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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:13,213 # You must remember this 2 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,814 # A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,733 # A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:25,015 # The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:29,059 # As time goes by # 6 00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:37,136 All ashore that's going ashore! 7 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:42,898 - You sure you won't come on with us? - No, thanks, Lionel's tired. 8 00:00:42,980 --> 00:00:46,859 - I didn't say anything about being tired. - Well, I'm tired, so you must be. 9 00:00:46,940 --> 00:00:50,615 Oh, I see. Thanks for a delicious meal, Alistair. 10 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,612 Absolutely de nada, Li. 11 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:55,816 You're coming to the country tomorrow? 12 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,698 Yeah, it will be nice to get out of London for a bit. 13 00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,498 Are Sandy and Har coming? 14 00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:03,492 - Harry. - Sorry. Harry. 15 00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:07,175 - No, they can't make it, I'm afraid. - Oh, shame. 16 00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:09,296 Catch you guys tomorrow, then. 17 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:13,889 Good night, Alistair. See you later, Judy. 18 00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:17,893 - Or not. - Good night, Mum. Good night, Lionel. 19 00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:20,335 - Enjoy yourselves. - Wagons roll! 20 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,736 Where are they going on to? 21 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,892 Knowing Alistair, it's probably Istanbul. 22 00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,777 We never used to go on anywhere. 23 00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,010 We didn't have any money to go on anywhere. 24 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:38,059 That's true. I should have stuck to the millionaire. 25 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:41,416 - Which millionaire? - I forget his name now. 26 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,334 Getty. Something like that. 27 00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:52,575 - We did go on once. - Oh, did we? Where? 28 00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:56,050 Lyon's Corner House in the Strand. It was your birthday. 29 00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:58,096 So it was. There was an organ. 30 00:01:58,180 --> 00:02:00,057 Yes, there was. 31 00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,654 And we danced till the small hours of the morning. 32 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:05,652 A quarter to 11. I had to be back in barracks by midnight. 33 00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:08,652 "The small hours of the morning" has a nicer ring to it. 34 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:11,538 It's a shame Sandy can't come down to the country. 35 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,088 I don't know if she can or not. I'm not asking her. 36 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:16,410 - Why, what's she done? - Nothing. 37 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:19,219 - I just thought she'd like to stay here. - On her own? 38 00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,734 Harry's not on duty this weekend. 39 00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:24,288 Oh, I see. Have they got to that stage, then? 40 00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:27,770 - I don't know. - You're not forcing the pace, are you? 41 00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:30,579 You've got your Victorian face on again. 42 00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:34,130 Poor boy! He lives in a section house. It's full of policemen. 43 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:38,179 I lived in a barracks full of soldiers. You lived in a nurses' home full of nurses. 44 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,775 Don't make it sound so virtuous. It's the way things were then. 45 00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:45,455 But what would you have done if we'd been offered a house for the weekend? 46 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,496 Panicked, probably. 47 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,855 Is that you, Sandy? 48 00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:55,092 - As ever was. Nice meal? - Lovely. And you? 49 00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:58,889 A pub one. Quite enjoyable, apart from the row. 50 00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:01,335 By sheer coincidence, Harry chose a pub 51 00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:04,935 that was showing live coverage of some European football match. 52 00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:07,454 - I forgot that was on. Who won? - I don't know. 53 00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:11,533 We're going down to the country for the weekend. Is Harry off duty? 54 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:14,339 Yes, he is, as a matter of fact, but... 55 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,775 I did tell you, Alistair gets on his nerves. 56 00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:19,215 and if they're there for a whole weekend... 57 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,768 - I wasn't suggesting you should come. - Oh! 58 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,018 Oh. 59 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:28,775 - What Jean means... - Sandy knows what I mean. 60 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,689 We're not forcing the pace or anything. 61 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,850 No, of course not. 62 00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:37,932 Well, I think I might turn in. Good night. 