.

BESIDES, IF YOU REALLY
WANTED TO KNOW

WHO THAT POOR SOUL IS,

YOU WOULD GIVE THE SKULL
TO THE POLICE

AND LET THEM MATCH IT
TO DENTAL RECORDS,

OR WHATEVER IT IS
THAT THEY DO.

PLEASE TELL ME
THAT YOU ARE NOT

ABOUT TO HUNT DOWN
BRAD REILLY'S DENTIST.

NO. DON'T BE SILLY.

I'M GOING DRESS SHOPPING.

OKAY.

DID YOU KNOW THE DRESS SHOP
WHERE CAREY REILLY WORKS

IS PRACTICALLY
ACROSS THE STREET?

[SIGHING]

I CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE THIS ON YOU.

THE COLOR IS PERFECT
FOR YOUR SKIN TONE.

OH, I WOULD NEVER HAVE PICKED
THAT OUT FOR MYSELF.

IT'LL BE JUST
DARLING, YOU'LL SEE.

WISH I HAD
MORE FASHION SENSE.

YOU WERE PROBABLY
ONE OF THOSE BRIDES

THAT HAD
THE PERFECT WEDDING DRESS.

OH, NO, BRAD AND I ELOPED.

ONE OF THOSE
QUICKIE COURTHOUSE DEALS.

I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE
A BIG WEDDING WAS RIGHT,

NOT WHEN BUBBA AND I
HAD JUST BARELY BROKEN UP.

BUBBA? YOU AND BUBBA RANKART
ONCE DATED?

MORE THAN DATED.

WE WERE ENGAGED FOR TWO YEARS.

BUT HE WAS IN LAW SCHOOL THEN,

AND BARELY EVER HAD
TIME FOR ME, SO.

A GIRL DOES GET TIRED
OF WAITING.

I LIKED THAT BRAD WAS IN
SUCH A RACE TO THE ALTAR.

OF COURSE, I HAD NO IDEA

HE'D BE RACING AWAY FROM ME
JUST AS QUICK.

BUT YOU STILL WEAR
YOUR WEDDING RING?

OH, HABIT, I GUESS.

DID YOU AND BRAD
HAVE MATCHING BANDS?

OH, NO,
HE NEVER WORE ONE.

HE SAID
HE DIDN'T LIKE JEWELRY.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN.

DID YOU EVER WONDER...
I MEAN...

WHEN WE FOUND THAT BODY
AT THE END OF THE STREET,

DID YOU EVER WONDER
IF THAT COULD BE...?

COULD BE WHO? BRAD?

OH, NO!

NO. HE LEFT
ON PURPOSE.

HE WAS RESTLESS.

BUT TO TELL THE TRUTH,

I WAS READY TO GET RID OF HIM
AND HIS CHEATING WAYS.

ALTHOUGH
IT HURT OUR BABY GIRL.

SHE CRIED AND CRIED.

FELT LIKE HE DIDN'T
LOVE HER ENOUGH

TO STAY CLOSE BY, YOU KNOW?

THAT IS THE ONE THING
I WON'T EVER FORGIVE HIM FOR.

BUT YOU DIDN'T WONDER
IF HE WAS IN AN ACCIDENT?

OH! THAT DRESS
IS A DREAM ON YOU.

[IMPRESSED LAUGH]

WOW!

IT FITS PERFECTLY.

OH. TOO BAD
I CAN'T AFFORD IT.

I THOUGHT YOU JUST INHERITED
SOME MONEY FROM JANE ENGLE?

YOU'RE RIGHT!

I DID!

WOW. I'VE NEVER BOUGHT
SO MANY CLOTHES AT ONCE.

THIS MUST BE
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

TO BE MARCIA RIDEOUT,

TO HAVE AN OUTFIT
FOR EVERY MOOD.

YOU DON'T WANT
TO BE LIKE MARCIA.

OH. YOU GUYS
AREN'T FRIENDS?

I THOUGHT
WE WERE, ONCE.

TURNS OUT SHE WAS
A BETTER FRIEND TO BRAD.

MARCIA AND YOUR
HUSBAND WERE...

I DON'T KNOW THAT
FOR SURE,

BUT HE WAS ALWAYS
FLIRTING WITH HER,

AND SHE FLIRTED
RIGHT BACK.

I EVEN WARNED
TORRANCE ABOUT IT ONCE.

I SAID, "WE'D BETTER KEEP
AN EYE ON THOSE TWO."

HUH! WELL, THANK YOU.

MY PLEASURE.

SALLY!

ROE, LOOK AT YOU!
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!

THANK YOU, BUT...

NO, SERIOUSLY!
THAT'S A GREAT DRESS!

THANKS,
BUT NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT.

I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT THE BODY WE FOUND

REALLY IS BRAD REILLY,

AND I'M PRETTY SURE
I KNOW WHO KILLED HIM.

WHO?

TORRANCE RIDEOUT.

TORRANCE RIDEOUT,
A KILLER?

I DON'T KNOW.
HE SEEMS SO NICE.

WELL, HE MIGHT NOT
BE THAT NICE

TO A MAN CHASING
AFTER HIS WIFE!

THAT'S WHAT CAREY REILLY
JUST TOLD ME BRAD WAS DOING,

AND SHE SAID SHE WARNED
TORRANCE ABOUT IT.

THAT'S ONE. TWO...

AS SOON AS
BRAD DISAPPEARED,

TORRANCE STARTED WORRYING
ABOUT BEING WATCHED.

