All language subtitles for Shazam.2019.1080p.BluRay.x264.DTS-FGT

Thad...

I said no toys
at Grandfather's.

But it's Christmas.

- Stop it!
- Hey.

Hey, Dad!

Hey! Thad,

you can't go crying to
other people all the time.

A man needs to know when
to stand up for himself.

Dear Magic-Isn't-Real Ball,

will Thad ever be a man?

Ouch.

"Outlook not so good."

You broke it.

Dad? Sid?

Someone help me!

Help!

Hello?

Thaddeus.

Thaddeus Sivana.

Who are you?

How do you know my name?

I am the last of
the Council of Wizards.

Sworn to protect the realms
from the Seven Deadly Sins.

But years have passed,

and I grow weak.

That is why
I seek a champion

to inherit my magic.

You want me to do magic?

With this,

all of my powers
will become yours.

Ah. But first...

you must demonstrate
that you're pure of heart

and strong in spirit.

He lies.

Don't be his champion.

We can give you power.

Take the eye.

Take it.

Your father thinks
you're weak.

Show him your power.

Take the eye.

No!

What?

What happened?

Only the purest of hearts
can resist their temptations.

But you,

you will never be worthy.

Wait.

- I'm good enough, I swear!
- What?

Let me back in!

Calm down, Thad!

- Don't open the door!
- Stop it!

- Calm down.
- Stop!

Hey, I'm gonna kill you,
you little freak!

Stop... Oh!

I was just there.

This man, this wizard,
he took me to a castle and...

Stop. Stop!

Stop it!

You miserable, whiny,
little shit!

You could have killed us!

Do you understand that?

Dad?

Dad!

Dad?

You're okay.

You're gonna be okay.

You did this.

You did this!

No.

Dad.

Your magic grows weak.

Soon, you won't be able to
contain us.

Seeking Spell,

find me one soul
who is worthy.

No matter
how long it takes.

Holy moly! The boys in blue!

Sure glad to see you.

I called as soon as I saw.

They're in there.

You stay here.

Police!

I saw 'em hide
back in there.

- Police, coming in!
- Police!

- There's nobody here.
- What do you mean?

- It's a closet.
- You really bought that, huh?

- Hey, no, no, no!
- Hey!

Stop, stop, stop!

Open this up
right now, kid.

That's a federal offense, kid.
You can't do that!

Do not go in that car.

Come on,
open the door. Please.

Please, come on.

Open this, right now!

Very good, very funny.

Very funny. That's great.
That's hilarious.

Uh, Dispatch, we need backup at the
Laurelwood shopping center, please.

Dispatch, cancel that request.

Some kid stole
our walkie-talkies.

Walkie-talkies?
How old are you?

No, no, no.

That's my lunch, kid!

Miss Batson...

I've been looking for you.

No. Gosh.

It's me. It's Billy.

Okay.

I want the tiger.

I know, honey, I know.
But Mom's not exactly going pro here.

We got one!

But I wanted a tiger.

Oh, but this is
the real prize, baby. See?

You can use that
your whole life.

You'll always find your way.

I can't let
the ball get away.

Mom?

Mom!

Mom!

Hey.

Who are you with, bud?

Yeah, he says
it's Billy Batson.

Hey, don't worry, kid.

I'm sure she'll come looking
before too long, okay?

They always do.

Mom, I'm home.

Yes?

Yeah, uh,
is this Rachel Batson?

Who's asking?

Um...

Yeah, see, the thing is...

I think you're my mom.

You sure about that?

Sorry to bother you.

Just had to take my lunch, huh?

You save me any fries?

Foster home in Pittsburgh reported
you missing two weeks ago.

You're sending me back?

No.

They don't want you.

- Harsh.
- You laugh,

but you've run from foster homes
in six counties, Mr. Batson.

From good people

who want you,
all in pursuit of someone

who arguably does not.

It's time someone looked you in the
eye and told it to you straight.

I don't need parents
to play make-believe with.

- I got a mom.
- Yes.

You're some detective.

Seventy-three Batsons

between the ages of 28 to 40,
and you've crossed out every one.

She's still out there.
I know it.

There's a couple outside,
Mr. Batson.

They run a group home.

I can take care of myself.

When you're 18.

Until then, I won't have you
living on the streets,

looking for someone
who never looked for you.

Give these people
a chance.

'Cause that's what
they're giving you.

You're out of options.

I'm gonna skip the spiel.

Just know that me and
Rosa, we get it.

We were foster kids
back in the day.

Ooh, back in the Dark Ages.

Girl, I'm young at heart.

I got my finger
on the pulse.

Yeah, that's a reference

to his blood pressure because he's old.

Billy, do you have
any food allergies?

Gonna wish you did.
Darla's cooking.

What?

We know how
overwhelming it can all be.

New house, new faces.

All up in your face.

Just take it
at your own speed.

Hello?

We're home.

That's what happens
when you suck!

So much
for the welcome party.

Yeah, that thing
growing out of the couch

would be Eugene.

Is that him?

Oh, my gosh! Billy!

Whoa!
Slow down, slow down.

Welcome home!

- And that's Darla.
- I'm Darla.

Big hugger.

I noticed.

Die, die, die!

He doesn't mean that.
It's a game.

Hey.

No sodas after dark,
remember?

Whoa. When did it get dark?

Oh, the poster.
I made you one.

Come look! Oh, no!

Sorry, Pedro must've been
working out.

His goal is to get swole.

Just one hit!
Just one hit!

Oh...

Here.

Yes, exactly why your math department
is so uniquely suited for me.

Shut up! No!

I can't even
with Eugene right now.

I'm sorry. Mary, hi.
College interview.

I'm Billy.

What am I
most excited about?

Oh! What a great question.
I was hoping you'd ask.

What am I most
excited about?

Mention you're a foster kid.
Colleges eat that up.

What I'm most excited about
is the campus experience.

As a foster child, I'm a big believer
in finding family and friends

in the most unlikely
of places.

I'm gonna miss that girl
so much.

It's Caltech.
It's a very prestigious school.

And also all the way
in California.

But we don't have to talk
about that right now.

It's a tough subject
for me.

Do you like vegan food?

- Mmm-mmm.
- Because, see, I love animals.

Oh, no! The Tofurky!

Oh, no, we may have to eat
a real turkey!

- Is that...
- It's okay.

Come, I'll show you
your room.

It's a bit of a madhouse,
I know, but it's fun.

Time to dance
on your grave!

Watch the bum step. Pedro...

Say hi to Billy.

Don't take it personally.
He's like that with everyone.

Freddy.

This is Billy Batson.

Make sure you make him
feel at home.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

Maybe don't say anything
too weird?

Oh, one weird thing is,

did you know that Romans used to
brush their teeth with their urine?

And apparently, it works.

