All language subtitles for Uncle Buck (2016) - 01x08 - Block Party.FLEET.English.C

Okay, you guys are gonna pose
as my video-journalism class

while I practice my presentation.

Ah! We're gonna watch a movie.

That's when I used to sleep in class.

Scoot over, Maizy. Let me stretch out.

- Can I be the teacher?
- Sure.

I thought I was gonna be the teacher.

You both can be the teacher.

- Great. Class dismissed.
- I agree with my colleague.

Y'all sit down. Now, this
is important to your sister,

which means it's probably
boring, but we'll be supportive.

"In today's society,

we seldom take the time
to explore our roots.

So I've chosen to make a documentary

on the Chicago neighborhood

where my dad and my Uncle Buck grew up."

South Side represent!

"So sit back and enjoy
'Chicago? Chicag-no.'"

The South Side of Chicago.

Only fear blows through this Windy City.

With crime at an all-time
high, it's amazing

that President Obama
and R. Kelly got out.

What the hell?

And so as the sun sets on Wright Park,

so do the hopes of
most of its residents.

What'd you guys think?

If that was a video game, I
wouldn't be allowed to buy it.

I closed my eyes.

What happened after they
tear-gassed those people?

The old neighborhood
is nothing like that.

Y'all ain't ever been there.

I don't need to. I Googled it.

Google ain't ever been there either.

The Google car goes everywhere.

Trust me, the Google
car don't know nothing.

You can't argue with statistics.

The hell I can't!

Where were the families,
men playing cards,

old women making sure
kids get home safe?

Probably dead.

I mean, didn't you see the documentary?

You kids don't have no
idea where you came from.

How did that happen?

Honey, that was a great SoulCycle sesh.

I'll go get that truffle risotto going.

And I'll start looking

for "Sound of Music"
sing-along tickets!

Ooh!

Hey, guys.

- Ahh!
- Oh. There it is.

Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

Oh, my.

Look. Look at this.

Can you believe this is

what Tia thinks about
our old neighborhood?

She's completely wrong.

Did I see "Walking
Dead" footage in there?

Oh, that was "Thriller."

White zombies don't get down like this.

In her defense, the transition
from Kanye's "Homecoming" video

to a "Good Times" clip was seamless.

I didn't say it wasn't
hot, but it ain't right.

You two dropped the ball with them kids,

and it's a shame you
never took them there.

I feel terrible about that.

We'll have to fix that at some point.

It's already fixed!

Wright Park's having a
block party this Saturday,

and Cousin Tony's barbecue
joint is doing the food.

I don't know what's
going on this Saturday.

Let us talk about it.

T-Then it's settled.

We're going home, and
we're taking Tia down there

to show her that the hood is good.

Wait, wait, wait. I said
we had to talk about it.

It's too late. I'm going to
get my stretchy barbecue pants.

Honey, why are you being so weird?

You know he loves it down there.

Of course. He was the
mayor. They loved him.

I never fit in.

- They thought I was a nerd.
- Mm.

And this is before black nerds were hot.

They're hot?

Okay, acceptable.

My point is, I took a lot of heat.

Hey, what's up, Willy Nilly?

Give it back, Popcorn.

Make me, Willy Nilly.

But it's mine, Popcorn.

I look good on this thing.

Don't I, Willy Nilly?

- Did anyone go by their given name?
- No!

That's one of the many reasons
why I don't want to go back.

I don't need my kids to
find out I wasn't cool,

especially since Miles
caught me manscaping.

I like that you keep it neat.

But, you know, this is important.

I happen to agree with Buck.

Did you hear what you just said?

I know. It sounded
totally wrong in my mouth,

but it's true, and I
think we need to go.

Why do you want to go so much?

Because I am gonna show everybody

that the Russell family is on fleek.

"Fleek"? How'd that feel in your mouth?

You just want to go down there

to prove to my family
that you're "down."

Well, because they think I'm bougie.

They think I am, too!
I just don't fight it.

You tried to do the "Wobble"
dance at my cousin Tasha's wedding.

You wobbled right into
her and broke her ankle.

None of that is important.

What's important

is that we teach our
kids where they come from.

