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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,091 . 2 00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,180 - Okay, everyone, let's try some big smiles 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,703 on this one, all right? 4 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:09,705 Big smiles, everyone. 5 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,534 Dina, would you like to smile for this one? 6 00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,405 - No. 7 00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,668 - Dina, please. 8 00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,409 - Smiling would insinuate that I support 9 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,846 what's happening right now, which I truly do not. 10 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,240 - Oh, so documenting the way our child 11 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,763 is coming into this world is wrong? 12 00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,374 - We have to document it 13 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,158 by dressing up as Alvin and the Chipmunks? 14 00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:31,161 - It's my favorite show, and Glenn is such a Theodore. 15 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,684 - Yeah, I'm not a star. 16 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,382 I'm more supportive, and, of course, 17 00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:36,340 Jerusha is such a Simon. 18 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,255 - Well, I wear contact lenses now. 19 00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,170 - Hey, guys, I'm sorry. We have 15 minutes 20 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,085 left in the session, so we're gonna need to... 21 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,304 - Okay, sorry, Dill. 22 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,349 All right, look, Dina, just smile, 23 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,785 and I'll give you 50 bucks. 24 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,439 - Fine. 25 00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,354 But I want to be Theodore. 26 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:55,359 - Fine! I'll be stupid Alvin... 27 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,708 who can't follow rules 28 00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,884 and always gets everyone in trouble. 29 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,364 - Okay. 30 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,105 Big smiles, everyone. 31 00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,369 Dina, you could show less teeth. 32 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,849 - You get none or all of them, Dill. 33 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,546 Pick a speed. 34 00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,421 ♪ 35 00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:23,344 - Aw, you're gonna make a great mom. 36 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,520 - I'm just checking to see if this baby stuff is safe. 37 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,697 Returned baby items all get destroyed anyway. 38 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,916 - And it will be destroyed in about two to three years 39 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,918 after my baby is done using it. 40 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,703 - Ah, so you're stealing it. 41 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,400 - No, I'm not stealing it. 42 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,359 You can't steal something that's about to be destroyed. 43 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:41,579 That's like if somebody's dying and then you kill them. 44 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:42,885 Is that murder? 45 00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,452 - That's exactly what that is. 46 00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,193 - Well, baby stuff is really expensive, 47 00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:48,369 and it's not like I can reuse anything I used with Emma. 48 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:51,154 Did you know that car seats expire? 49 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,764 It's plastic and metal. 50 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:56,290 Can you hit the light, please? - Yeah. 51 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,248 Oh. both: Ew. 52 00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:01,947 - Do you think that's urine or semen? 53 00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,820 - Which one of those would be okay? 54 00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:06,909 - I never thought of myself as photogenic, 55 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:11,566 but Dill really knows how to strengthen a collapsed chin. 56 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,394 - So, in this one, you guys are chefs 57 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,352 waiting to eat the baby? 58 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,963 - Yeah, but it's just a goof. We don't really want to eat it. 59 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,574 This one's a mystery. 60 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,793 Who's really the pregnant one? 61 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,187 - I'm sorry, hold up. I got to go back. 62 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,798 Wouldn't the chefs be preparing the food, not waiting to eat it? 63 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,366 - Well, there--Dina-- 64 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,543 maybe Dina's a new chef, and we're taste-testing 65 00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:33,979 to see if we'd hire her. 66 00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,547 - And if you don't like the taste of the baby... 67 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,375 - I don't know. We throw it away? 68 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:41,248 - What, you'd throw your half 69 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:43,641 - Okay, I don't know! We didn't really talk about it! 70 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:46,470 - Make sure to highlight my elbows. 71 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:47,950 They're my best feature. 72 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,821 - Why didn't you just get Glenn's photographer 73 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,301 to take your Christmas card photo while you were there? 74 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,781 - He was supposed to, but then he got a call 75 00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,826 from his wife-- something about a house fire? 76 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,480 I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. 