63 00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,851 - Good night. - Good night. 64 00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:45,697 - You sure you didn't notice the score? - It was either 2-2 or 4-2. 65 00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:49,571 Either 2-2 or 4-2! 66 00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,458 There's not much difference, is there? 67 00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:57,413 No, it's all right, Harry, it's not your fault. 68 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,890 Maybe some other time. Talk to you next week. 69 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,732 Bye. 70 00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:07,414 - I'm fed up with demonstrators! - Demonstrators? Why? 71 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,537 Because they disrupt other people's lives, that's why. 72 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:13,976 There's some big demonstration in Hyde Park. So what happens? 73 00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:17,416 Off-duty policemen are suddenly on-duty policemen. 74 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,331 Oh, what a shame. 75 00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:22,218 You might as well come down to the country with us, then. 76 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,018 I don't want to play gooseberry. 77 00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,809 You won't be. Besides, Lol's six brothers might ask you out again. 78 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,573 In that case, I should take five girlfriends with me. 79 00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:33,777 Will you stop following me around? It's just a cardboard box. 80 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:37,250 - I know. I want to know what's in it! - Just things! 81 00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:40,013 Every time we go down to the country you take boxes. 82 00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:44,173 We have a car. I'm not asking you to walk all the way down. 83 00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:45,818 - For goodness' sake! - Aaah! 84 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,652 Aaah! 85 00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:50,095 Is this some kind of grown-ups' game? 86 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:52,296 - It's her and her boxes! - Her? 87 00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:56,134 It's Jean Hardcastle and her boxes, then. Come on, what's in that one? 88 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,017 If you must know, candles. 89 00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:00,694 - Candles? - Why candles? 90 00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:03,010 Power cuts are not unknown in the country. 91 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,658 What would happen if we had one? 92 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,254 You'd turn to me and say, "Do we have any candles?" 93 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,535 No. We'd just wait for Mrs Bale to come in 94 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,975 with the candles she keeps for emergencies. 95 00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:14,494 It doesn't do any harm. There's room in the car. 96 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,172 There won't be at this rate. 97 00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:18,376 - How many have you got in there? - Enough. 98 00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:21,452 I've left enough for Sandy in case there's a power cut here. 99 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:25,249 I'm coming with you now, if that's all right. Harry's on duty. 100 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:28,776 - You said he wasn't. - There's a demonstration in Hyde Park. 101 00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:30,612 - Damn people. - That's not fair. 102 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,578 You don't even know what they're demonstrating about. 103 00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:37,539 I don't need to know. It's just an excuse to make noise, cause traffic jams, 104 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,612 leave a lot of litter and spoil other people's weekends. 105 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,133 Like mine and Harry's, 106 00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:45,690 and the families of all the other policemen who have to do extra duty. 107 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,930 Well, yeah, I see that. 108 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,580 Don't get browbeaten so easily. 109 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,457 Think of the Jarrow marchers. 110 00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:55,373 The Jarrow marchers? That was years ago. 111 00:05:55,460 --> 00:05:59,453 I know, but those men had a just cause. They marched for the right to work. 112 00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:01,098 - What sort of work? - Mining. 113 00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:04,968 Shipbuilding. And the difference was, they marched in an orderly fashion 114 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,130 with only a few policemen to escort them. 115 00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:10,132 Not this rent-a-mob who demonstrate as a way of life! 116 00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:13,690 Look, don't let's argue about it. I'm sorry I ever mentioned it now. 117 00:06:13,780 --> 00:06:15,657 Let's just have a nice weekend. 118 00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:17,537 - Mining! - Lionel! 119 00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:21,374 - I'm going to fill another box. - What's in this one, spare bedding? 120 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,613 - Hello, Mrs Bale. - Good afternoon. 121 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,010 You're 15 minutes behind your estimated time of arrival. 122 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,330 You sound like an airport announcement. 