Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,684 --> 00:00:07,000
_
2
00:00:07,025 --> 00:00:09,051
One, two, three...
3
00:00:09,191 --> 00:00:10,324
Stop moving!
4
00:00:10,349 --> 00:00:12,207
Damn it, made me lose count.
5
00:00:12,455 --> 00:00:14,645
Who's Grandpa Mort on the phone with?
6
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:17,535
Grandpa's Mort is taking us
to the Bahamas.
7
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,605
Really? We're going to the Bahamas?
8
00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:22,051
No, I'm not hearing music anymore.
9
00:00:22,465 --> 00:00:24,809
So either my hearing aids died or...
10
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:26,004
the travel agent did.
11
00:00:26,029 --> 00:00:28,801
Oh, here, Grandpa.
We can book your rooms on...
12
00:00:28,826 --> 00:00:29,880
Hotels.com.
13
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,216
You're not giving me that, man.
14
00:00:31,241 --> 00:00:33,333
I mean, what's the poing in getting
beat-up all-through highschool
15
00:00:33,358 --> 00:00:36,013
if you can show your grandfather
how to use technology, right?
16
00:00:36,248 --> 00:00:37,669
You don't have to be a nerd to use this.
17
00:00:37,694 --> 00:00:38,694
(LAUGHS)
18
00:00:38,918 --> 00:00:42,122
So, uh, you pick the resort you want.
19
00:00:42,188 --> 00:00:43,188
Right.
20
00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:44,246
Just like that.
21
00:00:44,271 --> 00:00:45,449
Matt, you're so good.
22
00:00:45,474 --> 00:00:46,658
You're like a hacker.
23
00:00:46,683 --> 00:00:48,441
What? Oh, come on, Mom.
24
00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:50,104
I mean, anyone can do that.
25
00:00:50,129 --> 00:00:51,973
Says the guy who didn't do it.
26
00:00:52,271 --> 00:00:53,527
MORT: Now let's get to the flights.
27
00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:55,777
- Okay.
- I only fly Pan Am,
28
00:00:56,177 --> 00:00:58,411
and I need to be in the smoking section.
29
00:01:02,708 --> 00:01:03,985
SOPHIA: Wow!
30
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:05,487
- This place is amazing.
- Oh!
31
00:01:05,512 --> 00:01:08,537
I feel bad. Mort's missing so much.
32
00:01:08,562 --> 00:01:10,992
- (CHUCKLES)
- Mort. Look.
33
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,761
Oh, Matthew Jerome,
I cannot believe you did this.
34
00:01:14,138 --> 00:01:16,176
He didn't do anything.
I mean, did everyone see?
35
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,365
I tipped the driver.
36
00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:19,758
Greg, you're still holding
the money in your hand.
37
00:01:21,487 --> 00:01:22,487
(GASPS)
38
00:01:22,786 --> 00:01:24,939
- This is so beautiful.
- Well, you think
39
00:01:24,964 --> 00:01:26,426
the outside's beautiful... (SCOFFS)
40
00:01:26,451 --> 00:01:27,809
... wait until you see the inside.
41
00:01:28,099 --> 00:01:31,052
- Wow, wow, wow, wow.
- (GRUNTS)
42
00:01:31,077 --> 00:01:33,614
- Greg, you got this cabana just for us?
- Huh?
43
00:01:33,639 --> 00:01:35,341
Yeah, one second. Hey, everybody!
44
00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:36,651
I got us a cabana!
45
00:01:36,676 --> 00:01:39,354
You just screamed that
directly into my face.
46
00:01:39,379 --> 00:01:40,722
Well, then, they definitely heard me.
47
00:01:40,747 --> 00:01:43,684
Why aren't they all running
in here and chanting "Greg"?
48
00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:47,195
Because this isn't college and
you're not doing a keg stand?
49
00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:49,063
Well, they had no problem
celebrating Matt
50
00:01:49,088 --> 00:01:51,317
when all he did was
just touch a little screen.