Yep. Um...

Oh, it's a long way down.

Trust me, I speak
from experience.

Victor pushed me.

They seem nice,
but don't buy it.

It gets real Game of Thrones
around here.

What?

Dude, I'm just
messin' around.

It's, um, terminal cancer.
I only have three months.

Kidding, again!
You look at me, and you're like,

"Why so dark? You're a disabled foster kid.
You've got it all."

Right?

Oh, yeah,
that's the old Batarang.

I mean, it's a replica,
but feel how sharp.

I could kill you in your
sleep with that thing.

You more of a Supes guy?

Yeah, me, too.
Behold, the holy grail.

One nine-millimeter round
shot at Superman himself.

It's legit.

Probably worth, I don't know,
five, six hundred, maybe more.

What's in the bag?

Hey.

Hey, it's all good.
It's good to maintain boundaries.

You don't gotta talk
so much, you know.

Anyway, this place is great.
You're gonna love it.

Dinner!

All hands on deck.

Thank you for this family.

Thank you for this day.

Thank you for this food,
even if it's not steak filet.

Big school.
2,000 students, you might think,

"Wow, so many strangers."

But not if you think of them
as possible future friends.

Then it's,
"Wow, so many friends."

The principal, her name's Shirley.
She's the best.

Next.

This is
our security scanner.

Like in an airport.
It's totally safe.

I know what it is.

- Does she always do this?
- Mmm-hmm.

Silence makes me
uncomfortable.

She's almost never
uncomfortable.

Have a good first day,
big brother.

Look, you don't have to
hug me all the time.

We're not actually
brother and sister, so...

I'm sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I didn't mean
to make her...

I was overwhelmed, honestly.

He said
I must be pure of heart.

He call himself a wizard.

He even dressed like a wizard
from Harry Potter or some...

But you're saying that other
people have experienced this?

In a sense, yes.
Do you remember what he said to you?

He tested me.

There were these statues.

Their eyes, it's like they were
looking at me, making me think things.

Horrible things.

And do these approximate
what you saw?

Yes, that's exactly
how I remember it.

I don't understand.
How do you know...

Recurrent imagery has proven very
common in cases of mass hysteria.

Mass hysteria?

I know. The term's
a bit theatrical.

But take UFO sightings,
for example.

Lights in the sky,
flying saucers.

Isolated incidents of people
who do not know each other...

The symbols.

Ask her about the symbols.

Sorry, Ms. Kwan.
But as an example of recurrent imagery,

maybe you'll recall seeing

these symbols
before the alleged abduction.

I don't remember
any symbols, no.

I think I got it on video.
There was something, um...

I remember the numbers
on my alarm clock.

They kept shifting.

Video?

Show me the video.

Uh, Ms. Kwan,
this is Dr. Sivana.

Um, one moment, I can send it.

Hello? Oh, my God!

Who's there?

Hello? What's going on?
What's happening?

I'm going to call
the police!

Then this blinding light
all around me

and I felt like I was getting
pulled down into something.

It felt like a temple
carved inside a mountain.

He looked exactly what you'd expect
from a guy who calls himself a wizard.

...and how you were brought
there to save the world.

- Wearing a cape.
- And there's no ceiling.

We ran
the numbers again...

Dr. Sivana!

I appreciate your enthusiasm,
but you're funding my project.

And when I'm interviewing,
I don't wanna be interrupted.

Fifty-six recorded abductions.

- I never saw it.
- Saw what?

Doctor, what is all this?

All these years...

I was convinced
I had the incorrect sequence.

Or perhaps the wrong symbols

to open the door.

But on that woman's
alarm clock,

the seven symbols.

The sequence
repeated itself seven times.

That's the difference.

Is this
some sort of joke?

It may seem that way to you

because we're not in actuality
studying mass hysteria.

What all these people
have seen,

every single one of them,
is absolutely real.

An alarm clock
malfunctions

and your first thought is
it's proof of a wizard?

- Hmm.
- Come on, Dr. Sivana.

You can't believe
any of this is real.

Why, yes.

Yes, I do.

I've been waiting for
this moment for so long...

and now here we are.

You don't remember me,
do you?

I remember you.

You were a boy.

And now you dare intrude
in my kingdom.

Do you know what it's like for a child
to be told you'll never be good enough?

No, you don't.

What you said to me all those years
ago made me realize who I really was.

And you know something?

I am not pure of heart.

The wizard
is too weak to stop us.

No!

No!

You never found
your champion.

But we found ours.

You are
the true champion.

They're using you.

You're nothing to them
but a means of escape.

Through you, they'll spread their
poison to everything they touch!

Make mankind
turn on each other!

You seek
a pure soul, old man,

but no one's worthy.

Flight or invisibility?

If you could have
one superpower,

flight or invisibility,
what would you pick?

I mean, everybody chooses flight.
You know why?

So they can fly away
from this conversation?

No, no.
'Cause heroes fly.

And who doesn't want people to
think they're a hero, right?

But invisibility, no way.

That's pervy.

Spying around on people who
don't even know you're there.

Sneaking around everywhere.
It's a total villain power, right?

Then they did this study,
and this is a real thing.

They asked people
the same question.

You know, what power
do you want?

But this time, they made it
so the answers were anonymous.

And most people,
since they knew

that it was secret,
said invisibility.

And I think that's 'cause
most people

don't feel like heroes
on the inside, deep down.

You're gonna run away.

I mean, you stole
my Superman bullet.

Dude, I get it.
I get it.

You've been screwed over
way too many times.

You don't trust anyone.

That's the thing about invisibility.
You end up all by yourself.

I didn't steal
your dumb bullet.

Hey. How was it today?

That good, huh?

Whoa!

Oh, my God! Freddy.

Are you okay?

- You okay?
- Yes. Yes.

What the hell?

- What is wrong with you two?
- Oh, ho!

No way that's gonna buff out.

You gonna pay
for that, Freeman?

For the dent you made
almost hitting me?

Yeah, sure. Um...

You guys take these?

Brett, stop!

Don't touch my brother!

What, do you need your fake
family to stand up for you?

- Stand up for yourself, Freeman.
- Yeah, huh?

Hey, Freeman.
Freeman, here, stand up.

Stand up for yourself.

What are you gonna do,
go home and cry to Mommy?

Oh, yeah.
You don't have a mommy.

Hey.

Man, sorry about that.

That wasn't fair,
but then again you don't fight fair, so...

Back off, assbags.
I know how to use these things.

Hey! He's getting away!
Where you going?

Freddy, are you okay?

Hey, let's go
through the back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nowhere to run!

Hey!

- Go, go, go!
- Grab him! Move!

- Get out the way.
- Move, woman!

Whoa!

No, no, no.

You're dead, kid.

Yeah, you think
you're funny.

