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1
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,091
.
2
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,180
- Okay, everyone,
let's try some big smiles
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,703
on this one, all right?
4
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:09,705
Big smiles, everyone.
5
00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,534
Dina, would you like
to smile for this one?
6
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,405
- No.
7
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,668
- Dina, please.
8
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,409
- Smiling would insinuate
that I support
9
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,846
what's happening right now,
which I truly do not.
10
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,240
- Oh, so documenting
the way our child
11
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,763
is coming into
this world is wrong?
12
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,374
- We have to document it
13
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,158
by dressing up
as Alvin and the Chipmunks?
14
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:31,161
- It's my favorite show,
and Glenn is such a Theodore.
15
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,684
- Yeah, I'm not a star.
16
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,382
I'm more supportive,
and, of course,
17
00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:36,340
Jerusha is such a Simon.
18
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,255
- Well, I wear
contact lenses now.
19
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,170
- Hey, guys, I'm sorry.
We have 15 minutes
20
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,085
left in the session,
so we're gonna need to...
21
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,304
- Okay, sorry, Dill.
22
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,349
All right, look,
Dina, just smile,
23
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,785
and I'll give you 50 bucks.
24
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,439
- Fine.
25
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,354
But I want to be Theodore.
26
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:55,359
- Fine!
I'll be stupid Alvin...
27
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,708
who can't follow rules
28
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,884
and always gets
everyone in trouble.
29
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,364
- Okay.
30
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,105
Big smiles, everyone.
31
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,369
Dina, you could show
less teeth.
32
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,849
- You get none
or all of them, Dill.
33
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,546
Pick a speed.
34
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,421
♪
35
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:23,344
- Aw, you're gonna make
a great mom.
36
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,520
- I'm just checking to see
if this baby stuff is safe.
37
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,697
Returned baby items
all get destroyed anyway.
38
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,916
- And it will be destroyed
in about two to three years
39
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,918
after my baby
is done using it.
40
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,703
- Ah, so you're stealing it.
41
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,400
- No, I'm not stealing it.
42
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,359
You can't steal something
that's about to be destroyed.
43
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:41,579
That's like if somebody's dying
and then you kill them.
44
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:42,885
Is that murder?
45
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,452
- That's exactly what that is.
46
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,193
- Well, baby stuff
is really expensive,
47
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:48,369
and it's not like I can reuse
anything I used with Emma.
48
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:51,154
Did you know
that car seats expire?
49
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,764
It's plastic and metal.
50
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:56,290
Can you hit the light, please?
- Yeah.
51
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,248
Oh.
both: Ew.
52
00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:01,947
- Do you think that's urine
or semen?
53
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,820
- Which one of those
would be okay?
54
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:06,909
- I never thought of myself
as photogenic,
55
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:11,566
but Dill really knows how
to strengthen a collapsed chin.
56
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,394
- So, in this one,
you guys are chefs
57
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,352
waiting to eat the baby?
58
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,963
- Yeah, but it's just a goof.
We don't really want to eat it.
59
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,574
This one's a mystery.
60
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,793
Who's really the pregnant one?
61
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,187
- I'm sorry, hold up.
I got to go back.
62
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,798
Wouldn't the chefs be preparing
the food, not waiting to eat it?
63
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,366
- Well, there--Dina--
64
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,543
maybe Dina's a new chef,
and we're taste-testing
65
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:33,979
to see if we'd hire her.
66
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,547
- And if you don't like
the taste of the baby...
67
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,375
- I don't know.
We throw it away?
68
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:41,248
- What, you'd throw your
half
69
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:43,641
- Okay, I don't know!
We didn't really talk about it!
70
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,470
- Make sure to highlight
my elbows.
71
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:47,950
They're my best feature.
72
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,821
- Why didn't you just get
Glenn's photographer
73
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,301
to take your Christmas card
photo while you were there?
74
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,781
- He was supposed to,
but then he got a call
75
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,826
from his wife--
something about a house fire?
76
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,480
I don't know.
I wasn't paying attention.
