All language subtitles for Young Sheldon - 01x20 - A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish.WEB-DL.YFN-ION10-AMZN.WEB-DL.NTb.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:03,409
It was a beautiful morning
2
00:00:03,410 --> 00:00:05,120
in East Texas.
3
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,159
The kind of morning that
made you want to get up,
4
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,310
get dressed and test that acceleration
5
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:19,049
due to gravity does not
depend on an object's motion.
6
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:20,679
I love Saturdays.
7
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,859
The Earth causes the same
gravitational acceleration
8
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:24,860
of everything,
9
00:00:24,861 --> 00:00:27,819
even a doll and a flying Ping-Pong ball.
10
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:29,759
It's not often a man of science
11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,529
gets to say "Yippee
ki-yay," and mean it, but...
12
00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:35,429
Yippee ki-yay.
13
00:00:39,530 --> 00:00:40,760
Morning, Herschel.
14
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:43,110
Hey, George. Uh, you didn't see a dog
15
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,809
wandering around here, did you?
16
00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:46,529
No. Y'all get a dog?
17
00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,709
Uh, sort of. We took him
in after my brother-in-law
18
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:51,279
had to go live in a gated community.
19
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,179
Oh, that sounds nice, uh,
they got a no pets policy?
20
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,229
He's in jail, George.
21
00:00:55,230 --> 00:00:56,249
Right, sure.
22
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,519
In physics,
23
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,819
nothing feels better
24
00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:00,589
than predicting an outcome.
25
00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:02,329
I love predictability.
26
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:04,580
The force of gravity: predictable.
27
00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:06,989
Nuclear fusion: predictable.
28
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:09,319
My brother peeing in the shower:
29
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,489
repulsive, but predictable.
30
00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:13,379
What isn't predictable:
31
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,439
dogs.
32
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,780
I've always been terrified of dogs.
33
00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:21,570
To me, they're nothing but
big, furry question marks.
34
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,479
Question marks with teeth.
35
00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:33,669
In panic situations, I'd
often lose consciousness.
36
00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:37,619
This time, I only lost my voice.
37
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:38,960
Help.
38
00:01:38,970 --> 00:01:41,320
Please help.
39
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:58,940
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
40
00:01:58,950 --> 00:02:00,869
Uh, I was just admiring
41
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,480
Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick.
42
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,119
Smurf-a-loo-loo.
43
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,439
That's not my walking stick.
44
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,519
Lunch is ready.
45
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,889
Can you go get your brother?
46
00:02:08,890 --> 00:02:10,420
I'm watching TV.
47
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:11,820
Just go.
48
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:15,429
I have to do smurfing
everything around here.
49
00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:16,999
I heard that.
50
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,549
I said "smurfing."
51
00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,430
And I heard how you said it.
52
00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:24,300
She can cut her own crusts off.
53
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,169
Sheldon?
54
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,570
Who are you?
55
00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:30,350
You're so cute.
56
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,909
Be careful.
57
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:34,649
What are you doing up there?
58
00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:36,449
Staying alive.
59
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:37,869
Whose dog is this?
60
00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:39,789
I don't know. Get help.
61
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:41,350
Well, how did he get into the garage?
62
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,489
Please get help.
63
00:02:43,490 --> 00:02:44,620
Maybe we can keep it.
64
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:46,729
I'm begging you, get help now.
65
00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:49,459
First, I have to tell you something.
66
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,829
What?
67
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:52,730
Lunch is ready.
68
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:58,709
Will you look at that?
69
00:02:58,710 --> 00:03:00,390
What kind of dog chews through wood?
70
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,009
Y'all are feeding him, right?
71
00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,370
Maybe he's teething.
72
00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:04,690
You know, when Billy was little,
73
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,219
he chewed right through his playpen.
74
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,489
- No kidding?
- Only had three teeth.
75
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,369
Mostly gummed it.
76
00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:12,699
So how y'all want to fix it?
77
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,069
Well, I figure I'll patch it,
78
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,949
run some chicken wire
along the bottom...
79
00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:17,809
That way, he don't
chew through it again.
80
00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:20,709
Hello.
81
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:22,149
- Hey.
- Hey, Billy.
82
00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:25,059
Was this fence window always here?
83
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,550
No, son, that's a new fence window.
84
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,160
Anybody else getting dizzy?
85
00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:47,400
Why didn't you call for help?
86
00:03:47,410 --> 00:03:50,239
I tried, but no sound came out.
87
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,770
You poor thing.
88
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:53,319
It was very dirty up there.
89
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,849
Is cleaning the garage
your job or Dad's?
