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# You must remember this
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00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,814
# A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,733
# A sigh is just a sigh
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00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:25,015
# The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:29,059
# As time goes by #
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All ashore that's going ashore!
7
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- You sure you won't come on with us?
- No, thanks, Lionel's tired.
8
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- I didn't say anything about being tired.
- Well, I'm tired, so you must be.
9
00:00:46,940 --> 00:00:50,615
Oh, I see.
Thanks for a delicious meal, Alistair.
10
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,612
Absolutely de nada, Li.
11
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:55,816
You're coming to the country tomorrow?
12
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,698
Yeah, it will be nice
to get out of London for a bit.
13
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,498
Are Sandy and Har coming?
14
00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:03,492
- Harry.
- Sorry. Harry.
15
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:07,175
- No, they can't make it, I'm afraid.
- Oh, shame.
16
00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:09,296
Catch you guys tomorrow, then.
17
00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:13,889
Good night, Alistair. See you later, Judy.
18
00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:17,893
- Or not.
- Good night, Mum. Good night, Lionel.
19
00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:20,335
- Enjoy yourselves.
- Wagons roll!
20
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,736
Where are they going on to?
21
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,892
Knowing Alistair, it's probably Istanbul.
22
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,777
We never used to go on anywhere.
23
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,010
We didn't have any money
to go on anywhere.
24
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:38,059
That's true.
I should have stuck to the millionaire.
25
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:41,416
- Which millionaire?
- I forget his name now.
26
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,334
Getty. Something like that.
27
00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:52,575
- We did go on once.
- Oh, did we? Where?
28
00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:56,050
Lyon's Corner House in the Strand.
It was your birthday.
29
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So it was. There was an organ.
30
00:01:58,180 --> 00:02:00,057
Yes, there was.
31
00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,654
And we danced till
the small hours of the morning.
32
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:05,652
A quarter to 11.
I had to be back in barracks by midnight.
33
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:08,652
"The small hours of the morning"
has a nicer ring to it.
34
00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:11,538
It's a shame Sandy
can't come down to the country.
35
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,088
I don't know if she can or not.
I'm not asking her.
36
00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:16,410
- Why, what's she done?
- Nothing.
37
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:19,219
- I just thought she'd like to stay here.
- On her own?
38
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,734
Harry's not on duty this weekend.
39
00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:24,288
Oh, I see.
Have they got to that stage, then?
40
00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:27,770
- I don't know.
- You're not forcing the pace, are you?
41
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:30,579
You've got your
Victorian face on again.
42
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:34,130
Poor boy! He lives in a section house.
It's full of policemen.
43
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:38,179
I lived in a barracks full of soldiers. You
lived in a nurses' home full of nurses.
44
00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,775
Don't make it sound so virtuous.
It's the way things were then.
45
00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:45,455
But what would you have done if we'd
been offered a house for the weekend?
46
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,496
Panicked, probably.
47
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,855
Is that you, Sandy?
48
00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:55,092
- As ever was. Nice meal?
- Lovely. And you?
49
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:58,889
A pub one.
Quite enjoyable, apart from the row.
50
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:01,335
By sheer coincidence,
Harry chose a pub
51
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:04,935
that was showing live coverage
of some European football match.
52
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- I forgot that was on. Who won?
- I don't know.
53
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:11,533
We're going down to the country
for the weekend. Is Harry off duty?
54
00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:14,339
Yes, he is, as a matter of fact, but...
55
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,775
I did tell you, Alistair gets on his nerves.
56
00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:19,215
and if they're there
for a whole weekend...
57
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,768
- I wasn't suggesting you should come.
- Oh!
58
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,018
Oh.
59
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:28,775
- What Jean means...
- Sandy knows what I mean.
60
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,689
We're not forcing the pace or anything.
61
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,850
No, of course not.
62
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:37,932
Well, I think I might turn in. Good night.
63
00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,851
- Good night.
- Good night.
64
00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:45,697
- You sure you didn't notice the score?
- It was either 2-2 or 4-2.
65
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:49,571
Either 2-2 or 4-2!
66
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,458
There's not much difference, is there?
67
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:57,413
No, it's all right, Harry, it's not your fault.
68
00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,890
Maybe some other time.
Talk to you next week.
69
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,732
Bye.
70
00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:07,414
- I'm fed up with demonstrators!
- Demonstrators? Why?
71
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,537
Because they disrupt
other people's lives, that's why.
72
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:13,976
There's some big demonstration
in Hyde Park. So what happens?
73
00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:17,416
Off-duty policemen are
suddenly on-duty policemen.
74
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,331
Oh, what a shame.
75
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:22,218
You might as well come down
to the country with us, then.
76
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,018
I don't want to play gooseberry.
77
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,809
You won't be. Besides, Lol's
six brothers might ask you out again.
78
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,573
In that case, I should
take five girlfriends with me.
