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1
00:01:45,263 --> 00:01:47,514
The royal physicians
have the king's permission
2
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to see the Prince on his birthday!
3
00:02:07,486 --> 00:02:09,294
Prince.
4
00:02:09,654 --> 00:02:11,322
Princey!
5
00:02:11,323 --> 00:02:12,190
Prince.
6
00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:14,100
You schmuck, up, up, up.
7
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:17,369
Happy birthday, sire.
8
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,371
♪ Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you ♪
9
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:20,915
♪ Happy birthday dear Princey ♪
10
00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:24,042
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
11
00:02:24,443 --> 00:02:27,172
Happy birthday, sire.
12
00:02:27,839 --> 00:02:29,757
Where's my doggy?
13
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,051
Where's my teddy bear?
14
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:35,429
But Your Highness, today you are 21.
15
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:38,724
It is time to put away your childish toys.
16
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,143
Today you must become a man.
17
00:02:41,144 --> 00:02:43,604
You want to be a schmuck all your life?
18
00:02:43,605 --> 00:02:46,732
You realize the great world
that you must conquer?
19
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:50,611
Walking forward, unlike Cyrano,
whose Bergerac was below
20
00:02:50,612 --> 00:02:53,823
the empathy of his Babaskis?
21
00:02:53,824 --> 00:02:56,617
Sticking it in places
where it didn't belong.
22
00:02:56,618 --> 00:02:58,494
Oh, oh, okay.
23
00:02:58,495 --> 00:03:00,162
Okay, you're the doctors.
24
00:03:00,163 --> 00:03:03,165
What do I have to do?
25
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:06,737
Glad you asked that question.
26
00:03:08,129 --> 00:03:11,549
♪ If all your lovers like
your clothes are mix and match ♪
27
00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:13,843
♪ And it fast becoming clearer ♪
28
00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:15,845
♪ That you better start from scratch ♪
29
00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:17,263
♪ We're in the business ♪
30
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,306
♪ Of making things much
brighter than they seem ♪
31
00:03:19,307 --> 00:03:21,225
♪ We're in your corner, up your alley ♪
32
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,060
♪ By your side, and on your team ♪
33
00:03:23,061 --> 00:03:27,022
♪ It doesn't matter that
you're young and quite naive ♪
34
00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:28,774
♪ We have a present that most princes ♪
35
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,568
♪ Would be happy to receive ♪
36
00:03:30,569 --> 00:03:33,445
♪ And dear young highness, we'll help you ♪
37
00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:34,822
♪ If you give us half a chance ♪
38
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,532
♪ We're at your service, up and coming ♪
39
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,159
♪ On the job and in our pants ♪
40
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,662
♪ Experts appointed by your father ♪
41
00:03:41,663 --> 00:03:46,827
♪ Sexperts, we hardly
even bother with details ♪
42
00:03:49,254 --> 00:03:51,547
The whole thing is a
product of inspection,
43
00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:54,592
allowing those people to get
in there and then get out
44
00:03:54,593 --> 00:03:56,802
and then getting in and getting out.
45
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,512
This in and out is alright.
46
00:03:58,513 --> 00:04:00,723
This up and down shit's for the birds.
47
00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:01,849
Shall I say,
48
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,851
"Goodnight, sweet Prince.
49
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:06,145
"Parting is such sorrow?"
50
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,813
Parting is what you want.
51
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,024
Let them get it open then get in there.
52
00:04:10,025 --> 00:04:13,027
Even the amoeba, when he feels lonely,
53
00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:16,030
he goes in the corner,
rub a dub dub and there's two of him.
54
00:04:16,031 --> 00:04:19,408
♪ We're Dr. Mustache,
Dr. Ears, and Dr. Eyes ♪
55
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:21,702
♪ We were in prison for malpractice ♪
56
00:04:21,703 --> 00:04:23,704
♪ When there came a big surprise ♪
57
00:04:23,705 --> 00:04:27,249
♪ The King released us to
educate his son and ever since ♪
58
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:29,126
♪ We're been the wise men of the kingdom ♪
59
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:31,003
♪ But we can't wise up the Prince ♪
60
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,632
♪ It is imperative our
mission doesn't fail ♪
61
00:04:34,633 --> 00:04:38,552
♪ Because His Majesty informs
us the alternative is jail ♪
62
00:04:38,553 --> 00:04:40,679
♪ But we have not met with success ♪
63
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,681
♪ Although we tried most everything ♪
64
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:46,310
♪ We have our hearts on
the fire and our asses in a sling ♪
65
00:04:46,311 --> 00:04:49,939
♪ Sexperts with medical tradition ♪
66
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:55,070
♪ Experts on every weird
position you can name ♪
67
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:59,949
They only make semen
white and urine yellow
68
00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:03,369
so that you know whether
you're coming or going.
69
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,539
You have to sire an heir
and you cannot do that
70
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,588
by just fucking a pillow.
71
00:05:09,793 --> 00:05:14,922
I remember when I was 21,
my hand was in a bandaid.
72
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:16,173
I was crippled.
73
00:05:16,174 --> 00:05:18,133
There was nobody around for me
74
00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:20,636
to enjoy the pleasures that are erotic.
75
00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:22,179
Get off your ass, you dumb son of a bitch
76
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:24,223
and get out and fuck!
77
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:27,643
♪ Well, it's the time of do
or don't, the die is cast ♪
78
00:05:27,644 --> 00:05:29,728
♪ Will our pubescent pampered prince ♪
79
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:31,397
♪ Become a royal rogue at last ♪
80
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,815
♪ Excuse me, colleagues ♪
81
00:05:32,816 --> 00:05:35,109
♪ But there's nothing more
the three of us can do ♪
82
00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:37,111
♪ We've laid the groundwork,
done the legwork ♪
83
00:05:37,112 --> 00:05:39,113
♪ Have no fear, we're right behind you ♪
84
00:05:39,114 --> 00:05:40,739
♪ But we're anxious to remind you ♪
85
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:45,461
♪ That the rest is up to you ♪
86
00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:55,546
Happy birthday, dear noble Prince.
87
00:05:55,547 --> 00:05:57,958
Today you are 21!
88
00:05:58,049 --> 00:06:03,020
21 minus none allows you
to inherit the kingdom.
89
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:07,433
A proviso, you must be
able to produce an heir.
90
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,435
If you don't produce an heir...
91
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:12,104
We're all out of work!
92
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,191
And even for a prince,
opportunities are limited!
93
00:06:15,192 --> 00:06:17,318
You got any royal aspirin?
94
00:06:17,319 --> 00:06:19,195
No, we've got something better.
95
00:06:19,196 --> 00:06:21,678
Much better!
96
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,369
A birthday present!
97
00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:59,383
Hi, I'm your birthday present.
98
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,700
Wait, wait a minute here.
99
00:07:06,701 --> 00:07:09,953
What, I don't understand what you want.
100
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:20,297
Um, actually my birthday
isn't really for six hours.
101
00:07:20,298 --> 00:07:22,424
I was born after 10:00 and,
102
00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:27,066
that's very nice.
103
00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:30,073
You do that very well.
104
00:08:14,769 --> 00:08:17,498
Well, you're no fun.
105
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,245
It's no use.
106
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:36,897
I'm just not interested, except,
107
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:45,424
you know, it's a funny thing.
108
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,996
Well, every time I look at her,
109
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:55,894
I get so horny.
110
00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,942
I'm sure it would work with her!
111
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,652
That was the Princess Beauty
112
00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:06,487
who disappeared many years ago.
113
00:09:06,488 --> 00:09:09,698
It's unlikely that she'll
ever been seen again.
114
00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:11,659
It's hopeless, it's hopeless.
115
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:15,371
We must look at the magic manual!
116
00:09:15,372 --> 00:09:18,040
Yes, the magic manual.
117
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:21,043
When you look at the astrological zodiacs,
118
00:09:21,044 --> 00:09:23,379
just as I myself, who am a Leon
119
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:28,271
with a Scorpio rising
and my moon is in Scorpio
120
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:33,430
and my Venus is five inches
below my bellybutton.
121
00:09:33,431 --> 00:09:36,183
Well, it's better there than in Uranus.
122
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,269
Get the book, get the book.
123
00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:39,770
- Get the book!
- Come over here
124
00:09:39,771 --> 00:09:41,021
and sympathize.
125
00:09:41,022 --> 00:09:43,992
Oh, here.
126
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:56,995
The Prince must go to
the Land of the Fairies!
127
00:09:57,414 --> 00:10:00,166
It is there he will find the cure!
128
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,835
How will I know when I'm
entering the Land of the Fairies?
129
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,963
You don't have to know, they'll know
130
00:10:05,964 --> 00:10:09,925
and once you have found
yourselves in the mortal swim
131
00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:13,053
of the spermatoza, get my Albert...
132
00:10:13,054 --> 00:10:14,805
It will say,
133
00:10:14,806 --> 00:10:16,807
"Land of the Fairies."
134
00:10:16,808 --> 00:10:18,434
What do you think?
135
00:10:18,435 --> 00:10:22,313
I'll get a horse and some
guards to accompany you.
136
00:10:22,314 --> 00:10:24,122
No!
137
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:28,028
I go alone and on foot.
138
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,738
How much time do I have?
139
00:10:30,739 --> 00:10:34,200
If you don't get back by
Thursday, you're not a prince.
140
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:38,091
Yeah and you'll lose the kingdom.
141
00:11:43,782 --> 00:11:46,673
Thursday?
142
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:02,108
Hi.
143
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:13,048
Who are you?
144
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:18,512
♪ Well, it's not as I planned ♪
145
00:12:18,513 --> 00:12:23,601
♪ But throughout Fairy Land
I'm known as Little Bo Peep ♪
146
00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:26,937
♪ And a alack and alas, I am up to my ass ♪
147
00:12:26,938 --> 00:12:29,899
♪ In smelly old sheep ♪
148
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:33,319
♪ And when first I found
out what my job was about ♪
149
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,489
♪ And what I really am ♪
150
00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:39,742
♪ I just didn't suspect
how much dough I'd collect ♪
151
00:12:39,743 --> 00:12:43,537
♪ From the guy on the lamb ♪
152
00:12:43,538 --> 00:12:46,665
♪ What a terrible curse and
I'll tell you what's worse ♪
153
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:50,044
♪ I feel sickly and pale ♪
154
00:12:50,045 --> 00:12:53,255
♪ Here you've been such a
dear with my bending your ear ♪
155
00:12:53,256 --> 00:12:56,509
♪ Wait, there's more to my tale ♪
156
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:59,929
♪ I am not known for my shyness ♪
157
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:03,265
♪ I just can't unplug my sinus ♪
158
00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:08,396
♪ 'Cause Little Bo Peep's
allergic to all her sheep ♪
159
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,302
♪ And it gives me the blues
when the rams and the ewes ♪
160
00:13:40,303 --> 00:13:43,347
♪ All flock to this spot ♪
161
00:13:43,348 --> 00:13:46,892
♪ It is such a disgrace
when the meadow's the place ♪
162
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:50,104
♪ They should be ever not ♪
163
00:13:50,105 --> 00:13:53,691
♪ Every bad man I date's a glad chunk ♪
164
00:13:53,692 --> 00:13:57,069
♪ But all he wants is my junk ♪
165
00:13:57,070 --> 00:14:00,489
♪ So Little Bo Peep is anxious to boop ♪
166
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:03,576
♪ No, Little Bo Peep is trying to dupe ♪
167
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:07,037
♪ No, Little Bee-bop is beep beep she bop ♪
168
00:14:07,038 --> 00:14:10,325
♪ Oh, sheep ♪
169
00:14:12,669 --> 00:14:15,504
I'm Little Bo Peep and I lost my sheep
170
00:14:15,505 --> 00:14:17,631
and don't know where to find them.
