All language subtitles for Sexo.Con.Amor.DVDRip.Castellano (www.TorrentSpain.com)

Look how wonderful.
Look how beautiful it is.

This is really a fine piece of meat.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Another postcard from Susan,
she sends you tons of love.

I'm nervous.

You're not the one taking the test.

What if he scores below average
and loses his scholarship?

We'll put him in a public school
and that's it.

No Emilio, you can't
play around with education.

"What is masturbation?"

Number 8?

"Flying a kite".

Hand in your tests please.

Good luck.
Thanks.

Bye, see you.

Tomas. Did your dad get back
from his trip yet?

- Yeah, last night.
- And is he coming to get you?

I hope so. Bye, teacher.

Bye, see you tomorrow.

Come on! Share it.

The letter from the Biennial arrived.

Great!

I hope you did better
than the others.

Tomas, son.

Hello, how did it go?

Good. What took you so long?

I got held up.

Wait for me just a minute...
I'll be right back.

I missed you, you jerk.

And here is the announcement
of the parent's meeting.

Both parents should come but if your
wife can't make it, that's OK.

Thanks...

Let's go, Tomas.

Good. Good bye, Miss. Thank you.

Bye...

Bye, Tomas.

- And when are you going?
- When are we going?

They sent me two tickets
so you have to come with me.

It's a complicated period at school.

So get someone to replace you.

I'll try.

I have to start painting like crazy.

Great, then!

Yeah, but...

still... I hate to leave you alone.
We won't see each other for a while.

Don't worry. Do your work
and I'll entertain myself.

If you said you'd get home early,
we'd better leave now.

Where to?

To a place where we can be
more comfortable.

To a motel?

Do you have a better idea?

If we start going to motels,
we'll never stop.

And I don't want to
cheat on Valentin like this.

But it's better than
making love in the car.

Yeah...

This is impossible.

We either do something
or I don't know...

Yeah, this is impossible.

Then that's it?

You know what I'd like?

To spend a whole night with you.

Good. We go?

But I told Valentin I'd be home early.

Fine! Home, then!

Waitress, the bill!

You are disgraceful. You just have me
to fool around with, jerk.

In any case, not to talk
about Quantum Physics.

And why not?

Tell me.
Do you find me a bit foolish?

Luisa...

You always have that face that says:
"The things this girl says."

Luisa please, if I find you...
that you are a woman...

- Incredible!
- Incredibly foolish!

Don't say foolish things.

- And you?
- Me what?

You said you were going to be late,
so I couldn't go to my dinner.

And now you're complaining
that I got home early?

It's not my fault you allow Gladys
to leave early every night.

She also has children
to take care of...

Come on. She's the maid.

Are you going to stay?

This is still my house, isn't it?

It says clearly that both parents
should be at the meeting.

You'll just have to close early
and come with me.

But how can they hold a meeting
to talk about these things?

You have to talk about
those things somewhere.

Those things you learn anywhere,
least of all in school.

Matias, stop rocking and finish
your homework, please.

Dad? What does "masturdate" mean?

See!

- You and your shouting on top of it.
- Better answer your son.

Look, it's very simple...

very natural.

What are you doing?

I'm lathering up, can't you see?

Jerk, you've got an erection.
You're masturbating!

Matias will hear you!

Matias!

And it's... when you

give yourself pleasure...

...sexual.

Do you understand?

It's when you grab yourself here
and produce pleasure. Understand?

Ah! Like...

jerking off!

That's it...
the scientific name for "jerking off".

I blew it!

Don't get crazy. No.

Yes...

What are you doing, you jerk?

- Slowly, it hurts you know.
- Yeah... yeah... just the tip.

Carefully, OK? There, oh shit!
No... you jerk... get out!

No, I can't.

I'm not even a little wet,
you understand?

The same shit again.

What do you want from me?
Women take more time to get aroused.

Everybody knows that.

Fine, I give you caresses, kisses.
I take my time, don't I?

Not enough.
I'd like it if it were more...

I don't know... more delicate,
slower, more...

You don't get aroused with me
that's what it is!

Don't be a jerk!

And what do you want me to think?

I've been putting on a circus
for over a year to get in.

I give up. I'm gonna turn
into a professional wanker.

That's it!

Enough.

No, Maca, for goodness sakes.
Don't turn off the TV...

- Don't be like that...
- No, no...

No tickling, no!

A little kiss... look, who's that there?
Who is it?

He's dying of hunger.

OK give him something to eat,
but slowly OK, careful?

Careful Emilio, that's not slow...

- But no...
- Just the tip...

Wait, little by little.
Shit, you jerk... you're hurting me!

So things are still bad.

Monica and I don't even speak.
Better that way.

And... where are you sleeping?

On a mattress in the studio.

What a drag...

Now that Valentin is going away,
we could spend a night together...

Let's see each other
after the meeting?

I'll try.

Hello, good evening. Come on in.

We haven't seen each other for a while.

That's a lie.

I mean all of each other.

Jorge! How are you?

- Fine...
- Great!

