All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 05x22 - Cheaters

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:06,604 ♪ Thank you for being a friend 2 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:09,207 ♪ Traveled down the road and back again 3 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,077 ♪ Your heart is true 4 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:17,014 ♪ You're a pal and a confidante 5 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,218 ♪ And if you threw a party 6 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:25,557 ♪ Invited everyone you knew 7 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:30,028 ♪ You would see the biggest gift would be from me 8 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,830 ♪ And the card attached would say 9 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:36,534 ♪ "Thank you for being a friend" ♪ 10 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,533 Morning. Morning, honey. 11 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,569 I had the strangest dream last night. 12 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,571 I was at a baseball game. 13 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:17,809 Charlie Brown was pitching and Schroeder was behind the plate. 14 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:22,714 And Lucy and Snoopy were in the outfield and they wouldn't let me play. 15 00:01:24,416 --> 00:01:26,651 When I woke up I was crying. 16 00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:29,654 What do you suppose it all means? 17 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:32,724 Peanuts envy? 18 00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:39,364 Good morning. Hey, you got home pretty late last night. 19 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,699 When I went to bed you still weren't in. 20 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,201 I was up all night with Mel Bushman, 21 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,404 having one of our "where is this relationship going?" talks. 22 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,139 And where is it going? 23 00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:51,509 Where it usually goes - room 506 at the Quality Court. 24 00:01:53,779 --> 00:01:55,880 Oh, I hate him. 25 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,549 God, if only he didn't wanna talk. 26 00:02:01,687 --> 00:02:04,922 Oh, by the way, right after I got in, you got a phone call. 27 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,924 Oh... From a Glen somebody. 28 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:08,193 Glen O'Brien? Uh-huh. 29 00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,661 Did he leave a number? Who's Glen O'Brien? 30 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:14,599 He's the married guy she shacked up with four years ago. 31 00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:16,468 Look, I'm not proud of what I did, 32 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,903 but it didn't seem so bad at the time. 33 00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,738 He was trapped in a bad marriage. 34 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,241 There's no such thing as being trapped in a marriage. 35 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,742 In this country you can get divorced. 36 00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,611 In Sicily there was no divorce. 37 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,914 If you wanted to end a marriage, you had to resort to the lupara. 38 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,549 Is that some kind of legal loophole? 39 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,718 It's some kind of sawed-off shotgun. 40 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,622 Blanche, did he leave a number? No. 41 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,924 Dorothy, dropping him was the smartest thing you did. 42 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:42,760 What are you gonna do if he calls again? Don't talk to him! 43 00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:45,930 Why not? Four years is a long time. Maybe he's divorced. 44 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,299 Do you think? Sure. Why else would he call? 45 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,468 Stay away from him. See him. 46 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,836 Keep some self-respect. 47 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:56,174 Self-respect is for losers like Rose. 48 00:02:56,176 --> 00:03:00,078 Well, sure. You'd have some great times and some fabulous sex, 49 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,313 but is that worth your self-respect? 50 00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:04,281 Not now, loser. 51 00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:15,460 (phone rings) 52 00:03:19,197 --> 00:03:21,966 Hello. 53 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:25,002 Oh, look. I'm sorry, I'm going to have to interrupt. 54 00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:28,706 I'm sure this is a very worthy cause, but to be perfectly frank, 55 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,675 at this moment, I couldn't give a flying fig 56 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,644 about whooping cranes. 57 00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:37,048 No, I have to keep the line free. 58 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,585 Fine. I'll send you a check. Hold it, let me grab a pencil. 59 00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:44,021 OK. Whooping Cranes... 60 00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:46,357 Box 1990, 61 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,193 Newcastle, Louisiana, got it. 62 00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,262 Glad I could help. Bye-bye. 63 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,168 Blanche is taking me to the mall. Wanna come? 64 00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,205 I don't think so. You're not teaching today. It'll be fun. 65 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:03,507 No, I think I'd just rather sit here and read. 66 00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:05,109 (phone rings) 67 00:04:08,447 --> 00:04:10,281 Hello. 68 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:14,719 Oh, hi. Yes, I heard you called. What a pleasant surprise. 69 00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:17,055 Well... I'm pretty sure I can make it. 70 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,024 Just let me check my book. 71 00:04:26,498 --> 00:04:30,135 I seem to be clear. 