171
00:14:17,632 --> 00:14:19,300
Well, leave them alone.
172
00:14:19,301 --> 00:14:21,343
They'll come home.
173
00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:24,221
Wagging their tails behind them, probably.
174
00:14:24,222 --> 00:14:29,022
If I could trust you,
I'd tell you my trouble.
175
00:14:29,227 --> 00:14:31,353
Oh, you can trust me, little feller.
176
00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:35,676
I never see anybody but my sheep anyway.
177
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:42,039
You see, I'm a prince
and I'm in deep trouble.
178
00:14:42,491 --> 00:14:46,035
Oh, I never met a prince before.
179
00:14:46,036 --> 00:14:50,498
Oh, what a relief those
sheep are so hairy.
180
00:14:50,499 --> 00:14:53,250
To tell you the truth,
I kind of miss my teddy bear.
181
00:14:53,251 --> 00:14:55,586
Oh, you like animals, too?
182
00:14:55,587 --> 00:14:58,069
I'm glad.
183
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:02,843
What's your trouble?
184
00:15:02,844 --> 00:15:04,652
Tell me.
185
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:09,391
If I can't produce an heir,
I lose my kingdom.
186
00:15:09,392 --> 00:15:10,518
What's the matter?
187
00:15:10,519 --> 00:15:12,186
Can't you cum?
188
00:15:12,187 --> 00:15:15,021
Where you going?
189
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:20,945
I think I can help you.
190
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:29,149
You can?
191
00:16:38,648 --> 00:16:41,776
Look, it's not your fault.
192
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,882
Well, you see, it never works,
193
00:16:47,157 --> 00:16:50,201
except when I look at a painting
194
00:16:50,202 --> 00:16:51,952
of the Princess of my dreams.
195
00:16:51,953 --> 00:16:55,080
See, I'm sure it would work with her,
196
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:58,042
but if I don't prove
my manhood by Thursday,
197
00:16:58,043 --> 00:17:00,419
I'll lose my kingdom!
198
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,130
You ought to go to the old
lady who lives in a shoe.
199
00:17:03,131 --> 00:17:06,090
She'll know what to do.
200
00:17:25,654 --> 00:17:30,032
Oh, Tommy, good day, what a glorious day.
201
00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:32,743
You know, the girls are open for business,
202
00:17:32,744 --> 00:17:34,245
if you know what I mean.
203
00:17:34,246 --> 00:17:37,081
Oh, it's wonderful,
it's wonderful madam, Gussie Gander.
204
00:17:37,082 --> 00:17:40,042
Oh, I could just kiss
your privates and grovel at your loins
205
00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:42,461
to give me this big opportunity and work.
206
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,088
Thank you so much.
207
00:17:44,089 --> 00:17:45,923
I'll get business for us, I promise.
208
00:17:45,924 --> 00:17:47,216
Well, thank you, Tommy.
209
00:17:47,217 --> 00:17:48,759
You just do a good job
210
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,387
and make Gussie real proud of you, okay?
211
00:17:51,388 --> 00:17:53,222
Oh, I will, Madam Gussie, I will.
212
00:17:53,223 --> 00:17:55,558
I'll get the suckers in here, believe me.
213
00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:57,143
You just keep us filled, huh?
214
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,311
In a manner of speaking, I will.
215
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,677
Well, good luck.
216
00:18:02,107 --> 00:18:03,774
Oh, boy, what an opportunity.
217
00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:05,526
Working the door in a classy joint
218
00:18:05,527 --> 00:18:09,337
like this for Madam Gussie Gander.
219
00:18:09,739 --> 00:18:11,574
Here comes a couple of live ones.
220
00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:13,701
Excuse me, young man, excuse me.
221
00:18:13,702 --> 00:18:15,911
Take one or two steps forward, friends.
222
00:18:15,912 --> 00:18:18,080
Your bodies will naturally follow you.
223
00:18:18,081 --> 00:18:20,249
You see, what you're standing
in front of right now
224
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:22,668
is your basic shoe of pleasure.
225
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:23,961
Isn't that wonderful?
226
00:18:23,962 --> 00:18:26,046
Say yes, it makes me feel good.
227
00:18:26,047 --> 00:18:28,048
I couldn't help but notice
when you gentlemen walk up
228
00:18:28,049 --> 00:18:30,593
that each of you wear packing
your basic Saturday night
229
00:18:30,594 --> 00:18:33,095
special if you know what I mean.
230
00:18:33,096 --> 00:18:35,639
Well by golly, this is for
those with a hot member,
231
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,641
a tired member, a member
that itch, ache, burns,
232
00:18:37,642 --> 00:18:39,518
swells or throbs.
233
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,437
It's a truly amazing place.
234
00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:44,231
It's a veritable Fairy
Land of fondling, feeling,
235
00:18:44,232 --> 00:18:47,860
flogging, flaying, and some
general good fooling around,
236
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,528
if you know what I mean.
237
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,739
Inside you've got your Snow White
238
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:54,116
and the seven little people
and what they're doing to
239
00:18:54,117 --> 00:18:56,535
that girl is nobody's
business but their own.
240
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,162
You're gonna see that inside.
241
00:18:58,163 --> 00:19:00,498
You ever hear of Little Red Riding Hood?
242
00:19:00,499 --> 00:19:03,375
You'll get a chance to ride
our eight furlongs tonight,
243
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,419
so why don't you go right inside?
244
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:07,213
It's only gonna cost you
a couple of drachma, fellows.
245
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:09,924
You'll have the time of your life
and you'll thank me
246
00:19:09,925 --> 00:19:12,134
for it the longest day you will.
247
00:19:12,135 --> 00:19:13,469
Step right in.
248
00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:14,887
You're not interested?
249
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:16,347
You say,
250
00:19:16,348 --> 00:19:17,932
"Wait, look at the nice piece
of merchandise I have here."
251
00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:21,310
By golly, that is your basic blender.
252
00:19:21,311 --> 00:19:24,814
That's for your icings,
for your sautes, for your fondues.
253
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:26,357
You'll thank me for it.
254
00:19:26,358 --> 00:19:27,858
Here, turn it right
around on the other side,
255
00:19:27,859 --> 00:19:30,319
it's your Chopomatic
for your chopped nuts,
256
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,281
your chopped ice, your salads, your slaws.
257
00:19:34,282 --> 00:19:35,866
Stiffs.
258
00:19:35,867 --> 00:19:37,034
How about you, sir?
259
00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:38,077
You want to go inside?
260
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:40,371
Look, I've got a nice piece
of merchandise for you.
261
00:19:40,372 --> 00:19:44,375
Eight by 10 glossies shrunken
to make them pocket sized.
262
00:19:44,376 --> 00:19:46,168
Take these into
the privacy of your own home
263
00:19:46,169 --> 00:19:47,753
and what you do there, sir,
264
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,630
is nobody's business but your own.
265
00:19:49,631 --> 00:19:52,550
Now, you know why they
call her Mother Goose.
266
00:19:52,551 --> 00:19:53,884
Look at that one.
267
00:19:53,885 --> 00:19:55,052
Isn't that amazing?
268
00:19:55,053 --> 00:19:57,346
That's Little Miss Muffet
sitting on her tuffet.
269
00:19:57,347 --> 00:19:59,890
Here she is sitting on
Mother Goose's tuffet,
270
00:19:59,891 --> 00:20:01,725
and there's Little Miss
Muffet just straight
271
00:20:01,726 --> 00:20:03,352
out camping on the peg.
272
00:20:03,353 --> 00:20:04,478
Isn't that something, huh?
273
00:20:04,479 --> 00:20:06,939
Gets you a little randy,
doesn't it, to watch it?
274
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:09,483
Look, it's $4 for the set.
275
00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:12,614
$2 for the set.
276
00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:47,021
Oh, Sirus, I'm so glad you're back!
277
00:20:47,022 --> 00:20:48,272
Hey, baby!
278
00:20:48,273 --> 00:20:50,399
No, Sirus, no.
279
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,151
No thank you, no.
280
00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:54,904
Now, now, Gussie, don't be so ungrateful.
281
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:57,907
If it wasn't for me,
you'd still be on food stamps.
282
00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:00,284
Just a little old lady in this shoe had
283
00:21:00,285 --> 00:21:03,995
so many children
she didn't know what to do.
284
00:21:04,289 --> 00:21:06,999
Until old Sirus showed you, didn't I?
285
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,919
Yes, Sirus, yes,
you did teach my girls the tricks
286
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,004
of the trade but you'll get your cut.
287
00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:14,465
Not on everything.
288
00:21:14,466 --> 00:21:18,868
Sirus, I don't turn tricks for anybody.
289
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:25,810
Say, I wonder whatever
happened to Little Miss Muffet.
290
00:21:25,811 --> 00:21:28,270
I saw her in Chicago about a month ago.
291
00:21:28,271 --> 00:21:29,897
She's working the Red Slipper now.
292
00:21:29,898 --> 00:21:30,981
Oh, she had some act, didn't she?
293
00:21:30,982 --> 00:21:34,192
Yes, yes, a whole mouthful.
294
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:36,612
Going down?
295
00:21:36,613 --> 00:21:38,072
Yes, second floor, please.
296
00:21:38,073 --> 00:21:40,115
Always something new, like I said.
297
00:21:40,116 --> 00:21:41,951
Always something new.
298
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:44,911
The first elevator shoe.
299
00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:53,054
This is our new attraction,
the Snow White Room.
300
00:21:56,550 --> 00:21:58,676
♪ I'm sequestered in a shanty ♪
301
00:21:58,677 --> 00:22:01,011
♪ Acting as a maiden aunty ♪
302
00:22:01,012 --> 00:22:05,391
♪ To a bunch of munchkin gigolos ♪
303
00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:07,935
♪ Stuck with seven ittie bitties ♪
304
00:22:07,936 --> 00:22:09,728
♪ Each no taller than my titties ♪
305
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:14,233
♪ Every secret everybody knows ♪
306
00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:16,360
♪ So let me tell you all about ♪
307
00:22:16,361 --> 00:22:21,525
♪ The seven little wonders of my world ♪
308
00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:25,411
♪ These few years I'll spend in clover ♪
309
00:22:25,412 --> 00:22:27,663
♪ 'Til the honey moon is over ♪
310
00:22:27,664 --> 00:22:32,084
♪ And I've ceased to be their buttercup ♪
311
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:34,587
♪ Though they aren't
the tallest breed, sir ♪
312
00:22:34,588 --> 00:22:36,797
♪ I believe you will concede, sir ♪
313
00:22:36,798 --> 00:22:41,218
♪ Once you've come to see my seven up ♪
314
00:22:41,219 --> 00:22:43,387
♪ And then you'll know the secret of ♪
315
00:22:43,388 --> 00:22:48,552
♪ The seven little wonders of my world ♪
316
00:22:50,562 --> 00:22:54,648
♪ In my humblest opinion it's heaven ♪
317
00:22:54,649 --> 00:22:59,278
♪ If you can multiply sex by seven ♪
318
00:22:59,279 --> 00:23:01,447
♪ When they call me for a date, hey ♪
319
00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:03,491
♪ I get a ready for an eight way ♪
320
00:23:03,492 --> 00:23:07,786
♪ Seven hungry little mouths to kiss ♪
321
00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:10,289
♪ You might think it's quite off beat but ♪
322
00:23:10,290 --> 00:23:12,416
♪ Fondling fourteen little feet but ♪
323
00:23:12,417 --> 00:23:16,712
♪ I think paradise must be like this ♪
324
00:23:16,713 --> 00:23:19,215
♪ And though it's not a real polite thing ♪
325
00:23:19,216 --> 00:23:21,717
♪ It's my seven times a night thing ♪
326
00:23:21,718 --> 00:23:26,138
♪ With the seven wonders of my world ♪
327
00:23:26,139 --> 00:23:30,475
♪ Seven comes eleven and
I'm out like a light ♪
328
00:23:35,065 --> 00:23:38,400
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
329
00:23:38,401 --> 00:23:41,847
who's the fairest of them all?
