All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 04x22 - Sophias Choice

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you
for being a friend"

Girls, I am so excited.
I just got a big bonus at work.

Ah!

And guess what I've
decided to do with it.

(both) What?

I'm gonna have
my breasts enlarged.

You're not serious, Blanche?

Oh, sure I am.
Breasts are back in fashion.

And what God didn't give me,
Dr. Myron Rosensweig will.

Oh, that man is the Picasso
of plastic surgeons.

Just be sure he doesn't attach
one of them to your forehead.

Yes.

Hello. What's shaking?
Blanche's breasts.

That's why
she's gonna have 'em...

Shut up, Rose.

Ma, I haven't seen you all morning.
Where have you been?

I went to see
my friend Lillian.

Lillian, at Shady Pines?

Oh, you remember Shady Pines?

That retirement home you stuck
me in that resembled Sing Sing.

My mistake,
Sing Sing has a movie night.

Sophia, how is Lillian?

I don't know.
She wasn't there.

There was someone else
in her bed. It was weird.

Lillian? Oh, did you
say Lillian?

My God, you got a call
about her this morning.

I was so caught up in my
breasts, I totally forgot.

It happens to
all of us, Blanche.

That's why my rent check
was late.

It's from your friend
Gladys at Shady Pines.

She says Lillian was sent
to Sunny Pastures.

You see, Ma,
your friend is fine.

Fine? Are you kidding?

Sunny Pastures is the worst
nursing home in the city.

It's every old person's
nightmare.

That, and a childproof cap
on the Kaopectate bottle.

Ma, if it's licensed by the state,
your friend will be just fine there.

You don't understand.
It's where people wind up

when they can't afford
a place like Shady Pines.

It's the bottom of the barrel.

I have to see if Lillian is OK.

What? Ma, wait.

If it'll make you
feel better, I'll take you.

Oh, good.
Now while we're there,

will you promise you'll hold
my hand the entire time?

Oh, Ma, are you really
that scared?

No. I just wanna make sure

you're not grabbing at
brochures behind my back.

Oh, Rose, hi.
Listen, I just picked up

these pamphlets
at a cosmetic surgeon,

and I want you to help me decide
which alterations I'll get.

Blanche, none of these
women have any tops on.

Well, I know, honey.

These are the "after" pictures
of satisfied customers.

I was thinking about having
my breasts done like hers.

All right, Blanche, but do you
think black really suits you?

I was talking about the shape.

See, these are regal
and dignified and upscale.

And 50 percent off.

Dr. Rosensweig over-ordered
on the Vixen 3 model.

Blanche, are you sure you're
not being a bit silly?

Why?

Let me tell you something.

When I was a schoolgirl,
I developed early,

and all the boys
noticed and hit on me.

Not one boy was ever
interested in my mind.

Get outta here.

It's true.

But you, Blanche, I mean,
men are drawn to you

because of your charm

and your wit
and your zest for life.

I mean, you can have
the operation or not.

Men won't care one bit
about your breasts.

Really, Rose?
Not with me around.

(Blanche) Oh, hi, girls.
Did you all find Lillian?

You bet we did.

And that Sunny Pastures was
everything that Ma said it would be.

And how. There was crud
on the floor,

rats in the hallway, and 60
people to every blanket.

It wasn't fit for human life.

Although, in my village
in Sicily,

it would have been
a two-star motel.

Ma, you're exaggerating.
But not by much.

It was pretty bad.

Boy, when you hear
horrible stories like that,

it brings up so many questions.

It sure does.

Why do we let things
like this happen?

Why can't we care for our elderly
the way they do in Japan?

Why are there 17 sets of
hooters on the coffee table?

Those are mine, Sophia.

Oh, well, let me put on
my big surprised face.

Oh, I just wish there was something
we could do for the poor thing.

There is. I wanna sort of adopt
Lillian, visit her often.

I'm gonna need rides.

Oh, you can count on us,
sweetheart.

You sure can.