51
00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:52,944
God. Are you serious?
You got this cabana
52
00:01:52,969 --> 00:01:54,269
just because Matt booked the rooms?
53
00:01:54,294 --> 00:01:55,294
You're damn right I did.
54
00:01:55,319 --> 00:01:56,372
What, you think I spent all this money
55
00:01:56,397 --> 00:01:58,341
to impress you? You're not my family...
56
00:01:58,366 --> 00:02:00,465
You're just my wife...
Oh, hey, uh, Heather, hey...
57
00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:01,643
Check it out.
58
00:02:01,668 --> 00:02:03,645
I got this cabana for the whole family.
59
00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:05,904
Oh, that's so nice. Hey, do you
have a bathroom in there?
60
00:02:06,099 --> 00:02:07,099
No.
61
00:02:07,269 --> 00:02:09,402
Okay. I think I'm gonna just
go swimming instead.
62
00:02:11,568 --> 00:02:14,480
- Go, Dad!
- (SQUEALING, LAUGHING)
63
00:02:14,609 --> 00:02:15,830
Oh, my God!
64
00:02:15,855 --> 00:02:17,358
Man, I love this resort.
65
00:02:17,691 --> 00:02:19,871
I wish we had our honeymoon
at Baha Mar.
66
00:02:21,039 --> 00:02:22,039
Greg?
67
00:02:22,285 --> 00:02:23,741
Remember our honeymoon?
68
00:02:23,774 --> 00:02:25,649
- You were there.
- Look at them.
69
00:02:26,383 --> 00:02:28,367
It is like they are
addicted to the pool.
70
00:02:28,392 --> 00:02:31,188
And they have one at home.
I mean, we got a color TV in here.
71
00:02:31,213 --> 00:02:34,117
Yeah, I always love connecting with you.
72
00:02:34,142 --> 00:02:35,142
I don't get it.
73
00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:37,235
I just... I do not understand it.
74
00:02:37,539 --> 00:02:39,398
Okay, Greg, if you really
want your family
75
00:02:39,423 --> 00:02:41,774
to come in here so bad,
just tell 'em we want to be alone.
76
00:02:41,799 --> 00:02:43,367
That usually brings 'em running.
77
00:02:46,073 --> 00:02:47,073
That's a great idea.
78
00:02:47,391 --> 00:02:49,359
I'll be right back.
And easy on the grapes, all right?
79
00:02:49,384 --> 00:02:50,453
Those are for everyone.
80
00:02:55,502 --> 00:02:56,502
Come on.
81
00:02:58,231 --> 00:02:59,231
Huh?
82
00:02:59,773 --> 00:03:01,137
How about this?
83
00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:03,351
Welcome to our cabana.
84
00:03:03,524 --> 00:03:05,999
We've got a fully-stocked
bar over there.
85
00:03:06,312 --> 00:03:07,836
Full color TV.
86
00:03:07,948 --> 00:03:09,945
Some magazines. My, uh...
87
00:03:10,811 --> 00:03:11,984
... beautiful wife.
88
00:03:12,009 --> 00:03:15,023
Always fun to come in
right under magazines.
89
00:03:15,048 --> 00:03:16,082
(CHUCKLES)
90
00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:18,109
Um, can I go back in the pool?
91
00:03:18,134 --> 00:03:19,134
Uh, yeah, sure.
92
00:03:19,161 --> 00:03:20,707
Just, uh, uh, be sure to tell everybody
93
00:03:20,732 --> 00:03:22,366
how lit it is in here. Okay?
94
00:03:22,562 --> 00:03:24,500
I guess if it comes up organically.
95
00:03:24,525 --> 00:03:26,712
But it kind of feels
desperate otherwise.
96
00:03:26,737 --> 00:03:28,336
So... bye.
97
00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:29,862
Wh-What do you mean, desperate?