330
00:23:42,447 --> 00:23:46,849
Well, certainly not you, you ugly bitch.
331
00:23:48,453 --> 00:23:51,205
And this is the Mirror Room.
332
00:23:51,206 --> 00:23:54,500
What's that, Quasimodo's momma?
333
00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:58,152
What you see ain't what you get.
334
00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:05,677
Upon further reflection,
I'd buy a piece of that action.
335
00:24:08,431 --> 00:24:11,933
We gonna have to leave already, huh?
336
00:24:16,022 --> 00:24:17,273
Going down?
337
00:24:17,274 --> 00:24:18,858
Top floor, please.
338
00:24:18,859 --> 00:24:20,025
What's up there?
339
00:24:20,026 --> 00:24:22,777
The Star Room.
340
00:24:23,613 --> 00:24:26,658
Voila.
341
00:24:27,659 --> 00:24:29,076
It's locked.
342
00:24:29,077 --> 00:24:31,120
You bet your sweet little
codpiece it's locked.
343
00:24:31,121 --> 00:24:32,413
What's so hot about this room?
344
00:24:32,414 --> 00:24:34,415
Hell, I don't get a chance to see nothing.
345
00:24:34,416 --> 00:24:35,958
Oh, you're absolutely right.
346
00:24:35,959 --> 00:24:38,043
You don't get a chance to see nothing.
347
00:24:38,044 --> 00:24:39,253
You keep it locked forever?
348
00:24:39,254 --> 00:24:41,005
Oh, no, no, no, no,
349
00:24:41,006 --> 00:24:45,049
just until the right offer comes along.
350
00:24:55,437 --> 00:24:57,486
No, no!
351
00:25:09,618 --> 00:25:10,910
Oh, no, oh, please, oh, no, no, no.
352
00:25:10,911 --> 00:25:12,578
Oh, please, no.
353
00:25:12,579 --> 00:25:13,996
You don't understand.
354
00:25:13,997 --> 00:25:16,457
This isn't my way, oh, gib.
355
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:19,187
Oh, you're hopeless.
356
00:25:19,419 --> 00:25:21,212
I've been trying to turn you on all day
357
00:25:21,213 --> 00:25:23,881
and all you could do is lie here and moan.
358
00:25:23,882 --> 00:25:25,591
Oh, get away from me.
359
00:25:25,592 --> 00:25:28,594
Honestly, can I help it if
there was no water up the hill?
360
00:25:28,595 --> 00:25:29,678
Water?
361
00:25:29,679 --> 00:25:31,555
You really think I went up the hill
362
00:25:31,556 --> 00:25:33,098
to fetch a pail of water?
363
00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:34,809
Well, I simply can't imagine what else.
364
00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:37,972
God, I don't believe it.
365
00:25:38,980 --> 00:25:43,189
Oh, oh.
366
00:25:49,616 --> 00:25:51,659
Oh.
367
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,577
Hi, who are you?
368
00:25:53,578 --> 00:25:56,740
I'm Jill from up the hill.
369
00:25:56,957 --> 00:25:58,791
Want to fool around?
370
00:25:58,792 --> 00:26:00,251
No, I have a jester.
371
00:26:00,252 --> 00:26:02,753
He does all my fooling around for me.
372
00:26:02,754 --> 00:26:04,588
Oh.
373
00:26:04,589 --> 00:26:06,795
I'm a prince.
374
00:26:07,092 --> 00:26:08,509
Try to control yourself.
375
00:26:08,510 --> 00:26:11,511
Have we met before?
376
00:26:12,347 --> 00:26:13,973
- Oh, yes...
- Say, you know,
377
00:26:13,974 --> 00:26:17,726
the best thing is just
don't bother with them.
378
00:26:17,727 --> 00:26:19,979
Well, you're a lovely couple
and I could go on talking
379
00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:23,870
to you all day, but I'm on a quest.
380
00:26:24,776 --> 00:26:27,736
Yes, a very, very important quest
381
00:26:27,737 --> 00:26:31,183
and I'm gonna resume questing.
382
00:26:39,332 --> 00:26:41,663
Oh, young man!
383
00:26:46,173 --> 00:26:48,215
Hey, my man, Tommy Tucker.
384
00:26:48,216 --> 00:26:49,967
What's jumping off?
385
00:26:49,968 --> 00:26:51,468
Say, how did you make
out in that land deal
386
00:26:51,469 --> 00:26:54,847
where you sold the land to
Old King Cole, your boss?
387
00:26:54,848 --> 00:26:56,223
He's complaining about that.
388
00:26:56,224 --> 00:26:57,766
What's he complaining about?
389
00:26:57,767 --> 00:26:59,268
He's complaining because the land is
390
00:26:59,269 --> 00:27:01,187
under 20 feet of water in the Everglades.
391
00:27:01,188 --> 00:27:02,688
Oh, boy, why'd you tell him?
392
00:27:02,689 --> 00:27:04,231
I says,
393
00:27:04,232 --> 00:27:05,107
"Schumck, look at all the money you saved.
394
00:27:05,108 --> 00:27:06,317
"You don't gotta put a pool in."
395
00:27:06,318 --> 00:27:07,776
Some people are never happy.
396
00:27:07,777 --> 00:27:09,069
I get the same beefs.
397
00:27:09,070 --> 00:27:10,946
I sell some vibrators to
some airline stewardesses
398
00:27:10,947 --> 00:27:13,282
the other night,
they want their money back.
399
00:27:13,283 --> 00:27:15,868
Claimed it chipped their teeth.
400
00:27:15,869 --> 00:27:17,161
It's hard to make a buck, man.
401
00:27:17,162 --> 00:27:18,329
I know, it's terrible.
402
00:27:18,330 --> 00:27:19,872
What brings you to these parts tonight?
403
00:27:19,873 --> 00:27:21,707
Checking out some
new fluff for the King.
404
00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:23,501
Well, we got some loose stuff inside.
405
00:27:23,502 --> 00:27:25,002
- Do you?
- Maybe you want
406
00:27:25,003 --> 00:27:26,337
to take a look.
407
00:27:26,338 --> 00:27:30,340
We got all new attractions, go in.
408
00:27:30,675 --> 00:27:34,093
Oh, what a warm and
wonderful human being he is.
409
00:27:34,805 --> 00:27:36,514
The King sends his greetings.
410
00:27:36,515 --> 00:27:38,057
Yeah, if that's all he sent,
411
00:27:38,058 --> 00:27:39,809
you tell that fat ass King Cole...
412
00:27:39,810 --> 00:27:42,728
Hey, hey, hey, featherhead.
413
00:27:42,729 --> 00:27:45,189
That's the King you're talking about.
414
00:27:45,190 --> 00:27:46,941
You keep talking that way,
you're gonna be wearing
415
00:27:46,942 --> 00:27:49,984
that codpiece around your nose.
416
00:27:50,195 --> 00:27:52,905
Now, His Majesty always
sends a small tribute
417
00:27:52,906 --> 00:27:56,033
in memory of the last time that he was
418
00:27:56,034 --> 00:27:58,744
in this elegant establishment you got here
419
00:27:58,745 --> 00:28:01,330
and this time he sent this.
420
00:28:01,331 --> 00:28:04,543
Thank you.
421
00:28:05,544 --> 00:28:07,750
Small change?
422
00:28:08,046 --> 00:28:11,131
What did we give him last time,
one of the seven dwarves?
423
00:28:11,132 --> 00:28:13,717
- Hey...
- Excuse me.
424
00:28:13,718 --> 00:28:15,177
He's just kidding.
425
00:28:15,178 --> 00:28:19,978
Tell His Majesty that I
most humbly thank him.
426
00:28:20,350 --> 00:28:21,851
His Majesty would like to know
427
00:28:21,852 --> 00:28:24,687
what you got for his pleasure tonight
428
00:28:24,688 --> 00:28:28,023
and His Majesty also told me to tell you
429
00:28:28,024 --> 00:28:30,860
that if you could
possibly arrange a virgin,
430
00:28:30,861 --> 00:28:35,865
he would not be adverse to
giving a little extra schmear,
431
00:28:35,866 --> 00:28:39,117
if you know what I mean.
432
00:28:50,422 --> 00:28:51,297
Hi.
433
00:28:51,298 --> 00:28:53,257
Gotsy sent me from the Shoe of Pleasure.
434
00:28:53,258 --> 00:28:55,942
Oh, Gotsy sent you.
435
00:28:56,970 --> 00:28:59,381
What's your name?
436
00:28:59,681 --> 00:29:01,807
Scheherazade.
437
00:29:01,808 --> 00:29:04,014
Scheherazade?
438
00:29:04,519 --> 00:29:07,487
From the Arabian Nights?
439
00:29:07,731 --> 00:29:10,938
From many Arabian nights.
440
00:29:14,779 --> 00:29:18,669
And what do you have in your urn?
441
00:29:18,742 --> 00:29:21,631
Just oil from Arabia.
442
00:29:21,786 --> 00:29:24,788
What do you do with your oil?
443
00:29:24,789 --> 00:29:29,157
I have a special way of pleasing a man.
444
00:31:40,783 --> 00:31:43,514
Yes.
445
00:32:16,378 --> 00:32:17,628
Can you help me?
446
00:32:17,629 --> 00:32:19,839
What seems to be
your problem, young lady?
447
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,217
I'm Little Bo Peep and I lost my sheep.
448
00:32:23,218 --> 00:32:25,052
And you don't know where to find them.
449
00:32:25,053 --> 00:32:27,012
And I don't know where to find them.
450
00:32:27,013 --> 00:32:28,389
Well, they're just inside
451
00:32:28,390 --> 00:32:29,890
with two business men from Detroit.
452
00:32:29,891 --> 00:32:32,309
$3 sure time the sheep
are paying for the towels.
453
00:32:32,310 --> 00:32:34,562
Say young lady, look, while you're here,
454
00:32:34,563 --> 00:32:36,814
maybe you want to stop
inside and get a job.
455
00:32:36,815 --> 00:32:38,440
You know, we're always
looking for a new animal act
456
00:32:38,441 --> 00:32:40,526
and speaking of animal acts,
it's looks like a lot
457
00:32:40,527 --> 00:32:42,903
of horsemen rode into
that valley of fatigue.
458
00:32:42,904 --> 00:32:45,114
You know, let me just look at this.
459
00:32:45,115 --> 00:32:46,949
I can read bruises, you know.
460
00:32:46,950 --> 00:32:48,450
You can really read bruises?
461
00:32:48,451 --> 00:32:50,035
Mmhmm.
