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1
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,853
So, I have
what I've been told
2
00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,796
is a moral dilemma.
3
00:00:08,303 --> 00:00:11,366
Whatever your gut is
telling you, do the opposite.
4
00:00:11,698 --> 00:00:13,806
That's what I thought at first,
so I switched,
5
00:00:13,874 --> 00:00:15,616
but that made me think
I should switch again.
6
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,096
So now where am I?
7
00:00:17,275 --> 00:00:18,426
I'm going back
to my phone.
8
00:00:18,494 --> 00:00:20,436
Give me a nudge
when she gets to it.
9
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,631
Patrick's getting married.
10
00:00:22,811 --> 00:00:24,702
And the phone is down.
11
00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:27,202
I feel like he and
Christy just broke up.
12
00:00:27,342 --> 00:00:28,374
They did.
13
00:00:28,508 --> 00:00:29,957
Men are pigs.
14
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:32,225
Unless he reconnected
with a long-lost love.
15
00:00:32,296 --> 00:00:34,100
In that case, aw.
16
00:00:34,663 --> 00:00:35,921
It's the fitness model.
17
00:00:36,008 --> 00:00:38,038
He hid the ring
in her "a-sigh" bowl.
18
00:00:38,145 --> 00:00:39,786
It thought it was "a-kye."
19
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,366
You're both wrong.
It's "ah-sigh-ee."
20
00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:44,710
Who cares how you say it?
21
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:45,960
It's just sherbert.
22
00:00:46,028 --> 00:00:47,975
Actually, it's "sher-bit."
23
00:00:48,725 --> 00:00:50,382
Okay, good-bye.
24
00:00:50,834 --> 00:00:51,956
Stop.
25
00:00:52,024 --> 00:00:53,358
How's Christy taking it?
26
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,100
She doesn't know.
27
00:00:55,172 --> 00:00:57,255
Welcome to the
aforementioned dilemma.
28
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,796
Why haven't you told her?
29
00:00:58,968 --> 00:01:01,626
Because Adam's taking me
away for a romantic weekend
30
00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:03,264
at a spa resort in Reno.
31
00:01:03,335 --> 00:01:04,428
- Ooh...
- Oh... - Oh...
32
00:01:04,548 --> 00:01:06,053
In theory, "Oh..."
33
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:08,702
But how can I enjoy
making sweet love to Adam
34
00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:10,070
in our room
with partial mountain view
35
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,928
when I keep getting FaceTimed
by a puffy-eyed Christy?
36
00:01:13,594 --> 00:01:14,944
Partial view?
37
00:01:15,085 --> 00:01:16,569
I thought he loved you.
38
00:01:17,108 --> 00:01:18,796
Go back to your phone.
39
00:01:19,522 --> 00:01:21,272
Bonnie, part of being a mother
40
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,034
is putting your child
before you.
41
00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:24,764
That child is 40 years old,
42
00:01:24,832 --> 00:01:27,663
and this child has never
had a hot stone massage.
43
00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:30,686
Oh, Marjorie, it's just two days.
44
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,077
Let her have some fun.
45
00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:34,592
She's looking at a
lifetime of partial views.
46
00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:36,525
Exactly. I can just as easily
47
00:01:36,593 --> 00:01:38,538
crush my daughter's world
on Monday.
48
00:01:38,691 --> 00:01:41,514
And maybe bring her a Reno
snow globe to soften the blow.
49
00:01:41,632 --> 00:01:42,952
She hates those things.
50
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,803
Not everyone does.
51
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,382
Dilemma
over. I think she knows.
52
00:01:49,450 --> 00:01:51,600
We can't be sure.
It might be something I did.
53
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:53,335
Oh, please be something I did.
54
00:01:54,086 --> 00:01:55,561
What's the matter, honey?
55
00:01:55,671 --> 00:01:57,155
Patrick's getting married.
56
00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:59,936
He posted on Instagram.
57
00:02:00,389 --> 00:02:03,210
He gave her a ring in
an "ah-cha-chi" bowl.
58
00:02:03,865 --> 00:02:06,178
- Actually...
- Let her have this.