77
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,917
I-I just want a card
that will blow my ugly sister
78
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,006
Denise's card out of the water.
79
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,530
- The one with
restless leg syndrome?
80
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:03,748
- That's not what
makes her ugly, Sandra.
81
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,489
That's what makes
her legs restless.
82
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,839
- So then you just decided
to go with this setup?
83
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,842
Hmm. Okay.
84
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:13,280
It's the tree, isn't it?
85
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,978
The tree sucks, right?
Sandra picked out the tree.
86
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,459
- It's October, so there
weren't a lot of choices.
87
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,680
- It's just feeling very
2003 Sears strip mall,
88
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:25,509
if that makes any sense.
- Uh, that makes perfect sense.
89
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,816
- I would just make it
less bad,
90
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,644
if that makes any sense.
91
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,820
- Uh-huh.
- Like, what if...
92
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,517
"Miracle on 34th Street"
took place
93
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:36,651
on the first day
of the L.A. riots?
94
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,305
- Let's find out.
95
00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:41,482
[light Muzak playing
over speakers]
96
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,400
- Oh, wow, cute car seat.
97
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,010
Most moms are afraid
to buy this one
98
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,968
because of the safety issues,
but I love it.
99
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,712
Well, just that, like,
in an accident,
100
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,932
it's prone to, um,
what's the word--
101
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:57,976
crumpling?
102
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,717
It's kind of a mess.
103
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,416
They--they found babies just
littered on the pavement.
104
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:05,723
Sometimes they're just
lying there...
105
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,377
inside out.
106
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,032
- Oh, my God.
Are they dead?
107
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:14,079
- Well, they're inside out,
so I hope so.
108
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,907
But if that makes
you uncomfortable,
109
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,910
you could always return
this one for a safer car seat.
110
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,347
- Oh, no, it's fine.
111
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,001
It's just a gift
for my stupid neighbor.
112
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,399
- Yeah, that one got away
from me--it went a little dark.
113
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,053
- Okay, well, I have an idea.
114
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,447
You're probably gonna hate it.
- Love that confidence.
115
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,797
- I'm making you
a baby shower registry.
116
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,539
- Ew. God, no.
I hate baby showers.
117
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,498
I hate the--the stupid games
and the--the dumb decorations
118
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,413
and people touching
your belly, saying,
119
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,415
"Oh, my God. You're so big,"
as if that's a thing
120
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,591
you're allowed to say to people,
which it's not.
121
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,767
- Okay, well, I'm not saying you
actually have the baby shower,
122
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,117
but if you create a registry,
then tomorrow
123
00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:54,729
when your "baby shower"
is over,
124
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:57,601
you can get everything
on the registry for 20% off.
125
00:04:57,645 --> 00:05:00,343
- No, that's not gonna work.
126
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,607
Yeah, what if--hmm...
127
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,130
There's a small chance
this might be a good idea.
128
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,958
Plus, you get
the little welcome box
129
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,352
with the diapers
and the wipes and stuff--
130
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:10,745
all free.
131
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,355
- Damn it.
132
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,965
I really want to hate this idea,
but I'm into it.
133
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:18,056
- I know. I'm sorry.
So annoying.
134
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,798
- This doesn't
seem Christmas-y.
135
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,410
- So the idea there is
post-apocalyptic Christmas.
136
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,020
Like, what if the Grinch
had succeeded
137
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,631
in conquering Whoville
and Cindy Lou Who grew up,
138
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,546
got boobs,
and was leading a resistance?
139
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:32,070
Like, not that exactly,
but in that area.
140
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:33,985
- I don't want to be insulting,
141
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,988
but are we sure that idea
is not just pure gay nonsense?
142
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,903
Dina...
143
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,949
I am trying to give you
something original,
144
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,690
something that will make
ugly Denise
145
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:43,908
want to walk into the ocean.
146
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,562
Can you please just trust me?
147
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,390
- Honestly,
that's gonna be tough.
148
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,827
I've always had this weird thing
about people with glasses.
149
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,873
When I was younger,
a nearsighted man bit me.
150
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,657
You know what?
It's a long story.
