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1
00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:06,604
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:09,207
♪ Traveled down the roadand back again
3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,077
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:17,014
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,218
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:25,557
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:30,028
♪ You would seethe biggest
giftwould be from me
8
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,830
♪ And the card attachedwould say
9
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ "Thank youfor being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,533
Morning.
Morning, honey.
11
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,569
I had the strangest dream
last night.
12
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,571
I was at a baseball game.
13
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:17,809
Charlie Brown was pitching and
Schroeder was behind the plate.
14
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:22,714
And Lucy and Snoopy were in the
outfield and they wouldn't let me play.
15
00:01:24,416 --> 00:01:26,651
When I woke up I was crying.
16
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:29,654
What do you suppose
it all means?
17
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:32,724
Peanuts envy?
18
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:39,364
Good morning. Hey, you got
home pretty late last night.
19
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,699
When I went to bed
you still weren't in.
20
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,201
I was up all night
with Mel Bushman,
21
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,404
having one of our "where is this
relationship going?" talks.
22
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,139
And where is it going?
23
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:51,509
Where it usually goes -
room 506 at the Quality Court.
24
00:01:53,779 --> 00:01:55,880
Oh, I hate him.
25
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,549
God, if only
he didn't wanna talk.
26
00:02:01,687 --> 00:02:04,922
Oh, by the way, right after I
got in, you got a phone call.
27
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,924
Oh... From a Glen somebody.
28
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:08,193
Glen O'Brien?
Uh-huh.
29
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,661
Did he leave a number?
Who's Glen O'Brien?
30
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:14,599
He's the married guy she shacked
up with four years ago.
31
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:16,468
Look, I'm not proud
of what I did,
32
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,903
but it didn't seem
so bad at the time.
33
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,738
He was trapped
in a bad marriage.
34
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,241
There's no such thing
as being trapped in a marriage.
35
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,742
In this country
you can get divorced.
36
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,611
In Sicily there was no divorce.
37
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,914
If you wanted to end a marriage,
you had to resort to the lupara.
38
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,549
Is that some kind of
legal loophole?
39
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,718
It's some kind of
sawed-off shotgun.
40
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,622
Blanche, did he leave a number?
No.
41
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,924
Dorothy, dropping him was
the smartest thing you did.
42
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:42,760
What are you gonna do if he calls again?
Don't talk to him!
43
00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:45,930
Why not? Four years is a long time.
Maybe he's divorced.
44
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,299
Do you think? Sure.
Why else would he call?
45
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,468
Stay away from him.
See him.
46
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,836
Keep some self-respect.
47
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:56,174
Self-respect is for
losers like Rose.
48
00:02:56,176 --> 00:03:00,078
Well, sure. You'd have some great
times and some fabulous sex,
49
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,313
but is that worth
your self-respect?
50
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:04,281
Not now, loser.
51
00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:15,460
(phone rings)
52
00:03:19,197 --> 00:03:21,966
Hello.
53
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:25,002
Oh, look. I'm sorry,
I'm going to have to interrupt.
54
00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:28,706
I'm sure this is a very worthy
cause, but to be perfectly frank,
55
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,675
at this moment, I couldn't
give a flying fig
56
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,644
about whooping cranes.
57
00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:37,048
No, I have to
keep the line free.
58
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,585
Fine. I'll send you a check.
Hold it, let me grab a pencil.
59
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:44,021
OK. Whooping Cranes...
60
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:46,357
Box 1990,
61
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,193
Newcastle, Louisiana, got it.
62
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,262
Glad I could help. Bye-bye.
63
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,168
Blanche is taking me
to the mall. Wanna come?
64
00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,205
I don't think so.
You're not teaching today. It'll be fun.
65
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:03,507
No, I think I'd just
rather sit here and read.
66
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:05,109
(phone rings)
67
00:04:08,447 --> 00:04:10,281
Hello.
68
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:14,719
Oh, hi. Yes, I heard you called.
What a pleasant surprise.
69
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:17,055
Well... I'm pretty
sure I can make it.
