All language subtitles for Sons.of.Tucson.S01E07_Ensh

RON:
Thank you, Tucson!

RON:
Oh, yeah.

Come to Papa.

Morning, Ron.
Good morning.

You know,
I don't say this often enough,

but you are a real looker.

No joke-- the beard, the shirt,

the greasy hair.

Somehow it just works.

What do you want
from me, Brandon?

Uh, we need you to drive us down
to Game Junction

tonight at 8:00, wait in the car
for four to six hours,

and then
take us home.
What?

And you're going to want
to make us some snacks,

maybe sausage balls--

no, pot stickers.

What in the world
are you guys

going to do out in front
of Nerd Junction all night?

Pimp Killer: Melbourne
comes out at midnight.

(with Australian accent):
Put another pimp

on the barbie, mate.

Just go ahead and say yes, Ron.

You have to anyway,

so let's not draw this out.

Oh, well done,
well done, gang.

No can do.

Tonight is the Tucson
Beer Pong World Series.

Think I have an actual
shot at winning this year.

Bunch of top contenders
are dropping out

'cause of swine flu.

Swapped spit with a barmaid
whose brother had it,

so I'm probably immune.

This is not optional, Ron.

Oh, I'm sorry,
it's not optional?

What day is it, Gary?

June 18.
Why?

Oh, no.

Oh, no, look.

Somebody forgot
to calendar it.

Oh, boy.

You know the rules, Gary.

You made 'em up.

Now, if you'll
excuse me...

(sniffs) ...I have to see a man
about some eggs.

(phone ringing)

(blows raspberry)

Okay, fresh frittata.

(sniffs)

(sniffing)
Oh.

What am I smelling here?

Is that sautéed
rosemary?

You will never get it
out of me, Glenn.

If I give you
one of my recipes,

you'll run off
and do something stupid

like have breakfast
with your wife.

So... you psyched
about Father's Day?

Father's Day, gosh,
hadn't even thought about it.

Come on, this is your
first Father's Day

as an actual father.
Yeah.

And by "actual,"
I mean "fake."

You know what, Glenn?
Father's Day is stupid, man.

It's for suckers.

My family never
celebrated it.

(chuckles)
Although...

one time we did try to give
the old man breakfast in bed.

He just made a big joke
out of it

by screaming at us
about his hangover

and calling us a bunch
of stupid little mistakes.

Oh, that guy could
always make me laugh.

just because
he didn't care

doesn't mean that...

He did care, Glenn.

He used tough love, okay,

like locking me
outside of the house

so I wouldn't rot
my brain with TV.

Now, eat up before it cools.

The pepper jack
will harden and choke you.

Well, I wish
Father's Day wasn't

a big deal
around our house.

Angela considers that
and Mother's Day

the calendar's
cruel reminders

of my failure to
impregnate her.

ANGELA:
Glenn!
Oh, God.

You're eating
here again?
Hey.

If you don't get in
that car right now,

I'm going to couple's
therapy without you.

Damn the siren song
of your frittata, Ron.

No man can resist.

Sorry, honey.

I don't know what
to tell you, Angela.

Some people just get
breakfast, you know.

Unfortunately,
it's not really something

you can learn.

Either you got breakfast...
or you don't.

Hmm, you know, Ron, some
of us are a little too busy

to be cooking three-course
meals in the morning.

We're caught up with
time-consuming things

like brushing, flossing,
taking a shower.

You should try it sometime.

Oh, I'm sorry,
I was busy thinking

about a great recipe I have

for caramel-glazed
sticky buns.

Oh, Ron.

Let's go, Glenn.

His stomach will
always be mine, Angela.

Thanks.
(machine gun firing
on television)

That was Dad's lawyer.

Dad's calling us this Sunday.

Wow, that's awesome.

What's the big deal?
He calls every Sunday.

That's Ron's bookie, Robby.

Dad hasn't called us
since he went to prison.

No wonder that guy never
says "I love you" back.