Absolutely.

Now, come on, it's getting late.
Let's get dinner, hmm?

Notice how they seem to
follow you wherever you go?

This is it, Sophia?

Well, this doesn't seem so bad.

Believe me, you have
to get into it more

before you realize
how bad it really is.

Just like War and Remembrance.

Excuse me, ladies, but
visiting hours are over.

Oh, then I guess
we'll just come back...

No, we don't. We're not
here to visit.

We're not?

No, we're here to see
about checking in Mom.

You two are sisters?

Uh... It's a long, involved,
and somewhat sordid story.

If you want to get
a clearer picture,

I suggest you rent
the cassette of Chinatown.

Sophia, what's going on?

It's a little surprise.

We're not visiting Lillian as
much as we're breaking her out.

What? We can't do that.

I mean, that's wrong.
What if we get caught?

Lillian is a great friend.
Will you do it, please?

Well, OK.

Good. I'll keep the staff
busy, you get Lillian.

She's down the hall,
last door on the right. Go.

Hello. I'm John Porter.

I'm in charge of admissions.

Oh, yeah. Hi.

I wanted to talk to you
about my mother.

About checking her in?

No, about her collection
of commemorative plates.

Of course
about checking her in.

She's 125.

You can't pry the yogurt
out of her hands.

Uh, I'll get the papers
from my office.

OK, Sophia. Let's go.

Go where?
That's not Lillian.

You said you were Lillian.

You think I'm in here
because I'm good with names?

Rose, try again.
She's in bed 68.

Now hurry.

Come on, honey.

OK, let's fill this out.

Uh, please. Um...

And you are?

Sophia. Sophia Pe...

Hawkins.

OK, Mrs. Pehawkins, um...

Maybe you can tell me
about your mother's history?

Picture it. Sicily, 1900.

An olive-skinned woman
sets sail for the new world.

I was talking about
her medical history.

So was I. You think
that was a pleasure cruise?

There was smallpox,
scurvy, typhoid.

And that was business class.

What I need to know is,
does your mother require

any special medical care?

She does. Uh...

An old war injury.
Remember the Maine?

She didn't.

She was a frogman and swam
right into the bulkhead.

They put a metal plate
in her head,

and now she gets HBO
through her eyeballs.

Don't look at me like that.

If Tyson has another fight, you may
wanna set her up in the rec hall.

This is all hard to believe.

If it's not true, my name
isn't Sophia Pehawkins.

(phone rings)

Excuse me.

Rose, what the hell
is going on?

I ask for Lillian,

you bring me
Eubie Blake's parents.

What's wrong?

They were the only
other people back there.

There is no way Lillian
is in this ward.

Hi, Sophia.

What are you doing here?

Oh, Lillian.

Thank God I found you.
I'm taking you away from here.

You are?

How are we gonna get out?
What about them? Leave it to a pro.

Runaway wheelchair!
Runaway wheelchair!

Wait a minute!
Come back here.

Oh, hi, Blanche. How was your
appointment with Dr. Rosensweig?

Well, I was so nervous
that I just rushed

right in there
and pulled off my top,

and said, "Well,
what do you think?"

What did he say?

He said, "I think you're probably
looking for Dr. Rosensweig."

"But if you ever
want a discount

on life insurance,
call me."

Oh, boy, do I need
a cup of coffee.

What's the matter?
Oh, this whole Lillian thing.

The woman was up all night.
Ma is exhausted.

Oh, this is all my fault.

Ah, well.
Don't worry about it.

At least I called the home and
checked her out for a week's visit.

So we're not
kidnappers anymore.

Ma, sit down.

Ma, we need to talk
about Lillian.

I said I'll take care of her.

Ma! I already take
care of you three,

so I'll do a little more
cleaning, a little more cooking,

and make up one more bed
in the morning.

Sophia, you don't make my bed.

I know. It's impossible
to put a fitted sheet

around a big,
hairy guy named Ed.

Hello, everyone.
Isn't it a lovely morning?