We know where you go to
school, buddy!

Next stop,
30th Street Station.

Change for the regional
rail lines.

Uh... Hello?

What's going on?

Help!

Okay.

Holy moly.

Hello?

What the hell?

Who's doing this?

Hi. Um...

I was supposed to get off
at 30th.

Billy Batson.

How'd you know my name?

I am the last of
the Council of Wizards.

Keeper of
the Rock of Eternity.

Oh...

You're...

that guy.

Hey, listen, I don't have
any money.

Do not patronize me, boy.

You are standing
in the source of all magic.

The Rock of Eternity.
Seven thrones of seven wizards.

But long ago,
we chose a champion

and we chose recklessly.

He used his power for revenge,

releasing the Seven Deadly
Sins into your world.

Millions of lives were lost.

Entire civilizations
erased from existence.

That is why I vowed
never to pass on my magic

until I find
one truly good person.

Strong in spirit,

pure in heart.

Look, man,
maybe this is magic

and, I don't know,

but the people you're looking
for, good, pure people,

I'm not one of them.

I don't know
if anyone is, really.

You, Billy Batson,

are all I have.

All the world has.

Lay your hands on my staff.

Gross.

And say my name so my
powers may flow through you.

I open my heart to you,
Billy Batson.

And in so doing,
choose you as champion.

Thanks.

Real sweet of you, mister,
but I really gotta get going.

My brothers and sisters
were slain by the Sins.

Their thrones lie empty.

My magic
must be passed on.

Now, speak my name!

I don't know your name, sir.
We just met.

My name is...

Shazam.

Wait, for real?

- Say it!
- Okay!

Jeez.

So just say it? Like...

Shazam?

Yes!

Carry my name, and with it,
you carry all my powers.

The wisdom of Solomon,
the strength of Hercules,

the stamina of Atlas,
the power of Zeus,

the courage of Achilles,
and the speed of Mercury.

What happened to me?
Why am...

What did you do to me?
What did you do to my voice?

You have been transformed to your
full potential, Billy Batson.

With your heart,
unlock your greatest power.

The thrones of our brothers
and sisters await.

Get me outta here!

Dope!

My brother,
I applaud your choices today.

Gold shoes, gold belt,
white cape.

It shouldn't work,
but hot damn, it does!

Ow!

Hey!

Hey, babe!

Yes, Officer.

I'm aware he's run away
in the past.

Twenty-three times?

Guy's got no social media presence.
At all.

The guy is a ghost.

You know, guys,
I'm happy to look for Billy.

More than happy.

But no, you gotta wash
the dishes.

That's what's
more important.

"What are you gonna do,
Freddy, run after him?"

Very funny.

No, I said, don't scream.

- Uh... Victor? Victor!
- No, no!

- Victor!
- It's me. It's Billy.

It's Billy!

You asked me flight or invisibility.
I thought that was stupid,

but now I look like this
and I need your help.

Meet me back here
after lights-out?

'Sup, bud?
You all right?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just...

I'm really sad
because Billy's gone.

And, you know, maybe it's my fault.
Maybe I did it.

Uh, you know, maybe I snore.

Hey, hey, hey.
Not your fault, son, all right?

We'll find him, 'kay?

You don't snore that bad.

But you kinda smell.

Oh, thank God!

Hey. Stop right there.

How do I know you're not a
supervillain using telepathic abilities

to make me believe
that you're Billy? Huh?

What?

All I have to do
is press "dial" on this thing.

No! No, I have proof.
I have proof. Here.

Look, I lied, okay?
I took your bullet.

- Oh, no! No, no, no.
- No!

Stupid adult hands.

But you saw it.

You saw it, right?
Look, Freddy, I swear. It's me, okay?

Look, I know we're not really
close friends or anything,

but you're the only person
that I know

that knows anything about
this caped crusader stuff.

- That's Batman.
- What?

Forget it.

Can I...

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Oh... Oh, my God!

It's crazy, right?

What are your superpowers?

Superpowers? Dude, I don't even
know how to pee in this thing.

Okay. Can you fly?

Okay!

Let's do this.

How do we do this?

Just, um, like, Superman it.

Oh, my God.
Obviously, you have to jump.

Come on.

How is any of this obvious?

Okay.

Try, uh, to believe
that you can fly. Okay?

I read this deep dive

into peer-reviewed studies
about superpowers

and in six out of ten,
belief is the key.

Belief. Belief. Belief. Okay.
Okay. I believe I can fly.

I believe I...

I believe I can fly.

I believe...

Whoa!

Did you believe?

Yeah.

You wanna try invisibility?

How do I do...

Forget it. You know, okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, my God! It worked!

Where'd you go?

I'm right here.
You can't see me?

Where?

I'm invisible!

I'm right here. Over here.

I'm invisible!
I'm invisible!

Hey!

Nice outfit, dipshit.

I might've been
testing invisibility

and super-intelligence
at the same time.

Freeman, I'm gonna come
over there and beat you.

Oh, my God!
The lightning emblem!

It was staring us right in
the face the whole time.

Literally!

Okay, okay.

Clearly, we gotta give you

- a lightning-themed superhero name.
- Yeah.

Oh, right.

Hey, yo! Back...

off.

Hyper-speed, check.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

I thought you were the one
who was screaming.

I doused him with pepper spray.

Smart move.

Yeah, hey, Mr. Mugger Guy.
Give the old lady her purse back.

I'm your age.

And he didn't get a chance to take
it 'cause I didn't let him take it.

Good. Yeah, good.
You're really on top of this stuff.

And that should teach you
that old ladies...

Regular-aged ladies like yourself
don't need your protecting, right?

So get woke, bro.

I'm sorry, who are you?

His name is Thundercrack,

hero to the people with all the power
and speed of lightning all in one.

Dude, that sounds
like a butt thing.

Mister Philadelphia.

That's a cream cheese thing,
dude!

Power Boy.
'Cause he's got all the powers.

'Cause sometimes pepper spray
can't protect against evil.

Power Boy, do you know
this child?

Like a teeny little bit.
I don't really know...

Yeah. He's like
a little miniature manager.

I'm his manager.

But Power Boy's not gonna work, either,
okay? So work on something else.

Hey, bud, what could...

Electricity manipulation,
hyper-speed, super-strength.

Dude, you're stacked!

You're almost as cool
as Superman. Almost.

I didn't see you.
I don't know what just happened here.

I don't wanna know.
Just don't hurt me.

I'm not doing it
for the money.

Thank you for
your kind donation.

No, no, no, but if you
ever need any more help

just look for the superhero
that still can't fly.

Forget flying, man.
We just made 73 bucks!

Seventy-three bucks?

Come on!

Hey, wait a minute.

I just got an idea.

I'd like to purchase some of
your finest beer, please.