77 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,917 I-I just want a card that will blow my ugly sister 78 00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,006 Denise's card out of the water. 79 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,530 - The one with restless leg syndrome? 80 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:03,748 - That's not what makes her ugly, Sandra. 81 00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,489 That's what makes her legs restless. 82 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,839 - So then you just decided to go with this setup? 83 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,842 Hmm. Okay. 84 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:13,280 It's the tree, isn't it? 85 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,978 The tree sucks, right? Sandra picked out the tree. 86 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,459 - It's October, so there weren't a lot of choices. 87 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,680 - It's just feeling very 2003 Sears strip mall, 88 00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:25,509 if that makes any sense. - Uh, that makes perfect sense. 89 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,816 - I would just make it less bad, 90 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,644 if that makes any sense. 91 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,820 - Uh-huh. - Like, what if... 92 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,517 "Miracle on 34th Street" took place 93 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:36,651 on the first day of the L.A. riots? 94 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,305 - Let's find out. 95 00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:41,482 [light Muzak playing over speakers] 96 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,400 - Oh, wow, cute car seat. 97 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,010 Most moms are afraid to buy this one 98 00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,968 because of the safety issues, but I love it. 99 00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,712 Well, just that, like, in an accident, 100 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,932 it's prone to, um, what's the word-- 101 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:57,976 crumpling? 102 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,717 It's kind of a mess. 103 00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,416 They--they found babies just littered on the pavement. 104 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:05,723 Sometimes they're just lying there... 105 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,377 inside out. 106 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,032 - Oh, my God. Are they dead? 107 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:14,079 - Well, they're inside out, so I hope so. 108 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,907 But if that makes you uncomfortable, 109 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,910 you could always return this one for a safer car seat. 110 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,347 - Oh, no, it's fine. 111 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:23,001 It's just a gift for my stupid neighbor. 112 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,399 - Yeah, that one got away from me--it went a little dark. 113 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,053 - Okay, well, I have an idea. 114 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,447 You're probably gonna hate it. - Love that confidence. 115 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,797 - I'm making you a baby shower registry. 116 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,539 - Ew. God, no. I hate baby showers. 117 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,498 I hate the--the stupid games and the--the dumb decorations 118 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,413 and people touching your belly, saying, 119 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,415 "Oh, my God. You're so big," as if that's a thing 120 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,591 you're allowed to say to people, which it's not. 121 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,767 - Okay, well, I'm not saying you actually have the baby shower, 122 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,117 but if you create a registry, then tomorrow 123 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:54,729 when your "baby shower" is over, 124 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:57,601 you can get everything on the registry for 20% off. 125 00:04:57,645 --> 00:05:00,343 - No, that's not gonna work. 126 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,607 Yeah, what if--hmm... 127 00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,130 There's a small chance this might be a good idea. 128 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,958 Plus, you get the little welcome box 129 00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,352 with the diapers and the wipes and stuff-- 130 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:10,745 all free. 131 00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,355 - Damn it. 132 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,965 I really want to hate this idea, but I'm into it. 133 00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:18,056 - I know. I'm sorry. So annoying. 134 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,798 - This doesn't seem Christmas-y. 135 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,410 - So the idea there is post-apocalyptic Christmas. 136 00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,020 Like, what if the Grinch had succeeded 137 00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,631 in conquering Whoville and Cindy Lou Who grew up, 138 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,546 got boobs, and was leading a resistance? 139 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:32,070 Like, not that exactly, but in that area. 140 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:33,985 - I don't want to be insulting, 141 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,988 but are we sure that idea is not just pure gay nonsense? 142 00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,903 Dina... 143 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,949 I am trying to give you something original, 144 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,690 something that will make ugly Denise 145 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:43,908 want to walk into the ocean. 146 00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,562 Can you please just trust me? 147 00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,390 - Honestly, that's gonna be tough. 148 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,827 I've always had this weird thing about people with glasses. 149 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,873 When I was younger, a nearsighted man bit me. 150 00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,657 You know what? It's a long story. 