79
00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:33,777
Will you stop following me around?
It's just a cardboard box.
80
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:37,250
- I know. I want to know what's in it!
- Just things!
81
00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:40,013
Every time we go down to the country
you take boxes.
82
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:44,173
We have a car. I'm not asking you
to walk all the way down.
83
00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:45,818
- For goodness' sake!
- Aaah!
84
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,652
Aaah!
85
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:50,095
Is this some kind of grown-ups' game?
86
00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:52,296
- It's her and her boxes!
- Her?
87
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:56,134
It's Jean Hardcastle and her boxes, then.
Come on, what's in that one?
88
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,017
If you must know, candles.
89
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:00,694
- Candles?
- Why candles?
90
00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:03,010
Power cuts are not unknown
in the country.
91
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,658
What would happen if we had one?
92
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,254
You'd turn to me and say,
"Do we have any candles?"
93
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,535
No. We'd just wait for
Mrs Bale to come in
94
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,975
with the candles
she keeps for emergencies.
95
00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:14,494
It doesn't do any harm.
There's room in the car.
96
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,172
There won't be at this rate.
97
00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:18,376
- How many have you got in there?
- Enough.
98
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:21,452
I've left enough for Sandy in case
there's a power cut here.
99
00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:25,249
I'm coming with you now,
if that's all right. Harry's on duty.
100
00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:28,776
- You said he wasn't.
- There's a demonstration in Hyde Park.
101
00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:30,612
- Damn people.
- That's not fair.
102
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,578
You don't even know what
they're demonstrating about.
103
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:37,539
I don't need to know. It's just an excuse
to make noise, cause traffic jams,
104
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,612
leave a lot of litter
and spoil other people's weekends.
105
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Like mine and Harry's,
106
00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:45,690
and the families of all the other
policemen who have to do extra duty.
107
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,930
Well, yeah, I see that.
108
00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,580
Don't get browbeaten so easily.
109
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,457
Think of the Jarrow marchers.
110
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:55,373
The Jarrow marchers?
That was years ago.
111
00:05:55,460 --> 00:05:59,453
I know, but those men had a just cause.
They marched for the right to work.
112
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:01,098
- What sort of work?
- Mining.
113
00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:04,968
Shipbuilding. And the difference was,
they marched in an orderly fashion
114
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,130
with only a few policemen
to escort them.
115
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:10,132
Not this rent-a-mob
who demonstrate as a way of life!
116
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:13,690
Look, don't let's argue about it.
I'm sorry I ever mentioned it now.
117
00:06:13,780 --> 00:06:15,657
Let's just have a nice weekend.
118
00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:17,537
- Mining!
- Lionel!
119
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:21,374
- I'm going to fill another box.
- What's in this one, spare bedding?
120
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,613
- Hello, Mrs Bale.
- Good afternoon.
121
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,010
You're 15 minutes behind
your estimated time of arrival.
122
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,330
You sound like an airport
announcement.
123
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:45,617
I wouldn't know.
I've never been to an airport.
124
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,258
Let me help with the luggage.
125
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,217
No, really, Mrs Bale,
we can manage.
126
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,291
Why don't you make us
a nice cup of tea?
127
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:55,817
Tea will be served
in exactly 17 and a half minutes.
128
00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,690
Contraband.
129
00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:08,250
It's just a few personal effects,
Mrs Bale, honestly.
130
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:11,013
- No eggs?
- No eggs, I promise.
131
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,170
- Hmm.
- We can manage.
132
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:16,093
There are too many people
in the village who say that.
133
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:19,570
But come a situation,
and it's sheer anarchy.
134
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:26,259
Really, Mrs Bale, don't hold them like
that, because the bottom's a bit...
135
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,618
Personal effects, you said?
136
00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:41,889
Let's hope she doesn't
find the distress flares.
137
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,690
On the dot, Mrs Bale.
138
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:53,058
I was born punctually and saw no reason
to be anything else for the rest of my life.
139
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,608
Will the young people
be coming for the weekend?
140
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,612
Alistair's bringing the girls down
after work.
141
00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:01,851
- They won't be bringing any boxes.
- I'm pleased to hear it.
142
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,569
Did I understand you to say there
was a situation in the village?
143
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,412
- Yes, there is.
- What is it?
144
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,253
- A situation.
- What sort of situation?
145
00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:11,978
It's a local matter.
146
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,937
Well, there you are, then.
147
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:15,897
No, it's not. We're locals.
148
00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:18,255
With respect, Mrs Hardcastle,
149
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:21,013
- you are strictly part-timers.
- exactly.
150
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,898
I'm sorry,
but Lionel and I insist that you tell us.
151
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:26,536
Very well.
152
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:30,090
There are plans for a bypass
for the village.
153
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:32,569
Are there? Are there?
154
00:08:32,660 --> 00:08:35,094
- An excellent cup of tea, Mrs Bale.