70
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,024
Just let me check my book.
71
00:04:26,498 --> 00:04:30,135
I seem to be clear.
72
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,703
He must have asked
her out this century.
73
00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,374
Where?
74
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:39,778
Fine. Fine, all right.
Bye-bye.
75
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,179
What did he say?
76
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,082
He said he had something
important to talk about.
77
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,952
Oh, that's my favorite lie.
78
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,754
Dorothy, you'll be sorry.
79
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,322
Ma, come on.
We liked each other.
80
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,992
He's a funny, warm, giving man.
81
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,360
He made me laugh.
I am seeing him.
82
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,229
All right. Go ahead,
meet your adulterer,
83
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,698
but remember you were
brought up a lady.
84
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,933
Keep both your feet
on the floor.
85
00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:07,805
I'd go better change.
Blanche, what should I wear?
86
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,540
If you're gonna keep
both feet on the floor
87
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:12,543
something you can
pull off over your head.
88
00:05:24,723 --> 00:05:26,257
I don't care what
that salesgirl said.
89
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,594
I looked good
in that bathing suit.
90
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,964
You know, sometimes
I wish I did live in Brazil.
91
00:05:36,368 --> 00:05:37,935
Excuse me,
92
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,403
did one of you
ladies drop this?
93
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:42,106
Is there any money in it?
Uh-huh.
94
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:45,309
I dropped it.
95
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:49,380
Sophia, you did nothing of the kind.
A lot of money in here.
96
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,849
That does look a little bit
like Sophia's wallet.
97
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,686
It's a man's wallet.
Did either of you see who did drop it?
98
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,522
Afraid not, no.
There's over $2,000 in here.
99
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:02,326
Whoever lost this must be found.
We should turn it in to lost and found.
100
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,862
Wait a minute! You're gonna
give that money to a guy
101
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,633
who makes two bucks an hour
watching umbrellas?
102
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:12,503
That's a good point.
Besides, there's no ID in here.
103
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:16,107
What if we put a notice in the newspaper?
After a certain amount of time,
104
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,842
if nobody claimed the wallet,
then we could--
105
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,044
Split it.
Then we could split it.
106
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:24,315
I know that is what I would want
people to do if I lost my wallet.
107
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,685
Sure. Hold it.
Who's gonna keep the money?
108
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,353
I don't know you
well enough to trust you.
109
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:33,424
And her I know.
So we got a problem.
110
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,126
This is off-the-top-of-my-head
stuff,
111
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,461
but maybe we're
too close to the problem.
112
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,697
Maybe we should ask somebody who
doesn't have a stake in this.
113
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,766
Maybe they could find a solution.
Dumb idea?
114
00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:44,102
It's worth a try.
115
00:06:47,906 --> 00:06:49,873
How about that nun over there?
116
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:53,444
What if she guilts us
into giving it to charity?
117
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:56,113
I think we can agree that that's
the last thing we wanna do.
118
00:06:56,115 --> 00:07:00,284
On the other hand, she is a shopping nun.
She could be OK.
119
00:07:02,354 --> 00:07:05,056
Excuse me. Sister.
Yes.
120
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,625
These ladies and I found a
wallet with money in it.
121
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,194
But until the rightful owner
shows up to claim it,
122
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,797
we were wondering where we
could put it so it'd be safe.
123
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,466
In a bank?
But whose bank?
124
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:18,135
Couldn't you open a joint
account in all your names?
125
00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:20,939
I don't know.
See, I really don't know these people.
126
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,442
Well, maybe you could both put up
equal amounts of your own money
127
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,211
to show mutual good faith
and open up an account.
128
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:28,579
If the money isn't claimed,
129
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,348
you could withdraw it
and split it.
130
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:33,150
If it is, at least
you've made some interest.
131
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:36,387
Oh, that sounds
too complicated.
132
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:40,391
I think it would work. I'd certainly be
willing to put up $2,000 of my money
133
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:43,394
if you two would put
up $1,000 each.
134
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:48,199
Thank you so much for your help, sister.
Go with God.