151 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,704 I-I got hep A. I'm okay now, but... 152 00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,490 All right, let's see what else you got. 153 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,884 - Okay, this next outfit answers the question, 154 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:05,800 what if Cogsworth from "Beauty and the Beast"... 155 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,671 was a hot tween? 156 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,848 - I haven't heard from my parents since the volcano. 157 00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,415 I'm starting to get a little worried. 158 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,764 - You're so lucky. 159 00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:16,506 Bo's mom calls, like, all the time. 160 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,510 Oh, my God. What? 161 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:23,861 Amy, why didn't you tell me you were having a baby shower? 162 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,602 No, I'm--I'm not. 163 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,691 - Then why did your registry pop up on the system? 164 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,432 It says your shower's today. 165 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,434 - Here's your complimentary gift box. 166 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,742 - Hmm. It's smaller than I thought it'd be. 167 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,483 - Wait, Amy's having a baby shower? 168 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,528 - Mm-hmm. 169 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:39,790 - None of us were. 170 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,575 - Okay, look, what happened was, 171 00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:44,055 I actually had a really smart idea-- 172 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,970 - Okay, please, I find that hard to believe. 173 00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:48,059 - So did I. - Sarah, Sayid... 174 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,105 Amy's throwing a baby shower, and none of were invited. 175 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,456 - Sayid, you started, like, two days ago. 176 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,545 - Well, I'm having a pool party this weekend, 177 00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,634 and you're not invited. 178 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,549 Sarah, Sayid, you coming to my pool party? 179 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,464 - I don't want to go. 180 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,074 I want to go to Amy's baby shower. 181 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,076 - She doesn't want us! 182 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,080 . 183 00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:12,127 - Why can't I just delete the registry? 184 00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,260 - Tap--tap the screen harder. That'll do it. 185 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,479 I have another idea, 186 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,263 and there's a chance you may not love it. 187 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,091 - Oh, I don't see how that could possibly be true. 188 00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:23,443 - What if you did have a baby shower? 189 00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,575 I'm not saying some big, elaborate party, okay? 190 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:28,360 Just, like, a quick ten-minute thing in the break room-- 191 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:31,494 no games, no belly touching, no one feels excluded, 192 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,453 and you get a bunch of gifts. 193 00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,237 - Well, obviously I like the gifts part. 194 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,108 The gifts part is not the problem. 195 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,719 - How much is that Pack 'n Play? 196 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:41,504 80? Eh, I guess that's not that bad. 197 00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,465 - Well, I mean, at this point, 198 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,423 it feels like people would be disappointed 199 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,990 if I didn't have the shower. 200 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,166 For sure. 201 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:54,299 - And, really, who am I to take a party away from them? 202 00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,127 - You're a good friend. 203 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,042 - Yeah. 204 00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,305 - Yes, now just reach out and touch the polar bear, okay? 205 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,742 You're not afraid. 206 00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,526 He just ate a seal so he's not gonna eat you. 207 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,312 - Yes! 208 00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,097 Ah, now try smiling, but only using 209 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:11,099 your eyes and ears. 210 00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:14,494 Yes, bitch! You are killing it. Oh! 211 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,147 Okay. 212 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,758 What do you think? 213 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,238 Wow. 214 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,501 These pictures make me jealous 215 00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,503 of everyone I've ever had sex with. 216 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,634 - Mm-hmm. 217 00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,810 Should we... take a couple more? 218 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:29,378 I'm very comfortable with nudity. 219 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,685 - It was just gonna be a small thing with family, 220 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,643 so I didn't want to tell anybody, 221 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,645 but then I realized 222 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,561 that you guys are like my second family. 223 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,042 - Aw, like the one that my dad has. 224 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,739 - Kind of. Yeah. 225 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,654 So, you know, it's just gonna be 226 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:47,309 a real quick little thing in the break room here-- 227 00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:52,357 just a fast, quick, easy, not-long shower. 228 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:54,142 - That sounds amazing. 