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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,343 _ 2 00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:02,695 You watch me. 3 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:04,257 I'll be back. 4 00:00:04,289 --> 00:00:06,226 - She is a monster. - I think she's brilliant. 5 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,328 She's calling him Lincoln. 6 00:00:08,492 --> 00:00:10,890 Congratulations, Great-Grandmother. 7 00:00:11,297 --> 00:00:12,500 These people are refugees, 8 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:14,395 which means they're allowed to seek asylum. 9 00:00:14,422 --> 00:00:16,632 My name is Viktor. Viktor Goraya. 10 00:00:16,991 --> 00:00:18,226 I'm transhuman. 11 00:00:18,514 --> 00:00:21,045 I'm going to escape this thing and become digital. 12 00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:23,554 - Come back to bed. - You have sex with your robot! 13 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,131 Darling! Darling! 14 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:31,417 America, they've fired a nuclear missile. 15 00:00:31,914 --> 00:00:33,210 [NUCLEAR EXPLOSION] 16 00:00:33,235 --> 00:00:34,414 What happens now?! 17 00:00:40,393 --> 00:00:45,393 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 18 00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:52,394 [ALARM RINGS IN DISTANCE] 19 00:00:54,778 --> 00:00:56,790 All right, stop! 20 00:00:58,217 --> 00:01:00,945 You can stop the alarm, thank you. 21 00:01:01,815 --> 00:01:03,195 Oh, God. I give up. 22 00:01:06,594 --> 00:01:08,078 Signor! 23 00:01:09,201 --> 00:01:11,671 You can stop the alarm, Signor! 24 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:14,175 - SIGNOR: Alarm stopped. - Thank you. 25 00:01:14,609 --> 00:01:17,373 The last time we had an alarm in this kitchen, we all thought 26 00:01:17,398 --> 00:01:20,250 the world was coming to an end, so that's quite enough. 27 00:01:20,275 --> 00:01:23,062 Do you wish to be reminded of the reason for the alarm? 28 00:01:24,394 --> 00:01:26,117 Oh, well, yes. 29 00:01:26,142 --> 00:01:27,178 I was coming to that. 30 00:01:27,406 --> 00:01:29,826 The alarm is a reminder for Edith Lyons... 31 00:01:29,851 --> 00:01:32,320 [SHE GASPS] Oh, yes! Yes! 32 00:01:32,345 --> 00:01:33,898 Call the family. 33 00:01:34,952 --> 00:01:37,233 Oh, I know. Calling family link. 34 00:01:37,258 --> 00:01:39,560 - Is that right? - Calling family link. 35 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,209 We're all here, Gran. We're waiting. 36 00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:43,504 It's a big moment. 37 00:01:43,529 --> 00:01:45,107 Some of us have got work to do. 38 00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:46,850 Happy as ever, Celeste. 39 00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:48,651 It's lovely to hear your voice, Muriel. 40 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:49,954 Where are the boys? Are they with us? 41 00:01:49,978 --> 00:01:51,068 Dan, are you on the link? 42 00:01:51,093 --> 00:01:53,164 Yeah, yeah, I'm here. I'm here. 43 00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:56,117 Hey! What are you doing? No, no, no, no! We're not... No! 44 00:01:56,142 --> 00:01:59,218 [LAUGHTER] Just don't! 45 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:01,125 I'm glad we haven't got vision. 46 00:02:01,336 --> 00:02:02,854 Are you with us, Rosie? 47 00:02:03,221 --> 00:02:06,329 I keep telling the boys we all used to watch TV on Saturday mornings. 48 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:09,369 - Doesn't exist any more. - Well, this is better than cartoons. 49 00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,393 Shush! She's on! 50 00:02:10,394 --> 00:02:12,603 ON TV: We can interview someone who was actually a witness 51 00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:17,229 to that terrible event on Hong Sha, political activist Edith Lyons. 52 00:02:17,557 --> 00:02:19,104 Tell me a little bit about that time. 53 00:02:19,186 --> 00:02:23,385 Oh. Six months ago, we all thought we were going to die... 54 00:02:23,783 --> 00:02:26,072 - That's what I just said. - Shush, Gran! 55 00:02:26,097 --> 00:02:28,402 ... and then we realised the day after Hiroshima, what happened... 56 00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:30,385 sun came up, people got out of bed, 57 00:02:30,386 --> 00:02:33,704 they went to work, a nuclear bomb exploded, 58 00:02:34,339 --> 00:02:36,681 and the West just carried on. 59 00:02:36,751 --> 00:02:40,417 And China backed down, but with 45,000 dead. 60 00:02:40,697 --> 00:02:43,409 And that's why we need these sanctions against America. 61 00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:46,853 They turned a trade war into an actual war. 62 00:02:46,978 --> 00:02:48,243 She doesn't understand a thing. 63 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,111 And who pays the price? Me. 64 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:51,175 Your auntie's an idiot. 65 00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:53,259 You were in Vietnam. Is that right? 66 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:58,204 For the explosion. Then we took a ship and we sailed towards Hong Sha. 67 00:02:58,229 --> 00:03:00,564 We took this footage with drones. 68 00:03:01,283 --> 00:03:02,626 Look, there were people! 69 00:03:02,759 --> 00:03:05,658 The bomb goes off and that's all they leave behind, is the shadow. 70 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,397 What's she like? Edith? 71 00:03:09,186 --> 00:03:10,221 Bit serious. 72 00:03:10,618 --> 00:03:14,033 - Yeah, but when you were kids. - Yeah. Serious even then. 73 00:03:15,123 --> 00:03:16,556 I don't know. She's older than I am. 74 00:03:17,139 --> 00:03:18,853 She was more friends with Stephen, really. 75 00:03:18,928 --> 00:03:20,681 We went Interrailing once, but 76 00:03:21,517 --> 00:03:24,397 she wanted to sleep on beaches and go to markets 77 00:03:24,398 --> 00:03:25,681 and find things to smoke. 78 00:03:26,108 --> 00:03:27,556 I just wanted a nice hotel. 79 00:03:28,061 --> 00:03:29,132 Is she rich? 80 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:31,689 I'd like to know. Why do you think? 81 00:03:32,198 --> 00:03:34,870 - Cos she's famous. - Not really. 82 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,784 This is Channel India. There must be five of us watching. 83 00:03:37,815 --> 00:03:39,159 She lives on a boat. 84 00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,112 Yeah, but there's like 15 onboard. Bet it's stinking. 85 00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:45,323 If I could ask, what's the range of your drones? 86 00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:46,410 What does that matter? 87 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,855 We estimate they've got a range of five miles, so... 88 00:03:50,324 --> 00:03:53,940 So you took your ship five miles off the coast of Hong Sha 89 00:03:53,965 --> 00:03:56,332 within two days of the explosion? 90 00:03:56,357 --> 00:03:58,782 - What? - She said 50 miles. 91 00:03:58,861 --> 00:04:00,127 She said she was safe. 92 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:03,581 Were you poisoned by radiation? 93 00:04:03,839 --> 00:04:06,089 I think you should focus on the victims within China itself. 94 00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:09,190 We calculate, at the very least, you were exposed to 95 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:12,245 one gray of radiation, so the damage has been done. 96 00:04:13,159 --> 00:04:16,745 You might have limited your lifespan to another 20 years. 97 00:04:17,229 --> 00:04:18,932 So? That could take me to 60. 98 00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:21,171 Then it's true. 99 00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:25,581 Yeah. 100 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,784 She tells us on TV?! 101 00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,550 Oh, my God, she's an idiot! 102 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:31,635 Gran, stop watching! Turn it off. 103 00:04:32,394 --> 00:04:36,689 - Signor, call Edith Lyons now. - End link. Calling Edith Lyons. 104 00:04:36,838 --> 00:04:39,463 Is she dying? Is Auntie Edith dying? 105 00:04:39,587 --> 00:04:41,299 Hm? Eventually. 106 00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:44,244 VOICE MAIL: This is Edith's phone. Leave a message. 107 00:04:45,057 --> 00:04:46,400 Edith, we're all watching. 108 00:04:46,877 --> 00:04:48,236 You promised me you were safe. 109 00:04:48,447 --> 00:04:50,401 Yeah, thanks very much, Edith. 110 00:04:50,402 --> 00:04:53,236 What a way to let us know, eh, on TV? 111 00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,963 Gran? You okay? 112 00:04:57,418 --> 00:05:00,158 Okay. That might be true, but never mind me. 113 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:03,760 Hong Sha Dao will have consequences for all of us, 114 00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:08,053 and it terrifies me because the world keeps getting hotter 115 00:05:08,078 --> 00:05:11,077 and faster and madder, and we don't pause. 116 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,089 We don't think. We don't learn. 117 00:05:13,114 --> 00:05:15,133 We just keep racing to the next disaster, 118 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,986 and I keep wondering what's next. 119 00:05:17,144 --> 00:05:19,627 Where are we going? When's it ever going to stop? 120 00:05:20,241 --> 00:05:23,248 President Pence has defied the United Nations. 121 00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:24,943 But we're making it worse. 122 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,158 The more we impose sanctions, the more America swings to the right. 123 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:30,413 Okay, Putin, president for life. 124 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,486 Xi Jinping, president for life. 125 00:05:32,511 --> 00:05:35,214 And now, Pence just a puppet. Trump is still in charge. 126 00:05:35,239 --> 00:05:37,925 These old men are in power forever. 127 00:05:40,102 --> 00:05:43,045 [CHEERING] 128 00:05:43,366 --> 00:05:44,948 Remind us what charities you've been playing for. 129 00:05:44,973 --> 00:05:47,565 Mine's a children's hospice in Coventry. 