All language subtitles for Younger s06e04_English

[upbeat music]

- Oh.

Uh, good morning.

- Good morning, Liza.
This is Beth.

- Hi! It's so nice
to meet you, Beth.

- Likewise. I finally get
to meet the roommate.

Yoga at 10:00?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Mm.

- Uh, is that the
vagina counselor?

- Yes.
We just finished a session.

- Ugh.

And now you're doing yoga.

Wow. I don't even
know you anymore.

- Oh, we hardly ever
see each other,

I mean, now
that we're all boo'd up.

We should have
a little double date--

me and Beth, you and Charles.

- Yeah, I just--

- I promise
not to call him Chaz.

- No, it's not that.
It's just...

I'm worried that he...

[sighs] He might be secretly
funding a new company.

- Chaz?
- I know it sounds crazy.

It's just, there are a lot,
like, of odd coincidences.

Like, he recently took out

a huge mortgage
on his town house.

- Well, he's going
through a divorce.

He probably needs the cash.

- I know. You're right.
- Yeah.

- But I--also, I saw him
meeting with Zane.

- Mm-hmm.

- And now this
new publishing company

with Zane in charge
buys a book

right out
from under Millennial.

- Eh. Sounds random.

But if you're looking
for trouble,

you're probably
going to find it.

- Okay. Marketing.

I was allotting a certain budget
for Audrey Colbert's advance,

but now that we don't
have that anymore,

what do we have to promote?

- Bronwyn Madigan just finished
the final pass on her new book.

- "The Seasoned Slut"?
Really?

- Well, I mean, the main
character's a chef

and also older...and a slut.
[chuckles]

- Oh.
- There's a great recipe

for meatloaf in the back.

- It's erotica
for baby boomers.

Her books did well
for Empirical.

Maybe Millennial makes
a bigger push to show

that a female-run company
supports our female authors.

- Okay, let's just make sure
that she re-ups her contract.

- As the boss,
I suggest you make that happen.

She's a cash cow, and...
Millennial could use the milk.

- Did you have to say that?

- I did.

- Look at this.

- He always looks like a dog
that just ate your pizza.

- We need to make sure
that we have the funds in place

to compete with him
and whoever's backing this.

- Do you think that
it could be, like,

one really rich person?

- [scoffs] No way.

I found out that Mercury
has offices

in the Financial District.

It's got to the some
deep-pocketed media company

who has the resources
to play in publishing.

- Yeah, that sounds right.

- I'm going to lunch,
and on my way,

I'm going to pay Zane a little
surprise visit

and find out how big of a
problem he's actually gonna be.

[upbeat music]

- I do my own thing

I do my own thing

I don't make mistakes

I make my own fate

Nothing in my way

I do my own thing

Ain't seen,
but you probably heard

Just one look,
and I rule the world

- [scoffs]

What is this?

- Welcome to Mercury.

- This is a community
workspace.

This is where you go if
you're starting a taco pop-up.

- This is the future
of business.

There's no overhead,
and I take all my meetings

at Suffolk House.

- Is that how you got
Audrey Colbert?

A nice breakfast
and a big check?

- Oh, money isn't everything.
Sometimes it's about charm.

- [scoffs]
So you slept with her?

God, that is
completely unethical...

and so creepy.

- Oh, but it's fine
when you do it?

- I've only slept with my
authors after they signed.

- Mm.
- Is that what this is about?

You getting back at me?

You went after Audrey
because you knew I was.

- You lost the book, Peters.
Suck it up, all right?

There will be others--

oh, if they don't all
get snatched up by me first.

- This isn't cute, Zane.

That book was important to me,
and you know it.

You could've been up front,
but you played me.

[upbeat music]

- Listen, you are energetically
inflamed, all right?

Your aura is like a cartoon bird
that just ate a pepper.

- I am stressed, okay?

And my quick, easy way
to de-stress was Zane,

and I hate him now.

- Okay, okay, let's, um--let's
redirect some of that heat

before I have to take one
for the team, all right?

Pull up your apps, Kels.

We can find you

some no-strings-attached
love tonight.

- Okay, well, it's going
to take a second

because I just added them
back on the train.