And just for the record,

the girls at my nonprofit
think I'm totes cool.

Do you even know what that means?

Yeah. Cool like a tote bag.

There's the Alexis I know.

Here I am on the front lines
of the South Side of Chicago,

and surprisingly, all is calm.

Where's the action, Uncle Buck?

I want to be like Anderson
Cooper in Fallujah.

I don't know that movie.

Look, this ain't what
you gonna see on TV.

You're gonna see some
good stuff today...

decent people, family, and community.

Look, there goes my man Bernie.

Hey, Bernie, what's up?!

Hey, where's my money [bleep]

Nothing to see over there, children.

Come on. Let's move it. Keep moving.

Come on. You're a grown man.

It's not like you're gonna
get pantsed or anything.

Aah!

Don't! Wait! Don't
let him take my pants!

Relax. Don't nobody want
your flat-front khakis.

It's Cousin Tony.

Hey, Tony. What's up, Cuz?

Hey, Will. Long time, no see.

Look at you. Big-time architect.

Finally let go of the Jheri curl, right?

Down to the slab.

Welcome to the club.

Hey, Tasha, everybody, it's Will!

Oh, really, you don't have to do that.

Oh, I saw that article in Ebony
about the museum you designed.

Hey, Tasha.

Oh.

I really love your shoes.

Yeah! They're flats.

I can't wear heels anymore.

'Cause your wobbling
ass broke her ankle.

Been following your career, Will.

We're all real proud of
you. Not just black proud.

Dad, you're a hometown hero.

Let me... Let me get a
selfie, boss man. Come on.

- Yeah, of course.
- Huh.

WorldStar!

Ooh! Tasha, and your hair

is just off the chizzy chizzy chain.

Oh you know, I just got
my beautician's license.

Tasha been to beauty school,

and she's been to refrigerator college.

She got two degrees. Same as your mama.

Get it, girl.

If you want, Alexis, I can
hook you up with a new 'do.

- You would?
- Mm-hmm.

Ooh, girl, yes! I am
so down for whatever.

Ha! Word.

- Is mommy in a play?
- In a way, yes.

- You ready to work?
- Say what?

I told Tony we would help
him with his barbecue booth.

Yeah, that's how we roll in Wright Park.

Hey, Tia's class, the hood is good!

Hey, Tia's class. Happy Fourth of July.

Maizy, you have to stop
eating up the potato salad.

But it's so good!

Uncle Buck says Cousin
Tony put his foot in it.

- And I'm done.
- Oh, no, sweetie.

When he says he put his foot in it,

it just means he did a really good job.

It's just a little something,
something we say down there.

Holler, girl.

See, Russells? This is real Chicago...

black people and
light-skinned black people

- breaking bread together.
- This is nice.

I don't know why it took
me so long to come home.

Where's Tia? She's missing me
do my thing with the coleslaw.

Oh, she's busy. I got
her whole day planned.

I'm introducing her to the
important people of the community,

starting with Alderman
Hoskins over there.

Okay, so...

His mustache is beautiful.

It's so thick and majestic.

Alderman Hoskins? He
got indicted last week.

Oh, hell!

I knew he was hiding
something in that mustache.

Wow. And he's still
here, eating pulled pork.

Our court system is flawed.

- Hey, girl.
- Oh, hey!

I moved some things around
so I can do your hair.

You still down for a new 'do?

Sounds like a "Wobble" moment.

Hush. Tasha, hook me up.

Holler!

Now give me that on that.

I get you were indicted for
fraud, but what is "collusion"?

Another word for trumped-up charges.

I wish. They got me on tape.

I got cocaine on me right now.

Hey, you on tape again, you dummy.

How will the children ever learn

if the adults don't lead the way?

We still got Obama, even though
he did smoke a little weed.

Hey, Dad, I heard some people say

that they want you to
design the new youth center.

- You gonna do it?
- Yeah. I think I might.

It's giving back to the place
that has given me so much.

Hey, what's up, Popcorn?

Yo, Popcorn!

Popcorn.

What's up, Willy Nilly?

Is it me, or is that dude
way too big for that bike?