123 00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:45,617 I wouldn't know. I've never been to an airport. 124 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,258 Let me help with the luggage. 125 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,217 No, really, Mrs Bale, we can manage. 126 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,291 Why don't you make us a nice cup of tea? 127 00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:55,817 Tea will be served in exactly 17 and a half minutes. 128 00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,690 Contraband. 129 00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:08,250 It's just a few personal effects, Mrs Bale, honestly. 130 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:11,013 - No eggs? - No eggs, I promise. 131 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,170 - Hmm. - We can manage. 132 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:16,093 There are too many people in the village who say that. 133 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:19,570 But come a situation, and it's sheer anarchy. 134 00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:26,259 Really, Mrs Bale, don't hold them like that, because the bottom's a bit... 135 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,618 Personal effects, you said? 136 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:41,889 Let's hope she doesn't find the distress flares. 137 00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,690 On the dot, Mrs Bale. 138 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:53,058 I was born punctually and saw no reason to be anything else for the rest of my life. 139 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,608 Will the young people be coming for the weekend? 140 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,612 Alistair's bringing the girls down after work. 141 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:01,851 - They won't be bringing any boxes. - I'm pleased to hear it. 142 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,569 Did I understand you to say there was a situation in the village? 143 00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,412 - Yes, there is. - What is it? 144 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,253 - A situation. - What sort of situation? 145 00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:11,978 It's a local matter. 146 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,937 Well, there you are, then. 147 00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:15,897 No, it's not. We're locals. 148 00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:18,255 With respect, Mrs Hardcastle, 149 00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:21,013 - you are strictly part-timers. - exactly. 150 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,898 I'm sorry, but Lionel and I insist that you tell us. 151 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:26,536 Very well. 152 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:30,090 There are plans for a bypass for the village. 153 00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:32,569 Are there? Are there? 154 00:08:32,660 --> 00:08:35,094 - An excellent cup of tea, Mrs Bale. - Thank you. 155 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,772 You mentioned anarchy. 156 00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:39,328 Perhaps a slight exaggeration. 157 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,014 Shall we say... confusion. 158 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,854 Almost everyone in the village feels the need to have their voice heard... 159 00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,134 Of course they do. 160 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:50,292 But organisation is not the village's strong point. 161 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:54,896 They didn't finish the war memorial until 1961. 162 00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:59,258 So any hope of an organised protest is, at the very best, remote. 163 00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:03,128 - I see... Mrs Bale... - Would you excuse us, Mrs Bale? 164 00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:08,135 Yes, of course. It's almost time for the shipping forecast, anyway. 165 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,892 The last I heard, 166 00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:13,529 the wind was doing some very peculiar things in the Irish Sea. 167 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,497 Just stop it, all right? 168 00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:18,333 - Stop what? - You know very well what. 169 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:21,332 Your eyes lit up as soon as you heard the word "protest". 170 00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:24,571 - Aren't you at all interested? - It's not our business. 171 00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:28,653 I don't want you charging around waving a placard like a latter-day Joan of Arc! 172 00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:31,129 She didn't have a placard. She had a banner. 173 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:34,018 Actually, a placard's better. 174 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:37,092 It doesn't wave about in the wind so much. 175 00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:41,697 - Hello, Mrs Bale. - Hello, Mrs Bale. 176 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,771 Good evening, Miss Judith, Miss Sandy. 177 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:46,328 You haven't brought any excess baggage, I hope? 178 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,490 Only Alistair. 179 00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:52,095 May I say, Mrs Bale, you look younger every time I see you? 180 00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:55,729 You may say it, but don't expect me to believe it. 181 00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:59,369 Your rooms are ready. Dinner will be at 8:07. 182 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,576 How many rooms? 