HE EVEN STOPPED RENTING OUT
HIS GARAGE APARTMENT.

THREE, WHEN
I SURPRISED THE KILLER

SEARCHING JANE'S HOUSE,

HE RAN OFF TO THE NORTH.

THE STREET DEAD-ENDS
AT THE NORTH,

JUST PAST TORRANCE
AND MACON'S HOUSES.

OKAY, WAIT.

YOU SAID THAT BRAD TRYING
TO GET BUSY WITH MARCIA

GIVES TORRANCE MOTIVE
TO GET RID OF HIM.

RIGHT? DOESN'T THAT
ALSO GIVE CAREY MOTIVE?

I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT,

BUT CAREY IS SO UPSET ABOUT
HER DAUGHTER FEELING ABANDONED,

I DON'T THINK THAT
SHE'D PUT THAT BURDEN ON HER

IF SHE KNEW
THAT BRAD WAS DEAD

AND NOT A DESERTER.

I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

I MEAN, IT'S GOT
TO BE TORRANCE.

HE HAD THE MOTIVE,
NOW I JUST NEED

TO FIND OUT IF
HE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY.

CAREY TOLD ME THE DAY
BRAD DISAPPEARED TWO YEARS AGO,

WHICH FITS, TIME-WISE.

JUST THAT BODY MUST'VE
BEEN BURIED FOR QUITE AWHILE

BEFORE THE KILLER FIGURED OUT
THAT THE SKULL WAS MISSING.

I WONDER
IF I CAN FIND OUT

IF TORRANCE WAS IN TOWN THE DAY
BRAD SUPPOSEDLY TOOK OFF.

OR YOU COULD LET
THE POLICE FIND THAT OUT.

I KNOW IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU WANT, ROE, BUT...

NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S TIME.

I MEAN, THE POLICE
CAN IDENTIFY THAT BODY,

AND IF IT REALLY WAS BRAD,

THEN CAREY AND HER DAUGHTER
DESERVE TO KNOW.

THE POLICE NEED
TO MAKE AN ARREST.

OKAY, WE'RE GOING
TO THE POLICE STATION

RIGHT NOW BEFORE
YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.

OKAY, I CAN'T DO THIS.

I CAN'T ACCUSE
TORRANCE OF MURDER,

NOT WITHOUT PROOF.

WHAT IF I'M WRONG?

I COULD BE
RUINING HIS LIFE.

SO DON'T DO THAT.

JUST HAND THE SKULL
OVER TO THE POLICE,

AND LET THEM
FIGURE IT OUT.

WHAT? AND ADMIT
THAT I'VE HAD IT FOR DAYS?

THEY COULD SAY
I'M TAMPERING WITH EVIDENCE.

THEY COULD ARREST ME!

COULD THEY ARREST
ME TOO, FOR KNOWING?

WE NEED A BETTER PLAN.
LET'S GO.

ROE?

SORRY TO KEEP
YOU WAITING.

I UNDERSTAND
YOU HAVE MORE INFORMATION

ON THE BODY YOU FOUND?

WELL, NOT INFORMATION

AS MUCH AS QUESTIONS
ABOUT WHO IT WAS.

WE KNOW THAT CAREY REILLY'S
HUSBAND, BRAD, DISAPPEARED

A FEW YEARS AGO.

IT SEEMS LIKE HE'S
THE MOST LIKELY PERSON.

WELL, WHEN WE I.D. THE BODY,

WE'LL BE SURE TO LET
THE FAMILY KNOW FIRST,

AND THEN
WE'LL RELEASE A STATEMENT.

THEN YOU HAVEN'T
IDENTIFIED IT YET?

THERE ARE CHALLENGES.

WHAT IF YOU HAD
THE SKULL?

HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW
THAT BODY'S MISSING ITS SKULL?

UM...

WE WATCHED THEM DIG IT UP.

YEAH.

I EXPECT YOU
TO KEEP THAT CONFIDENTIAL.

I ALSO EXPECT YOU TO REMEMBER

THAT THIS IS NOW A POLICE MATTER
UNDER MY JURISDICTION,

AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE

CIVILIANS LOITERING
IN MY STATION,

TRYING TO PUMP MY DETECTIVES
FOR INFORMATION.

[GRUMBLING SIGH]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST,
BUT WE'VE GOT THIS COVERED.

OKAY, BUT IN CASE
IT TURNS OUT TO BE BRAD,

CAREY THINKS THAT
TORRANCE RIDEOUT HAD A REASON

TO BE JEALOUS OF HIM.

JUST IN CASE YOU WANT TO GO
TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT TORRANCE.

YOU TWO ARE IN THAT CLUB,
AREN'T YOU?

THE "REAL MURDERS CLUB?"

SO WAS ARTHUR.

WELL, IF WE'D LIKE TO
CONVENE A CLUB MEETING,

WE'LL BE SURE
TO HAVE YOU OVER

FOR PUNCH AND COOKIES
AND GOSSIP.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME,

THIS IS MY CASE,

AND YOU NEED TO STAY OUT OF IT.

ROE? WOW.

YOU LOOK AMAZING.

YOU... YOU LOOK...
YOU LOOK NICE TOO, HONEY.

YOU'VE GOT A...
HEH. DEAR? HONEY?

♪ ♪

THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

OH, WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE DONE THAT.

IF YOU ASK ME,
THE FIRST MISTAKE

WAS YOU KEEPING
THAT SKULL

AND DECIDING
TO PLAY DETECTIVE.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
I FOUND THE BODY.