151
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,704
I-I got hep A.
I'm okay now, but...
152
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,490
All right,
let's see what else you got.
153
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,884
- Okay, this next outfit
answers the question,
154
00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:05,800
what if Cogsworth
from "Beauty and the Beast"...
155
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,671
was a hot tween?
156
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,848
- I haven't heard from
my parents since the volcano.
157
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,415
I'm starting to get
a little worried.
158
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,764
- You're so lucky.
159
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:16,506
Bo's mom calls, like,
all the time.
160
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,510
Oh, my God. What?
161
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:23,861
Amy, why didn't you tell me
you were having a baby shower?
162
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,602
No, I'm--I'm not.
163
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,691
- Then why did your registry
pop up on the system?
164
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,432
It says your shower's today.
165
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,434
- Here's your
complimentary gift box.
166
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,742
- Hmm. It's smaller
than I thought it'd be.
167
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,483
- Wait,
Amy's having a baby shower?
168
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,528
- Mm-hmm.
169
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:39,790
- None of us were.
170
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,575
- Okay, look,
what happened was,
171
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:44,055
I actually had
a really smart idea--
172
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,970
- Okay, please,
I find that hard to believe.
173
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:48,059
- So did I.
- Sarah, Sayid...
174
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,105
Amy's throwing a baby shower,
and none of were invited.
175
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,456
- Sayid, you started,
like, two days ago.
176
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,545
- Well, I'm having a pool party
this weekend,
177
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,634
and you're not invited.
178
00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,549
Sarah, Sayid,
you coming to my pool party?
179
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,464
- I don't want to go.
180
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,074
I want to go
to Amy's baby shower.
181
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,076
- She doesn't want us!
182
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,080
.
183
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:12,127
- Why can't I just delete
the registry?
184
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,260
- Tap--tap the screen harder.
That'll do it.
185
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,479
I have another idea,
186
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,263
and there's a chance
you may not love it.
187
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,091
- Oh, I don't see how
that could possibly be true.
188
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:23,443
- What if you did have
a baby shower?
189
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,575
I'm not saying some big,
elaborate party, okay?
190
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:28,360
Just, like, a quick ten-minute
thing in the break room--
191
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:31,494
no games, no belly touching,
no one feels excluded,
192
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,453
and you get a bunch of gifts.
193
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,237
- Well, obviously
I like the gifts part.
194
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,108
The gifts part is not
the problem.
195
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,719
- How much is
that Pack 'n Play?
196
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:41,504
80? Eh, I guess
that's not that bad.
197
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,465
- Well, I mean,
at this point,
198
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,423
it feels like people
would be disappointed
199
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,990
if I didn't have the shower.
200
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,166
For sure.
201
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:54,299
- And, really, who am I to take
a party away from them?
202
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,127
- You're a good friend.
203
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,042
- Yeah.
204
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,305
- Yes, now just reach out
and touch the polar bear, okay?
205
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,742
You're not afraid.
206
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,526
He just ate a seal
so he's not gonna eat you.
207
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,312
- Yes!
208
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,097
Ah, now try smiling,
but only using
209
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:11,099
your eyes and ears.
210
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:14,494
Yes, bitch!
You are killing it. Oh!
211
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,147
Okay.
212
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,758
What do you think?
213
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,238
Wow.
214
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,501
These pictures make me jealous
215
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,503
of everyone I've ever
had sex with.
216
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,634
- Mm-hmm.
217
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,810
Should we...
take a couple more?
218
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:29,378
I'm very comfortable
with nudity.
219
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,685
- It was just gonna be
a small thing with family,
220
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,643
so I didn't want
to tell anybody,
221
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,645
but then I realized
222
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,561
that you guys are like
my second family.
223
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,042
- Aw, like the one
that my dad has.
224
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,739
- Kind of. Yeah.
225
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,654
So, you know,
it's just gonna be
226
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:47,309
a real quick little thing
in the break room here--
227
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:52,357
just a fast, quick,
easy, not-long shower.
228
00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:54,142
- That sounds amazing.
229
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:02,324
- Well, I've been getting into
making fancy lady gloves lately.