72 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,703 He must have asked her out this century. 73 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,374 Where? 74 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:39,778 Fine. Fine, all right. Bye-bye. 75 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,179 What did he say? 76 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,082 He said he had something important to talk about. 77 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,952 Oh, that's my favorite lie. 78 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,754 Dorothy, you'll be sorry. 79 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,322 Ma, come on. We liked each other. 80 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,992 He's a funny, warm, giving man. 81 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,360 He made me laugh. I am seeing him. 82 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,229 All right. Go ahead, meet your adulterer, 83 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,698 but remember you were brought up a lady. 84 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,933 Keep both your feet on the floor. 85 00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:07,805 I'd go better change. Blanche, what should I wear? 86 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,540 If you're gonna keep both feet on the floor 87 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:12,543 something you can pull off over your head. 88 00:05:24,723 --> 00:05:26,257 I don't care what that salesgirl said. 89 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,594 I looked good in that bathing suit. 90 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,964 You know, sometimes I wish I did live in Brazil. 91 00:05:36,368 --> 00:05:37,935 Excuse me, 92 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,403 did one of you ladies drop this? 93 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:42,106 Is there any money in it? Uh-huh. 94 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:45,309 I dropped it. 95 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:49,380 Sophia, you did nothing of the kind. A lot of money in here. 96 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,849 That does look a little bit like Sophia's wallet. 97 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,686 It's a man's wallet. Did either of you see who did drop it? 98 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,522 Afraid not, no. There's over $2,000 in here. 99 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:02,326 Whoever lost this must be found. We should turn it in to lost and found. 100 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,862 Wait a minute! You're gonna give that money to a guy 101 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,633 who makes two bucks an hour watching umbrellas? 102 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:12,503 That's a good point. Besides, there's no ID in here. 103 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:16,107 What if we put a notice in the newspaper? After a certain amount of time, 104 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,842 if nobody claimed the wallet, then we could-- 105 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,044 Split it. Then we could split it. 106 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:24,315 I know that is what I would want people to do if I lost my wallet. 107 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,685 Sure. Hold it. Who's gonna keep the money? 108 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,353 I don't know you well enough to trust you. 109 00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:33,424 And her I know. So we got a problem. 110 00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,126 This is off-the-top-of-my-head stuff, 111 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,461 but maybe we're too close to the problem. 112 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,697 Maybe we should ask somebody who doesn't have a stake in this. 113 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,766 Maybe they could find a solution. Dumb idea? 114 00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:44,102 It's worth a try. 115 00:06:47,906 --> 00:06:49,873 How about that nun over there? 116 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:53,444 What if she guilts us into giving it to charity? 117 00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:56,113 I think we can agree that that's the last thing we wanna do. 118 00:06:56,115 --> 00:07:00,284 On the other hand, she is a shopping nun. She could be OK. 119 00:07:02,354 --> 00:07:05,056 Excuse me. Sister. Yes. 120 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,625 These ladies and I found a wallet with money in it. 121 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,194 But until the rightful owner shows up to claim it, 122 00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,797 we were wondering where we could put it so it'd be safe. 123 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,466 In a bank? But whose bank? 124 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:18,135 Couldn't you open a joint account in all your names? 125 00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:20,939 I don't know. See, I really don't know these people. 126 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,442 Well, maybe you could both put up equal amounts of your own money 127 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,211 to show mutual good faith and open up an account. 128 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:28,579 If the money isn't claimed, 129 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,348 you could withdraw it and split it. 130 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:33,150 If it is, at least you've made some interest. 131 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:36,387 Oh, that sounds too complicated. 132 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:40,391 I think it would work. I'd certainly be willing to put up $2,000 of my money 133 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:43,394 if you two would put up $1,000 each. 134 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:48,199 Thank you so much for your help, sister. Go with God. 135 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,902 Sophia, I just don't know. Come on. 136 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,004 Dorothy's bank is right over there. 137 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,873 She lets me draw on her account. 