135
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,902
Sophia, I just don't know.
Come on.
136
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,004
Dorothy's bank
is right over there.
137
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,873
She lets me draw
on her account.
138
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,640
If he's honest enough
to put up his money,
139
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,776
we should be willing
to do the same.
140
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,479
I guess it seems fair. OK.
141
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,615
Great. Let's go.
142
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,218
Sophia. Remember, found money is supposed
to be spent on something frivolous,
143
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,887
something you would
never buy for yourself.
144
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,889
What are you gonna get?
Underwear?
145
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,837
(door bell)
146
00:08:28,573 --> 00:08:30,241
Dorothy.
Hi.
147
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:33,011
You look very pretty.
So do you.
148
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,545
Come in.
149
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,418
Nice place.
Yeah, well...
150
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,654
I was left a little
strapped by the settlement.
151
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,656
Can I get you something to drink?
Settlement?
152
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:49,660
The divorce settlement.
I got to keep half my self-respect
153
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,463
and she got to keep
everything else.
154
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,265
Anyway, that's why
I had to talk to you.
155
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,700
I had to find out
how you were doing.
156
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,902
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm doing just fine.
157
00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:01,705
Maybe I will have
just a glass of water.
158
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:06,910
Gee, it seems so strange
not meeting you in a hotel room.
159
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:12,050
I guess I shouldn't
steal the towels.
160
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,386
Ooh, towels. Yeah, I gotta put
that on my shopping list.
161
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,756
Right next to "soap"
and "broad with job."
162
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:23,628
I've missed you, Dorothy.
163
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:26,564
Good water.
164
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,535
I'm having a little trouble getting
used to the idea that you're divorced,
165
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,737
because I remember
you told me that
166
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,072
no matter how bad
the marriage was,
167
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,841
you felt that you were too old
168
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:39,744
to just leave it
for an uncertain future.
169
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,746
Kidding.
170
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:45,349
No. Actually, I didn't have any choice
in the matter. She divorced me.
171
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,217
What happened?
She found you with someone else?
172
00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:50,587
No. She found herself
with someone else.
173
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:53,924
I can't say that I blame her.
I mean, there was really nothing left between us.
174
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,393
Since things are different now,
175
00:09:56,395 --> 00:10:00,264
do you think there's any
chance we could start over?
176
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,734
I don't know.
I mean, you know, four years.
177
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:07,337
Is there someone else?
No.
178
00:10:07,339 --> 00:10:10,875
No, there's no one else.
Good.
179
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,946
You know what's interesting?
180
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,850
I just read somewhere
that the cells in the human body
181
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:23,887
completely regenerate themselves
every seven years.
182
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:26,290
Isn't that interesting?
Uh-huh.
183
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:31,662
I... I guess that means
that we're 40% of who we were,
184
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,530
you know, four years ago.
185
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:36,300
Dorothy.
Yes.
186
00:10:42,707 --> 00:10:45,075
Actually, it's four
and a half years,
187
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:49,847
so that makes it closer to 35%.
188
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:53,450
You know what?
The last thing my mother said to me
189
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:56,987
was that she wanted me
to keep my feet on the floor.
190
00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,457
My mother wanted me
to be a priest.
191
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:04,128
I guess it's a bad day
for mothers.
192
00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,238
Rose.
193
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,140
Hi, how did shopping go?
194
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:18,476
Great. Great.
It was great.
195
00:11:20,044 --> 00:11:23,581
Really great.
Best shopping ever.
196
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,149
I was just gonna
make some lemonade.
197
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,385
I bet you girls
could really use some.
198
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,254
(both) Great.
199
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,655
Okey-dokey.
200
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:35,393
Sophia, remember, we swore
we don't tell anybody.
201
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:39,763
Not even Dorothy?
It was her money. Nobody.
202
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,032
I just couldn't
stand the humiliation.
203
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,836
You want the world to know that a perfect
stranger tricked us out of $2,000?
204
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:49,240
OK, OK.
I won't tell anybody.
205
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,208
You don't have to worry
about me, Blanche.