462
00:32:50,036 --> 00:32:51,203
I can't tell anything about the future,
463
00:32:51,204 --> 00:32:52,246
but I can tell what you did last night.
464
00:32:52,247 --> 00:32:53,873
Let's, okay, look, you go inside.
465
00:32:53,874 --> 00:32:55,666
You tell Gussie, she's the boss,
466
00:32:55,667 --> 00:32:57,209
you want a job working under me.
467
00:32:57,210 --> 00:32:58,794
Go right in.
468
00:32:58,795 --> 00:33:03,004
I didn't know Kojak had a twin brother.
469
00:33:03,758 --> 00:33:06,218
Lovely girl, lovely piece of meat.
470
00:33:06,219 --> 00:33:10,931
And then, I met this prince
in the woods, you know.
471
00:33:10,932 --> 00:33:13,142
I didn't know King Cole had any kids.
472
00:33:13,143 --> 00:33:14,727
Oh, no, he's not from here.
473
00:33:14,728 --> 00:33:19,523
He's from a far away land
and he has a curse on him.
474
00:33:19,524 --> 00:33:21,192
What kind of a curse?
475
00:33:21,193 --> 00:33:23,652
Well, you see, it's like this.
476
00:33:23,653 --> 00:33:27,114
A long time ago...
477
00:33:27,115 --> 00:33:29,825
It's a king's ransom
if you do it right, Sirus.
478
00:33:29,826 --> 00:33:32,119
Right, that's the only way I know how.
479
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,996
But of course.
480
00:33:33,997 --> 00:33:35,789
There's a prince walking in the woods
481
00:33:35,790 --> 00:33:38,209
who has a hell of
a problem with the ladies
482
00:33:38,210 --> 00:33:40,753
and I think that if we solve his problem,
483
00:33:40,754 --> 00:33:45,884
we'll cut into a fortune
that you wouldn't believe.
484
00:33:57,395 --> 00:34:02,525
♪ Today my life has
shown me a kind of lonely ♪
485
00:34:06,071 --> 00:34:09,597
♪ I never knew ♪
486
00:34:10,575 --> 00:34:15,705
♪ My days have been a fable with me unable ♪
487
00:34:19,751 --> 00:34:24,338
♪ To tell the false from true ♪
488
00:34:24,339 --> 00:34:29,025
♪ I know I'll meet somebody ♪
489
00:34:31,096 --> 00:34:35,817
♪ And yet I don't know where ♪
490
00:34:37,936 --> 00:34:43,066
♪ I'm hoping that somebody
learns to care, wants to share ♪
491
00:34:51,575 --> 00:34:56,546
♪ So world, please be forgiving ♪
492
00:34:57,414 --> 00:35:02,499
♪ If I view living a different way ♪
493
00:35:04,296 --> 00:35:09,426
♪ I'll find some strength to borrow ♪
494
00:35:10,886 --> 00:35:15,368
♪ And face tomorrow today ♪
495
00:35:38,788 --> 00:35:41,074
Hey, you, you!
496
00:35:41,249 --> 00:35:44,536
Prince with the sex problem.
497
00:35:44,544 --> 00:35:47,129
That's me, but how did you know?
498
00:35:47,130 --> 00:35:50,007
Little old birdy kind
of whispered in my ear.
499
00:35:50,008 --> 00:35:52,468
But come on now, we're going
on down the yellow brick road
500
00:35:52,469 --> 00:35:56,931
where Peter Pan learned to
fly and Olive Oil and Popeye
501
00:35:56,932 --> 00:36:00,100
and Tinklebell was tinkle-ized.
502
00:36:00,101 --> 00:36:02,148
Come on, now.
503
00:36:02,729 --> 00:36:06,357
We're going on down the yellow brick road.
504
00:36:06,358 --> 00:36:08,652
Um,
505
00:36:09,653 --> 00:36:11,445
what are you talking about?
506
00:36:11,446 --> 00:36:14,698
I'm talking about the Shoe of Pleasure.
507
00:36:14,699 --> 00:36:16,659
The Shoe of Pleasure?
508
00:36:16,660 --> 00:36:21,247
Little Bo Peep told me
about the Shoe of Pleasure!
509
00:36:21,248 --> 00:36:22,414
Who are you?
510
00:36:22,415 --> 00:36:26,710
Sirus is my name and pimpin' is my game.
511
00:36:26,711 --> 00:36:29,839
Pimpin', pimpin',
what kind of a game is pimpin'?
512
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,007
Oh, pimpin', pimpin'!
513
00:36:32,008 --> 00:36:36,595
Isn't there where a team dressed
in blue kick a large squash
514
00:36:36,596 --> 00:36:39,932
and you have another team that
has a great deal of pimpin'?
515
00:36:39,933 --> 00:36:41,741
No, man!
516
00:36:41,935 --> 00:36:45,065
Pimp, I'm a pimp!
517
00:36:47,232 --> 00:36:48,524
What's a pimp?
518
00:36:48,525 --> 00:36:50,943
Pimp, P-I-M-P.
519
00:36:50,944 --> 00:36:54,780
Person for the Improvement
of Men's Pee-Pee Problems.
520
00:36:54,781 --> 00:36:58,182
Sort of like a social worker.
521
00:36:58,285 --> 00:37:00,536
Maybe you can help me.
522
00:37:00,537 --> 00:37:01,996
Sure I can.
523
00:37:01,997 --> 00:37:05,790
Come on now, we're going
on down the yellow brick road.
524
00:37:14,009 --> 00:37:16,427
Come on, Princey,
I'm taking you to the place
525
00:37:16,428 --> 00:37:18,721
where Pinocchio had his first nose job.
526
00:37:18,722 --> 00:37:21,015
I mean, this is where it's at,
where I'm gonna fix you.
527
00:37:21,016 --> 00:37:22,600
Hello, Tommy, what's happening, baby?
528
00:37:22,601 --> 00:37:24,768
- Give me some, oh.
- Sirus!
529
00:37:24,769 --> 00:37:26,520
Come on, now.
530
00:37:26,521 --> 00:37:28,063
You alright, I love you, too.
531
00:37:28,064 --> 00:37:29,857
Come here, Tommy, I want you
to meet the Princey here.
532
00:37:29,858 --> 00:37:32,193
Hey, Prince, you're
traveling with the right man.
533
00:37:32,194 --> 00:37:33,944
We call him the Soul of the Shoe.
534
00:37:33,945 --> 00:37:35,154
Sirus, how have you been?
535
00:37:35,155 --> 00:37:36,280
How's things on the street?
536
00:37:36,281 --> 00:37:37,364
It's mellow!
537
00:37:37,365 --> 00:37:39,033
It's great, you know, but let me tell you
538
00:37:39,034 --> 00:37:40,826
about my friend Princey here.
539
00:37:40,827 --> 00:37:43,287
Princey got the Humpty
Dumpty-it is, you know?
540
00:37:43,288 --> 00:37:45,372
All the king's horses
and all the king's men
541
00:37:45,373 --> 00:37:47,249
couldn't put Humpty up again.
542
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:48,375
I mean, we gonna fix him up.
543
00:37:48,376 --> 00:37:50,252
Tell him about the place now.
544
00:37:50,253 --> 00:37:51,670
Little dangle in your dingle, Prince?
545
00:37:51,671 --> 00:37:52,713
That what's wrong, huh?
546
00:37:52,714 --> 00:37:54,715
Little flaccid in the old member, huh?
547
00:37:54,716 --> 00:37:56,884
We have a girl inside
up on the third floor.
548
00:37:56,885 --> 00:37:58,594
By golly, you're gonna
meet her in a moment.
549
00:37:58,595 --> 00:38:00,095
You're gonna thank Sirus and I
550
00:38:00,096 --> 00:38:01,806
for this the longest day you live.
551
00:38:01,807 --> 00:38:03,724
She'll clean your clock, my Prince.
552
00:38:03,725 --> 00:38:05,976
She'll put a little
starch in the old wee-wee,
553
00:38:05,977 --> 00:38:09,395
if you know what I mean.
554
00:38:10,941 --> 00:38:14,527
Now, when you go in there,
all your troubles will be over
555
00:38:14,528 --> 00:38:17,154
because Snow White and
her seven little friends
556
00:38:17,155 --> 00:38:21,116
have never failed to turn
on a gentleman caller.
557
00:38:21,117 --> 00:38:23,495
I'll try.
558
00:38:24,496 --> 00:38:29,083
You have absolutely
nothing to worry about.
559
00:38:29,084 --> 00:38:32,585
Okay?
560
00:38:36,049 --> 00:38:38,050
- Hey.
- Alright, momma.
561
00:38:38,051 --> 00:38:41,011
We did it.
562
00:38:45,809 --> 00:38:48,478
Didn't work.
563
00:38:58,321 --> 00:39:00,072
If at first you don't succeed...
564
00:39:00,073 --> 00:39:02,741
Try, baby, try it again.
565
00:39:02,742 --> 00:39:05,660
That's good.
566
00:39:16,089 --> 00:39:18,716
♪ It's when we love a man sincerely ♪
567
00:39:18,717 --> 00:39:21,969
♪ That we will treat him so severely ♪
568
00:39:21,970 --> 00:39:24,054
♪ I'll even tie him drastically ♪
569
00:39:24,055 --> 00:39:28,017
♪ If he's as frightened of
you as he is frightened of me ♪
570
00:39:28,018 --> 00:39:31,228
♪ It's so amusing to be abusing ♪
571
00:39:31,229 --> 00:39:36,359
♪ And so we beat him,
Daddy, eight to the bar ♪
572
00:39:41,031 --> 00:39:44,158
♪ It doesn't matter if he's massive ♪
573
00:39:44,159 --> 00:39:47,703
♪ So long as he learns to be passive ♪
574
00:39:47,704 --> 00:39:50,206
♪ It's such a novel thing to see ♪
575
00:39:50,207 --> 00:39:53,334
♪ When he is groveling for
you and he is groveling for me ♪
576
00:39:53,335 --> 00:39:56,545
♪ But they turn ashen when we keep lashin' ♪
577
00:39:56,546 --> 00:40:00,132
♪ We really beat him,
Daddy, eight to the bar ♪
578
00:40:00,133 --> 00:40:05,263
♪ Oh, Daddy we're gonna tan
your hide 'til it's brown ♪
579
00:40:05,639 --> 00:40:09,433
♪ Doo doo doo doo Daddy ♪
580
00:40:09,434 --> 00:40:14,564
♪ We'll turn you on so don't turn us down ♪
581
00:40:31,790 --> 00:40:34,583
♪ Some guys think it's kind of sparky ♪
582
00:40:34,584 --> 00:40:37,628
♪ That we make sex a matriarchy ♪
583
00:40:37,629 --> 00:40:40,631
♪ It's as astounding as can be ♪
584
00:40:40,632 --> 00:40:42,550
♪ They want a pounding from you ♪
585
00:40:42,551 --> 00:40:44,009
♪ They want a pounding from me ♪
586
00:40:44,010 --> 00:40:46,804
♪ It's so amusing to be abusing ♪
587
00:40:46,805 --> 00:40:51,934
♪ And we so beat him, Daddy,
two, four, six, and eight ♪
588
00:40:51,935 --> 00:40:55,256
♪ To the bar ♪
589
00:41:03,780 --> 00:41:05,948
That was fantastic!
590
00:41:05,949 --> 00:41:08,474
But it didn't work.
591
00:41:09,870 --> 00:41:12,246
This look like a job
592
00:41:12,247 --> 00:41:16,217
for Aunt La Voh and her love potion.