138 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,640 If he's honest enough to put up his money, 139 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,776 we should be willing to do the same. 140 00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,479 I guess it seems fair. OK. 141 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,615 Great. Let's go. 142 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,218 Sophia. Remember, found money is supposed to be spent on something frivolous, 143 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,887 something you would never buy for yourself. 144 00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,889 What are you gonna get? Underwear? 145 00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,837 (door bell) 146 00:08:28,573 --> 00:08:30,241 Dorothy. Hi. 147 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:33,011 You look very pretty. So do you. 148 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,545 Come in. 149 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,418 Nice place. Yeah, well... 150 00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,654 I was left a little strapped by the settlement. 151 00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,656 Can I get you something to drink? Settlement? 152 00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:49,660 The divorce settlement. I got to keep half my self-respect 153 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,463 and she got to keep everything else. 154 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,265 Anyway, that's why I had to talk to you. 155 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,700 I had to find out how you were doing. 156 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,902 I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm doing just fine. 157 00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:01,705 Maybe I will have just a glass of water. 158 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:06,910 Gee, it seems so strange not meeting you in a hotel room. 159 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:12,050 I guess I shouldn't steal the towels. 160 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,386 Ooh, towels. Yeah, I gotta put that on my shopping list. 161 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,756 Right next to "soap" and "broad with job." 162 00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:23,628 I've missed you, Dorothy. 163 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:26,564 Good water. 164 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,535 I'm having a little trouble getting used to the idea that you're divorced, 165 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,737 because I remember you told me that 166 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,072 no matter how bad the marriage was, 167 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,841 you felt that you were too old 168 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:39,744 to just leave it for an uncertain future. 169 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,746 Kidding. 170 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:45,349 No. Actually, I didn't have any choice in the matter. She divorced me. 171 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,217 What happened? She found you with someone else? 172 00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:50,587 No. She found herself with someone else. 173 00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:53,924 I can't say that I blame her. I mean, there was really nothing left between us. 174 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,393 Since things are different now, 175 00:09:56,395 --> 00:10:00,264 do you think there's any chance we could start over? 176 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,734 I don't know. I mean, you know, four years. 177 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:07,337 Is there someone else? No. 178 00:10:07,339 --> 00:10:10,875 No, there's no one else. Good. 179 00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,946 You know what's interesting? 180 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,850 I just read somewhere that the cells in the human body 181 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:23,887 completely regenerate themselves every seven years. 182 00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:26,290 Isn't that interesting? Uh-huh. 183 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:31,662 I... I guess that means that we're 40% of who we were, 184 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,530 you know, four years ago. 185 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:36,300 Dorothy. Yes. 186 00:10:42,707 --> 00:10:45,075 Actually, it's four and a half years, 187 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:49,847 so that makes it closer to 35%. 188 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:53,450 You know what? The last thing my mother said to me 189 00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:56,987 was that she wanted me to keep my feet on the floor. 190 00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,457 My mother wanted me to be a priest. 191 00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:04,128 I guess it's a bad day for mothers. 192 00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,238 Rose. 193 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,140 Hi, how did shopping go? 194 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:18,476 Great. Great. It was great. 195 00:11:20,044 --> 00:11:23,581 Really great. Best shopping ever. 196 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,149 I was just gonna make some lemonade. 197 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,385 I bet you girls could really use some. 198 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,254 (both) Great. 199 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,655 Okey-dokey. 200 00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:35,393 Sophia, remember, we swore we don't tell anybody. 201 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:39,763 Not even Dorothy? It was her money. Nobody. 202 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,032 I just couldn't stand the humiliation. 203 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,836 You want the world to know that a perfect stranger tricked us out of $2,000? 204 00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:49,240 OK, OK. I won't tell anybody. 205 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,208 You don't have to worry about me, Blanche. 