59
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:14,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
60
00:02:17,687 --> 00:02:19,602
*MOM*
Season 05 Episode 21
61
00:02:19,727 --> 00:02:22,649
*MOM*
Episode Title: "Phone Confetti
and a Wee Dingle"
62
00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:36,576
You want a hit?
63
00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:40,071
No. No, thanks. I already had
a log of cookie dough for lunch.
64
00:02:41,652 --> 00:02:42,948
I just don't understand
65
00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:45,159
how Patrick can get over me
so fast.
66
00:02:45,696 --> 00:02:47,235
I'm a catch.
67
00:02:48,422 --> 00:02:50,954
It's not you... my brother
just can't live alone.
68
00:02:51,317 --> 00:02:53,446
So what, he'll just marry
anyone?
69
00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:55,616
What do the towels
in his bathroom say?
70
00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,422
"His and Whoever"?
71
00:02:57,950 --> 00:03:00,749
Babe, you're just taking shorts
and T-shirts to Reno, right?
72
00:03:00,852 --> 00:03:03,805
- Yeah. It's gonna be hot.
- Oh. It's gonna be hot.
73
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:05,876
Oh. Right.
74
00:03:05,944 --> 00:03:08,344
It's gonna be so hot.
75
00:03:09,174 --> 00:03:10,751
I can still hear you.
76
00:03:11,063 --> 00:03:12,877
Honey, are you gonna
be okay this weekend?
77
00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:14,649
Why don't you make plans
with the girls?
78
00:03:14,725 --> 00:03:16,581
Jill's busy, Wendy's working,
79
00:03:16,665 --> 00:03:19,104
and... Marjorie and Victor
are spending the weekend
80
00:03:19,172 --> 00:03:20,688
rediscovering their love.
81
00:03:21,089 --> 00:03:23,055
- Oosh.
- Ugh.
82
00:03:25,251 --> 00:03:26,938
I need
some chocolate syrup.
83
00:03:27,027 --> 00:03:28,729
This isn't sweet enough.
84
00:03:29,813 --> 00:03:30,930
I'm worried about her.
85
00:03:30,998 --> 00:03:33,024
Me, too. You think we
should postpone this trip?
86
00:03:33,161 --> 00:03:35,361
No way. I can still worry about
her while I'm on top of you
87
00:03:35,428 --> 00:03:37,477
looking at some mountain
and some parking lot.
88
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,435
You know, honey, we could
go away together anytime.
89
00:03:40,626 --> 00:03:41,922
I would not take it personally
90
00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:43,594
if you went with her
instead of me.
91
00:03:44,977 --> 00:03:46,362
You're so sweet.
92
00:03:46,505 --> 00:03:48,171
So what's the sporting event
93
00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:49,679
you don't want to miss
this weekend?
94
00:03:50,653 --> 00:03:52,263
I'll admit, when I booked
this trip,
95
00:03:52,354 --> 00:03:54,075
that I did not know
Edmonton and Calgary
96
00:03:54,143 --> 00:03:55,794
would make it
to a game seven.
97
00:03:56,239 --> 00:03:57,905
And let me guess...
Those two teams
98
00:03:57,973 --> 00:03:59,094
don't like each other
very much.
99
00:03:59,161 --> 00:04:00,753
Oh, it's gonna get a little chippy.
100
00:04:01,934 --> 00:04:03,599
But I really do think
that you should take her
101
00:04:03,666 --> 00:04:04,701
and get her mind off Patrick.
102
00:04:04,768 --> 00:04:06,036
Trust me, she's gonna be
okay.
103
00:04:06,104 --> 00:04:07,297
She's stronger than she looks,
104
00:04:07,364 --> 00:04:09,622
thanks to a lifetime of
disappointment.
105
00:04:11,363 --> 00:04:13,163
We didn't have any
chocolate syrup,
106
00:04:13,266 --> 00:04:16,559
so I just rolled it in
sugar and Froot Loops.
107
00:04:18,778 --> 00:04:21,208
I might have invented
something great.
108
00:04:25,856 --> 00:04:27,786
You are so lucky to have Adam.