That's the new teacher?

Yeah... Luisa.

She's good looking, man.

There should be at least
three couples in a group.

I hope we can share the
group's thoughts afterwards.

Ah, teacher, come sit with us.

Jorge came alone so...
join us.

Sure, I need to sit
somewhere anyway.

You know what, teacher?
You two make a great couple.

You think so?

Ah, I see that I'm in
with a group of troublemakers.

Wait a minute,
I was saying like father and daughter.

Good. With sex they say the more
experience you have the better.

Then you have a chance.

OK, teacher, enough.

OK, let's get serious.
We need to set an example.

Wait a minute.
If we are going to talk about sex,

we can't be so serious.
Sex is a party, a game...

but we're so serious
we don't know how to make love.

Where do you get that idea?

The point is that the school
wants to deal

with the topic of sex
with the parents' approval.

So I need to know if this topic
is of interest to you and why.

- Yeah, sure it's important...
- Why?

Well, because of the
way things are now because...

before, everything was slower.
We were more naive.

Imagine I lost my virginity
when I was nineteen.

And you...
you think that seems naive?

Nowadays everyone
is having sex at fifteen.

How terrible!

How terrible? For you to have
sex is like torture?

Look, I lost my virginity at
fourteen and I think it's great!

It's pure practice!

The more sex you have,
and the sooner you start, the better.

According to you, the school field trip
should be to a massage parlor?

It seems we aren't
making much progress here.

I would prefer that those
who haven't spoken get a chance.

- Me?
- Yes.

What do you think?
Are these meetings important?

Yes.

Yeah, they're important because...

Where are they going to learn,
in the street? No.

Sex is pure practice. You can't
learn it in class. Sorry, teacher.

Let's hear from the others please.

- Me?
- Yes.

You're supposed to be
an authority on the subject.

- I loved your last book.
- Yes? You liked it?

She died laughing reading it.

- What's it called?
- "VIRTUAL SEX AND REAL LOVE"

That's it.

I believe in love.

I think that sex is an extra,

and when I have sex with
the person I love...

it's... it's the greatest...

and when both things come together,
it's the best.

Excuse me Jorge, but I think
it's a cultural problem.

Sex is sex and love is love.
They can come together or separately.

Which doesn't mean to come together
or separately is better or worse.

You talk like you
spend your day on this.

I love to have sex
as often as possible.

That's true. It gets annoying.

But that's very good.
There you see love.

Because when the love is gone
from a couple, so is the sex.

Jerk!

I'm telling you, things are really bad
with my wife right now.

Since our problems started, forget it.
Each to their own side of the bed.

That's why I say:

When there's no more love,
there's no more sex...

The truth is that when
there's no more love, it's all over.

Too bad.

What a drag.

Don't worry. Because...

sometimes you go through difficult
times, but you can move on.

Right now with Emilio we are going
through a very delicate situation.

Yeah?

Yeah. We are going
through a very delicate situation.

I had to come here to find out.

Don't act like that.

You know it isn't normal.

I had no idea.
You should have told me first?

So you think we're fine?

Well, you're never really fine.

But for a marriage I think it's
acceptable enough.

You think it's acceptable to have found
my husband masturbating in the shower?

You can't talk
about these things in public.

But we're talking about sex.

Tell them that you haven't
let me enter you for a year.

You know perfectly well why.

- I have no idea. OK?
- Because it hurts.

Because you don't have
the least bit of gentleness!

And you have no respect for intimacy!

We'd better start answering
the questionnaire.

In any case, I see that
this topic concerns us all.

- Can I help you give them out?
- Good, thanks.

Excuse me.

- Father! Hello.
- I came a bit early.

No problem.

Are we going
to have a baptism here?

I would like to introduce Father Mario.
He teaches a course on religion.

I thought it would be interesting to
hear the church's vision on this point.

Great, hello, good evening.

Good evening.

Excuse me teacher and excuse me Father,
but isn't it true

that priests take a vow of chastity.

How can someone talk about something
he doesn't know anything about?

I insist in this area
practice is fundamental.

- Alvaro, please.
- With all due respect...

Excuse me, I don't know
what religion you are,

but some people in this room would
like to hear what the Father has to say.

Hear what?

The church's position is clear.
Sex is only for reproduction.

Isn't that so, Father? Only when
you are married by the church.

Because if not,
then forget the whole thing.

Listen, we don't need to
get so hotheaded here!

I don't know what problem you have
with the international organization

this priest belongs to,
but we're all mature adults here,

and we're open to hear different
visions with respect to an idea.

As Ludovico Croce says,

"Non aviate chialdi

chi no ha riscoldi."

That means, there's nothing worse than
a blind person who doesn't want to see.

If it interests you, fine!

For me, as Italo Calvino says,

"I'm going to have a glass of wine."

Alvaro, where are you going?

It bores me to have to hear this priest.

You could have
agreed before calling me.

I'm sorry.

Let's take
a fifteen minute break

so you can go to the bathroom,
smoke a cigarette, have a coffee...

we'll meet in fifteen minutes,
thank you.