183 00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:05,730 - There are three of you. - Ah. 184 00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:09,859 - "Ah," what? - Well, the thing is, Mrs Bale... 185 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:14,496 Think of a tall balloonist with piercing blue eyes. 186 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:17,731 I didn't say three rooms had to be occupied. 187 00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,811 I shall be in the kitchen. 188 00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:24,135 A tall balloonist with piercing blue eyes? 189 00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:26,495 She was young once too, you know. 190 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:35,258 I agree with mum. I think a bypass is a disgrace. Think of the wildlife. 191 00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:37,729 We're in Hampshire, not Africa. 192 00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:40,129 There are little rabbits and things. 193 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,939 It's bound to go through an area of natural beauty. 194 00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:45,170 - You've seen the plans? - They always do. 195 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:47,376 The demonstrators will be arriving soon. 196 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,894 I know you've got a thing about demonstrators, 197 00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,494 - but something has to be done. - By somebody else. 198 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:54,696 - That's how wars start! - Oh! 199 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,977 - You know what strikes me? - What's that? 200 00:10:58,060 --> 00:11:01,655 Speaking eco-wise, things should be... 201 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,698 like that, right? 202 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,533 But if this happens... 203 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,736 can it ever be put back? 204 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:15,768 - I don't know what he's saying. - That's a very good point, Alistair. 205 00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:18,499 - They'll chain themselves to trees. - Who will? 206 00:11:18,580 --> 00:11:20,935 Not the villagers, the professionals. 207 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,454 They'll build tree houses, dig tunnels. 208 00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,134 And who gets stuck with the job of moving them on 209 00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:27,778 and coming out as the villains? 210 00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:30,135 An under-manned police force! 211 00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:32,814 Anyone would think you were seeing a policeman. 212 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,539 I'm not seeing a policeman and I think she's right. 213 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:37,451 I still say it's not our business. 214 00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:40,532 It's everybody's business. Remember what Alistair said. 215 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:43,088 I didn't understand a word of that. 216 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,172 - OK... - Oh, not again! 217 00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:48,899 Alistair, there is absolutely no point. 218 00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:51,335 Lionel is in a hermit crab mode. 219 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:55,971 However, Mum and I know that you are with us on this one. 220 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:02,252 Sorry, Li. It can't always be an all guy thing. 221 00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,819 So we have a clear majority. 222 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,698 This is a discussion, not a vote in the House of Commons. 223 00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:10,853 - Just discussion won't get us anywhere. - Good, as we're not going anywhere. 224 00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:14,729 Oh, all right, have it your way. 225 00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,095 Chain yourselves to trees, live up trees, 226 00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,774 dig tunnels, only think on this. 227 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:23,853 Would you really get involved if local opinion wanted you to stay out of it? 228 00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:27,694 - Well, no, but I don't see... - I was right about the Irish Sea. 229 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,374 And I shall be serving coffee in four minutes. 230 00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:33,975 Mrs Bale, this bypass controversy. 231 00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:37,018 Do you honestly think we should become involved? 232 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,853 - No, I don't. - Don't let him stampede you. 233 00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:44,215 I have never been stampeded in my life. 234 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,813 So you think probably not. 235 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,370 I think absolutely and positively not. 236 00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:52,896 Coffee will now be served in three and a half minutes. 237 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:58,330 Mind you, that is just one local's opinion. 238 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,808 - Yes? - Are you making a cabinet? 239 00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,777 I'm making a placard. 240 00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:20,772 I'm sure you can buy job lots of those. 241 00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:22,816 They've got "Down With" on them. 242 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,175 You just fill in what you want underneath. 243 00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,773 Oh, very funny. 244 00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,693 Aren't you a bit old for this sort of thing? 