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1
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*
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00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,767
(whooping)
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00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,100
CECE: Slay Model Management
is the world's first
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transgender model agency.
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00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,033
DOMINIQUE:
They want a girl
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00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:10,100
that's six two,
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00:00:10,133 --> 00:00:12,000
35-25-35.
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00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:14,300
They didn't ask
if you have a penis or not.
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00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,500
You're ashamed of me.
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00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:23,667
I know.
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00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:26,167
This is like the difficult
conversation I need
to have with you.
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00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,067
It it my lips?
They're too big?
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00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:29,167
It's the nose.
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00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,833
Why does America
hate black people?
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00:00:30,867 --> 00:00:31,800
CASSANDRA:
Get in the car.
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Do you even want to be a model?
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00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,033
How many times...
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00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:36,233
(guests gasping)
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00:00:36,267 --> 00:00:37,933
ISIS: I'm not here
for no (bleep) like this.
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00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:39,467
Why would I want
to be around that?
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00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:42,300
This is (bleep) ridiculous.
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00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,133
REN:
Don't trip.
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00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:45,767
ARISCE:
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,633
ARISCE:
Ren's walk
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00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:49,467
always disappoints me.
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00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,567
(laughs)
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00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,233
I need you more than ever,
Dominique.
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00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:55,200
I'm leaving New York.
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00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:58,900
I am not going to be ten years
down the road doing dishes.
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00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,133
I don't date.
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00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,600
I met this girl.
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00:01:03,633 --> 00:01:05,267
Did Gisele tell you
I'm transgender?
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00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,467
No.
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*
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* Give it up to my women
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00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:38,500
* Packing in 40-something hours
every damn weekend *
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00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,567
* Give it up to my girls
all around the world. *
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00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:50,133
So, like...
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00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,233
explain to me...
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00:01:53,567 --> 00:01:55,300
...what happened?
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00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:56,533
(sighs heavily)
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00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:59,367
After the drink hit my face,
I turned around,
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00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,300
I felt like... as crazy
44
00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:03,700
as it sounds,
I felt like Carrie in...
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00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:05,100
in, you know,
like, the blood.
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00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:06,967
I just... I-I lost it.
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00:02:07,067 --> 00:02:10,067
It was just, like,
I kind of blacked out.
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00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:13,267
Cece asked me to host
the model mixer for Slay.
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00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:16,400
At the party, I got
in an argument with Claudia,
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00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:19,067
which is completely
not how it was supposed to go.
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00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,167
You can't even show up
to a booking.
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00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:21,900
How many times...
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00:02:22,933 --> 00:02:24,200
(guests gasping)
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00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:29,333
I'm really disappointed
in myself.
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00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:31,433
People already
don't take us serious
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00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:34,633
because we're an all
transgender modeling agency.
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00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:38,167
There's not a lot of room
for mistakes like this.
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00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,400
What would most people have done
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00:02:39,433 --> 00:02:41,067
if a drink was thrown
in their face?
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00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,300
You leave. When
somebody is crazy
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00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:46,167
and attacking you...
you leave.
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00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,067
That is what normal
people would do.
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00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,800
You're right.
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00:02:50,833 --> 00:02:52,633
There's Isis.
I'll be right with you.
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00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:55,067
CECE:
It's very important
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00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:57,067
for an agency
to survive the first year,
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00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,233
because this is where you're
building your reputation.
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00:02:59,267 --> 00:03:01,500
And...
69
00:03:01,533 --> 00:03:03,967
all-transgender model agency,
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00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:05,067
you have to work doubly hard.
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00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,367
There's a lot
I got it. Okay, thank you.
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00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,067
of damage control now.
Hi.
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00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,233
ISIS: Hello.
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00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:11,433
How are you?
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00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:12,767
I'm okay.
How are you?
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00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,900
I'm good.
I'm not really okay, but...
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00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:18,433
So, that was a (bleep) show.
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00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:20,067
Yeah. I was really
just shocked
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00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,867
and disappointed
and embarrassed.
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00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:26,533
It wouldn't be so bad if
I didn't move across the country
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00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:29,067
with my savings
to, like,
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00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:30,400
take my career
to the next level.
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00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:31,433
And that's all I have.
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00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:33,167
I don't like
to surround myself
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00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,900
in that type of company,
you know?
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00:03:34,933 --> 00:03:36,067
Right. No, trust me,
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00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,333
I apologize for that.
88
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:38,900
ISIS:
I'm new to the agency.
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00:03:38,933 --> 00:03:40,400
Seeing the fight between
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00:03:40,433 --> 00:03:42,667
Cassandra and the model
at-at Slay,
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00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,600
it pisses me off,
because I don't want to be
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00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:46,433
around the environment where I'm
not gonna know what the hell
93
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:49,300
the next person is gonna do,
and you could technically
94
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:50,967
be affecting our work.
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00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:53,133
I don't have
a choice to... fail,
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00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:56,133
and the fact that
I'm kind of leaning on you
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00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:58,400
Right.
to help that happen,
you know,
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00:03:58,433 --> 00:03:59,400
it's a gamble.
99
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:02,867
I'm really sorry.
100
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:03,933
The only way is
up from here.
101
00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:04,967
You know what I mean?
102
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:06,333
There's this go-see
for you.
103
00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:09,167
Okay.
Once you get
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00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,500
your first L.A. paycheck,
105
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:12,233
all that crazy
from last night,
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00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,133
that'll disappear.
107
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:14,800
Yeah.
108
00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,233
Are we okay?
Are you feeling better?
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00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:17,867
I feel better.
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00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:20,700
But, you know, for me it's like,
okay, we said it, let's see.
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00:04:20,733 --> 00:04:22,300
After the meeting with Cece,
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00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,867
I feel like he definitely
is a little bit more aware
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00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,400
of my feelings
and what I want
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00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,500
out of the agency.
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00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:30,300
But actions definitely speak
louder than words.
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00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:31,600
And I want to see
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00:04:31,633 --> 00:04:33,133
what happens with Slay.
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00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:36,800
*
119
00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,200
Thank you!
120
00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:44,400
Yay!
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00:04:44,433 --> 00:04:45,667
Fantastic.
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00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:46,867
Well, cheers.
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00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,067
Cheers.
Cheers
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00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:51,400
to actually drinking this wine
instead of throwing it.
125
00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:53,500
Oh, good one.
Yes!
Anyway...
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00:04:53,533 --> 00:04:55,200
Cece, like,
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00:04:55,233 --> 00:04:58,167
a couple weeks ago said
I had to lose weight.
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00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,600
Me, too. I'm just kidding.
I know he's bugging you...
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00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,367
He didn't tell me that.
Shut up.
130
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,300
I know he's been...
I know he's been bugging
you about your nose.
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00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,700
The last time I talked to Cece,
he talked to me
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00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:12,333
about going to see Dr. Pincus
about getting a nose job.
133
00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:15,067
And although I was reluctant,
I'm going to go ahead
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00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:18,067
and bite the bullet, because Ren
got yet another job over me.
135
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,700
Maybe it would enhance
my career.
136
00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:23,500
Maybe it would get me the jobs
that I wanted. You know,
137
00:05:23,533 --> 00:05:25,067
maybe this is
the time to do that.
138
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,633
I made the appointment.
What?
139
00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,867
It's a consultation.
So you came around.
140
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:32,200
Yes. But it's
a business transaction.
141
00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:34,900
It's not because I'm like,
"I hate my face."
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00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:35,967
Because I don't.
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00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:37,167
So we'll see.
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00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:40,367
*
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00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:47,467
(phone rings)
146
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:48,467
(line ringing)
147
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:51,200
Hi, Cece.
Hi, Dominique.
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00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:53,100
What's going on?
Well, you remember
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00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:54,900
I threw this model mixer
150
00:05:54,933 --> 00:05:57,167
last night?
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00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,633
It turned into
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00:05:58,667 --> 00:05:59,833
a (bleep) show, really.
153
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,167
And it was really,
really embarrassing.
154
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:11,533
Dominique is one of my models
who I really, really trust.
155
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,400
She comes with such
a wealth of knowledge.
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00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:16,833
She's been in the industry,
and she has a killer walk.
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00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:18,533
That's why I really want her
to join me.
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00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:20,533
I didn't call just to vent.
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00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,933
Uh-huh.
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00:06:27,433 --> 00:06:28,900
Excuse me?
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00:06:28,933 --> 00:06:30,533
You know that the L.A. market,
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00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:32,333
there's a lot
of commercial work
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00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:35,067
that will really widen
your growth as a model, and...
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00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,433
You can mentor
the younger models.
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00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,333
Hell, yeah.
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00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:49,700
Do you know you
just asked me to, like...
167
00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:51,067
move to L.A.?
168
00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:53,300
Like... wow.
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00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:55,933
Being transgender has made it
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00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:57,967
so hard to...
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00:06:58,067 --> 00:07:00,733
get the mainstream success,
and...
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00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,833
this is a major opportunity
for me.
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00:07:02,867 --> 00:07:06,067
How much time do I have
to talk to my man?
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00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:13,767
My husband is not good
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00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,500
(laughs)
with things being shaken up.
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00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:19,567
I do everything for this guy.
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00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,133
In the past 18 years, the
longest that we have been apart
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00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:24,100
is ten days.
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00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:26,200
He's not gonna be too happy.
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00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:28,067
*
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00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,667
GISELE:
So, what's up with you?
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00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,367
Let's talk about dating.