206 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:55,680 No one will get a word out of me. I swear on my uncle Guido's grave. 207 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:58,816 Then the guy gave us the envelope with his money, 208 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:01,419 our money, and the found money in it. 209 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,287 Blanche and I went to open the joint account 210 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,188 and when the teller opened the envelope, 211 00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:08,725 there were just scraps of paper in it. I don't remember any more. 212 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:13,431 That's all you're gonna get from me, no matter how many times you hit me. 213 00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:19,236 Sophia, what about your uncle Guido? 214 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:24,174 He's fine. I got a postcard from him this morning. 215 00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:28,479 You two were victims of the oldest confidence game going - the pigeon drop. 216 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:31,382 But he just seemed so honest. 217 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,750 Well, that's why it's called a confidence game. 218 00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,319 He has to win your confidence 219 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,787 or you wouldn't put up the money. 220 00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:40,724 It wasn't his idea. The nun suggested it. 221 00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:44,828 She was part of the team. They always work in pairs. 222 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:48,599 I don't know what the church is coming to. 223 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,435 I thought it stopped with bingo. 224 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,471 That was no nun. 225 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:57,375 I work for a consumer protection show. 226 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,877 We've been warning people about this for months. 227 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,546 Once these scamsters have your money in an envelope, 228 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:06,417 they make a switch and you wind up with worthless paper. 229 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,253 They prey on the old and the gullible. 230 00:13:15,226 --> 00:13:18,061 Are you calling me gullible? 231 00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:19,630 No. 232 00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:28,638 There is one thing I think you should both do right away - inform the police. 233 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:29,907 Oh, forget it. 234 00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,743 The reason these confidence men don't get caught 235 00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:36,547 is because people are embarrassed to come forward and admit they were conned. 236 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,116 I'm sorry, Rose. I just can't. 237 00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:43,053 Well, perhaps this little story might make you change your mind. 238 00:13:44,689 --> 00:13:46,356 Back in St. Olaf... 239 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:53,430 there was a shepherd boy who tended his flock on the hill above the town. 240 00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:56,333 A wolf kept coming down and stealing his sheep, 241 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,535 but the boy never caught him doing it. 242 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,036 Because he never saw it happening, 243 00:14:00,038 --> 00:14:01,972 he became known around St. Olaf 244 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,241 as the boy who didn't cry wolf. 245 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,248 Anyway, one day the townspeople 246 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,651 heard the boy on the hill yelling, "Wolf, Wolf." 247 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:15,886 Well, they all figured, 248 00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:19,723 if the boy never cried wolf when the wolf was there, 249 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,758 if he yelled wolf now, 250 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,896 it stood to reason the wolf wasn't there. 251 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,934 Boy, nothing gets by you people. 252 00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:35,572 Damn straight. It was a bear. 253 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,878 A huge, ferocious, grizzly bear. 254 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,212 What happened to the boy? 255 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:46,050 He became known as the boy who cried continuously. 256 00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:56,927 I just got off the phone with Sergeant Delfino of the bunko squad. 257 00:14:56,929 --> 00:15:00,564 They picked up two people who matched the description we gave 'em. 258 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,632 They want us to come down tomorrow 259 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:05,469 and pick out nuns from a lineup. 260 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,337 That must make you feel proud. 261 00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:09,339 That's what Sergeant Delfino said. 262 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:12,876 "Why, you must feel proud knowing that by having come forth as you have, 263 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:16,913 you have possibly saved other oldsters from a similar rip-off." 264 00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:20,451 He called me an oldster. 265 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,553 I called him a pig. 266 00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:28,091 We're having dinner on Saturday. 267 00:15:30,495 --> 00:15:33,730 I really appreciate this - your meeting my mother. 268 00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:36,500 Hey, you wanna get married? 269 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,769 Instead of meeting my mother? 270 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,604 No. We can do both. 271 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,440 It's kind of sudden. 