- Thank you.
155
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,772
You mentioned anarchy.
156
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:39,328
Perhaps a slight exaggeration.
157
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,014
Shall we say... confusion.
158
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,854
Almost everyone in the village feels
the need to have their voice heard...
159
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,134
Of course they do.
160
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:50,292
But organisation is not
the village's strong point.
161
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:54,896
They didn't finish
the war memorial until 1961.
162
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:59,258
So any hope of an organised protest is,
at the very best, remote.
163
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:03,128
- I see... Mrs Bale...
- Would you excuse us, Mrs Bale?
164
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:08,135
Yes, of course. It's almost time
for the shipping forecast, anyway.
165
00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,892
The last I heard,
166
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:13,529
the wind was doing some
very peculiar things in the Irish Sea.
167
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,497
Just stop it, all right?
168
00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:18,333
- Stop what?
- You know very well what.
169
00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:21,332
Your eyes lit up as soon as
you heard the word "protest".
170
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:24,571
- Aren't you at all interested?
- It's not our business.
171
00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:28,653
I don't want you charging around waving
a placard like a latter-day Joan of Arc!
172
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:31,129
She didn't have a placard.
She had a banner.
173
00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:34,018
Actually, a placard's better.
174
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:37,092
It doesn't wave about
in the wind so much.
175
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:41,697
- Hello, Mrs Bale.
- Hello, Mrs Bale.
176
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,771
Good evening, Miss Judith, Miss Sandy.
177
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:46,328
You haven't brought
any excess baggage, I hope?
178
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,490
Only Alistair.
179
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:52,095
May I say, Mrs Bale, you look younger
every time I see you?
180
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:55,729
You may say it,
but don't expect me to believe it.
181
00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:59,369
Your rooms are ready.
Dinner will be at 8:07.
182
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,576
How many rooms?
183
00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:05,730
- There are three of you.
- Ah.
184
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:09,859
- "Ah," what?
- Well, the thing is, Mrs Bale...
185
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:14,496
Think of a tall balloonist
with piercing blue eyes.
186
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:17,731
I didn't say three rooms
had to be occupied.
187
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,811
I shall be in the kitchen.
188
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:24,135
A tall balloonist
with piercing blue eyes?
189
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:26,495
She was young once too, you know.
190
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:35,258
I agree with mum. I think a bypass
is a disgrace. Think of the wildlife.
191
00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:37,729
We're in Hampshire, not Africa.
192
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:40,129
There are little rabbits and things.
193
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,939
It's bound to go through
an area of natural beauty.
194
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:45,170
- You've seen the plans?
- They always do.
195
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:47,376
The demonstrators will be arriving soon.
196
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,894
I know you've got a thing
about demonstrators,
197
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,494
- but something has to be done.
- By somebody else.
198
00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:54,696
- That's how wars start!
- Oh!
199
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,977
- You know what strikes me?
- What's that?
200
00:10:58,060 --> 00:11:01,655
Speaking eco-wise, things should be...
201
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,698
like that, right?
202
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,533
But if this happens...
203
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,736
can it ever be put back?
204
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:15,768
- I don't know what he's saying.
- That's a very good point, Alistair.
205
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:18,499
- They'll chain themselves to trees.
- Who will?
206
00:11:18,580 --> 00:11:20,935
Not the villagers, the professionals.
207
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,454
They'll build tree houses, dig tunnels.
208
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,134
And who gets stuck with
the job of moving them on
209
00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:27,778
and coming out as the villains?
210
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:30,135
An under-manned police force!
211
00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:32,814
Anyone would think
you were seeing a policeman.
212
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,539
I'm not seeing a policeman
and I think she's right.
213
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:37,451
I still say it's not our business.
214
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:40,532
It's everybody's business.
Remember what Alistair said.
215
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:43,088
I didn't understand a word of that.
216
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,172
- OK...
- Oh, not again!
217
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:48,899
Alistair, there is absolutely no point.
218
00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:51,335
Lionel is in a hermit crab mode.
219
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:55,971
However, Mum and I know
that you are with us on this one.
220
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:02,252
Sorry, Li.
It can't always be an all guy thing.
221
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,819
So we have a clear majority.
222
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,698
This is a discussion,
not a vote in the House of Commons.
223
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:10,853
- Just discussion won't get us anywhere.
- Good, as we're not going anywhere.
224
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:14,729
Oh, all right, have it your way.
225
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,095
Chain yourselves to trees, live up trees,
226
00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,774
dig tunnels, only think on this.
227
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:23,853
Would you really get involved if local
opinion wanted you to stay out of it?
228
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:27,694
- Well, no, but I don't see...
- I was right about the Irish Sea.
229
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,374
And I shall be serving
coffee in four minutes.
230
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:33,975
Mrs Bale, this bypass controversy.