130 00:05:47,822 --> 00:05:51,167 And mine's to build a statue for all the horses killed in World War I. 131 00:05:51,776 --> 00:05:54,393 The bird population across Britain has fallen by 50%, 132 00:05:54,611 --> 00:05:56,947 because the insect population has fallen by 80%. 133 00:05:57,077 --> 00:05:58,884 That's 80% in 30 years. 134 00:06:02,107 --> 00:06:05,373 ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪ 135 00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:08,251 [CHEERING] 136 00:06:08,276 --> 00:06:12,156 So that's it. I'm out of work. My bosses are basically Americans. 137 00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:14,087 With all these sanctions, they're going to withdraw. 138 00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:16,115 - You'll get a payoff, though. - They're saying no. 139 00:06:16,139 --> 00:06:18,001 They're saying, "Take us to court. Tough!" 140 00:06:18,410 --> 00:06:21,470 I need to free up some capital, so we'll have to sell this house. 141 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,954 We're downsizing. We just need somewhere small. 142 00:06:23,979 --> 00:06:26,259 I'm not moving! I'm not! 143 00:06:28,478 --> 00:06:31,259 It's a phenomenon that's being called "Towntime". 144 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,385 The 2000s saw a huge move to work from home, 145 00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:36,525 but people at home basically eat and masturbate. 146 00:06:36,954 --> 00:06:39,385 So, Towntime calls for a return to the office job, 147 00:06:39,386 --> 00:06:40,805 Monday morning, 9am. 148 00:06:42,347 --> 00:06:47,766 It's my honour to declare the drone park officially open! 149 00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:49,399 [APPLAUSE, DRONES BUZZ] 150 00:06:49,711 --> 00:06:52,039 Good luck! Bon voyage! 151 00:06:52,672 --> 00:06:54,086 Don't go to my house! 152 00:06:54,272 --> 00:06:55,272 I'm not in! 153 00:06:56,119 --> 00:07:00,273 As MP to the Northern Powerhouse, I promise that for every job lost, 154 00:07:00,298 --> 00:07:01,609 there will be a job gained. 155 00:07:02,018 --> 00:07:05,053 This fleet of drones will be the pride of Manchester. 156 00:07:05,398 --> 00:07:06,433 As you can see... 157 00:07:06,434 --> 00:07:08,434 [SCREAMING] 158 00:07:10,493 --> 00:07:13,204 Oh, my God! Have you just seen? My MP's been decapitated! 159 00:07:13,422 --> 00:07:16,258 It's terrible news about Archie, 160 00:07:16,524 --> 00:07:18,985 but I can't help feeling it's symbolic. 161 00:07:19,492 --> 00:07:21,897 I hereby declare, with the greatest of respect, 162 00:07:21,930 --> 00:07:25,907 that I will be standing in the by-election for his constituency. 163 00:07:26,006 --> 00:07:27,093 Seriously? 164 00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:30,094 I'm watching her now, Viv Rook. 165 00:07:30,119 --> 00:07:31,632 So, she's going to be my MP? 166 00:07:31,657 --> 00:07:33,647 No, she isn't. I told you. 167 00:07:33,672 --> 00:07:35,624 Don't you dare vote for her. 168 00:07:35,805 --> 00:07:37,930 I will give you money not to vote. 169 00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:39,797 All right, then. That's a deal. 170 00:07:40,069 --> 00:07:41,977 Right, got to go. Pay me in cash. Bye! 171 00:07:42,844 --> 00:07:45,274 You know she owns us, don't you? Viv Rook? 172 00:07:46,178 --> 00:07:48,750 Now they've privatised housing, we're part of Stonerock Holdings. 173 00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,118 And on the board... 174 00:07:50,143 --> 00:07:51,143 [COMPUTER BEEPS] 175 00:07:53,763 --> 00:07:55,545 Oh, my God, she's my boss! 176 00:07:56,186 --> 00:07:57,998 This is my chance at last... 177 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:02,123 ... to honour my country and to serve it. 178 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:04,549 [KNOCK ON WINDOW] 179 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:10,032 Your greenhouse, it's not very safe. 180 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,111 [SHE CHUCKLES] 181 00:08:11,136 --> 00:08:13,408 People have been saying that for years. 182 00:08:13,916 --> 00:08:15,768 I got a man in to look at it, 183 00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,643 but part of it fell on his head. 184 00:08:17,712 --> 00:08:19,041 He never came back. 185 00:08:19,338 --> 00:08:20,682 You should be careful, though. 186 00:08:20,947 --> 00:08:24,588 Viktor, all of the money in this house was my father's. 187 00:08:25,494 --> 00:08:28,354 And he lost it in 1976. 188 00:08:28,729 --> 00:08:31,940 We haven't been able to afford this place ever since. 189 00:08:32,838 --> 00:08:35,330 Let it rot gently. 190 00:08:36,022 --> 00:08:37,260 I'll survive. 191 00:08:38,557 --> 00:08:41,619 Dan said about your parents... 192 00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:43,533 Yeah... 193 00:08:43,558 --> 00:08:47,072 They reported you to the police. 194 00:08:48,248 --> 00:08:49,955 In fairness, they thought it was their duty. 195 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:51,840 They're Christians. 196 00:08:52,541 --> 00:08:54,010 I mean, it genuinely hurts them. 197 00:08:54,406 --> 00:08:55,901 Do you forgive them? 198 00:08:57,217 --> 00:08:58,244 I have to try. 199 00:08:58,472 --> 00:08:59,476 Rubbish. 200 00:09:00,588 --> 00:09:01,885 They're disgusting. 201 00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:06,010 Your mother and father are disgusting people. Is that clear? 202 00:09:06,893 --> 00:09:08,971 I'm not without prejudice myself. 203 00:09:09,030 --> 00:09:10,596 I don't like Londoners. 204 00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:14,893 And I don't like people who wear sunglasses indoors. 205 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,484 But you... 206 00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:19,049 ... you're beautiful, 207 00:09:19,414 --> 00:09:23,033 in the eyes of Christ and in the eyes of myself. 208 00:09:24,479 --> 00:09:26,580 Is that clear? Have you got that? 209 00:09:27,289 --> 00:09:28,289 Yes. 210 00:09:28,428 --> 00:09:32,480 And you're very welcome here for the rest of your life. 211 00:09:34,722 --> 00:09:36,871 Oh, don't cry! 212 00:09:37,558 --> 00:09:39,542 You're not going to get a hug or anything. 213 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:42,707 Thank you. 214 00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:45,378 I thought this would be nice just the two of us. 215 00:09:45,613 --> 00:09:47,863 Hey, now that you're working, we can be ladies who lunch. 216 00:09:48,386 --> 00:09:50,847 - That's great. Thanks very much. - Can I take a drinks order? 217 00:09:51,855 --> 00:09:53,613 We'll just have a look. Give us a couple of minutes? 218 00:09:57,855 --> 00:10:00,746 I want you to explain. Your dad said you offered to pay rent, 219 00:10:00,771 --> 00:10:02,660 but there really is no need, honestly. 220 00:10:03,111 --> 00:10:04,996 I've got work until the autumn. 221 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:07,261 Height of Essence isn't pulling out until October, 222 00:10:07,286 --> 00:10:08,761 so there's no emergency. 223 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:12,339 We won't starve. And after that... 224 00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:15,699 Well... Well, maybe you can give me advice. 225 00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:19,894 When I went to university, they said accountancy was a job for life. 226 00:10:20,198 --> 00:10:21,972 But now, thanks to your lot, 227 00:10:22,217 --> 00:10:24,933 artificial intelligence can do my job in one second flat. 228 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:29,323 I'm going to be quite literally redundant in every way. 229 00:10:29,691 --> 00:10:31,503 - Will you call me? - Sorry? 230 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,494 - Will you call me? - You mean telephone you? 231 00:10:33,519 --> 00:10:34,534 - Yes. - When? 232 00:10:34,544 --> 00:10:35,544 Now. 233 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,917 - But you're sitting right here. - This is why I wanted to have lunch. 234 00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:40,370 Will you just phone me? Now? 235 00:10:42,723 --> 00:10:45,659 [PHONE RINGS] 236 00:10:47,206 --> 00:10:49,182 - Hello, Bethany speaking. - Hello. 237 00:10:49,596 --> 00:10:51,854 - Are you phoning for Bethany? - Yes. 238 00:10:51,924 --> 00:10:54,237 - What are you doing? - This is Bethany. Can you hear me? 239 00:10:54,296 --> 00:10:55,479 Well, you're right in front of me. 240 00:10:55,635 --> 00:10:57,245 But can you hear me down the phone? 241 00:11:00,705 --> 00:11:01,705 Oh, my gosh! 242 00:11:02,077 --> 00:11:04,072 This is me, on the phone. 243 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,042 I had it implanted. My hand is the phone. 244 00:11:07,682 --> 00:11:09,557 I can walk, and talk, 245 00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:12,362 cos I'm on the phone, the phone inside my hand. 246 00:11:12,932 --> 00:11:14,229 I am the phone. 247 00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:16,745 This is what phones are going to be from now on. 248 00:11:17,402 --> 00:11:18,964 I have integrated. 249 00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:21,815 Thank you for your call. 250 00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:29,807 Subdermal implants. 251 00:11:30,448 --> 00:11:33,253 They charge themselves with motion like a self-winding watch. 252 00:11:33,383 --> 00:11:34,870 And it's on the 22 network. 253 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:38,581 I get signal across 95% of UK mainland, 98 by next year. 254 00:11:38,659 --> 00:11:40,798 When I phoned you, it was ringing. 255 00:11:40,823 --> 00:11:42,120 You were ringing. 256 00:11:42,145 --> 00:11:43,220 That's the speaker. 257 00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:45,815 - So small! - Okay, but... 258 00:11:46,307 --> 00:11:47,596 When did you get this done? 259 00:11:47,698 --> 00:11:51,397 That course in Winchester? I had one finger done every night. 260 00:11:51,398 --> 00:11:53,721 I still need to choose a handset, to phone out. Look. 261 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:58,034 [PHONE RINGS] 262 00:11:58,059 --> 00:11:59,059 Hello? 263 00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:00,339 Hi! 264 00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:05,431 Okay. But, look, I can't believe you had surgery without telling me! 265 00:12:05,456 --> 00:12:07,782 Skinplants, not surgery. 