109
00:04:28,439 --> 00:04:30,739
What a sweet guy to
give up his trip for me.
110
00:04:30,899 --> 00:04:32,287
He shouldn't get the credit
for this.
111
00:04:32,354 --> 00:04:33,937
This was my idea.
112
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,856
He pushed back pretty
hard, but I said, "No,
113
00:04:35,924 --> 00:04:38,036
my Christy needs this"
114
00:04:39,081 --> 00:04:42,270
I half believed you until
you said "my Christy."
115
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,059
Yeah, I got greedy.
116
00:04:46,048 --> 00:04:48,614
You know, it'd be a lot easier
for you to forget Patrick
117
00:04:48,742 --> 00:04:50,552
if you got off
his Instagram page.
118
00:04:50,744 --> 00:04:52,387
I'm not looking at him.
119
00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:54,833
I'm looking at the
giant ring he gave her.
120
00:04:55,052 --> 00:04:56,958
How many karats
do you think that is?
121
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,164
Am I focusing on the massive one
122
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,247
in the middle or the
little ones worshipping it?
123
00:05:01,599 --> 00:05:02,677
Not helpful.
124
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,411
All it tells me is
someone's overcompensating.
125
00:05:05,911 --> 00:05:07,012
Actually, no.
126
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,903
He was pretty good
in that department.
127
00:05:08,971 --> 00:05:10,051
Really?
128
00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:13,083
He looks like a guy
who'd have a wee dingle.
129
00:05:13,653 --> 00:05:14,982
A wee dingle?
130
00:05:15,203 --> 00:05:18,309
Yeah. Like a strawberry
peeking up out of the leaves.
131
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:20,283
You can tell by looking at
a guy?
132
00:05:20,426 --> 00:05:23,481
Measure the distance between
their eyes, multiply by three.
133
00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:28,327
This is what it would look like
on me.
134
00:05:30,936 --> 00:05:32,575
Yeah, but if you took the ring,
135
00:05:32,643 --> 00:05:34,048
you'd have to take the
guy that came with it,
136
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:35,285
and you didn't want him.
137
00:05:36,325 --> 00:05:37,747
You know what?
You're right.
138
00:05:37,819 --> 00:05:39,137
I'm always right.
139
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:43,356
Name one other time
you were right, ever.
140
00:05:44,104 --> 00:05:45,403
Titanic.
141
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:48,270
What, that you didn't go on it?
142
00:05:48,821 --> 00:05:50,091
The movie.
143
00:05:50,248 --> 00:05:51,739
Everyone said it was no good,
144
00:05:51,807 --> 00:05:54,145
and I said, "Give this
little boat picture a try."
145
00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:55,763
What are you talking about?
146
00:05:56,035 --> 00:05:58,193
It's the most popular movie
of all time.
147
00:05:58,289 --> 00:05:59,716
Thanks to me.
148
00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:07,912
♪ Somewhere out there ♪
149
00:06:08,137 --> 00:06:13,177
♪ Beneath the pale moonlight ♪
150
00:06:13,626 --> 00:06:15,159
♪ Why ♪
151
00:06:15,227 --> 00:06:16,856
♪ Do, dah-dah, Dee... ♪
152
00:06:17,042 --> 00:06:18,317
What are you doing?
153
00:06:18,476 --> 00:06:19,903
I'm singing the Titanic song.
154
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:22,095
That's Fievel, the mouse
from An American Tail.
155
00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:24,131
We'll rent it tonight.
You'll see.
156
00:06:25,606 --> 00:06:27,052
Ooh! Ice cream.
157
00:06:27,194 --> 00:06:28,513
What? We're almost there.
158
00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:30,591
DQ! DQ!
Exit, exit, exit!
159
00:06:30,719 --> 00:06:32,778
No! You can get ice cream
at the hotel.
160
00:06:32,994 --> 00:06:34,747
We came here to make me
feel better,
161
00:06:34,859 --> 00:06:37,075
and a chocolate Blizzard
would make me feel better.
162
00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:38,606
DQ! DQ!
163
00:06:38,695 --> 00:06:40,278
DQ! DQ! DQ!