229 00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:02,324 - Well, I've been getting into making fancy lady gloves lately. 230 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,195 I think I have one I can show you. 231 00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,762 - Oh, uh-- 232 00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:08,199 - For my gift, I don't think I can fit your entire name 233 00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:09,679 on a piece of rice, 234 00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:12,334 but I do think I can probably get an A on there. 235 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:15,206 - Or just give her three pieces of rice. 236 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,686 - No, guys, all of this sounds like 237 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:19,210 a lot of work for what is, again, 238 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,866 a small, fast, quick, little, not-big-deal shower. 239 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,347 So you guys can just grab something off the registry, 240 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,175 anything-- doesn't even matter what. 241 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:30,265 It's like, I think there's still a car seat on there. 242 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,615 - Here it is. 243 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:36,358 - Oh. - Just imagine your hand in it. 244 00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:39,100 - Just have it say, uh, "congrats on the baby." 245 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,711 I can do curses for you. 246 00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:47,108 - I-I think just, uh, what I said is good. 247 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,588 - Hey. 248 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,633 I heard Amy's having a baby shower. 249 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,157 - Ah, well, it's barely a shower. 250 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:56,247 It's a--it's a trickle. It's a baby trickle. 251 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,119 - That sounds wonderful. 252 00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:01,905 Hey, you know who likes baby showers? 253 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,429 Jerusha. 254 00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:05,866 - Yeah, well, you-- 255 00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:08,433 you guys should totally have one, you know. 256 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,913 - Yeah, it's just that we haven't 257 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,263 really had time to plan anything for the baby, 258 00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:13,917 'cause, you know, I've been in the weeds 259 00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,441 trying to set up the Nest Cam. 260 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,923 It keeps picking up a feed from another baby... 261 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,925 or a ghost. 262 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:24,841 - W-well, if you need help with the Nest Cam-- 263 00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,451 Yeah, it just-- 264 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:29,585 God, if there was another baby shower 265 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,761 that was happening already 266 00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:33,894 that we could piggyback on, 267 00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,331 that would be so... 268 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,159 great. 269 00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:40,291 - Yeah, well... 270 00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:41,815 And, believe me, I would say, 271 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,730 uh, you guys should join this one, but-- 272 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,688 - That's a great idea. Oh, my-- 273 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,559 Oh, my God. Jerush'a gonna be so happy. 274 00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:49,518 - Right, but it's--it's just, like, a quick, little, 275 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,302 ten-minute thing in the break room after work. 276 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,609 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, it's a double baby shower. 277 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,393 The break room's not big enough. 278 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,657 You're gonna need space for the chocolate fountain 279 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,485 and the balloon arch and the juice luge. 280 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:01,704 Hey, honey? - No, that-- 281 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,271 - Guess what. 282 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,533 - You're a young girl from Nazareth. 283 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,317 You're pregnant with Jesus, 284 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:08,232 and you're trying to make a go of it in a new city. 285 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:09,581 But you're lost! - Oh. 286 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,192 - You're lost in New York! 287 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,716 Let me know if this is too much! 288 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,326 - No, it's good! 289 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:16,893 I feel like I'm European! 290 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:22,464 - I'm having a really good time with you! 291 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:23,944 - Okay. 292 00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,728 This really has nothing to do with Christmas, 293 00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,556 but it's very important to me that we do this. 294 00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,866 I need you to sign this, uh... 295 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,698 - Garrett, please. This is a hot set! 296 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,569 - Oh, yeah. No, I know. It's just-- 297 00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:42,440 Yeah, I'm gonna-- I'm cool. 298 00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,661 - Garrett! 299 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,880 Oh, yeah. 300 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,359 No worries, I'm out of here. 301 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,883 Oh. 302 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:53,364 All right, well, I'll see y'all later. 303 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,627 Hang ten. 304 00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:58,848 - I felt guilty. 305 00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,676 You know I have too much empathy. 306 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,765 - Jerusha's friends are the creepiest. 