593
00:41:17,586 --> 00:41:19,503
Hey, Peeping Tom.
594
00:41:19,504 --> 00:41:21,297
Oh, Tommy Tucker.
595
00:41:21,298 --> 00:41:23,424
Back for another evening
of visual delights,
596
00:41:23,425 --> 00:41:25,050
as it were, hmm?
597
00:41:25,051 --> 00:41:26,552
- Oh.
- Shame on you
598
00:41:26,553 --> 00:41:28,053
but we have something new for you
599
00:41:28,054 --> 00:41:29,680
up in our Leather and Latex suite.
600
00:41:29,681 --> 00:41:33,476
Picture if you can a young girl,
19 years of age,
601
00:41:33,477 --> 00:41:38,272
flashing white alabaster
thighs and she had Gussie set
602
00:41:38,273 --> 00:41:41,442
up a Siberian torture post in the Leather
603
00:41:41,443 --> 00:41:44,069
and Latex Suite and she said
that she'd be tied to it
604
00:41:44,070 --> 00:41:46,947
and that we give her a sound
birching on the fleshy parts
605
00:41:46,948 --> 00:41:48,949
of her thighs, if you know what I mean.
606
00:41:48,950 --> 00:41:51,618
Would you like to what that?
607
00:42:59,229 --> 00:43:02,064
Is everyone having a good time?
608
00:43:02,065 --> 00:43:04,691
Oh, hello.
609
00:43:08,363 --> 00:43:09,280
Snow White.
610
00:43:09,281 --> 00:43:11,089
Hi!
611
00:43:11,199 --> 00:43:12,283
Where are the dwarves?
612
00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:13,742
Oh, it was past their bedtime.
613
00:43:13,743 --> 00:43:14,994
I tucked them in.
614
00:43:14,995 --> 00:43:16,579
Oh, and the sheep?
615
00:43:16,580 --> 00:43:18,330
I lost them again.
616
00:43:18,331 --> 00:43:19,623
- Again?
- Have you thought
617
00:43:19,624 --> 00:43:22,292
of looking for another job?
618
00:43:22,544 --> 00:43:23,752
Would you like some hors d'oeuvres?
619
00:43:23,753 --> 00:43:25,004
Oh, yes!
620
00:43:25,005 --> 00:43:27,255
Such a nice party.
621
00:43:28,592 --> 00:43:31,302
King Cole, gentlemen,
you're here for the big party.
622
00:43:31,303 --> 00:43:34,638
I bid you welcome to our
humble house of pleasure.
623
00:43:34,639 --> 00:43:36,849
King, let me kiss your thing.
624
00:43:36,850 --> 00:43:37,933
It's his ring.
625
00:43:37,934 --> 00:43:38,976
It's a ring, schumck.
626
00:43:38,977 --> 00:43:41,103
You kiss what you want
I'll kiss what I want.
627
00:43:41,104 --> 00:43:43,314
King, I meant to mention to you,
628
00:43:43,315 --> 00:43:45,524
I was passing your castle
the other day, you know,
629
00:43:45,525 --> 00:43:47,485
and I noticed it's a little rundown,
630
00:43:47,486 --> 00:43:49,361
a little going to seed, as we say.
631
00:43:49,362 --> 00:43:51,238
You know, in addition to being a doorman,
632
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,241
I do represent the ACME
Aluminum Siding and School
633
00:43:54,242 --> 00:43:55,910
of the Dance, you know,
located over in the valley.
634
00:43:55,911 --> 00:43:59,413
We could do a nice job of
siding plus throw in free
635
00:43:59,414 --> 00:44:02,500
of any charge aluminum
storm windows and doors
636
00:44:02,501 --> 00:44:05,294
and some nice cyclone fencing
I think you'd like that.
637
00:44:05,295 --> 00:44:06,629
Later, later, later.
638
00:44:06,630 --> 00:44:08,005
King's here on royal business.
639
00:44:08,006 --> 00:44:09,215
Oh, yeah.
640
00:44:09,216 --> 00:44:10,466
The party's just beginning.
641
00:44:10,467 --> 00:44:11,634
You go inside, gentlemen.
642
00:44:11,635 --> 00:44:13,135
I know the girls are
waiting for you, King.
643
00:44:13,136 --> 00:44:15,721
Thanks for gracing our humble court.
644
00:44:15,722 --> 00:44:20,169
Such a warm king.
645
00:44:37,869 --> 00:44:41,190
Aunt La Voh, Aunt La Voh!
646
00:44:42,666 --> 00:44:46,584
I know she's got to be
around here somewhere.
647
00:45:10,735 --> 00:45:15,865
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
648
00:45:18,201 --> 00:45:21,579
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
649
00:45:21,580 --> 00:45:25,749
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
650
00:45:25,750 --> 00:45:30,880
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
651
00:45:32,799 --> 00:45:36,802
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
652
00:45:36,803 --> 00:45:41,265
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
653
00:45:41,266 --> 00:45:44,560
♪ You've got to trust your mystic mama ♪
654
00:45:44,561 --> 00:45:47,730
♪ She's gonna lay her magic on ya ♪
655
00:45:47,731 --> 00:45:51,692
♪ With just a funky incantation ♪
656
00:45:51,693 --> 00:45:55,821
♪ You're gonna be a love sensation ♪
657
00:45:55,822 --> 00:46:00,952
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
658
00:46:03,246 --> 00:46:06,582
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
659
00:46:06,583 --> 00:46:11,045
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
660
00:46:11,046 --> 00:46:16,176
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
661
00:46:18,386 --> 00:46:21,722
♪ You'll feel how good love can be ♪
662
00:46:21,723 --> 00:46:26,227
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
663
00:46:26,228 --> 00:46:29,396
♪ You can feel it, baby ♪
664
00:46:29,397 --> 00:46:32,441
♪ Come on and feel it, baby ♪
665
00:46:32,442 --> 00:46:36,153
♪ Now, feel it, baby ♪
666
00:46:36,154 --> 00:46:40,783
♪ Come on and feel it, baby ♪
667
00:46:40,784 --> 00:46:45,914
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
668
00:46:48,333 --> 00:46:51,752
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
669
00:46:51,753 --> 00:46:55,840
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
670
00:46:55,841 --> 00:47:00,926
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
671
00:47:03,056 --> 00:47:06,600
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
672
00:47:06,601 --> 00:47:10,062
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
673
00:47:10,063 --> 00:47:13,983
♪ If you relax and just get near it ♪
674
00:47:13,984 --> 00:47:17,987
♪ You're gonna feel my witchy spirit ♪
675
00:47:17,988 --> 00:47:21,490
♪ I've got a job to cure your trouble ♪
676
00:47:21,491 --> 00:47:25,744
♪ Just listen to my cauldron bubble ♪
677
00:47:25,745 --> 00:47:30,875
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
678
00:47:33,003 --> 00:47:36,255
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
679
00:47:36,256 --> 00:47:40,509
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
680
00:47:40,510 --> 00:47:43,596
♪ Now, that I've got you in my power ♪
681
00:47:43,597 --> 00:47:47,516
♪ You'll pass a day in just one hour ♪
682
00:47:47,517 --> 00:47:51,270
♪ I've got a supernatural feeling ♪
683
00:47:51,271 --> 00:47:55,608
♪ That's gonna send your body reeling ♪
684
00:47:55,609 --> 00:48:00,739
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
685
00:48:02,908 --> 00:48:06,202
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
686
00:48:06,203 --> 00:48:09,872
♪When I spell in you, baby ♪
687
00:48:09,873 --> 00:48:14,275
♪Oh, oh, telling you, baby ♪
688
00:48:17,547 --> 00:48:22,029
♪ Oh, oh, spelling you, baby ♪
689
00:48:27,849 --> 00:48:29,642
Now, Aunt La Voh,
can you just give us some
690
00:48:29,643 --> 00:48:31,227
of that voodoo help?
691
00:48:31,228 --> 00:48:33,437
My friend here, little Princey,
692
00:48:33,438 --> 00:48:36,315
he has a problem with the ladies.
693
00:48:36,316 --> 00:48:39,125
Hand me that bottle.
694
00:48:45,033 --> 00:48:46,920
Pour it in.
695
00:48:48,453 --> 00:48:51,913
Hey, that's Mom's extra dry.
696
00:49:02,425 --> 00:49:04,426
My bloodhound nose is telling me
697
00:49:04,427 --> 00:49:06,804
there's hookers in that shoe.
698
00:49:06,805 --> 00:49:09,557
By the powers invested to me by King Cole
699
00:49:09,558 --> 00:49:11,642
who made me head of the Vice Squad,
700
00:49:11,643 --> 00:49:14,061
I think we're gonna knock off the shoe.
701
00:49:14,062 --> 00:49:16,689
What do we want to
knock off the price for?
702
00:49:16,690 --> 00:49:19,275
Let's go up there and knock off a piece.
703
00:49:19,276 --> 00:49:21,944
Hey, you want a molly.
704
00:49:21,945 --> 00:49:27,075
Otto, wait, I think the doorman
is gonna go to lunch.
705
00:49:28,368 --> 00:49:32,787
There's a big chance now, come on!
706
00:49:51,850 --> 00:49:54,767
The cops, cool it!
707
00:49:57,063 --> 00:50:00,691
Let's get out of here, run!
708
00:50:03,653 --> 00:50:06,530
Well, good evening, Baron.
709
00:50:06,531 --> 00:50:08,365
No good evening me, Boot Anne.
710
00:50:08,366 --> 00:50:09,492
Step aside.
711
00:50:09,493 --> 00:50:10,367
Everybody freeze!
712
00:50:10,368 --> 00:50:12,203
Everybody freeze!
713
00:50:12,204 --> 00:50:14,455
This is a raid.
714
00:50:14,456 --> 00:50:17,041
Welcome to my boarding house.
715
00:50:17,042 --> 00:50:18,292
Boarding house?
716
00:50:18,293 --> 00:50:19,418
You mean, bawdy house.
717
00:50:19,419 --> 00:50:23,628
- This is a bawdy house.
- Shut up, you.
718
00:50:24,883 --> 00:50:26,425
Your Majesty.
719
00:50:26,426 --> 00:50:29,470
Relax, these are my friends.
720
00:50:29,471 --> 00:50:31,836
Have a good time.
721
00:50:32,724 --> 00:50:34,266
The coast is clear!
722
00:50:34,267 --> 00:50:37,185
Everyone can come back!
723
00:50:43,401 --> 00:50:45,402
I'm sorry, I mean, it just didn't work.
724
00:50:45,403 --> 00:50:49,573
The bubbles tickled my nose and
the steam ruined my sinuses.
725
00:50:49,574 --> 00:50:53,704
I may never smell again.
726
00:50:55,455 --> 00:50:58,619
Looks like rain.
727
00:51:04,798 --> 00:51:08,466
But ladies, ladies,
what would the bishops say?
728
00:51:08,677 --> 00:51:10,261
He just left a few minutes ago.
729
00:51:10,262 --> 00:51:12,762
Oh?
730
00:51:14,182 --> 00:51:18,643
Hey, look at King Cole,
just look at him.
731
00:51:20,689 --> 00:51:23,023
You're having a good time, aren't you?
732
00:51:23,024 --> 00:51:24,525
What do you look at?
733
00:51:24,526 --> 00:51:25,568
You lost my act up, get out of here.
734
00:51:25,569 --> 00:51:27,444
Why don't you jump off
the chair to get out of here?