231
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:37,018
Do you honestly think
we should become involved?
232
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,853
- No, I don't.
- Don't let him stampede you.
233
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:44,215
I have never been stampeded in my life.
234
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,813
So you think probably not.
235
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,370
I think absolutely and positively not.
236
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:52,896
Coffee will now be served
in three and a half minutes.
237
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:58,330
Mind you, that is just one local's opinion.
238
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,808
- Yes?
- Are you making a cabinet?
239
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,777
I'm making a placard.
240
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:20,772
I'm sure you can buy job lots of those.
241
00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:22,816
They've got "Down With" on them.
242
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,175
You just fill in what you want
underneath.
243
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,773
Oh, very funny.
244
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,693
Aren't you a bit old for this sort of thing?
245
00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:33,090
"He who is tired of London
is tired of life."
246
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,819
- What's that supposed to mean?
- I know what I mean!
247
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,857
There!
248
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:43,170
I should go back to Joan of Arc's banner.
249
00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:47,776
- You could help.
- I could also go for a walk. See you later.
250
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,496
Quisling!
251
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,217
- Oh, morning, Lol.
- Good morning.
252
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,131
I'm just having my half past nine's.
253
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,212
Mother's put up plenty if you'd like some.
254
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,939
- No, thanks, I've just had breakfast.
- Oh.
255
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:16,169
It seems that everybody is talking
about this proposed bypass.
256
00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:17,739
Oh, you wouldn't credit it.
257
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,890
There hasn't been so much excitement
258
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:22,619
since that business
with Mrs Tucker's leg.
259
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,089
- I hadn't heard about that.
- It was years ago.
260
00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:29,059
She got tipsy in the pub one Christmas
and lost her leg as she walked home.
261
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,290
How awful. A car accident?
262
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:33,894
No, no, no. It was a wooden leg.
263
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:36,335
She never would have
one of them modern ones.
264
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:38,217
She walked home
through the woods,
265
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,098
and that's where it got separated
from the rest of her.
266
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,455
Anyway, she never could find it.
267
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:46,771
I suppose, at night, one bit of wood's
very much like another.
268
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:48,816
Yeah, I suppose it is.
269
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,334
Did the poor woman
spend all night in the woods?
270
00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:54,253
No, my word, no.
271
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:56,535
She cut herself
a stick and hopped home.
272
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,771
Next morning, the whole village
turned out to hunt for it.
273
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:02,169
How very public-spirited. Was it found?
274
00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:04,251
Oh, yes, easier to spot in the daylight
275
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,774
because of the white ankle sock on it.
276
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:08,259
Ha-ha!
277
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,696
Heh... er... oooh.
Sorry, I digress. You were saying?
278
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,010
Yeah, what was I saying? Oh, yes.
279
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,375
This bypass,
280
00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:20,817
would you say that local feeling about it
is pretty unanimous?
281
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,130
I would. Highly.
282
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:26,451
I don't suppose we could co-opt you
onto our action committee?
283
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:29,691
- I'm not a committee sort of person.
- Fair enough.
284
00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:32,055
But these things
have been stopped before.
285
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,813
Stick together
and I'm sure you can get it banned.
286
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,494
Banned? We don't want it banned.
287
00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:39,696
- What?
- No, we want the bypass.
288
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:43,448
- I see.
- It's just a little village, isn't it?
289
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:46,691
We're sick and tired of those juggernauts
thundering through,
290
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,259
campers and caravans.
291
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:51,457
Give us a bypass, let them go round us
and leave us in peace.
292
00:15:51,540 --> 00:15:53,690
That's what we say.
293
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,529
That is the right word, isn't it?
Juggernauts?
294
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:59,497
Yeah, no, I'm not smiling at you, Lol.
295
00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:04,017
I was just thinking how easily people can
get hold of the wrong end of the stick.
296
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:07,729
Well, it shows a sporting spirit
to laugh at yourself.
297
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,697
Yes.
298
00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,453
Well, I think I'll go for my walk.
299
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,690
- Cheerio, Lol.
- Cheerio.
300
00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:18,819
- I'll be outside later doing the leaves.
- Fine.
301
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:22,176
I'll tell you if I find any wooden legs.
302
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,339
A nice lie-in?
303
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,650
Yes, thanks. What have you been doing?
304
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,492
Making placards.
305
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:31,536
- Don't laugh!
- Of course not.
306
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,576
How many placards did you make?
307
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,936
Only one so far,
but I've got the knack of it now.
308
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:41,496
- Where's Lionel?
- He's gone for a walk, ostensibly.
309
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,730
I'd say distancing himself.
310
00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:47,415
Excuse me. I have a note for you.
311
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:51,049
Me? Oh, thanks.
312
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:54,337
- A secret?
- No. It says,
313
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:59,130
"Dear Sandy, would you like to come
for a walk with me? Yours faithfully..."