307 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,462 Don't you remember the shrimp boil? 308 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:05,768 There was all that mouth kissing. 309 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,378 - There was. - Yeah. 310 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,554 - I can't believe this. 311 00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,731 I was pregnant, and no one threw me a baby shower, 312 00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:13,036 and now Jerusha gets one? 313 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,559 And she doesn't even work here. 314 00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,520 I could add your name to the sign. 315 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,435 - I mean, you already have the kid. 316 00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:21,915 She already has the kid, so she doesn't want to-- 317 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,308 - No. No. That'd be awesome. 318 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,789 I mean, it's barely a shower. 319 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,617 There aren't gonna be any games. 320 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,053 - Oh, I can handle the games. 321 00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,838 I know, like, a million good ones, 322 00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:34,579 and Bo knows a guy who owns a bunch of storks. 323 00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:35,885 I don't know if that's helpful, 324 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,844 but when they get drunk, it's hilarious. 325 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,062 - Super helpful. 326 00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,586 - Oh, this party's gonna be sick! 327 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,458 - Yeah! 328 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:46,069 . 329 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:49,159 [indistinct chatter, pop music playing over speakers] 330 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,989 - Look at all the food and different-colored cups. 331 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,296 This is really special. 332 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,950 - Yep, and all the people. 333 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:59,474 So many people. - Yeah, of course. 334 00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:00,867 I mean, well, between you 335 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,521 and Cheyenne and Jerusha and Diane. 336 00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:07,438 - You remember Diane from the shrimp boil. 337 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,136 I told her she could share our shower. 338 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,615 I hope that's okay. 339 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,487 Diane! 340 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,402 Yoo-hoo. - Amy! 341 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,665 Hi! - Hi. 342 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,188 Ooh. 343 00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,495 - Thank you so much for including me. 344 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:23,498 Oh, my gosh, look at your belly. 345 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,369 - Yep. - You've really popped. 346 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:26,414 - Mm-hmm. 347 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,937 - Let's see if I can find 348 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,330 your belly button on the first try. 349 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,158 - Oh. 350 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,203 - No. 351 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:36,076 - Do me next! - Oh! Yeah... 352 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,645 ♪ 353 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:45,172 - Placen-tacos. Caesarian salad. 354 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,304 Amniocen 355 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,219 - Why does every food need a theme name? 356 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,352 Baby Boy Wieners? Why even write that? 357 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,354 - It's better with no sign. 358 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,183 Check out this dad-to-be loading up on snacks. 359 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,011 Got to keep that energy up, right, know what I'm saying? 360 00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,708 - No idea what you're saying. 361 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:02,102 - Talking about J-Man here. Congrats on that baby, dog. 362 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,364 What's up? You know what? 363 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,279 Babies, they're the best, okay? 364 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,281 You can, like, sit 'em down and write stuff all over 'em. 365 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,978 They can't do nothing about it. 366 00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,545 - Oh, yeah. No, I'm not the-- 367 00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,373 It's--it's Adam. 368 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:15,028 - Nah, but I saw that clip of two boning on the Internet. 369 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,464 You know what I'm saying? Wow! 370 00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:17,900 - Yeah. 371 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,554 - She--she was already pregnant. 372 00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:22,731 - Whoa! What if you got her double pregnant? 373 00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,038 - Well, that's not really possible. 374 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,040 - Well, we don't know it's impossible. 375 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,259 - Yeah, that's true. We don't knowknow that 376 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,566 - I didn't get Amy double pregnant. 377 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,133 - I bet those babies are all up in Amy's stomach 378 00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,569 just fighting it out. 379 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,179 Like, "Yo, baby, I was here first." 380 00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,313 "Give me that freakin' umbilical cord, dog." 381 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,228 I'ma slurp it all up. 382 00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,276 - And we got it. 383 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,235 Great work, everyone. 384 00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:51,934 Darren, I will see you Friday night at Zippers. 385 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,676 Okay, what do you think? 