- Um, that is not
how dating apps work, babe.

Yeah, you--your profile
doesn't come down

just because you delete
the app off your phone.

The bait has been in the water.

- Then how come
I don't have any bites?

- I don't know. Give.

[gasps]
Oh, Kelsey, no, no, no.

This says that you're
Publisher of Millennial Print.

- [chuckles]
Yeah. That is my job.

- Yes. And it is a great job,
and I am in constant awe

of your accomplishments,
but this kind of overachieving

only works if you're trying
to pick up women, all right?

Men don't want to deal
with your big-dick energy.

- Oh, my God. Okay.

I don't have that energy,
and you're shouting.

- You have BDE, Kelsey.
You do.

I mean,
you are basically wielding

a giant psychic schlong.

I almost got us a three-top.

- I don't have
big-dick energy, okay?

There's just something wrong
with my app.

- Yes, okay,
and I will show you.

I'll show you what
is wrong with your apps.

[cell phone clicking]

- What is a creative director?

- No one knows, okay?
And no one cares.

[cell phone chimes]
[gasps] Oh!

What was that?

Did someone get a ding?

[upbeat music]

- Liza!

I just got off the phone
with a rep from MetroCycle.

I pitched them the idea of
putting erotica on the kiosks.

- Bronwyn's?
- No, my own.

Yes, Bronwyn's!

We are working out a deal where
excerpts from her book appear

on every kiosk
from April to June--

a sign that spring has sprung.

- Oh, we could call
the campaign

"Get On and Get Off."

- That's disgusting.

Maybe.

Call Bronwyn,
give her the headline,

see if that spurs her on
to sign the contract.

[upbeat music]

- Hi.
- Thanks for helping out.

- Yeah, of course.
Hi, baby girl. How are you?

Oh, yeah.
- I have to crash this program.

- Okay.
- It's only gonna take

a couple of days.

I pumped.

Put half in the fridge,
half in the freezer.

- All right.

[baby cries]
Oh, hey, hey.

Hey, what's going on,
baby girl?

- She's probably just hungry.
- We okay?

- She's hungry all the time.

- Okay.

Ooh.

[baby crying]
Okay.

[crying continues]

- Oh.

Ow.
- Ow? What?

- Oh, nothing. It's fine.
- That doesn't sound fine.

What can I do to help?
- Uh...

- What's happening?

- Ah, I think I just have
a clogged duct.

It's fine. Ah!

- [scoffs]
- Oh.

[crying continues]

I'm so sorry.
- [scoffs]

I guess it's unclogged.
- [laughs]

- I don't know, something
natural, easy, a little sexy.

- Of course.

You going out tonight?
- Yes.

Tonight I'm practicing
a little self-care

with someone else.

- Okay!

Well, one tip for keeping this
blowout fresh--no missionary.

- Oh, no problem.
- [chuckles]

I like you.

- My roommate says
I need to tone it down.

She claims I have BDE.
- Big-dick energy?

- According to her.
- Uh-oh.

- Yeah. Uh, apparently it's
a turn-off if you're a woman--

- Did you know
you had a patch?

- What's that?
- You've lost some hair here.

- Oh, my God.

I don't have
big-dick energy.

I have bald-dude energy!
Aah!

- Hush now, baby,
don't you cry

It's time for us
to say good-bye

- Hey.

Does this hat look ridiculous?
- Shh!

- I've tried
putting my hair up.

I've tried putting
a bandanna on.

- Kelsey, Kelsey,
I really don't want to hear

about your
bad hair day, okay?

I-I have been up all night
with a crying baby.

Why? I don't know.
I don't know.

Because the rest of you
either don't have ears

or you don't have souls.

- It is not a bad hair day,
Lauren.

My hair's falling out!
- Okay, well, animals shed.

You're just blowin' coat.
It's normal.

- I am not a sheltie!

I've lost four clumps of hair
since last night. Four!

I'm going to the doctor to see
if he can put them back in!

- [screams]
Oh, my God!

- [baby cries]
- What happened?

What happened?
Did she wake up?

- No, Josh. You are the only
one who just woke up, okay?

I mean, get it together, man!
Kelsey doesn't need this!