Miles, go get me a grill brush.

That look like your old bike.

It is. Popcorn stole it
from me back in the day.

I thought you said you traded that
bike for a Barry Manilow album.

I was a-ashamed to tell you.

But you're not ashamed of
listening to Barry Manilow?

You should have told me. You
know I always got your back.

What's going on?

Nothing. We're not
talking about anything.

Some fool jacked your daddy's
bike when he was a kid.

And he still has it? That's crazy.

Dad, you're the man now
here. Go get your bike.

That's right. I am the man.

So... I should probably go get it.

Yeah. Watch yourself.

Word on the street,
Popcorn is off his meds.

Do you guys see that grown
man riding a kid's bike?

- No. We missed it.
- Yeah, we saw it.

He stole that bike from
Dad when he was a kid.

Oh, my God. An exclusive.
How do you feel about this?

No comment, Tia-MZ.

Look, there's Ms. Delk.

She's basically the grandmother
of this whole neighborhood.

She used to hand out
cookies to the kids.

- Hey, Ms. Delk.
- I would love to talk to her.

Wait. Are "cookies" code for "drugs"?

Hell no! Not in this case.

Hey, Ms. Delk.

- Hold up! Buck Russell! The
mayor is back in town. - Aw!

- Who are these guys?
- Oh, that's Hash Brown and Sneaky.

These is two former
business associates of mine.

- Oh, former, former.
- Hey, fellas. Goodbye.

Wait. Hang on, hang on. Do you guys
own businesses in the neighborhood?

We more like freelance operators, baby.

Yeah, yeah. We freelance. Hello, Buck.

Do you think your girl will be interested
in some recently owned jewelry?

- Oh, wow. Let me see.
- We in a need-to-sell situation.

Hey, man, she don't want none of that,

and she don't want
them bootleg-ass jeans

and that knock-off cologne
that smells like baby diapers.

- How about a gun?
- Yeah, we got plenty of guns.

A gun? Bye.

W-What about a brand-new attitude?!

Hey, Ms. Delk, could you
talk to my niece, Tia?

Of course. Would you like one
of my famous oatmeal raisins?

Those look delicious.

Sister Delk, you
better not be down here,

passing off my recipe as your own.

I came up with adding the maple syrup.

You don't own maple syrup.

Well, I'll tell you what
I do own... your behind.

- South Side.
- What?!

No, thank you. No, no, no, no.

You always trying to
take away stuff from me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Easy, easy, easy, now.

Now, be careful.

You only got one real hip
between the both of you.

Oh, no, you didn't. I know you ain't...

Tia, stop filming, and
get me a barbecue fork!

Now, that's disrespectful right there.

WorldStar!

Man, Uncle Buck,

they beat you like you stole something.

Black-on-black-on-black crime.

You're like Fox News in
skinny jeans. You know that?

Hey, Buck, we're out of onions.

Yeah, if you had your bike, you
could go to the store and get some.

Well, I have a car now.

You better not let Popcorn know.

Come on, Tia. Before
I die, you're gonna see

something positive about
this neighborhood. Let's go.

Ooh!

- Hey, guys, check me out.
- Whoa.

Hey, lady, what'd you do with my mom?

I know, honey. I saw it. It's different.

But, you know, you just got to own it.

I'm just trying to work it
and own it, work it and own it.

Maizy likes it, don't you, baby?

Yeah, I like it. It
looks like I drew you.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I'm starting to think the
problem isn't this neighborhood.

It's you, 'cause everywhere I
take you, something goes wrong.

Then maybe I should
just go off on my own.

I don't think so.

Why? Are you trying to
say I'm not safe here?

No. It... It... It's safe.

Okay, then let me get some interviews.

I'll start with those
ladies on the corner.

- They seem friendly, waving at
all the cars going by. - Hi!

No, no, no. Give me that camera.

We got onions to get.

- Hey, Jasmine and Cookie!
- Hi!

Dad, when are you
gonna get the bike back?

I told you I was gonna get the bike

once this batch of ribs is finished.

Then we got to clean up,

pack everything away, say our goodbyes.

But by then, Popcorn is gonna be gone.