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00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,733
Are you with someone now?
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00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,567
I have... someone, yes.
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00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,800
Yeah? How long have
you guys been together?
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00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,300
For a while.
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00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:42,900
What's up with
your dating?
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00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:44,067
Like, what are you doing?
189
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:45,067
Who are you seeing?
Like, what's up?
190
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,367
I met Gisele
Nobody.
191
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,300
through some friends of mine.
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00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:51,100
Gisele can definitely relate
to my hesitations about dating,
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00:07:51,133 --> 00:07:52,933
um, as she is trans herself.
194
00:07:52,967 --> 00:07:54,433
I don't date.
195
00:07:54,467 --> 00:07:57,133
Why?
'Cause I don't want to.
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00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:58,633
It's a waste of time.
197
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,367
You think so? Why?
198
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,600
I don't like
to deal with people.
199
00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:03,533
Everyone has baggage.
I have my own baggage.
200
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,533
Before I transitioned,
201
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,567
I was dating women.
202
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,700
I haven't dated anyone
203
00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:08,333
since I started my transition
204
00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:09,900
two years ago,
because I'm not comfortable.
205
00:08:09,933 --> 00:08:10,933
I'm still getting used
206
00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:13,467
to being in my own body.
207
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,367
I'm not necessarily
208
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,933
as confident as maybe
someone else would be,
209
00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:20,567
had they been
210
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,667
born male.
211
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:25,367
GISELE:
But you know what?
I met this girl.
212
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,100
I think that
you guys...
213
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,367
might hit it off.
She's really nice, though.
214
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,767
Like, why don't you just try,
try to date.
215
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,067
See, like...
216
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,067
see your options.
Like, you haven't
217
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,833
tried it for a while, right?
You said two years ago.
218
00:08:38,867 --> 00:08:40,133
Like, was the... was
your last relationship.
219
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,600
Like, two and a half
or so, yeah.
220
00:08:41,633 --> 00:08:43,167
I think that's a
long time, Laith.
221
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,267
I think it's time
for you to see.
(laughs)
222
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,933
I don't know if I'm
ready yet. It's just...
223
00:08:47,967 --> 00:08:49,367
What did you tell this girl?
224
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,367
I told her that
I know this guy
225
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,267
that I think she would be
attracted to, he's very cute,
226
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,567
handsome...
(laughs)
227
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,100
Uh-huh?
228
00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:00,367
And she said...?
And you're gonna go
on a date with her.
229
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,733
Did you set this up
already?
Yes, I did.
230
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:03,800
I'm gonna kill you.
231
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,133
No, you're not.
(laughs): Yeah.
232
00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:06,533
I think I'm pretty lucky
to have
233
00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:07,633
all these strong women around me
234
00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,267
to help push me
out of my comfort zone.
235
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,700
And the cover shoot
for Attitude magazine
236
00:09:11,733 --> 00:09:13,167
made me feel
a lot more confident.
237
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,933
Maybe Gisele is right
about dating,
238
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,367
and it might be that time for me
239
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,433
to give it a try again,
especially if she's as cute
240
00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:21,100
as Gisele says she is.
241
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:22,433
At the end of the
day, the worst
242
00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:24,767
that can happen is that you
don't talk to her again.
243
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,933
So you're gonna
go, right?
244
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:29,367
All right.
Okay.
245
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,533
(laughs)
246
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:35,967
* You and me up and away...
247
00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:40,067
Cece called me and asked me
248
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:42,500
if I would like to move to L.A.
249
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:44,867
to work as a part
of Slay Model Management
250
00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:47,433
and still model
at the same time.
251
00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:50,200
But I'm extremely nervous
252
00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:53,067
about telling my husband.
253
00:09:54,067 --> 00:09:55,733
How was work?
254
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:57,167
Better.
255
00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,267
I have had a long day.
256
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,367
Mm-hmm.
257
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,600
Yes.
258
00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:05,867
I walked Scooty.
259
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:08,500
I did all my housewife duties.
260
00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:10,367
How long have we been together?
261
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,867
Hmm...
262
00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,867
It's been 18 years.
263
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,933
18 long years...
Mm-hmm.
264
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,333
of me always being
there for you,
265
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:21,833
taking care of you...
266
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,500
It's just that...
267
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:31,533
I'm leaving New York.
268
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,767
REN:
Don't trip.
269
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:37,867
ARISCE:
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
270
00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:41,133
Did Gisele tell you
I'm transgender?
271
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,000
DOMINIQUE:
I'm leaving New York.
272
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:51,967
For a while.
273
00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:56,300
Cece...
274
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:58,767
has offered me...
275
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,400
a job in L.A.
276
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:01,467
Moving to L.A.
277
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,233
is not really up for discussion.
278
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:05,533
I see a great future,
279
00:11:05,567 --> 00:11:07,867
and hopefully Al is coming
with, or else
280
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,733
I'm just gonna have
to drag him along.
281
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:14,433
Maybe I should've ordered
a drink.
282
00:11:20,267 --> 00:11:22,233
(sighs)
283
00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,933
I don't know.
284
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:26,767
(sighs)
285
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,967
I was hoping that you
would be kind of happy for me.
286
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,367
To do what?
287
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,500
To just be your little wife?
288
00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:38,767
This is a great opportunity
289
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,133
for us.
290
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,467
And I am not going
to be that person
291
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:45,600
ten years down the road
and know that this
292
00:11:45,633 --> 00:11:47,500
could have turned out
to be something incredible
293
00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:50,133
and here I am still sitting
at home doing dishes.
294
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,667
I make sure
that you're always okay.
295
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,200
But...
296
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,833
I have an opportunity,
297
00:11:55,867 --> 00:11:58,400
and I'm going to take it.
298
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:04,300
* I was livin' in a melody...
299
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,633
Thank you.
300
00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:10,333
Do I want to get a nose job?
301
00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:12,067
Hell, nah.
302
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,533
But do I want to lose
another job to some
303
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,967
Cindy Lou Who bitch
304
00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:18,067
who can't do her job
as good as I can?
305
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,100
No.
306
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,267
Hi.
ARISCE: Hi.
307
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,333
Nice to meet you. Hello.
308
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,967
I'm Arisce.
Good to see you, Arisce.
309
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:25,767
Yes.
I'm thinking of this
310
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,933
as a business decision.
311
00:12:26,967 --> 00:12:29,967
Is it going to get me
to where I want to be?
312
00:12:30,067 --> 00:12:31,400
At, like, a Gisele-Naomi level?
313
00:12:31,433 --> 00:12:33,067
Like, that's the goal.
314
00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:36,600
I guess we're here to discuss
possible nasal surgery.
315
00:12:36,633 --> 00:12:37,400
Yes.
316
00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:38,933
My agent has concerns
317
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,500
it's affecting
my work, I guess.
318
00:12:40,533 --> 00:12:41,767
He's telling me,
319
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,533
like, I should
probably get my nose done.
320
00:12:43,567 --> 00:12:45,733
I'm just trying to see
if it's something I should do.
321
00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:47,767
What would you change about it?
322
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,800
Like, I guess refine the tip.
I'd like it to, like...
323
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,667
Right.
sort of still be ethnic-looking.
324
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,067
When I look in the mirror,
I see a lot of history.
325
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,633
My nose is the same exact nose
as my mom,
326
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:59,233
my sisters, as my aunts--
we all have the same nose.
327
00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:02,133
My mom is just the baddest
bitch ever, and my aunts
328
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:03,967
are strong black women, too--
it's just
329
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:05,367
a strong black woman powerhouse.
330
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,700
If I get a nose job,
I'm literally cutting myself
331
00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:11,900
off from a lineage
of strong black women.
332
00:13:11,933 --> 00:13:13,533
What I'll do is I'll take
some photos of you,
333
00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:15,100
and then we can
go ahead and...
334
00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:16,567
and morph it
for you.
Okay.
335
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,800
Okay, let me grab
my camera.
336
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:20,333
I'm excited
337
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,467
to see the before
and after pictures,
338
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,067
because if he shows me a face
339
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,367
that I can't refuse,
here we go.
340
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,067
It's on to a new step
in my career,
341
00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:31,200
it's on to a new chapter
in my whole life.
342
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:32,333
Because I'm not gonna see
343
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:33,667
the same person
in the mirror anymore.
344
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,800
*
345
00:13:38,833 --> 00:13:41,533
CECE:
So, everyone, I want you to meet
346
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:43,067
Donald Simrock
and Gitte Meldgaard.
347
00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,667
They're with VVV Magazine,
348
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,467
and they're casting
for a fashion editorial
349
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,467
with Richie Rich.
350
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,367
I got a call from Richie Rich
351
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,333
and he needed four models,
352
00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:53,900
and he specifically wanted
trans models.
353
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:57,100
Aligning ourselves with
a designer like Richie Rich
354
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,967
is a good thing for the agency.
355
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:01,633
Because Richie Rich
is all over the damn place--
356
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:03,833
he does work here
and in New York--
357
00:14:03,867 --> 00:14:06,067
he just decided
to have the go-see here
358
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,667
with his photographer
and the art director
359
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:08,933
of the magazine.
360
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:10,267
So, we'll just do
one at a time.
361
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,867
Freshman.
(laughs)
Hi.
362
00:14:15,733 --> 00:14:17,933
I know.
I'm so jealous.
363
00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:19,200
I need this right now.