266 00:12:07,807 --> 00:12:09,206 And I knew you'd be cross. 267 00:12:09,503 --> 00:12:11,751 But I'm 18, and you had that tattoo when you were 18, 268 00:12:11,776 --> 00:12:13,284 and it's the same sort of thing. 269 00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:15,714 And I wanted to ask you... 270 00:12:17,229 --> 00:12:19,503 - Will you do me a favour? - What? 271 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:23,397 - Will you tell Dad? - Oh, sweet... 272 00:12:23,398 --> 00:12:25,182 Please, will you tell Dad for me? 273 00:12:39,406 --> 00:12:40,430 Good evening. 274 00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:43,190 Good evening, sir. 275 00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:46,839 Can I get a litre of non milk? Thanks. 276 00:12:50,534 --> 00:12:52,159 - Anything else? - Er... 277 00:12:53,096 --> 00:12:54,370 Thought a shag might be nice. 278 00:12:54,596 --> 00:12:55,979 Nothing I can do about that, sir. 279 00:12:56,092 --> 00:12:57,092 Oh! 280 00:12:57,807 --> 00:13:00,065 Well, I'll just go home all alone, then. 281 00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:02,901 Well, you're a bit ugly, sir. 282 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,237 - I am. - It's very sad. 283 00:13:07,922 --> 00:13:08,922 Goodnight, sir. 284 00:13:10,387 --> 00:13:11,403 Goodnight. 285 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,508 [MOANING] 286 00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:24,518 - [THEY LAUGH] - All right... What are you doing? Ah! 287 00:13:24,543 --> 00:13:26,315 Get off! Get off! 288 00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:28,073 - Yeah. Go on, go on, go on. - You want it? 289 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,413 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... - [CRASHING] 290 00:13:30,438 --> 00:13:32,471 [HE LAUGHS] 291 00:13:32,616 --> 00:13:36,120 [MOANING, LAUGHTER] 292 00:13:37,073 --> 00:13:40,564 ON TV: And next month, it will be one year since Hong Sha Dao, 293 00:13:41,049 --> 00:13:43,405 and the shock waves continue around the world, 294 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:46,442 with instability still rocking the banking system. 295 00:14:00,354 --> 00:14:01,549 Thanks, but I'm not stopping. 296 00:14:01,682 --> 00:14:04,917 I haven't got long. I'm supposed to be on lunch duty, so... 297 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,084 Well, there it is. 298 00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:10,956 Yeah. Didn't even miss it. It only cost 20 quid, that. 299 00:14:10,981 --> 00:14:13,564 You're the only man I know with ten different watches. 300 00:14:13,589 --> 00:14:15,706 - You don't wear the same shirt... - BOTH: ... all the time, do you? 301 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,831 So how are things? Okay? 302 00:14:21,789 --> 00:14:24,151 Yeah, not bad. Nice and busy. 303 00:14:26,018 --> 00:14:28,909 What about you? Hm? How is he? The boy? 304 00:14:29,311 --> 00:14:31,206 He's only six years younger. 305 00:14:31,231 --> 00:14:33,378 - That is so hot! - Oh, stop it. 306 00:14:40,374 --> 00:14:43,385 I just thought if you could sign those papers. 307 00:14:43,386 --> 00:14:45,421 We're trying to get Viktor this Leave to Remain thing. 308 00:14:45,422 --> 00:14:47,373 And if I'm divorced, it might help. 309 00:14:47,374 --> 00:14:50,393 I was honestly bringing you the watch... Dan! 310 00:14:50,394 --> 00:14:54,401 You shat on me in front of everyone. Remember? 311 00:14:54,402 --> 00:14:57,414 So I don't have the slightest wish to stay married to you, OK? 312 00:14:58,426 --> 00:14:59,438 I'll sign it. 313 00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:02,422 Sorry. 314 00:15:07,596 --> 00:15:08,869 It's almost a year ago now. 315 00:15:08,894 --> 00:15:10,119 Well, two weeks' time. 316 00:15:11,147 --> 00:15:13,299 Gran's still insisting on a party. 317 00:15:13,422 --> 00:15:14,885 That's one thing I won't miss. 318 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,470 Standing there freezing politely. 319 00:15:17,862 --> 00:15:20,587 I keep telling her, it's not just her birthday weekend now, 320 00:15:20,612 --> 00:15:23,182 it's commemorating 40,000 dead. 321 00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:25,002 - And it's a barbecue. - Yeah, I know. 322 00:15:25,027 --> 00:15:26,580 [THEY LAUGH] 323 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:29,980 [HE LAUGHS] 324 00:15:31,916 --> 00:15:33,744 So what's the status now then, hmm? 325 00:15:34,006 --> 00:15:36,401 HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor. My name is Viktor. 326 00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:40,810 Still classified as an asylum seeker. That hasn't changed. 327 00:15:41,088 --> 00:15:42,369 What, and he's allowed to live with you? 328 00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:43,916 Yep. 329 00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:46,182 Mm-hm. 330 00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:50,056 The house is a mess now. It would drive you mad. 331 00:15:51,224 --> 00:15:52,650 HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor! 332 00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,353 It's still tough. He's not allowed a job or anything. 333 00:15:57,378 --> 00:16:00,377 I mean, he's working part time to stop him going mad, 334 00:16:00,402 --> 00:16:01,666 but it's all cash in hand. 335 00:16:01,799 --> 00:16:03,695 He's got a degree in economics, 336 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,775 but he's stuck working in the petrol station. 337 00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:08,619 I tell you what, though. 338 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,252 Do you know what the good thing is? 339 00:16:11,783 --> 00:16:13,892 He gets free pasties when the sell-by date is up. 340 00:16:14,042 --> 00:16:16,314 - They give them away! - Oh, you love pasties. 341 00:16:16,339 --> 00:16:19,799 I do! I get free pasties. 342 00:16:24,159 --> 00:16:27,572 Well, look. Um, I am glad you're happy. 343 00:16:29,846 --> 00:16:30,913 Thank you. 344 00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:32,439 Really, I am. 345 00:16:34,899 --> 00:16:35,903 Thanks. 346 00:16:45,283 --> 00:16:49,150 Hiya. Sorry, my app's frozen. It's pump number two. Thanks. 347 00:16:49,347 --> 00:16:50,371 Uh-huh. 348 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,510 £120. Thank you. 349 00:16:57,124 --> 00:16:58,273 Anything else, sir? 350 00:16:58,426 --> 00:16:59,984 No, that's everything. Thanks. 351 00:17:21,159 --> 00:17:24,158 This weekend will be marked by services up and down the country 352 00:17:24,183 --> 00:17:28,070 to remember Hong Sha Dao on the first anniversary of the explosion. 353 00:17:28,453 --> 00:17:30,960 And American embassies have been surrounded by crowds 354 00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:33,976 protesting at the events of this time last year. 355 00:17:34,061 --> 00:17:36,671 Campaigning will be suspended for the day. 356 00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:39,921 My thoughts and prayers 357 00:17:40,402 --> 00:17:41,976 are with Beijing. 358 00:17:43,936 --> 00:17:46,109 Hey! Happy Birthday. 359 00:17:46,311 --> 00:17:47,826 Although technically it's not till tomorrow, 360 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,827 so if you don't survive the night, I'll have it back! 361 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:54,779 Now then, sweetheart, if your mum and dad want to move house, 362 00:17:54,804 --> 00:17:57,054 you can always come and live here, can't you? 363 00:17:57,116 --> 00:17:58,820 Who loves you? I do. 364 00:17:58,991 --> 00:18:01,039 Oh, well, that helps enormously. Well done. 365 00:18:02,136 --> 00:18:03,679 Happy birthday, Muriel. 366 00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,601 Did you hear, Bethany got promoted? 367 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,048 - I didn't know that. - Isn't that good? 368 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:10,188 Marvellous, whatever that job is. 369 00:18:10,276 --> 00:18:11,376 She's data mining. 370 00:18:11,618 --> 00:18:14,110 Yeah, I know what it is, but I don't know what it is! 371 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,433 I have a rule. 372 00:18:15,852 --> 00:18:18,297 No-one is allowed to stare at my daughter's hand. 373 00:18:18,415 --> 00:18:20,665 Beth, show me your hand. Right. Hand down again. 374 00:18:20,727 --> 00:18:22,977 That's it's. I've had enough of people staring. 375 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,243 It turns out the calls are twice the price. 376 00:18:25,268 --> 00:18:26,399 You didn't ask about that. 377 00:18:27,493 --> 00:18:28,836 Where's Rosie? She's not here yet? 378 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:32,071 She said she'd be late. Lincoln had a bit of a tum. 379 00:18:32,501 --> 00:18:35,954 Now I looked and looked and looked for chocolate, 380 00:18:36,096 --> 00:18:38,183 but you just can't find it any more. 381 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:42,110 I thought, this year, no TV. 382 00:18:42,532 --> 00:18:44,417 Even when the boys arrive. 383 00:18:44,743 --> 00:18:49,727 TV off, because that thing scared us to death last year. 384 00:18:50,132 --> 00:18:52,852 I mean, let's be honest, it was terrifying. 385 00:18:53,284 --> 00:18:55,836 I actually thought I could see you all perish. 386 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,961 My own family, right in front of me... 387 00:18:59,719 --> 00:19:03,618 so I might have said some silly things. 388 00:19:05,418 --> 00:19:08,127 I know I did and I'm sorry. 389 00:19:08,441 --> 00:19:09,854 I'm sorry too. 390 00:19:18,245 --> 00:19:22,791 Well, now, maybe you won't need to stay away for a whole year. 391 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,010 We didn't do it on purpose. 392 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,479 Been busy, that's all. 393 00:19:26,608 --> 00:19:29,463 Oh. Stephen said not so busy. 394 00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:34,018 What about the house? Is there any news? 395 00:19:34,358 --> 00:19:38,034 Um, that Mr Yamagata liked it, so I think we've found a buyer. 396 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,704 Hey, I was going to ask, do you think I should move my money 397 00:19:40,729 --> 00:19:42,245 with all this fuss about the banks? 