735
00:51:27,445 --> 00:51:29,362
Come on.
736
00:51:32,742 --> 00:51:34,910
I have to drink more champagne,
more champagne!
737
00:51:34,911 --> 00:51:36,120
Let me ask you a question.
738
00:51:36,121 --> 00:51:37,246
What?
739
00:51:37,247 --> 00:51:38,747
Where's your dwarves tonight?
740
00:51:38,748 --> 00:51:39,832
Oh, it's past their bedtime.
741
00:51:39,833 --> 00:51:41,417
They don't even know I'm here.
742
00:51:41,418 --> 00:51:43,836
Yeah, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
743
00:51:43,837 --> 00:51:46,755
You got a little dwarf up there named...
744
00:51:46,756 --> 00:51:47,840
Which one?
745
00:51:47,841 --> 00:51:50,764
I've got seven of them.
746
00:51:51,178 --> 00:51:54,263
Oh, Cheech,
a little one named Cheech, right.
747
00:51:54,264 --> 00:51:56,891
He hasn't been gambling again, has he?
748
00:51:56,892 --> 00:51:59,101
That's right and he owes
me a lot of money, too.
749
00:51:59,102 --> 00:52:01,061
Okay, how much?
750
00:52:01,062 --> 00:52:01,937
There you go, there you go.
751
00:52:01,938 --> 00:52:03,147
Tick tick tick.
752
00:52:03,148 --> 00:52:04,732
Everybody going up to the room
753
00:52:04,733 --> 00:52:08,259
what do you think of that idea?
754
00:52:08,987 --> 00:52:10,821
I have a hard time deciding
which of you lovelies
755
00:52:10,822 --> 00:52:13,281
to do this with.
756
00:53:13,093 --> 00:53:14,844
Hiya, Frog Prince.
757
00:53:14,845 --> 00:53:17,304
Hey, gonna give it another shot tonight?
758
00:53:17,305 --> 00:53:19,181
Yes, Thomas, as you know,
759
00:53:19,182 --> 00:53:21,642
I must try and find
a virgin who will kiss me
760
00:53:21,643 --> 00:53:27,643
and lift the curse that turned me
into a frog so long ago.
761
00:54:07,314 --> 00:54:09,607
Hey, I got a couple of good ideas, huh?
762
00:54:09,608 --> 00:54:11,942
I take you someplace
else besides this place
763
00:54:11,943 --> 00:54:14,778
because here there's too much
things going on I don't like.
764
00:54:14,779 --> 00:54:17,906
Me, I'm a clean living guy.
765
00:54:20,660 --> 00:54:22,869
How do you like that, buster?
766
00:54:23,121 --> 00:54:25,831
You really think you give them a throat?
767
00:54:25,832 --> 00:54:29,126
Try me here, come one,
give me a little bit,
768
00:54:29,127 --> 00:54:30,544
give me a little bit.
769
00:54:30,545 --> 00:54:32,379
Come on, give me a little bit.
770
00:54:32,380 --> 00:54:35,256
Come on, oh, yes.
771
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:42,640
Oh, you belong to me, baby.
772
00:54:42,641 --> 00:54:45,726
You so nice.
773
00:54:52,984 --> 00:54:55,652
Hey!
774
00:55:02,285 --> 00:55:04,571
Get out of here!
775
00:55:04,955 --> 00:55:07,289
Now, sir, this is no fruity bootery no.
776
00:55:07,290 --> 00:55:09,416
This is people of your normal persuasion,
777
00:55:09,417 --> 00:55:11,919
people of your standard, ongoing interest.
778
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:13,629
Now, to introduce the place,
779
00:55:13,630 --> 00:55:15,673
we have an amazing three piece offer.
780
00:55:15,674 --> 00:55:16,549
Here's what you get.
781
00:55:16,550 --> 00:55:19,176
First, the visit to
our Salon du Cinderella
782
00:55:19,177 --> 00:55:22,680
where we have the girls
from the Rose Bowl parade,
783
00:55:22,681 --> 00:55:24,431
you know, with the little boots on
784
00:55:24,432 --> 00:55:27,351
and you slip those tight little
boots off and you go around
785
00:55:27,352 --> 00:55:29,854
and try to glass slipper on those chubby,
786
00:55:29,855 --> 00:55:31,397
aching little feet.
787
00:55:31,398 --> 00:55:34,483
Then number two, you visit
our Salon of S and M.
788
00:55:34,484 --> 00:55:36,193
Now, on your first visit,
789
00:55:36,194 --> 00:55:37,987
you can't expect the girls to flog you.
790
00:55:37,988 --> 00:55:40,072
They're nice girls,
but maybe I can talk to one
791
00:55:40,073 --> 00:55:41,740
and have them backhand you goodnight
792
00:55:41,741 --> 00:55:43,909
and then if you want, you can have sex
793
00:55:43,910 --> 00:55:45,411
with some of the ladies.
794
00:55:45,412 --> 00:55:46,829
That's $20 to have sex.
795
00:55:46,830 --> 00:55:47,913
Good, good.
796
00:55:47,914 --> 00:55:49,206
$30 if you want to touch the sides.
797
00:55:49,207 --> 00:55:50,708
Why don't you just go right inside
798
00:55:50,709 --> 00:55:52,460
- and enjoy yourself?
- Okay, thank you.
799
00:55:52,461 --> 00:55:57,352
I think you'll become
a lifetime member, sir.
800
00:55:57,549 --> 00:55:59,383
Don't worry about a thing, Princey.
801
00:55:59,384 --> 00:56:01,051
We're gonna have to going in, come on, baby.
802
00:56:01,052 --> 00:56:04,346
Just leave it to me, leave it to me.
803
00:56:04,347 --> 00:56:06,098
Now, that's alright.
804
00:56:06,099 --> 00:56:08,642
The man will put a
boner on Mother Hubbard.
805
00:56:08,643 --> 00:56:09,977
How's it going, Tommy?
806
00:56:09,978 --> 00:56:11,228
Oh, not so good.
807
00:56:11,229 --> 00:56:12,396
Things don't look very
well with you, Sirus.
808
00:56:12,397 --> 00:56:13,564
What's with the prince?
809
00:56:13,565 --> 00:56:18,695
Oh, man, it's like a Great Dane
in a poodle, piss poor.
810
00:56:20,697 --> 00:56:22,406
Sims, Sirus, how are you?
811
00:56:22,407 --> 00:56:23,574
I'm glad you're back.
812
00:56:23,575 --> 00:56:24,825
Hello.
813
00:56:24,826 --> 00:56:26,793
How'd it go?
814
00:56:26,870 --> 00:56:28,537
Nothing happened.
815
00:56:28,538 --> 00:56:29,955
That's all that ever happens.
816
00:56:29,956 --> 00:56:31,081
Nothing ever happens.
817
00:56:31,082 --> 00:56:33,834
First Snow White with the dwarves
818
00:56:33,835 --> 00:56:36,170
and the dwarves I've had up to here
819
00:56:36,171 --> 00:56:41,301
and then the whips and then
the cockamamie cauldron
820
00:56:41,510 --> 00:56:43,260
with the...
821
00:56:43,261 --> 00:56:45,554
You're looking at a desperate person.
822
00:56:45,555 --> 00:56:48,307
Well, Sirus, you're not taking care
823
00:56:48,308 --> 00:56:51,644
of our gentleman caller
very well, are you now?
824
00:56:51,645 --> 00:56:52,895
I got it!
825
00:56:52,896 --> 00:56:55,606
What about the star attraction?
826
00:56:55,607 --> 00:56:58,526
Uh, nobody goes into the Star Room
827
00:56:58,527 --> 00:57:03,196
unless you're talking some heavy money.
828
00:57:04,241 --> 00:57:06,909
15 percent of all I own.
829
00:57:06,910 --> 00:57:08,718
20.
830
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,331
16, and that's my last offer.
831
00:57:12,332 --> 00:57:15,209
Um, let's split the difference.
832
00:57:15,210 --> 00:57:18,545
18 and you got a deal.
833
00:57:22,968 --> 00:57:24,844
Alright.
834
00:57:24,845 --> 00:57:25,928
Where is she?
835
00:57:25,929 --> 00:57:27,221
Oh, wonderful, this way.
836
00:57:27,222 --> 00:57:28,430
Come on, baby.
837
00:57:28,431 --> 00:57:30,890
We'll get up something new.
838
00:57:31,351 --> 00:57:34,186
This is something really special
839
00:57:34,187 --> 00:57:37,713
and by the way, she's a virgin.
840
00:57:38,233 --> 00:57:41,360
♪ Dealer's okay, our fortunes are made ♪
841
00:57:41,361 --> 00:57:46,323
♪ Are going like a virgin and
there'll be a blessed event ♪
842
00:57:46,324 --> 00:57:50,995
♪ The day we get out 18 percent ♪
843
00:57:50,996 --> 00:57:54,081
♪ 'Scuse me, my King, good tidings I bring ♪
844
00:57:54,082 --> 00:57:59,170
♪ A virgin sleeping upstairs
in the highest room in the shoe ♪
845
00:57:59,171 --> 00:58:04,008
♪ And maybe she's the lady for you ♪
846
00:58:04,009 --> 00:58:06,760
♪ Although it's absurd, I just overheard ♪
847
00:58:06,761 --> 00:58:11,891
♪ That Sirus has a cutie
who's a virgin definitely ♪
848
00:58:12,267 --> 00:58:16,854
♪ That means that she's the lady for me ♪
849
00:58:16,855 --> 00:58:21,609
♪ A virgin, I'm gonna have
her checked by a surgeon ♪
850
00:58:21,610 --> 00:58:24,778
♪ To see the type I'd like to submerge in ♪
851
00:58:24,779 --> 00:58:29,658
♪ It's in the shoe,
I'm known as the royal despoiler ♪
852
00:58:29,659 --> 00:58:34,538
♪ A maiden, I'll try to use
the Queen for a trade in ♪
853
00:58:34,539 --> 00:58:37,708
♪ I'd clear the bloody palace and wade in ♪
854
00:58:37,709 --> 00:58:42,873
♪ 'Cause I've been waiting so long ♪
855
00:58:43,173 --> 00:58:45,716
♪ If that girl's asleep,
that means she counts sheep ♪
856
00:58:45,717 --> 00:58:49,011
♪ So surely as a shepherdess
she'd be first weight ♪
857
00:58:49,012 --> 00:58:54,097
♪ Yes, siree and maybe
she'd take over for me ♪
858
00:58:55,227 --> 00:58:58,646
♪ Pardon me boys but wait 'til the noise ♪
859
00:58:58,647 --> 00:59:01,649
♪ Don't hesitate she'll
hardly wait would indicate ♪
860
00:59:01,650 --> 00:59:04,652
♪ The hard to get some seafood mama ♪
861
00:59:04,653 --> 00:59:08,364
♪ So join the horn to climb
aboard the virgin express ♪
862
00:59:08,365 --> 00:59:11,527
♪ Woo woo ♪
863
00:59:11,993 --> 00:59:14,787
♪ I would abscond to some lily pond ♪
864
00:59:14,788 --> 00:59:16,413
♪ I've heard that there's a maiden ♪
865
00:59:16,414 --> 00:59:20,042
♪ Who's been trained amphibiously ♪
866
00:59:20,043 --> 00:59:24,129
♪ And maybe she's the lady for me ♪
867
00:59:24,631 --> 00:59:29,426
♪ Que bella, a girl who's
never been with a fella ♪
868
00:59:29,427 --> 00:59:33,013
♪ I tell you, Otto, that's what I smell ♪
869
00:59:33,014 --> 00:59:37,726
♪ A maiden who's so
pure she must be Italian ♪
870
00:59:37,727 --> 00:59:42,439
♪ A beauty and everybody
feels it's his duty ♪
871
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:45,568
♪ To make it with this virginal cutie ♪
872
00:59:45,569 --> 00:59:50,369
♪ She's been a virgin so long ♪
873
00:59:50,907 --> 00:59:55,369
♪ A virgin, the people in
this shoe need no urgin' ♪
874
00:59:55,370 --> 00:59:58,581
♪ To try it with the best heart surgeon ♪
875
00:59:58,582 --> 01:00:03,502
♪ 'Cause anybody knows
that she's worth a kingdom ♪
876
01:00:03,503 --> 01:00:08,174
♪ A beauty and everybody
feels it's his duty ♪
877
01:00:08,175 --> 01:00:11,427
♪ To make it with this virginal cutie ♪
878
01:00:11,428 --> 01:00:16,319
♪ Who's been a virgin too long ♪
879
01:00:18,518 --> 01:00:20,853
♪ Been a virgin too long ♪
880
01:00:20,854 --> 01:00:23,355
Boy, I can't wait to see her.