Emilio...

Emilio is there a pub
or a little bar around here?

Like for...

To have a drink.

Yes.

Let's go?

Those meetings last forever...
we'll pick them up afterwards.

Your wife's comment really hurt, huh!

No.

What happened is that I don't
remember what it is to make love.

With your wife. But then you can
get even at your local branch, no?

What local branch
are you talking about?

You're telling me you don't have
a girlfriend to unload on.

A little friend?
A lover!

Sure.

Don't worry. I'm not a snitch.

No... How could I have a lover!

Even when waitresses serve me
in short skirts, I feel guilty.

For what?

Guilty for having a dick?

Guilty for being a man?
Guilty for what?

Guilty for cheating on my wife.

But women know. Think your wife
doesn't know you've had lovers?

But I haven't.

Then you're wasting time.

Women know that masculine fidelity
is genetically impossible.

This doesn't mean you
don't love your wife but...

Emilio look, women ovulate
only once a month...

but men produce millions of sperm,

millions just fighting
to have a shot at it.

Give me another drink!

I don't know how you stand it!

Just jerking off.

Jerking off helps but...

it's different.
Every chick is different.

There are no two clitorises alike.
Every little pussy is unique.

I always do a mental exercise.

Looking at a woman's hands,
I try to imagine what her pussy is like.

Does it work?

Practically... always.

- Her hands?
- The hands... delicate hands,

long fingers, well-kept nails,

they're a little clam
with a pointed clitoris

and narrow inside

like a cone...
and with every orgasm,

they tighten at the base of the dick,

pudgy hands, round fingers
and nails that are bitten,

they correspond to a clitoris like this

bulkier, with thick juicy lips.

What's with you?

Pleasure with every chick
is different.

That's why I say,
practice is fundamental,

practice, practice, practice.

Shit! This woman.

Another girlfriend?

A crazy woman.

And this is important Emilio. Never...

but never, get involved
with a crazy one.

I hope you'll come
to the second meeting.

Absolutely, and please excuse
our little scene...

- Good night.
- Good luck.

- I felt so bad afterward.
- Your gynecologist. What did he say?

Nothing, he went to work in Temuco.
So I don't have one, but I need one.

I have a great one. I can give you
his phone number if you want.

Yeah, thanks.

Father! A word please, excuse me.

I wanted to talk with you.
My son, Matias, was...

- Oh shit... damn!
- Sorry, sorry!

No... no, it's fine, my darling
it was nothing.

- Did I squish your boob?
- Yeah!

Fuck!

No, no it's OK... fuck!

What happened?

Nothing...
this is getting us nowhere.

No... It can't go on like this.
This mess isn't serious.

I love you.

Hello, gorgeous.

I don't recommend
you go to your office.

There's a crazy stewardess
making a scene.

I better go with you.

It seems like you're scared.

It's that you don't know her.

You've been working here
like two weeks, no?

Yeah.

And we still
haven't had a drink together.

We could have lunch tomorrow.

Alvaro!

At last I found you, darling.

Excuse me but your secretary
is a classless bitch.

- What are you doing here?
- Honey, you knew I was arriving today.

None of this "honey" business.
You can't just appear at my office.

I know but I had to see you...

I brought you a gift, look!

Sergio, sir, how are you?

It's that way... Miss, there.

- Where?
- At the end, at the end.

Hold my bag.

Get in there... get in!

No, no... Angelica look.

Try to understand, what happened.

Really, it was great.
We had a good time.

But it's over, you understand?
It's over and life goes on.

I am happily married,
you have a boyfriend...

No, no... we broke up.

Ah, well... I'm sorry!

I broke up with him for you!
I love you!

You say you love me?
No Angelica love is something else.

We were horny.

We got off the plane but from there
to love there is an abyss.

Don't be cruel.
I'll do anything for you!

I realize that... but understand!

I have a wife who's pregnant,
I have a daughter...

- You don't love her.
- But of course I love her!

If you did, you wouldn't have
gotten involved with me.

I'd have to be a eunuch
not to get involved with you.

I was leaving and you invited me in.
What did you want me to do? Play chess?

No, but don't cry...

you are a wonderful woman really!

Don't say anymore...
I get it... how embarrassing.

Take this.
I don't have any use for it.

It's not such a big deal.

No, Angelica...

Angelica, I have to get home.

Don't continue like this,
if we go on, we won't be able to stop.

Ouch! You bit me!

Renata?

- Do you like Renata?
- Which Renata?

Silly.

If it's a girl.

Ah! No, no, it's going to be a boy.

The ultrasound might be wrong.

Angelica?

"SEXUAL LIFE, MASTURBATION
AND MALE SEXUAL PLEASURE".

Maca?

Ah, you're taking a bath.

A friend recommended it.

She told me that if I took
a nice hot bath before bed...

I could get relaxed, let's see if...

You talk about this at school
and to your friends about it.

Come on, how long are you
going to be angry? I said I was sorry.

I was coming to talk
about something else.

The school and phone bill
comes to $150,000 pesos.