She's got a bag full of hair!

- [baby crying]
- [humming soothingly]

- Kelsey.

- Bronwyn Madigan is
coming in today,

and we need
to put on a show,

which you can be
the ringleader of

since you're
wearing a top hat?

- What's going on?
- She won't sign her contract.

I thinks she just needs some
face time with the new boss.

Make sure she's in good hands.

- So I'd re-think
the Sorting Hat.

- Some of my hair...

has recently gone.

The doctor says
that it's alopecia.

- Oh, my God!
Are you okay?

- I had alopecia...
not on my head.

I've also had
stress-induced dermatitis,

three bulging disks,

and something quaintly referred
to as "nutcracker's esophagus."

Oh, and every April
I get shingles,

right up the side
of my rib cage.

It's like wearing
an electric tube top

one month out of the year.

- That's not
making me feel better.

- It's making me feel better.

Look, eventually the pendulum
swings the other way.

In the meantime, just...

hang in there.

- Can I take anything
off your plate?

- Just keep an eye out, okay?

- Okay.

[dramatic music]

- MetroCycle
has 62,000 riders a day,

which guarantees
at least that many

the chance to marinate
in your words

as they get on and get off.

- Gross.

- I agree. It's...

- You know, it's a great
marketing opportunity.

And it's perfect for the release
of "The Seasoned Slut."

- It's not my demo.

Women my age
don't ride MetroCycle.

- I'm not so sure about that.

- Do you ride MetroCycle?

- Funny story, I--

Am I your demographic?

- We want to introduce
new readers to your books.

- I'm good. New readers can
find me in the Twittersphere.

I'm a big tweeter.

I don't want to sign
with a company called Millennial

and have my voice reimagined
for a new audience.

- Oh, Bronwyn.
I promise you,

we don't want to chance
your voice or your books.

- You say that now,
but I've been around the block.

When you sign a contract,
you sign your rights away.

I'm not going to re-up, ladies.

I just thought I owed you
the face-to-face.

- You've built
your entire career here.

- No, I built my career
at Empirical...

where I met you
as an assistant.

- So your problem is with me?

- No, my problem is
with the lack of value

placed on experience.

Where's the gray hair
in the room?

I write erotic fiction
for women of a certain age.

Yeah...

I bet any man would let
the two of you blow him.

- "Let"?

- Women my age
have to work hard for that BJ,

and we are better at it.

Am I right?

- Do people think I'm her age?

[upbeat music]

- Maggie.

- Oh, hey!
[chuckles]

I came all the way
to Greenpoint

so that I wouldn't run
into anybody.

- Yeah, me too.

I'm balding.

Yeah.

I think it's work-related.
I don't know.

- Well, itching and burning
over here.

You know, this new woman
I'm seeing, Beth--

she's got me
doing so much hot yoga

that my cooch
finally had enough.

- [laughs]
There's a cure for that.

- [laughs]
The grass is always greener.

Hey, why don't you
come over for a drink

and a home-cooked meal?

You can meet Beth.
I mean, she's a naturopath.

Maybe she's got, you know,
a cure for your situation.

- Why don't you talk to her
about your situation?

- Well, the key
to a good lesbian relationship

is never tell each other
about your yeast infections.

- Hmm.
- Yeah.

- So I'm supposed
to just not stress

while my hair is falling out?

- No, you're supposed to try

to remember that
everything is temporary.

- Oh, that's nice to hear from
the woman that you're dating.

- Hey!

- Hi, we come bearing
Blackout cake.

- Hey!
- Kelsey, good to see you.

- Just don't look too close.

Hey, Charles.
Liza.

- Hey.

- I saw the prescription
in the bathroom.

- Oh, God. Can you pretend
that you didn't?

- No, it's fine.

It's just that that shit's
loaded with chemicals,

and you should really
try a natural antifungal.

- Like what?

- Boop.
- Garlic?

- Yes.

Mm-hmm.

- Wait, what are you doing?
- Trust me.

Breathe.

- Oh, my God, you're crazy.
- Shh.

[laughs]

- [sighs]
It's...it's tingling.

- It's doing the job already.

- Okay.