245 00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:33,090 "He who is tired of London is tired of life." 246 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,819 - What's that supposed to mean? - I know what I mean! 247 00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,857 There! 248 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:43,170 I should go back to Joan of Arc's banner. 249 00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:47,776 - You could help. - I could also go for a walk. See you later. 250 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,496 Quisling! 251 00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,217 - Oh, morning, Lol. - Good morning. 252 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,131 I'm just having my half past nine's. 253 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,212 Mother's put up plenty if you'd like some. 254 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,939 - No, thanks, I've just had breakfast. - Oh. 255 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:16,169 It seems that everybody is talking about this proposed bypass. 256 00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:17,739 Oh, you wouldn't credit it. 257 00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,890 There hasn't been so much excitement 258 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:22,619 since that business with Mrs Tucker's leg. 259 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,089 - I hadn't heard about that. - It was years ago. 260 00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:29,059 She got tipsy in the pub one Christmas and lost her leg as she walked home. 261 00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,290 How awful. A car accident? 262 00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:33,894 No, no, no. It was a wooden leg. 263 00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:36,335 She never would have one of them modern ones. 264 00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:38,217 She walked home through the woods, 265 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,098 and that's where it got separated from the rest of her. 266 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,455 Anyway, she never could find it. 267 00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:46,771 I suppose, at night, one bit of wood's very much like another. 268 00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:48,816 Yeah, I suppose it is. 269 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,334 Did the poor woman spend all night in the woods? 270 00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:54,253 No, my word, no. 271 00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:56,535 She cut herself a stick and hopped home. 272 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,771 Next morning, the whole village turned out to hunt for it. 273 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:02,169 How very public-spirited. Was it found? 274 00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:04,251 Oh, yes, easier to spot in the daylight 275 00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,774 because of the white ankle sock on it. 276 00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:08,259 Ha-ha! 277 00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,696 Heh... er... oooh. Sorry, I digress. You were saying? 278 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,010 Yeah, what was I saying? Oh, yes. 279 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,375 This bypass, 280 00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:20,817 would you say that local feeling about it is pretty unanimous? 281 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,130 I would. Highly. 282 00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:26,451 I don't suppose we could co-opt you onto our action committee? 283 00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:29,691 - I'm not a committee sort of person. - Fair enough. 284 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:32,055 But these things have been stopped before. 285 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,813 Stick together and I'm sure you can get it banned. 286 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,494 Banned? We don't want it banned. 287 00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:39,696 - What? - No, we want the bypass. 288 00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:43,448 - I see. - It's just a little village, isn't it? 289 00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:46,691 We're sick and tired of those juggernauts thundering through, 290 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,259 campers and caravans. 291 00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:51,457 Give us a bypass, let them go round us and leave us in peace. 292 00:15:51,540 --> 00:15:53,690 That's what we say. 293 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,529 That is the right word, isn't it? Juggernauts? 294 00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:59,497 Yeah, no, I'm not smiling at you, Lol. 295 00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:04,017 I was just thinking how easily people can get hold of the wrong end of the stick. 296 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:07,729 Well, it shows a sporting spirit to laugh at yourself. 297 00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,697 Yes. 298 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,453 Well, I think I'll go for my walk. 299 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,690 - Cheerio, Lol. - Cheerio. 300 00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:18,819 - I'll be outside later doing the leaves. - Fine. 301 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:22,176 I'll tell you if I find any wooden legs. 302 00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,339 A nice lie-in? 303 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,650 Yes, thanks. What have you been doing? 304 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,492 Making placards. 305 00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:31,536 - Don't laugh! - Of course not. 306 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:33,576 How many placards did you make? 307 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,936 Only one so far, but I've got the knack of it now. 308 00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:41,496 - Where's Lionel? - He's gone for a walk, ostensibly. 