164
00:06:40,536 --> 00:06:42,607
- DQ! DQ!
- This may be why I disappeared so much
165
00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:44,044
- when you were a kid.
- DQ! DQ!
166
00:06:44,157 --> 00:06:46,895
DQ! DQ! DQ! DQ!
167
00:06:47,179 --> 00:06:53,623
♪ Even though I know how
very far apart we are ♪
168
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:57,373
♪ It makes me happy to think ♪
169
00:06:57,473 --> 00:07:01,630
♪ We might be wishing
on the same star... ♪
170
00:07:01,757 --> 00:07:03,567
What is happening here?
171
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,059
Love theme from Titanic.
172
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:11,325
What can I do you for, Officer?
173
00:07:11,457 --> 00:07:14,047
Any reason you don't
have plates on this car?
174
00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:15,591
We don't?
175
00:07:15,844 --> 00:07:17,491
Well, uh, daughter's car.
176
00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:18,841
She's inside getting ice cream.
177
00:07:18,936 --> 00:07:20,853
You're gonna have to
take it up with her.
178
00:07:21,387 --> 00:07:24,544
You're the only one here,
so I'm taking it up with you.
179
00:07:25,122 --> 00:07:26,231
Okay.
180
00:07:26,492 --> 00:07:29,130
If I had to hazard a guess... New car,
181
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:32,372
plates are probably in a pile
of unopened bills on her desk,
182
00:07:32,442 --> 00:07:33,890
and if you bug her about it,
183
00:07:34,009 --> 00:07:35,608
you're gonna get a bit of an earful.
184
00:07:35,761 --> 00:07:38,145
Hmm. License and registration.
185
00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:42,926
Man, must be a slow
crime day in... nowhere.
186
00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:45,967
This make you feel like a big man?
187
00:07:46,035 --> 00:07:48,738
Ow! Pinchy! Pinchy!
188
00:07:51,373 --> 00:07:53,470
I was gone for five minutes!
189
00:07:53,597 --> 00:07:54,597
What did you do?
190
00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:57,113
I ran out on some parking
tickets 20 years ago,
191
00:07:57,195 --> 00:07:59,475
which wasn't a problem
until we came to Nevada,
192
00:07:59,594 --> 00:08:01,566
and you didn't put
your license plates on!
193
00:08:01,664 --> 00:08:03,691
I told you I'll get to it.
194
00:08:03,772 --> 00:08:05,689
Oh. Okay then. No hurry.
195
00:08:05,992 --> 00:08:07,429
All right, let's go.
196
00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:11,225
Wait, wait, wait. Give me a lick
of that before they lock me up.
197
00:08:11,581 --> 00:08:14,081
Ooh. Brain freeze! Brain freeze!
198
00:08:18,757 --> 00:08:21,601
Can you actually type
with those sausages?
199
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,798
I do all right.
200
00:08:25,578 --> 00:08:26,812
Well, pick up the pace.
201
00:08:26,914 --> 00:08:28,695
We've got hot stone massages
at 5:00.
202
00:08:28,763 --> 00:08:31,289
I told you, this one's
got a mouth on her.
203
00:08:31,773 --> 00:08:33,397
Check out
the space between his eyes.
204
00:08:33,465 --> 00:08:36,281
Hey, hey, no talking in code.
205
00:08:37,695 --> 00:08:39,999
Listen, Officer, this is all my fault.
206
00:08:40,148 --> 00:08:42,436
I'm the one who forgot to
put the plates on my car.
207
00:08:42,539 --> 00:08:43,956
Hey, Sarg, you want me
to write her up for that?
208
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:44,937
I could write her up for that.
209
00:08:45,016 --> 00:08:46,234
Look, Terry,
210
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,218
why don't you head over
to the middle school,
211
00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:50,870
and see if they finished
repainting that crosswalk?
212
00:08:51,093 --> 00:08:54,367
On it. Call me if things go
sideways with String Bean.
213
00:08:54,828 --> 00:08:55,902
That's you.
214
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,124
We have codes, too.