WHO KNOWS IF IT EVER
WOULD'VE BEEN FOUND

IF I HADN'T?

AND I MIGHT EVEN
KNOW THE ANSWER.

THIS ISN'T A GAME
TO ME, SALLY.

I KNOW, ROE!

BUT IT'S NOT YOUR JOB.
IT'S THEIRS.

EXACTLY.
IT'S THEIR JOB.

AND THEN
THEY GO HOME AT NIGHT

AND THEY THINK
ABOUT OTHER THINGS,

AND THEY MAY OR MAY NOT
GET AROUND TO SOLVING IT.

BUT IT IS NOT A JOB TO ME,

AND IT'S NOT A GAME,
IT'S A...

IT'S A WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW!

I JUST KNOW THAT I ALL
BUT POINTED A FINGER

AT TORRANCE RIDEOUT,

AND I NEED TO FIGURE OUT

IF THAT WAS
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

♪ ♪

[PHONE RINGS]

AURORA TEAGARDEN.

OH! MR. LEONARD, HI.

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR CALLING ME BACK.

I JUST HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS
FOR YOU

ABOUT A PROJECT YOU DEVELOPED
WITH TORRANCE RIDEOUT,

TWO YEARS AGO?

YEAH, I UNDERSTAND

THAT YOU PRESENTED THAT
AT A CONFERENCE IN JUNE,

BUT I-I CAN'T FIND
THE EXACT DATES.

SORRY, UH...
WHAT WAS THAT NAME AGAIN?

UH, IS MS. JASPER IN?

SHE ORGANIZED
A SUPPLY CHAIN CONFERENCE

IN PHOENIX TWO YEARS AGO.

I JUST HAD TO ASK HER...

WHAT TIME IS SHE LEAVING?

I'M 45 MINUTES AWAY.
I CAN GET THERE BEFORE THEN.

I'D RATHER TALK TO HER
IN PERSON.

♪ ♪

EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND,
THERE YOU ARE.

SO IT WAS BRAD'S BODY
THAT I FOUND?

THE CORONER SAYS
THAT THE SKELETON

MATCHES HIS AGE
AND HIS HEIGHT,

BUT WE WON'T HAVE
A DNA CONFIRMATION

FOR ANOTHER FEW DAYS,

AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO TELL CAREY
UNTIL WE KNOW FOR SURE.

YEAH, BUT YOU MUST
BE PRETTY SURE,

OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE

CHECKING OUT
TORRANCE RIDEOUT'S ALIBI.

DOES HE HAVE ONE?

YEAH, HE DOES.

HE WAS IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA,

THE DAY
THAT BRAD REILLY DISAPPEARED.

I JUST SAW PHOTOS
OF HIM THERE.

[SIGHS]

SO I WAS WRONG.

YEP, YOU WERE WRONG,
AND I JUST WASTED AN ENTIRE DAY

GOING ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE,
AND WHY?

BECAUSE ARTHUR CONVINCED ME

THAT YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF
SUPER-SLEUTH POWERS.

"HER INSTINCTS
ARE NEVER OFF," HE SAID.

"PROMISE ME

YOU'LL FOLLOW THROUGH,"
HE SAID.

REALLY? HE SAID THAT?

[STARTS SOBBING]

STUPID PREGNANCY HORMONES.

HEY. HEY, LISTEN.

WE NEVER FELL IN LOVE.

ARTHUR AND ME,
I MEAN, WE TRIED,

BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED.

WE JUST... WE HAD
A COMMON INTEREST,

THAT WAS ALL.

THIS ISN'T ME
BEING JEALOUS OF YOU.

THIS IS ME BEING TIRED
OF TRIPPING OVER YOU!

THIS IS ME
FEELING PRESSURE

TO SOLVE THIS CASE
BEFORE I POP!

AND THIS IS ME WARNING YOU

THAT IF I HAVE TO
TRIP OVER YOU ONE MORE TIME

IN CONNECTION WITH THIS CASE,

I WILL BE ARRESTING YOU
FOR OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE.

♪ ♪

[HUFFS WEARILY]

♪ ♪

HEY!

HEY!

[THUD]

[ANNOYED]: JOHN?

I DIDN'T BREAK IN!

I HAVE A KEY.

SEE? I DIDN'T
BREAK IN.

WHERE DID YOU
GET THAT KEY?

WELL, FROM JANE,
OF COURSE.

[WHEEZING]

I APOLOGIZE FOR SCARING YOU.

YOU GAVE ME
A FRIGHT AS WELL,

WHEN YOU RETURNED
SO PRECIPITOUSLY.

NORMALLY, YOU LEAVE
AND YOU DON'T COME BACK

FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY,

AND THAT'S
THE ONLY TIME I ENTER...

WHEN I'M SURE
I WON'T DISTURB YOU.

WHY DID JANE GIVE YOU A KEY?

WHICH I'LL TAKE BACK,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I WAS ONE OF THE FEW
WHO KNEW SHE WAS SO ILL.

I OFFERED TO RUN ERRANDS,
PICK UP PRESCRIPTIONS, WHATNOT.

WELL...
AND WHY'D YOU COME BACK NOW?

I'M EMBARRASSED TO SAY
I WANTED TO SEE YOUR DIAGRAM,

SEE WHAT KIND OF PROGRESS
YOU'RE MAKING

IN SOLVING
THE CASE OF THE FOUND SKULL.

JANE TOLD YOU
ABOUT THE SKULL?