206
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:55,680
No one will get a word out of me.
I swear on my uncle Guido's grave.
207
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:58,816
Then the guy gave us
the envelope with his money,
208
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:01,419
our money,
and the found money in it.
209
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,287
Blanche and I went
to open the joint account
210
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,188
and when the teller
opened the envelope,
211
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:08,725
there were just scraps of paper in it.
I don't remember any more.
212
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:13,431
That's all you're gonna get from me,
no matter how many times you hit me.
213
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:19,236
Sophia, what about
your uncle Guido?
214
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:24,174
He's fine. I got a postcard
from him this morning.
215
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:28,479
You two were victims of the oldest
confidence game going - the pigeon drop.
216
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:31,382
But he just seemed so honest.
217
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,750
Well, that's why it's called
a confidence game.
218
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,319
He has to win your confidence
219
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,787
or you wouldn't
put up the money.
220
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:40,724
It wasn't his idea.
The nun suggested it.
221
00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:44,828
She was part of the team.
They always work in pairs.
222
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:48,599
I don't know what
the church is coming to.
223
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,435
I thought it stopped
with bingo.
224
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,471
That was no nun.
225
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:57,375
I work for a consumer
protection show.
226
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,877
We've been warning people
about this for months.
227
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,546
Once these scamsters
have your money in an envelope,
228
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:06,417
they make a switch and you
wind up with worthless paper.
229
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,253
They prey on the old
and the gullible.
230
00:13:15,226 --> 00:13:18,061
Are you calling me gullible?
231
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:19,630
No.
232
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:28,638
There is one thing I think you should
both do right away - inform the police.
233
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:29,907
Oh, forget it.
234
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,743
The reason these confidence
men don't get caught
235
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:36,547
is because people are embarrassed to
come forward and admit they were conned.
236
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,116
I'm sorry, Rose.
I just can't.
237
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:43,053
Well, perhaps this little story
might make you change your mind.
238
00:13:44,689 --> 00:13:46,356
Back in St. Olaf...
239
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:53,430
there was a shepherd boy who tended
his flock on the hill above the town.
240
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:56,333
A wolf kept coming down
and stealing his sheep,
241
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,535
but the boy never
caught him doing it.
242
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,036
Because he never
saw it happening,
243
00:14:00,038 --> 00:14:01,972
he became known around St. Olaf
244
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,241
as the boy who didn't cry wolf.
245
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,248
Anyway, one day the townspeople
246
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,651
heard the boy on the hill
yelling, "Wolf, Wolf."
247
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:15,886
Well, they all figured,
248
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:19,723
if the boy never cried wolf
when the wolf was there,
249
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,758
if he yelled wolf now,
250
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,896
it stood to reason
the wolf wasn't there.
251
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,934
Boy, nothing
gets by you people.
252
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:35,572
Damn straight.
It was a bear.
253
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,878
A huge, ferocious,
grizzly bear.
254
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,212
What happened to the boy?
255
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:46,050
He became known as the boy
who cried continuously.
256
00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:56,927
I just got off the phone with
Sergeant Delfino of the bunko squad.
257
00:14:56,929 --> 00:15:00,564
They picked up two people who matched
the description we gave 'em.
258
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:01,632
They want us
to come down tomorrow
259
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:05,469
and pick out nuns
from a lineup.
260
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,337
That must make you feel proud.
261
00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:09,339
That's what
Sergeant Delfino said.
262
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:12,876
"Why, you must feel proud knowing that
by having come forth as you have,
263
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:16,913
you have possibly saved other
oldsters from a similar rip-off."
264
00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:20,451
He called me an oldster.
265
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,553
I called him a pig.
266
00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:28,091
We're having dinner
on Saturday.
267
00:15:30,495 --> 00:15:33,730
I really appreciate this -
your meeting my mother.
268
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:36,500
Hey, you wanna get married?
269
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,769
Instead of meeting my mother?
270
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,604
No. We can do both.
271
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,440
It's kind of sudden.
272
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,710
Think about it.
I will.