215
00:09:02,553 --> 00:09:05,403
All right, Ms. Plunkett, follow me.
216
00:09:06,315 --> 00:09:08,265
Oh. Oh, come on.
217
00:09:08,471 --> 00:09:11,055
Is this really necessary?
Can't we just pay?
218
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,191
Oh, sure, if you have $2,185.
219
00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:16,882
Get in there.
220
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:19,727
If you don't want me in
here for murder, call Adam,
221
00:09:19,795 --> 00:09:21,261
have him transfer the
money to your account,
222
00:09:21,286 --> 00:09:23,069
and then go to an ATM and get it.
223
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,156
Is there a bank nearby?
224
00:09:25,246 --> 00:09:28,517
No, but there's a hotel
12 miles south of here
225
00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:29,890
with a high-limit ATM.
226
00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:32,273
Okay, I'll be back
as soon as I can.
227
00:09:32,921 --> 00:09:34,530
Hey, real quick.
228
00:09:35,025 --> 00:09:38,138
Isn't that a lot of ring
for someone you just met?
229
00:09:38,336 --> 00:09:40,237
- Go!
- Right, right.
230
00:09:40,378 --> 00:09:41,726
Hotel, 12 miles north.
231
00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:43,031
- South!
- South!
232
00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:44,265
Got it.
233
00:09:45,492 --> 00:09:48,487
So which gang do I have
to join to survive in here?
234
00:09:51,781 --> 00:09:55,478
Wait. She's
actually in a little jail cell
235
00:09:55,546 --> 00:09:56,757
like Otis the drunk?
236
00:09:57,046 --> 00:09:58,700
I don't know who that is.
237
00:09:58,875 --> 00:10:02,140
You know, Mayberry? Andy Griffith, Opie.
238
00:10:02,218 --> 00:10:03,671
- Adam.
- It's so funny.
239
00:10:03,762 --> 00:10:06,968
Otis would get drunk and
then lock himself in the cell.
240
00:10:07,218 --> 00:10:09,526
Boy, self, cell, that's hard to say.
241
00:10:09,964 --> 00:10:12,988
Do you get high the minute
my mom goes out of town?
242
00:10:13,056 --> 00:10:14,632
Eh, pretty much.
243
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:17,493
Can you transfer the bail money or not?
244
00:10:17,561 --> 00:10:19,312
On one condition:
you get a video of her
245
00:10:19,380 --> 00:10:21,737
raking a tin cup across
the bars.
246
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,554
I don't get that either.
247
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,359
Stop being old and
just send me the money.
248
00:10:25,427 --> 00:10:27,968
Yeah, yeah.
How much was it again?
249
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:31,019
$2,150.
250
00:10:31,515 --> 00:10:33,359
I can handle the rest.
251
00:10:33,493 --> 00:10:34,909
Well, how much is the rest?
252
00:10:35,612 --> 00:10:36,963
$35.
253
00:10:38,867 --> 00:10:40,098
I'll send it right now.
254
00:10:40,189 --> 00:10:41,765
Thanks. Bye.
255
00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:49,039
Mmm.
256
00:10:55,764 --> 00:10:57,523
Oh, yeah.
257
00:11:06,828 --> 00:11:07,851
Uh...
258
00:11:08,031 --> 00:11:09,533
Can I ask you a question?
259
00:11:09,946 --> 00:11:12,626
I don't know.
I'm pretty busy in here.
260
00:11:13,109 --> 00:11:17,351
How did you rack up 17 parking
tickets over one weekend?
261
00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:20,929
What the hell was
going on December, 1999?
262
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:22,486
Y2K was going on.
263
00:11:22,575 --> 00:11:24,575
A lot of dummies thought
the world was gonna end.
264
00:11:24,711 --> 00:11:26,640
Not just dummies.
265
00:11:27,111 --> 00:11:28,644
Continue.
266
00:11:29,476 --> 00:11:33,601
I had this boyfriend, Dale...
Dwayne...
267
00:11:34,062 --> 00:11:35,421
that doesn't matter.
268
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,648
Anyway we realized,
people freaking out,
269
00:11:37,749 --> 00:11:39,107
good time to sell a lot of drugs.