230
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,195
I think I have one
I can show you.
231
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,762
- Oh, uh--
232
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:08,199
- For my gift, I don't think
I can fit your entire name
233
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,679
on a piece of rice,
234
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:12,334
but I do think I can probably
get an A on there.
235
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:15,206
- Or just give her
three pieces of rice.
236
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,686
- No, guys,
all of this sounds like
237
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:19,210
a lot of work
for what is, again,
238
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,866
a small, fast, quick,
little, not-big-deal shower.
239
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,347
So you guys can just grab
something off the registry,
240
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,175
anything--
doesn't even matter what.
241
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:30,265
It's like, I think there's
still a car seat on there.
242
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,615
- Here it is.
243
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:36,358
- Oh.
- Just imagine your hand in it.
244
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:39,100
- Just have it say, uh,
"congrats on the baby."
245
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,711
I can do curses for you.
246
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:47,108
- I-I think just, uh,
what I said is good.
247
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,588
- Hey.
248
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,633
I heard Amy's having
a baby shower.
249
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,157
- Ah, well,
it's barely a shower.
250
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:56,247
It's a--it's a trickle.
It's a baby trickle.
251
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,119
- That sounds wonderful.
252
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:01,905
Hey, you know who likes
baby showers?
253
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,429
Jerusha.
254
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:05,866
- Yeah, well, you--
255
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:08,433
you guys should totally
have one, you know.
256
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,913
- Yeah, it's just
that we haven't
257
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,263
really had time
to plan anything for the baby,
258
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:13,917
'cause, you know,
I've been in the weeds
259
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,441
trying to set up the Nest Cam.
260
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,923
It keeps picking up a feed
from another baby...
261
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,925
or a ghost.
262
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:24,841
- W-well, if you need help
with the Nest Cam--
263
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,451
Yeah, it just--
264
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:29,585
God, if there was another
baby shower
265
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,761
that was happening already
266
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:33,894
that we could piggyback on,
267
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,331
that would be so...
268
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,159
great.
269
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:40,291
- Yeah, well...
270
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:41,815
And, believe me,
I would say,
271
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,730
uh, you guys should join
this one, but--
272
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,688
- That's a great idea.
Oh, my--
273
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,559
Oh, my God.
Jerush'a gonna be so happy.
274
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:49,518
- Right, but it's--it's just,
like, a quick, little,
275
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,302
ten-minute thing
in the break room after work.
276
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,609
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
it's a double baby shower.
277
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,393
The break room's not
big enough.
278
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,657
You're gonna need space
for the chocolate fountain
279
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,485
and the balloon arch
and the juice luge.
280
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:01,704
Hey, honey?
- No, that--
281
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,271
- Guess what.
282
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,533
- You're a young girl
from Nazareth.
283
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,317
You're pregnant with Jesus,
284
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:08,232
and you're trying to make
a go of it in a new city.
285
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:09,581
But you're lost!
- Oh.
286
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,192
- You're lost in New York!
287
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,716
Let me know
if this is too much!
288
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,326
- No, it's good!
289
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:16,893
I feel like I'm European!
290
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:22,464
- I'm having a really good time
with you!
291
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:23,944
- Okay.
292
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,728
This really has nothing to do
with Christmas,
293
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,556
but it's very important to me
that we do this.
294
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,866
I need you
to sign this, uh...
295
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,698
- Garrett, please.
This is a hot set!
296
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,569
- Oh, yeah. No, I know.
It's just--
297
00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:42,440
Yeah, I'm gonna--
I'm cool.
298
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,661
- Garrett!
299
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,880
Oh, yeah.
300
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,359
No worries, I'm out of here.
301
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,883
Oh.
302
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:53,364
All right, well,
I'll see y'all later.
303
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,627
Hang ten.
304
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:58,848
- I felt guilty.
305
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,676
You know I have
too much empathy.
306
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,765
- Jerusha's friends are
the creepiest.
307
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,462
Don't you remember
the shrimp boil?
308
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:05,768
There was all
that mouth kissing.
309
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,378
- There was.