I can't plan my life
around his schedule.

I think I made it better.

Will, I don't know what to do.

If you're not happy with
it, do something about it.

I will do something about this

if you do something about that.

I hate that horn.

I know that you guys were young,
but what were you thinking?

You're right, Patti LaBelle.

I think it's time for both of
us to get some "New Attitudes."

It was sitting right there, honey.

Come on, Miles. Let's go get that bike.

Ah, yes!

I can't believe Daddy just
called me Patti LaBelle.

I like her pies.

Ah, A-Train. Say "What's
up" to Fish Stick.

Popcorn.

'Sup, Willy Nilly!

My name is Will. Look,
we're not kids anymore.

We all know this is my bike,
so just... give it back.

I don't think so, man.

I put a lot of love into
this little baby right here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see.
New chain, banana seat.

The tassels are dope.

But... it's still my bike.

All right, man, I tell you
what, you can buy it back.

I mean, you're a big-time
architect, Willy Nilly,

owning all them museums and buildings.

That's not really how
architecture works.

Listen, I'll sell it
back to you for $20,000.

Dad, just take the bike.

Yeah, I'd like to see that.

Just take it, man. Take the bike.

I'm not gonna fight you for
it. That would be ridiculous.

Listen, if it means that
much to you, you keep it.

I knew it. The same old Willy Nilly.

The bike's not worth fighting over, son.

You get that, right?

Sure. Whatever.

Uncle Buck, give me my camera.

No. The next thing
this camera's recording

is gonna be decent and uplifting,

something that the
Winans will sing about.

You know who I'm talking about?

Hey, Buck, a little help?

I'm just trying to get this
over to my mama's house.

Here you go, Tia.

Yo, Roger, we're gonna help you,

but I need to know, is this legit?

Is this your couch,
or are you stealing it?

Look, man, if you don't want
to help me, that's fine, man.

You don't have to insult me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I'm sorry, man, but a
lot's riding on this.

Look, film this.

Come on. Get this side.
Let's do this quick.

"People moving couches...

the untold story of the
South Side of Chicago."

Hey!

Hey! They're stealing my couch!

Damn, Roger. I asked you.

Yeah, but you wouldn't help me do it.

And you're on your own.

Hey!

Tia, run!

- Are you with the news?
- Yes.

Well, let me put some lipstick on first.

Alexis.

This is how I handled it.

I put on a hat. Don't judge me.

I would love to, Ziggy
Marley, but I can't,

'cause I don't have the bike,
and I've completely lost Miles.

Y'all lost Miles? Good.

Well, y'all won't be
mad that I lost Tia.

- What's happening?
- It's fine, Alexis.

The neighborhood is perfectly safe.

Safe, my ass. Let's find
the kids and go home.

They got old ladies
fighting, couch thieves.

You gone Rasta.

This neighborhood let me down.

Man, Google was right.

Look, I wanted to show Tia
that it ain't all bad down here.

There's a lot of nice people down here.

Move, kid. Get out the way.

I see Tia!

- Where?
- Right there.

Come on.

Okay, that's it.

I told you my niece ain't
one of your customers.

- Uncle Buck...
- No, let me handle this.

First, I'm gonna kick
Sneaky's ass for an appetizer,

and then I'm gonna whup
Hash Brown for dinner.

Really?

Yeah. What's happening?
What's happening, huh? Huh?

All right, guys, guys,
guys, we can work this out.

There's no need to resort to violence.

Dad, look. I got the bike back.

You going down, little dude.

Hey, you touch my kid, I will take
your head off and show it to you.

Really?

Brace yourself, fool.
Here come the Furious Five.

- I don't even know what that means.
- You gonna know after I kick your ass.

It was a great party till
these Russell boys showed up.

That's why we don't have a Whole Foods.

- Hey, guys! Guys!
- Stop it.

They were just gonna teach
me how to play spades.

I thought you wanted me to learn
more about the neighborhood.

- I do.
- Then leave me alone and let me do it.

- Tia...
- Tia. Tia!

Man, this is wack! I'm out of here.

I don't think so.

Popcorn, I'm a grown-ass man now.