I don't know about this.
I mean, we don't have a fake ID even.

Freddy, Freddy,
would you relax?

Look at me. I am the fake ID.

Everything from the register!

Go, go! Now!

Come on! We don't have any time.
Let's go. Move!

We want it all! Hurry.

This is your chance.

Oh! Okay.

Come on, come on, come on!
Let's do this!

That's it. That's it.

Gentlemen,

why use guns when we can
handle this like real men?

Billy, look out!

Bullet immunity.
You have bullet immunity!

I'm bulletproof.

Today is December 8th,

and this is video proof of
authenticity.

Shoot him again.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here, here. Go. Both of you!

Come on. Go to town.

Wait, wait, wait.

We still don't know if
the suit is bulletproof,

or if you are.

Shoot him in the face.

Shoot me in the face.
In the face?

It kinda tickles.

You're dead.

- Sorry about your window.
- Have a good night!

But you're welcome
for not getting robbed!

Come on!
Let's get outta here.

Hey.

- To fighting bad guys.
- Yeah.

Bleh!

Ugh!

That tastes
like actual vomit.

Hey, do you know
habanero jerky,

if you eat enough of it,
it can burn a hole in your stomach?

Worth it.

Yeah.
Probably not you, though.

You've probably got
stomach superpowers.

Probably. Oh, hey.

What's up?
I'm a superhero.

Yeah, his name is, uh,

Captain Sparklefingers.

No, it's not. No, it's not!
That's not my name.

Hey, we should hang out.
We're, like, the same age.

Oh, okay. I'm out.

Hey, wait up!

I mean,
it's a pretty sick view.

I totally get why Rocky was
training so hard to get up here.

You know, I like you like this.
This is so cool.

I mean, no offense,

but, like, at first you were kinda
like the opposite of how Darla is.

A dick?

Your words.
Not mine.

But yeah.

All right, well,
I feel like every criminal

is either on drugs or asleep
by now.

Wanna head home?

Looking like this?

Well, yeah,

I mean, usually,
we'd have a lair to go back to,

but that's long-term.

Right now, we have
a bunk bed.

Just scares me thinking of
him out there all alone.

This is what he does, Rosa.

Difference is,
when they find him,

we'll be the first
to take him back.

With open arms.

Didn't even make it two days.
Not even two days.

Baby, we did our fair share
of running off back when.

At least I did.

- Yeah.
- Even Mary did it.

Hmm? Twice.

That second time
she ran off,

you said something to me
I'll never forget.

You said,

"It's not a home
until you call it a home.

It's something you choose."

All we can do is give him
a place full of love.

Whether he chooses to call it a
home, that's up to him.

Yeah.

You gonna help me
with this tree?

This tree's so sad.

Hello?

Got lost
finding the bathroom.

Oh, okay, Freddy, sweetie.
Good night.

- Good night.
- Night.

Freddy, who is that?

It's Billy. He's just really
tired and he has laryngitis.

What? Laryngitis!

I'm just kidding!
I'm just kidding.

He's really, really tired,
and he wants to go to beddy-bye.

- Beddy-bye? Who says beddy-bye?
- Just hide, hide.

Billy, you're back.
Let us see you.

We've been so worried
about you.

I told you
this was a bad idea!

Freddy?

Freddy,
what happened to the stairs?

Mmm!

Hey! Covering her mouth
like you're gonna kidnap her

is not gonna make her
less scared, okay?

Darla, it's me. It's Billy.
I know I don't look like me.

A wizard made me
look like this.

Maybe don't start
with "wizard."

It's just gonna make her
more confused.

Some old guy brought me to a temple
and he made me say, "Shazam."

Rosa!

Verbally triggered
body-manipulation properties!

You can switch
by saying, "Shazam."

Baby, was that you?
Are you okay?

Uh...

I was screwing in a bulb.

Listen to me, Darla. You cannot
tell anybody about this, all right?

But it's Billy.
He's a hero.

Yeah, but if a supervillain
finds out that he's a hero,

that endangers us, okay?

A hero's loved ones are
the perfect bad guy target.

I mean, is she even good
at keeping secrets?

- Moderate.
- No.

Oh, God.

Okay, listen, D,

you cannot tell a single soul about
this, all right? Please?

Why? What if it's people
we trust?

Because good sisters
don't tell secrets.

- I'm a good sister.
- Yeah, you are.

You know what'd make you
an even better sister?

Is if you fixed
the doorknob for us, okay?

Yeah.

- Sweet dreams.
- Sweet dreams. Bye.

- See you in the morning.
- Good night.

Hello, sir.
How may I help you?

Hi. Sir?

Sir, you can't go in there.
Excuse me!

You cannot go in there!

Sorry I'm late.

Thad, this is for
board members only.

I'm aware of that, Father.

Now, that night in the car.

I swore to you I saw something,
but you never believed me.

So much easier to blame me,
wasn't it?

And say that if I hadn't
screamed that night,

you'd still have your legs.

Well, now I have proof.

That's enough, Thad.

Dear Sid, you think?

You know, even before the
accident, you belittled me.

Don't make me
throw you outta here, Thad.

You don't need
to make a scene.

Oh, brother,

the scene
has only just begun.

Ask that if you can
throw me out.

What?

Ask the ball
if you're man enough

to throw me
out of this room.

Let me spoil it for you.

Outlook not so good.

I've come here during the
season of giving to give you...

what you deserve.

Run!

Oh, my God! No!

No! No!

Help!

Somebody!

Help me!

You can't go crying to
other people all the time.

What sin best befits you,
Father? Hmm?

I'll give you anything.

Money.

The company.
You want the company?

There it is.

Greed.

Do you honestly think

all this material
you've accumulated

amounts to actual power?

This is power.

More than you ever had.

More than anyone has.

There is one more powerful.

The wizard
found his champion.

Kill the champion before he
learns his true potential,

or he will defeat you.

Show me where to find him.

Oh, Greed,

you can have him.

No.

No. Oh, no!

No! No! No!

Family
is more than just a word.

At Sivana Industries,
our focus is family.

Uh, Burke.

Where's the truck?

I can hear it.

Oh, my God!

My truck!

- My truck!
- Are you kidding?

You know, guys,

I don't think
that's gonna buff out.

Hey.

Making the crippled kid
do the dirty work. Wow!

I'm a better lookout.
I can play innocent.

And I can't?

Your face gives off
a very strong vibe

of someone who's
hatching schemes.

- My face? This face?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

You boys got a hall pass?

Oh, us? Yeah. Always.

You!

You look like you're
up to something.

Me? Up to something?

No. Never am I up
to something.

Our dad's picking us up.
He got held up at the...

The business office.

The business office, huh?

Sure, kid.

Look, parents or guardians

must appear physically
to check out students.

Gotcha.