364
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,633
I need to know
that this first gig
365
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:23,533
is gonna be there to, like,
get that paycheck
366
00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:25,133
and start me here
367
00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:27,500
as a established L.A. model.
368
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,267
Perfect. Who's next?
369
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:30,400
Ren, right?
Ren, yes.
370
00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:31,867
Yes.
Hi.
371
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:34,900
I usually kind of don't like
go-see's at the agency
372
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,733
because it kind of puts
a little bit
373
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:38,367
of a competitive atmosphere
around.
374
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,067
You're walking in front
of everybody else.
375
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:42,367
Everybody else can see you.
376
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,133
Can you do me a favor
and just walk for us?
377
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:45,067
No problem.
378
00:14:49,733 --> 00:14:50,767
(snickering)
379
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,500
ARISCE:
Ren's walk always
380
00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:54,367
disappoints me.
381
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,567
She walks like Bambi
382
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,067
when he first got up.
383
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:58,467
She wouldn't even understand
that reference--
384
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,367
she's so young.
385
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,133
Bambi is a baby deer, Ren.
386
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,800
And that's what
you look like in heels, girl.
387
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:05,867
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
388
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,533
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
389
00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:08,933
Okay, here I go.
390
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:09,867
REN:
Don't trip.
391
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:11,767
ARISCE: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Or do.
392
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:15,133
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
393
00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:16,900
This is my book.
How are you?
394
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:18,100
Thank you.
395
00:15:22,633 --> 00:15:24,667
ISIS:
I think Arisce's walk is
396
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,767
a little overconfident and...
397
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,433
sloppy.
398
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,933
Thank you.
Thanks.
399
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,133
ARISCE:
Who's next?
400
00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:42,700
Hi. How are you?
Good. My name is Isis.
401
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,867
Isis. Nice to meet you.
Thank you
for bringing your book.
402
00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:55,233
Beautiful
bone structure.
Mm-hmm.
403
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:56,800
Although I'm starting over,
I don't want people
404
00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:58,100
to get anything confused.
405
00:15:58,133 --> 00:15:59,767
I'm a professional.
406
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,867
I know more about this industry
407
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:05,067
than I'm sure, like,
95% of the new models at Slay.
408
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,400
ARISCE: I don't see Isis
as competition at all,
409
00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:09,800
because we're
completely different.
410
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,667
She's America's
Next Top Model girl,
411
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:12,967
resting on laurels.
412
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,167
I'm selling personality,
413
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,867
and she's selling the past.
414
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:19,433
God!
415
00:16:19,467 --> 00:16:20,933
I hate her (bleep) walk!
416
00:16:20,967 --> 00:16:23,300
*
417
00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:27,433
DOMINIQUE:
Oh, baby boy...
418
00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:29,500
(sighs)
419
00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:31,533
Saying good-bye to my husband
420
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:34,500
and my son is not an easy thing.
421
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:36,400
*
422
00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:39,800
Al is not very supportive
of me leaving him,
423
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,500
but this is
an amazing opportunity for me
424
00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:43,833
and I have to take it.
425
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:45,167
Listen, Scooty.
426
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,400
You have to take care
of Daddy, okay?
427
00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:48,633
(whines)
428
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,167
I feel like I'm being selfish;
429
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,133
I feel like I'm deserting them.
430
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,300
Don't forget to brush his teeth.
431
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:55,800
(sniffles)
432
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,833
Okay?
433
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:02,267
(sniffles)
434
00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:08,800
(sighs)
435
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:09,833
(sniffles)
436
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:16,267
So... I'm really gonna
miss you guys and, um...
437
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:17,267
(sniffles)
438
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:18,567
...just take care
of him, okay?
439
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:19,633
All right.
440
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,300
Love you.
441
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,300
I love you.
442
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,433
(sniffles)
443
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,933
Could you please not cry?
444
00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:27,233
(whining)
445
00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:28,400
And just
remember:
446
00:17:28,433 --> 00:17:29,767
this is for us.
447
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,067
Okay?
448
00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:32,367
For all of us.
449
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,633
You want a backyard, right?
450
00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:34,767
(whines)
451
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:35,733
That's why I'm doing this.
452
00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:36,867
Okay?
453
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:39,833
(Scooter whines)
454
00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:45,667
(whining)
455
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,367
When is the last time
you had sex?
456
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,700
Mine was about,
like, 20 minutes...
457
00:17:55,733 --> 00:17:57,067
on this couch.
That's why...
458
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,733
(laughing)
459
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,100
Of course I did!
460
00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:04,967
Thank you.
461
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:10,233
*
462
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,433
Is that Dominique?
463
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:15,767
Let me get your bags.
464
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,767
Dominique!
465
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,067
DOMINIQUE: I'm staying with
Cassandra while I'm in L.A.
466
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,833
and I'm really looking forward
to that
467
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,900
'cause I need to relate
to someone
468
00:18:23,933 --> 00:18:25,167
that understands me.
469
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,533
Oh, my goodness.
(laughs)
470
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:29,100
I missed y'all.
This is incredible.
471
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,067
Breathe.
You look fabulous.
472
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:33,233
You look fabulous.
Hello, beautiful.
473
00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:34,800
DOMINIQUE:
How are you?
474
00:18:34,833 --> 00:18:36,333
Oh, my gosh.
475
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:37,933
(phone ringing)
476
00:18:37,967 --> 00:18:38,667
Hey.
477
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,533
DOMINIQUE:
Cece calls
478
00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,467
and asks me if I would like
479
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,400
to meet the models at Slay
480
00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:47,900
tomorrow and teach
the younger models
481
00:18:47,933 --> 00:18:48,967
how to walk.
482
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,633
Oh, wow.
483
00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:52,300
Okay. Bye-bye.
484
00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:54,433
Oh, I'm back in L.A.
485
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,700
*
486
00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:02,433
CECE:
All right, ladies.
487
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:03,800
So, welcome.
488
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:05,700
You know, some of you have
worked with Dominique already
489
00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,100
and I'm so excited
490
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:08,667
to have her here.
491
00:19:10,267 --> 00:19:11,833
She's our official
runway coach now.
492
00:19:11,867 --> 00:19:13,167
So I'm gonna
let you at it.
493
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,167
I love you, Cece.
494
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,333
Love you. Welcome.
495
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,633
DOMINIQUE:
Thank you.
496
00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:18,767
So, walking is
about personality.
497
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,067
When you walk
into a room,
498
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,833
you must
attract attention.
499
00:19:22,867 --> 00:19:25,367
If you all will stand, please?
500
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,133
Joining management
and modeling
501
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,300
is like an ultimate dream,
502
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,300
because now I get
503
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,300
to shape other people.
504
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:34,900
Eyes up. Head up.
505
00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:35,967
Shoulders back.
506
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:36,967
Confident.
507
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:39,100
You own everything.
508
00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,400
* Don't see no
509
00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:45,467
* Competition...
510
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,467
Next two!
511
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,300
*
512
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,233
DOMINIQUE:
There is added pressure
513
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:52,967
for a trans model to perform,
514
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,933
because anything we do
515
00:19:54,967 --> 00:19:56,933
will and can be ridiculed.
516
00:19:56,967 --> 00:19:58,133
Take a deep breath in.
517
00:19:58,167 --> 00:19:59,533
(inhales)
518
00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:00,633
And keep your head up.
519
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:02,933
Left, right,
520
00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:04,233
left, right...
521
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:06,667
A trans model has to make sure
that they are
522
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:07,933
beyond perfect.
523
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:10,333
They must be on point,
524
00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:12,833
because you're constantly
being judged.
525
00:20:12,867 --> 00:20:15,333
I want you guys
to also see
526
00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,367
another example.
527
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:18,967
*
528
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,600
ARISCE: I actually love
being at Slay Models
529
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:25,200
because of
530
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:27,167
things like Dominique
teaching there
531
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,000
and then the younger girls
being able
532
00:20:29,033 --> 00:20:30,200
to be mentored
by the older girls.
533
00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:31,433
DOMINIQUE:
Now, I want you
534
00:20:31,467 --> 00:20:32,800
to watch the sass
535
00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:34,833
and I want you to watch
her feet.
536
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,000
*
537
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:38,167
Thank you.
538
00:20:39,733 --> 00:20:41,000
You ladies did
really, really,
539
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,233
really great job today.
540
00:20:42,267 --> 00:20:43,500
(applause)
I'm really proud of you.
541
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,367
You should be proud
of yourselves.
542
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,300
If I see other people succeed,
543
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:50,000
that kind of brings me
a lot of joy.
544
00:20:50,033 --> 00:20:51,167
(laughing):
So...
545
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,500
I'm-I'm really loving
this experience.
546
00:20:53,533 --> 00:20:55,567
So practice, practice, practice.
547
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,633
If you want something,
work for it.
548
00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:59,633
Thank you.
You're welcome.
549
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,167
Thank you.
550
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,567
* One, having too much fun *
551
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,267
* And we won't stop
until the sun come two *
552
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:08,133
* What I want to do is three,
two, one, hey. *
553
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,367
DOMINIQUE:
Hey, Cass?
554
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,433
Yeah?
555
00:21:10,467 --> 00:21:13,300
What time is Isis
getting here?
556
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,700
She should be here.
Any minute.
557
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,433
So I'm finally gonna have
a girls' night with Dominique.
558
00:21:18,467 --> 00:21:20,067
I'm actually super excited.
559
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:21,633
Sit, sit, sit. Sit.
Okay.