90
00:03:55,850 --> 00:03:57,169
Don't you worry about that.
91
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,509
Here, have some tea.
92
00:03:58,510 --> 00:04:00,079
- Chamomile?
- Yes.
93
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,119
One teaspoon of honey?
94
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,190
Yes.
95
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,589
An ice cube to cool it off?
96
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,249
I went with two today.
97
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:06,950
You've been through enough.
98
00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:13,229
I prefer one ice cube.
99
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:14,760
Drink it.
100
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,120
It's nice when the kids are in bed,
101
00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:22,439
and we can just hang out and relax.
102
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,409
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
103
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:27,940
I finally got him asleep.
104
00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:29,569
He's still pretty shook up.
105
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:30,749
Maybe having
106
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,719
this mutt next door won't be so bad.
107
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,749
Shelly could end up getting used to it.
108
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:35,949
That's true.
109
00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:37,259
Remember when he got all freaked out
110
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,029
by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt?
111
00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,620
Now he eats it no problem.
112
00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,360
He still makes me stir it.
113
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,499
Maybe you could start out
114
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,329
with a small pet, and work your way up.
115
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,429
Like a turtle.
116
00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:48,260
He says they carry salmonella.
117
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:49,299
A gerbil?
118
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,130
Apparently, they caused the plague.
119
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:52,579
What about a bird?
120
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:53,769
Oh, I know that one.
121
00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:55,970
They'll steal his hair to make a nest.
122
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:12,969
Mom!
123
00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:16,440
At least this time, sound came out.
124
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,410
I call that progress.
125
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,250
What's going on?
126
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:32,819
Your dog got into our house.
127
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,180
How the hell did he do that?
128
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,969
He pushed in a screen window.
129
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,799
You think he chewed through
the fence again?
130
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,120
All I know is Sheldon's
yelling at the dog,
131
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,739
and Mary's yelling at me.
132
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:43,570
Now I'm looking at
you in your underwear.
133
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,659
Damn it, Herschel, what is going on?
134
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:48,269
- Oh, hey, George.
- Hey, Brenda.
135
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:49,909
Bucky got in their house.
136
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:50,919
That's funny.
137
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,889
It might be funny one
day, not right now.
138
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:55,240
Look, I'm real sorry, George.
139
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,209
I'll keep him tied up,
it won't happen again.
140
00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:58,710
Y'all have a good night.
141
00:05:58,720 --> 00:05:59,880
George!
142
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:01,869
You are not gonna believe this. Look.
143
00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,789
Their dog left a dead
squirrel in our living room.
144
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:07,069
Well, h-he is part hunting dog.
145
00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:08,659
I think that means he likes you.
146
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,619
I'm not interested
in winning his affection.
147
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,810
I'm interested in keeping dogs
and rodents outside of my home.
148
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:15,049
Well, now, hold on.
149
00:06:15,050 --> 00:06:16,429
How do we know it was Bucky that left
150
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:17,699
that squirrel in your house?
151
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,699
Maybe that squirrel was already there.
152
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:23,239
Why else would a dead
squirrel be in my living room?
153
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,009
I don't know what
kind of house you keep.
154
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:27,759
My house is immaculate.
155
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,279
- George, tell them.
- Uh...
156
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,890
She does keep a nice house.
157
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:33,349
Honey, it's a pretty
good chance it was Bucky.
158
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:35,669
- Whose side are you on?
- Yours, always yours.
159
00:06:35,670 --> 00:06:37,490
All right. Everyone's upset, it's late.
160
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,350
Maybe we should drop this for tonight?
161
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,889
That's a good idea. Okay.
162
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:42,760
You just keep your dog away from my son.
163
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,789
- There you go picking it up again.
- I am sorry,
164
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:46,159
but their dog broke into our home.
165
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,300
Something he probably
learned from your brother.
166
00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:49,539
How dare you.
167
00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:51,979
Okay, I think that's
a good stopping point.
168
00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:53,739
How do we know that your son didn't
169
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:56,939
lure Bucky in to perform weird
science experiments on him?
170
00:06:56,940 --> 00:07:00,270
My son was asleep in his bed,
and you have some nerve...
171
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,409
Oh, oh, oh! Oh!
172
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:05,010
Night, George!
173
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:06,110
Night!
174
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:12,350
I don't understand why that dog
175
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,989
is so interested in Sheldon.
176
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:16,559
Maybe Bucky likes the
way Sheldon smells?
177
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,490
Your brother washes
himself three times a day.
178
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,749
He has no smell.
179
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,649
Here we go: animal control.
180
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,980
Oh, no, no.
181
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:25,530
No, you don't want to go
calling animal control.