Okay, well,
you hear that, Dad?

- Hey!
- Shazam!

Well, hey there, son,

and hey there,
other son that I also have

that's related to that son
I just passed in the hallway.

I'm so sorry I'm late.
I got held up at the business office,

doing all the work stuff.

This is the security guard
all the kids admire so much.

Oh.

Actually, that's the other one.
This one sucks.

That's not funny.

I'm gonna talk to him
about that. I apologize.

Anyway, this is me
appearing physically

to check my sons
out of school.

So, thank you so much for keeping 'em
safe, Detective Moron.

It's Moran.

- You ready?
- Algebra!

Science!

English!

Health!

Oh. Oh.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry!

More powerful
than a locomotive.

Locomotive. What are you?
An old prospector?

Can leap tall buildings
in a single bound.

Single bound.

Oh!

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

I'm sorry, people. Hi.

- Your phone's charged.
- Wow!

Your phone's charged.

Your phone's charged.

You really need like a mic drop
catchphrase after you do some cool shit.

I've been thinking
about that.

What about this?

"That's why you don't mess with
electricity."

Catchphrases obviously aren't
one of your superpowers.

And your phone's charged.

- Well, you think you can do better?
- What the hell?

Let there be light.

Yeah, yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby, okay.

How do I... Never mind.

Shazam!

Shazam!

What'd you see?
What'd you see? Were there boobies?

You see nipples?
Why aren't you talking?

We're gonna need more money.

Why? You were in there
for, like, five minutes.

Dude, they were
very convincing!

Oh, get it, get it!

Go, go, go!

No!

Stop! No!

- I'm not even looking!
- Stop!

- I'm not even looking! Oh!
- Stop!

- Why?
- Oh, and done!

Finished him.

A lair.

Yes.

And obviously,
we're gonna have to

- be making this purchase anonymously.
- Mmm.

Obviously.

And, um, if you have
a location on a cliff.

Like a castle-esque
type thing.

- Overlooking some water.
- Overlooking some water,

seas, below it.
Rough, you know...

Like a waterfall,

- so you can drive into...
- Waterfall, yeah. If you... Yeah.

Look, Maximum Voltage,
is it?

You can call me Max.

Look, Max, why don't you
just start with

how many bedrooms
you're looking for?

- One!
- Seven.

- One?
- Seven?

What, am I running
a foster home now?

Have you seen the one where
he throws the football into space?

So dope.

Hey, you guys gotta wonder
who's filming those, right?

I mean, that's bravery
in and of itself.

I mean, is it, though?

Yeah. I'd actually argue
maybe even more brave.

Holding a camera?

Staring in the face
of danger.

Like some weirdo fanboy.

Hey, Freeman.

I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

What, is your bestie gonna hit
us with a wheelchair this time?

No, maybe not him,
but I have another best friend

who might hunt you down
and destroy both of you.

Okay, Freddy.

You may have heard of him.
The Human Power Storm.

Frequency Flinger.
Sir Zaps-A-Lot.

Yeah. He's a man
of many names.

You know
the Red Cyclone?

You? My ass you do.

Oh, we're a lot closer
than you think.

Maybe even at this
very moment.

Prove it.

I will, tomorrow.
Tomorrow he's gonna come to lunch.

Right, right, Billy?

Oh, yeah, and then Superman's gonna
be bringing us dessert, right?

Tomorrow at lunch.
You'll see.

And when he doesn't show,
then we'll kick your ass.

So, wait, my identity's a secret
so no one I know can get hurt.

Except when it makes you look
cool, then it's all good.

Billy, it's not like
they're supervillains.

They're just super douchebags.

So, you're breaking
your own rule?

Got it.

This thing is as
much as mine as it is yours.

Starting to think
you think it's all your thing.

Billy, you're still
gonna do it, though, right?

I mean, what would a good brother do?

All hands on deck.

Thank you for this family.
Thank you for this day.

Thank you for this food.
Sorry Billy's hand's on vacay.

Big news in Philly.
Got a costumed hero.

He's doing good.

Yeah,
but is he, though?

Ooh! Controversy. Into it.

Share with us
your perspective, Eugene.

Just saying, he's what?
Charging people's phones?

So what?
I can charge a phone with a plug.

Preach.

Pedro, any thoughts?

Costume's stupid.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Big white cape like he's
getting married or something.

What if he didn't get
to pick his costume?

Ever think about that?

You're a specialist, Freddy.
What do you think?

Yeah, Freddy,
let's manage to see the positive.

Okay, well,
I think it looks like

he doesn't have gratitude
for what he's been given.

Very specific.
All right.

Maybe to the superhero,

gratitude doesn't mean
having to be clingy.

Clingy?
Wow, interesting take.

You know,
maybe sometimes

a superhero just wants
a little me time.

You know, me time
could also be construed

as pushing away his family.

Family. Is that what
they are now?

It's a classic symptom
of "Superhero Syndrome."

Coined by German psychologist
Heinrich Von German-something,

where superpowers become
an all-consuming narcotic.

Son, we're still
eating dinner.

What he needs is a sidekick.

Name one cool sidekick.

Darla, why are you
so quiet over there, baby?

You're never at a loss
for words.

I'm eating.

Why am I still doing this?

Well,
you can't skip every day.

Not at your age.

But I'm not your age anymore.

But I can go with you.

We just gotta trick the guard
out, you know?

Billy, where are you going?

You're still gonna have
lunch with me, right?

Billy!

Sir Zaps-A-Lot's still gonna
eat in the cafeteria, right?

All right.

Did you check it to...

People typically give me
a little money, you know...

You're a sweet couple.
You guys have a good day.

Ooh!

- Oh, my God.
- Mary, are you okay?

How do you know my name?

Uh... How do I know
your name? Uh...

One of my superpowers
is name guessing.

Which is really weird, I bet.

Uh, it's not as cool as
super-strength or super-speed,

but it's really helpful
when I meet new people.

Are you hurt?

No, I'm okay.
Thank you. Um...

I just need a second to think.

This has been
such a weird day.

Um, using my powers
of super-observation,

I see that you're holding
a letter from a college

in your hand.

Are you upset
because you didn't get in?

I got in.

Well,
now my superpowers are failing me

and I am very confused.

Yeah. Me, too.

I don't know.
I know I should be excited

'cause this is my dream and I've
worked really, really hard for this,

but it's like...

I don't know. Leaving my family
does not feel fun, you know?

Could I give you
a little piece of advice?

Don't be worried
about everybody else.

Always look out
for number one.

Gandhi said that.

- I don't think he said that.
- Yeah, he did.

- Gandhi did not say...
- Somebody like Gandhi said that.

"Take care of number one."

It was a really wise...
It might've been Yoda.

- Listen.
- I'm sorry, no.

Agree to disagree.
The point is, you do you, you know?