We're going to want to put
some thought into this.

We only have ten minutes to
talk to him, so I'm proposing

that we divide the
conversation into three chunks

of three minutes
and ten seconds each.

That'll leave us
30 seconds for hand-offs,

throat clearings, and
possible receiver droppings.

Gary, this is Dad,

not one of the girls
you harass at school.

We don't want to squander
our time when he calls.

We all remember
what happened when Dad

was being led out of the
courtroom after sentencing.

Two minutes to say good-bye,
and Brandon wasted it

by asking him
if he liked seafood.

I was hungry.

We need to prepare.

Why did he pick
this Sunday?

It's Father's Day, idiot.

Oh, crap.

I forgot about Father's Day.

I can't believe
I did that.
I forgot it, too.

We should get
him a present.

Can we focus
on the call, guys?

Wait, when is
Dad's birthday again?

February 5... I think.

I forgot that, too.

What kind of son am I?

I'm horrible.

I'm forgetting his face.

I can't picture his face.

He looked a lot
like Garfield.

The president.

Alan, I know.

I know that I owe you
a bunch of money, okay,

b-but what I'm offering you is
worth so much more than money.

It's the original helmet worn

by Jeff Bridges' stunt double
in the movie Tron.

Yep.

You realize that if you kill me,
you'll never get--

yeah, I'll hold.
We have to get him

something special
for Father's Day,

something that
shows we really put

some thought into it.
W-Wait, Alan,
hang on one second.

Yeah, yeah, both kneecaps,
I know, hang on, hang on.

It has to
be personal

to show him how much
we care about him.

Oh, my God, Alan.
(clears throat)

Listen, I know we don't know
each other very well,

but I got to share this
with you.

My boys are buying me
a present for Father's Day.

Do you have kids?

Do you, Alan?
Hello?

(sighs)

(singsongy):
Michael.

(chuckling):
Hey.

What's wrong?

You're smiling at work.

Nothing, nothing's wrong
with me.

I'm just happy.

Stop it, you're
creeping me out.

I get it, I get it,
love is scary, I know.

What are you up to
on Sunday?

I like our relationship
just the way it is, Ron.

I'm throwing a barbecue.

I thought you said that
Father's Day was for suckers.

That was a long time
ago, Mike.

It was yesterday.

People change, man.

All right, the truth is

I just never really saw it
from this side.

Well, I do love
a barbecue.

Yeah.
I'll bring a baked brie
and some sourdough cubes.

(snaps fingers)
Lovely.

Hey, Shawn.

All right, keep your fist
tight when you make contact.

and make sure you clench
your buttocks,

like you're keeping out
an intruder.

Hey, buddy.

Nothing gets in.
Got it?

Yes.

What are you doing on Sunday?

Not too much, taking
an easy day with my kid--

early leg workout and then
a mile swim in Lake Pleasant.

Why?

Would your son be free

to come by my place
for an afternoon BBQ?

(chuckles)

You kidding?

You and I have never
socialized outside of work.

Well, it's never too late
to do the right thing.

Sweet!

Yeah!

Sweet!
(groans)

Hey, he-hey, how about you,
delivery dude?

You feel like coming to
a barbecue Sunday afternoon?

Thanks, but I'm
working Sunday.

Oh, come on,

those little green shorts
scream "party guy."

You can take a half-day,
can't you?

No, I can't.

I made a commitment to
the Green and the Gold,

and I am going to honor it.

Hey, you realize that you
just deliver packages, right?

I deliver hopes and dreams.

They just happen to
come in packages.

Thank you.

Hey, kids, what's
going on-- big trip

with your dad this weekend?

Probably.
Nah.

Camping out
for the new Pimp Killers.

Gets released midnight
at Game Junction.

Oh, that's right--
Pimp Killers.

My kids are
dying for that.

Excuse me.

Hey, Peter, it's Ron.

Listen, I got to bail on
the pong tournament tonight.

There's somewhere
else I have to be.