98
00:03:29,942 --> 00:03:32,603
Greg, honey, who cares
if your family thinks
99
00:03:32,628 --> 00:03:34,275
you're less generous than Matt?
100
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,892
Who is poor, by the way. I mean,
101
00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:38,017
let's see him get
a cabana for the family.
102
00:03:38,042 --> 00:03:41,244
It's a lot harder than just,
you know, booking rooms.
103
00:03:41,332 --> 00:03:42,566
Is it, though?
104
00:03:42,746 --> 00:03:45,417
No, it's pretty much
the exact same thing. But still!
105
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,253
He just booked it for the free nights.
106
00:03:47,278 --> 00:03:48,377
Wait, what was that?
107
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:49,472
Free nights?
108
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,917
Yeah. On Hotels.com,
you get a free night
109
00:03:51,942 --> 00:03:53,142
for every ten you stay.
110
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,386
Colleen was telling me all about it
111
00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:56,058
on the flight over. By the way,
112
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:57,621
she will still keep talking
113
00:03:57,646 --> 00:03:59,488
even if you pretend you're asleep.
114
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:00,823
Unbelievable.
115
00:04:02,979 --> 00:04:03,979
Hey, Jen.
116
00:04:04,004 --> 00:04:05,050
I got your text.
117
00:04:05,238 --> 00:04:06,582
You want to make fun of Greg in private?
118
00:04:06,607 --> 00:04:08,687
Ha! No. (LAUGHS)
119
00:04:08,712 --> 00:04:10,667
I sent that text from Jen's phone,
120
00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:13,163
and you came running
like a little idiot.
121
00:04:13,188 --> 00:04:14,363
JEN: Oh, my God. Greg,
122
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,433
you said you would let me
leave before you did this.
123
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:18,746
No, Jen, I want you here
to witness this.
124
00:04:18,771 --> 00:04:21,363
Prepare to be even more attracted to me.
125
00:04:22,173 --> 00:04:25,671
I know that you booked
this whole vacation
126
00:04:25,696 --> 00:04:27,707
so that you could get some free nights.
127
00:04:28,038 --> 00:04:29,683
- Yeah.
- Don't deny it.
128
00:04:30,012 --> 00:04:32,714
Colleen and I haven't taken
a trip by ourselves, ever.
129
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,941
Oh, yeah, she did mention
that on the plane.
130
00:04:34,966 --> 00:04:37,808
Then she used my credit
card to order a Bistro Box.
131
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:40,058
Well, ha-ha, how about that?
132
00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:42,355
You know, I bet the whole family
would love to know
133
00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,282
that you did all of this
just for your own benefit.
134
00:04:45,307 --> 00:04:46,307
I told 'em.
135
00:04:46,332 --> 00:04:47,543
They were all really happy
136
00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:49,253
that we could finally
take a honeymoon together.
137
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,096
Wow. (CLEARS THROAT)
138
00:04:52,175 --> 00:04:53,323
It would appear that...
139
00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:55,589
you've covered all of your bases
140
00:04:55,614 --> 00:04:56,691
and I have...
141
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,607
wasted a lot of money.
142
00:04:58,794 --> 00:04:59,895
Wow, Greg.
143
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,425
This is so hot.
144
00:05:02,058 --> 00:05:04,074
Really sorry that this
upset you so much.
145
00:05:04,099 --> 00:05:05,488
How 'bout I pay for this cabana?
146
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:06,613
That make you feel better?
147
00:05:06,638 --> 00:05:08,639
Yes. Yes, it would.
148
00:05:09,027 --> 00:05:10,229
Okay.
149
00:05:10,254 --> 00:05:11,792
Boy, it's a scorcher out there.
150
00:05:11,817 --> 00:05:13,753
It's a good thing you got
this cabana, Greg.
151
00:05:13,778 --> 00:05:15,300
Actually, I'm the one
who's paying for it,
152
00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:16,777
so you should probably
be thanking me.