398 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:44,277 Er, financial advice off me costs £300 an hour, 399 00:19:44,302 --> 00:19:45,353 thank you very much. 400 00:19:45,707 --> 00:19:47,574 Nah, you should be all right. You haven't got 85 grand, have you? 401 00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:49,256 God, no. 402 00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:50,409 That'd be nice. 403 00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:52,934 Anything less than 85, you're insured by the government. 404 00:19:53,252 --> 00:19:54,867 - you should be fine. - I said that'd be nice, 405 00:19:54,892 --> 00:19:56,181 not because I want him for his money. 406 00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:59,392 Just the sex. Endless sex. 407 00:19:59,572 --> 00:20:01,656 - Thank you. - Once you've been loved by a Lyons. 408 00:20:01,681 --> 00:20:02,791 Oh, my God! 409 00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:05,275 Is it bad, though, for the banks? 410 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,413 It's these sanctions against America. It's ridiculous. 411 00:20:07,438 --> 00:20:09,876 Might as well take out sanctions against ourselves. 412 00:20:10,454 --> 00:20:13,993 We are American. Our business is American, our culture's American. 413 00:20:14,229 --> 00:20:15,673 We're certainly not European, are we? 414 00:20:15,717 --> 00:20:17,197 - [PHONE VIBRATES] - Oh. 415 00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:19,907 Oh. Here we go, Gran. 416 00:20:19,979 --> 00:20:22,381 - That's Rosie. - Right now, Muriel. Put that down. 417 00:20:22,406 --> 00:20:24,393 Let's go out and see her. Come on. 418 00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:27,814 She knows her way in. She's here every week. 419 00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,198 - Come on! Let's go and say hello. - Let's go, let's go. 420 00:20:30,683 --> 00:20:31,687 [HE WHISTLES] 421 00:20:33,042 --> 00:20:35,666 - Hi, Gran! - Hello. 422 00:20:36,205 --> 00:20:37,405 Here we are, then. 423 00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:38,650 Surprise! 424 00:20:39,687 --> 00:20:41,758 [THEY LAUGH] 425 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,794 Oh! 426 00:20:42,819 --> 00:20:43,819 Aw! 427 00:20:44,387 --> 00:20:48,260 Oh, you silly girl! 428 00:20:48,285 --> 00:20:49,557 Oh! 429 00:20:50,585 --> 00:20:53,033 Your mother should be here. 430 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,033 Careful, she's radioactive! 431 00:21:02,639 --> 00:21:03,674 All right. 432 00:21:03,699 --> 00:21:05,723 [SHE LAUGHS] 433 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,327 We can't just have any old barbecue, not with Edith home. 434 00:21:11,673 --> 00:21:15,385 - Let's make it nice and special. - Oh, cos Edith's special. 435 00:21:15,410 --> 00:21:17,743 She's so special. We are just dirt. 436 00:21:17,768 --> 00:21:20,413 I love Edith more than anything in the world don't you? 437 00:21:20,695 --> 00:21:22,502 You'll get a clip in a minute. 438 00:21:24,353 --> 00:21:27,752 Seven years. It's been ages. Does it feel weird being back? 439 00:21:27,892 --> 00:21:29,041 Little bit, yeah. 440 00:21:30,006 --> 00:21:31,081 Viktor's nice. 441 00:21:31,762 --> 00:21:32,762 Sexy! 442 00:21:33,580 --> 00:21:36,236 Bethany's a bit odd. You know she wants be a robot. 443 00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:39,469 Mmm. Am I all right, staying at yours? 444 00:21:39,611 --> 00:21:41,182 Cos Gran says I can stay here. 445 00:21:41,207 --> 00:21:43,218 Oh, my God! You'd die in this place. 446 00:21:43,243 --> 00:21:45,338 Course you can. You can get to know the boys. 447 00:21:45,881 --> 00:21:47,775 - How long for? - Dunno. 448 00:21:48,627 --> 00:21:49,955 Not sailing off on a mission? 449 00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:54,916 Er, yeah. It's all gone a bit sour. It's so stupid. 450 00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:57,916 It's that footage we took at Hong Sha. 451 00:21:57,941 --> 00:21:59,572 People think we sold it for lots of money. 452 00:21:59,597 --> 00:22:01,385 - Do they? - That's terrible. 453 00:22:01,557 --> 00:22:04,947 Ah. Trouble is, some people on the boat think we should, 454 00:22:04,972 --> 00:22:07,088 so I might just step away and have a think. 455 00:22:08,132 --> 00:22:11,799 And it's weird. You know this radiation... thing. 456 00:22:13,084 --> 00:22:15,091 - You feeling all right, though? - Yeah. 457 00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,282 But one day, the clock's ticking, 458 00:22:17,307 --> 00:22:19,405 maybe it's time I did something with my life instead of shouting. 459 00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,455 Just... not sure what. 460 00:22:22,525 --> 00:22:25,283 So come on, Edith. Tell me stories of the high seas. 461 00:22:25,308 --> 00:22:27,603 What's the best place you think you've been? 462 00:22:27,628 --> 00:22:29,149 Oh, don't do that! 463 00:22:29,174 --> 00:22:30,429 It's a bit like an interview, Gran. 464 00:22:30,713 --> 00:22:33,736 Well, I don't know where to start. You've been away for so long. 465 00:22:33,846 --> 00:22:37,049 You see online? The North Pole melted. Like, it's gone. 466 00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:41,322 - You should tell people about that. - Well, yes, I could but I did. 467 00:22:41,386 --> 00:22:42,580 There's not much point any more. 468 00:22:43,081 --> 00:22:44,298 Oh, don't say that. 469 00:22:44,517 --> 00:22:46,572 No, but really, no, like, 470 00:22:47,024 --> 00:22:49,694 we keep saying you've got ten more years to sort out climate change, 471 00:22:49,719 --> 00:22:51,405 you've got ten more years to sort out flooding, 472 00:22:51,406 --> 00:22:53,421 you've got ten more years to sort out the rainforest. 473 00:22:53,422 --> 00:22:55,757 We've been saying that for 30 years. But it's too late. 474 00:22:55,782 --> 00:22:57,219 We've run out of time. Everyone knows it. 475 00:22:57,426 --> 00:23:01,929 You can recycle and campaign and go on marches. 476 00:23:01,954 --> 00:23:06,508 We are going to flood and burn and starve. 477 00:23:07,398 --> 00:23:10,147 And we won't die. I'm not saying that the human race is gonna 478 00:23:10,172 --> 00:23:13,015 carry on, living on plateaus. 479 00:23:13,151 --> 00:23:14,210 [SHE LAUGHS] 480 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:18,147 Like shepherds, little villages, maybe with a computer in a hut, 481 00:23:18,663 --> 00:23:21,085 you can go and visit once a week, and then go back 482 00:23:21,182 --> 00:23:23,913 to growing your little patch of corn. 483 00:23:24,178 --> 00:23:27,818 You might be digging out some rocks and singing Elvis to yourself, 484 00:23:27,843 --> 00:23:29,857 or the Beatles, but you won't know who they are any more. 485 00:23:29,882 --> 00:23:31,999 Just folk songs from long ago. 486 00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:35,991 - So nice to have you back. - [THEY LAUGH] 487 00:23:36,016 --> 00:23:37,764 Edith! Don't listen, kids. 488 00:23:38,530 --> 00:23:40,077 I'm saying, let's have fun. 489 00:23:40,366 --> 00:23:42,210 Sod it. Enjoy it now. 490 00:23:42,235 --> 00:23:43,983 Cos... I... 491 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,932 ... got... this... 492 00:23:48,213 --> 00:23:49,727 ... in Japan! 493 00:23:49,752 --> 00:23:52,425 Slightly under the counter it's that new synthetic alcohol. 494 00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:55,446 Oh, my God! It's supposed to be lethal. 495 00:23:55,471 --> 00:23:56,790 Yeah, but that's the point. 496 00:23:56,815 --> 00:23:58,612 That it's designed to cut out all the by-products, 497 00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:01,424 so you just get completely plastered with no hangover. 498 00:24:01,807 --> 00:24:03,729 - Does it work? - Well, Celeste, 499 00:24:03,754 --> 00:24:05,112 there's only one way to find out! 500 00:24:05,137 --> 00:24:08,120 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 501 00:24:08,635 --> 00:24:10,838 ♪ He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink ♪ 502 00:24:10,863 --> 00:24:13,010 ♪ He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink ♪ 503 00:24:13,261 --> 00:24:15,353 ♪ He sings the songs that remind him of the good times ♪ 504 00:24:15,378 --> 00:24:17,924 ♪ He sings the songs that remind him of the better times ♪ 505 00:24:18,186 --> 00:24:21,014 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 506 00:24:21,143 --> 00:24:22,896 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 507 00:24:22,921 --> 00:24:25,417 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 508 00:24:25,442 --> 00:24:27,441 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 509 00:24:27,442 --> 00:24:30,184 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 510 00:24:30,209 --> 00:24:32,204 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 511 00:24:32,229 --> 00:24:34,691 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 512 00:24:34,950 --> 00:24:36,730 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 513 00:24:37,691 --> 00:24:45,877 ♪ Oh, Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy ♪ 514 00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:48,674 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 515 00:24:48,699 --> 00:24:50,453 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 516 00:24:50,454 --> 00:24:53,405 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 517 00:24:53,406 --> 00:24:55,184 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 518 00:24:55,209 --> 00:24:57,874 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 519 00:24:57,899 --> 00:24:59,867 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 520 00:24:59,892 --> 00:25:02,397 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 521 00:25:02,422 --> 00:25:04,405 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 522 00:25:04,406 --> 00:25:07,389 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 523 00:25:07,390 --> 00:25:09,117 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 524 00:25:09,142 --> 00:25:11,592 ♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ 525 00:25:11,617 --> 00:25:13,289 ♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪ 526 00:25:13,314 --> 00:25:14,329 ♪ I get... ♪ 527 00:25:34,268 --> 00:25:37,248 [SHE SNORES LIGHTLY] 528 00:25:43,414 --> 00:25:45,227 I think that alcohol needs a bit of work. 529 00:25:49,170 --> 00:25:51,985 I looked it up like, the wind direction 530 00:25:52,610 --> 00:25:54,227 in the days after Hong Sha, 531 00:25:54,979 --> 00:25:57,657 and your angle of approach, fallout patterns, and things. 