309 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,730 I'd say distancing himself. 310 00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:47,415 Excuse me. I have a note for you. 311 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:51,049 Me? Oh, thanks. 312 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:54,337 - A secret? - No. It says, 313 00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:59,130 "Dear Sandy, would you like to come for a walk with me? Yours faithfully..." 314 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:00,778 Then there are six signatures. 315 00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:03,135 It's Lol's brothers again, isn't it? 316 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:05,575 I don't have to write six notes back, do I? 317 00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:07,935 No, I can relay a verbal refusal. 318 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,329 No, go on. The fresh air will do you good. 319 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,978 They're waiting outside. 320 00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:15,291 Oh, why not? They're nice enough lads. 321 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,575 Only, next time you see Harry, 322 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,174 don't tell him you went out with six men in one day. 323 00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:22,330 He might get the wrong idea. 324 00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,138 I shall be going out shortly. 325 00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:28,532 - Would you like anything before I go? - No, thanks, Mrs Bale. 326 00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,252 I've put the hammer away. 327 00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:33,854 Oh, thank you. 328 00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:37,613 - Morning, chaps. - Morning, Sandy. 329 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:41,056 - Well, shall we? - Yes. 330 00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:48,968 You take good care of her, mind, or Mother will have something to say! 331 00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:51,369 All right, then. 332 00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:29,427 Who is it? 333 00:18:29,516 --> 00:18:32,428 - It's me. - Oh, hello, Lol. 334 00:18:32,516 --> 00:18:35,713 - Did you want to see me? - Yes, miss, I did. I'm out here. 335 00:18:35,796 --> 00:18:37,468 Well, come in here. 336 00:18:37,556 --> 00:18:40,024 I don't usually come this far into the house. 337 00:18:40,116 --> 00:18:43,233 Oh, well, be a devil. Come on, sit down. 338 00:18:43,316 --> 00:18:45,671 - Oh. But I don't usually... - Lol! 339 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,793 Well, there. Now, what do you want to see me about? 340 00:18:52,876 --> 00:18:55,629 Er... l've come to impose myself. 341 00:18:57,316 --> 00:18:59,955 - Are you sure? - Probably not. 342 00:19:00,036 --> 00:19:03,153 - It's about this bypass business. - It's dreadful, isn't it? 343 00:19:03,236 --> 00:19:05,875 - It is. We've got a village to consider. - Of course. 344 00:19:05,956 --> 00:19:09,312 That's it. We're villagers. We're not skilled at making a fuss. 345 00:19:09,396 --> 00:19:12,274 But that lot who arrived today, it's like an encampment. 346 00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:15,587 I suppose they're more experienced at it than the locals. 347 00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:19,555 That's true, whereas, and this is what I mean by imposing myself, 348 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,230 - if you was to help... - Oh, really? 349 00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:26,355 I'll be totally honest. I saw Mr Lionel this morning and canvassed his support. 350 00:19:26,436 --> 00:19:30,554 - He preferred to keep out of it. - He'd prefer me to keep out of it, too. 351 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,388 - That's that, then. - No, it isn't. 352 00:19:32,476 --> 00:19:34,194 - But he's your husband. - I know. 353 00:19:34,276 --> 00:19:37,074 But I think what I want to think and I do what I want to do. 354 00:19:37,156 --> 00:19:39,624 - Wow! Well, well. - So sit down again. 355 00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:43,425 - Now, how can I help? - We formed this action committee. 356 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,189 Excellent. What has it done so far? 357 00:19:46,276 --> 00:19:49,188 - Er, nothing. - Oh. 358 00:19:49,276 --> 00:19:52,074 We keep going off at tangents. We start with the bypass, 359 00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:55,592 but in no time we're on about the beet crop and the price of cattle feed. 360 00:19:55,676 --> 00:19:58,554 I see. That's going to have to stop. 361 00:19:58,636 --> 00:20:00,467 - Well! Oho-hee-hee! Hah! - What? 362 00:20:00,556 --> 00:20:05,027 - You sounded just like my mother then. - Oh, did I? Thank you. 363 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,630 - Planning, that's what we need. - Exactly! 364 00:20:07,716 --> 00:20:09,752 A thoroughly thought-out plan of action. 365 00:20:09,836 --> 00:20:11,633 - That's it! - And passion! 366 00:20:11,716 --> 00:20:14,674 - Pardon? - Yes, passion! 367 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:18,351 A real driving belief in the knowledge that what you're doing is right. 368 00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:20,427 - Yes! - Because it is right, Lol. 369 00:20:20,516 --> 00:20:24,191 These are people's lives being trampled on. You can't do nothing. 370 00:20:24,276 --> 00:20:27,313 No! My word, you've got me all worked up now. 371 00:20:27,396 --> 00:20:30,115 You talk to the action committee this afternoon, 372 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,027 you'll get them all worked up as well. 373 00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:34,550 - Oh, talk to... Oh? - But you must. 374 00:20:34,636 --> 00:20:37,389 I know you're a tender woman, but you're intelligent. 