560
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:23,700
CASSANDRA:
I still feel
561
00:21:23,733 --> 00:21:25,600
incredibly disappointed
562
00:21:25,633 --> 00:21:28,333
and bad about what happened
at the party.
563
00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:30,533
Cece, that's not right!
564
00:21:32,633 --> 00:21:33,667
That is insane.
565
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:36,167
ISIS:
This is (bleep) ridiculous.
566
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,667
ISIS: Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Hey! (laughs)
567
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:40,067
What's up?
568
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:41,067
ISIS:
How are you?
You look cute.
569
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,733
I'm good, thank you.
You, too.
570
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,333
Hey, look at you,
looking all...
Hey, how are you doing?
571
00:21:44,367 --> 00:21:46,133
You look fabulous.
classy.
572
00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:48,700
I really, really want
to make it up to Isis
573
00:21:48,733 --> 00:21:50,200
and show another side to me.
574
00:21:50,233 --> 00:21:54,100
Show her that I'm not
some crazy chick throwing drinks
575
00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:55,967
or taking 'em in the face.
576
00:21:56,067 --> 00:21:58,600
Ooh, those shoes
are off the hook.
577
00:21:58,633 --> 00:21:59,600
Make sure you put
your glass down.
Girl...
578
00:21:59,633 --> 00:22:00,667
I don't want you
to throw anything.
579
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:01,933
I didn't
throw anything.
580
00:22:01,967 --> 00:22:03,067
I was over the whole
581
00:22:03,067 --> 00:22:04,867
agency after that happened.
582
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,300
DOMINIQUE:
If this is occurring
583
00:22:06,333 --> 00:22:09,833
at the agency,
how are we gonna get booked?
584
00:22:09,867 --> 00:22:12,067
I do feel ashamed,
and if there's any way
585
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:15,067
I can rectify the situation,
I apologize, Isis,
586
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,933
because it was pretty
traumatic for you.
587
00:22:17,967 --> 00:22:19,233
And I'm sorry.
588
00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:23,600
When Cassandra apologizes, I do
589
00:22:23,633 --> 00:22:26,267
have a little bit more warmth
in my heart.
590
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:28,467
It's confirmation
that things are gonna be better.
591
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:31,633
I just got a place here,
I just got a car here.
592
00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:33,167
Next is a man.
593
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,900
I might come off,
like, bland or boring,
594
00:22:34,933 --> 00:22:37,300
but I haven't had sex
in, like, almost two years.
595
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:38,967
Wh... two years?
596
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,400
I don't get it.
597
00:22:40,433 --> 00:22:41,900
These models sell clothes
598
00:22:41,933 --> 00:22:43,767
and sex,
and nobody has sex?
599
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,700
Come on! Hit it home!
600
00:22:45,733 --> 00:22:47,100
In my last relationship,
601
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:48,400
I end up moving in with him.
602
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,167
It was my abusive relationship.
603
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,400
Like, I don't know.
604
00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:53,867
I just kind of know
the direction I want.
605
00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:55,433
I know you can't, like,
plan everything out,
606
00:22:55,467 --> 00:22:56,867
but I know the direction
I want to go
607
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:58,600
and what I want
out of a relationship
608
00:22:58,633 --> 00:23:00,967
and what I want
in the future, and
609
00:23:01,067 --> 00:23:02,533
I might come off
like bland or boring,
610
00:23:02,567 --> 00:23:05,100
but I really want
to, like...
There is nothing wrong
611
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:08,067
I'm kind of traditional.
with not wanting to throw your
stuff around all the time.
612
00:23:08,067 --> 00:23:09,700
Right. But...
613
00:23:09,733 --> 00:23:11,167
But there was a time
in my life that
614
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,467
I was very like you.
615
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:13,767
My first love--
he literally,
616
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,700
like, broke my heart.
617
00:23:15,733 --> 00:23:17,967
And then after that,
the bad girl came out.
618
00:23:18,067 --> 00:23:19,167
I was, like, "Oh, no.
619
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,100
I'm gonna be the aggressor."
620
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:24,100
A lot of men find us
more like fetishes.
621
00:23:24,133 --> 00:23:25,400
Yeah.
Yes.
You know?
622
00:23:25,433 --> 00:23:27,333
And...
Or something
to try once.
623
00:23:27,367 --> 00:23:28,500
Yeah.
Yeah.
624
00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:30,967
It's not that I don't enjoy sex.
625
00:23:31,067 --> 00:23:32,600
It's just that
I am not comfortable
626
00:23:32,633 --> 00:23:34,967
because I am not post-operative.
627
00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:36,900
CASSANDRA:
Post-op
628
00:23:36,933 --> 00:23:40,733
is when someone has
completed their surgery.
629
00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:42,800
Basically, if you started off
with an outie,
630
00:23:42,833 --> 00:23:45,700
now you have an innie,
or vice-versa.
631
00:23:45,733 --> 00:23:48,267
For me, I do not
like myself as I am.
632
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:51,133
Oh, yeah.
I cannot be comfortable
with myself.
633
00:23:51,167 --> 00:23:54,267
I cannot be comfortable
totally with my husband.
634
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,633
So, since you don't
feel comfortable,
635
00:23:56,667 --> 00:23:58,067
you want to have
surgery then?
636
00:23:58,100 --> 00:23:59,267
Yeah, I do.
Oh, wow.
637
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:01,433
As soon as I can, I will.
638
00:24:01,467 --> 00:24:03,333
Some of the most horrible times
639
00:24:03,367 --> 00:24:06,300
for me is taking a shower
640
00:24:06,333 --> 00:24:08,367
because you have to see yourself
in its entirety.
641
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,300
It's not about
what my husband wants.
642
00:24:10,333 --> 00:24:13,500
It's about me being able
to be totally free
643
00:24:13,533 --> 00:24:15,133
and comfortable with him.
644
00:24:15,167 --> 00:24:17,167
And until that occurs,
645
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,867
I will always feel like
I'm lacking in certain areas.
646
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,867
So, for me, being complete
647
00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:25,900
means being post-operative.
648
00:24:25,933 --> 00:24:27,367
And for another girl,
649
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,067
being complete could just mean
taking her hormones.
650
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,200
Let me tell you-- masturbation.
651
00:24:33,233 --> 00:24:36,433
I was really...
I've always liked to do it,
652
00:24:36,467 --> 00:24:38,733
but before having my operation,
653
00:24:38,767 --> 00:24:41,567
after every time, I would feel
so guilty, I would cry.
654
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,133
CASSANDRA: Yeah. Right.
Because I just had
that disconnect with my part.
655
00:24:45,167 --> 00:24:47,667
But after the surgery,
656
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:50,100
I-I can do it all the time,
657
00:24:50,133 --> 00:24:51,700
and then, I don't
feel bad about it.
658
00:24:51,733 --> 00:24:53,933
See? That's the point
I want to get to.
659
00:24:53,967 --> 00:24:55,733
CASSANDRA:
I definitely feel
660
00:24:55,767 --> 00:24:58,400
a lot closer to Isis
and Dominique
661
00:24:58,433 --> 00:25:00,867
over relationship issues.
662
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:03,233
I think it's a universal thing
663
00:25:03,267 --> 00:25:07,867
that brings people together--
love, or the search for it.
664
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:10,233
When is the last time
you had sex?
665
00:25:10,267 --> 00:25:12,833
Oh, my gosh, like, the last time
I was back with my husband.
666
00:25:12,867 --> 00:25:15,233
Mine was about, like, 20
minutes before you got here
667
00:25:15,267 --> 00:25:16,467
on this couch.
That's why...
668
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:19,267
(laughing)
669
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:21,300
*
670
00:25:21,333 --> 00:25:22,767
* Put it down on me, baby
671
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,833
* Bring it up fast,
drop it down real slow... *
672
00:25:24,867 --> 00:25:27,467
ISIS:
How do you guys think you did
at the Richie Rich go-see?
673
00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:29,200
The same as usual.
674
00:25:29,233 --> 00:25:30,667
I nailed it.
(laughs)
675
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:32,500
I think I did all right.
676
00:25:32,533 --> 00:25:33,500
Yeah?
677
00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:35,067
That was my first
casting, like,
678
00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:36,700
straight on casting
with Slay,
679
00:25:36,733 --> 00:25:38,133
so I think
it went good.
680
00:25:38,167 --> 00:25:40,767
We had a casting
for a Richie Rich editorial.
681
00:25:41,967 --> 00:25:43,833
Perfect.
Thank you, Isis.
Awesome.
Thank you.
682
00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:45,600
Have a great one.
683
00:25:45,633 --> 00:25:47,867
I'm not trying to put down
any of the other models,
684
00:25:47,900 --> 00:25:49,333
but I know I nailed that go-see.
685
00:25:50,433 --> 00:25:51,933
I just, um, moved
686
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:53,367
into my apartment.
Nice.
687
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,167
Oh, congrats.
And, so,
688
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,067
booking something right away
is really important for me.
689
00:25:57,067 --> 00:25:59,200
L.A. is a whole new beast
690
00:25:59,233 --> 00:26:00,733
and I don't know--
I don't know how
691
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:01,733
it's gonna be for
me out here...
692
00:26:01,767 --> 00:26:03,067
(phone buzzing)
Oh, give me a second.
693
00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:04,467
ARISCE:
She is not taking a phone call.
694
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,367
(bleep) rude.
695
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,833
(chuckles)
Rude!