NO. IN TRUTH, I'M QUITE PEEVED
THAT SHE DIDN'T SEE FIT

TO TRUST ME WITH
SUCH AN INTERESTING ITEM

IN HER POSSESSION.

WAIT. THEN HOW DID YOU...?

♪ ♪

SALLY!

DON'T YOU DARE
BE MAD AT ME!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW WORRIED I WAS,

HOW AFRAID THAT I WAS
DOING THE WRONG THING

BY EVEN LETTING
YOU START THIS CRAZY

INVESTIGATION
OF YOURS.

IT IS NOT CRAZY.

EXACTLY
WHAT I SAID TO HER.

IT'S LIKE
WORKING OUT A PUZZLE.

OBVIOUSLY, I WENT
TO THE WRONG PERSON FOR ADVICE.

I HAD NO IDEA, WHEN HE OFFERED
TO KEEP AN EYE ON THE SITUATION,

THAT HE WOULD WIND UP
JUST AS OBSESSED AS YOU ARE!

TELL HER WHAT YOU DID,
UNCLE JOHN!

I...

PUT ON A NOTE
ON YOUR WINDSHIELD

ASKING WHERE THE SKULL WAS.

THAT WAS YOU?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW MUCH THAT SCARED ME?

I THOUGHT
IT WAS FROM THE KILLER!

I DIDN'T MEAN IT TO SCARE YOU.

I THOUGHT PERHAPS
IT MIGHT CAUSE YOU

TO HEAD FOR THE SKULL,
AND I WOULD FOLLOW YOU TO IT.

AN ILL-CONCEIVED STRATEGY.
I APOLOGIZE AGAIN.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME
THAT YOU KNEW ABOUT IT?

BECAUSE HE THINKS
THIS IS A CONTEST,

AND HE WANTS TO WIN!

I THINK NO SUCH THING!

OH, REALLY?

YOU DON'T REMEMBER SAYING
THAT THIS COULD SETTLE

WHO HAS THE FINEST

MIND FOR CRIME
IN THE REAL MURDERS CLUB?

IF I SAID THAT...

THEN, CLEARLY,

IT'S BEEN SETTLED.

SHE FOUND THE BODY.

SHE HAS THE MORE LOGICAL SUSPECT
THAN I.

I NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED
TORRANCE RIDEOUT.

WE SERVED
IN ROTARY CLUB TOGETHER.

I WAS BLINDED
BY HIS GOOD DEEDS.

NO, IT TURNS OUT

THAT TORRANCE
HAS AN AIRTIGHT ALIBI.

HE'S NOT THE KILLER.

SAY, PERHAPS I WAS ON
THE RIGHT PATH AFTER ALL.

MY PRIMARY SUSPECT

IS BUBBA RANKART,

CAREY'S JILTED LOVER.

THAT COULD EXPLAIN

WHY BUBBA'S SUDDENLY
SO EAGER TO LEAVE TOWN.

BUT THE KILLER
BROKE IN

TO LOOK FOR THE SKULL,

AND BUBBA HAD
A SET OF KEYS TO THE HOUSE.

[SIGHS]
NO, I DOUBT IT'S HIM.

DO YOU KNOW
HOW DISTURBING IT IS

THAT YOU TWO ARE DISAPPOINTED
BUBBA IS NOT A KILLER?

OKAY, DON'T YOU
THINK IT'S TIME

THAT WE GET THE SKULL TO LYNN
AND LET HER HANDLE IT?

I HAVE THREE DAYS.

[SIGHS]

I'M GOING HOME.

[JOHN SIGHS]

SHE'S WORRIED FOR YOU.

I KNOW.

I DO HOPE
YOU SOLVE THIS

AND THAT YOU'LL LET ME KNOW
IF I CAN HELP.

THANK YOU.

JUST DON'T GO
BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE AGAIN.

♪ ♪

[WOMAN LAUGHING]

[MAN SPEAKING, INDISTINCT]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

ARE YOU STALKING ME?

[CHUCKLES]

FUNNY, I WAS WONDERING
THE SAME THING ABOUT YOU.

HUH. I DON'T SHOW UP

AT YOUR OFFICE THE WAY
THAT YOU SHOW UP AT MINE.

TO SEE SALLY.

AND THIS MORNING?

I SEE YOU FROM MY FRONT YARD,
WATCHING ME?

NO, MISS TEAGARDEN,

IF THERE'S A STALKER HERE,
IT'S YOU.

JUST BE CAREFUL
I DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA.

[PHONE LINE RINGING]

[JOHN]: HI, ROE.

HI, JOHN?

YEAH, YOU SAID YOU'D BE WILLING
TO HELP ME SOLVE MY PUZZLE...

[WOMAN AND MAN
LAUGHING HEARTILY]

OH, MR. QUEENSLAND!
[CACKLING]

[MAISIE CACKLING
AND SNORTING]

JOHN...

HI!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

AFTERNOON,
SALLY.

I'M PLACING
A CLASSIFIED AD.

I'M READY TO SELL
MY GOLF CLUBS.

I'M CONVINCED

THEY'RE PURPOSELY
SABOTAGING MY GAME.

[CRACKING UP]

[SNORTS, CACKLES
AND SIGHS]

AHEM.

[KNOCKING LOUDLY]

YOU SEND JOHN
TO MY OFFICE

TO SPY ON MY BOSS,

AND YOU DON'T
TELL ME ABOUT IT?

MAISIE WAS A FOUNTAIN
OF INFORMATION,

AS YOU EXPECTED.