375 00:20:37,476 --> 00:20:39,626 A woman with a way with words. We need you! 376 00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:44,073 - I suppose I could pop in. - That's marvellous. I'll spread the word. 377 00:20:44,156 --> 00:20:46,465 I'd sooner you didn't spread it to Lionel. 378 00:20:46,556 --> 00:20:49,866 "I think what I think and I do what I do," that's what you said. 379 00:20:49,956 --> 00:20:51,514 Yes I know and I do, but... 380 00:20:51,596 --> 00:20:53,951 - It just might be... - Yeah, right. 381 00:20:54,036 --> 00:20:55,833 - I'll be off, then. - Yes, right. 382 00:20:55,916 --> 00:20:59,795 Don't forget your handkerchief. - Oh, yeah... Hah! Ooh, heh. 383 00:20:59,876 --> 00:21:02,595 Know who you reminded me of when you got me worked up? 384 00:21:02,676 --> 00:21:06,464 - Not your mother again? - No, Winston Churchill. 385 00:21:13,236 --> 00:21:15,306 Hi, Li! How's Hampshire? 386 00:21:15,396 --> 00:21:18,194 I didn't cover all of it. I just went for a walk. 387 00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:21,871 So did we. We thought we'd recce part of this bypass route. 388 00:21:21,956 --> 00:21:25,266 It's not the prettiest part of England. Just old scrubland. 389 00:21:25,356 --> 00:21:26,914 Really? 390 00:21:26,996 --> 00:21:30,591 I don't care. I still think that Mum's right. 391 00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:32,029 Why is that funny? 392 00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:34,471 - Oh, I'm just in a good mood. - Hmm. 393 00:21:34,556 --> 00:21:36,786 - Do you want a sandwich? - Yes, please. 394 00:21:36,876 --> 00:21:39,026 God bless Mrs Bale. There are lagers here, 395 00:21:39,116 --> 00:21:41,550 labelled "Mr Lionel" and "Mr Alistair." 396 00:21:41,636 --> 00:21:43,911 What about Miss Judith? 397 00:21:43,996 --> 00:21:46,066 Hang on. Oh, you're all right. 398 00:21:46,156 --> 00:21:49,432 There's a bottle of wine labelled "Miss Judith and Miss Sandy." 399 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:52,986 - Fair enough. - Oh, Judy. Oh. There you are! 400 00:21:53,076 --> 00:21:55,351 I thought you said you were going for a walk. 401 00:21:55,436 --> 00:21:58,234 I did. I didn't say anything about an all-day trek. 402 00:21:58,316 --> 00:22:00,272 No. Well, I'm going out. 403 00:22:00,356 --> 00:22:03,632 I'm going to see a woman in the village about aromatherapy. 404 00:22:03,716 --> 00:22:08,187 - Oh. - Hot oils rubbed into the body. Hey, hey! 405 00:22:08,276 --> 00:22:10,631 Judy, will you see me off? 406 00:22:11,676 --> 00:22:13,712 Yeah, fine. 407 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:19,145 Why should she want Judy to see her off? 408 00:22:19,236 --> 00:22:23,149 I've found it best not to wonder about things like that. 409 00:22:23,236 --> 00:22:25,704 An action committee meeting? That's terrific. 410 00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:27,548 - You'll be terrific. - I hope so. 411 00:22:27,636 --> 00:22:29,433 Lol said I got him all worked up. 412 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:32,986 There you go. Lol's not the most easily worked up man I've ever met. 413 00:22:33,076 --> 00:22:35,829 He also said I reminded him of Winston Churchill. 414 00:22:35,916 --> 00:22:37,269 Is that flattering or not? 415 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,153 - I don't know. - No. 416 00:22:39,236 --> 00:22:42,034 Lionel's bound to find out about this sooner or later. 417 00:22:42,116 --> 00:22:45,108 If it's a disaster I shall admit I made a fool of myself. 418 00:22:45,196 --> 00:22:46,549 And if it's a success? 419 00:22:46,636 --> 00:22:50,026 - I shall crow. Wish me luck. - Good luck. 420 00:22:54,716 --> 00:22:57,025 What's this, a keep-fit class? 421 00:22:57,116 --> 00:22:59,266 Nice one. 422 00:22:59,356 --> 00:23:01,950 How are things with the Ferris boys? 423 00:23:02,036 --> 00:23:04,834 Well, we're pushing the relationship along a bit. 424 00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:06,872 We held hands this morning. 425 00:23:06,956 --> 00:23:09,106 How do you hold hands with six guys? 426 00:23:09,196 --> 00:23:12,393 - They take it in turns. - Awww! 427 00:23:12,476 --> 00:23:15,627 I'll tell you what I did find out that's interesting. 428 00:23:15,716 --> 00:23:18,230 You and Jean are on the wrong side of this protest. 429 00:23:18,316 --> 00:23:20,307 We're not. We're against the bypass. 430 00:23:20,396 --> 00:23:23,308 But the whole village is for it. 431 00:23:23,396 --> 00:23:24,829 What? 432 00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:27,350 Maybe we jumped to the wrong conclusion. 433 00:23:27,436 --> 00:23:30,075 No, you hurtled headlong to the wrong conclusion. 434 00:23:30,156 --> 00:23:32,192 Lol told me the same thing this morning. 435 00:23:32,276 --> 00:23:35,871 No wonder you were looking so pleased with yourself. 436 00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:38,424 You could have told Mum before she... 437 00:23:39,476 --> 00:23:41,273 Before she what? 438 00:23:41,356 --> 00:23:44,632 She's gone to an action committee meeting at the village hall, 439 00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:48,948 but she doesn't know she wants to take a different action from everyone else! 440 00:23:49,036 --> 00:23:51,834 Why don't people tell me these things? 441 00:23:51,916 --> 00:23:54,953 - Do you want me to come along, Li? - No, thanks, Alistair. 442 00:23:55,036 --> 00:23:57,914 The fewer of us who get lynched the better. 443 00:24:00,756 --> 00:24:02,508 You paid through the nose for them heifers! 444 00:24:02,596 --> 00:24:05,554 You're jealous because I snapped 'em up before you did. 445 00:24:05,636 --> 00:24:09,675 Snapped 'em up? They was so manky they was practically giving 'em away! 446 00:24:09,756 --> 00:24:12,190 Hold on! We're here to talk about the bypass. 447 00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:14,949 Five minutes and we're on about the price of heifers! 448 00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:17,345 That's exactly why I asked Mrs Hardcastle. 449 00:24:17,436 --> 00:24:19,711 To bring some sense to this meeting. 450 00:24:19,796 --> 00:24:22,026 - Mrs Hardcastle. - Thank you. 451 00:24:24,076 --> 00:24:27,113 - Shall I sit or stand? - Whichever takes your fancy. 452 00:24:27,196 --> 00:24:30,393 Oh, well, I think I'll sit. No, I'll stand. 453 00:24:30,476 --> 00:24:32,194 Erm... hello. 