696
00:26:07,867 --> 00:26:09,300
Must be important.
697
00:26:12,667 --> 00:26:14,200
Who was that?
698
00:26:14,233 --> 00:26:15,900
Cecilio.
Your girlfriend? Oh.
699
00:26:15,933 --> 00:26:17,100
What did he want?
700
00:26:17,133 --> 00:26:18,300
Got it.
701
00:26:18,333 --> 00:26:20,067
The job?
Richie Rich.
702
00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:21,400
Boom, boom.
Yay!
703
00:26:21,433 --> 00:26:22,767
Good for you.
High-five.
704
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,533
Work it out,
bitch.
705
00:26:24,567 --> 00:26:26,500
(phone chirps)
706
00:26:26,533 --> 00:26:27,867
Hello, Cecilio.
707
00:26:29,267 --> 00:26:30,433
I'm amazing.
708
00:26:33,167 --> 00:26:34,767
Okay. I...
709
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:35,900
Oh!
710
00:26:35,933 --> 00:26:36,967
Thank you.
711
00:26:37,067 --> 00:26:38,367
(laughs)
Cece, I'm here, too.
712
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:39,900
This is Isis.
713
00:26:39,933 --> 00:26:41,900
Any good news for me?
714
00:26:43,933 --> 00:26:46,567
We are on speaker.
715
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,933
CECE:
Oh... Isis...
716
00:26:55,067 --> 00:26:56,167
Wow. Okay.
717
00:26:58,567 --> 00:26:59,567
CECE:
Bye, ladies.
718
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,633
That sucks.
719
00:27:01,667 --> 00:27:04,267
Hearing that
I didn't book this editorial
720
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:07,833
pisses me off.
I need this right now.
721
00:27:07,867 --> 00:27:09,967
Is it just a trans agency?
722
00:27:10,067 --> 00:27:11,800
Yeah. It's just trans.
723
00:27:11,833 --> 00:27:14,067
What would you feel about
going to another agency?
724
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:16,267
Hey, Ma.
I'm gonna go out tonight.
725
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:18,400
I'm really nervous
about this blind date.
726
00:27:18,433 --> 00:27:20,533
I don't know if she knows
that I'm trans.
727
00:27:25,067 --> 00:27:26,367
*
728
00:27:27,867 --> 00:27:30,667
CECE: So we're here at
the shoot for Richie Rich
729
00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:32,167
for VVV Magazine.
730
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,500
It's really important.
731
00:27:33,533 --> 00:27:35,633
We don't get a shoot like this
every day.
732
00:27:35,667 --> 00:27:37,467
It's just the reality
of things.
733
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:39,467
So they have to deliver.
734
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,067
That's why Dom and I are here.
735
00:27:41,067 --> 00:27:42,233
Arisce, true to form,
736
00:27:42,267 --> 00:27:44,300
is the consummate professional.
737
00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:47,167
And Ren being Ren,
I have to make sure
738
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,433
that she behaves.
739
00:27:48,467 --> 00:27:49,600
REN:
Every time I blink,
740
00:27:49,633 --> 00:27:50,867
a small child
741
00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:52,400
falls over in Russia.
742
00:27:52,433 --> 00:27:53,667
What's wrong?
743
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:54,633
These (bleep) lashes.
744
00:27:54,667 --> 00:27:55,467
(laughs)
745
00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:57,133
(breathes rapidly)
746
00:27:57,167 --> 00:27:58,867
This is a great look for you,
though.
747
00:27:58,900 --> 00:28:01,067
It is extremely important
for Ren
748
00:28:01,067 --> 00:28:03,333
to learn the disciplines
749
00:28:03,367 --> 00:28:05,267
of this business.
750
00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:07,400
It seems at times
like she just doesn't care.
751
00:28:07,433 --> 00:28:08,633
What are you doing?
752
00:28:08,667 --> 00:28:09,833
You told me to
wait for hair.
753
00:28:09,867 --> 00:28:11,067
I'm waiting for hair.
754
00:28:11,067 --> 00:28:12,333
Ren, you can't just, like,
755
00:28:12,367 --> 00:28:13,800
lay around and then sleep,
756
00:28:13,833 --> 00:28:15,667
and put your feet up.
Put it down.
757
00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:19,467
Can you just be a lady
for one second?
758
00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:21,667
(snores)
And this is why
I need you here.
759
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,433
DOMINIQUE: There are about
a hundred other girls
760
00:28:23,467 --> 00:28:25,933
that are waiting for that job.
761
00:28:25,967 --> 00:28:27,567
There are so many other girls.
762
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:28,967
If she doesn't
pull it together,
763
00:28:29,067 --> 00:28:32,300
someone else is going
to be there to take over.
764
00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:33,367
All right, Ren, love-love,
765
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,367
we're ready for you.
Let's do this.
766
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,200
That's better, right?
Yeah.
767
00:28:36,233 --> 00:28:37,100
I like that one.
Yeah.
768
00:28:37,133 --> 00:28:38,433
Totally.
That's gorg.
769
00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:39,800
All right,
ladies and gentlemen,
770
00:28:39,833 --> 00:28:40,833
(camera shutter clicks)
771
00:28:42,767 --> 00:28:44,400
DOMINIQUE:
I'm looking at this girl
772
00:28:44,433 --> 00:28:46,800
and she is phenomenal.
773
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:49,433
Every angle, every-every look.
774
00:28:49,467 --> 00:28:50,900
The-the shoulder,
775
00:28:50,933 --> 00:28:52,367
her bone structure.
776
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,500
She just needs to realize it.
777
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:57,833
REN: I never really thought
about being a model.
778
00:28:57,867 --> 00:28:59,900
I never even thought
I would have a chance to be one.
779
00:29:00,067 --> 00:29:02,767
Back when I was 18,
780
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,800
both my parents
lost everything,
781
00:29:04,833 --> 00:29:06,567
so I kind of lived with my dad
782
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,067
in the back of his truck
for about a year,
783
00:29:08,067 --> 00:29:11,167
not really seeing anything
for the future.
784
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,533
Feel free to give me
any direction, whatsoever--
785
00:29:13,567 --> 00:29:15,500
angrier, stronger,
softer, etc.
786
00:29:15,533 --> 00:29:16,633
But now, with all of this,
787
00:29:16,667 --> 00:29:18,333
hopefully I'll be able to
788
00:29:18,367 --> 00:29:19,533
do something out of all this,
789
00:29:19,567 --> 00:29:20,767
make something of myself.
790
00:29:23,233 --> 00:29:24,867
(purring)
This is amazing.
These look so good.
791
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:26,433
So, we're gonna put this
on the set,
792
00:29:26,467 --> 00:29:27,533
and you're gonna pose
around them...
793
00:29:27,567 --> 00:29:28,433
Ah!
794
00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:29,500
I walked for Richie Rich
795
00:29:29,533 --> 00:29:30,933
as a male model
796
00:29:30,967 --> 00:29:32,533
many, many eons ago.
797
00:29:32,567 --> 00:29:34,600
So as surreal as it is,
798
00:29:34,633 --> 00:29:35,967
it's really fun.
799
00:29:36,067 --> 00:29:37,367
I know I'm beautiful.
800
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,367
Richie Rich knows
I'm beautiful.
801
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,167
VVV Magazine definitely knows
I'm beautiful now.
802
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,467
I don't think that everyone's
supposed to have the same nose.
803
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:46,067
Go figure.
(laughs)
804
00:29:46,067 --> 00:29:47,700
One, two, three.
Yep.
805
00:29:47,733 --> 00:29:49,400
*
806
00:29:51,100 --> 00:29:52,367
I think it's trash that people
have to change their faces
807
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,500
to conform
to society's standard of beauty,
808
00:29:54,533 --> 00:29:56,133
when they already said
it was pretty.
809
00:29:59,267 --> 00:30:01,200
*
810
00:30:05,733 --> 00:30:07,300
Hello?
811
00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:08,700
Isis?
Hey.
Hello.
812
00:30:08,733 --> 00:30:10,933
I got food.
813
00:30:10,967 --> 00:30:11,933
Hi!
814
00:30:11,967 --> 00:30:13,500
Ah!
815
00:30:13,533 --> 00:30:15,867
Oh, it looks so
cute in here.
816
00:30:15,900 --> 00:30:17,967
Lisa and Naima both
won Top Model.
817
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,900
They're my two closest friends
in L.A.
818
00:30:19,933 --> 00:30:22,500
They understand the struggle
that goes behind
819
00:30:22,533 --> 00:30:24,033
a model just trying to
820
00:30:24,067 --> 00:30:25,733
succeed and live a life
821
00:30:25,767 --> 00:30:26,867
in L.A.
822
00:30:26,900 --> 00:30:29,400
I've never had to be
a "trans model."
823
00:30:29,433 --> 00:30:30,867
I've always been booked
on being
824
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:32,233
a personality.
Yeah, right.
825
00:30:32,267 --> 00:30:34,600
Is it just a trans agency?
Yeah.
826
00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:36,000
It's just trans.
827
00:30:36,033 --> 00:30:38,533
What would you feel about going
to another agency, though?
828
00:30:38,567 --> 00:30:40,967
Um, well, I really
have to give him a second
829
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,300
to really see
what he can do, you know?
830
00:30:42,333 --> 00:30:44,367
Right.
But I'm not opposed.
831
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,633
I haven't really seen
other girls at the agency, yet.
832
00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:48,800
But a lot of them can't walk.