I'm not scared of you anymore.

So you can leave, but the
bike stays. You got it?

All right, but just let me get my tassels.
I mean, you know, they're custom.

I'm rocking the tassels now.

Keep it, then, man.

Just a stupid bike.

You used to call me Willy Nilly.

Now you can call me Black Vengeance!

Ain't that right, baby?

I think we should talk
about that at home.

- Okay. We'll talk about that at home.
- Yeah.

Let's go!

You should have seen Dad stand
up to Popcorn, Cousin Tony.

I never knew architects
could be so angry.

Yeah, that's what you do
when you love somebody.

You lose your damn mind.

Hey, it's been great having you here.

Don't let it be so long
before we see you again.

That's a promise, Cuz.

You ever get tired of "architecting,"

you can come work for me.

You're a first-rate grill man.

My dad's great,

and he doesn't have to
put his foot in it either.

That's just nasty.

All right, uh, suburbs, huh?

Hand me that cooler over there.

All right.

Alexis, why are you wearing a hat?

I want to get a picture of
your new 'do for my Instagram.

Looks like rain.

Rain, my ass. You don't
like your hair, do you?

No, she doesn't.

Somebody had to say it.

Why didn't you just tell me?

I was faking the funk. I'm so sorry.

I just wanted to be
a part of all of this.

Ain't got to impress me.

You're Will's wife,
which means we're family.

Wrong with you?

There you are.

God, I can't shake you.

I'm sorry that I smothered you today.

I just wanted you to see
this place the way I see it.

And I know things got a little crazy.

Tell me about it.

And I know you're gonna
do that documentary

- the way you want to do it.
- True.

But all I ask is that you be fair.

All I can promise is
that I'll be honest.

- Can you lie for $50?
- No.

$75?

Okay, just do what you want to do,

'cause I ain't have $50 anyway.

Hello, everybody. I'm Tia Russell.

Your uncle still owes me money.

He owes me money, too.

Anyways, I made this documentary
for a class at school.

It's about all of you.
I hope you like it.

If you turn on a TV these days,

all you see about
neighborhoods like Wright Park

is the bad stuff.

That's what I expected to see.

And to be honest, I did see
some of those bad things.

Hey, that's me!

Hey!

Hey! They're stealing my couch!

And then I saw some bad things

that turned out to be not so bad.

We've been fighting for 40 years.

We love each other.
She's like my big sister.

Aww!

Heifer, I'm younger than you.

Where's my cane?

But most of all,

I saw good things, things
that don't make the news.

The elevator's broken, but
I'm only on the fifth floor.

- Busted.
- Damn!

Man, how'd she learn how
to play spades so quick?

I told you she was the chosen one.

You didn't tell me that.

- Whoa! That's us!
- What?

We're about to blow up!

Follow me on my Instagram, dawg.

And those good things
outweighed the bad 1,000:1,

especially when it comes to family.

Best barbecue in town,
baby, right here at Tony's.

Tony's. Step on up.

- To the chef, man, come on.
- Thank you, Uncle Tony.

- Thank you.
- Uncle Tony!

Uncle Tony!

Yo, Russell, family!

Back in Chi-town.

I thought I wasn't connected
to this place, but I am,

because two of the greatest
people I know came from here...

my dad and my Uncle Buck.

Make way for the mayor.

Ah, and Black Vengeance!

Two grown men riding a kid's bike?

Pbht! That's ridiculous. What?

So before you judge a
place, you need to spend

some time there and
get to know the people.

The fact of the matter is,
sometimes Google is wrong.

South Side represent!

Ow, ow, ow!

Uncle Buck, these old
ladies got your number.

I could have took them out,

but they ganged up on
me and they had sticks.

Ooh! That was solid contact.

That was a lucky shot. But see?

I got her Spanx and some of her wigs.

I got that wig now!

That gave me the leverage.

This is better than WWE.

Uncle Buck, this is where you go down.

Ooh!

And never gets up.

I was playing possum.

Now, turn that off and go to bed.

I don't think so. We're
not afraid of you anymore.

You should be. I make your food.

- That is a good point.
- Yeah.

Something to think about!