No, unless there are
three beautiful children

in the bottom
of those cups,

you're going to have
to find yourself

another designated chugger.

We need to brainstorm
some topic ideas for Dad's call.

Robby, what the hell
are you doing?

I'm sending Dad

the most personal
gift of all-- me.
Okay,

I'm filling
in the blanks.

I did some research online
about Dad, and I found

a picture of him
at Yankee Stadium.

So?
So that's one piece
to the puzzle.

It means he loved
the Yankees.

I totally
remember that now.
He didn't love the Yankees.

He just had to take
the clients to the games.

I'm sure he liked
the Red Sox.

But, but I remember him

always yelling, "Get a
move on, Posada, dig deep!"

Dude, Lance Posada was
our gardener.

(grunts)

Can one of you help me pop
this shoulder out?

(sputtering)

Oh, bother.

Wowee, how dedicated
are we, huh, buddy?

I mean, sure, we're on
Tucson's deadliest street,

but gang war, schmang war,
we got a video game to buy.

Am I right?

Gang war?

Yeah, yeah, you know, I mean,
they call it a gang war

to sell more newspapers,
but really, I think

it's just a bunch
of random shootings.

We're out of here.

Yeah, keep your heads down.

Serpentine.

86, 87.

Yeah, I'm 87.

I'm 87, yeah!

Oh, that means 87.1 is giving
me a free trip to Cabo.

(laughs)

Hey, hey, hey,
check it out, man.

I may regret this later,

but I'm feeling a
little crazy right now.

You look like an awesome
dude, I've been to Cabo.

You want to switch?

Yeah.

Yeah, all right.

(sighs)

Dummy.

Oh, no, oh, boy.

There's an all-wheel-
drive station wagon

with an Indigo Girls
bumper sticker

being towed out of
the parking lot.

That anybody's here?

Go get it.

Sorry, bro, all sold out.

No, n-- are you serious?

No, dude, I have been waiting
outside for hours, man.

I-- please, please,

it's for my boys.

All right,
they're these great little guys.

I've really grown to love them
over the last few weeks.

You should have
gotten here earlier.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey,
throw me a bone, Stewart.

You know,
I'm in sales, too.

I know how it works,
all right?

You just got to pull
a few strings for me,

you know what I mean?

You could do that.

Yeah.

Well, there is one
left at a branch

in Lancaster,
Pennsylvania.

That's Amish country.

They're renters,
they don't buy.

Okay.

I could conceivably
put a hold on it

and ship it to you,

but that seems like
a lot of work for me,

so I'm not sure why
I would do that.

Right.

Oh, God, I'm gonna
miss my kneecaps.

I've got a vintage Tron
helmet in my trunk

I'm willing
to part ways with.

It's still got some of the
stuntman's hair stuck inside.

Deal.

Okay.

Hey, bud, great barbecue.

Uh, Angela's
right behind me,

so we're just going
to want to hide

all the sharp
objects like this...

Oh, Glenn.

...and these.

Yeah, don't need...
(clattering)

We should hide this, too.

What are you--
Glenn, what are you doing?

Just take the abuse
for a little bit.

She'll wear herself out.

Hey, hey,
look at this.

And I didn't think
the sun would come out

for my little barbecue.

HI, princess.

You've got a lot of nerve, Ron.

You know how
hard Glenn and I

are trying to have kids,
and you throw this

Father's Day party in our faces.

It's indecent. Selfish ass.

Then why did you come?

I'm not rude.

Here. I baked you a pie.

She bought it.

So, to lead off, what would you
rather hear from your son--

that's he's getting
straight A's,

which is kind of boring
but reassuring,

or that his classmates
are all jealous of him

getting straight A's,
which is a little off-putting,

but it leaves room
for some fatherly advice?

Is there more beer?

Yeah.

Hey, what's the status
on the delivery?

STEWART:
Gets there by 3:00, guaranteed.

I am loving the helmet.

I took it clubbing
last night. What?