It sure is, sweetheart.
How about some pancakes?

Again? We had pancakes
yesterday.

Lillian, you weren't here
yesterday.

Here you are, honey.
A nice cup of tea.

Lillian, Sophia tells me

that you were in
the Ziegfeld Follies.

Oh, yes.
Those were the days.

You must have been something.

I was quite a looker.

Almost as pretty as you.

Why, thank you.

Of course,
I had bigger breasts.

Sophia, do you think I could
take a bath before breakfast?

It's been a while.
Let me help.

She's my friend.
I wanna help her.

Oh, it's just wonderful
to think about, isn't it,

the two of 'em together?

And they're so cute.

Thinking about your breasts
again, aren't you, Blanche?

(glass breaks)

I don't know this place.

Lillian, it's OK.

And I don't know you.

Lillian, I'm Dorothy.
And this is Sophia.

We're your friends.
We brought you here from the home last night.

Oh, OK, right. I'm sorry.

Now, why don't you go and
take that nice, hot bath?

Come on, sweetheart.

Ma, maybe you need a break.
Why don't you sit this out?

What?
Like I can't handle it?

Like it's too much
for poor old Sophia.

Like I'm so ancient,
I don't have the energy.

Get the lights on your way out.

Well, I guess it's my shift.

It's OK, Dorothy.
I think she's finally asleep.

Oh, thank God.
I am exhausted.

I haven't been this tired
since my wedding night.

Well, a night of unbridled passion
should take it out of you.

Who said anything
about passion?

I was tired from picking up beer
cans from Stan's poker buddies.

I just cannot believe

Lillian's only
been here 24 hours.

I cannot believe that Ma thought
she could handle her alone.

It's almost too much
for the four of us.

This just makes me so mad.

I mean, people like this
really need help.

Then there are places
like Sunny Pastures.

Well, there weren't any Sunny
Pastures in the South.

At least, not when
I was growing up.

I remember this one old man.
His name was Ben.

All he did all day long
was sit out there

on his family's front porch

in that old hickory
rocking chair

and whittle.

Just whittle.

I used to pass by there
on my way home from school,

and I'd say, "Hi, Ben."

And he'd yell back,
"Hi, Blanche.

Stay away
from my grandsons."

Anyway, I realized
that Ben could spend

all his days happy,
whittling away,

because his family
was there for him.

I will never forget
that look on his face.

He was happier than
a Kentucky yearling

frolicking in blue grass

as high as a hoot owl's perch
on the top of a spring...

In English, Jethro!
In English!

He was happy.

Anyway, Ben got older,

and I guess a little
bit frail, and...

This is the hard part
of my story.

One autumn day, I walked by that
porch and old Ben was gone.

I bet he died in the bed
he was born in.

No, he was sent up the river

on a morals charge.

Are you OK, Sophia?
You're awfully quiet.

What? Oh, it's just that
talking about Lillian

makes me think
about the future.

Oh, Ma. Honey, you have
nothing to worry about.

Who said I was talking
about my future?

You three aren't exactly
spring chickens, you know.

She's right.

One way or another,
we're all in the same boat.

I know, but right now,
our big problem is Lillian.

We obviously can't
take care of her,

and Sunny Pastures
is not doing its job.

What are we gonna do?

I know what I'm gonna do -

make Sunny Pastures do its job.

I'm gonna see the man
who runs that place

and give him a good what for.

I can be pretty mean and pretty
tough when I want to be.

There's only one thing
I'll need.

What, Dorothy?
My mother to come with me.

No, no, no, no.

I have the purchase order
right here in front of me.

This was your mistake,
and we're not paying for it.

Problems, problems, problems.

The world is bringing me
problems. And you are?

We are the world.

I'm Dorothy Zbornak.
This is my mother Sophia.

We're here to talk to you...
(phone rings)

Hello.

No. No, I did not order
40 fry-pans.

It was 40 bedpans.

I'm sorry.
You were telling me?