182
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:27,380
- Why not?
- Because,
183
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:30,069
you have to live next
door to these people.
184
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:34,209
They called the cops on Georgie
when he played music too loud.
185
00:07:34,210 --> 00:07:37,139
Maybe it was them, maybe it was me.
186
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,419
Anyway, the point is,
187
00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:39,650
you don't can't go throwing
188
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,119
gasoline on the fire.
189
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,419
Well, they started this fire,
190
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,119
and now, they're gonna get burned.
191
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,650
I believe you've had enough coffee.
192
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:49,630
Listen, why don't you
let me talk to Brenda,
193
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,029
and just smooth things out?
194
00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:52,529
Why do you think she'll listen to you?
195
00:07:52,530 --> 00:07:54,999
Because people like me more than you.
196
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,069
People like me.
197
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:59,299
I didn't say they don't,
they just like me more.
198
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,319
Anyway,
199
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,900
I see her all the time at bowling.
200
00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:03,669
I know how to handle her.
201
00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:04,909
Fine.
202
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:06,450
Thank you.
203
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,160
Plenty of people like me.
204
00:08:19,090 --> 00:08:21,219
Hey, Brenda, how's it going?
205
00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:24,729
Your daughter's a pain in my
ass, that's how it's going.
206
00:08:26,730 --> 00:08:28,219
You don't beat around the bush.
207
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:29,929
I've always liked that about you.
208
00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,899
Connie, I've had a long night.
209
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:34,499
Unless you're looking to
bowl, I don't want to hear it.
210
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:35,969
Aw, now, come on.
211
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:38,670
Let me buy you a drink,
and we'll talk about this.
212
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,139
I'm more on your side than you think.
213
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:42,240
Somehow,
214
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:44,609
- I doubt that.
- It's true.
215
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:48,380
Don't you think I realize
that Mary can be a bit...
216
00:08:48,390 --> 00:08:50,049
Of a self-righteous bitch?
217
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:53,140
I was gonna say "challenging,"
but sure, let's go with yours.
218
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:54,640
It's got a nice rhythm.
219
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:58,229
Mmm.
220
00:08:58,230 --> 00:08:59,790
Brenda, this is, by far,
221
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,399
the best bowling alley
margarita in town.
222
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,619
How long
223
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:06,019
you and Herschel been
married? 18, 19 years?
224
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:08,229
19, but it feels like 30.
225
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,969
Well, y'all are a great couple.
226
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:12,109
Eh.
227
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:13,639
I just wanted to thank you
228
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,379
for being so patient and kind
to my daughter and her family
229
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:17,809
since they moved in.
230
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:19,610
- It's nothing.
- No,
231
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,159
it needs to be said.
232
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,149
You know, Mary has a tough
job raising those three kids,
233
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:27,589
with one of them being,
you know, somewhat special.
234
00:09:27,590 --> 00:09:29,489
- I can see that.
- Yeah.
235
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:32,990
And having a kind neighbor makes
all the difference in the world.
236
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,259
Well, we try.
237
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:37,499
And I know you know how stressful it is,
238
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,369
seeing as how you have your own child
239
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,400
who is special in his own way.
240
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,109
What's that supposed to mean?
241
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:48,440
Well, I mean, hey, I know
Billy is a terrific little boy,
242
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,550
but I am sure he has
presented you and Herschel
243
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,179
with some challenges.
244
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,549
If there's a weird kid
in the neighborhood,
245
00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,039
it's your grandson.
246
00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,559
Now, hang on, I said
"special," not "weird."
247
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,759
I heard you.
248
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,089
I said "weird."
249
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,749
Okay, see now, Brenda,
250
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,899
you don't want to go
calling my grandson weird
251
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:09,499
when I've just treated you
to a margarita grande.
252
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,869
Well, I'm sorry, but you
shouldn't be inferring
253
00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,899
there's something wrong with my Billy.
254
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,000
Darlin', there's no inferring.
255
00:10:16,010 --> 00:10:17,939
I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt
256
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,140
eating his own belly button lint.
257
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,689
Really, Mom? This is
how you put out the fire?
258
00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:32,999
Well, at least she got the worst of it.
259
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,419
How you figure that?
260
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:37,190
I ripped a big patch
of hair out of her head.
261
00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:40,090
This will be healed in a week.
262
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,060
She will be wearing
a hat till Labor Day.
263
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:46,299
I want to be just like
you when I grow up.
264
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,000
- No, you don't.
- Pick again.
265
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:00,469
Excuse me, Ms. Hutchins?
266
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,630
Hey, Sheldon.
267
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,519
Can you recommend any
books on overcoming phobias?