- Yeah.
310
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,554
- I can't believe this.
311
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,731
I was pregnant, and no one
threw me a baby shower,
312
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:13,036
and now Jerusha gets one?
313
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,559
And she doesn't even work here.
314
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,520
I could add your name
to the sign.
315
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,435
- I mean,
you already have the kid.
316
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:21,915
She already has the kid,
so she doesn't want to--
317
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,308
- No. No. That'd be awesome.
318
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,789
I mean, it's barely a shower.
319
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,617
There aren't gonna be
any games.
320
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,053
- Oh, I can handle the games.
321
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,838
I know, like,
a million good ones,
322
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:34,579
and Bo knows a guy
who owns a bunch of storks.
323
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:35,885
I don't know
if that's helpful,
324
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,844
but when they get drunk,
it's hilarious.
325
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,062
- Super helpful.
326
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,586
- Oh, this party's
gonna be sick!
327
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,458
- Yeah!
328
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:46,069
.
329
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:49,159
[indistinct chatter,
pop music playing over speakers]
330
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,989
- Look at all the food
and different-colored cups.
331
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,296
This is really special.
332
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,950
- Yep, and all the people.
333
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:59,474
So many people.
- Yeah, of course.
334
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:00,867
I mean, well, between you
335
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,521
and Cheyenne
and Jerusha and Diane.
336
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:07,438
- You remember Diane
from the shrimp boil.
337
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,136
I told her she could share
our shower.
338
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,615
I hope that's okay.
339
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,487
Diane!
340
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,402
Yoo-hoo.
- Amy!
341
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,665
Hi!
- Hi.
342
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,188
Ooh.
343
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,495
- Thank you so much
for including me.
344
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:23,498
Oh, my gosh,
look at your belly.
345
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,369
- Yep.
- You've really popped.
346
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:26,414
- Mm-hmm.
347
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,937
- Let's see if I can find
348
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,330
your belly button
on the first try.
349
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,158
- Oh.
350
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,203
- No.
351
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:36,076
- Do me next!
- Oh! Yeah...
352
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,645
♪
353
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:45,172
- Placen-tacos.
Caesarian salad.
354
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,304
Amniocen
355
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,219
- Why does every food need
a theme name?
356
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,352
Baby Boy Wieners?
Why even write that?
357
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,354
- It's better with no sign.
358
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,183
Check out this
dad-to-be loading up on snacks.
359
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,011
Got to keep that energy up,
right, know what I'm saying?
360
00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,708
- No idea what you're saying.
361
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:02,102
- Talking about J-Man here.
Congrats on that baby, dog.
362
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,364
What's up?
You know what?
363
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,279
Babies, they're
the best, okay?
364
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,281
You can, like, sit 'em down
and write stuff all over 'em.
365
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,978
They can't do nothing about it.
366
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,545
- Oh, yeah.
No, I'm not the--
367
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,373
It's--it's Adam.
368
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:15,028
- Nah, but I saw that clip
of two boning on the Internet.
369
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,464
You know what I'm saying?
Wow!
370
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:17,900
- Yeah.
371
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,554
- She--she was already
pregnant.
372
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:22,731
- Whoa! What if you got her
double pregnant?
373
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,038
- Well, that's not
really possible.
374
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,040
- Well, we don't know
it's impossible.
375
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,259
- Yeah, that's true.
We don't knowknow that
376
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,566
- I didn't get Amy
double pregnant.
377
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,133
- I bet those babies
are all up in Amy's stomach
378
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,569
just fighting it out.
379
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,179
Like, "Yo, baby,
I was here first."
380
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,313
"Give me that freakin'
umbilical cord, dog."
381
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,228
I'ma slurp it all up.
382
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,276
- And we got it.
383
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,235
Great work, everyone.
384
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:51,934
Darren, I will see you
Friday night at Zippers.
385
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,676
Okay, what do you think?
386
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:58,245
- Oh, wow. I look like
a hot, glowing Stanley Tucci.
387
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:00,247
- Yeah.
- Sorry, redundant much, Dina.
388
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,032
I know right.