You gotta look out for you.

And get as far away
from this place as you can.

I don't know if I want to.

Of course you do.
What're you gonna do?

You gonna live in a group home
for the rest of your life?

Look, families are for people

who can't take care
of themselves, okay? So...

And you can take care
of yourself.

Also,
look both ways when you cross the street.

I'll just call him.
I'll just make sure.

It's ringing.

Red Cyclone, hey!
Hey, what's going on?

Oh, that's crazy!
Yeah, it's Freddy, by the way.

Yeah, it's crazy!
Great story.

He's not talking to anyone.

I was!

I was! We're friends.
I know him, I do!

I know him! I know him!
Uh, yeah.

Shit.

Come on now.

♪ Hands!
Lightning with my hands! ♪

♪ Lightning with my hands! ♪

♪ Lightning with my hands! ♪

Hey. Hey.

Hey, young man!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are you doing?
I'm in the middle of a show right now.

How can I help you?

I just wanted to say thank you
for showing up to lunch today.

Yeah, I got a little something called
a, uh, suitcase wedgie, right?

I don't know if
you've ever heard of it,

but it's when someone grabs
your underwear like that

and holds you like a suitcase,
walks you down the hallway.

And this was my underwear.

Gross.

You said you'd come.

You said I would come!
I never said I was...

I'm a superhero, dude!

Well, you're acting
real heroic.

How much people
paying you today?

Listen, I have serious
responsibilities now, okay?

But that's cool because I can
carry that burden with my...

♪ Hands!
Lightning with my hands! ♪

Oh, man!

Holy moly.

Don't move! Nobody move!

Oh, no, no!

Oh, no, no, no!
Stay, stay! Stay!

Oh!

Oh, that looked like it hurt.

It's him!
It's that superhero guy!

Help us! Save us!

Come on!

Come on... Yeah.

What's he doing?
What's going on?

No way.

Oh, no, no.
Please don't make me do this.

God, this is
the worst idea ever!

I did it! I did it!

I got the bus! I got the bus.

Nobody move in there.

Oh, I gotta put this thing down.
I gotta put this thing down.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Doggy, doggy, you have to move.

Move! Move! Shoo! Shoo!

Please be a good dog,
good dog!

You're being a bad dog!

Go! Go!

Please go. Please move.

Yes, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

I was in the neighborhood,
you know, so I thought...

Thank you!

It was kind of
my fault anyway.

So, it seems Philadelphia has
gotten an early Christmas present

in the form of its
very own superhero.

And we're out.

- Thank you very much.
- Oh, of course, yeah.

Dude! Dude, dude!
Dude, did you see that?

Yeah. You electrocuted a bus
and almost killed these people.

And then I caught it!

Freddy, I caught a bus
with my bare hands, man!

I caught a bus
like people catch fly balls.

Like, who does that?
I do that!

Billy! You do nothing.

You take selfies
and make people pay you.

You know, forget it. I can't really
talk to you when you look like this.

You just wish it was you.

No shit!

You think?
I would kill to have what you have.

Because everything I do
is, like,

some desperate attempt
to get people to notice me.

To not feel sorry for me.

I mean, look at me! Look at me.
Do you even see me?

'Cause most people don't.
'Cause they don't want to.

And now you don't either.

I mean, you think
this is who you are?

I mean, Billy, you're 14,

and now you're no better
than the Breyers.

All this power,
and all you did

was turn into a show-off
and a bully.

Whatever, kid!

I do what I want!

And I'm, like,
mid-20s probably!

Maybe even, like, 30.

Chosen one.

The so-called perfect man.

Pure of heart.

Flawless in every way.

What made you so worthy?

I'm sorry, can I help...

Do you want an autograph
or something?

Give me your power.

Or die.

Oh, snap! You're, like,
a bad guy, right?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Before this gets really stupid for you,

you should know that
I'm basically invincible.

The weapons of man
draw no blood from our kind.

I said, stop right there!

The only thing
that extinguishes magic...

is magic.

Time to transfer
your power to me.

Oh, you did not see that one
coming, did you, grandpa?

Them's street rules.

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I never should've punched you
in the nuts like that.

That was totally my bad.

We can talk about this.

You grovel like a child.

That's because I am one.
I'm a kid!

You don't wanna hurt a kid,
do you?

I believe I can fly!
I believe I can fly, I can fly!

Freddy said if I believe
I can fly, then I can fly.

So I believe!
I believe! I believe!

Okay.

Superman!

Superman! What arm is it?

Why am I not flying?

Please, I don't wanna die!

I'm floating!

What the hell
was that?

I can fly!

Billy?

Freddy! I need your help!

You can fly?

Who's the other guy?

Santa!

So, like, what do you and Mrs.
Claus do in the summertime?

Well, in some ways,

Santa is always here for you.

Help Santa!

Santa needs help! Help!

Give us a shout
if you need us.

I'm just gonna chill in here for
a little while, if that's okay.

This is crazy.

This is crazy.
You don't have to fight this guy.

This isn't your job.
You can run, right?

Yes, you can run. Awesome!

Get back!

Get away!

- I'm Batman!
- Get him, Batman!

Oh, sorry.

Come on!

Shazam!

Billy!

Billy!

Billy, where are you?

Billy!

Where are you, Billy?

Billy, come on!

Billy. Where is he?

Supervillain.

Supervillain! Supervillain!

Worse. Much worse.

Radioactive anthromorph?
Psychic energy manipulator?

I won't let you read my mind.
My mind is blank. You can't get in.

I don't need to read
your mind.

Because you are
going to tell me.

Where is he?

Oh, my God,
honey, are you okay?

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

What happened?
Are you hurt?

Come inside.

We need
to have a talk.

Just don't be
so hard on him, okay?

Running out on us! Lying!

Huh? Then I get a call
from the school,

telling me
you've been cutting class!

Getting in fights!

Bill,
the man saved nine people.

Whoa! Is that...

I'm questioning his motive.

What's Freddy doing
with a superhero?

Or what's a superhero
doing with Freddy?

You remember dinner,

when Billy and Freddy
were arguing

like an old married couple,
like this?

When he rescued me,
he knew I lived in a group home.

He knew my name.
He called me Mary.

Wait, are you saying Billy's
the Human Power Storm?

Yes! You guys figured it out!

All on your own.
I didn't help.

- I didn't break any promises.
- You knew?

I'm a good sister!

I mean,
what were you thinking?

And then you bring
Freddy into it.

Give him some space, guys.
He's a little upset, okay?

Billy?

You're him.

You're the hero.

Yeah, well,
not anymore, so...

Why do you have my notebook?

Eugene finished your search.

Look, I'm not a hacker, okay?

But I have played
Watch Dogs and Uplink.