454 00:24:32,276 --> 00:24:35,427 Before I get onto the plan of action I think we should take, 455 00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:38,872 I want to sum up what I... what you... 456 00:24:38,956 --> 00:24:42,790 well, all of us think about this bypass. 457 00:24:42,876 --> 00:24:45,549 It's an act of sheer ecological vandalism 458 00:24:45,636 --> 00:24:48,104 which we want no part of! 459 00:24:52,076 --> 00:24:54,670 Which we want no part of. 460 00:24:54,756 --> 00:24:56,712 Who are they, these faceless planners 461 00:24:56,796 --> 00:25:00,471 who decide they can rip up yet another bit of our beautiful countryside? 462 00:25:02,116 --> 00:25:06,792 What right have they to think we must have a bypass? 463 00:25:06,876 --> 00:25:09,913 There's no "must" about it, because they can be stopped! 464 00:25:09,996 --> 00:25:11,987 Do excuse me for interrupting, 465 00:25:12,076 --> 00:25:14,874 but I've got a very important message for my wife. 466 00:25:14,956 --> 00:25:16,355 Excuse us. 467 00:25:16,436 --> 00:25:18,745 They haven't liked anything I've said so far. 468 00:25:18,836 --> 00:25:21,475 Of course they haven't, they all want a bypass! 469 00:25:21,556 --> 00:25:23,706 - What? - Lol told me this morning. 470 00:25:23,796 --> 00:25:26,264 And you let me come here and make a fool of myself? 471 00:25:26,356 --> 00:25:29,109 No, I said goodbye when you went off for aromatherapy. 472 00:25:29,196 --> 00:25:30,834 Oh! 473 00:25:30,916 --> 00:25:33,271 I'd better explain there's been a mix-up. 474 00:25:33,356 --> 00:25:36,632 And leave me to make a bigger fool of myself? No, thank you! 475 00:25:36,716 --> 00:25:40,231 Erm... sorry about that. Now, where was I? 476 00:25:40,316 --> 00:25:45,106 - Quite honestly not making much sense. - No, well, of course I wasn't. 477 00:25:45,196 --> 00:25:47,107 And do you want to know why? 478 00:25:48,156 --> 00:25:50,716 Well, I'll tell you why. 479 00:25:50,796 --> 00:25:52,752 Because everything I've said so far 480 00:25:52,836 --> 00:25:56,795 is just what those stupid people who oppose the bypass will say. 481 00:25:56,876 --> 00:25:59,868 - Aah. - Their arguments make no sense at all! 482 00:25:59,956 --> 00:26:02,834 "An act of sheer ecological vandalism" indeed! 483 00:26:02,916 --> 00:26:06,067 It's nothing more than building a nice road through... 484 00:26:06,156 --> 00:26:08,112 - Through... - A bit of old scrubland. 485 00:26:08,196 --> 00:26:10,107 A bit of old scrubland. Am I right? 486 00:26:10,196 --> 00:26:13,154 Exactly! There's more abandoned cars than trees up there. 487 00:26:13,236 --> 00:26:15,909 Yes. And now let's consider the planners. 488 00:26:15,996 --> 00:26:19,511 They're not "faceless", as their detractors would claim. 489 00:26:19,596 --> 00:26:21,348 No, they're a lot of decent people 490 00:26:21,436 --> 00:26:26,112 who've understood that this village needs a bypass because... because... 491 00:26:26,196 --> 00:26:27,629 - Juggernauts. - What? 492 00:26:27,716 --> 00:26:29,547 - Juggernauts. - Juggernauts! 493 00:26:29,636 --> 00:26:33,390 - Exactly, campers and caravans. - Roaring through the village all day. 494 00:26:33,476 --> 00:26:36,468 Making the crockery on our dresser rattle something awful. 495 00:26:36,556 --> 00:26:39,832 And as for those young people who think they've come to help, 496 00:26:39,916 --> 00:26:44,467 they're well-intentioned, but they haven't bothered to find out how the locals feel. 497 00:26:44,556 --> 00:26:45,545 That's right. 498 00:26:45,636 --> 00:26:50,505 - And they ruin policemen's weekends. - And they ruin policemen's weekends! 499 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:58,074 So we've got to stop bickering 500 00:26:58,156 --> 00:27:00,226 and um... get ourselves organised, 501 00:27:00,316 --> 00:27:03,706 and show those people in the encampment just how we feel. 502 00:27:03,796 --> 00:27:06,310 - Without violence. - Without violence. 503 00:27:06,396 --> 00:27:08,751 We'll distribute leaflets, get up a petition 504 00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:11,714 and show how much we want and need this bypass! 505 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:13,275 Yeah! 506 00:27:15,676 --> 00:27:19,225 Er... may I just add one thing? 507 00:27:19,316 --> 00:27:21,830 Erm... in the excitement, I think my wife left out 508 00:27:21,916 --> 00:27:24,476 something else that she wanted to say. 509 00:27:24,556 --> 00:27:27,389 We're very fond of this village and the people in it, 510 00:27:27,476 --> 00:27:29,546 but we're not locals. 511 00:27:29,636 --> 00:27:31,467 Now, you have our support 512 00:27:31,556 --> 00:27:33,945 and when we're here we'll give any help we can. 513 00:27:34,036 --> 00:27:38,666 But Jean knows, realistically, that that's all we can and should do. 514 00:27:38,756 --> 00:27:41,828 It's your village and your fight, so fight it! 515 00:27:42,676 --> 00:27:45,429 I think that's what you wanted to say, wasn't it? 516 00:27:45,516 --> 00:27:49,350 - On the whole, yes. - Mrs Hardcastle's right. 517 00:27:49,436 --> 00:27:53,224 It is our fight and we shouldn't be looking to others to fight it for us. 518 00:27:53,316 --> 00:27:56,513 - Best of luck with it. - We'll see you all in the pub tonight. 519 00:27:56,596 --> 00:27:59,235 Thank you very much for coming. 520 00:27:59,316 --> 00:28:02,149 Come on, do as the lady said. Let's get organised. 521 00:28:02,236 --> 00:28:04,511 What I should do first is I should... 522 00:28:04,596 --> 00:28:08,032 Paper, that's the first thing. We need paper. Who's got some paper? 523 00:28:08,116 --> 00:28:10,630 Somebody must have some paper! 524 00:28:10,716 --> 00:28:14,152 Have you got a pencil, then? A pencil with a rubber on it! 525 00:28:14,236 --> 00:28:17,546 - Haven't you got a pencil? - I can't afford a pencil! 526 00:28:21,876 --> 00:28:24,834 # You must remember this 527 00:28:24,916 --> 00:28:27,225 # A kiss is still a kiss 528 00:28:27,316 --> 00:28:30,467 # A sigh is just a sigh 529 00:28:32,636 --> 00:28:36,265 # The fundamental things apply 530 00:28:36,356 --> 00:28:40,065 # As time goes by 531 00:28:43,436 --> 00:28:46,155 # And when two lovers woo 532 00:28:46,236 --> 00:28:48,875 # They still say I love you 533 00:28:48,956 --> 00:28:51,754 # On that you can rely 534 00:28:54,756 --> 00:29:00,149 # The world will always welcome lovers 535 00:29:00,236 --> 00:29:08,268 # As time goes by # 44053

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