833
00:30:48,833 --> 00:30:49,967
They should... they need
to know how to walk
834
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,667
if they're gonna be repped.
835
00:30:51,700 --> 00:30:53,467
This girl Ren,
836
00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:54,533
she's this beautiful, like,
837
00:30:54,567 --> 00:30:55,700
tall, skinny Asian.
838
00:30:55,733 --> 00:30:57,333
And the other girl,
her name is Arisce,
839
00:30:57,367 --> 00:30:59,267
and, like,
she can't walk.
840
00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:00,467
Well, she thinks
she can walk.
841
00:31:05,833 --> 00:31:07,733
(laughing)
842
00:31:07,767 --> 00:31:08,800
And she do this, like...
843
00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:11,367
(laughing)
844
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,367
I'm gonna pee my pants.
845
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,100
(laughing)
And then, she did this thing
846
00:31:14,133 --> 00:31:16,067
with her eyes,
where she's just, like,
847
00:31:16,100 --> 00:31:18,100
(laughing)
848
00:31:19,967 --> 00:31:21,367
Ooh.
It's scary.
849
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,067
Although I feel like
I'm taking a next step
850
00:31:23,067 --> 00:31:24,733
in my career, I'm definitely
851
00:31:24,767 --> 00:31:26,633
starting all over from scratch
in L.A.
852
00:31:26,667 --> 00:31:29,100
And it's just really hard,
because
853
00:31:29,133 --> 00:31:30,733
I don't know when my next job
is gonna be.
854
00:31:30,767 --> 00:31:32,967
I had a casting and...
855
00:31:33,067 --> 00:31:34,067
Oh, how did it go?
856
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:35,667
I didn't get it.
857
00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:36,700
(sighs)
So,
858
00:31:36,733 --> 00:31:38,567
that was, like,
really disappointing.
859
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,333
It's just stressful.
860
00:31:40,367 --> 00:31:42,267
Don't let that hinder
your spirit.
861
00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:43,800
You've been here
for a week,
862
00:31:43,833 --> 00:31:45,067
everything's gonna be fine.
863
00:31:45,067 --> 00:31:47,600
It's just scary. And...
864
00:31:47,633 --> 00:31:49,700
I think that's just
me overthinking
865
00:31:49,733 --> 00:31:52,067
and putting, like,
all this pressure on myself.
866
00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:55,433
But I don't really
have a option, you know?
867
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,733
I'm just worried about
868
00:32:01,767 --> 00:32:03,167
not being able
to afford my apartment.
869
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,267
You're scared
and that's totally normal,
870
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:08,200
and that's fine, but, like,
let that fuel you.
871
00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:11,800
Seriously.
872
00:32:11,833 --> 00:32:14,500
(softly):
Yeah.
873
00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,167
I can't fail. I don't...
874
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,233
There's no plan B.
875
00:32:18,267 --> 00:32:20,333
So...
876
00:32:22,433 --> 00:32:24,333
*
877
00:32:31,133 --> 00:32:32,933
Hey, Ma.
878
00:32:32,967 --> 00:32:34,200
Yeah, I just wanted
to let you know
879
00:32:34,233 --> 00:32:35,633
that I printed out the, uh,
880
00:32:35,667 --> 00:32:38,400
notes for the youth ministry,
and I left them on your dresser.
881
00:32:38,433 --> 00:32:40,267
Uh, actually, I-I'm going
to go out tonight.
882
00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:42,133
I'm going to meet up
with some friends.
883
00:32:42,167 --> 00:32:43,633
Yeah.
884
00:32:43,667 --> 00:32:45,867
This is my first real date
since my transition.
885
00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:47,100
I don't know.
I-I tell my mom a lot,
886
00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:48,467
but I don't tell her
everything.
887
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:49,767
I prefer to go through
the experience
888
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,300
before I talk about it.
889
00:32:51,333 --> 00:32:53,300
I could make my own food
if I'm hungry, you don't--
890
00:32:53,333 --> 00:32:54,833
you don't need to worry about
cooking so much food.
891
00:32:54,867 --> 00:32:55,833
All right, no problem.
892
00:32:55,867 --> 00:32:57,167
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
893
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,667
I don't talk about
relationships with my mom
894
00:32:58,700 --> 00:32:59,867
when they're developing.
895
00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:03,233
It's usually after
they're already a thing.
896
00:33:03,267 --> 00:33:06,067
Then I'll introduce...
them to her.
897
00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:07,367
*
898
00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:12,800
* This is my dream
899
00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:14,200
* I'm-a get it, I'm-a get it
900
00:33:14,233 --> 00:33:16,767
* I'm-a get it today...
901
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,800
Everyone is telling me
I need to meet new people
902
00:33:18,833 --> 00:33:20,133
I need to do new things,
903
00:33:20,167 --> 00:33:21,533
so I'm going on this blind date.
904
00:33:21,567 --> 00:33:23,600
Yeah, I'm feeling
a little nervous.
905
00:33:23,633 --> 00:33:26,133
I don't know if she knows
that I'm trans.
906
00:33:26,167 --> 00:33:27,600
I don't know what
that would be like
907
00:33:27,633 --> 00:33:30,133
to have to disclose to someone
who doesn't know.
908
00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:32,867
I'll figure it out
when I get there.
909
00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:34,067
(laughs)
910
00:33:34,067 --> 00:33:37,400
* Well, let's get it.
911
00:33:37,433 --> 00:33:40,800
It's really exciting out here.
912
00:33:40,833 --> 00:33:41,733
I am worried about my husband.
913
00:33:41,767 --> 00:33:43,700
You don't sound too happy.
914
00:33:43,733 --> 00:33:45,167
Can ask you a personal question?
915
00:33:48,967 --> 00:33:50,900
*
916
00:33:54,067 --> 00:33:56,100
DOMINIQUE:
Carmen. Oh.
917
00:33:56,133 --> 00:33:58,900
See. Oh, God.
918
00:33:58,933 --> 00:34:01,500
She's so cute.
919
00:34:01,533 --> 00:34:03,400
How was your day?
920
00:34:03,433 --> 00:34:05,400
I'm just really
in a really, like,
921
00:34:05,433 --> 00:34:07,167
happy place,
922
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,100
but yet I'm kind of conflicted
923
00:34:10,133 --> 00:34:12,167
and you know why.
Yeah.
924
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,867
'Cause of...
Your relationship.
925
00:34:13,900 --> 00:34:16,600
...my husband and
my little baby...
(kisses)
926
00:34:16,633 --> 00:34:18,167
...that's back home.
927
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,067
We'll bring it out of you.
Let me, let me go
928
00:34:20,067 --> 00:34:21,667
call him and see
what's going on.
Okay.
929
00:34:21,700 --> 00:34:22,667
Call him.
Okay.
930
00:34:22,700 --> 00:34:24,567
Get your sexy voice on.
931
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,267
(laughs)
932
00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:28,633
I feel everything
going on right now is...
933
00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:29,833
is so positive.
934
00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:32,233
It's like I'm on an uphill...
935
00:34:32,267 --> 00:34:33,567
not even climb,
936
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,833
it's like I'm on a escalator
just going up.
937
00:34:35,867 --> 00:34:38,067
But I am worried
938
00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:38,933
about my husband.
939
00:34:38,967 --> 00:34:40,500
I don't know, honestly,
940
00:34:40,533 --> 00:34:41,833
if my relationship
941
00:34:41,867 --> 00:34:44,100
will be able
to take the distance
942
00:34:44,133 --> 00:34:46,333
of me living in two cities
943
00:34:46,367 --> 00:34:49,433
and not always being at home
with him.
944
00:34:49,467 --> 00:34:50,367
Hi.
945
00:34:52,067 --> 00:34:53,333
I'm all right.
946
00:34:53,367 --> 00:34:54,533
I'm sorry
I couldn't get
947
00:34:54,567 --> 00:34:56,200
to call you
back earlier.
948
00:34:56,233 --> 00:34:58,233
It's really exciting out here.
949
00:35:00,533 --> 00:35:02,867
You don't sound too happy.
950
00:35:05,067 --> 00:35:07,433
I know, you want me
to be back home, right?
951
00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:09,800
Well, can you hang in
for a few weeks?
952
00:35:09,833 --> 00:35:11,833
You're-you're gonna be okay.
953
00:35:15,667 --> 00:35:17,900
Al, what am I gonna do with you?
954
00:35:20,667 --> 00:35:22,167
DOMINIQUE:
It really saddens me
955
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:23,400
that my husband is not excited
956
00:35:23,433 --> 00:35:25,400
about my success.
957
00:35:25,433 --> 00:35:26,267
See you later.
958
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:28,100
Bye.
Bye-bye.
959
00:35:28,133 --> 00:35:29,200
I feel like I'm being selfish;
960
00:35:29,233 --> 00:35:30,200
I feel like
961
00:35:30,233 --> 00:35:32,067
I deserted him.
962
00:35:32,067 --> 00:35:33,067
If you love him
963
00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:34,467
and he loves you,
you can make it work.
964
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:35,633
If you... but it's...
965
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:37,567
You know, for me,
it's kind of tough.
966
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,200
I've been in that housewife
position for so long...
967
00:35:40,233 --> 00:35:41,400
Yeah.
...that I'm worried
968
00:35:41,433 --> 00:35:44,133
about if he's eating,
going...
Dominique.
969
00:35:44,167 --> 00:35:45,733
You're not his mother.