272 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,710 Think about it. I will. 273 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,180 I mean, this is something to think about. 274 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,983 OK, let's go. Oh, God, this is gonna be awful. 275 00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:54,318 I'm looking forward to this. 276 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,520 You meet the mother, it gives you a pretty good idea 277 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:59,523 what the daughter's gonna look like in 30 years. 278 00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:03,694 Only if you lock me in the drier. 279 00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,838 Everybody, this is Glen. 280 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,073 Glen, I'd like you to meet-- Don't tell me. 281 00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:20,511 Rose, Blanche and Mrs. Petrillo. 282 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:23,246 These are for you. 283 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:27,584 Cannoli? What does an Irishman know about cannoli? 284 00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,753 When I was a kid in Brooklyn, every Sunday, 285 00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:33,023 my father used to go to Zampano's bakery for cannoli. 286 00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:36,259 I never dreamed you grew up in Brooklyn. Oh, sure. 287 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:38,762 Our whole block was Irish. The other block was Italian. 288 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:42,366 We used to take turns beating each other up on the way home from school. 289 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:46,603 I think it's nice when kids take turns. 290 00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:50,641 Blanche, could I see you in the kitchen for a minute? 291 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,042 Oh, sure. 292 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:55,278 I'll be right back, Glen. I think you'll be OK. 293 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,514 So, Glen. How come you cheated on your wife? 294 00:17:00,017 --> 00:17:04,288 Wow. Straight to Final Jeopardy, huh? 295 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,925 OK. Bernice and I had been separated emotionally 296 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,660 for years when I met Dorothy, 297 00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:12,562 and right or wrong, 298 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,232 I've never been anything but grateful that that happened. 299 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,801 What else you wanna know about me? 300 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,837 Sophia, I think it's time you stopped subjecting 301 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,073 this nice man to the third degree. 302 00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,243 I had to check him out. Dorothy's a smart, attractive girl, 303 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:30,814 but when it comes to picking men, she's all thumbs. 304 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:34,585 But she's clean and she's got good teeth. 305 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,586 Cannoli? 306 00:17:38,356 --> 00:17:41,591 I had to tell somebody and I couldn't wait another minute. 307 00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:45,729 Glen asked me to marry him. Pay dirt! 308 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:49,499 Well, are you gonna do it? I haven't had time to make up my mind. 309 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:52,236 Don't dawdle. Men have a very short memory span 310 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,471 when it comes to that question. 311 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:58,608 Sometimes they forget before you can get your clothes back on. 312 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,515 Dorothy, Glen is such a charmer. 313 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,883 He and Sophia are really getting along. 314 00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:10,187 Can I tell her? Glen asked Dorothy to marry him. 315 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:12,989 Do it. Oh, marry him, Dorothy. 316 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:17,027 Even if you have to sign one of those prenatal agreements. 317 00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:26,803 Oh, I'm so happy. Am I too happy? Why am I so happy? 318 00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:29,139 Is this too good to be true? 319 00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:32,443 You are such a pessimist, always looking on the dark side. 320 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,145 A fine pessimist I'd be if I didn't. 321 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:38,248 Oh, girls. Group hug. 322 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:46,757 Ma, what are you doing up? 323 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:50,460 Just having a Maalox moment. 324 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,334 What about you? 325 00:18:57,336 --> 00:19:00,104 Thinking about Glen. This whole thing is so rushed. 326 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,405 Ma, I'm afraid. 327 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:04,174 I'm too old to make another mistake. 328 00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,209 I don't wanna make a fool out of myself. 329 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:09,947 Pussycat, you're never too old to make a fool of yourself. 330 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:14,251 Those were your exact words when I told you I lost that money and you were right. 331 00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,686 I never felt so stupid. 332 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:18,188 Of course, I would have felt more stupid 333 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:21,591 if it had been my money instead of yours. 334 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,994 Ma, what do you think I should do? 335 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,696 No one can help you with that decision, Dorothy. 336 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,632 I can't tell you what to do. 337 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,967 I mean, I won't be around forever. 