270
00:11:39,187 --> 00:11:41,196
So we hopped in our car
with our hearts full of hope
271
00:11:41,263 --> 00:11:43,804
and a trash bag full
of Mexican Quaaludes.
272
00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:47,289
You do know you have the
right to remain silent?
273
00:11:47,453 --> 00:11:49,737
Yeah, that's never been my thing.
274
00:11:50,031 --> 00:11:52,046
Anyway, we promptly got
really high
275
00:11:52,172 --> 00:11:53,839
and forgot
where we parked the car.
276
00:11:53,907 --> 00:11:55,051
Donny.
277
00:11:55,342 --> 00:11:56,874
No.
278
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:02,262
Hey, honey.
279
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,153
What'd she do now?
280
00:12:05,828 --> 00:12:07,226
Oh, God.
281
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,984
No. I-I can't pick her up.
I have someone in the cell.
282
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,749
Well, then, just let her sit there.
283
00:12:15,898 --> 00:12:18,730
That'll teach her... something?
284
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,124
Yeah, a-all right. All right.
I-I got to go.
285
00:12:28,060 --> 00:12:29,226
What'd she do?
286
00:12:29,812 --> 00:12:31,004
Huh? What?
287
00:12:31,277 --> 00:12:32,774
I know
what a "my daughter screwed up"
288
00:12:32,841 --> 00:12:33,931
phone call sounds like.
289
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:37,165
- You got one, too?
- You just met her.
290
00:12:37,483 --> 00:12:38,685
Oh, she seemed okay.
291
00:12:38,785 --> 00:12:41,109
Yeah, sure, now,
after I cleaned her up.
292
00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:43,171
I pretty much saved her life.
293
00:12:43,435 --> 00:12:45,936
Drugs, alcohol, stripping, gambling...
294
00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:47,794
Name a problem, she's had it.
295
00:12:48,187 --> 00:12:49,301
Gambling?
296
00:12:49,713 --> 00:12:52,536
We lost our house 'cause
the Packers didn't cover.
297
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,738
- Huh.
- What?
298
00:12:55,637 --> 00:12:57,593
Well, I just sent her
299
00:12:57,687 --> 00:13:00,254
to an ATM machine in
the middle of a casino.
300
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,085
Huh.
301
00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:24,746
Mom's in jail. Mom's in jail.
302
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:26,203
Mom's in jail.
303
00:13:33,798 --> 00:13:35,077
Oh God.
304
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,069
Oh, come on. It's not
the end of the world.
305
00:13:37,137 --> 00:13:38,587
I took a swing at my teacher
306
00:13:38,655 --> 00:13:40,071
when I was your daughter's age.
307
00:13:40,639 --> 00:13:42,595
And look at you now.
308
00:13:44,499 --> 00:13:45,907
I just don't get it.
309
00:13:46,097 --> 00:13:49,065
For 15 years, Sarah was my little girl.
310
00:13:49,145 --> 00:13:50,835
She told me everything.
311
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,458
And one day,
she walks into her bedroom,
312
00:13:53,526 --> 00:13:55,061
she closes the door,
313
00:13:55,284 --> 00:13:57,235
and I haven't seen her since.
314
00:13:57,530 --> 00:14:00,116
I got news for you, it's
only gonna get harder.
315
00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:01,413
But don't give up on her.
316
00:14:01,533 --> 00:14:03,669
Sure, you're gonna want to
pack your bags and take off,
317
00:14:03,736 --> 00:14:05,915
leave her to fend for herself,
and who could blame you?
318
00:14:06,272 --> 00:14:08,122
Who does that to a child?
319
00:14:09,119 --> 00:14:11,185
No one.
320
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:15,253
You kinda sounded like
you were ready to split.
321
00:14:15,381 --> 00:14:16,992
- I just said it was hard.
- All right, all right.
322
00:14:17,059 --> 00:14:18,939
I was just working with
what you were giving me.
323
00:14:20,155 --> 00:14:21,319
Another soda?
324
00:14:21,522 --> 00:14:23,069
I'm good.