389
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,251
- These are good,
390
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:07,471
but I have one more
really great idea.
391
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,517
Might seem a little crazy.
392
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,519
Do you trust me?
393
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,957
- We're so lucky
that Darren had this harness
394
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,306
in his trunk, huh?
395
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,612
This is awesome.
396
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,092
- Last but not least,
397
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:21,964
I need to thank
my Uber driver, Dmitri,
398
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:25,185
for getting me here
from Ponderosa so quickly.
399
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:29,102
If I could've given you
six stars, I would have.
400
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:32,409
- That was just beautiful,
Jerusha.
401
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,543
Huh? Yeah.
402
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,414
Now I'm gonna pass
the mic around
403
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:40,374
so that everyone has
a chance to say something.
404
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,593
Dmitri, would you like
to kick us off?
405
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,508
- Actually, um...
406
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:48,295
how about we keep
this party train rolling,
407
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:51,472
and next stop is the gifts.
408
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:53,039
Choo-choo.
409
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:56,259
- Okay, somebody knows
I love trains.
410
00:15:56,303 --> 00:16:00,742
But gifts are like the caboose.
They always come at the...
411
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,309
- End!
412
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:06,356
But what if we shake it up
and do it now?
413
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,838
Who wants to get crazy?
414
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,492
- Amy.
- Sayid.
415
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,842
- Mental illness is not a joke.
416
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,539
Jerusha's cousin is crazy.
417
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,238
- He ate all
of his fingernails off.
418
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,675
- This is getting boring, yo.
Sleep-sleep!
419
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,590
- Yeah, let's play games!
420
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,505
- Ah, seeing as you're
husband-less,
421
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:28,161
do you want your partner
to be Dmitri or
422
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,210
This is nice and humiliating.
- I know. I'm sorry.
423
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,690
Could you spread your legs?
424
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,866
I'm having trouble
getting in the--
425
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:41,348
uh, the undercarriage.
426
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,480
I'll go around.
- Yeah.
427
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,830
- Yeah, dip, dip, dip!
That's right. That's right.
428
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:49,051
My baby's getting all
the nipples. What, what!
429
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,357
Yeah!
430
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,446
Jerusha, are you okay?
431
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,665
Can someone check on Jeru--
Jerusha can't swim!
432
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:57,277
- Okay, there we go.
433
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,717
- It's peas and--
Oh, it's expired.
434
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,241
Uh, don't eat the baby food.
The baby food is bad.
435
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,895
It's bad.
436
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:09,680
- There he is!
437
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,726
Come one, Glenn!
You can do it!
438
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,684
Whoo, Glenn, you won!
439
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:16,861
That's my big, strong daddy!
- Oh, no, no, no, hell, no.
440
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:19,560
You knocked over that cone back
there, dog--I want a rematch.
441
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:22,215
- No, no, no, it's--it's okay.
Let's calm down.
442
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,347
It's just a game.
Just a game, huh?
443
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,914
Just a game this, all right?
444
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,872
- Well--hey, Bo.
445
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:30,353
Bo.
446
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:32,834
['80s pop music playing
over speakers]
447
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:36,620
♪
448
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,580
- And Kevin knew they were gonna
rob Mr. Duncan's toy store,
449
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,582
so we threw
a rock through the window.
450
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,584
- I can't believe his mom
forgot him again.
451
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,760
Ugh. You know, some women just
shouldn't be parents.
452
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,501
There, I said it.
453
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,111
Oh.
454
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,809
I need a new memory card.
BRB.
455
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:55,422
- ♪ And the bee drank tea
- ♪ Yeah, yeah
456
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:59,165
- ♪ And the snake ate cake
- ♪ Yeah, slither, slither
457
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,557
♪ Boom, yeah
458
00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,559
- This party is never
going to end.
459
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,431
And I don't even care
about the gifts anymore.
460
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:07,608
I just want to get out of here.
How do we get out of here?
461
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,698
- You could go into labor.
- I've been trying.
462
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:13,135
- Excuse me,
I have a delivery here.