386 00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:58,245 - Oh, wow. I look like a hot, glowing Stanley Tucci. 387 00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:00,247 - Yeah. - Sorry, redundant much, Dina. 388 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,032 I know right. 389 00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,251 - These are good, 390 00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:07,471 but I have one more really great idea. 391 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,517 Might seem a little crazy. 392 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,519 Do you trust me? 393 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,957 - We're so lucky that Darren had this harness 394 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,306 in his trunk, huh? 395 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,612 This is awesome. 396 00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,092 - Last but not least, 397 00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:21,964 I need to thank my Uber driver, Dmitri, 398 00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:25,185 for getting me here from Ponderosa so quickly. 399 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:29,102 If I could've given you six stars, I would have. 400 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:32,409 - That was just beautiful, Jerusha. 401 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,543 Huh? Yeah. 402 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,414 Now I'm gonna pass the mic around 403 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:40,374 so that everyone has a chance to say something. 404 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,593 Dmitri, would you like to kick us off? 405 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,508 - Actually, um... 406 00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:48,295 how about we keep this party train rolling, 407 00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:51,472 and next stop is the gifts. 408 00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:53,039 Choo-choo. 409 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:56,259 - Okay, somebody knows I love trains. 410 00:15:56,303 --> 00:16:00,742 But gifts are like the caboose. They always come at the... 411 00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,309 - End! 412 00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:06,356 But what if we shake it up and do it now? 413 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,838 Who wants to get crazy? 414 00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,492 - Amy. - Sayid. 415 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,842 - Mental illness is not a joke. 416 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,539 Jerusha's cousin is crazy. 417 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,238 - He ate all of his fingernails off. 418 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,675 - This is getting boring, yo. Sleep-sleep! 419 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,590 - Yeah, let's play games! 420 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,505 - Ah, seeing as you're husband-less, 421 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:28,161 do you want your partner to be Dmitri or 422 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,210 This is nice and humiliating. - I know. I'm sorry. 423 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,690 Could you spread your legs? 424 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,866 I'm having trouble getting in the-- 425 00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:41,348 uh, the undercarriage. 426 00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,480 I'll go around. - Yeah. 427 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,830 - Yeah, dip, dip, dip! That's right. That's right. 428 00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:49,051 My baby's getting all the nipples. What, what! 429 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,357 Yeah! 430 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,446 Jerusha, are you okay? 431 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,665 Can someone check on Jeru-- Jerusha can't swim! 432 00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:57,277 - Okay, there we go. 433 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,717 - It's peas and-- Oh, it's expired. 434 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,241 Uh, don't eat the baby food. The baby food is bad. 435 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,895 It's bad. 436 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:09,680 - There he is! 437 00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,726 Come one, Glenn! You can do it! 438 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,684 Whoo, Glenn, you won! 439 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:16,861 That's my big, strong daddy! - Oh, no, no, no, hell, no. 440 00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:19,560 You knocked over that cone back there, dog--I want a rematch. 441 00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:22,215 - No, no, no, it's--it's okay. Let's calm down. 442 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,347 It's just a game. Just a game, huh? 443 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,914 Just a game this, all right? 444 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,872 - Well--hey, Bo. 445 00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:30,353 Bo. 446 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:32,834 ['80s pop music playing over speakers] 447 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:36,620 ♪ 448 00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,580 - And Kevin knew they were gonna rob Mr. Duncan's toy store, 449 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,582 so we threw a rock through the window. 450 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,584 - I can't believe his mom forgot him again. 451 00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,760 Ugh. You know, some women just shouldn't be parents. 452 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,501 There, I said it. 453 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,111 Oh. 454 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,809 I need a new memory card. BRB. 455 00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:55,422 - ♪ And the bee drank tea - ♪ Yeah, yeah 456 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:59,165 - ♪ And the snake ate cake - ♪ Yeah, slither, slither 457 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,557 ♪ Boom, yeah 458 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,559 - This party is never going to end. 459 00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,431 And I don't even care about the gifts anymore. 460 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:07,608 I just want to get out of here. How do we get out of here? 461 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,698 - You could go into labor. - I've been trying. 462 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:13,135 - Excuse me, I have a delivery here. 463 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,443 - Oh, I didn't know we had a delivery scheduled for today. 