314
00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:00,778
Then there are six signatures.
315
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:03,135
It's Lol's brothers again, isn't it?
316
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:05,575
I don't have to write six notes back, do I?
317
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:07,935
No, I can relay a verbal refusal.
318
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,329
No, go on. The fresh air will do you good.
319
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,978
They're waiting outside.
320
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:15,291
Oh, why not? They're nice enough lads.
321
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,575
Only, next time you see Harry,
322
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,174
don't tell him you went out
with six men in one day.
323
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:22,330
He might get the wrong idea.
324
00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,138
I shall be going out shortly.
325
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:28,532
- Would you like anything before I go?
- No, thanks, Mrs Bale.
326
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,252
I've put the hammer away.
327
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:33,854
Oh, thank you.
328
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:37,613
- Morning, chaps.
- Morning, Sandy.
329
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:41,056
- Well, shall we?
- Yes.
330
00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:48,968
You take good care of her, mind,
or Mother will have something to say!
331
00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:51,369
All right, then.
332
00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:29,427
Who is it?
333
00:18:29,516 --> 00:18:32,428
- It's me.
- Oh, hello, Lol.
334
00:18:32,516 --> 00:18:35,713
- Did you want to see me?
- Yes, miss, I did. I'm out here.
335
00:18:35,796 --> 00:18:37,468
Well, come in here.
336
00:18:37,556 --> 00:18:40,024
I don't usually come
this far into the house.
337
00:18:40,116 --> 00:18:43,233
Oh, well, be a devil.
Come on, sit down.
338
00:18:43,316 --> 00:18:45,671
- Oh. But I don't usually...
- Lol!
339
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,793
Well, there.
Now, what do you want to see me about?
340
00:18:52,876 --> 00:18:55,629
Er... l've come to impose myself.
341
00:18:57,316 --> 00:18:59,955
- Are you sure?
- Probably not.
342
00:19:00,036 --> 00:19:03,153
- It's about this bypass business.
- It's dreadful, isn't it?
343
00:19:03,236 --> 00:19:05,875
- It is. We've got a village to consider.
- Of course.
344
00:19:05,956 --> 00:19:09,312
That's it. We're villagers.
We're not skilled at making a fuss.
345
00:19:09,396 --> 00:19:12,274
But that lot who arrived today,
it's like an encampment.
346
00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:15,587
I suppose they're more experienced
at it than the locals.
347
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:19,555
That's true, whereas, and this is
what I mean by imposing myself,
348
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,230
- if you was to help...
- Oh, really?
349
00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:26,355
I'll be totally honest. I saw Mr Lionel this
morning and canvassed his support.
350
00:19:26,436 --> 00:19:30,554
- He preferred to keep out of it.
- He'd prefer me to keep out of it, too.
351
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,388
- That's that, then.
- No, it isn't.
352
00:19:32,476 --> 00:19:34,194
- But he's your husband.
- I know.
353
00:19:34,276 --> 00:19:37,074
But I think what I want to think
and I do what I want to do.
354
00:19:37,156 --> 00:19:39,624
- Wow! Well, well.
- So sit down again.
355
00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:43,425
- Now, how can I help?
- We formed this action committee.
356
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,189
Excellent. What has it done so far?
357
00:19:46,276 --> 00:19:49,188
- Er, nothing.
- Oh.
358
00:19:49,276 --> 00:19:52,074
We keep going off at tangents.
We start with the bypass,
359
00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:55,592
but in no time we're on about
the beet crop and the price of cattle feed.
360
00:19:55,676 --> 00:19:58,554
I see. That's going to have to stop.
361
00:19:58,636 --> 00:20:00,467
- Well! Oho-hee-hee! Hah!
- What?
362
00:20:00,556 --> 00:20:05,027
- You sounded just like my mother then.
- Oh, did I? Thank you.
363
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,630
- Planning, that's what we need.
- Exactly!
364
00:20:07,716 --> 00:20:09,752
A thoroughly thought-out plan of action.
365
00:20:09,836 --> 00:20:11,633
- That's it!
- And passion!
366
00:20:11,716 --> 00:20:14,674
- Pardon?
- Yes, passion!
367
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:18,351
A real driving belief in the knowledge
that what you're doing is right.
368
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:20,427
- Yes!
- Because it is right, Lol.
369
00:20:20,516 --> 00:20:24,191
These are people's lives
being trampled on. You can't do nothing.
370
00:20:24,276 --> 00:20:27,313
No! My word,
you've got me all worked up now.
371
00:20:27,396 --> 00:20:30,115
You talk to the action committee
this afternoon,
372
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,027
you'll get them all worked up as well.
373
00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:34,550
- Oh, talk to... Oh?
- But you must.
374
00:20:34,636 --> 00:20:37,389
I know you're a tender woman,
but you're intelligent.
375
00:20:37,476 --> 00:20:39,626
A woman with a way with words.