268
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,939
That's in the self-help section.
269
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:09,770
Follow me, I have read them all.
270
00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:12,629
- Any phobia in particular?
- Dogs.
271
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,999
Ah, cynophobia. That's a good one.
272
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,409
Did you know there's
over 50 million dogs
273
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,189
just in the United States alone?
274
00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:21,230
That's 50 million too many.
275
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,309
Here. I read this one to
help with my haphephobia.
276
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:28,379
Ah, fear of being touched. I
have that, too. Was it useful?
277
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:31,929
Well, when someone's
interested in touching me,
278
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:33,510
we'll find out.
279
00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:37,679
The basic premise
280
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,409
of the book was that phobias
281
00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:41,859
were overcome by taking
incremental steps
282
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:44,329
toward confronting the
phobia in question.
283
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:47,499
In my case, that started
with watching a TV show
284
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,099
that was adored by
children around the world,
285
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:53,430
but for me, was the stuff of nightmares.
286
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,069
Scooby-Doo!
287
00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:59,160
The next step was to go face-to-face
288
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:01,830
with real dogs.
289
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,569
Albeit through a plate-glass window.
290
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:05,970
Okay, that's enough.
291
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:07,219
And finally,
292
00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:10,020
a close encounter of the third kind,
293
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:13,839
physical contact with a
member of the canine species.
294
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,180
Hello, I'd like to speak
with the veterinarian.
295
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,569
Well, I was hoping you
might have one or two dogs
296
00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:22,570
under anesthesia that
I might come by and pet.
297
00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:24,549
Sure, I'll hold.
298
00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:26,549
Who are you talking to?
299
00:12:26,550 --> 00:12:28,719
The Medford Veterinary Clinic.
300
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,899
Why?
301
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,619
I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs
302
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,719
before it affects our
family any further.
303
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,159
Oh, honey, you don't have to
worry about how it affects us.
304
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,829
Meemaw got punched in
the face because of me.
305
00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:43,839
No, that wasn't because
of you, and for the record,
306
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,039
your meemaw gets punched
in the face all the time.
307
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,579
Well, I still think I need to take
308
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,269
some sort of positive action.
309
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:51,360
- Hello?
- Yes, hello?
310
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,079
Oh, that's too bad.
311
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,590
How about a small fluffy one
that's recently died of old age?
312
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,219
Enough.
313
00:12:58,220 --> 00:13:00,920
Sorry.
314
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,449
Now, it says here in Mark 12:31
315
00:13:09,450 --> 00:13:11,469
that you should "Love your neighbor
316
00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:12,989
as yourself."
317
00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:15,959
Anybody like to take a
guess what that means? Missy?
318
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,990
It means to be nice to the
people who live next door.
319
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,129
That's right.
320
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:21,910
But everybody else can go to hell.
321
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,969
Okay, Missy, we don't use
that kind of language here.
322
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,990
And if you think about
it, in this world,
323
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:31,309
with all the ways we can travel,
everybody's your neighbor.
324
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,770
Yes, Sheldon.
325
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:34,339
How do we love our neighbors
326
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:36,179
when our moms hate each other?
327
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,410
- Who does your mom hate?
- Your mom.
328
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:41,229
Hey, my mom hates your mom. Small world.
329
00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:43,049
Okay, let's hang on a second.
330
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:44,719
My mom also hates their grandma.
331
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,429
'Cause she lost a fight to her.
332
00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:48,859
Nuh-uh, she won. She said so.
333
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,989
All right, stop. Let's stop.
334
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,129
Now this might be hard to understand,
335
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:55,169
but living a loving, Christian life
336
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:57,570
isn't always the easiest thing to do.
337
00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,169
Yes, Billy.
338
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:02,870
My mom's not crazy about you either.
339
00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:08,440
Just love your neighbor, 'kay?
340
00:14:08,450 --> 00:14:11,119
Now, I am more than willing
to look the other way
341
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,349
when my parishioners don't
get along with each other.
342
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:16,139
That sort of thing happens,
but when it becomes a problem
343
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:18,809
for the children, then
I have to intervene.
344
00:14:18,810 --> 00:14:20,989
There's no problem here,
345
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,359
other than these two thinking
that they're better than me.
346
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,759
I don't think it, I know it.
347
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,259
I gave your mother a good smacking.
348
00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:27,459
I can give you one, too.
349
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:29,799
That's big talk from
somebody with a comb-over.
350
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,069
Ladies.
351
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,230
Do I need to remind you
that we are Christians?
352
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,279
In all our behavior, in all our actions,
353
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,870
we must constantly ask
ourselves the question,
354
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,839
"What would Jesus do?"