153
00:05:16,802 --> 00:05:17,824
Right, Greg?
154
00:05:17,849 --> 00:05:19,691
- My hero.
- Oh!
155
00:05:19,716 --> 00:05:21,060
- Mwah.
- Mwah.
156
00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:23,410
MATT: Hey, everybody, welcome
to the cabana that I'm paying for.
157
00:05:23,435 --> 00:05:24,675
- There's water, grapes.
- Oh!
158
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,042
- Make yourselves at home.
- Thank you. So generous.
159
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,808
- Beautiful.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
160
00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:30,167
There's a color TV.
161
00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:33,386
_
162
00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:35,708
- HEATHER: Ooh!
- Okay!
163
00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:37,319
Feeling lucky. All I need
are some numbers.
164
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:39,645
All right, kids' birthdays. Tyler.
165
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:40,904
Sam.
166
00:05:40,937 --> 00:05:42,600
And Sophia.
167
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:43,625
No.
168
00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:46,123
- Sophia's...?
- No. Not even close, babe.
169
00:05:46,148 --> 00:05:47,148
TIM: Red,
170
00:05:47,532 --> 00:05:49,522
- the color of Sophia's eyes.
- Mm.
171
00:05:49,547 --> 00:05:51,123
WOMAN: Help! We need a doctor!
172
00:05:51,148 --> 00:05:53,311
- Somebody help!
- HEATHER: Honey, that guy's choking.
173
00:05:53,336 --> 00:05:54,903
- Oh, my God.
- Okay. Hey.
174
00:05:54,928 --> 00:05:56,655
Look out! I'm a doctor!
175
00:05:57,122 --> 00:05:58,459
I'm a doctor! It's okay.
176
00:05:58,484 --> 00:05:59,905
It's okay. You're all right, sir.
177
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:01,764
You're all right, sir.
I got you. You ready? You ready?
178
00:06:01,789 --> 00:06:03,856
- (GRUNTING)
- Okay. Come on, come on.
179
00:06:03,881 --> 00:06:05,389
Here we go. All right.
180
00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:07,155
And one more.
181
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:09,154
- Let's do it!
- (COUGHS, GASPS)
182
00:06:09,179 --> 00:06:11,811
- Oh! Babe, you did it!
- (APPLAUSE)
183
00:06:13,592 --> 00:06:15,842
That's my husband! That's my husband!
184
00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,920
The-the doctor, not the choking guy!
185
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:18,997
Oh, God!
186
00:06:19,022 --> 00:06:21,217
- Yes! Yes!
- Thank you. Oh.
187
00:06:21,242 --> 00:06:22,686
And he's good in bed!
188
00:06:23,381 --> 00:06:26,366
Really... just, good in bed!
189
00:06:26,989 --> 00:06:28,956
And then, just like that... boom,
190
00:06:28,981 --> 00:06:31,350
your dad saved this guy's life.
191
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:33,444
- (CHUCKLING)
- Way to go, Dad.
192
00:06:33,469 --> 00:06:35,498
Hey, does that help
with your malpractice suit?
193
00:06:36,036 --> 00:06:37,866
That's a whole separate thing.
194
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:40,397
- Oh.
- That is so amazing.
195
00:06:40,565 --> 00:06:42,334
Hey, you know, maybe
I should be a doctor.
196
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:43,526
Yeah, sure.
197
00:06:44,786 --> 00:06:45,834
Sure.
198
00:06:45,913 --> 00:06:47,522
And if that wasn't enough,
199
00:06:47,605 --> 00:06:48,834
it was a rich guy.
200
00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:51,517
That's worth, like,
two normal people lives.
201
00:06:51,631 --> 00:06:52,967
Good for you, Dad.
202
00:06:52,992 --> 00:06:55,475
Oh, I wouldn't use
the word "hero," sweetie,
203
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,709
but... I'm not gonna stop you if you do.