YOU SHOULD HAVE
AT LEAST WARNED ME!

I WANTED TO,

BUT I KNEW YOU WOULD
TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT.

I THINK IT'S POSSIBLE
MACON IS THE KILLER.

NO, HE'S NOT!
HE'S A NICE GUY.

HE GAVE ME MY JOB!

THE KILLER,
WHEN HE BROKE IN HERE,

HE RAN OFF
IN THAT DIRECTION.

THERE ARE ONLY TWO HOUSES
AT THE END OF THE STREET

BEFORE IT DEAD-ENDS...

TORRANCE'S HOUSE
AND MACON'S HOUSE.

WE'VE ALREADY RULED OUT
TORRANCE. THAT LEAVES...

ONE MACON TURNER.

AND THIS IS YOUR REASON
FOR SUSPECTING HIM?

THERE'S ALSO THIS.

I WAS SEARCHING
THE COURT RECORDS.

I FOUND A LAWSUIT

AGAINST THE PAPER

FOR SLANDERING

AN AUTO REPAIR SHOP OWNER

WITH A STORY ABOUT
HOW HE CHEATED HIS CUSTOMERS,

BUT THE SUIT NAMED
MACON IN PARTICULAR.

AND GUESS WHO
FILED THE SUIT?

ONE BRADLEY MICHAEL REILLY.

I FOUND
THE ORIGINAL FILING

WITH THE DATE
IT WAS FILED...

TWO MONTHS BEFORE
BRAD DISAPPEARED.

AND BRAD DISAPPEARED
JUST THREE DAYS

BEFORE THE CASE
WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO COURT.

THIS IS ACCORDING
TO YOUR MISS MAISIE.

MAISIE ALSO SAID
THAT MACON WAS SICK WITH WORRY

THAT, IF THE PAPER
LOST THE SUIT,

MACON WOULD LOSE HIS JOB.

IT CAN'T BE.

NOT MACON.

WELL, HE CLEARLY HAD A MOTIVE.

THE QUESTION IS,
HOW DO WE PROVE...

WHAT? NO! [GASPING]

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO! NO. NO, NO!
MY MOTHER FOUND THE SKULL.

♪ ♪

[LAUGHS] OH!
AURORA, DARLING.

YOUR LOVELY NEIGHBOR

WAS JUST ISSUING
INVITATIONS

TO A BARBECUE
IN YOUR HONOR.

WELL, ALSO IN HONOR
OF THE SMITHS,

TO WELCOME YOU ALL
TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

IT'S TOMORROW. LYNN...

I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU
AND ARTHUR CAN COME, TOO.

WE WILL DO OUR BEST.

AND MRS. TEAGARDEN.

I MEAN, YOU MUST COME, TOO.
THE MORE, THE MERRIER!

I'M SURE I'D LOVE TO.

YEAH, WE'LL BE THERE.

THANK YOU.
YOU'RE SO KIND.

UM, I JUST HAVE TO
STEAL MY MOTHER.

- OH!
- WHAT ON EARTH?

SEE YOU!

JOHN! WHAT
A LOVELY SURPRISE.

MORE THAN LOVELY
FOR ME.

OH.

MOTHER, DO YOU
HAVE ANY IDEA

WHAT YOU'RE CARRYING
IN THAT BAG?

HAH! YES, A SKULL.

I ASSUME IT'S A PROP
FROM YOUR GHASTLY LITTLE CLUB,

BUT IT'S TOO VULGAR.

I DON'T WANT IT IN MY HOUSE.

NO. IT'S NOT A PROP.

THAT IS A REAL SKULL,

FROM THE BODY I FOUND
DOWN THE STREET.

OH...

OH!

YOU...

YOU PUT THE REMAINS OF
A HUMAN HEAD IN MY SPARE CLOSET?

AURORA, WHAT
WERE YOU THINKING?

WELL, I WAS THINKING...

NO! UH-UH! DON'T TELL ME.
I DON'T CARE.

ALL I CARE IS
THAT YOU DO THE RIGHT THING

AND YOU TAKE IT TO THE POLICE.

OH! AMEN.

I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
HOW TO DO THAT.

TO GET IT TO THEM WITHOUT
GETTING ME AND SALLY ARRESTED...

♪ ♪

BUT WAIT.

NO, WE CAN'T GIVE IT
BACK TO THEM JUST YET.

YOU CAN MAKE HER DO IT, RIGHT?

YOU'RE HER MOTHER,
SHE HAS TO LISTEN TO YOU.

WE CAN'T GIVE IT
TO THEM BECAUSE...

WE'RE GONNA USE IT AS BAIT...

TO CATCH A KILLER.

WAIT A MINUTE.
DID YOU JUST SAY

THAT YOU'RE GONNA USE THAT SKULL
AS BAIT?

TO CATCH A KILLER. YES.

NOW DO YOU SEE WHAT
I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH?

HOW WOULD THAT WORK?
HOW WOULD WE GO ABOUT IT?

WELL, THE RIDEOUTS ARE
THROWING A BARBECUE TOMORROW.

THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD
WILL BE THERE.

MACON WILL BE THERE.

NOW, IF WE DROP HINTS
ABOUT FINDING THE SKULL...

HIS REACTION
WOULD SPEAK VOLUMES.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD
SUCH A WRETCHED PLOT!

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!

OH, SHE'S SERIOUS.

OF COURSE, I'M SERIOUS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

I KNOW YOU DON'T.

WELL, I UNDERSTAND HER,
AND IT'S A SOLID PLAN.