Or we cut the phone or we take
Matias out of that school.

Fine! Take him out of school.

Condemn him to work in a
butcher shop the rest of his life.

What's so bad about that?

Come on...

- Come over here.
- What for?

It's worth your while.
Come on over.

I know why you're mad.

Is this a joke?

No.

Do you like it?

Yeah, yeah, keep going.

Are you still mad?

Sweetheart, keep going.

- Do you forgive me?
- Yes, honey.

Wait, wait!

No, it's fine like this.
What are you doing?

Wait...

But Emilio, calm down, listen...
wait, listen... gentle.

Slowly... slowly...

Hold on. You're going crazy. You jerk,
you got in with your shoes on!

- So what.
- With your good shoes!

You're squishing me... get out!

You fuss about everything!

How can you get in with your clothes!

Ah, this has gone to hell.

Can't you be gentle
for once in your life?

Don't go into the bedroom wet.
I just waxed the floor!

"Happy Hour, later"?

"I can't today.
I'm going out with my wife".

I wanted to say goodbye...

Now that I know I'll never have you,
I'd rather leave it like this.

Yes, yes I'm fine,

better than ever,

and I'm going to take a bath.

My last bath.

Drunk? No, no!

You know I never mix drink
with pills.

How many?

How many?

Three...

no, not three pills...
three bottles, you jerk.

If you don't
have me in your heart,

at least you'll
have me on your conscience.

I love you.

I love you so.

Bastard that I love you so much.

Sorry, but I can't keep talking,

my bath is overflowing...

Angelica?

Finally.

She's sleeping?

Yes, but it was difficult.
She didn't want me to go.

- Alvaro's here?
- He called.

He called?

He said to excuse him that he
was going to arrive late.

That afterwards,
he was going to explain.

So I'm going to bed.

- Good night.
- Bye, Marta. Go ahead.

And doctor how is she?

She's OK.

Never again, God,

never again.

Your Dad's already outside,
wait a minute.

We're going to be late.

Look at your shirt.
Listen Emilio!

- What?
- Susan called last night.

And?

She arrives at five at the station.
Can you go pick her up?

- Me!
- Yes.

I have to see the gynecologist,
to check out the problem!

Check your head instead!

Difficult, jerk...

- Wait, wait!
- No, I can't leave the store alone!

Come on Emilio,
can you go or not?

- Why tell me this now?
- Last night I couldn't even talk to you.

She should take the subway.

No Emilio, when you went to France,
they picked you up at the airport.

Don't be so ungrateful.
They treated you like a prince!

Fine... I'll go, I'll go...

Good, bye son, bye honey,
have a good day.

Concentrate on your test
so that you get a good grade.

Don't think about other stuff.
The TV or the girl next door.

Bye!

Your smock!

Come my love, put it there.

Three wishes.

Let's see if Mommy can still blow.

She still blows! Bravo!

Beautiful, thank you!

Come and I'll give you your gift.

- Keep your comments to yourself.
- Don't fight with me.

I don't know how I stand you.

Because you're an angel.

A gift. You at least found the perfume
I asked you for.

I think so.

I'm sure you sent
your secretary to buy it.

Yes... but

wait a minute.
I have another gift.

Flowers.

And this?

- Is it a poem?
- No,

it's my new schedule,
I decided to take prenatal leave.

Let's see. Really?

What's this that you're
going to arrive home early every night?

Well, all, no.

I still have
my free slot just in case.

Today's Man, of all the
different forms of love

has been trapped
between two options.

One, fidelity
like an eternal condemnation.

Two, infidelity like a dark

and guilty passageway
to our true instincts.

Nevertheless, of all
the forms of sex,

we'd like to believe
in sex with love,

as if it were the point

where the body meets the soul.

- I can't find the keys, Chamorro!
- But if you opened in the morning.

Here they are.

- And you aren't coming back?
- No, I'm not.

Listen, I left everything
ready at home.

But remember to go
pick up Susie at five.

You know I hate to leave
the store alone.

Fine, I won't go to the gynecologist
and we'll continue with this problem!

Yeah and you're going to
continue blabbing about it.

It was just like in the movies.

Hurry up, I'm going to catch you.

Watch out with the...

My period is late.

- What?
- I said I'm late.

Shit!

But sometimes it just happens.

And whose would the
little tadpole be?

If there is one, it's yours!

Shit!

Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah.

Fuck!

Can you imagine?

Fuck. Better not to.

You know what. Let's get off this.

Straight home.

Straight home.

Shit.

Straight home.

Enough!

Patty!

Patty!

Patricia.

- Alvaro!
- I saw you and...

you are so beautiful.

It's love.

Still with your boyfriend?

Yeah and Elena?
The baby must be due any minute.

Yeah, sure...

she still has one more month.

Tell her that we miss her at the office.

I miss you.

Bye.

Sometimes I wish someone would
go the distance for me.

And me?

- You have your wife.
- You have Valentin.

Yeah, but Valentin is like a little boy.
I love him, but he's a child.

I really love you.