And maybe I did pick up a few
skills, which maybe did get me

into federal databases
most people can't get into.

Good for you,
but I'm gonna go.

Your parents' names
are Marilyn and C.C. Batson.

What?

You were born
in Zumbrota, Minnesota.

They divorced
when you were three.

Your mom moved here
that year.

Twenty months later,
you got lost.

You never found them

'cause your dad's been in
prison in Florida for ten years.

And your mom's...

What?

Is she dead?

She's two subway stops away.

What?

You know, you didn't find her because
she reverted to her maiden name.

Hey, Billy! Billy!

- Victor, get the keys.
- I got it.

Kids, stay here
in case Billy comes back.

Come on. Inside, let's go.

Wait. I thought
we were running after Billy.

No, we're gonna
wait here for now.

Billy?

Freddy?

Oh, how quaint.

Actually, I take that back.

What a shithole.

Just a second.

Hey, look, I'm late
for work already, all right?

We don't need any magazines or whatever.
Thanks, though.

Oh, I'm not.

You probably
don't recognize me...

but I found my way home.

Mom.

It's me.

Oh, God.

Is it?

Um... Hang on.

Who's at the door?

It's, um...

It's no one, Travis.

That wasn't Dad, was it?

No.

Listen, um...

It's really you, huh?

I didn't mean to run away.
You know that, right?

I let go, but it was
by accident.

Yeah, no. I know, yeah.

I saw you.

What?

I saw you after.

So, it was never your fault.

Look, I was 17, okay?
And my daddy kicked me out.

And your dad just decided
not to be a part of anything.

And I was hurting,
and I was screwed up.

- I want the tiger.
- I know.

I know, honey,

but Mom's not exactly
going pro here, okay?

Billy?

Billy!

Billy?

Jesus Christ.
Billy, this isn't funny!

Here you go, buddy.

That should warm you up.
Is that better?

Look, it's just once
I saw you with the police,

I realized that they could do

a better job taking care
of you than I ever will.

But you're good, right?

I mean,
you landed on your feet.

Because, I mean,
you look real good.

It's just...

now is not a really good time
for me, Bill.

All I wanted to do is
let you know I'm doing good,

but I have to get back
to my real family.

Here.

What's this?

Marilyn!
What's goin' on out there?

You might need it
more than me.

Freddy, you were right.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.

Come home, Billy.
Come home.

- Billy! Supervillain!
- Supervillain!

Shazam!

Who are you? What do you want?

What do I want?

I want...

That.

Whoa.

Kick his ass, Billy!

Yes, Billy.

Try it, by all means.

Let them go
and I'll come inside.

No, first, you come inside,

then maybe I'll let them go.

Good boy.

Because that's all you are,
isn't it?

How old are you?

- Basically 15.
- Hmm.

When I was a child,
the old man told me I wasn't good enough.

Yet here you are, a coward.

Run from me and the wizard chooses you?
You're not a hero.

But I'm gonna give you
the opportunity to be one.

Give me the power
of the champion.

No. Don't do it, Billy.

Give me the power
and I'll let them go.

Darla, no.

Don't go, Billy.

- Don't go, Billy.
- Darla, come here.

No, I have to.

It's what a good brother
would do. Right?

Billy.

I dedicated
my life to getting here.

I scoured the earth.

No one believed me.

No one helped.

Not the wizard.

Not my family.

I only had myself.

I get it.

I get what that's like.

Feeling like
you're all alone in the world.

Stand.

Feeling like there's that one thing,
and if you could just find it,

then you'd finally
be good enough.

Stand.

The champion's name.

Say it.

Look, no offense, mister,

but I don't think these things
have your best interest at heart.

Don't listen
to this child.

Take the staff.

Hold it
and say the champion's name.

They're using you.

You have to see that,
that they are using you.

Say your name.

His name...

is Captain Sparklefingers.

And we're gonna keep
throwing things at your big,

fat, ugly-eyed head,

until you let our brother go.

Boy, am I glad
I didn't sell that Batarang.

- Pedro, is that a lamp?
- It's an ugly one.

Come on.
Come on. Come on.

Guys,
I appreciate the thought,

I really do, but I don't think
your weapons are gonna help.

You can put 'em down now.

The door was right here.

Billy, how do we
get outta here?

What, you think I know?
I don't know.

This way!

Go, go, go. Follow Darla.

Good job, Darla. Go, go, go!

Kids?

Why is this open?

Freddy? Mary?

Pedro, Pedro, come on.

Freddy? Freddy, keep up.

Darla, stay in front.

We gotta hurry.

Whoa!

So many doors.

One of these has to be
a way out, right?

Yeah, I would hope so.

Not this one.

Okay, no more doors.
Nobody open any more doors.

Come on, Billy.
What are we gonna do?

Darla, I don't know.

Yes, you do. Just think.
How'd you get out last time?

Uh, last time, I thought about the
subway, and I was on the subway.

Okay. Then, Billy, look,
think about the subway.

Think about any place
except for here, okay?

Come on,
come on, come on.

Why are you
covering my eyes?

Really? This is the first
place you think of? Wow!

You're welcome!

Why can't I see
what's inside?

You are not old enough.

Old enough to know
that was great music.

Not my thing.

Where's Freddy?

Yeah, you, too, Sriracha.

Hey, have a holly
jolly Christmas.

Freddy! What are you doing?

Nice people.

Nice people? Come on.

Is that glitter? They have glitter!
Can I get glitter?

No, not from them.

Please?

No.

Darla.

Go, go, go. Everybody, go!

Freddy? Freddy, Freddy.

One, two, three.
Up, up. Up we go.

Carnival, go! Go, Mary, go.

Come on, Pedro. Come on.

Don't run,
but don't walk. Just be cool.

Act naturally, like kids
naturally act in a carnival.

- He's not gonna look for us here.
- Is that him?

- Oh, my God!
- Dude, it's Zap-tain America!

- Power Boy!
- He's an impersonator, okay?

Yeah, I'm an impersonator!
I'm a fake version of myself.

Don't take pictures.

Shazam!

Hey! Where'd he go?

What,
is he invisible now?

Oh, man,
I just spit on a baby!

Yo, what is that?

Who is that guy?

Champion.

You don't deserve that name.

See that?
Look at that up there!

Hiding behind
innocent people who will now die.

Because deep down you're still
just a scared little boy.

Oh, no.

Run! Run!

- Oh! What do we do?
- Just hold on!

- To what?
- The bar, you idiot!

Well, you wanted
me to be a hero.

Are you kidding?

Okay, no.
Old guy's up there harboring

multiple spiritual entities.

Plus, he has
the same powers as you.

Plus, I mean,
he knows what he's doing.

Plus, I mean, you're my best friend.
I don't want you to die.

If a superhero
can't save his family,

he's not much of a hero.

That was a decent catchphrase.