273
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,180
I mean, this is something
to think about.
274
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,983
OK, let's go.
Oh, God, this is gonna be awful.
275
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:54,318
I'm looking forward to this.
276
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,520
You meet the mother,
it gives you a pretty good idea
277
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:59,523
what the daughter's
gonna look like in 30 years.
278
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:03,694
Only if you lock me
in the drier.
279
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,838
Everybody, this is Glen.
280
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,073
Glen, I'd like you to
meet-- Don't tell me.
281
00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:20,511
Rose, Blanche
and Mrs. Petrillo.
282
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:23,246
These are for you.
283
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:27,584
Cannoli? What does an Irishman
know about cannoli?
284
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,753
When I was a kid in
Brooklyn, every Sunday,
285
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:33,023
my father used to go to
Zampano's bakery for cannoli.
286
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:36,259
I never dreamed you grew up in Brooklyn.
Oh, sure.
287
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:38,762
Our whole block was Irish.
The other block was Italian.
288
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:42,366
We used to take turns beating each
other up on the way home from school.
289
00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:46,603
I think it's nice
when kids take turns.
290
00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:50,641
Blanche, could I see you
in the kitchen for a minute?
291
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,042
Oh, sure.
292
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:55,278
I'll be right back, Glen.
I think you'll be OK.
293
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,514
So, Glen. How come
you cheated on your wife?
294
00:17:00,017 --> 00:17:04,288
Wow. Straight
to Final Jeopardy, huh?
295
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,925
OK. Bernice and I had been
separated emotionally
296
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,660
for years when I met Dorothy,
297
00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:12,562
and right or wrong,
298
00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,232
I've never been anything but
grateful that that happened.
299
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,801
What else you wanna
know about me?
300
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,837
Sophia, I think it's time
you stopped subjecting
301
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,073
this nice man
to the third degree.
302
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,243
I had to check him out.
Dorothy's a smart, attractive girl,
303
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:30,814
but when it comes to picking
men, she's all thumbs.
304
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:34,585
But she's clean
and she's got good teeth.
305
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,586
Cannoli?
306
00:17:38,356 --> 00:17:41,591
I had to tell somebody and I
couldn't wait another minute.
307
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:45,729
Glen asked me to marry him.
Pay dirt!
308
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:49,499
Well, are you gonna do it?
I haven't had time to make up my mind.
309
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:52,236
Don't dawdle. Men have
a very short memory span
310
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,471
when it comes to that question.
311
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:58,608
Sometimes they forget before you
can get your clothes back on.
312
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,515
Dorothy, Glen is such a charmer.
313
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,883
He and Sophia
are really getting along.
314
00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:10,187
Can I tell her?
Glen asked Dorothy to marry him.
315
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:12,989
Do it. Oh, marry him, Dorothy.
316
00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:17,027
Even if you have to sign one
of those prenatal agreements.
317
00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:26,803
Oh, I'm so happy. Am I too happy?
Why am I so happy?
318
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:29,139
Is this too good to be true?
319
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:32,443
You are such a pessimist,
always looking on the dark side.
320
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,145
A fine pessimist
I'd be if I didn't.
321
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:38,248
Oh, girls. Group hug.
322
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:46,757
Ma, what are you doing up?
323
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:50,460
Just having a Maalox moment.
324
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,334
What about you?
325
00:18:57,336 --> 00:19:00,104
Thinking about Glen.
This whole thing is so rushed.
326
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,405
Ma, I'm afraid.
327
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:04,174
I'm too old to make
another mistake.
328
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,209
I don't wanna make
a fool out of myself.
329
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:09,947
Pussycat, you're never too old
to make a fool of yourself.
330
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:14,251
Those were your exact words when I told
you I lost that money and you were right.
331
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,686
I never felt so stupid.
332
00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:18,188
Of course, I would
have felt more stupid
333
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:21,591
if it had been my money
instead of yours.
334
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,994
Ma, what do you think
I should do?
335
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,696
No one can help you
with that decision, Dorothy.
336
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,632
I can't tell you what to do.