881
01:00:23,356 --> 01:00:24,815
But no touching.
882
01:00:24,816 --> 01:00:25,983
You have my royal word.
883
01:00:25,984 --> 01:00:27,151
No, I mean you, Sirus.
884
01:00:27,152 --> 01:00:29,528
Oh, for 18 percent
of the royal exchequer,
885
01:00:29,529 --> 01:00:34,949
I'd give up pussy for life,
if I have to that is.
886
01:00:59,893 --> 01:01:02,228
Are you ready?
887
01:01:02,229 --> 01:01:03,354
I'm ready, I'm ready.
888
01:01:03,355 --> 01:01:06,524
And here we have our star attraction.
889
01:01:06,525 --> 01:01:09,234
Here we go.
890
01:01:12,447 --> 01:01:15,491
Uh,
891
01:01:15,492 --> 01:01:19,328
I want you to know that
I really appreciate this.
892
01:01:19,329 --> 01:01:21,330
You are shy, aren't you?
893
01:01:21,331 --> 01:01:24,040
You know these things take time.
894
01:01:25,210 --> 01:01:27,002
See for a minute,
I thought it was gonna turn out
895
01:01:27,003 --> 01:01:29,088
to be my dream Princess.
896
01:01:29,089 --> 01:01:32,490
Well, I guess you can't hope for too much.
897
01:01:34,302 --> 01:01:36,637
Sirus, I want you to
know how grateful I am,
898
01:01:36,638 --> 01:01:39,181
how much I really appreciate
everything that you've done,
899
01:01:39,182 --> 01:01:42,268
but I know who I want
and as long as any time,
900
01:01:42,269 --> 01:01:47,240
as long as there's a chance,
I'm gonna find her.
901
01:01:49,484 --> 01:01:52,777
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute!
902
01:01:54,990 --> 01:01:57,783
Just think, a virgin.
903
01:01:57,784 --> 01:02:01,151
I know she's here, but where?
904
01:02:01,329 --> 01:02:04,914
Never fear, my nose is here.
905
01:02:05,459 --> 01:02:07,042
Wait.
906
01:02:07,043 --> 01:02:11,547
Simp, you just blew
18 percent of a kingdom!
907
01:02:11,548 --> 01:02:13,632
She's on the top floor.
908
01:02:13,633 --> 01:02:17,093
Top floor!
909
01:02:24,144 --> 01:02:25,728
Going down?
910
01:02:25,729 --> 01:02:27,480
I never go down.
911
01:02:27,481 --> 01:02:29,687
I always go up!
912
01:02:29,816 --> 01:02:31,734
You stay here, I'll go after him.
913
01:02:31,735 --> 01:02:33,941
But, aw, shit.
914
01:02:40,952 --> 01:02:43,037
Sirus, quick!
915
01:02:43,038 --> 01:02:44,455
There's a whole mob coming
out of the elevator.
916
01:02:44,456 --> 01:02:46,290
You get rid of her,
I'll take care of the Prince.
917
01:02:46,291 --> 01:02:48,656
Quick, out the side door!
918
01:02:52,672 --> 01:02:54,798
Woo, virgin!
919
01:02:57,552 --> 01:02:59,360
Virgin?
920
01:02:59,638 --> 01:03:01,446
Virgin?
921
01:03:04,601 --> 01:03:06,887
Innocent girl?
922
01:03:07,979 --> 01:03:11,481
Hey, what's going on here?
923
01:03:13,527 --> 01:03:14,985
This way, Sirus.
924
01:03:14,986 --> 01:03:16,153
My child, where are you?
925
01:03:16,154 --> 01:03:18,280
Where can you be?
926
01:03:18,281 --> 01:03:23,445
Room, empty, barren,
no women, least of all, a virgin.
927
01:03:27,874 --> 01:03:30,668
You said she would be here!
928
01:03:30,669 --> 01:03:34,320
You, you and that nose of yours!
929
01:03:36,550 --> 01:03:37,967
I said the virgin was here.
930
01:03:37,968 --> 01:03:39,927
My nose make no mistake.
931
01:03:39,928 --> 01:03:42,388
You nose makes no mistake?
932
01:03:42,389 --> 01:03:45,198
You nose, sir, stinks!
933
01:03:45,642 --> 01:03:47,726
Eh, no talk that way about my nose.
934
01:03:47,727 --> 01:03:51,939
That's all I got, my nose
and this schmuck over here.
935
01:03:51,940 --> 01:03:53,107
You get me in a lot of trouble.
936
01:03:53,108 --> 01:03:56,277
You're gonna pound beef
for this and half pay.
937
01:03:56,278 --> 01:03:57,528
Wait.
938
01:03:57,529 --> 01:03:58,696
Yes?
939
01:03:58,697 --> 01:04:00,947
Everybody shut up!
940
01:04:02,325 --> 01:04:03,951
I smell something again.
941
01:04:03,952 --> 01:04:05,828
Trust me, King.
942
01:04:05,829 --> 01:04:07,746
The virgin, she went this way.
943
01:04:07,747 --> 01:04:08,956
Follow me, excuse me.
944
01:04:08,957 --> 01:04:11,040
Come on.
945
01:05:01,301 --> 01:05:04,761
Sirus, quickly over here.
946
01:05:17,442 --> 01:05:22,606
Now, I think it's time you
and I had a nice long talk.
947
01:05:26,368 --> 01:05:28,410
I know what your problem is, Prince.
948
01:05:28,411 --> 01:05:29,787
It's that you've never been with a woman.
949
01:05:29,788 --> 01:05:30,955
Listen...
950
01:05:30,956 --> 01:05:32,081
I'm going to show you things
951
01:05:32,082 --> 01:05:34,667
that you can never imagine
in your wildest dry dreams.
952
01:05:34,668 --> 01:05:35,709
I don't have time for this.
953
01:05:35,710 --> 01:05:36,836
It's Wednesday.
954
01:05:36,837 --> 01:05:38,045
At 12:00 I turn into a peasant.
955
01:05:38,046 --> 01:05:39,296
Oh, touch me, put your hands on me.
956
01:05:39,297 --> 01:05:40,381
I don't want to touch you.
957
01:05:40,382 --> 01:05:41,632
Kiss me, kiss me, touch me.
958
01:05:41,633 --> 01:05:42,800
I'll touch you, okay.
959
01:05:42,801 --> 01:05:43,884
Come on, kiss me.
960
01:05:43,885 --> 01:05:45,136
Put your mouth on mine.
961
01:05:45,137 --> 01:05:46,345
Okay.
962
01:05:46,346 --> 01:05:47,388
Oh, I want you.
963
01:05:47,389 --> 01:05:48,639
I can teach you anything
that you want to know.
964
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:49,723
I can solve your problem.
965
01:05:49,724 --> 01:05:50,808
No, please, I really I have to go.
966
01:05:50,809 --> 01:05:52,268
Fabulous, you're absolutely
wonderful and soft.
967
01:05:52,269 --> 01:05:54,728
- No.
- You're warm.
968
01:05:54,729 --> 01:05:56,063
No, I'm a fake.
969
01:05:56,064 --> 01:05:57,606
You're beautiful, oh, my goodness.
970
01:05:57,607 --> 01:05:58,816
It would never work.
971
01:05:58,817 --> 01:06:00,693
It's been so long.
972
01:06:00,694 --> 01:06:01,861
No, I...
973
01:06:01,862 --> 01:06:03,070
Oh, you just do something to me.
974
01:06:03,071 --> 01:06:04,238
Oh.
975
01:06:04,239 --> 01:06:05,322
Can you feel anything?
976
01:06:05,323 --> 01:06:06,490
Uh, sharp pain in the neck.
977
01:06:06,491 --> 01:06:07,658
I think it's probably this.
978
01:06:07,659 --> 01:06:08,826
- It's a whip.
- And your throbbing heart...
979
01:06:08,827 --> 01:06:10,411
Yes, throbbing good throbbing.
980
01:06:10,412 --> 01:06:12,663
Listen, maybe we could
take a rain check on this.
981
01:06:12,664 --> 01:06:14,582
You know, if you're ever
in my kingdom, look me up.
982
01:06:14,583 --> 01:06:15,833
I have a shoe.
983
01:06:15,834 --> 01:06:18,835
It's not as big as this shoe.
984
01:06:19,087 --> 01:06:20,895
Say now.
985
01:06:21,006 --> 01:06:22,423
Hey, sucker.
986
01:06:22,424 --> 01:06:24,383
My name is Sirus.
987
01:06:24,384 --> 01:06:26,802
Sirus what, the sissy?
988
01:06:26,803 --> 01:06:28,387
You know something?
989
01:06:28,388 --> 01:06:30,598
Your face looks kind of familiar.
990
01:06:30,599 --> 01:06:32,141
Where do you come from, boy?
991
01:06:32,142 --> 01:06:33,984
Boy!
992
01:06:34,102 --> 01:06:38,354
Boy lives in the jungle with Tarzan, man.
993
01:07:46,049 --> 01:07:48,634
Listen, I really do, I have to go.
994
01:07:48,635 --> 01:07:51,262
Okay, we're holding, just basic holding.
995
01:07:51,263 --> 01:07:53,680
Okay, now, I'm leaving.
996
01:07:55,433 --> 01:07:56,684
Do you feel me?
997
01:07:56,685 --> 01:07:58,018
- Yes, I feel.
- Do you feel me?
998
01:07:58,019 --> 01:07:59,186
Yes, I feel that, yes.
999
01:07:59,187 --> 01:08:00,271
And then your clothes are coming off?
1000
01:08:00,272 --> 01:08:02,314
No.
1001
01:08:02,315 --> 01:08:03,899
- They are.
- Oh, well,
1002
01:08:03,900 --> 01:08:06,026
we'll just hold them
together like that there
1003
01:08:06,027 --> 01:08:07,194
and that's good.
1004
01:08:07,195 --> 01:08:08,279
Don't be shy.
1005
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:09,613
You are very shy, aren't you?
1006
01:08:09,614 --> 01:08:10,614
My shy?
1007
01:08:10,615 --> 01:08:11,949
I like it.
1008
01:08:11,950 --> 01:08:13,159
My shy?
1009
01:08:13,160 --> 01:08:14,285
We have plenty of time, you know.