355
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,109
Can I say something?
356
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,570
Would Jesus say it?
357
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:45,450
Never mind.
358
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,719
In my life,
359
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,489
I've often been accused of
being a physical coward,
360
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:55,740
and for the most part, those
accusations are correct.
361
00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:01,599
But there have been times
when I've shown great courage.
362
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,669
This was one of them.
363
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:07,339
Hello, Bucky.
364
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:11,809
Are you a good dog?
365
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:16,720
Please be a good dog.
366
00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:19,029
Please.
367
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:22,080
Now oftentimes, when
we don't like someone,
368
00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:24,419
what's happening is we
see something in them
369
00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:26,119
that we don't like in ourselves.
370
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,589
What are you saying?
371
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,789
Really? That was over your head?
372
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:32,059
I'm saying,
373
00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:34,329
y'all might have more
in common than you think.
374
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,669
Well, don't say both their
kids are "special."
375
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,080
She does not like that.
376
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,839
Okay.
377
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,570
Here we go.
378
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:49,580
Petting... the dog.
379
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,959
I'm doing it.
380
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,569
I'm petting a dog.
381
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,630
I've conquered my phobia.
382
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,239
You're a good boy. Yes, you are.
383
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,340
I'm sorry for the unkind
things I said to you.
384
00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:25,830
Me, too.
385
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,279
Connie?
386
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,049
What?
387
00:16:30,050 --> 00:16:32,150
Anything you'd like to say?
388
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,889
Not particularly.
389
00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:36,589
Mom.
390
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,090
Okay.
391
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,659
I'm sorry for the things I said,
392
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:45,660
and, you know, what happened
at the bowling alley.
393
00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:48,890
As am I.
394
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,139
Here.
395
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:54,290
I think this came out of your head.
396
00:16:58,110 --> 00:17:00,649
He licked me! He licked me!
397
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:02,349
The dog licked my tongue!
398
00:17:02,350 --> 00:17:04,009
I can still taste it!
399
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:07,450
Call 911!
400
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,670
I think Jesus might go check that out.
401
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,099
How's it going in there, baby?
402
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,839
Okay, but we're gonna
need more Listerine.
403
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:27,070
I'm proud of him for trying to
overcome that damn dog phobia.
404
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,820
You should tell him that.
405
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,319
Well, if he ever leaves
that bathroom, I will.
406
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,929
What I can't figure out is why
that dog is so drawn to Sheldon.
407
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:36,419
Beats me.
408
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,850
- You say his owner's in the slammer?
- Yeah.
409
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:40,929
Wonder what kind of fella he is.
410
00:18:04,610 --> 00:18:07,279
It's a mystery.
411
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,140
I guess we'll never know.
412
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,919
Hey, Moonpie.
413
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,479
I got you a little something to help you
414
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,829
get over your fear of animals.
415
00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:23,799
A tranquilizer gun?
416
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,710
A pet fish.
417
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:30,350
_
418
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,759
Why?
419
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,149
Well, I thought you could start
small and then work your way up.
420
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:38,029
Look, he's kind of cute.
421
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:42,849
He doesn't even care
that I'm here. I like him.
422
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:44,950
What are you gonna name him?
423
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,469
Fish.
424
00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:47,709
Fish?
425
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,760
I'm not ready to get attached.
426
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,270
Fish are kind of boring.
427
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,279
I know, isn't it great?
428
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,979
But you can't even pet 'em.
429
00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:59,989
Maybe we can.
430
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,650
Baby, what's wrong?
431
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:06,479
I tried to pet Fish!
Ah, he was so slimy!
432
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,629
Well, yeah, he's a fish.
433
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:12,129
I put my finger in the top of
the tank, then I touched him,
434
00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:13,260
and he bit me!
435
00:19:13,270 --> 00:19:15,069
Oh, I'm sure he didn't bite you.
436
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,199
I can't breathe.
437
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,939
His fish blood is mixing
with my human blood.
438
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,530
Maybe he was just trying
to give you a kiss.
439
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:25,139
No. He hates me. I never
want to see him again.
440
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:26,789
Oh, Sheldon, you're being silly.
441
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,620
Fish like this don't bite.
442
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,300
Look. See? He's harmless.
443
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:34,089
Son of a bitch!
444
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,700
Dad killed my fish!
445
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:36,770
George!
446
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:38,589
He'll be fine.
447
00:19:38,590 --> 00:19:40,890
Just got to put him back in the bowl.
448
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,200
Oh, George.
449
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,320
_
450
00:19:57,950 --> 00:20:03,040
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
31480
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.