What we wanted to talk to you...
(phone rings)

Sorry. Hello.

Oh, good. Tell 'em
to drop it off

at the south end
loading dock. Right.

I'm so sorry.
It's always like this.

You were saying?

Mrs. Zbornak?

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I just figured
if I opened my mouth

that the phone
would start ringing.

Anyway, what I...
(phone rings)

That's OK.
I'll just let it ring.

(ringing continues)

We're here because we have
a very dear friend

who is a patient here,

and we have some concerns.

She's a lovely old woman,
very sweet and very kind,

and we would really hope
that in some way,

you know, you could...

Dammit! Will you
answer the phone?

Uh-huh.

Bill the insurance
company first.

The state takes care
of the rest.

So, you have some concerns
about Sunny Pastures?

Actually, they're more
like complaints.

Oh, complaints?
Oh, well...

What you need to do is fill out these
forms and mail them back to me.

Yes, and then what happens?
Then it goes right here into my inbox.

This is outrageous.

Lillian's problems
cannot wait that long.

She is old, she is sick, and she
needs better care right now.

I agree.

What?
Look, ladies,

Sunny Pastures doesn't
operate at a profit.

Our patients' social security

and Medicare
pay most of our bills.

The government subsidies
pick up the slack

so we can meet
minimum standards.

Then maybe minimum standards
aren't enough.

Right again.

And this year, the
government's made cutbacks.

We're operating in the red
and doing the best we can.

Are you telling me
that nothing can be done?

Look, I'd love
to help your friend.

I'd love to help
all our patients.

And if you have any ideas

on how to make it better,
I'm all ears.

(phone rings)

(sighs)

(ringing continues)

Hello.

Well, girls, how did it go?

Terrible.

I can't believe you live
80, 90 years

and wind up in a place
like Sunny Pastures.

I guess money makes
the world go round.

Hey, you live 80, 90 years,

just getting up too fast
makes the world go round.

Hi, everyone.
Where's Lillian?

I have some really good news.

She's napping.
What news?

Well, I spent the day
going around town,

and I think I found
the perfect place for her.

Really? Well, it's not
as nice as Shady Pines,

but the staff
really seems to care,

and the patients are happy.

Rose, that is fantastic.

And it won't cost any more
than Sunny Pastures?

Well, that's the one
little problem.

Lillian's benefits won't
quite cover the costs.

She'll need another
$150 a month.

Little problem? Rose, how could
you get our hopes up like that?

I mean, who has
an extra $150 a month?

I do.

What?

I do!

We'll use that bonus check
I got at work.

But, Blanche...
Don't try and talk me out of it, now.

My mind is made up.

Blanche, are you sure?
Sure, I'm sure.

Lillian ought to be
covered for two years

with that money
in my bosom account.

Blanche, I'm proud of you.

But why the sudden
change of heart?

Oh, well.

I guess this cosmetic surgery
business is pretty trivial, really.

I'll do fine
with what God gave me.

Having Lillian here
made me realize

that my problems
are pretty trite.

I suppose something like this

does make your breasts
seem rather small.

Well, sort of.

Well, then. That's that.

Lillian's problems are solved.
Isn't this terrific?

Terrific?
Ma, this is wonderful.

I mean, this is
a real happy ending.

So, how come I don't feel
all that happy?

I don't know.

Is it because we know that
Lillian's just plain lucky?

That a lot of old people
do slip through the cracks

and are forgotten?

And maybe
it may not be too long

until we're elderly ourselves?

I know, girls.

Let's make a pact

that we'll always
take care of each other.

That we'll never desert
each other, no matter what.

You can count on me, honey.

Do you think it's gonna be that
easy getting rid of me, Rose?

That was rhetorical, Rose.

Ah, but what
a comforting thought,

knowing you'll never be alone.

And listen, what the hell?

If we do have to go
to a nursing home,

let's all go together.

(all laugh)

But what happens when
there's only one of us left?

Don't worry.
I can take care of myself.