204
00:06:57,734 --> 00:06:59,053
You know what, honey, I think I'm having
205
00:06:59,078 --> 00:07:00,678
a hard time breathing, and...
206
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:03,116
I might need you to get
behind me later tonight.
207
00:07:03,141 --> 00:07:04,363
- No.
- Ooh.
208
00:07:04,388 --> 00:07:05,388
Ooh.
209
00:07:05,413 --> 00:07:07,788
You're literally surrounded
by your children.
210
00:07:07,831 --> 00:07:09,929
Oh, oh, you guys,
there he is. Right there.
211
00:07:09,954 --> 00:07:12,757
This is the guy who owes
his life to your dad.
212
00:07:12,782 --> 00:07:15,437
Oh, he doesn't have
to stop a say thank you,
213
00:07:15,462 --> 00:07:17,616
but I'm not gonna deny
him the opportunity to.
214
00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:19,140
Hey. Doc...
215
00:07:23,517 --> 00:07:24,517
That's weird.
216
00:07:24,687 --> 00:07:26,569
- Maybe he's still in shock.
- Yeah. Yeah.
217
00:07:26,594 --> 00:07:28,218
You know what?
I think I'm in shock, too.
218
00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:30,384
I think I might need someone
219
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:33,288
to knock some life
into me later tonight.
220
00:07:33,313 --> 00:07:34,313
Mom!
221
00:07:34,338 --> 00:07:36,761
- Oh, what?
- We're in a public place.
222
00:07:40,307 --> 00:07:41,956
I can't believe he didn't say thank you.
223
00:07:42,518 --> 00:07:44,136
I thought you said he was in shock.
224
00:07:44,305 --> 00:07:46,261
No. Shock's not a real thing.
225
00:07:46,286 --> 00:07:48,706
It's just something doctors say
when we don't know what's wrong.
226
00:07:48,738 --> 00:07:49,831
Well, go over there.
227
00:07:49,856 --> 00:07:51,886
Give him a chance to say thank you.
228
00:07:51,911 --> 00:07:53,964
He had his chance.
He walked right by me.
229
00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:55,901
He embarrassed me
in front of Clementine,
230
00:07:55,926 --> 00:07:57,663
my very own daughter-in-law.
231
00:07:58,059 --> 00:08:01,409
Well, you know, honey,
he probably didn't recognize you.
232
00:08:01,494 --> 00:08:04,339
I mean, the whole thing,
it happened so fast.
233
00:08:05,065 --> 00:08:07,518
- I do look like a local.
- Oh, yeah.
234
00:08:07,547 --> 00:08:09,456
- Yeah, watch my drink.
- Yeah, you got it.
235
00:08:09,481 --> 00:08:11,136
I'm gonna watch
something else, too, there.
236
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,636
Walk away slowly, hero.
237
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,339
Don't. You know I hate that.
238
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,753
I can still see it.
239
00:08:17,145 --> 00:08:19,395
Yeah, there's a lot there to see.
240
00:08:20,970 --> 00:08:23,176
... play tennis in the morning.
I'm gonna take a lesson.
241
00:08:23,209 --> 00:08:24,209
Hey, buddy.
242
00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:25,836
What can I do for you?
243
00:08:25,861 --> 00:08:28,348
Dr. Tim Hughes, lifesaver. (LAUGHS)
244
00:08:28,755 --> 00:08:30,270
Want to get get
your hands off me, please ?
245
00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:32,223
I saved you from choking.
246
00:08:32,248 --> 00:08:33,457
My hands were all over you.
247
00:08:33,664 --> 00:08:35,887
(LAUGHS) Sir, I think that you've had
248
00:08:35,912 --> 00:08:37,364
a little too much to drink.
249
00:08:37,389 --> 00:08:38,871
Maybe this will jog your memory.
250
00:08:38,896 --> 00:08:39,910
Huh?