325
00:14:27,630 --> 00:14:29,803
So what's to stop me from just
326
00:14:29,882 --> 00:14:31,793
making a run for it right now?
327
00:14:31,865 --> 00:14:33,217
Nothing, really.
328
00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:35,553
But it's 110 degrees out there
329
00:14:35,652 --> 00:14:37,319
and we're in the middle of
nowhere.
330
00:14:37,537 --> 00:14:39,740
Right. Right.
331
00:14:55,424 --> 00:14:57,057
Yo-leven!
332
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:03,036
Don't you leave, sugar,
you're my good luck.
333
00:15:03,313 --> 00:15:04,595
Let her ride!
334
00:15:16,277 --> 00:15:18,895
It's...
335
00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:20,987
hot out there.
336
00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:28,549
You see any snakes?
337
00:15:28,738 --> 00:15:29,947
Six.
338
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,307
Yeah.
339
00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:39,127
Come on, baby, work with me.
340
00:15:39,268 --> 00:15:41,447
Anything but seven. Anything but seven.
341
00:15:43,138 --> 00:15:44,298
Seven out.
342
00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:47,299
No! That's my mom's bail money!
343
00:15:47,941 --> 00:15:50,308
I can give you a coupon to the buffet.
344
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,846
Can I bet it?
345
00:15:56,065 --> 00:15:57,978
You are paying me a
hundred dollars an hour;
346
00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,736
at some point, we should
probably work on your serve.
347
00:15:59,803 --> 00:16:01,803
Oh, please, we both know
348
00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:03,704
I'm a better tennis player
than you.
349
00:16:09,319 --> 00:16:10,651
Oh, my God, what?
350
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,744
I'm in the middle of a tennis lesson.
351
00:16:12,933 --> 00:16:15,260
I am so sorry,
but it's an emergency.
352
00:16:15,328 --> 00:16:16,694
My mom just got arrested
353
00:16:16,836 --> 00:16:18,436
and I need to borrow
two grand for bail.
354
00:16:18,596 --> 00:16:20,393
- Arrested?
- Yeah.
355
00:16:20,461 --> 00:16:22,487
It happened five minutes ago.
356
00:16:22,559 --> 00:16:24,619
You're the first person
I thought of to call.
357
00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:26,299
Aw. Aw.
358
00:16:28,949 --> 00:16:31,032
Text me something about your account.
359
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,846
I got to go. Bye.
360
00:16:37,407 --> 00:16:38,674
This is her last year.
361
00:16:38,742 --> 00:16:40,229
She's adorable.
362
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,197
This is her now.
363
00:16:42,362 --> 00:16:44,539
Wow, that's a lot of eyeliner.
364
00:16:44,864 --> 00:16:47,213
Yeah, and you really notice it
365
00:16:47,281 --> 00:16:49,244
since she shaved her head.
366
00:16:50,791 --> 00:16:53,033
Uh, Christy was a pretty
difficult teenager, too,
367
00:16:53,152 --> 00:16:55,783
though... some of that was
hormones from the pregnancy.
368
00:16:55,851 --> 00:16:57,947
- Oh, God.
- Just keep trying.
369
00:16:58,119 --> 00:16:59,561
She's gonna keep pushing you away,
370
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,799
but one day that bedroom
door will open again
371
00:17:01,881 --> 00:17:03,752
and she'll be glad
you're standing there.
372
00:17:03,924 --> 00:17:06,471
- I hope you're right.
- I'm always right.
373
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:09,854
Never in a million years
would I have thought
374
00:17:09,973 --> 00:17:12,080
I'd have such a wonderful,
loving relationship
375
00:17:12,151 --> 00:17:13,330
- with my daughter.
- Mom.
376
00:17:13,443 --> 00:17:14,725
Where the hell have you been?
377
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:16,330
I thought you left me here to rot!
378
00:17:16,408 --> 00:17:17,830
Darling.
379
00:17:18,644 --> 00:17:19,987
I'm sorry.
380
00:17:20,144 --> 00:17:22,377
We'll talk about it in
the car. Pay the man.
381
00:17:22,973 --> 00:17:24,494
I can't.