1010
01:08:14,286 --> 01:08:15,452
No, no, time I don't have.
1011
01:08:15,453 --> 01:08:17,329
What's that thing you got down there?
1012
01:08:17,330 --> 01:08:19,039
That's my codpiece.
1013
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,500
You know, you're a funny looking nigga.
1014
01:08:21,501 --> 01:08:23,263
Shit.
1015
01:08:28,258 --> 01:08:31,301
Wait, I smell something.
1016
01:08:39,311 --> 01:08:41,645
My nose say she's on this floor.
1017
01:08:41,646 --> 01:08:44,064
You three check in there
1018
01:08:44,065 --> 01:08:46,715
and I'll go in here.
1019
01:08:47,777 --> 01:08:50,236
Sure, boss.
1020
01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:02,666
Ah!
1021
01:09:02,667 --> 01:09:05,336
What's the matter, sire?
1022
01:09:05,337 --> 01:09:07,987
Prince, Prince Frog!
1023
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:29,610
Can you feel me?
1024
01:09:29,611 --> 01:09:31,111
Yeah, I can feel you, yes,
1025
01:09:31,112 --> 01:09:32,404
but I really, I have to go now.
1026
01:09:32,405 --> 01:09:33,405
Oh, that's good, that's good.
1027
01:09:33,406 --> 01:09:34,532
Yes.
1028
01:09:34,533 --> 01:09:36,283
Yes, next to me, yes.
1029
01:09:36,284 --> 01:09:37,952
- No, wait!
- Next to me.
1030
01:09:37,953 --> 01:09:39,203
Oh, no, my Prince darling, no!
1031
01:09:39,204 --> 01:09:44,083
Wait, wait, wait!
1032
01:09:44,084 --> 01:09:46,459
Come back here!
1033
01:09:49,798 --> 01:09:51,173
Where is she?
1034
01:09:51,174 --> 01:09:52,174
Aw, shut up.
1035
01:09:52,175 --> 01:09:54,468
Come over, I want to talk to you.
1036
01:09:54,469 --> 01:09:57,555
I had him so close he was
almost inside of my nostrils,
1037
01:09:57,556 --> 01:09:59,056
I smell him so good.
1038
01:09:59,057 --> 01:10:00,558
You, I gotta wait for you all the time.
1039
01:10:00,559 --> 01:10:02,226
You louse me up all the time.
1040
01:10:02,227 --> 01:10:04,562
You like to have too much fun,
you fall, you drink,
1041
01:10:04,563 --> 01:10:06,814
you under the girls' skirts
and play with the squeezebox.
1042
01:10:06,815 --> 01:10:08,732
I don't know what you do no more.
1043
01:10:08,733 --> 01:10:10,192
You louse me up.
1044
01:10:10,193 --> 01:10:11,443
You're always putting me down.
1045
01:10:11,444 --> 01:10:13,779
You put me down,
you put me down, all the time!
1046
01:10:13,780 --> 01:10:15,489
I put you down?
1047
01:10:15,490 --> 01:10:17,658
When I met you, you was down.
1048
01:10:17,659 --> 01:10:19,451
I'm gonna tell you something.
1049
01:10:19,452 --> 01:10:21,078
This is not the only thing making me mad.
1050
01:10:21,079 --> 01:10:22,246
Let's not talk about it!
1051
01:10:22,247 --> 01:10:23,289
Let's do it!
1052
01:10:23,290 --> 01:10:24,832
En guard, come on!
1053
01:10:24,833 --> 01:10:29,963
En guard, en guard, en guard.
1054
01:10:31,089 --> 01:10:33,214
You son of a bitch.
1055
01:10:33,592 --> 01:10:34,925
I kill you, I kill you!
1056
01:10:34,926 --> 01:10:36,802
What are you doing?
1057
01:10:36,803 --> 01:10:39,597
Will you leave that man alone?
1058
01:10:39,598 --> 01:10:41,432
What are you doing here?
1059
01:10:41,433 --> 01:10:42,558
It's not like it looks.
1060
01:10:42,559 --> 01:10:44,684
- I was giving little massage...
- Massage?
1061
01:10:55,822 --> 01:10:58,615
Wait 'til I catch you!
1062
01:11:00,994 --> 01:11:03,203
I hear something.
1063
01:11:06,458 --> 01:11:11,065
Oh, I see you!
1064
01:11:13,131 --> 01:11:15,882
Come with me, come on!
1065
01:11:20,722 --> 01:11:22,530
Ah, ha!
1066
01:11:52,254 --> 01:11:53,754
Sirus!
1067
01:11:53,755 --> 01:11:56,589
It's my dream Princess.
1068
01:12:07,144 --> 01:12:11,432
Hey, Gussie.
1069
01:12:15,777 --> 01:12:18,988
Look what I have for you.
1070
01:12:18,989 --> 01:12:20,739
- A prince.
- I know.
1071
01:12:20,740 --> 01:12:22,783
I've been waiting for him to kiss me.
1072
01:12:22,784 --> 01:12:24,618
What took you so long?
1073
01:12:24,619 --> 01:12:25,870
Not so fast.
1074
01:12:25,871 --> 01:12:28,664
You have to turn around first, you know.
1075
01:12:28,665 --> 01:12:32,293
Okay.
1076
01:12:32,294 --> 01:12:35,713
Oh, you've got to do better than that.
1077
01:12:35,714 --> 01:12:38,284
I don't know how.
1078
01:12:41,761 --> 01:12:44,053
I'll show you how.
1079
01:14:25,836 --> 01:14:29,965
I waited such a long time to find you.
1080
01:15:14,831 --> 01:15:16,540
Where's the virgin?
1081
01:15:16,541 --> 01:15:18,125
She's in there.
1082
01:15:18,126 --> 01:15:21,003
But wait, you can't go in there!
1083
01:15:21,004 --> 01:15:25,131
Oh, no.
1084
01:15:44,486 --> 01:15:46,695
It's probably the last
virgin in Fairy Land
1085
01:15:46,696 --> 01:15:48,777
and I blew it.
1086
01:15:54,830 --> 01:15:56,497
Well, listen, thank you very much.
1087
01:15:56,498 --> 01:15:57,790
We have to go now.
1088
01:15:57,791 --> 01:15:59,583
Really.
1089
01:15:59,584 --> 01:16:00,626
Now, you remember everything I told you.
1090
01:16:00,627 --> 01:16:02,086
- Alright.
- Okay, goodbye!
1091
01:16:02,087 --> 01:16:03,295
Is everything okay now?
1092
01:16:03,296 --> 01:16:05,171
Yeah!
1093
01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:13,563
- Bye!
- See you later!
1094
01:16:13,974 --> 01:16:16,266
Have fun!
1095
01:16:22,232 --> 01:16:24,040
Have fun!
1096
01:16:49,718 --> 01:16:51,385
Is the Prince in?
1097
01:16:51,386 --> 01:16:52,678
Always.
1098
01:16:52,679 --> 01:16:54,388
Is he up?
1099
01:16:54,389 --> 01:16:55,848
Constantly.
1100
01:16:55,849 --> 01:16:57,808
May we see him?
1101
01:16:57,809 --> 01:17:00,560
Doesn't look good.
1102
01:17:58,495 --> 01:18:00,382
Hi, there.
1103
01:18:00,747 --> 01:18:04,583
Now, wasn't that a wonderful
motion picture, friends?
1104
01:18:04,584 --> 01:18:08,504
Wasn't it marvelous when
the Prince met the love
1105
01:18:08,505 --> 01:18:11,423
of his life and by golly, you know,
1106
01:18:11,424 --> 01:18:13,467
they lived happily ever after.
1107
01:18:13,468 --> 01:18:16,053
Now, we want you to go home,
tell your friends
1108
01:18:16,054 --> 01:18:19,682
and neighbors about this warm
and wonderful motion picture.
1109
01:18:19,683 --> 01:18:21,851
It's a family picture, friends.
1110
01:18:21,852 --> 01:18:24,937
Mom and the kids can come
for the music and dancing
1111
01:18:24,938 --> 01:18:27,064
and Dad will enjoy the meat.
1112
01:18:27,065 --> 01:18:30,192
So you go and tell your friends
about this wonderful film
1113
01:18:30,193 --> 01:18:32,862
and to show their thanks and appreciation
1114
01:18:32,863 --> 01:18:35,447
of your attendance at this theater today,
1115
01:18:35,448 --> 01:18:38,409
the producers have asked me
to make available to you
1116
01:18:38,410 --> 01:18:41,620
a wonderful three piece
set of merchandise,
1117
01:18:41,621 --> 01:18:44,415
available only to our patrons.
1118
01:18:44,416 --> 01:18:47,168
I'm going to show you
now that three piece set
1119
01:18:47,169 --> 01:18:49,170
I think you're going to want to own.
1120
01:18:49,171 --> 01:18:52,423
Item number one, a one ounce jar
1121
01:18:52,424 --> 01:18:57,554
of Aunt La Voh's love potion,
salve, unguent, and balm.
1122
01:18:57,721 --> 01:19:00,973
By golly, put a few drops of
that in a loved one's beverage,
1123
01:19:00,974 --> 01:19:03,434
she'll probably be on the gear shift
1124
01:19:03,435 --> 01:19:05,227
if you know what I mean.
1125
01:19:05,228 --> 01:19:08,147
Put that on any part of your body,
private or public,
1126
01:19:08,148 --> 01:19:11,150
and the sensations you
get you'll thank me for
1127
01:19:11,151 --> 01:19:12,818
the longest day you live.
1128
01:19:12,819 --> 01:19:15,070
Let's call that one item number one.
1129
01:19:15,071 --> 01:19:17,357
Item number two,
1130
01:19:19,701 --> 01:19:24,308
the official Fairytale
Little Bo Peep sheep.
1131
01:19:26,249 --> 01:19:28,834
This sheep is designed
for the single gent,
1132
01:19:28,835 --> 01:19:31,962
the lonely fellow,
if you know what I mean,
1133
01:19:31,963 --> 01:19:34,215
and what you do with that in the privacy
1134
01:19:34,216 --> 01:19:37,635
of your own home is
nobody's business but your own.
1135
01:19:37,636 --> 01:19:39,929
Let's call that one item number two.
1136
01:19:39,930 --> 01:19:44,252
Item number three, isn't this wonderful?
1137
01:19:44,601 --> 01:19:48,312
That's your official codpiece as worn
1138
01:19:48,313 --> 01:19:51,398
by Sirus in this motion picture.
1139
01:19:51,399 --> 01:19:53,943
Friends, that is an amazing codpiece.
1140
01:19:53,944 --> 01:19:57,571
It's ideal for dining
and disco, desk or den.
1141
01:19:57,572 --> 01:20:00,116
By golly, just wear that
codpiece on the beach
1142
01:20:00,117 --> 01:20:03,452
or while dancing and
the girls will love it, too.
1143
01:20:03,453 --> 01:20:04,703
They'll say to you,
1144
01:20:04,704 --> 01:20:06,747
"By golly, you are a lovely man.
1145
01:20:06,748 --> 01:20:09,500
"That is a handsome member indeed."
1146
01:20:09,501 --> 01:20:11,043
You'll thank me for that.
1147
01:20:11,044 --> 01:20:12,586
That's something everyone wants.
1148
01:20:12,587 --> 01:20:15,756
It's something no young fellow
should be without, by golly.
1149
01:21:21,293 --> 01:21:26,505
Friends, I want to thank you
the longest day you live.
85204
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