532 00:26:02,084 --> 00:26:03,899 I think you got a bigger dose than you said. 533 00:26:08,953 --> 00:26:10,594 I think you might have ten years. 534 00:26:19,835 --> 00:26:21,344 Did you know you can live forever? 535 00:26:27,026 --> 00:26:32,065 [HE SPEAKS HIS OWN LANGUAGE] 536 00:26:32,547 --> 00:26:34,282 That's right, darling. 537 00:26:34,571 --> 00:26:36,016 What's he saying? 538 00:26:36,131 --> 00:26:38,844 [HE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY] 539 00:26:39,127 --> 00:26:40,206 [PHONE CHIMES] 540 00:26:40,622 --> 00:26:42,632 [HE GROANS] 541 00:26:43,049 --> 00:26:45,425 Ooh, no, no! You'll drop it. 542 00:26:45,450 --> 00:26:46,961 It... Give it here. 543 00:26:47,922 --> 00:26:49,157 Don't move. 544 00:26:49,738 --> 00:26:50,844 Stay there. 545 00:26:51,797 --> 00:26:52,801 Oh! 546 00:26:54,485 --> 00:26:56,125 Well, that's got to be fake. 547 00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:57,797 Fake news. 548 00:26:58,237 --> 00:26:59,758 Bang on midnight. 549 00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:02,438 "Message from the Home Office." 550 00:27:02,555 --> 00:27:04,188 As if they'd text. 551 00:27:04,438 --> 00:27:09,180 "Our records show you may not have leave to remain in the UK." 552 00:27:09,703 --> 00:27:12,305 You should tell your friends that's not funny. 553 00:27:14,108 --> 00:27:15,719 Black coffee, I think. 554 00:27:16,292 --> 00:27:19,353 I'll see you next week. And take care. 555 00:27:19,386 --> 00:27:21,282 I'm not sure you're fit to drive. 556 00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:25,617 The focus group can officially declare alcosynth does not work! 557 00:27:27,633 --> 00:27:29,443 Oh, God, I feel bad! 558 00:27:30,055 --> 00:27:31,789 And sort out that text. 559 00:27:32,053 --> 00:27:35,546 Tell them it should be illegal using the words Home Office like that. 560 00:27:35,571 --> 00:27:36,852 Will do. See you, Gran. 561 00:27:45,065 --> 00:27:46,578 - I think it's real. - Yeah. 562 00:27:48,414 --> 00:27:49,438 I looked online. 563 00:27:49,892 --> 00:27:51,797 There's many people saying text at midnight. 564 00:27:52,265 --> 00:27:55,078 Well, we've been privatised with the same system date changes 565 00:27:55,103 --> 00:27:57,491 at midnight, automated texts go ping. 566 00:27:57,570 --> 00:27:58,574 It's real. 567 00:28:00,308 --> 00:28:01,308 Don't worry. 568 00:28:01,897 --> 00:28:03,053 I'll phone Yvonne. 569 00:28:04,522 --> 00:28:06,669 Honestly, I'm fine. 570 00:28:06,694 --> 00:28:08,544 Don't go to any fuss. I can sleep on a settee. 571 00:28:08,569 --> 00:28:11,417 No, there's plenty of space, cos Lincoln, if you put 572 00:28:11,418 --> 00:28:13,437 your things in Lee's room, then you two can share 573 00:28:13,438 --> 00:28:15,397 and if you're really, really good, 574 00:28:15,846 --> 00:28:18,366 we could get bunk beds. I'm having the top bunk! 575 00:28:18,608 --> 00:28:20,600 Right, go and put your clothes in that bottom drawer. 576 00:28:21,049 --> 00:28:23,624 Lee, go and make some room, five minutes. 577 00:28:24,295 --> 00:28:25,572 Why do kids love bunk beds? 578 00:28:25,597 --> 00:28:27,367 Knock knock! Only me. 579 00:28:27,406 --> 00:28:29,252 Careful, got sore heads. 580 00:28:29,485 --> 00:28:31,369 My sister tried to poison us last night. 581 00:28:31,788 --> 00:28:33,770 This is Edith. This is Lesley from down the hall. 582 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:35,942 - Ah, the missing sister. - Hello. 583 00:28:35,967 --> 00:28:37,264 Aren't you supposed to be dying? 584 00:28:38,238 --> 00:28:41,241 Well, I mean, aren't we all, in the end? 585 00:28:41,266 --> 00:28:42,522 Well, you look good on it! 586 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,365 I just got that coupon. 587 00:28:44,522 --> 00:28:45,764 It's good till Friday. 588 00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,092 I can't stop. I'm on the 3.15. 589 00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:49,381 See you tonight, though, yeah? 590 00:28:49,406 --> 00:28:50,623 Yeah. And that's Poppy. 591 00:28:51,147 --> 00:28:53,053 She's six months old, aren't you, Poppy? 592 00:28:53,078 --> 00:28:54,078 Hello! Hello. 593 00:28:55,032 --> 00:28:56,083 I'll leave you to it. 594 00:28:56,289 --> 00:28:58,225 Good luck. Hope you don't die. 595 00:28:58,441 --> 00:29:00,076 Thanks! I'll do my best. 596 00:29:02,686 --> 00:29:04,014 That was her. That's Poppy. 597 00:29:04,182 --> 00:29:05,912 - What do you mean? - I told you. Poppy... 598 00:29:06,194 --> 00:29:07,700 Don't you read any of your e-mails? 599 00:29:07,725 --> 00:29:09,920 The little girl. The Poppy. That was her. 600 00:29:10,756 --> 00:29:14,457 So they did a scan and Poppy had a gap in her spine, just like me, 601 00:29:14,896 --> 00:29:17,225 - so they went in and fixed it. - In the womb? 602 00:29:17,250 --> 00:29:18,443 Yeah. It's amazing, isn't it? 603 00:29:18,569 --> 00:29:19,592 They've been doing that for years 604 00:29:19,617 --> 00:29:21,717 but now they can grow the nerve tissue. 605 00:29:21,791 --> 00:29:24,834 They can cultivate it inside and fix it completely. 606 00:29:25,458 --> 00:29:27,654 I mean, she's only six months, we'll see how it goes, 607 00:29:27,679 --> 00:29:29,254 but really, that's it... 608 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:32,538 spina bifida cured, almost. 609 00:29:33,143 --> 00:29:35,811 And is that... okay? 610 00:29:36,414 --> 00:29:39,014 It's brilliant. I mean, look at her. She's gorgeous. 611 00:29:39,492 --> 00:29:42,319 But she was gorgeous before. 612 00:29:43,608 --> 00:29:44,866 Gives me the shivers a bit. 613 00:29:45,248 --> 00:29:49,382 Can't say that to Lesley, cos once they start fixing people, 614 00:29:50,083 --> 00:29:53,126 where do they stop? Too tall? Too short? 615 00:29:53,503 --> 00:29:54,741 Do they want to fix me? 616 00:29:55,764 --> 00:29:57,944 I think I'm brilliant. I don't want fixing. 617 00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:01,514 How much did it cost? 618 00:30:02,772 --> 00:30:03,888 Well, that's the thing. 619 00:30:03,913 --> 00:30:05,655 She was on the programme, so it was free. 620 00:30:06,171 --> 00:30:08,546 But the NHS can't afford stuff like that. 621 00:30:09,112 --> 00:30:10,663 So who's going to get fixed? 622 00:30:11,214 --> 00:30:12,554 Only the billionaires. 623 00:30:13,988 --> 00:30:14,988 So... 624 00:30:16,154 --> 00:30:18,771 ... you're worried about people you don't like, buying something 625 00:30:18,796 --> 00:30:19,796 you don't want. 626 00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:23,749 Yeah, I think. Is that right? 627 00:30:24,452 --> 00:30:26,425 - I don't know. - [LAUGHS] 628 00:30:26,426 --> 00:30:28,430 God, the world got complicated! 629 00:30:32,398 --> 00:30:33,772 Hester Babatunde? 630 00:30:37,389 --> 00:30:40,161 The phrase to watch out for is "live discreetly". 631 00:30:40,253 --> 00:30:42,802 Technically, homosexuality isn't illegal in Ukraine, 632 00:30:42,827 --> 00:30:45,401 so if they say you can live discreetly, they can say you're safe 633 00:30:45,402 --> 00:30:46,421 to be returned. 634 00:30:46,756 --> 00:30:49,061 You mean, I should be not discreet with this? 635 00:30:49,086 --> 00:30:50,123 Indiscreet. 636 00:30:50,577 --> 00:30:53,381 It's not the gay thing. You got out because they registered 637 00:30:53,382 --> 00:30:55,139 - him as a dissident. - Unofficially. 638 00:30:55,164 --> 00:30:56,983 We can't prove that, so I'm going to use everything. 639 00:30:58,406 --> 00:30:59,467 I could wear a dress! 640 00:30:59,912 --> 00:31:00,912 That would help! 641 00:31:01,858 --> 00:31:02,944 Viktor Goraya? 642 00:31:03,597 --> 00:31:05,284 - Right. - You got everything? 643 00:31:05,722 --> 00:31:06,722 Yep. 644 00:31:08,312 --> 00:31:09,336 Good luck. 645 00:31:35,061 --> 00:31:37,191 [HE EXHALES] 646 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,394 [HE EXHALES] 647 00:31:53,448 --> 00:31:55,206 They've detained him. I'm sorry. 648 00:31:55,231 --> 00:31:58,066 I need to get back to the office. I can make an appeal by six o'clock. 649 00:31:58,225 --> 00:32:00,256 - Sorry, where is he? - He's been detained. 650 00:32:00,714 --> 00:32:02,869 Right, so where is he now? 651 00:32:02,894 --> 00:32:05,073 Back there in a holding room but then they're going to move him. 652 00:32:05,098 --> 00:32:07,331 What do you mean, detained? Detained for how long? 653 00:32:07,356 --> 00:32:10,058 Well, he's been detained that's it. That's why I need to get back. 654 00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:13,004 - You mean he's been arrested? - Well, no. But in effect, yes. 655 00:32:13,029 --> 00:32:14,381 What happened? They did what? 656 00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:16,901 They say he's been working at a petrol station for money, 657 00:32:16,926 --> 00:32:18,184 so he's broken his conditions. 658 00:32:18,209 --> 00:32:19,646 I'm not even going to ask you if that's true. 659 00:32:19,671 --> 00:32:20,738 I'm just going back to work. 660 00:32:20,763 --> 00:32:22,076 Okay, so where is he now? 661 00:32:22,101 --> 00:32:24,377 He's in a holding room, but then they're taking him to Three Bridges. 662 00:32:24,402 --> 00:32:25,878 - That's near Gatwick. - Taking him away? 663 00:32:25,903 --> 00:32:26,903 - Yeah. - Where to? 664 00:32:26,928 --> 00:32:28,667 It's a centre called the Three Bridges, near Gatwick. 665 00:32:28,692 --> 00:32:30,592 Right, okay, so, well can I see him now? 666 00:32:30,819 --> 00:32:32,397 He hasn't gone already, has he? Can I see him? 667 00:32:32,398 --> 00:32:34,699 - They won't allow it. - But I work for the council. 668 00:32:34,856 --> 00:32:37,098 I'm not just anyone. I'm in housing, I move people all the time. 669 00:32:37,123 --> 00:32:39,168 I know the system. I'm allowed to see him. 670 00:32:39,193 --> 00:32:41,963 Daniel, you can't. Listen to me. Trust me. Don't piss them off. 671 00:32:41,988 --> 00:32:44,035 Okay, so what happens? What are they going to do? 672 00:32:44,060 --> 00:32:45,981 - They want to deport him. - No, but they tortured him. 673 00:32:47,038 --> 00:32:50,301 You know, in the Ukraine they tortured him. 674 00:32:50,865 --> 00:32:52,863 So where is he? 675 00:32:52,926 --> 00:32:55,215 They're taking him to a place called the Three Bridges Centre, 676 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,240 in London. 