382
00:17:26,401 --> 00:17:30,018
Oh, God, Christy, you
gambled Adam's money.
383
00:17:30,447 --> 00:17:31,893
I did.
384
00:17:32,074 --> 00:17:33,682
So then I called Jill.
385
00:17:33,765 --> 00:17:36,229
And you gambled
Jill's money, too?
386
00:17:37,885 --> 00:17:39,884
It all happened so fast.
387
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,346
I'm not sure I understand pai gow.
388
00:17:44,026 --> 00:17:47,418
So what, I'm gonna do hard
time for parking tickets?
389
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,011
Yes... 'cause your daughter's a loser.
390
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:51,929
That's why Patrick
didn't want to be with me,
391
00:17:51,997 --> 00:17:53,597
that's why I didn't get into law school,
392
00:17:53,665 --> 00:17:55,399
that's why I hit on a soft 19.
393
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,409
- Oof.
- I know, right?
394
00:17:58,624 --> 00:18:01,713
Okay. Well, what time's dinner?
395
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,322
You know, Bonnie,
396
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:07,542
these computers
can be a bit glitchy.
397
00:18:07,652 --> 00:18:09,332
Damn it, Gene, I've
got enough on my plate
398
00:18:09,449 --> 00:18:11,416
without worrying
about your problems.
399
00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:14,043
I'm saying,
400
00:18:14,438 --> 00:18:16,441
maybe your arrest record
401
00:18:16,509 --> 00:18:17,927
somehow disappeared.
402
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,124
How about...
403
00:18:20,301 --> 00:18:21,808
you take care of your daughter,
404
00:18:22,178 --> 00:18:23,961
I'll go take care of mine?
405
00:18:24,339 --> 00:18:26,126
- Really?
- Really.
406
00:18:26,551 --> 00:18:28,257
Christy, go outside and
pull the car right up
407
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,244
to the front door and
blast the air conditioning.
408
00:18:30,332 --> 00:18:31,551
That I can do.
409
00:18:31,619 --> 00:18:33,246
Watch out for snakes.
410
00:18:37,892 --> 00:18:39,309
Thank you.
411
00:18:40,229 --> 00:18:41,598
And hang in there with your daughter.
412
00:18:41,665 --> 00:18:43,081
Don't be discouraged by this.
413
00:18:43,219 --> 00:18:44,435
Roger that.
414
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:46,832
- Bonnie?
- Yeah.
415
00:18:47,230 --> 00:18:49,518
Never come back to Nevada.
416
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,581
I'll add it to the list.
417
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,622
Hey, you missed
the exit for the spa.
418
00:19:00,968 --> 00:19:03,301
- We can't go to the spa.
- Why not?
419
00:19:03,419 --> 00:19:04,969
Because I don't deserve it.
420
00:19:05,856 --> 00:19:07,870
Stupid pai gow.
421
00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:10,511
I do. I'm covered in jail stink,
422
00:19:10,652 --> 00:19:11,838
and I'm getting a salt scrub.
423
00:19:11,906 --> 00:19:13,060
I don't know what it is,
I may hate it,
424
00:19:13,127 --> 00:19:14,152
but I'm getting it.
425
00:19:14,224 --> 00:19:16,057
Followed by a selection
of artisanal cheeses
426
00:19:16,129 --> 00:19:17,698
I saw on the website.
427
00:19:19,238 --> 00:19:20,452
That does sound nice.
428
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,419
Oh, no cheese for you.
You're staying in the room.
429
00:19:22,486 --> 00:19:24,336
You can look out the window,
but only at the parking lot,
430
00:19:24,403 --> 00:19:25,749
not at the mountain.
431
00:19:26,616 --> 00:19:28,264
That seems fair.
432
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:31,054
Okay, I'll double back.
433
00:19:39,023 --> 00:19:40,585
Son of a bitch.
434
00:19:40,730 --> 00:19:43,231
You didn't do anything
illegal in Nevada, did you?
435
00:19:44,914 --> 00:19:46,984
I guess we're gonna find out.
436
00:19:47,305 --> 00:19:53,266
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