464 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:19,446 Actually, that is my delivery. 465 00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:20,795 I have been waiting for that. 466 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:25,278 You haven't even had your caricature done 467 00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:26,366 by Diane yet. 468 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:29,151 - Oh, uh, yeah, I'm sure. 469 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,805 So I'll see you guys tomorrow. 470 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,328 Thank you, everyone, for coming to the party. 471 00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:33,808 It means so much. 472 00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,244 Jonah, if you could grab the gifts on the way out. 473 00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:36,680 We can go handle this in the warehouse. 474 00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,465 - Oh, that's okay. 475 00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,815 We can just take care of it right here. Did you order... 476 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,469 a baby? - Oh. 477 00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:45,646 No, I did not order-- 478 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,517 This was not me. - Yeah, I know, 479 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,911 'cause I ordered this baby stripper for Cheyenne, yo. 480 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:52,305 Amy, you got to Venmo me half of this, okay? 481 00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:56,439 Okay, that's--could you-- 482 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:01,444 . 483 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,012 [sultry hip-hop music playing over speakers] 484 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:05,840 - I still think this was a good idea. 485 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,320 - Mm-hmm. 486 00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,236 - I mean, I-I'm enjoying myself. - Oh, well, good. 487 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,107 I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. 488 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,369 - It was all worth it. 489 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:16,285 - Uh-oh, I think it's tummy time. 490 00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,026 - Uh-oh. - Oh, yes it is. 491 00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,506 - Oh, no, no-- - Now I'm having a good time. 492 00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,986 - I thought he was-- No, I'm--I'm good. Thanks. 493 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,466 You're--that's-- 494 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,513 - So how did the rest of the photo shoot go with Dina? 495 00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:29,080 - Sounds good. 496 00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:31,257 - Mateo! 497 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,302 Can you hear me? 498 00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:37,132 I trust you, but I really need to pee. 499 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,961 This quaint little village is about to get flooded. 500 00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:45,184 Oh, thank you, Sayid. 501 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,663 It is Amy with a Y, though. 502 00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:48,883 - It's not my fault. We just met. 503 00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:51,015 - That is very true. Yeah. 504 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:54,323 Uh, I will just-- I'll put this my other... 505 00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,238 wood. 506 00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,675 Okay, well, I think that was the last one, 507 00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:01,678 so thank you all so much for my gifts. 508 00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,376 It was really nice of you-- 509 00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:05,204 - Oh, wait, you forgot ours. 510 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,380 - Oh, uh, an embroidered badger. 511 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,946 Awesome. 512 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,383 - Oh, no, no, no, this is for Diane. 513 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:13,908 - Sorry, we just got you something off the registry. 514 00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,215 - Oh, my God. It's the car seat. 515 00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,521 - You can swap with Diane if you want. 516 00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:22,351 - No, no! No. No, no, I, um-- I actually really like this. 517 00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:25,093 Not that I didn't like this stuff, 518 00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,355 although some of it was garbage. 519 00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:27,922 Not, like, trash garbage. 520 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,228 Just, like, I can actually use this, 521 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,446 and I really, really love it. 522 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,361 - Oh, good. - Thank you so much. 523 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,233 Thank you. 524 00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:39,063 - So how long have you guys been dating? 525 00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,630 No 526 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,371 That's-- Uh-uh. 527 00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,243 That's not-- Why would you-- 528 00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,377 How did you know? 529 00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:51,467 - You just seem really happy for the first time in a while. 530 00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,556 - Huh. - I'm playing, man. 531 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,732 I saw you guys making out in the parking lot last week. 532 00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:58,257 Congratulations, though. 533 00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:02,391 [Dina grunting, train whistle blows] 534 00:21:02,435 --> 00:21:04,306 - Sandra! Sandra! 535 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,569 Oh, finally. Come get me down. 536 00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,268 Oh, thank God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 537 00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,227 Oh, no. 538 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,142 Are you serious? 539 00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:18,277 Oh, I respect you as much as I hate you right now. 540 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,453 Oh, Sandra! 39417

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