677 00:32:56,265 --> 00:32:58,676 It's just outside Gatwick. They're taking his phone off him. 678 00:32:58,701 --> 00:32:59,740 But that's not legal. 679 00:32:59,765 --> 00:33:01,974 They can remove the phone if it has a camera or internet access... 680 00:33:01,999 --> 00:33:03,093 which is every phone in the world. 681 00:33:03,118 --> 00:33:04,765 Who's got his phone? How are they allowed to have his phone? 682 00:33:04,790 --> 00:33:06,772 That phone belongs to him, so who's got it right now? Where is it? 683 00:33:07,133 --> 00:33:08,694 I need to get back to the office. 684 00:33:10,345 --> 00:33:11,384 He's going where? 685 00:33:12,147 --> 00:33:16,288 Three Bridges. It's a centre like Yarl's Wood, near Gatwick. 686 00:33:17,128 --> 00:33:19,397 He's on his way now. It's ridiculous. 687 00:33:19,422 --> 00:33:20,425 I've got it here. 688 00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:22,960 It says, "Three Bridges is a removal centre." 689 00:33:23,858 --> 00:33:25,233 - Does that mean...? - It's near Gatwick. 690 00:33:25,594 --> 00:33:27,256 You go there to be removed. 691 00:33:28,787 --> 00:33:30,425 They can't deport someone in a single day. 692 00:33:30,426 --> 00:33:32,764 Oh, oh, your little world. 693 00:33:33,312 --> 00:33:37,076 He's not that far from you. I'll be there by half six. Get us a pizza. 694 00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:39,592 We should be moving in a month or so. 695 00:33:40,608 --> 00:33:42,429 The first man came back, Mr Yamagata. 696 00:33:42,430 --> 00:33:45,739 He offered the asking price, so off we go. Oh, except Ruby. 697 00:33:45,764 --> 00:33:47,631 I'm not moving. I'm really not. 698 00:33:47,873 --> 00:33:49,459 Pizza with lemon does not work. 699 00:33:49,834 --> 00:33:52,801 That house in Chancellor Row fell through, so we might have to 700 00:33:52,826 --> 00:33:56,068 rent for a couple of months, which is a bit of a hassle, but... 701 00:33:57,174 --> 00:33:58,408 ... gives me time to look for work. 702 00:33:58,442 --> 00:33:59,686 How much did this place go for? 703 00:34:00,437 --> 00:34:01,990 2.6 million. 704 00:34:02,613 --> 00:34:04,709 Oh, my God! 705 00:34:05,057 --> 00:34:06,061 London! 706 00:34:06,263 --> 00:34:10,647 [PHONE RINGS] 707 00:34:10,842 --> 00:34:13,668 Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, on, on. Hold on. 708 00:34:13,693 --> 00:34:15,162 Hello? Hello? 709 00:34:15,522 --> 00:34:17,818 Hey! Guess where I am. 710 00:34:18,108 --> 00:34:22,108 I know where you are. I'm like a world expert on Three Bridges now. 711 00:34:22,255 --> 00:34:23,255 You okay? 712 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,420 Whose phone is this? 713 00:34:24,701 --> 00:34:27,974 They give you a phone with £10 credit. Not allowed my old one. 714 00:34:27,999 --> 00:34:30,084 No, I know, I know. But what's happened to your proper phone? 715 00:34:30,529 --> 00:34:32,668 Who's got it? Did they take it? Did they bag it? 716 00:34:32,693 --> 00:34:34,879 Did they give you a receipt? Because that's really not their property. 717 00:34:34,904 --> 00:34:37,529 - Do you know where it is? - I don't really care about the phone. 718 00:34:38,928 --> 00:34:39,928 No. 719 00:34:42,182 --> 00:34:43,182 You okay? 720 00:34:43,858 --> 00:34:44,917 Yeah. 721 00:34:45,426 --> 00:34:46,787 I didn't even say goodbye. 722 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:50,574 So anyway, I'm down here in London. I'm not far away. 723 00:34:50,599 --> 00:34:51,910 I'm staying with Stephen. 724 00:34:51,935 --> 00:34:54,396 I've got your clothes. Just shoved them in. 725 00:34:54,950 --> 00:34:57,084 First thing tomorrow, I'll make an appointment to see you. 726 00:34:57,529 --> 00:35:00,545 - You can't. - Well, tough because I can, and I will. 727 00:35:01,490 --> 00:35:03,934 It takes 24 hours to make an appointment, and they're flying me 728 00:35:03,959 --> 00:35:04,998 out at 7.00am. 729 00:35:05,975 --> 00:35:07,030 It's 12 hours' time. 730 00:35:07,498 --> 00:35:09,060 No, Yvonne's put in an appeal. 731 00:35:09,132 --> 00:35:10,177 Doesn't matter. 732 00:35:11,030 --> 00:35:12,740 She's put in an appeal. 733 00:35:13,088 --> 00:35:14,295 That's the system now. 734 00:35:14,927 --> 00:35:17,107 They reverted the law back to 2014. 735 00:35:17,873 --> 00:35:20,224 You get deported. Then you can appeal. 736 00:35:20,646 --> 00:35:22,201 Well, they can't do that. 737 00:35:22,772 --> 00:35:24,935 Okay. Tell them. 738 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,040 7.00am? 739 00:35:35,769 --> 00:35:36,769 Yeah. 740 00:35:39,585 --> 00:35:40,904 Where to, Kiev? 741 00:35:43,037 --> 00:35:45,107 - Yeah. - Right, then. 742 00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:48,888 Well, you go, and then... 743 00:35:50,684 --> 00:35:52,013 ... I'll get you back. 744 00:35:55,994 --> 00:35:57,014 Yes, please. 745 00:36:10,002 --> 00:36:12,021 - Hey. - [GIGGLING] 746 00:36:12,257 --> 00:36:14,623 Hi there. Shut up. Go to sleep. 747 00:36:15,879 --> 00:36:18,045 - What's all this? - Nothing. 748 00:36:19,408 --> 00:36:21,408 - Is the bed okay? - It's fine. 749 00:36:22,824 --> 00:36:24,800 - Oh, were the boys making trouble? - No. 750 00:36:25,802 --> 00:36:27,029 [SHE LAUGHS] 751 00:36:27,497 --> 00:36:29,021 Is there something wrong? 752 00:36:29,253 --> 00:36:31,341 No, it's fine. Just... 753 00:36:33,346 --> 00:36:35,841 [WHISPERS] This is nice. That's all. 754 00:36:36,230 --> 00:36:38,638 Now sssh! 755 00:36:40,233 --> 00:36:42,029 - Aw! - [EDITH LAUGHS] 756 00:36:42,054 --> 00:36:43,779 - Aw! - Shut up! 757 00:36:47,474 --> 00:36:49,013 I haven't done this for years. 758 00:36:49,567 --> 00:36:50,935 Remember that caravan? 759 00:36:52,128 --> 00:36:54,263 All the food went off. Do you remember? 760 00:36:55,358 --> 00:36:56,802 Mum was livid! 761 00:36:57,691 --> 00:36:59,412 Happy days. 762 00:37:01,430 --> 00:37:02,434 Yeah. 763 00:37:04,143 --> 00:37:05,787 Night, then. 764 00:37:07,242 --> 00:37:08,290 Welcome home. 765 00:37:29,593 --> 00:37:30,613 Right. 766 00:37:35,510 --> 00:37:38,537 - What are you going to do? - Go back home. 767 00:37:40,691 --> 00:37:41,865 Get him back. 768 00:38:02,479 --> 00:38:03,495 [PHONE RINGS] 769 00:38:05,390 --> 00:38:06,513 Hi there. You okay? 770 00:38:06,756 --> 00:38:09,560 Come outside quickly! Come and look outside now. 771 00:38:09,670 --> 00:38:11,310 Danny said Viktor's been flown out. 772 00:38:11,370 --> 00:38:13,935 He's phoned the Home Office but just ended up talking to a clerk. 773 00:38:14,014 --> 00:38:16,295 Yes, yes, yes. Edith, come outside now! 774 00:38:19,612 --> 00:38:21,897 I'm here. Can you see me? 775 00:38:24,178 --> 00:38:25,919 - What's all the fuss? - Oh, my God. 776 00:38:25,944 --> 00:38:28,858 Wait till you see. Here it comes. It's hilarious. 777 00:38:29,003 --> 00:38:30,026 Look. 778 00:38:30,261 --> 00:38:33,819 Look, it's the Battle Bus! It's the Rookmobile! It's Vivienne Rook! 779 00:38:34,139 --> 00:38:36,686 Oh, my God. I've read about her. 780 00:38:36,873 --> 00:38:38,755 Yeah, she's on TV all the time, you missed it! 781 00:38:38,780 --> 00:38:40,381 She's got her own party, the Four Stars! 782 00:38:40,562 --> 00:38:43,533 Hello, Viv! Hello! Yes, woo! 783 00:38:43,959 --> 00:38:45,251 She sounds like a monster. 784 00:38:45,410 --> 00:38:47,326 Oh, I know, I wouldn't vote for her. She's horrific. 785 00:38:47,584 --> 00:38:50,115 I read somewhere that she acts all normal, but she's a millionaire. 786 00:38:50,509 --> 00:38:51,615 Go on, Viv! Whoo! 787 00:38:51,873 --> 00:38:54,030 Rosie, I don't think she's actually on the bus. 788 00:38:54,159 --> 00:38:56,100 Yeah, I know. She won't set foot in this place. 789 00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:57,701 Been Labour for 500 years. 790 00:38:58,057 --> 00:39:00,600 Mind you, nice to have a woman, though. Go on, Viv! 791 00:39:00,923 --> 00:39:02,311 So who's he got out there? 792 00:39:02,336 --> 00:39:03,553 His mum and dad. 793 00:39:04,081 --> 00:39:05,373 But they're Eastern Orthodox, 794 00:39:05,811 --> 00:39:08,389 and when the Russians occupied Ukraine, they named him 795 00:39:08,390 --> 00:39:09,740 to the police as gay. 796 00:39:09,912 --> 00:39:12,409 That's what people do there. His own parents! 797 00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:13,434 I mean, he's got friends, 798 00:39:13,459 --> 00:39:14,691 - but they're all too scared. - [PHONE RINGS] 799 00:39:15,166 --> 00:39:16,972 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 800 00:39:16,997 --> 00:39:19,369 Oh! Here I am! I'm alive. 801 00:39:19,394 --> 00:39:20,769 I did it! I'm here. 802 00:39:20,916 --> 00:39:23,144 Are you all right? What time is it there? 803 00:39:23,169 --> 00:39:25,777 - Where are you? - I'm fine. I'm really fine. 804 00:39:25,802 --> 00:39:26,802 We're going. 805 00:39:26,827 --> 00:39:28,622 Don't mind us. We'll leave you to it. 806 00:39:28,995 --> 00:39:31,542 Well done, Viktor. He'll get you home. 807 00:39:31,567 --> 00:39:32,729 Hi there! Thank you. 808 00:39:32,754 --> 00:39:35,075 I'll come round later, yeah, Fran? All right, all right. 809 00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:36,124 Right, bye-bye. 810 00:39:37,657 --> 00:39:39,403 Oh, my God. 811 00:39:40,839 --> 00:39:42,051 Look at your face! 812 00:39:44,171 --> 00:39:45,684 Where are you now? Where's that? 813 00:39:45,709 --> 00:39:47,934 Claude's. I'm staying with Claude. 814 00:39:48,187 --> 00:39:51,653 He's there in the kitchen, just to warn you. Do not whack it out! 815 00:39:53,083 --> 00:39:55,340 - I wasn't going to. - Well, I would! 816 00:39:55,439 --> 00:39:56,973 [THEY LAUGH] 817 00:39:58,254 --> 00:40:01,598 You all right, though? I mean, you're not under arrest, are you? 818 00:40:01,903 --> 00:40:04,036 No, it's fine, I promise. 819 00:40:04,307 --> 00:40:07,356 One good thing, Britain deported 200 people in one day. 820 00:40:07,801 --> 00:40:09,262 55 to Kiev. 821 00:40:09,583 --> 00:40:10,950 So you know, that's a lot of people. 822 00:40:11,590 --> 00:40:14,254 - It helps. - But you're on a government list. 823 00:40:14,279 --> 00:40:16,317 I don't want to fight. I just want to go. 824 00:40:16,971 --> 00:40:19,247 Till then, I will do what they say. 825 00:40:19,272 --> 00:40:20,497 I will live discreetly. 826 00:40:21,749 --> 00:40:23,481 Live discreetly. 827 00:40:24,622 --> 00:40:25,864 Until I come home. 828 00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:28,497 I could fly out. 829 00:40:29,438 --> 00:40:31,504 - Is that discreet? - I don't know. 830 00:40:32,175 --> 00:40:33,211 Is it? 831 00:40:34,426 --> 00:40:35,426 I don't know. 832 00:40:37,449 --> 00:40:38,449 God. 833 00:40:39,472 --> 00:40:41,934 Just for now, we will be discreet. 