We need you!
376
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:44,073
- I suppose I could pop in.
- That's marvellous. I'll spread the word.
377
00:20:44,156 --> 00:20:46,465
I'd sooner you didn't spread it to Lionel.
378
00:20:46,556 --> 00:20:49,866
"I think what I think and I do what I do,"
that's what you said.
379
00:20:49,956 --> 00:20:51,514
Yes I know and I do, but...
380
00:20:51,596 --> 00:20:53,951
- It just might be...
- Yeah, right.
381
00:20:54,036 --> 00:20:55,833
- I'll be off, then.
- Yes, right.
382
00:20:55,916 --> 00:20:59,795
Don't forget your handkerchief.
- Oh, yeah... Hah! Ooh, heh.
383
00:20:59,876 --> 00:21:02,595
Know who you reminded me of
when you got me worked up?
384
00:21:02,676 --> 00:21:06,464
- Not your mother again?
- No, Winston Churchill.
385
00:21:13,236 --> 00:21:15,306
Hi, Li! How's Hampshire?
386
00:21:15,396 --> 00:21:18,194
I didn't cover all of it.
I just went for a walk.
387
00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:21,871
So did we. We thought we'd recce
part of this bypass route.
388
00:21:21,956 --> 00:21:25,266
It's not the prettiest part of England.
Just old scrubland.
389
00:21:25,356 --> 00:21:26,914
Really?
390
00:21:26,996 --> 00:21:30,591
I don't care.
I still think that Mum's right.
391
00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:32,029
Why is that funny?
392
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:34,471
- Oh, I'm just in a good mood.
- Hmm.
393
00:21:34,556 --> 00:21:36,786
- Do you want a sandwich?
- Yes, please.
394
00:21:36,876 --> 00:21:39,026
God bless Mrs Bale.
There are lagers here,
395
00:21:39,116 --> 00:21:41,550
labelled "Mr Lionel" and "Mr Alistair."
396
00:21:41,636 --> 00:21:43,911
What about Miss Judith?
397
00:21:43,996 --> 00:21:46,066
Hang on. Oh, you're all right.
398
00:21:46,156 --> 00:21:49,432
There's a bottle of wine labelled
"Miss Judith and Miss Sandy."
399
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:52,986
- Fair enough.
- Oh, Judy. Oh. There you are!
400
00:21:53,076 --> 00:21:55,351
I thought you said
you were going for a walk.
401
00:21:55,436 --> 00:21:58,234
I did. I didn't say anything
about an all-day trek.
402
00:21:58,316 --> 00:22:00,272
No. Well, I'm going out.
403
00:22:00,356 --> 00:22:03,632
I'm going to see a woman in the village
about aromatherapy.
404
00:22:03,716 --> 00:22:08,187
- Oh.
- Hot oils rubbed into the body. Hey, hey!
405
00:22:08,276 --> 00:22:10,631
Judy, will you see me off?
406
00:22:11,676 --> 00:22:13,712
Yeah, fine.
407
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:19,145
Why should she want
Judy to see her off?
408
00:22:19,236 --> 00:22:23,149
I've found it best not to wonder
about things like that.
409
00:22:23,236 --> 00:22:25,704
An action committee meeting?
That's terrific.
410
00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:27,548
- You'll be terrific.
- I hope so.
411
00:22:27,636 --> 00:22:29,433
Lol said I got him all worked up.
412
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:32,986
There you go. Lol's not the most
easily worked up man I've ever met.
413
00:22:33,076 --> 00:22:35,829
He also said I reminded him
of Winston Churchill.
414
00:22:35,916 --> 00:22:37,269
Is that flattering or not?
415
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,153
- I don't know.
- No.
416
00:22:39,236 --> 00:22:42,034
Lionel's bound to find out
about this sooner or later.
417
00:22:42,116 --> 00:22:45,108
If it's a disaster
I shall admit I made a fool of myself.
418
00:22:45,196 --> 00:22:46,549
And if it's a success?
419
00:22:46,636 --> 00:22:50,026
- I shall crow. Wish me luck.
- Good luck.
420
00:22:54,716 --> 00:22:57,025
What's this, a keep-fit class?
421
00:22:57,116 --> 00:22:59,266
Nice one.
422
00:22:59,356 --> 00:23:01,950
How are things with the Ferris boys?
423
00:23:02,036 --> 00:23:04,834
Well, we're pushing
the relationship along a bit.
424
00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:06,872
We held hands this morning.
425
00:23:06,956 --> 00:23:09,106
How do you hold hands with six guys?
426
00:23:09,196 --> 00:23:12,393
- They take it in turns.
- Awww!
427
00:23:12,476 --> 00:23:15,627
I'll tell you what I did find out
that's interesting.
428
00:23:15,716 --> 00:23:18,230
You and Jean
are on the wrong side of this protest.