970
00:35:45,767 --> 00:35:47,433
Okay? He's a full-grown man.
971
00:35:47,467 --> 00:35:50,267
Let's just
be honest, okay?
972
00:35:50,300 --> 00:35:52,167
If you don't do it now,
when are you gonna do it?
973
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,233
I mean, let's be real.
974
00:35:55,267 --> 00:35:56,600
I really hope
I don't have to choose
975
00:35:56,633 --> 00:35:58,633
between my husband
and my career.
976
00:35:58,667 --> 00:36:00,867
You know?
I do love him.
977
00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:02,267
It's just...
978
00:36:02,300 --> 00:36:04,300
(exhales)
I'm so torn.
979
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,867
*
980
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,233
LAITH: I'm about to meet
my-my blind date
981
00:36:27,267 --> 00:36:29,067
and I'm very nervous.
982
00:36:29,067 --> 00:36:30,200
This is my first date
983
00:36:30,233 --> 00:36:31,400
since my transition.
984
00:36:31,433 --> 00:36:32,700
Hi, my name is Laith.
985
00:36:32,733 --> 00:36:33,867
Hi. Nice to meet you.
986
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:35,200
I'll give you a hug.
(both laugh)
987
00:36:35,233 --> 00:36:37,267
I've never been
on a blind date before.
988
00:36:37,300 --> 00:36:40,500
By no means am I ashamed
of being transgender,
989
00:36:40,533 --> 00:36:41,500
of who I am.
990
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:43,067
How you doing?
I'm good.
991
00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:44,767
This person
992
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,667
doesn't know who I am,
I don't know who they are,
993
00:36:46,700 --> 00:36:49,267
but when is the right time
to disclose?
994
00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:50,867
I'm concerned that
995
00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:52,100
she might go running
out the door
996
00:36:52,133 --> 00:36:54,600
when I tell her that I'm trans.
997
00:36:54,633 --> 00:36:57,167
How did you let Gisele
convince you to do this?
998
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,333
Well...
999
00:36:58,367 --> 00:37:00,233
Okay, so I met Gisele
at an event...
1000
00:37:00,267 --> 00:37:02,800
(laughs)
...and I, like...
we were drinking
1001
00:37:02,833 --> 00:37:04,967
and she was just like,
"You have to meet..."
1002
00:37:05,067 --> 00:37:06,600
"Meet this guy."
Yeah.
1003
00:37:06,633 --> 00:37:07,600
(laughs)
1004
00:37:07,633 --> 00:37:08,767
This is actually
my first blind date.
1005
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:09,767
I've never been on one.
Me, too, actually.
1006
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:10,767
Yeah? Really?
Yeah.
1007
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,567
Helen has a very cute face
1008
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,367
and I like her brown skin
and her curly hair.
1009
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,567
Tell me about you.
What do you do?
1010
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:17,833
Uh, I'm an actor.
1011
00:37:17,867 --> 00:37:18,833
Cool.
Yeah.
1012
00:37:18,867 --> 00:37:19,700
Did you go
to school for it?
1013
00:37:19,733 --> 00:37:21,200
Yeah, I went to NYU,
1014
00:37:21,233 --> 00:37:22,233
Nice.
studied at Tisch.
1015
00:37:22,267 --> 00:37:23,533
I went to Fairfield U.
I studied psychology
1016
00:37:23,567 --> 00:37:25,367
and I was in
social work field.
Nice.
1017
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,333
What do you do now? Are you
still working in that?
1018
00:37:27,367 --> 00:37:29,500
(laughing):
I'm... I'm modeling full-time.
1019
00:37:29,533 --> 00:37:30,667
Every time I say that,
1020
00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:32,367
I feel like it's not...
Obviously.
1021
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:33,533
...like it's not a real job,
1022
00:37:33,567 --> 00:37:35,067
but that's what I'm doing.
1023
00:37:35,067 --> 00:37:36,067
How long have
you been modeling?
1024
00:37:36,067 --> 00:37:37,367
Uh, I did my first shoot,
1025
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,800
in, like, November of 2013.
1026
00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:41,800
And then I didn't really get
much work after that until...
1027
00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:43,933
Well, did Gisele tell you
1028
00:37:43,967 --> 00:37:45,133
I'm transgender?
1029
00:37:45,167 --> 00:37:47,133
No.
1030
00:37:47,167 --> 00:37:48,067
No?
1031
00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:50,267
Well, I am. (laughs)
1032
00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:52,067
Really?
Yeah.
(laughing)
1033
00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:53,633
Oh, my gosh!
(laughing)
1034
00:37:53,667 --> 00:37:56,133
Hope that's cool.
That's amazing!
1035
00:37:56,167 --> 00:37:58,367
It's all right, I guess.
1036
00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:59,400
But, uh...
1037
00:37:59,433 --> 00:38:00,700
That's so remarkable.
Yeah. Yeah.
1038
00:38:00,733 --> 00:38:02,400
I don't know what to say.
1039
00:38:02,433 --> 00:38:03,400
You...
Yeah.
1040
00:38:03,433 --> 00:38:04,800
I'm just like...
1041
00:38:04,833 --> 00:38:06,067
I'm sorry, I'm a little
taken aback,
Yeah.
1042
00:38:06,067 --> 00:38:07,633
but, like,
that's so amazing.
1043
00:38:07,667 --> 00:38:09,367
Yeah.
It's very refreshing to hear,
1044
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,533
uh, Helen's reaction
to my being trans.
1045
00:38:11,567 --> 00:38:13,400
I'm always expecting
the worst reaction.
1046
00:38:13,433 --> 00:38:16,267
When they think "transgender,"
they think of a...
1047
00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:19,100
a burly dude in a dress.
1048
00:38:19,133 --> 00:38:21,267
And it was better
than what I expected.
1049
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:23,533
Thank you.
1050
00:38:23,567 --> 00:38:24,833
I mean, this is...
it's not as bad
1051
00:38:24,867 --> 00:38:26,367
as I thought it was
gonna be. Like...
1052
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:27,500
You're so charming.
(laughs)
Am I?
1053
00:38:27,533 --> 00:38:30,067
I'm just...
Yes! Oh, my gosh.
1054
00:38:30,067 --> 00:38:32,067
I'm charming.
I like that.
1055
00:38:32,067 --> 00:38:33,600
(laughing)
1056
00:38:33,633 --> 00:38:36,100
You're pretty open
and receptive,
1057
00:38:36,133 --> 00:38:37,433
but a lot of people
aren't like that.
1058
00:38:37,467 --> 00:38:39,067
Really?
Mm-mm.
1059
00:38:39,067 --> 00:38:40,400
Your whole family knows now?
1060
00:38:40,433 --> 00:38:41,667
Like, even like,
your cousins,
1061
00:38:41,700 --> 00:38:43,100
your grand...
grandparents?
Yeah, everybody.
1062
00:38:43,133 --> 00:38:44,700
Oh, my grandparents know.
1063
00:38:44,733 --> 00:38:46,067
Oh, my God.
How did they react?
1064
00:38:46,067 --> 00:38:47,367
My grandmother...
1065
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,967
she needed to see it,
1066
00:38:49,067 --> 00:38:51,400
like, happening--
like, me at-at this stage.
1067
00:38:51,433 --> 00:38:53,900
Like, for a long...
for... in the beginning,
1068
00:38:53,933 --> 00:38:55,067
it wasn't real to her.
1069
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:57,367
And then, as changes
started to happen,
1070
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,200
I remember she came
over to my house
1071
00:38:59,233 --> 00:39:01,267
and she looked at me
and she was like,
1072
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:02,267
"You look like a man."
1073
00:39:02,300 --> 00:39:03,800
I was like,
"I am a man, Grandma."
1074
00:39:03,833 --> 00:39:05,267
(chuckling)
She's like...
1075
00:39:05,300 --> 00:39:06,667
"Can you take off
your shirt?"
1076
00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:07,733
Like, she asked me
to take my shirt off
1077
00:39:07,767 --> 00:39:09,067
and she wanted to see...
1078
00:39:09,067 --> 00:39:10,533
She's like,
"Where are your breasts?"
1079
00:39:10,567 --> 00:39:12,067
And I was like,
"Grandma..."
1080
00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:13,267
(laughs)
1081
00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:15,067
Did your voice
change first?
1082
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:17,133
Or did you,
like, get...
It was...
1083
00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:18,567
Did you get more hair first?
Like, how...
1084
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,567
It's like, it's...
it's puberty.
1085
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,667
It's whatever a boy goes
through, through puberty,
1086
00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:22,667
I went through.
1087
00:39:22,700 --> 00:39:24,833
So I went through
a second puberty.
1088
00:39:24,867 --> 00:39:26,133
I think by nine months
of testosterone,
1089
00:39:26,167 --> 00:39:27,367
it was, like,
where it is now.
1090
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,467
But in the beginning,
it was cracking.
1091
00:39:29,500 --> 00:39:30,933
It was like,
I'd wake up one day,
1092
00:39:30,967 --> 00:39:32,567
and it was really high,
1093
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:33,933
then wake up the next day
and sound like Barry White.
1094
00:39:33,967 --> 00:39:34,933
(laughs)
1095
00:39:34,967 --> 00:39:35,967
Oh...
1096
00:39:36,067 --> 00:39:37,167
I'm like, "What the hell
is going on?"
1097
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:38,600
My mom was like,
"One day,
1098
00:39:38,633 --> 00:39:39,633
"you sound like
a Chihuahua,
1099
00:39:39,667 --> 00:39:40,633
the next day you sound
like a pit bull."