[laughter]

Here you go.

- Mmm.
Maggie, this looks so good!

- Mmm. It does.
[sniffs]

Is there garlic bread
on the menu tonight?

- Oh, no.
- Really?

'Cause I'm totally smelling it.
- Yeah.

[sniffing]

- Well, there's no bread.

You don't serve bread
with polenta.

- Did you tell Charles
about Bronwyn Madigan?

- Uh, not yet.
- Wait a minute.

Is that the woman that writes
those horny senior novels?

Is she one of your authors?

- She was.

- She left
because we're too young

to understand
how to publish her books.

You can't win.

Don't be too young,
but don't be too old,

and work hard,
but don't stress.

- Well, the new person
always has the hard job

of proving themselves
to the old guard.

- Hmm.
- You'll be fine.

- [sniffs]
- [sniffs]

- It's as if someone is
toasting an everything bagel.

- Maybe you're having a stroke.
- [chuckles]

- Oh, my gosh,
I just got it.

Is there something
in the oven?

- Um, not exactly.

- Oh, so do you guys
all work together?

- We used to.

- Ah, we don't have
to talk about work.

- Oh, my God!

Have you heard about Zane's
new publishing house?

Mercury?

The god of profit and trickery--
it is so Zane.

- Yeah, I heard about the, uh--
the Audrey Colbert book.

That was a, uh...
I was surprised.

Um, is there more wine?
- Oh, yeah, sure.

- On top of all the stress
of being a brand-new publisher,

I also get to deal with Zane
targeting all my authors.

- Ooh.

Ooh, ooh, I just got
a really big hit of it again.

Oh, it's like a garlic knot.
- Yes!

You guys have a garlic knot
haunting your apartment.

- Oh, my God.
- Or escargot.

- I love escargot.

- [whispering]
People are smelling me.

- [whispering]
It's okay. It's natural.

- You know, Kelsey,
about Zane...

that--that's just business.

I'm sure it's not personal.

- Well, then you clearly
don't know Zane very well,

because he's up to something,
and he's not working alone,

but he wants to
make it seem like he is.

- Yeah, it is strange.

Someone is clearly
giving him money.

- I know, but who?

Who is it?

Seriously, who is it?

- It's me!
I'm the garlic knot.

Beth stuck a whole clove
up my pussy.

- It's plant medicine.

And I think it smells fine.

- Maggie!
- Oh, my God.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- It's what you're
doing to me, doing to me

Turning it
upside down, yeah

- Hey.

Is there something
you're not telling me?

- Yeah. You know, in a--
in a lot of circles,

Bronwyn's books are known as,
uh, matron lit.

Uh, so it--it probably
wouldn't be a good fit

for Millennial anyway.

Good night, Liza.

- Charles...

I have lied to a lot of people
for a long time,

and I know what it looks like.

I saw you with Zane.

I know you mortgaged
the town house,

and I think you're
behind Mercury.

[dramatic music]

- I never wanted
to give up publishing.

I wanted to be with you.

And I wanted to keep
the company going,

so I had to make choices.

- So you are behind Mercury.

Why didn't you just tell me?
- I'm sorry, Liza.

I was planning to tell you.

I was looking
for the right time.

To be honest,
this whole thing

took off a lot faster
than expected.

- But I don't understand.
Millennial is your company.

- No, it's my dad's company.

I wanted to build
something of my own.

And this...

this was my chance...

to take a risk,
to--to reinvent myself.

If anyone
can understand that...

it's you.

- You cannot be
on the board of Millennial

and run a competing
publishing house.

- I just need some time
to figure it out.

Until that time...

can this stay between us?

- You mean don't tell Kelsey.
- Not anyone.

[emotional pop music]

Just for now.

[upbeat music]

- Hey.
- Don't come too close.

I'm still off-gassing.
- [chuckles] What a night.

- [sighs] At least your date
didn't try to stuff you

like a cocktail olive.

[cell phone clicking, bloops]

[cell phone vibrates]

- Hey.
- I can't text, I'm running.

Bronwyn tweeted that
she has a meeting

at Suffolk House this morning,
and I know it's with Zane.

I'm running to intercept, okay?
- Wait.