IT COULD WORK VERY WELL.

OR...

YOU BOTH COULD FIND OUT
HOW WRONG YOU ARE ABOUT MACON,

AND I GET TO BE THERE
TO SEE IT.

GUESS WHO YOU'RE TAKING
TO THE BARBECUE?

WELL, I NEED TO
BE THERE AS WELL.

WELL, MARCIA JUST
INVITED MY MOM.

YOU CAN BE HER DATE.

NO. NO. I WON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS AT ALL.

NO. MM-MM.
NOT ONE TINY BIT.

IN FACT,
I'M NOT GOING AT ALL!

MARCIA...

YOUR TABLE LOOKS

STRAIGHT FROM
THE PAGES OF A MAGAZINE.

IT REALLY IS GORGEOUS.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE ENTERTAINING

TO BRING OUT
MY CREATIVE SIDE.

[CHUCKLES, THEN STOPS]

SOMETHING WRONG?

NO. JUST TORRANCE.

YOU KNOW, I ASKED HIM
TO PUT AWAY

HIS SOFTBALL STUFF
AFTER PRACTICE.

HE JUST ALWAYS
LEAVES THEM LAYING AROUND.

MEN ARE SUCH MESSES.
AM I RIGHT, AIDA?

[FORCED CHUCKLE]

I CAN'T BELIEVE
I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.

WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE SOME LEMONADE.

THANKS. SHE'S JUST
A LITTLE UPSET.

THE DOCTOR PUT HER
ON BED REST.

I'M NOT DUE
FOR THREE MORE WEEKS.

SHE WENT INTO
FALSE LABOR LAST NIGHT.

HOURS AT
THE HOSPITAL.

I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T
THE REAL THING. DIDN'T I?

- YEP.
- I TOLD YOU.

SHE WAS RIGHT.

YEAH. MORE ACHILLES.

OKAY.

♪ ♪

OH, ROE!

I WANTED TO
TALK TO YOU

ABOUT THAT SKELETON
THAT YOU FOUND.

I'VE BEEN THINKING, AND...

WHAT IF THIS ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD

WAS BUILT
ON AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND?

WOULDN'T THAT BE SOMETHING?

YOU SHOULD TALK TO MY MOTHER.

SHE KNOWS THE HISTORY OF
JUST ABOUT EVERY HOUSE IN TOWN.

OH!

GREAT. I'LL TALK TO HER, THEN.

♪ ♪

HEY, GUYS.

YOU KNOW, CAREY
WAS JUST WONDERING

WHETHER THIS
SUBDIVISION WAS

BUILT ON AN INDIAN
BURIAL GROUND.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OH, I THINK THAT
WOULD BE ILLEGAL,

BUT HOW ELSE
DO YOU EXPLAIN

THE BODY YOU FOUND?

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.

I ALSO DON'T KNOW
HOW TO EXPLAIN

WHY IT WAS MISSING
ITS SKULL.

IT WAS WHAT?

IT... THE SKELETON
WAS MISSING ITS SKULL.

OF COURSE, I KNEW THAT
BEFORE I FOUND IT.

AH. WELL, I'M SURE
THE POLICE ARE HANDLING IT.

YEAH, I JUST HOPE
THAT THEY'RE, UH,

FOCUSING ON THAT MISSING CHUNK
IN ITS HEAD.

IT SURE LOOKS
LIKE MURDER.

WELL, THAT WOULD
REALLY BE SOMETHING,

ESPECIALLY
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

WOULDN'T IT?

- YEAH. SURE WOULD.
- YEAH.

UH, SO WHAT
WERE YOU SAYING,

ABOUT YOUR BOSS'S...
WAS IT A MUSTANG?

YEAH. IT'S A 302 BOSS,

AND HE HAS ALL NEW PARTS
TOP TO BOTTOM.

WELL?

YES, PLEASE TELL US
THAT WE CAN BE DONE

WITH THIS
RIDICULOUS FARCE.

[CELL RINGS]

SCOTT, HI!
I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU CALLED,

AND I REALLY
WANT TO TALK TO YOU,

BUT I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING RIGHT NOW,

AND I HAVE TO
CALL YOU BACK, OKAY?

HELLO?

ROE?

MACON DIDN'T HAVE

ANY SIGNIFICANT REACTION
THAT I COULD TELL.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

SEE? I TOLD YOU...

THERE'S NO WAY
MACON KILLED BRAD REILLY.

MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED?

THAT WAS BRAD'S SKELETON
THAT YOU FOUND?

♪ ♪

YOU PULLED MY HUSBAND'S BODY
FROM THE GROUND

AND I HAVE TO FIND OUT
FROM MY NEIGHBORS?

WHAT KIND OF POLICE
DEPARTMENT ARE YOU?

LOOK, YOU SHOULD KNOW,

THE WAY THAT
YOU'VE HANDLED THIS

IS GONNA BE PART
OF THE STORY

WHEN IT RUNS
IN THE PAPER.

♪ ♪

COME ON. LET'S GO.

YOU...

[WINCES SHARPLY]

I WARNED YOU.

SEVERAL TIMES.

YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.

I AM CHARGING YOU WITH
OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE.

ALL OF YOU IDIOT
"REAL MURDERS" PEOPLE.

OH! YOU CERTAINLY
DON'T MEAN ME.

ALL OF YOU!

[STIFLED GROAN]
ALL OF YOU.

OKAY, HONEY,
YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S JUST GET YOU
TO BED. ALRIGHT?