251
00:08:39,935 --> 00:08:41,292
It's the olive you almost choked on.
252
00:08:41,317 --> 00:08:42,809
I mean, it's not the exact same one,
253
00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:44,332
but I did find it on the ground.
254
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,239
(LAUGHS) I have no idea
what you're talking about.
255
00:08:47,264 --> 00:08:49,348
Honey, let's get out of here.
The guy's putting the moves on me.
256
00:08:49,373 --> 00:08:50,373
Okay?
257
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,746
You're welcome.
258
00:08:56,718 --> 00:08:58,426
- He say thank you?
- No.
259
00:08:58,574 --> 00:09:00,848
Man, I was so stupid to think
I could have gotten a selfie
260
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,574
of the two of us posing with the olive.
261
00:09:02,683 --> 00:09:03,883
Okay, honey, you know what?
262
00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:05,645
You have all of these patients
263
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:06,937
that really appreciate you.
264
00:09:06,962 --> 00:09:08,442
Okay, so one doesn't. Big deal.
265
00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,512
No, it is a big deal, Heather.
I'm an ENT.
266
00:09:10,537 --> 00:09:14,043
I never get to swoop in and save
someone's life like a rock star.
267
00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:17,504
It's all just polyps
and throat cultures.
268
00:09:17,732 --> 00:09:19,278
That saves lives.
269
00:09:19,303 --> 00:09:21,246
Yeah, but they're asleep when I do it.
270
00:09:21,459 --> 00:09:24,534
No one's ever awake enough
during surgery to say thank you.
271
00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:26,344
Except Mr. Samson,
272
00:09:26,369 --> 00:09:28,141
but we really shouldn't
be talking about the lawsuit.
273
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,166
No.
274
00:09:29,411 --> 00:09:31,500
Honey, you did the right thing.
275
00:09:31,957 --> 00:09:33,344
Okay? Remember that.
276
00:09:33,369 --> 00:09:35,303
You are a great doctor.
277
00:09:36,956 --> 00:09:38,383
I should've let him die.
278
00:09:38,502 --> 00:09:41,469
♪
279
00:09:41,774 --> 00:09:43,164
French fries.
280
00:09:43,197 --> 00:09:44,456
Oh. Mmm.
281
00:09:44,481 --> 00:09:45,821
Look at him over there.
282
00:09:46,092 --> 00:09:48,625
- Breathing, living.
- Oh, my God.
283
00:09:48,650 --> 00:09:50,289
Hoarding his gratitude.
284
00:09:50,314 --> 00:09:52,430
All right, Tim, honey,
you've got to just let it go.
285
00:09:52,455 --> 00:09:53,610
All right? I mean,
286
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:57,050
maybe he's just the kind of
guy who doesn't say thank you.
287
00:09:57,075 --> 00:09:59,813
Thank you. Thank you so much.
You're a lifesaver.
288
00:09:59,838 --> 00:10:00,852
Extra pickles.
289
00:10:00,877 --> 00:10:03,263
- Okay, that's it.
- Tim, honey, I...
290
00:10:03,288 --> 00:10:05,579
- Hey! What's your problem?
- Oh.
291
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:08,188
This lemon meringue, again.
Okay, what do you want?
292
00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:09,567
I want to hear you say, "Thank you"
293
00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:11,610
for saving my life in the casino."
294
00:10:11,635 --> 00:10:14,368
No. (STAMMERS) I don't
know what you're talking about.
295
00:10:14,393 --> 00:10:17,485
I... No, sir. (LAUGHS)
I was not in the casino.
296
00:10:17,766 --> 00:10:18,766
The casino?
297
00:10:19,579 --> 00:10:20,782
Yeah, you promised you'd stop.
298
00:10:20,807 --> 00:10:21,961
Honey, please.
299
00:10:21,986 --> 00:10:23,289
Uh, uh, he's crazy.