- I'm going underground.
Just meet me there.

- Kelsey. Kelsey!
Shit. Damn it!

- Um...

uh, okay, bye!

- Who you gotta be

What you gotta do

What you gotta say?

If you gotta bend too far
to please

You're gonna break

- Bronwyn.
- What are you doing here?

- [sighs]

I know that you're meeting
with other publishing houses.

And I just want you
to make the right choice.

That's not Mercury.

- Yeah, I suppose
the right choice is Millennial?

- Yes.

We are a company run by women

who want important women's
voices to be heard--your voice.

What is Mercury?
Who is Mercury?

- Hey, there!
- The cavalry is here.

- Kelsey, can I talk to you
for a minute?

- Yes. Sit down.

Honestly, Bronwyn,
not to take away from your work,

but Zane is out to steal
our authors, all right?

He's a former employee
who has a personal vendetta

against our company.

- She didn't come here
to see Zane.

- I'm pretty sure she did.

- No, I don't know Zane
from a wart on my butt.

I came here to see Charles.

- What the--
[chair scrapes]

- Oh, God.

- You're the money
behind Mercury?

- Kelsey, if you just give me--
- Did you know about this?

- I just found out.
I was coming to tell you.

- You're the Chairman
of the Board.

You're working
against your own company?

You're working against me?
- Wow, this is interesting.

- Could we talk outside?

- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- No.

No, you know what?

Bronwyn should know who she's
getting into business with.

A man who is
by your side one minute

and then the next trying
to steal your authors.

My hair is falling out because
of you and because of you.

I hope you know who you're
getting into business with

because I sure as hell didn't.

- Liza, wait.
- Is this you figuring it out?

- Bronwyn reached out to me.

- He called your books
"matron lit."

[peppy rock music]

- Oh, oh, oh, oh

I got a feeling, come on

You know there's
something between us

L-O-V-E

Why you never giving it up?

- Hi, Gemma!
[giggles]

Are you sure it's a good idea
to have her in the studio?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The buzzing needles actually
put her right to sleep.

It's been amazing.
[both chuckle]

I have learned so much
in the last two days.

Like, she loves walks...

loves being read to.

- "The Hung Juror"?
- Yeah.

- Is this what
you've been reading her?

- Okay, look, Kelsey brought
home a bunch of senior erotica.

Here, listen to this.

"Frank held Cathy as she waved
good-bye to her grandkids.

His tumescence growing."

[whispering]
Look at her eyes.

- [laughs]
- Are you kidding me with this?

She loves it!

- Well, thanks
for looking after her.

- Yeah.
I mean...

I'm her dad, you know,
not her babysitter.

- I know.

- [chuckles]

Hey, um...

Look, so...

[chuckles awkwardly]

I know we're getting
a divorce, and...

we're going to deal
with custody stuff, but...

I really want
to be in her life full-time.

[dramatic music]

Or at least
equally split time.

And, uh...

I want sleepovers
on a regular basis.

Let's just figure out

this whole
parenting thing together, okay?

- That'd be great, actually.

Just...

don't bring her down
to the studio anymore.

[chuckles]
- Deal.

- My hair is falling out
because of you and you!

Everyone is going
to see this video.

- It's just Publisher's Lunch.

- It's also trending
on Reddit.

- You know what?

Charles is the one
that looks bad, not me.

He's completely
in the wrong here.

Say something.

- Bronwyn, who apparently
does think we're peers,

is staying put.

- Really?
- Yeah!

- She said anyone who fights

for her like you did,
she's sticking with.

- Okay.
Now, that is some good news.

- So--
- Why are you two looking

at me like
my eyebrows fell off?

[gasps]
Oh, my God, did they?

- No, gosh, of course not.

I got calls from three agents

and emails
from another handful.

They're all making noise
about moving their clients

from Millennial...

to Mercury.

They don't care
that Charles is in the wrong.

They want the gray hair
in the room.

- No. I'm calling an emergency
board meeting. He can't do that!

- Charles resigned
from the board

about an hour ago.

- He did?

What does that mean?

- That he's officially
our competition now.

- This is a woman's world

We're strong,
and we're taking the world