Shazam!

Now, let's try this again.

Or try that again!

Billy, look out!

Laser eyes!
Guys, he's got laser eyes!

Too bad your aim sucks balls!

That's his power matrix.

His what-what?

When the demon guys leave
his eye, he loses his powers.

That's why
the Batarang hurt him.

Hey!

Over here!

- Wait. What are you doing?
- Trust me. Divide and conquer.

We separate the Sins
from the eye,

and he's just an old man.

Gather the mutts.

Run!

Darla, no!

Here. Take it.

Take it. It's for you.

Hold it tight.

Close your eyes.
Everything's gonna be okay.

- Okay?
- Mmm-hmm.

Okay.

Shazam!

Shazam!

Playtime's over, boy.

Your friends
can't help you anymore.

Shazam!

Hey!

Shazam!

Nice trick.

Catchy.

One simple word.

I have a better trick.

Four words.

Kill the little girl.

- Darla, no!
- Take me instead!

Stop!

Billy, there's
one more demon guy in his eye!

You gotta just rip it out
of his face hole!

It's where he gets his power.

Reach for it.

I dare you.

Wise decision.

Hands on the staff.

Billy,
don't do this. Billy!

- Billy.
- Don't do it, Billy!

Don't!

Say my name

so my power
may flow through you.

I open my heart to you,
Billy Batson.

And in so doing,
choose you as champion.

With your heart,
unlock your greatest power.

The thrones of our brothers
and sisters await.

All hands on deck.

Say my name.

Billy!

No, not my name.

Say the name that I say
to turn into this guy.

Shazam!

Guys.

What's happening?

I can fly!

Guys.

Check out these guns.

No. It's not possible.

Gee-whiz, mister.
Sorry I took your cane.

Do you want it back?

Guys,
I don't believe in violence,

but I think we should kick this guy's
butt, like, really hard.

Whoa!

Guys, I think
I can move really...

fast.

Hyper-speed! Check!

Billy! The eye!

Look out!

Whoa!

What?

- What!
- Dude!

You almost exploded me.

Dude, I've studied
the fighting techniques

of every single superhero.

What do you got?

Well, that's terrifying.

Enough games, boy.

You think
a pack of children can...

Wait, what?

You will beg for mercy

as I feast on your heart...

slow.

Are you making some big evil guy
speech right now or something?

You're, like, a mile away from me
right now. There's cars and trucks.

I will have the world eating
out of the palm of my hand...

All I see is mouth moving.
I don't hear any...

Only I have
the power to unleash...

Ah, whatever. Screw it.

Oh, my gosh. Those people!

Hi!

Wow. I caught you.

I got it. I got it.

Oh, my God. I do got it.

You're not gonna believe this,

but you're actually the first
villain I've ever fought.

It's kind of
a huge deal for me.

Somebody help!

Hi. Wow. It's really you.

My name is Darla,
and I've been really good.

What?

Oh, crap.

No, no, no.

No, no. No!

No! No, no.

Oh, my God!

Is he giving us
suitcase wedgies?

So this is, like,
the Seven Deadly Sins, right?

I mean, I've never
been great at math,

but, uh, the big, angry one,
that's Wrath, yeah?

And then Gluttony, obvi.

Pride, Greed, Sloth, Lust,

who I thought was gonna be way
hotter, if I'm being honest.

But that's only six.
Where's lucky number seven?

Where's little man?
Where's Envy?

Is he just scared of me and my
family because we're so awesome?

Because I get that.

Like, the other sins,
they get to come out and fight

because they're big
and strong and scary.

But Envy...

he's just the runt.

And that's why all the other sins
never invite him out to play, man.

Because they all know
who'd win.

And it's not weak,
worthless, ugly Envy.

Gotcha.

Shazam!

Shazam!

Ready to go
round up your buddies?

No. No!

Here's the thing about power.

What good's power,
if you got nobody to share it with?

- Nice.
- Ta-da!

- That's disgusting.
- Fatality.

I got the voice.

What's that?

I can have anything
I've ever wanted?

Billy.

No, no, no!

- Stop it!
- Don't look at that!

Billy, don't do it!

Ah!

- You should hear yourselves!
- Not funny.

You think I'm gonna put
a demon ball in my head?

That's disgusting.

That's funny. That's pretty funny.
You got me going.

- You got me going.
- Uh... Guys.

What?

Oh. Hey.

Oh, wow.

All right, we did it!

Hey, all right, yeah!
We did it!

We did it!

Hey, you guys are all safe.
There's no more danger anymore.

- We're fine. It's okay.
- All right, all right, all right.

We're good.

You sure
this is gonna work?

Told ya.

Whoa!

Whoa!

You guys know
what this place is, right?

A dark, haunted cave
with demon statues.

Well, yes, but also...

Lair! We got a lair!

- Lair.
- Yeah.

No, you right.

We got a lair.

What's a lair?

And thanks to six superheroes,

citizens are back
in their homes,

safe again
with their families.

And here with an eyewitness
account of the events...

It was crazy, man!

Creatures from hell!

Lightning coming out of
everyone's everything!

And that is not
cool, man!

So, first day
as a superhero.

Automatic top spot
for best ever.

The man shattered
the glass noodle ceiling.

- No. That's racist.
- Not if I say it.

Guys.

- All hands on deck.
- Oh!

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait.

Thank you for this food.

Thank you for this day.

Thank you for this family.

I thought maybe
this time I'd stay.

I mean, after all,

I'm home.

He better not sit
at our table.

Nope!

Okay.

What are you doing?

Waiting for your imaginary BFF
to show up?

Yeah.

What are you guys doing here?

Well, we're having lunch
with you.

But you guys have
different lunch periods.

Well, we made
a very special arrangement.

- Darla, what's going on?
- Why are you asking me?

Freddy Freeman.

This guy

taught me everything I know
about being a dope superhero.

True story. You should get
some pointers from him.

What's going on,
my best bud in the whole world?

And also new kids that I'm meeting
for the first time but seem very cool?

Uh...

I invited another friend.
I hope that's okay.

Sun of Ra.

Ouroboros.

Solomon's...

Knot.

No! No!

Primitive symbols.

You walking, talking monkeys
with your cave drawings.

You assume there's only
one way to gain magic.

No, no, no.

There are more ways
than a mind can imagine.

What in God's name?

I name the gods, Doctor.
Not the other way around.

Oh, what fun
we're going to have together.

The Seven Realms
are about to be ours.

Don't beat yourself up, buddy.
You're gonna find someone.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Because there's plenty of fish
in the sea.

Of course it's not real.
I can't talk to fish.

Even if I could, I mean, honestly,
what could we do with that that's cool?

I don't know, maybe command
an army of billions in the ocean.

Oh, yeah.
Well, that's not that cool.