Um, any chance you have access

to the circuit board jeans
Tron wore?

Yeah. I have 'em on right now.

Get the package here by 2:00,
and they're yours.

Yes.

Later.
STEWART:
Bye.

Oh, God, I can't wait
to see the look on their faces.

Hey. How is everybody
doing? Hey, Mike, listen,

uh, think you can take
a photo of me and my boys?

A memento
for the day?

Hey, boys.

ROBBY:
He's gonna
love my present.

Does anyone know
what kind of music he likes?

Can you two quit
worrying about this

so we can figure out what
we're gonna say to him?

Guys, guys, seriously, it's
the thought that counts, okay?

You don't have
to give me anything.

What do you mean?

Oh, just having
all three of you

here with me today--
that's enough.

Smile.

Why would we get
you anything for
Father's Day?

We were talking
about our dad.

(bird screeching)

You okay?

I go out of my way
to be there for them, Glenn.

And they could care less.

Oh, chin up, Ronny.

You're making
an effort.

They'll look back
and appreciate that.

You're probably just a
little sensitive because...

This has nothing
to do with my dad, Glenn. God!

You and my high school
psychologist

sound like a broken record.

I was gonna say

'cause people have been
unhappy with the sausages.

What?
Excuse me?

Do you have any mustard
for these hot dogs?

What do I look like,
Mr. Mustard?

Who's Mr. Mustard?
I don't know!
Okay? Look around.

It's yellow-- and just
a wild stab in the dark--

it's probably
in a bottle, okay?!

Is there any ketchup?

Yes.

(sighs)

(cell phone plays tune)

Ugh!

Hey, Stewart.

STEWART:
Better take those pants off.

Mission accomplished.

The package will be
in your star port by 2:00.

You know what?
Just cancel the shipment.

All right? I just found out
that my kids don't even

give a crap.

This whole Father's Day thing
is a complete scam.

I can't cancel it.

The shipment's being handled
by Turbo Package.

Oh, damn it!

You can't have your helmet back!

(sighs)
I didn't ask for the...

Too late! I already gave it
to my girlfriend.

There's no way
you have a girlfriend.

Yes, I do.

What's her name?

Well, I could have a girlfriend
now that I have

the helmet.

Bye, Stewart.
STEWART:
Janet!

Her name is Janet!
RON:
Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

GARY:
This call's
coming up quick.

What are you
gonna say?

Mm.
If you want,

I have some extra
material you can use.

Oh, I have this
great little bit

on winning the
math-letics tournament.

But if you don't think
he'd buy that coming from you...

Oh. (laughs)

You could use this funny
little piece on turtle racing.

Oh.

I went through Dad's
medicine cabinet.

Did you know he was struggling
with constipation?

I had no idea.

(sighs)
I give up. I'm totally lost.

I don't know him at all.

Brandon, keep
it together.

You can spend your time
trying to impress him

with endless chatter
all you want,

but I'm gonna spend my time
listening to him.

I've got to get to know him.

Constipation and the Red Sox
are just the tip of the iceberg.

ROBBY:
Hey, guys?

Guys.

Over here.

You didn't see me, did you?

Nope.

Cool. Box me up. I'm good to go.

You know you can't
actually do this, right?

You're just jealous
you didn't think of it.

Now put that straw
in my mouth

and start shoveling in the dirt.

Hey. Hey. God,
Turbo Express.

Oh, God.

Hey. Hey.

Oh, hey, it's you.

It's Ron. I met you at
the Sport Space the other day.

I invited you
to my barbecue.

Oh, right. Yeah,
good to see you. How was it?

Hey, you know,
it started strong,

and then I, uh, may have yelled

at a fat kid
about some mustard, and...

Hmm.
It doesn't matter.

That's neither
here nor there.

Just wondered, uh, do you...

Do you have a package
for 6760 Nolinas Court?

67 Nolinas...

Come on!

Sure do.

Oh.

Nice. I'll take it

from here.
That's my package.
No can do.