But you don't take me seriously.

And what do you want from me?

Adopt Valentin and form a family?

No.

But how long
can we go on like this?

Better not to think about it now.

Please, go right ahead,
make yourself at home.

- I'm going to pee in my pants.
- Don't do it here, Maca just waxed.

Where's the bathroom?

"Le toilette est..."

Oh, I forget. It's right there.

- Uncle?
- Yes?

When did you come to France?

For the World Cup, I guess in 98'.

I remember.

Remember you were at
my 15th birthday party?

Of course I do.

Want to know something?

I was madly in love with you!

You're kidding! I had no idea.

I don't believe you.
I think you wanted something to happen.

- Where's my aunt?
- She's at the doctor.

Don't worry, it's no big deal.

Come on in, sweetheart,
right in here.

Dyspareunia.

It's a medical term, don't worry.
How's Luisita? Tell me.

I don't know her very well.
She's my son's teacher.

I thought you two were friends.

We hardly know each other.
Plus, she's new at the school.

I've been Luisa's doctor
since she was 18, imagine.

You know her inside and out.

I get the impression
she's good as a teacher, no?

Yeah, she's great.

Your son must be happy with her.

Does that hurt?

Good, doesn't hurt a bit, right?

No.

Good, very good.
Cervix is normal.

No visible inflammation.

You seem to be tip-top,

in excellent shape.

It's incredible
when there's only one kid.

I have a friend with just one son,

and they've got him so spoiled
that his nickname is the Emperor.

That tells you
pretty much everything.

I'm going to do a transvaginal
ultrasound. Have you had one before?

Yes. I mean, no. But it's fine.

It's a very simple test to make
sure there's nothing wrong.

Relax, everything's fine,
perfectly normal. Nice and easy.

Does that hurt?

Good. Very good.

Here you can see on the screen...

the uterus.

It looks just fine, see,
perfect, normal morphology,

normal size.

The left ovary is always a little bit
hidden? Right there. Let's see now,

here it is, it's coming into view.

It's very good.

Leave it a bit more!

You can get dressed now, please.

So, your exam
is absolutely normal,

and in addition there was no discomfort.

No, on the contrary!

I'm going to prescribe a lubricant
just in case.

Here's one you can take with you.

So how do I apply it?

I'll figure it out at home.

It doesn't say anything.

What do you mean
it doesn't say anything?

No, nothing.

I think you should just
put a good amount right up in there.

OK.

Wait. Better yet, why don't
you put some on your peter?

Right.

Hold on, for!

What's wrong?

Susan.

She might hear us.

- Who cares?
- I do.

OK.

Clean up.

No, I don't want to, I'm tired.
I don't want to.

C'mon, c'mon, over here.

- What's going on?
- Sit down here.

OK. I have a surprise for you.

- If it's something to eat, I'm not hungry.
No!

A picture, all this show
for a picture, please!

This isn't just any picture.

- Now close your eyes.
- No, just let me see it!

Just a second, what's the rush?
Close your eyes.

OK my eyes are closed.

Hurry up, I'm falling asleep.

OK. Almost ready.

Open.

Do you like it?

What are you up to?

- A mess.
- With whom?

With myself.

Will you ever be back?

I'm here, aren't I?

You have to pay attention in math class,
where we're not doing so well.

Good morning, Jos, Alfredo. So... OK.

Bye. Have a good day.

- Hello.
- Hello, precious.

Can I talk to you?
Are you in a hurry?

No, I'm going home to sleep a little.

- Ah, still tired?
- Yes.

On top of that, last night
I had a double.

A double?

Yeah, yeah, Monica started getting
a little friendly, so...

And how was it?

Good...

Well, it was a bit strange.

Since I've been with you
I haven't touched her.

Right, supposedly nothing
was going on there, right?

Luisa! Monica is still my wife.

I had a double myself.

Oh, really?

And how was it?

Excellent!

So what did you want to tell me?

Nothing.

You're jealous.

Don't be silly.

I'm not silly!

Naive, maybe.

Know what? I'll call you later.

Hello. Hello.

Excuse me... sorry.

Eli!

Hello.

Here.

For me?

Sorry it's been opened.
The fact is, it was for my wife,

but she didn't like it.
If you don't mind...

Hey, but do you realize
how much this perfume costs!

Thank you, Alvaro,
but I can't accept this.

- Don't you like it?
- No, no, it's not that, I adore it.

So it's yours.

Thank you.

Lunch later?

Delicious! What did you say
it was called?

"Sake".

I like it because it goes in sort of hot,
opens up your throat a little.

I like... your hands.

These long fingers...

I imagine...

Eli, you're driving me crazy.

Let's go have dessert in Vi'a?
Waiter! The bill, please.

We'll take the car, and in an hour
we'll be standing by the sea.

But I have to work now.

And tonight?

Tonight what?

Tonight...

They told me you were fresh,
but this is the limit.

What do you mean fresh?

No, no! But they've also told me
really nice things about you.

Really? Like what?

Seems you're an ace in bed.
You have a great reputation.