1100
00:39:40,667 --> 00:39:42,100
(laughing)
And I'm like,
1101
00:39:42,133 --> 00:39:43,200
"Thanks, Mom."
1102
00:39:44,333 --> 00:39:45,600
But yeah...
1103
00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:46,967
I just can't really, like,
1104
00:39:47,067 --> 00:39:48,833
wrap my mind around, like,
1105
00:39:48,867 --> 00:39:50,833
feeling like I'm not
in my right body.
1106
00:39:50,867 --> 00:39:51,833
Yeah.
1107
00:39:51,867 --> 00:39:53,167
Can I ask you
a personal question?
1108
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:54,533
You can ask me anything.
1109
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,033
Is that offensive?
Yeah.
1110
00:40:05,067 --> 00:40:06,033
How many partners
have you had?
1111
00:40:06,067 --> 00:40:07,267
It's, like, similar
to me saying that.
1112
00:40:07,300 --> 00:40:08,267
ARISCE: I'm going to let you
tell me what you think
1113
00:40:13,033 --> 00:40:15,167
*
1114
00:40:21,767 --> 00:40:24,800
That's one that you don't ask.
1115
00:40:24,833 --> 00:40:26,100
Is that offensive?
1116
00:40:26,133 --> 00:40:27,867
I'm sorry.
1117
00:40:27,900 --> 00:40:29,467
(laughs)
I am so sorry.
1118
00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:31,133
I did...
I don't know.
No.
1119
00:40:31,167 --> 00:40:32,733
I said it was personal.
I know.
1120
00:40:32,767 --> 00:40:33,733
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
1121
00:40:33,767 --> 00:40:34,833
Okay.
I mean, it's...
1122
00:40:34,867 --> 00:40:36,100
it's something
that people are mostly...
1123
00:40:36,133 --> 00:40:37,300
that everyone
is curious about,
1124
00:40:37,333 --> 00:40:39,900
especially for...
for someone that's trans.
1125
00:40:39,933 --> 00:40:40,900
When you think "trans,"
1126
00:40:40,933 --> 00:40:42,700
people's minds go to that,
1127
00:40:42,733 --> 00:40:45,300
but it's like
me asking you, "So...
1128
00:40:45,333 --> 00:40:46,800
"is your vagina
really tight or really loose?
1129
00:40:46,833 --> 00:40:47,967
How many partners
have you had?"
1130
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,167
It's, like, similar
to me saying that.
1131
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:50,400
I'm sorry.
1132
00:40:50,433 --> 00:40:51,700
Don't apologize.
Okay, I feel
so terrible.
1133
00:40:51,733 --> 00:40:53,033
No, no, no, it's really...
That's another thing.
1134
00:40:53,067 --> 00:40:54,967
Don't over-apologize.
It's okay.
Okay.
1135
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,033
It's inappropriate to ask
anyone about their genitals.
1136
00:40:57,067 --> 00:40:59,900
It's very personal and you
don't just ask anyone that.
1137
00:41:00,067 --> 00:41:01,700
I think in the beginning
of my transition,
1138
00:41:01,733 --> 00:41:03,200
I would get really offended
immediately
1139
00:41:03,233 --> 00:41:04,400
if someone asked something
inappropriate.
1140
00:41:04,433 --> 00:41:05,567
But then,
1141
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,067
as time went on,
1142
00:41:08,067 --> 00:41:09,600
I had to realize
that people just don't know.
1143
00:41:09,633 --> 00:41:10,967
That's not always an excuse,
1144
00:41:11,067 --> 00:41:13,133
but it's just the reality
of the world.
1145
00:41:13,167 --> 00:41:14,200
Don't worry about it.
1146
00:41:14,233 --> 00:41:16,067
Okay.
(laughing)
1147
00:41:16,067 --> 00:41:17,667
I mean, it lets
me know you're...
1148
00:41:17,700 --> 00:41:19,400
that you want to know,
so that means something.
1149
00:41:19,433 --> 00:41:20,600
(laughing)
1150
00:41:20,633 --> 00:41:22,067
Blind date's
definitely not my thing,
1151
00:41:22,067 --> 00:41:23,933
but I think I needed it
to get out of my comfort zone
1152
00:41:23,967 --> 00:41:26,100
and open myself up again.
1153
00:41:28,433 --> 00:41:30,433
*
1154
00:41:31,567 --> 00:41:32,533
CECE:
How are you?
1155
00:41:32,567 --> 00:41:34,067
I'm excellent.
Mwah.
Mwah.
1156
00:41:34,833 --> 00:41:36,533
I have results
for you.
1157
00:41:36,567 --> 00:41:38,133
I went and saw
Dr. Pincus.
1158
00:41:38,167 --> 00:41:39,633
I'm bringing Cece these photos
1159
00:41:39,667 --> 00:41:41,667
to get a real feel
of the before and after.
1160
00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,200
I'm gonna let you tell me
what you think
1161
00:41:43,233 --> 00:41:44,400
before I tell you
what I think.
1162
00:41:46,433 --> 00:41:47,767
CECE:
Huh.
1163
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,067
This doesn't even
1164
00:41:50,067 --> 00:41:51,833
look like you anymore.
No, it's...
1165
00:41:51,867 --> 00:41:53,767
It changes you completely.
1166
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,200
I don't want
to look like that.
1167
00:41:56,300 --> 00:41:57,333
I don't ever want to live
1168
00:41:57,367 --> 00:41:58,667
in Whoville.
1169
00:41:58,700 --> 00:42:00,633
It's just a solid "hell no."
1170
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:02,967
I don't want
to sell out that hard.
1171
00:42:03,067 --> 00:42:04,633
So I'll pass,
1172
00:42:04,667 --> 00:42:06,200
but I went.
1173
00:42:06,233 --> 00:42:08,900
Part of being beautiful
and part of being a good model
1174
00:42:08,933 --> 00:42:10,400
is being proud of who you are,
1175
00:42:10,433 --> 00:42:12,567
what you look like
and what you're... selling.
1176
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,800
And so me getting my nose done
1177
00:42:14,833 --> 00:42:16,500
actually goes against
everything I stand for,
1178
00:42:16,533 --> 00:42:18,067
because I'm, like, the real one.
1179
00:42:18,067 --> 00:42:19,967
I'm the one who keeps it real
all the time.
1180
00:42:20,067 --> 00:42:21,400
Let me walk you out.
1181
00:42:21,433 --> 00:42:23,300
CECE:
Because of her refusal,
1182
00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:25,067
I worry that this may affect
1183
00:42:25,067 --> 00:42:27,067
her getting commercial jobs.
1184
00:42:27,067 --> 00:42:28,067
That we both want for her.
1185
00:42:29,367 --> 00:42:31,233
*
1186
00:42:31,267 --> 00:42:32,567
I'm just on Tinder,
1187
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,067
left-swiping the hell
out of everyone.
1188
00:42:34,067 --> 00:42:35,600
Dating is hard for anyone,
1189
00:42:35,633 --> 00:42:36,800
but for trans women,
1190
00:42:36,833 --> 00:42:38,400
it is particularly difficult.
1191
00:42:38,433 --> 00:42:40,833
Cece! This place is nice.
How are you?
1192
00:42:40,867 --> 00:42:41,733
ISIS:
If I said I wasn't attracted
1193
00:42:41,767 --> 00:42:43,900
to Laith, that would be stupid.
1194
00:42:43,933 --> 00:42:45,333
ARISCE:
If anyone's going
to have Laith, it's me.
1195
00:42:45,367 --> 00:42:47,167
Sorry, but I'm kind of
1196
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:48,067
the seductress of the group.
1197
00:42:48,067 --> 00:42:49,100
Oh, my God.
1198
00:42:49,133 --> 00:42:50,533
What's going on?
1199
00:42:50,567 --> 00:42:52,600
LAITH: I think...
I think she... thinks
1200
00:42:52,633 --> 00:42:53,833
it was a date.
1201
00:42:53,867 --> 00:42:55,900
Well, was it a date?
No.
1202
00:42:55,933 --> 00:42:57,400
Everybody thinks that
you're supposed to have
1203
00:42:57,433 --> 00:42:58,833
this big connection
with your family,
1204
00:42:58,867 --> 00:42:59,833
but it's just like...
(clicks tongue)
1205
00:42:59,867 --> 00:43:00,900
Yeah.
I kind of cut that a while ago.
1206
00:43:00,933 --> 00:43:02,633
I guess you can come over
1207
00:43:02,667 --> 00:43:04,100
to one of the photoshoot
things that I'm doing.
1208
00:43:04,133 --> 00:43:05,100
Was that your dad?
1209
00:43:05,133 --> 00:43:06,067
Yep.
1210
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:07,633
He's coming to the shoot?
1211
00:43:07,667 --> 00:43:08,900
CASSANDRA:
Ren is in denial
1212
00:43:08,933 --> 00:43:11,067
about a lot of things.
1213
00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:13,400
CASSANDRA: I just want you
to get over the shame.
1214
00:43:13,433 --> 00:43:17,133
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
1215
00:43:17,167 --> 00:43:20,967
REN: For more information
on Strut, go to Oxygen.com.
1216
00:43:27,067 --> 00:43:28,500
Did you see that?
That was incredible.
1217
00:43:28,533 --> 00:43:29,967
Amazing.
I love this.
83884
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