Have to deliver it
to the premises.

No releases off
the back of the trucks.

Okay. Well, I-I sent it,

so now I would like
to unsend it.

Let me explain how this works.

Before you drop off
an item for shipment

at Turbo Package, it's yours.

After it gets
to its destination,

it's the recipient's.

Oh, is that... Is that right?

In between... it's mine.

Yours.

I swore an oath.

Oh, come on.
They made you swear an oath?

No, sir.

I did that on my own...
out of respect for the company.

I... Okay, out of respect, yeah.

That's good.

Respect. I respect respect.

Hey!

Meet Turbo Ron!

That package is mine!

I know, sucker.

Tuck and roll.

Hey!

(laughs)

(grunts)

No.

(panting)

Oh!

Oh!

(panting)

Oh-oh. Oh-oh.

(gasps)

What's that? What are you doing?

(grunting)
(shouting)

(grunting)

(shrieks)

(grunting)

(grunts)

(yells)

(grunts)

(panting)

(grunting)

RON: No.

(grunting)

Thanks.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a delivery to make.

(squeals)

(frustrated grunt)

(straining)

Hey.

Hi, sweetie.

Think maybe you
could go get your dad?

Huh?

Mm-kay. Okay.

GARY:
Opening with the weather!

What was I thinking?

This is all just hack work.

Now I'm wishing
I'd written something down.

Oh, now you come around!

The seafood question
may come out again.

I'm sorry.

Okay, I'm glad
you're all here.

I got something
I got to say.

All right?

I'm pretty pissed off right now,

and I need to get this
off my chest.

(phone ringing)

It's Dad.

(phone beeps on)

Hello?

What?

Ugh!

Okay.

Thanks.

(phone beeps off)

(sighs)

That was Dad's lawyer.

He said Dad got caught

trying to day-trade
through the prison chaplain,

and his phone privileges
were revoked.

(doorbell ringing)

(sighs)

(door squeaks open)

Afternoon, gentlemen.

I've got a
package for you.

And as per Turbo Package's
guarantee,

it is here on time,

delivered by
certified personnel.

Having a nice Father's Day?

Oh, yeah.

Great.
Great.

And don't forget.
Turbo Package...

Let's see what we got here.

It's Pimp Killer: Melbourne.
Awesome!

What?!
That's pretty cool, huh?

You guys got the
game when no else

could get their
hands on it.

"For my boys."

BRANDON:
Oh, my God.

Dad somehow got
us the game.

ROBBY:
Yeah.

So what if he blew the call?

Wow. He really came
through for us.

So what is it you wanted
to get off your chest, Ron?

Nothing.

It's not important.

(tires screeching on TV)

(imitates explosion)
What's up?

You guys enjoying
the game?
Yeah.

(siren wailing on TV)
I thought it was
just an expression.

You really can put a pimp
on the barbie.

(sizzling)
MAN: Crikey, that burns!

See? So, you know,

you guys might not feel
like you know your dad,

but sure looks like he
knows you pretty well.

Weird how our dad
knew we wanted it.

He's a little too
out of the loop

to know something like that.

What? What? Are
you kidding me?

No, this game is
huge in prison.

They probably based
half these characters

on your dad's
block mates.

Right. So, uh, listen,
I was wondering

if maybe I could try out
my speech on you,

just to iron out some
of the wrinkles

for when he actually does call?

Sure.

So, I'd start out by saying

we made it from Jersey
to the investment house.

Robby got us
into a little trouble

with a rodeo clown
in Oklahoma.

Right.
But we're out
here now,

and found a pretty nice guy
to help us out.

School's not too bad, and...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait,
wait, wait. Back up.

What was that? What
was the last part?

I'm just running through this
to get a sense of the timing.

Yeah, the part
right before school.

What-what was that
about a nice guy?

I might be cutting that.

Really?

Felt kind of forced.

Mm-hmm.

Damn it.

Dingo ate
my prostitute.

Hey, where's Robby?

(grunts)