429
00:23:18,316 --> 00:23:20,307
We're not. We're against the bypass.
430
00:23:20,396 --> 00:23:23,308
But the whole village is for it.
431
00:23:23,396 --> 00:23:24,829
What?
432
00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:27,350
Maybe we jumped
to the wrong conclusion.
433
00:23:27,436 --> 00:23:30,075
No, you hurtled headlong
to the wrong conclusion.
434
00:23:30,156 --> 00:23:32,192
Lol told me the same thing
this morning.
435
00:23:32,276 --> 00:23:35,871
No wonder you were looking
so pleased with yourself.
436
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:38,424
You could have told Mum before she...
437
00:23:39,476 --> 00:23:41,273
Before she what?
438
00:23:41,356 --> 00:23:44,632
She's gone to an action committee
meeting at the village hall,
439
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:48,948
but she doesn't know she wants to take
a different action from everyone else!
440
00:23:49,036 --> 00:23:51,834
Why don't people tell me these things?
441
00:23:51,916 --> 00:23:54,953
- Do you want me to come along, Li?
- No, thanks, Alistair.
442
00:23:55,036 --> 00:23:57,914
The fewer of us
who get lynched the better.
443
00:24:00,756 --> 00:24:02,508
You paid through
the nose for them heifers!
444
00:24:02,596 --> 00:24:05,554
You're jealous because
I snapped 'em up before you did.
445
00:24:05,636 --> 00:24:09,675
Snapped 'em up? They was so manky
they was practically giving 'em away!
446
00:24:09,756 --> 00:24:12,190
Hold on!
We're here to talk about the bypass.
447
00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:14,949
Five minutes and we're on about
the price of heifers!
448
00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:17,345
That's exactly why
I asked Mrs Hardcastle.
449
00:24:17,436 --> 00:24:19,711
To bring some sense to this meeting.
450
00:24:19,796 --> 00:24:22,026
- Mrs Hardcastle.
- Thank you.
451
00:24:24,076 --> 00:24:27,113
- Shall I sit or stand?
- Whichever takes your fancy.
452
00:24:27,196 --> 00:24:30,393
Oh, well, I think I'll sit. No, I'll stand.
453
00:24:30,476 --> 00:24:32,194
Erm... hello.
454
00:24:32,276 --> 00:24:35,427
Before I get onto the plan of action
I think we should take,
455
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:38,872
I want to sum up what I... what you...
456
00:24:38,956 --> 00:24:42,790
well, all of us think about this bypass.
457
00:24:42,876 --> 00:24:45,549
It's an act of sheer ecological vandalism
458
00:24:45,636 --> 00:24:48,104
which we want no part of!
459
00:24:52,076 --> 00:24:54,670
Which we want no part of.
460
00:24:54,756 --> 00:24:56,712
Who are they, these faceless planners
461
00:24:56,796 --> 00:25:00,471
who decide they can rip up yet another
bit of our beautiful countryside?
462
00:25:02,116 --> 00:25:06,792
What right have they
to think we must have a bypass?
463
00:25:06,876 --> 00:25:09,913
There's no "must" about it,
because they can be stopped!
464
00:25:09,996 --> 00:25:11,987
Do excuse me for interrupting,
465
00:25:12,076 --> 00:25:14,874
but I've got
a very important message for my wife.
466
00:25:14,956 --> 00:25:16,355
Excuse us.
467
00:25:16,436 --> 00:25:18,745
They haven't liked anything
I've said so far.
468
00:25:18,836 --> 00:25:21,475
Of course they haven't,
they all want a bypass!
469
00:25:21,556 --> 00:25:23,706
- What?
- Lol told me this morning.
470
00:25:23,796 --> 00:25:26,264
And you let me come here
and make a fool of myself?
471
00:25:26,356 --> 00:25:29,109
No, I said goodbye when
you went off for aromatherapy.
472
00:25:29,196 --> 00:25:30,834
Oh!
473
00:25:30,916 --> 00:25:33,271
I'd better explain
there's been a mix-up.
474
00:25:33,356 --> 00:25:36,632
And leave me to make a bigger
fool of myself? No, thank you!
475
00:25:36,716 --> 00:25:40,231
Erm... sorry about that.
Now, where was I?
476
00:25:40,316 --> 00:25:45,106
- Quite honestly not making much sense.
- No, well, of course I wasn't.
477
00:25:45,196 --> 00:25:47,107
And do you want to know why?
478
00:25:48,156 --> 00:25:50,716
Well, I'll tell you why.
479
00:25:50,796 --> 00:25:52,752
Because everything I've said so far
480
00:25:52,836 --> 00:25:56,795
is just what those stupid people
who oppose the bypass will say.
481
00:25:56,876 --> 00:25:59,868
- Aah.
- Their arguments make no sense at all!
482
00:25:59,956 --> 00:26:02,834
"An act of sheer ecological vandalism"
indeed!