Look Eli, I don't know
about reputations,

or if I'm good in the sack,
but with you,

I swear I'll be the best there is!
Let me have an hour,

tonight, let's see each other tonight.

Shit.

No, tonight I can't,

but if I put this over here...

I'll use the free slot.

So?

"SEX LIFE: THE PLEASURE
OF FEMALE MASTURBATION"

I can't come to the phone right now,

so leave your name
and number after the beep. Thanks.

Luisa, I've been looking for you.

I want to know what's going on.

Please call me.

Give me another.

No, I insist that
I am a defender of marriage.

"Every ram with his ewe."

Thank God I found mine,
who's an angel, a real angel.

I swear if it weren't for her,
I'd be under a bridge somewhere,

a wreck,
drinking wine out of a box.

Not to mention kids.
Do you have kids?

No.

When you do, you'll see.

Kids need a family.

Fidelity is another story,
it's strictly cultural.

Think about chicks,
poor chicks, man.

In this country two out of three guys
are premature ejaculators!

Imagine the number of unhappy chicks
running around out there.

For any guy who can screw
more or less decently, this is paradise!

This shit is a public health issue!

Just because the chick's married
and all in love with some guy

doesn't mean she can't have an orgasm.

Hello!

Of course I'm waiting for you.

A long time.

What do you mean you can't?

Fuck! No, but I'll die if you
leave me hanging like this.

No, it's not just being horny.

I mean, I am horny,
but I'm horny for you.

No, don't jerk me around.
You can't do this to me.

OK.

OK.

Bye.
No I'm not angry.

Really.

Yeah. Bye.

Shit!

- You?
- Hello.

Felipe, this is Alvaro.
I've told you about him, remember?

Yeah, sure.

Hi Alvaro, how's it going?
How are you, nice to meet you.

Hello.

I didn't know I was so famous.

He's my psychoanalyst.

Is he good?

Good at what?

OK. I'd better go.

Doctor's visit?

Yeah.

But one's enough, isn't it?

Maybe the three of us...

Better not.

Bye.

Come, come!

- Wait... wait...
- Come, come here.

- Fuck!
- What's wrong?

- I had some condoms here.
- No... forget them.

Without one?

Yeah, it's nicer.
Anyway, I'm due for my period.

No, what if I get the tricho-tricho,
tricho-whatever-it-is...

Trichomoniasis.

Hey, I think it's gone.

And what if you get pregnant?

Here it is.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

OK, I'll take it off.

OK!

Now what?

Why don't you want me
to get pregnant?

Do you want to?

I don't know.

Why not?

Well, I don't know.

Just when everything's going well,
it feels like not the right time.

Is it because of my trip?

No.

Do you want me not to go?

No. It's not that.

You don't want to talk?

No. I don't want to.

Elena?

Elena?

Bye, thanks. I liked the movie.

- Right, I'll call you tomorrow.
- OK.

Alvaro!

Hi.

Elena?

I thought you were
coming home late.

Oh, yeah.

Right, actually I thought
I would be getting home around now.

Isn't it a little late
for a pregnant woman?

- Where were you?
- I went out.

I went to the movies.

Finished late, eh?

Afterwards, we went to eat something.

I went with a guy I know.

You don't have to explain.
I was worried, that's all.

You could have called my cell phone.

I did, but I only got the recording.

You're right.
I had it turned off in the cinema,

and then I forgot to
turn it back on.

- Are you mad?
- No.

Come to bed.

Put it right in, no problem.

A little bit more.

Don't take it out!
Don't take it out!

Damn, you moved away.
Maca, what's the matter?

No, it's just that...

I think I put too much cream on the
papayas, and now I have a stomach ache.

Do you want some herb tea?

Good idea, please.

- Thanks for the invitation.
- Whenever you want.

- I liked the movie.
- Really good.

- Did you like it?
- I loved it, but you were even better.

OK, see you later. Bye.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Really good, you were much better.
You're so hot.

- Bye.
- See you.

You're up?

Why so early?

I'm in a pinch, gotta finish
three pictures before the trip.

What's all this?

It's the medicine for the trichomonas,
they're vaginal capsules.

So when are you going to have
a healthy pussy?

Oh, what a crude...
I'd like to see you deal with this!

And don't say "pussy,"
it sounds horrible.

And say what? Vagina?

- I don't know... say "bunny".
- Oh, how sweet, "bunny".

Vulva?

Vulva... gross.

Now that sounds awful.

Vulva...

Too much.

Come in.

Uncle,
can you take me downtown?

If you hurry, yes.
I'm leaving right now.

Do I have time for a quick shower?

I guess so.

- Hello.
- Hello, I'm late.

I've been calling you.
What's going on?

Nothing, nothing is going on.
I have to go.

Hey, not the indifferent treatment.
Please, anything but that.

That's the only thing I ask of you.

I really have to go in now.
We'll talk later.

- But when?
- I don't know. I'll call you.

No, she's not in. Who's calling?

Hey, how're you doing?
Yeah, it's me.

I need you to do me a big one.