I THINK IT'S
JUST ONE OF

THOSE STUPID
BRAXTON HICKS THINGS.

PROBABLY, BUT
YOU SHOULD BE RESTING.

- LET'S GO.
- ARTHUR!

OKAY.

YOU BETTER
CALL YOUR LAWYER.

[SIGHING]

FOR HEAVEN'S
SAKES, AURORA.

YOU'VE MADE ME
A CRIMINAL?

HOW COULD YOU PUT ME
IN THIS POSITION?

I'LL TRY
AND TALK TO HER.

WELL, WHO'S GONNA
EAT ALL THIS FOOD?

I'M SO SORRY.

I-I DIDN'T MEAN
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.

♪ ♪

- DON'T...
- ARGH! NO.

JUST... JUST A MO...

OH! COME BACK.

MOTHER, NO!

IF YOU GIVE THAT TO LYNN,
SHE MIGHT REALLY CHARGE YOU!

I'M GONNA
PROVE TO HER

I'M NOT ONE OF YOU
MURDER-OBSESSED PEOPLE.

BUT SHE'S
FURIOUS RIGHT NOW.

WE COULD ALL FIND
OURSELVES BEHIND BARS

BEFORE THE DAY IS OUT.

BUT THIS IS EVIDENCE!
AND IF YOU'RE HOLDING ONTO IT,

WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU DESERVE
TO BE BEHIND BARS.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'LL GO PUT IT BACK
WHERE IT CAME FROM,

AND I'LL TELL THE POLICE
WHERE THEY CAN FIND IT.

RIGHT NOW.
I PROMISE.

YOU'RE FINALLY
TALKING SENSE.

I'M SORRY THAT
WE DRAGGED YOU INTO THIS.

I REALLY AM.

I'M SURE

I WILL ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY
EVENTUALLY,

BUT RIGHT NOW
I NEED TO GO HOME

AND INDULGE IN
SOME RETAIL THERAPY.

SO YOU'RE SURE

THIS IS OUTSIDE THE AREA
THE POLICE SEARCHED?

POSITIVE. THEY DIDN'T
GO PAST THAT PERIMETER.

OKAY, FIRST THING TOMORROW,

I'LL SAY I WAS
SNOOPING AROUND, CURIOUS,

AND STUMBLED
ONTO THE SKULL HERE.

YEAH, THEY'LL PROBABLY

THINK AN ANIMAL
DUG IT UP.

SO MUCH FOR THE MEMBERS
OF THE REAL MURDERS CLUB

HAVING MINDS FOR MURDER.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[JANE]: MEN JUST CANNOT
BRING THEMSELVES TO BELIEVE

THAT A WOMAN HAS
THE CONSTITUTION TO KILL.

"WHEN A WOMAN KILLS,

IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS
FRIENDS OR RELATIVES."

[ECHOING]: WELL, YOU SHOULD
KNOW WE CONSIDER EVERYBODY

IN OUR LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD
OUR FRIENDS.

"A WOMAN'S DARK SIDE
IS OFTEN UNDERESTIMATED."

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A WOMAN.

[EXHALES]

NOBODY EVER
SUSPECTS THE WOMAN!

OH, JANE.

YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

[PHONE LINE RINGING]

HELLO?

SALLY. IT'S ME.

I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!

I KNOW
WHO KILLED BRAD REILLY!

[GASPING,
MUFFLED PROTESTING]

[SALLY]: ROE? ROE!

ROE, ARE YOU OKAY?
WHAT HAPPENED?

[ROE PROTESTING]

CAN'T LET YOU DO IT!

CAN'T LET YOU TELL PEOPLE
WHAT MARCIA DID.

[ROE GRUNTS]

AHH!

[GASPS]

YOU NEED TO STAY
IN THE HOUSE.

YOU KILLED BRAD REILLY.

WELL, NOT ON PURPOSE.

I JUST WAS TRYING

TO MAKE A POINT
WITH THIS BAT HERE,

FOR HIM
TO LEAVE ME ALONE.

JUST 'CAUSE
YOU FLIRT WITH A FELLOW

DOESN'T MEAN
HE CAN TAKE LIBERTIES.

IT WAS SELF-
DEFENSE, REALLY.

BUT YOU DIDN'T
CALL THE POLICE?

WELL, I DIDN'T
KNOW HE WAS DEAD!

I MEAN, NOT AT FIRST.

I JUST THOUGHT
THAT, EVENTUALLY,

HE WAS GONNA GET UP
AND CRAWL OUT

WITH HIS TAIL
BETWEEN HIS LEGS,

BUT HE NEVER GOT UP,

AND THEN
IT JUST SEEMED...

TOO LATE TO CALL.

YEAH, HE WAS ON
THE KITCHEN FLOOR

WHEN I GOT HOME
THE NEXT DAY.

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
LET MY SWEET SUGAR

GET DRAGGED OFF
IN HANDCUFFS?

IT WAS MY FAULT,

FOR NOT BEING THERE
TO PROTECT HER.

SO YOU BURNED HIS CLOTHES
AND BURIED HIM?

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
END OF THE SIDEWALK.

SEEMED RIGHT
TO BURY HIM AS CLOSE

TO HIS OWN HOUSE
AS POSSIBLE.

OH, MY GOSH, BUT I STARTED
HAVING THESE NIGHTMARES...

HIS GHOST WALKING UP
AND DOWN THE STREET.

I THOUGHT
ABOUT MOVING HIM,

BUT WHEN I WENT
TO DIG HIM UP...