834 00:40:43,676 --> 00:40:44,707 I love you. 835 00:40:45,461 --> 00:40:46,461 Yeah. 836 00:40:47,488 --> 00:40:48,508 I love you. 837 00:40:50,754 --> 00:40:52,364 But can they listen to this? 838 00:40:52,963 --> 00:40:53,995 I don't know. 839 00:40:57,700 --> 00:41:01,422 [CLAMOURING AND CHANTING] 840 00:41:06,002 --> 00:41:08,231 This is a different country to the one I left. 841 00:41:08,575 --> 00:41:12,083 No-one used to care about by-elections. It's gone mad. 842 00:41:12,108 --> 00:41:13,669 Yeah. We're all bloody furious now. 843 00:41:13,694 --> 00:41:15,227 - What about? - Everything. 844 00:41:16,067 --> 00:41:18,067 I'm not getting in your way at home? 845 00:41:18,092 --> 00:41:20,309 Just cos you keep cleaning up after me, like, every time I make a move, 846 00:41:20,334 --> 00:41:21,606 you're there, cleaning, and I just... 847 00:41:21,702 --> 00:41:23,326 well, I just wondered if you'd rather that I went. 848 00:41:23,351 --> 00:41:25,490 No, no. I love having you there. It's just... 849 00:41:26,088 --> 00:41:28,413 Well, you know with Mum when she was on chemo, 850 00:41:28,685 --> 00:41:30,052 the drugs are radioactive, so, 851 00:41:30,077 --> 00:41:32,209 "Don't touch any urine, don't touch vomit, 852 00:41:32,234 --> 00:41:34,855 "don't touch any bodily fluids" and it kind of got to me. 853 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,255 I mean, I was with her all day, every day, and I wore gloves, 854 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:39,740 scrubbed everything, but... 855 00:41:40,503 --> 00:41:42,459 You're not radioactive, are you? 856 00:41:43,642 --> 00:41:45,169 No! No, I'm not. 857 00:41:45,194 --> 00:41:47,248 I just keep thinking of the boys, you know, and... 858 00:41:47,834 --> 00:41:49,841 I wouldn't do that to you, I swear. 859 00:41:50,382 --> 00:41:53,381 It doesn't work like that, anyway. You get more radiation off rocks. 860 00:41:53,406 --> 00:41:56,812 - Oh, my God! - [APPLAUSE] 861 00:41:59,940 --> 00:42:01,003 Go on, Vivienne! 862 00:42:01,546 --> 00:42:03,913 - Are you on her side now? - No, I haven't made my mind up yet. 863 00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:05,530 Go on, Viv! Woo! 864 00:42:05,555 --> 00:42:08,571 [CHANTING AND CLAMOURING] 865 00:42:12,921 --> 00:42:17,968 [BOOING] 866 00:42:18,006 --> 00:42:21,148 I think that your party has let us down, Stan, 867 00:42:21,173 --> 00:42:23,421 just like the Conservatives, just like all of you, 868 00:42:23,866 --> 00:42:25,569 because Europe is punishing us. 869 00:42:25,780 --> 00:42:29,888 They're imposing embargoes, export tariffs and border restrictions. 870 00:42:29,913 --> 00:42:32,409 We're fed up, and what are you doing? Nothing. 871 00:42:32,410 --> 00:42:33,757 Export tariffs? 872 00:42:34,069 --> 00:42:36,966 - Yes. - They impose export tariffs? 873 00:42:36,991 --> 00:42:38,109 It's a disgrace. 874 00:42:38,187 --> 00:42:39,843 What's an export tariff? 875 00:42:41,366 --> 00:42:42,685 I mean, tariffs in general. 876 00:42:42,710 --> 00:42:45,109 See, if they impose an export tariff, 877 00:42:45,134 --> 00:42:47,913 then they would pay the export tariff themselves. 878 00:42:47,971 --> 00:42:49,515 We don't pay. They do. 879 00:42:49,540 --> 00:42:50,991 Do you actually understand that? 880 00:42:51,595 --> 00:42:52,646 [LAUGHTER] 881 00:42:52,671 --> 00:42:53,983 - No, but I... - You see, I don't think 882 00:42:54,008 --> 00:42:55,897 you understand anything. 883 00:42:56,057 --> 00:42:59,381 This is very detailed and precise information, 884 00:42:59,406 --> 00:43:01,280 and you don't even begin to understand it. 885 00:43:01,835 --> 00:43:03,577 You're just saying words, Mrs Rook. 886 00:43:04,406 --> 00:43:06,446 [DISSENTING NOISES] 887 00:43:09,436 --> 00:43:12,764 And now, closing remarks from Vivian Rook, Four Star Party. 888 00:43:13,464 --> 00:43:16,967 Thank you. And thank you to my fellow candidates. 889 00:43:18,506 --> 00:43:21,357 I've been humbled tonight. I've learnt a lot. 890 00:43:22,971 --> 00:43:24,982 I certainly know what an export tariff is now, 891 00:43:25,514 --> 00:43:29,342 although I can't help noticing that a woman is not allowed one mistake. 892 00:43:29,367 --> 00:43:30,881 Oh, don't do that! 893 00:43:31,017 --> 00:43:35,217 I wonder. We've been asked about strategies, 894 00:43:35,828 --> 00:43:39,115 policies. I've been accused of sounding vague. 895 00:43:40,781 --> 00:43:44,226 I think I am, perhaps, cautious. 896 00:43:45,744 --> 00:43:46,787 No, I'm scared. 897 00:43:46,812 --> 00:43:50,765 I am. I am terrified, given the size of the task in front of me. 898 00:43:52,433 --> 00:43:54,601 Has any of you seen one of these? 899 00:43:55,076 --> 00:43:58,385 They've been on the telly highly illegal, smuggled in from Taiwan. 900 00:43:58,410 --> 00:44:00,437 I will be surrendering this to the police 901 00:44:00,749 --> 00:44:01,827 when we are done here tonight. 902 00:44:01,852 --> 00:44:05,695 But for those of you who don't know, this is called a blink. 903 00:44:06,656 --> 00:44:10,500 A blink is a weapon created by cyber terrorists. 904 00:44:11,386 --> 00:44:12,414 And it goes... 905 00:44:14,035 --> 00:44:15,035 - [BLEEP] - Blink. 906 00:44:16,172 --> 00:44:17,811 [CROWD MURMUR] 907 00:44:17,836 --> 00:44:20,698 It takes out every online device... 908 00:44:20,723 --> 00:44:23,361 - She can't do that! - ... within a 30-metre radius. 909 00:44:23,386 --> 00:44:24,762 [INDISTINCT OUTRAGE] 910 00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:27,387 If you don't mind, I'm talking, 911 00:44:27,428 --> 00:44:28,507 - You can't do that! - and if you can't manage without 912 00:44:28,532 --> 00:44:29,819 - your phone for five minutes... - That's ridiculous! 913 00:44:29,844 --> 00:44:31,177 while we talk to each other face-to-face... 914 00:44:31,202 --> 00:44:32,648 - You can't just do that! - ... like human beings... 915 00:44:32,673 --> 00:44:33,826 You have no right. 916 00:44:33,851 --> 00:44:35,115 ... what is the point of anything, sir? 917 00:44:35,140 --> 00:44:36,140 Disgusting! 918 00:44:36,956 --> 00:44:39,787 Because I would go further. 919 00:44:40,241 --> 00:44:42,076 I would legalise the blink. 920 00:44:42,584 --> 00:44:45,817 I would give one of these to every parent, every teacher, every school. 921 00:44:45,842 --> 00:44:49,453 I would activate the blink in every classroom, every home, every day, 922 00:44:49,868 --> 00:44:51,639 because do you know what I did? 923 00:44:52,987 --> 00:44:55,006 I looked on my goddaughter's phone. 924 00:44:55,553 --> 00:44:58,030 She is six years old. 925 00:44:58,576 --> 00:45:00,465 She is six years old. 926 00:45:00,490 --> 00:45:04,583 And do you know what I saw on the phone of that six-year-old girl? 927 00:45:04,608 --> 00:45:07,926 On the phone of every six-year-old girl in the country? On the phone 928 00:45:07,951 --> 00:45:11,926 of every six-year-old girl and boy in the entire civilised world, 929 00:45:11,951 --> 00:45:13,397 I saw this. 930 00:45:13,485 --> 00:45:17,647 [GROANS OF DISGUST] 931 00:45:17,995 --> 00:45:20,186 - Hey, this is cheating! - Oh, God! 932 00:45:20,211 --> 00:45:22,903 We are not allowed to use visual aids. 933 00:45:22,928 --> 00:45:26,147 Get a new plan, Stan! This is the filth on the phones. 934 00:45:26,506 --> 00:45:28,373 Look at it! Look at it! 935 00:45:28,398 --> 00:45:32,826 Because our children do nonstop porn streaming into our children's 936 00:45:32,851 --> 00:45:33,874 eyes all day. 937 00:45:33,899 --> 00:45:35,405 You there, laughing, mate are you proud of this 938 00:45:35,570 --> 00:45:37,568 nonstop porn for kids? 939 00:45:37,593 --> 00:45:39,022 - That's nice. - Amazing. 940 00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:44,405 Let me guarantee, as your MP, I will go to Parliament on your behalf 941 00:45:44,632 --> 00:45:49,944 and I will find those CEOs in California, those high-tech giants, 942 00:45:49,969 --> 00:45:53,038 those men, and I will bring them back here 943 00:45:53,664 --> 00:45:56,147 not to appear in front of a Select Committee... 944 00:45:56,858 --> 00:45:59,530 I will bring them here to stand trial. 945 00:46:00,515 --> 00:46:03,726 I will bring them here to find them guilty. 946 00:46:04,963 --> 00:46:08,218 I will bring them here to jail them. 947 00:46:08,757 --> 00:46:11,351 Are you with me? 948 00:46:11,410 --> 00:46:13,409 CROWD: Yes! 949 00:46:13,410 --> 00:46:15,426 [APPLAUSE] 950 00:46:17,507 --> 00:46:19,280 Well, then, ladies and gentlemen... 951 00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:21,866 tweet that. 952 00:46:22,190 --> 00:46:25,226 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 953 00:46:36,362 --> 00:46:38,425 [CHANTING] 954 00:46:38,671 --> 00:46:40,077 I thought you hated her. 955 00:46:40,139 --> 00:46:41,663 Tear the world down. 956 00:46:41,688 --> 00:46:42,944 Ha-ha-ha! 957 00:46:43,996 --> 00:46:45,257 Thanks for coming. 958 00:46:48,382 --> 00:46:50,386 [INDISTINCT] 959 00:46:52,202 --> 00:46:53,206 Nice to meet you. 960 00:46:54,866 --> 00:46:56,491 Oh, my God, wait there. One minute, one minute. 961 00:46:56,516 --> 00:46:57,916 Excuse me! Excuse me! 962 00:46:57,941 --> 00:47:00,898 Hi.Hi. Oh, Viv, hi. For the kids, do you mind? 963 00:47:00,923 --> 00:47:02,959 Yes. Sure, go ahead, it's all right. Here we go. 964 00:47:08,426 --> 00:47:09,882 I'm fed up of it now. 965 00:47:10,793 --> 00:47:12,054 Finish off tomorrow. 966 00:47:13,014 --> 00:47:14,014 Going to bed? 967 00:47:14,726 --> 00:47:16,554 Yeah. The money's in. 968 00:47:17,449 --> 00:47:18,913 Thank you, Mr Yamagata. 969 00:47:21,913 --> 00:47:25,007 Ruby's right. I don't want to move either. 970 00:47:27,390 --> 00:47:30,757 Still, Maddy says there might be jobs with Simon Harris. 971 00:47:31,112 --> 00:47:33,944 It's worth a try. Coming up? 972 00:47:50,218 --> 00:47:52,261 Signor, lights out downstairs. 973 00:47:52,777 --> 00:47:54,624 AUTOMATED: Lights out, ground floor. 974 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:00,405 Goodnight, Stephen. 975 00:48:10,394 --> 00:48:13,418 [PHONE RINGS] 976 00:48:13,443 --> 00:48:15,163 [PHONE RINGS] 977 00:48:17,593 --> 00:48:20,304 - It's my phone. - It's mine as well. 978 00:48:24,390 --> 00:48:27,093 - It's from Sally and Tanya. - Me too. 979 00:48:27,716 --> 00:48:29,179 And Richard Peel. 980 00:48:30,198 --> 00:48:31,476 What time is it in Tokyo? 981 00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:35,538 Must be about 9am. Just opened. 