337
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,967
I mean, I won't
be around forever.
338
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,604
I'd like to know
there was someone here
339
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:37,240
to love you and take care of you
like you take care of me.
340
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:40,510
Maybe he could give you
a bigger allowance.
341
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,513
It's nice to buy something
that's not generic.
342
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:47,317
You know what I'm saying,
Dorothy?
343
00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:48,552
Yes, Ma. And it's nice,
344
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:52,022
you saying you love me
and you care.
345
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,090
No.
346
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:56,059
I'm saying
buy genuine Q-Tips.
347
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,863
If I'm gonna put
a stick in my ear,
348
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,698
I'd like a little
cotton at the end.
349
00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:11,408
Remind me before you leave...
I went back to the bakery
350
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,777
and got your mother
some anis cookies.
351
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,745
You don't have to try so hard.
352
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:20,150
To be honest, I still can't believe
how much my mother liked you.
353
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:23,253
I liked her too.
One thing puzzled me though.
354
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,888
When you were
all in the kitchen,
355
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:29,426
why did she keep asking me if I'd
lost this wallet with 50 bucks in it?
356
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,164
My mom, the eternal girl scout.
357
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,669
You were very quiet
on the way over.
358
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,370
You gave me a lot
to think about.
359
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:42,573
Oh, come on.
You had to see it coming.
360
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,908
I just didn't
expect it so soon.
361
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,278
So what do you say?
Marry me and take me away from all this.
362
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,779
(phone rings)
363
00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:52,015
Excuse me.
364
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:53,983
Hello.
365
00:20:53,985 --> 00:20:56,253
Oh, hello, Bernice.
366
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,822
No, I'm alone.
367
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,958
Well, what do you want?
368
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,060
Yeah, sure.
I'll sign 'em tomorrow.
369
00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:06,830
OK. Bye.
370
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,599
"I'm alone"?
371
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:14,804
It's gonna take a while for
everybody to get used to this.
372
00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:18,608
So what do you say?
Will you marry me?
373
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:23,213
I wanna get my life together.
I'm really no good being single. Just look around.
374
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:27,150
I am looking and listening,
and I can't help but remember
375
00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:29,786
that I've been
in the room before
376
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,956
when your wife called
and you said you were alone.
377
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:36,193
Then you were cheating on her.
With you.
378
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:40,230
Yes. But I've also been Bernice
and have my husband call me
379
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:43,033
and he was always alone too.
380
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:47,337
I was married to Stanley
for 38 years
381
00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:50,073
and for approximately
39 of those years,
382
00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:53,043
he cheated on me.
383
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:56,513
I told a little lie because
it's gonna take her some time
384
00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,882
to get used to the idea
of you and me.
385
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:02,819
Well, I'm going to need a little
time to get used to it too.
386
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,989
Look, I'm...
I'm not saying you're a cheat
387
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:09,693
or I'm not saying
that you're like Stan.
388
00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:12,262
I don't know. Maybe there's
something wrong with me.
389
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:16,032
That I'm not
trusting enough but...
390
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:18,401
I'm gonna need some time.
391
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:21,972
So what are you telling me?
It's gonna be months or years?
392
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,941
Or maybe never?
393
00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:26,143
Dorothy, if we were
both 25, I could wait
394
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:29,079
but I need someone
in my life now.
395
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:32,115
Are you sure
that you wanna marry me
396
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:34,785
or are you just afraid
to be alone?
397
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,919
Who wants to be alone?
398
00:22:36,921 --> 00:22:39,923
Nobody. I don't.
399
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,192
But if you're marrying me
400
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,794
because I happen to be
on the top of the list,
401
00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:50,066
then... maybe I shouldn't
be on the list.
402
00:22:51,936 --> 00:22:54,471
So I guess this is it, huh?
403
00:22:54,473 --> 00:22:57,374
I guess so.
404
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,777
I still love you, Dorothy.
I love you too.
405
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:10,119
If you change your mind--
If you change yours.
406
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:20,129
There's no reason why my mother
shouldn't have the cookies.
32384
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