I need the name
of one of your subscribers.

It's got to be one of your cell phones.

Yeah, I know it's private,
otherwise I wouldn't have to ask you.

Write it down.

Bye.

Here it is: 8-7,

5-9,

8-7.

OK, man, when you
have something, call me. Bye.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Sorry.

You want to drive me crazy?
I've figured out your tactics.

I swear I wanted to go.

Want to go to lunch?

Ah, right.

Better take advantage of lunch hour.

- What if someone comes?
- No, nobody will.

Did you get it?

What?

No, I'm playing tennis.

What's his name?

Carlos Rojas.

I owe you one, buddy.

What game?

Oh, The tennis game.
Good, I'm a set ahead.

OK, chum. Thanks, bye.

- What are you doing?
- Just checking something out.

C'mon, people are
coming back from lunch.

OK, OK, OK.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry,
but my mind is kind of elsewhere.

Let's see... wait, wait... there.

Still, it was good, wasn't it?

Hey.

Shit, this is full of Carlos Rojas's.

Hello.

Hello! I'm waiting for Valentin.

He went out.

Yes, but he'll be back.

You're Luisa?

Yes.

I recognized you from the photo.

Right.

And you?

Excuse me.

Hello? Yes, speaking.

Yes, they were supposed to have
some tests for me in the morning.

I'm not interested in
what happened at the lab.

Just send the results
to the address I left with you,

so I don't have to go
over there again.

Yes, to the school... that's right.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Nice.

Yes, he's good.

I like Valentin.

- As a painter.
- I'm sure.

What bad luck.
OK, let's see...

I have nothing.

6. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Central Station. How much?

$5,500.

Charge him more.

What do you mean charge him more?

OK, here's your money, take it.

OK, lady, your turn.
Let's see if you can do better.

Do it again, but not so hard.

Another go.

Throw them again.
As hard as you want, I'll stop them.

Dad, let's play something else.

Once this game is over
you're going to bed.

Come to me, baby.

Not yet, not yet.

No!

Piece of shit two-dollar
cocksucking whore, two-bit cunt,

stupid bitch, motherfucking whore,
your grandmother's a whore.

Bad person, bad person!
Scum-sucking bitch.

Streetwalking piece of ass.

Heartless cunt bitch!

Elena?

Yes?

Who is Carlos Rojas?

Carlos Rojas?

An old college friend.

Why?

Who went to the movies
with you the other day?

Yes.

How long have you been seeing him?

How long?

Don't shout at me.

I'm not shouting. How long?

I don't know, what of it?
We went out a couple of times.

We went to the movies,
we had lunch,

coffee.

A couple means twice.

Coffee, movies, lunch, that's three.

Alvaro...

- How long have you been seeing him?
- Stop it.

Sorry, but it's exasperating that you
can't answer such a simple question.

Nothing's going on, right?

- Of course not!
- Then why don't you answer me?

- We went out a couple of times.
- "Couple" of times.

Since we had our class reunion
a while back...

In August?

I think so.

When I was away?

Probably.

Damn it, don't be so vague!
Yes or no, in August, yes or no?

Alvaro, I'm pregnant.

I know that!
And according to my calculations,

you got pregnant just around the time
I was on a trip. In August!

What happened
after the class reunion?

You had a couple of drinks?

You recalled a couple of sweet memories?
You knocked it off a couple of times?

But the couple of partiers
forgot to use condoms.

But Mr. Cuckold, Alvaro Frias,
will take care of the baby!

Will you to take me to McDonald's?

What do you want,
an unhappy meal?

- It's called a happy meal.
- OK, OK.

Look, my teacher!

Yeah... wait a second.
I have to tell her something.

Luisa.

Luisa.

Hi. Can I give you a ride?

No, I'm almost there.

- I'll take you anyway.
- No.

So, are we finished?

I don't know.

We love each other, don't we?

I love you,
and I will always love you, but...

I can't continue like this.

Monica and I are separating.

It's not that... it's...
what we have...

is nothing.

But let's decide that together.

- Let's meet tonight.
- No, I can't.

We wanted to break it off
lots of times.

Yeah, but now I love you,
and there's no cure for that.

You're driving me crazy!

- It'll pass.
- No,

it won't just pass.

It all stays inside you.

Sooner or later you forget.

Bullshit we do!

We can't just choose what gets tossed
into the trash and what remains.

You don't understand anything,
you little bitch!

Do you know Carlos Rojas?

- What?
- I said do you know Carlos Rojas?

What are you talking about?

- What's going on?
- He's an architect, just like you.

You know him or not?

Lay off, what's wrong with you?
You're nuts!

Stop.

Leave me alone!

I've seen him a couple
of times in the office.

Why do I have to answer
your fucking questions?

Elena is two-timing me
with that cocksucker.

What are you talking about?
Carlitos is gay.

He's gay?

He's not interested in women at all.

Too bad, because he's quite a hunk.

Those types are the worst.

They get you women
to let down your guard,

they have a couple of whiskeys
and they turn bisexual, the cunts!