982 00:48:38,564 --> 00:48:39,811 Do you think it's true? 983 00:48:42,955 --> 00:48:45,615 The Japanese Exchange Group has issued a statement of 984 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,804 no confidence in Foster Foster Drake. 985 00:48:48,093 --> 00:48:50,116 Foster Foster Drake is the second-largest 986 00:48:50,141 --> 00:48:51,804 investment bank in America. 987 00:48:52,130 --> 00:48:55,607 The JXS maintains that Foster Foster Drake will be filing for a 988 00:48:55,632 --> 00:48:59,265 Chapter 11 bankruptcy as soon as trading opens on the east coast. 989 00:49:02,671 --> 00:49:04,319 The online bank's gone down. 990 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:06,796 Must be everyone. 991 00:49:07,874 --> 00:49:10,312 But Foster Foster Drake doesn't own the Alliance. 992 00:49:10,773 --> 00:49:12,218 No, no. We'll be fine. 993 00:49:12,963 --> 00:49:15,718 It's connected, though. They ghost a lot of services. 994 00:49:20,062 --> 00:49:23,515 And you left all that money in one account? 995 00:49:24,323 --> 00:49:27,393 I just... I don't move money till the morning. 996 00:49:27,418 --> 00:49:30,787 That's what I do. Every morning, I have a coffee, 997 00:49:30,812 --> 00:49:33,085 and if money needs moving, that's when I do it. 998 00:49:35,503 --> 00:49:39,502 Nothing we can do until the banks open. I can sort it then. Okay? 999 00:49:56,604 --> 00:49:59,493 - I'm going to the bank. - You can't take out 1.2 million. 1000 00:49:59,518 --> 00:50:00,612 I know. I'm going to move it. 1001 00:50:00,737 --> 00:50:03,213 I always move the money in the morning. I'm not saying it's your fault. 1002 00:50:03,238 --> 00:50:05,338 Celeste, this is the kind of thing that causes a run on the bank. 1003 00:50:05,363 --> 00:50:07,705 Yes, and if there's a run on the bank, I am running. 1004 00:50:10,233 --> 00:50:12,432 - Is that thing working? - There's no reply. 1005 00:50:14,030 --> 00:50:17,072 Keep trying. It's Bruce McNolte. Patch him through to me. 1006 00:50:18,268 --> 00:50:19,860 He's not just a friend, Bruce. He's a mate. 1007 00:50:19,885 --> 00:50:21,322 I wrote that reference for his son, 1008 00:50:21,940 --> 00:50:23,680 and if he could just backdate, 1009 00:50:23,705 --> 00:50:26,065 that's all, if he just backdates the transfer by one day... 1010 00:50:26,632 --> 00:50:27,635 Oh, my God! 1011 00:50:27,791 --> 00:50:28,994 It's not... 1012 00:50:29,932 --> 00:50:31,322 We'll be all right. Come on. We're... 1013 00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:34,197 - We're not just any old customers. - One at a time. 1014 00:50:34,222 --> 00:50:36,758 - I'm sorry. Just one at a time. - They're going in one at a time. 1015 00:50:36,783 --> 00:50:38,166 Sorry, could you just keep back? 1016 00:50:38,515 --> 00:50:40,401 Yeah. This is us. 1017 00:50:42,406 --> 00:50:43,697 Just hold on. Wait here. 1018 00:50:50,966 --> 00:50:52,937 [EXCITED CHATTER] 1019 00:50:52,962 --> 00:50:54,330 Just keep yourselves back. 1020 00:50:54,947 --> 00:50:57,877 Sorry. Hi. This is a bit of a mess, isn't it? 1021 00:50:58,250 --> 00:51:01,354 - I wonder, could you get me in? - Just have to wait, sir. 1022 00:51:01,531 --> 00:51:05,389 No, I'm quite a special customer. 1023 00:51:05,828 --> 00:51:09,601 I haven't just got 500 quid in an ISA. I'm on the Gold Star list. 1024 00:51:09,626 --> 00:51:10,945 Sorry, there's nothing I can do. 1025 00:51:11,273 --> 00:51:12,624 You'll have to queue with the rest of 'em. 1026 00:51:14,249 --> 00:51:18,296 Is... Is Bruce McNolte in there? He's the area manager. 1027 00:51:18,890 --> 00:51:21,015 I actually know Bruce quite well, 1028 00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,257 I've been to dinner at his house, and he'd want to see me. 1029 00:51:24,483 --> 00:51:26,156 I've told you, there's nothing I can do. 1030 00:51:27,945 --> 00:51:30,401 But I really need to see him. 1031 00:51:30,992 --> 00:51:32,982 I need to ask you to step back, please, sir. 1032 00:51:33,898 --> 00:51:34,945 But he's my friend. 1033 00:51:34,970 --> 00:51:36,640 Sir, I'm telling you, step away. 1034 00:51:37,218 --> 00:51:39,710 Listen, my name is Stephen Lyons... 1035 00:51:39,851 --> 00:51:42,968 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I've been told to lock the doors. Sorry. 1036 00:51:42,993 --> 00:51:44,068 [CUSTOMERS SHOUTING] 1037 00:51:44,093 --> 00:51:45,523 No, they can't... 1038 00:51:56,296 --> 00:51:57,921 Let me in! You have my money! 1039 00:51:57,946 --> 00:51:59,017 Easy, easy! 1040 00:51:59,042 --> 00:52:01,049 [SHOUTING CONTINUES] 1041 00:52:02,156 --> 00:52:03,741 No! No! 1042 00:52:03,774 --> 00:52:04,813 [SHOUTING CONTINUES] 1043 00:52:06,087 --> 00:52:07,234 Let me in! 1044 00:52:36,343 --> 00:52:39,841 You can't do this! You've got £20,000 of my money! 1045 00:52:39,866 --> 00:52:43,434 [SHOUTING CONTINUES] 1046 00:52:51,639 --> 00:52:52,647 Yeah? 1047 00:52:52,672 --> 00:52:55,818 Stephen, can you hear me? 1048 00:52:55,843 --> 00:52:56,898 Yes! 1049 00:52:57,186 --> 00:53:00,085 It's the same at Clinton Shaw! The whole thing's going down! 1050 00:53:00,493 --> 00:53:03,937 Jesus. Try to get anything. Anything! 1051 00:53:07,010 --> 00:53:08,616 Calm down, ladies and gentlemen! 1052 00:53:14,616 --> 00:53:17,421 Let me in, I'm a friend of Bruce McNolte! 1053 00:53:18,249 --> 00:53:19,425 I'm a friend of Bruce! 1054 00:53:19,450 --> 00:53:22,382 [SHOUTING CONTINUES] 1055 00:53:29,446 --> 00:53:31,442 Move! Move it! Move! 1056 00:53:33,217 --> 00:53:36,405 You've got my money, open the door! You've got my money! 1057 00:53:36,406 --> 00:53:38,378 [SHOUTING CONTINUES] 1058 00:53:42,406 --> 00:53:43,430 Let me in! 1059 00:53:45,983 --> 00:53:47,434 Let me in! 1060 00:53:53,382 --> 00:53:54,764 The bank has failed. 1061 00:53:55,530 --> 00:53:56,578 Officially. 1062 00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:00,409 The Government could step in, but won't. 1063 00:54:00,410 --> 00:54:03,006 So that leaves us kind of stuffed. 1064 00:54:05,039 --> 00:54:06,850 Now, that's the word, stuffed. 1065 00:54:08,475 --> 00:54:11,147 I said to Mr Yamagata, can we wind back a day, just to be nice? 1066 00:54:11,172 --> 00:54:13,429 But... no, he said no. 1067 00:54:14,397 --> 00:54:16,850 The house is sold and we've got to get out. 1068 00:54:17,154 --> 00:54:18,608 So how much have you lost? 1069 00:54:19,608 --> 00:54:23,966 Well, we're covered up to £85,000. 1070 00:54:23,991 --> 00:54:24,991 That's the limit. 1071 00:54:26,444 --> 00:54:29,233 There was a temporary high balance clause, but... 1072 00:54:29,338 --> 00:54:30,393 It's gone. 1073 00:54:31,099 --> 00:54:32,873 ... with the collapse of Foster Foster Drake, 1074 00:54:32,906 --> 00:54:34,393 you know, insurance is fucked. 1075 00:54:34,418 --> 00:54:37,522 But, Stephen, how much did you lose? 1076 00:54:39,519 --> 00:54:41,256 Minus the 85... 1077 00:54:43,410 --> 00:54:44,450 ... we lost... 1078 00:54:46,710 --> 00:54:49,452 ... £1,135,000. 1079 00:54:50,936 --> 00:54:51,936 Oh! 1080 00:54:52,577 --> 00:54:53,609 Oh, my God. 1081 00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:59,421 - [HE MOUTHS] - But how much of that can you get back? 1082 00:54:59,446 --> 00:55:00,710 Nothing. That's it. 1083 00:55:01,217 --> 00:55:03,256 You've still got 85,000, though. 1084 00:55:03,710 --> 00:55:05,377 SCOFFS: To buy a house? 1085 00:55:05,378 --> 00:55:07,069 Is that enough? With two kids? Really? 1086 00:55:07,322 --> 00:55:09,014 Give it to me. I'll have a go. 1087 00:55:09,171 --> 00:55:11,802 - Oh, stop it, Rosie. - No, I won't! 1088 00:55:11,827 --> 00:55:15,139 Because they've knackered the whole country for the second time. 1089 00:55:15,164 --> 00:55:18,170 The bankers, the experts, and, I'm sorry, people like Stephen, 1090 00:55:18,342 --> 00:55:21,114 - they did this. Yes, they did. - All right, Rosie! 1091 00:55:21,139 --> 00:55:22,194 Not now. 1092 00:55:22,292 --> 00:55:24,811 - No, it's true. - It is true, it is true. 1093 00:55:24,896 --> 00:55:25,959 Are you finished? 1094 00:55:26,576 --> 00:55:28,069 Enjoying yourselves? Thanks. 1095 00:55:28,418 --> 00:55:31,311 So what about work? What happens? 1096 00:55:31,438 --> 00:55:32,561 It's not great. 1097 00:55:33,655 --> 00:55:36,259 I'm the financial adviser who lost a million quid. 1098 00:55:36,284 --> 00:55:39,173 Who might be facing charges for rioting in the street. 1099 00:55:39,351 --> 00:55:41,142 There's no need for that. 1100 00:55:41,396 --> 00:55:42,444 Shut up! 1101 00:55:44,204 --> 00:55:45,345 So, what are you going to do? 1102 00:55:46,172 --> 00:55:47,493 Where are you going to live? 1103 00:56:00,126 --> 00:56:02,757 Welcome home. We'll be fine. 1104 00:56:02,782 --> 00:56:05,579 There's plenty of room. Happy little household. 1105 00:56:20,821 --> 00:56:24,457 Vivienne Alison Rook, Four Star Party... 1106 00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:27,757 [BOOING, WHOOPING AND CHEERING] 1107 00:56:27,782 --> 00:56:32,003 ... 18,556 votes. 1108 00:56:33,065 --> 00:56:36,143 Stanley Edward Thomas, Labour... 1109 00:56:36,168 --> 00:56:39,432 ... 17,367 votes. 1110 00:56:39,753 --> 00:56:41,370 Wow. 1111 00:56:42,636 --> 00:56:44,413 Go on, Viv! Yes, you did it! 1112 00:56:44,438 --> 00:56:47,385 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 1113 00:56:47,679 --> 00:56:51,021 I declare that Vivienne Rook is duly elected 1114 00:56:51,046 --> 00:56:53,771 as Member of Parliament for this constituency! 1115 00:56:53,796 --> 00:56:57,343 CROWD CHANTING: Viv! Viv! Viv! 1116 00:56:58,561 --> 00:57:00,541 Oh, my God. 1117 00:57:03,679 --> 00:57:04,734 I promise you, 1118 00:57:06,062 --> 00:57:09,484 this is the day when British politics will... 1119 00:57:10,366 --> 00:57:11,718 You don't mind, do you? 1120 00:57:13,484 --> 00:57:14,593 - No! - No. 1121 00:57:15,343 --> 00:57:18,007 [CHEERING AND WHOOPING] 1122 00:57:18,032 --> 00:57:19,040 This is... 1123 00:57:21,616 --> 00:57:23,007 ... just the beginning. 1124 00:57:23,032 --> 00:57:25,349 This is just the beginning. 1125 00:57:25,374 --> 00:57:29,398 CROWD CHANTING: Viv! Viv! Viv! Viv! 1126 00:57:34,757 --> 00:57:36,241 _ 1127 00:57:41,085 --> 00:57:43,038 - He's got to cross the border. - You mean illegally? 1128 00:57:44,069 --> 00:57:47,640 If the exit polls are correct, this is an extraordinary result. 1129 00:57:51,796 --> 00:57:54,038 I will decide! 1130 00:57:54,063 --> 00:57:55,609 [WHOOPING AND CHEERING] 1131 00:58:00,262 --> 00:58:03,662 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 85437

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