483
00:26:02,916 --> 00:26:06,067
It's nothing more than building
a nice road through...
484
00:26:06,156 --> 00:26:08,112
- Through...
- A bit of old scrubland.
485
00:26:08,196 --> 00:26:10,107
A bit of old scrubland. Am I right?
486
00:26:10,196 --> 00:26:13,154
Exactly! There's more abandoned cars
than trees up there.
487
00:26:13,236 --> 00:26:15,909
Yes. And now let's
consider the planners.
488
00:26:15,996 --> 00:26:19,511
They're not "faceless",
as their detractors would claim.
489
00:26:19,596 --> 00:26:21,348
No, they're a lot of decent people
490
00:26:21,436 --> 00:26:26,112
who've understood that this village
needs a bypass because... because...
491
00:26:26,196 --> 00:26:27,629
- Juggernauts.
- What?
492
00:26:27,716 --> 00:26:29,547
- Juggernauts.
- Juggernauts!
493
00:26:29,636 --> 00:26:33,390
- Exactly, campers and caravans.
- Roaring through the village all day.
494
00:26:33,476 --> 00:26:36,468
Making the crockery on our dresser
rattle something awful.
495
00:26:36,556 --> 00:26:39,832
And as for those young people
who think they've come to help,
496
00:26:39,916 --> 00:26:44,467
they're well-intentioned, but they haven't
bothered to find out how the locals feel.
497
00:26:44,556 --> 00:26:45,545
That's right.
498
00:26:45,636 --> 00:26:50,505
- And they ruin policemen's weekends.
- And they ruin policemen's weekends!
499
00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:58,074
So we've got to stop bickering
500
00:26:58,156 --> 00:27:00,226
and um... get ourselves organised,
501
00:27:00,316 --> 00:27:03,706
and show those people
in the encampment just how we feel.
502
00:27:03,796 --> 00:27:06,310
- Without violence.
- Without violence.
503
00:27:06,396 --> 00:27:08,751
We'll distribute leaflets, get up a petition
504
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:11,714
and show how much
we want and need this bypass!
505
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:13,275
Yeah!
506
00:27:15,676 --> 00:27:19,225
Er... may I just add one thing?
507
00:27:19,316 --> 00:27:21,830
Erm... in the excitement,
I think my wife left out
508
00:27:21,916 --> 00:27:24,476
something else that she wanted to say.
509
00:27:24,556 --> 00:27:27,389
We're very fond of this village
and the people in it,
510
00:27:27,476 --> 00:27:29,546
but we're not locals.
511
00:27:29,636 --> 00:27:31,467
Now, you have our support
512
00:27:31,556 --> 00:27:33,945
and when we're here
we'll give any help we can.
513
00:27:34,036 --> 00:27:38,666
But Jean knows, realistically,
that that's all we can and should do.
514
00:27:38,756 --> 00:27:41,828
It's your village
and your fight, so fight it!
515
00:27:42,676 --> 00:27:45,429
I think that's what you wanted to say,
wasn't it?
516
00:27:45,516 --> 00:27:49,350
- On the whole, yes.
- Mrs Hardcastle's right.
517
00:27:49,436 --> 00:27:53,224
It is our fight and we shouldn't be
looking to others to fight it for us.
518
00:27:53,316 --> 00:27:56,513
- Best of luck with it.
- We'll see you all in the pub tonight.
519
00:27:56,596 --> 00:27:59,235
Thank you very much for coming.
520
00:27:59,316 --> 00:28:02,149
Come on, do as the lady said.
Let's get organised.
521
00:28:02,236 --> 00:28:04,511
What I should do first is I should...
522
00:28:04,596 --> 00:28:08,032
Paper, that's the first thing.
We need paper. Who's got some paper?
523
00:28:08,116 --> 00:28:10,630
Somebody must have some paper!
524
00:28:10,716 --> 00:28:14,152
Have you got a pencil, then?
A pencil with a rubber on it!
525
00:28:14,236 --> 00:28:17,546
- Haven't you got a pencil?
- I can't afford a pencil!
526
00:28:21,876 --> 00:28:24,834
# You must remember this
527
00:28:24,916 --> 00:28:27,225
# A kiss is still a kiss
528
00:28:27,316 --> 00:28:30,467
# A sigh is just a sigh
529
00:28:32,636 --> 00:28:36,265
# The fundamental things apply
530
00:28:36,356 --> 00:28:40,065
# As time goes by
531
00:28:43,436 --> 00:28:46,155
# And when two lovers woo
532
00:28:46,236 --> 00:28:48,875
# They still say I love you
533
00:28:48,956 --> 00:28:51,754
# On that you can rely
534
00:28:54,756 --> 00:29:00,149
# The world will always welcome lovers
535
00:29:00,236 --> 00:29:08,268
# As time goes by #
44053
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