THE SKULL WAS MISSING.

YEAH, I FIGURED SOMEBODY
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

HAD TO HAVE IT.

WHICH I THOUGHT
WAS SILLY.

I MEAN, ALL THAT
BREAKING INTO HOUSES,

TORRANCE,
WASN'T NICE.

I WAS RIGHT,
WASN'T I?

JANE HAD IT.

HE DIDN'T SUSPECT
JANE FOR A SECOND.

BUT HE BROKE IN HERE
LAST WEEK.

I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD
HURT TO TAKE A LOOK...

BUT I DIDN'T
FIND IT.

NEVER WOULD'VE
GUESSED UNTIL TODAY

THAT YOU HAD IT.

WHICH IS SUCH A SHAME,

BECAUSE YOU WOULD'VE
MADE SUCH A NICE NEIGHBOR.

OH, I CAN STILL BE
A NICE NEIGHBOR.

I MEAN, IF YOU REALLY HIT
BRAD REILLY IN SELF-DEFENSE...

NO, IT'S TOO LATE TO GO
DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN.

I MEAN, EVEN IF
I DIDN'T GO TO JAIL,

TORRANCE WOULD,
FOR BURYING THE BODY,

AND I'M NOT GONNA LET
TORRANCE GO TO JAIL

FOR PROTECTING ME.

OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T, SUGAR.

SO, WHAT? ARE YOU GONNA BASH ME
IN THE HEAD WITH THAT BAT, TOO?

OH, MY GOSH. OF COURSE NOT!

I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. NO.

TORRANCE SAID HE WAS
GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT.

DON'T KNOW IF I WANT
TO USE THE BAT.

REMEMBER HOW MUCH BLOOD

IT LEFT ON
THE KITCHEN FLOOR?

MM.

I'D RATHER JUST
THROW HER IN THE TUB

AND DROWN HER.

[LOUD THUD]

AND I WOULD RATHER YOU GET
YOUR DANG HANDS IN THE AIR!

DO IT! DROP THE BAT
AND GET YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!

BOTH OF YOU!

OH, I'VE NEVER BEEN
SO HAPPY TO SEE ANYONE!

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

YOUR FRIEND, SALLY,
CALLED 9-1-1.

I HEARD OUR DISPATCHER
ON MY SCANNER.

TWO UNITS
ARE ON THE WAY.

[STIFLING GROANS]

SECURE THEM
TO THE FRIDGE, WILL YOU?

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

MOVE. FASTER!

I AM PREGNANT

AND I AM VERY CRANKY! HO!

AT LEAST WE'LL BOTH
GO TO PRISON TOGETHER.

ARE YOU GOING
INTO LABOR?

I THINK... [WINCES]

YOU SHOULD TAKE THIS.

[PANTING]
YEAH. HOO.

I THINK YOU NEED
TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

NO TIME!

THINK... [GASPS]

BABY'S COMING NOW!

[SIRENS WAILING NEARBY]

[YELLS]: WHERE IS SHE?

WHERE'S LYNN?

WHERE'S MY WIFE?

[RADIOS CRACKLING INDISTINCTLY]

[BABY FUSSING]

[DELIGHTED GIGGLING]

[HAPPY SIGH]

YOU DELIVERED MY BABY.

YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

I AM NOT NAMING
THIS KID AFTER YOU.

[BABY FUSSING]

COME MEET YOUR DAUGHTER.

♪ ♪

DAUGHTER...

[PARENTS GIGGLING TENDERLY]

HI.

[JOHN]: YOU KNOW, EVEN
THE POLICE HAVE ACKNOWLEDGED

THAT THE MURDER OF BRAD REILLY

MAY NEVER HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED,
LET ALONE SOLVED,

WITHOUT HER.

SO IT IS WITH A...

MIXTURE OF IMMENSE PRIDE,

AND MORE THAN A LITTLE ENVY,

THAT I TURN OVER

THE OFFICE

OF PRESIDENT
OF THE REAL MURDERS CLUB

TO MISS AURORA TEAGARDEN.

[ALL APPLAUDING]

OH, ROE! YOU DID GOOD.

EVEN WITH ME FIGHTING YOU
EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

DON'T YOU JUST KNOW

THAT JANE'S UP THERE,

SMILING DOWN FROM
HER WINDOW SEAT IN HEAVEN?

OH, I'M SORRY.
EXCUSE ME. ONE SEC.

HELLO? HI.

[QUIET CHATTER, INDISTINCT]

- HI!
- HI.

I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

YEAH, YOU TOO.

I SEEM TO BE DATING A WOMAN
OF HIDDEN DEPTHS.

I WONDER WHAT OTHER SURPRISES
YOU MIGHT HAVE IN STORE FOR ME.

♪ ♪

[GASPING]: AURORA!

OH! I SUPPOSE CONGRATULATIONS
ARE IN ORDER,

"MADAM PRESIDENT."

OH!

ALTHOUGH I STILL THINK

THAT THIS IS NOT
AN APPROPRIATE ACTIVITY FOR YOU.

I MEAN, YOU COULD'VE
BEEN KILLED.

I'M SORRY THAT I WORRIED YOU.

BUT THIS IS A LOVELY DRESS.
I MEAN, IT'S SO FLATTERING.

THAT WAS MACON.

HE JUST ASSIGNED ME
MY FIRST HARD-NEWS CASE.

[GASPS AND SQUEALS]: YAY!

WE ARE MAKING
PROGRESS, SALLY.

WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