338 00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,604 I'd like to know there was someone here 339 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:37,240 to love you and take care of you like you take care of me. 340 00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:40,510 Maybe he could give you a bigger allowance. 341 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,513 It's nice to buy something that's not generic. 342 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:47,317 You know what I'm saying, Dorothy? 343 00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:48,552 Yes, Ma. And it's nice, 344 00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:52,022 you saying you love me and you care. 345 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,090 No. 346 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:56,059 I'm saying buy genuine Q-Tips. 347 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,863 If I'm gonna put a stick in my ear, 348 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,698 I'd like a little cotton at the end. 349 00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:11,408 Remind me before you leave... I went back to the bakery 350 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,777 and got your mother some anis cookies. 351 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,745 You don't have to try so hard. 352 00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:20,150 To be honest, I still can't believe how much my mother liked you. 353 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:23,253 I liked her too. One thing puzzled me though. 354 00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,888 When you were all in the kitchen, 355 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:29,426 why did she keep asking me if I'd lost this wallet with 50 bucks in it? 356 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,164 My mom, the eternal girl scout. 357 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,669 You were very quiet on the way over. 358 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,370 You gave me a lot to think about. 359 00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:42,573 Oh, come on. You had to see it coming. 360 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,908 I just didn't expect it so soon. 361 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,278 So what do you say? Marry me and take me away from all this. 362 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,779 (phone rings) 363 00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:52,015 Excuse me. 364 00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:53,983 Hello. 365 00:20:53,985 --> 00:20:56,253 Oh, hello, Bernice. 366 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,822 No, I'm alone. 367 00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,958 Well, what do you want? 368 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,060 Yeah, sure. I'll sign 'em tomorrow. 369 00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:06,830 OK. Bye. 370 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,599 "I'm alone"? 371 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:14,804 It's gonna take a while for everybody to get used to this. 372 00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:18,608 So what do you say? Will you marry me? 373 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:23,213 I wanna get my life together. I'm really no good being single. Just look around. 374 00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:27,150 I am looking and listening, and I can't help but remember 375 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:29,786 that I've been in the room before 376 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,956 when your wife called and you said you were alone. 377 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:36,193 Then you were cheating on her. With you. 378 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:40,230 Yes. But I've also been Bernice and have my husband call me 379 00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:43,033 and he was always alone too. 380 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:47,337 I was married to Stanley for 38 years 381 00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:50,073 and for approximately 39 of those years, 382 00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:53,043 he cheated on me. 383 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:56,513 I told a little lie because it's gonna take her some time 384 00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,882 to get used to the idea of you and me. 385 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:02,819 Well, I'm going to need a little time to get used to it too. 386 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,989 Look, I'm... I'm not saying you're a cheat 387 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:09,693 or I'm not saying that you're like Stan. 388 00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:12,262 I don't know. Maybe there's something wrong with me. 389 00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:16,032 That I'm not trusting enough but... 390 00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:18,401 I'm gonna need some time. 391 00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:21,972 So what are you telling me? It's gonna be months or years? 392 00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,941 Or maybe never? 393 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:26,143 Dorothy, if we were both 25, I could wait 394 00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:29,079 but I need someone in my life now. 395 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:32,115 Are you sure that you wanna marry me 396 00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:34,785 or are you just afraid to be alone? 397 00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,919 Who wants to be alone? 398 00:22:36,921 --> 00:22:39,923 Nobody. I don't. 399 00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,192 But if you're marrying me 400 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,794 because I happen to be on the top of the list, 401 00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:50,066 then... maybe I shouldn't be on the list. 402 00:22:51,936 --> 00:22:54,471 So I guess this is it, huh? 403 00:22:54,473 --> 00:22:57,374 I guess so. 404 00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,777 I still love you, Dorothy. I love you too. 405 00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:10,119 If you change your mind-- If you change yours. 406 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:20,129 There's no reason why my mother shouldn't have the cookies. 32384

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