463
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,443
- Oh, I didn't know we had
a delivery scheduled for today.
464
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:19,446
Actually, that is my delivery.
465
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:20,795
I have been waiting for that.
466
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:25,278
You haven't even had
your caricature done
467
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:26,366
by Diane yet.
468
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:29,151
- Oh, uh, yeah, I'm sure.
469
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,805
So I'll see you guys tomorrow.
470
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,328
Thank you, everyone,
for coming to the party.
471
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:33,808
It means so much.
472
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,244
Jonah, if you could grab
the gifts on the way out.
473
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:36,680
We can go handle this
in the warehouse.
474
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,465
- Oh, that's okay.
475
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,815
We can just take care of it
right here. Did you order...
476
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,469
a baby?
- Oh.
477
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:45,646
No, I did not order--
478
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,517
This was not me.
- Yeah, I know,
479
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,911
'cause I ordered this baby
stripper for Cheyenne, yo.
480
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:52,305
Amy, you got to Venmo me
half of this, okay?
481
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:56,439
Okay, that's--could you--
482
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:01,444
.
483
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,012
[sultry hip-hop music playing
over speakers]
484
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:05,840
- I still think
this was a good idea.
485
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,320
- Mm-hmm.
486
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,236
- I mean, I-I'm enjoying myself.
- Oh, well, good.
487
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,107
I'm glad
you're enjoying yourself.
488
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,369
- It was all worth it.
489
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:16,285
- Uh-oh,
I think it's tummy time.
490
00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,026
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, yes it is.
491
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,506
- Oh, no, no--
- Now I'm having a good time.
492
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,986
- I thought he was--
No, I'm--I'm good. Thanks.
493
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,466
You're--that's--
494
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,513
- So how did the rest
of the photo shoot go with Dina?
495
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:29,080
- Sounds good.
496
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:31,257
- Mateo!
497
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,302
Can you hear me?
498
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:37,132
I trust you,
but I really need to pee.
499
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,961
This quaint little village
is about to get flooded.
500
00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:45,184
Oh, thank you, Sayid.
501
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,663
It is Amy with a Y, though.
502
00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:48,883
- It's not my fault.
We just met.
503
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:51,015
- That is very true. Yeah.
504
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:54,323
Uh, I will just--
I'll put this my other...
505
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,238
wood.
506
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,675
Okay, well,
I think that was the last one,
507
00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:01,678
so thank you all so much
for my gifts.
508
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,376
It was really nice of you--
509
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,204
- Oh, wait, you forgot ours.
510
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,380
- Oh, uh,
an embroidered badger.
511
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,946
Awesome.
512
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,383
- Oh, no, no, no,
this is for Diane.
513
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:13,908
- Sorry, we just got you
something off the registry.
514
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,215
- Oh, my God.
It's the car seat.
515
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,521
- You can swap with Diane
if you want.
516
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:22,351
- No, no! No. No, no, I, um--
I actually really like this.
517
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:25,093
Not that I didn't like
this stuff,
518
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,355
although some
of it was garbage.
519
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:27,922
Not, like, trash garbage.
520
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,228
Just, like,
I can actually use this,
521
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,446
and I really, really love it.
522
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,361
- Oh, good.
- Thank you so much.
523
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,233
Thank you.
524
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:39,063
- So how long
have you guys been dating?
525
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,630
No
526
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,371
That's--
Uh-uh.
527
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,243
That's not--
Why would you--
528
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,377
How did you know?
529
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:51,467
- You just seem really happy
for the first time in a while.
530
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,556
- Huh.
- I'm playing, man.
531
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,732
I saw you guys making out
in the parking lot last week.
532
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:58,257
Congratulations, though.
533
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:02,391
[Dina grunting,
train whistle blows]
534
00:21:02,435 --> 00:21:04,306
- Sandra! Sandra!
535
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,569
Oh, finally.
Come get me down.
536
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,268
Oh, thank God. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
537
00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,227
Oh, no.
538
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,142
Are you serious?
539
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:18,277
Oh, I respect you as much
as I hate you right now.
540
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,453
Oh, Sandra!
39417
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