This motherfucker is dicking Elena
behind my back!

Stop talking horseshit,
you are out of your mind!

Shit, sorry...

I didn't mean it.

No.

You know what?

You've been playing around
your entire marriage. You deserve it!

- No.
- Yes.

No, because I love her.

You're a piece of shit!

- Patty...
- This was the last time.

Too bad it was also the worst
but it was the last.

Telephone!

Hello?

Fucking bum,
nothing better to do.

Sure you don't want to come along?

No, Aunt, I'm sure.

There's stuff for adults too.

No, I have clothes to wash.

Bye.

Bye, have fun, take care!

I hope they're dry for tomorrow.

Sure, they'll dry today, easily.

So, my dear, have you decided
where you're going to go?

Yes, to the Torres del Paine.

You don't slow down, do you?

You gotta do it all, uncle.
You only live once.

Uncle,

can you give me a hand?

Yeah, sure.

Let's see.

This is it.

Sometimes when it is too full,
it won't run.

If you take a little out... I...

Monica.

I thought you were asleep.

I was leaving you a note.
You don't have to pick up Tomas.

Tomas?

I booked him on the school bus.

I want you to leave.

Monica, I was thinking that...

I really want you to go.

Please just leave.

Thanks.

Fucking faggot. That can't be him.

Why does everything get lost
in this house?

Did you look in the first-aid kit?

I told you I did already.

What's wrong?

Susan must have taken it by mistake!

How embarrassing, Emilio!

Oh, don't be a goose,
keep looking for it.

What? Is that it?

I don't know, let's see...

Balls! My socks, my yellow socks.

Here they are!

No, Maca. Maquita don't.

No honey, it doesn't matter.

Don't cry over it.

Tomorrow I'll buy you
a ton of that stuff, OK?

OK, baby? Don't cry about it.

I love you, Maquita!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

What's this fag doing in my house?

Take it easy,
you'll wake everyone.

Get out, motherfucker!

Motherfucker!

What's going on here? My God!

Nothing, madam, go back to bed.

Alvaro!

What is this queer doing in my house?

Go to bed, Elena, I'll talk to him.

I'll talk to him, I'll talk to him.
I'm going to kill you, buttfucker!

Go back to bed, madam, go to bed!

You told her, right?
You told her, you fag.

I didn't tell her anything, asshole.

Really?

So what are you doing sleeping
in my living room? Asshole.

Your wife is about to give birth.
She wasn't sure you'd be here.

Someone had to stay with her, right?

Shit, when I saw you two there,

I couldn't fucking believe it, man.

Carlos Rojas?

You're the only guy I ever fucked,
and I didn't even know your name.

So now you see
what an ingrate you are?

Anyway, I put it right up you,
fucking faggot.

I didn't feel a thing.

Oh yeah? So why did
you shout like a stuck pig?

Maybe it was the way
you kissed me on the back.

Shit, was I drunk.

Are you such a little man
that you have to hide behind a bottle?

What am I going to do?

Go to bed, I'd say.

Sure, so in the morning

all three of us can have breakfast
like a happy little family.

No!

I'm leaving, man.

So, I believe that these meetings
have been quite beneficial

and I want to let you know
that I'm going to miss a few days

because I'm going to Sao Paulo.

So, that's why

I wanted to have this meeting so that
we can come to some conclusions.

Anyone want to start?

Miss,

do you believe that
you can teach how to love?

I don't. In any case,

whoever tried should know how to love.

Don't you think so?

Well,

the fact is...
I would like to say something.

It's been a little weird for me...
these meetings, because...

when I was a little kid,
I never talked

about this stuff with anybody.
I would hear people talk about it,

like, for example,
"Children come from love."

I didn't understand much then.
I mean...

from love or underneath a cabbage?

But I realized that the most important
thing in life is to learn to love.

Because...

life is like a big centrifuge

which grabs you and...

makes you spin around.

Don't get stuck on it.

Unselfish advice from an ex-lover?

From a friend.

Or do we have unfinished business?

Jorge...

It was a dream, a fantasy.
It wasn't going to work.

"I am a rebel,

"and a world without fantasies
is of no interest to me."

Right, another phony quote.

No, that's from Adriano Celentano.

Hi. Where's the fourth grade meeting?

Luisa's over there.

- Good thing you're here.
- What's happening?

She didn't want you to know, but...

- You're the husband after all.
- What is it? You scaring me.

Your wife went to the clinic, alone!

I don't know what to do, Mr. Alvaro.

I don't know what to do.

She didn't want me to tell you.

Take a deep breath.

Don't push yet.

The doctor said you were
about to deliver a Volkswagen.

Looks like it wants to come out,
now that daddy's here.

Nicolas, sit down please.

Pregnancy test positive

Miss, what does
"Children come from love" mean?

Take out your notebooks
for a dictation.

Hello. How are you?

How is it? Oh, how cute.

Spectacular!

Hello! What a darling!

Alvarito is his name.

Say hi to the ladies.

Don't run in the hallway.

We're going to have cake.