300
00:10:23,314 --> 00:10:25,454
Okay? I've never seen him
before in my life.
301
00:10:25,479 --> 00:10:27,547
- You're a lying bastard.
- S... Honey, please.
302
00:10:27,572 --> 00:10:28,594
Please!
303
00:10:28,968 --> 00:10:30,430
Oh, you're an idiot.
304
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,547
I told her that I would
never gamble again.
305
00:10:32,572 --> 00:10:34,235
She said if she caught me,
she'd leave me.
306
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:35,260
Thanks a lot.
307
00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:37,383
Hey, I'm a doctor.
308
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,368
No "thank you" necessary.
309
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:41,657
(LAUGHS) This guy.
310
00:10:42,665 --> 00:10:44,579
_
311
00:10:44,839 --> 00:10:47,125
COLLEEN: Honey, I know your grandpa
paid for the entire trip,
312
00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:49,446
but doesn't five bucks
feel a little cheapy?
313
00:10:49,471 --> 00:10:51,728
That's twice as much as he ever
gave me for my birthday.
314
00:10:51,753 --> 00:10:53,586
- All right, here we go.
- Okay.
315
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,002
This won't take long.
316
00:10:56,942 --> 00:11:00,127
(SLOT MACHINE CHIMING)
317
00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:02,118
- (MACHINE RINGING)
- (GASPS)
318
00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:03,143
Matt.
319
00:11:03,168 --> 00:11:04,834
Okay, this machine has to be broken
320
00:11:04,859 --> 00:11:06,205
because we're never lucky.
321
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,619
Yeah. The last thing I won
322
00:11:07,644 --> 00:11:09,814
was a BMX bike a radio call-in.
323
00:11:09,839 --> 00:11:11,987
And then when I went to go pick it up,
it was a sting operation
324
00:11:12,012 --> 00:11:14,385
to arrest my dad
for unpaid parking tickets.
325
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:16,823
There was no bike.
326
00:11:17,519 --> 00:11:19,520
♪
327
00:11:24,541 --> 00:11:25,807
Where are Matt and Colleen?
328
00:11:25,832 --> 00:11:27,940
I thought it was going
to be the four of us.
329
00:11:28,004 --> 00:11:29,089
Yeah, I know.
330
00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:30,790
Well, that might have been
the reason some of us
331
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,702
even agreed to do
this in the first place.
332
00:11:32,727 --> 00:11:33,807
JOAN: Oh, well.
333
00:11:33,832 --> 00:11:35,682
How often do you and I get to do
334
00:11:35,707 --> 00:11:39,096
a quiet activity alone together
for two and a half hours?
335
00:11:39,836 --> 00:11:41,938
This is two and a half hours?
336
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:44,034
Wow. Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
337
00:11:44,059 --> 00:11:46,167
If your critique of my art is
anything like your critique
338
00:11:46,192 --> 00:11:48,995
of my breakfast choices,
this is gonna be a lot of fun.
339
00:11:49,579 --> 00:11:53,151
Who eats sushi before
11:30 in the morning?
340
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,120
No, don't raise your hand.
341
00:11:55,145 --> 00:11:56,753
I'm asking the class.
342
00:12:01,151 --> 00:12:03,487
- This is insane.
- (CHUCKLES)
343
00:12:03,512 --> 00:12:06,049
(GROANS) I'm starving and I
have to go to the bathroom.
344
00:12:06,074 --> 00:12:08,197
I know, I know. Me too.
I know, but we can't leave.
345
00:12:08,222 --> 00:12:09,720
- N-No.
- Everybody knows
346
00:12:09,745 --> 00:12:11,229
that this is a hot machine,
347
00:12:11,594 --> 00:12:13,385
and the vultures are circling.
348
00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:16,887
Excuse me. Uh, I believe there's
a time limit on these machines.
349
00:12:16,912 --> 00:12:18,628
Sorry. Go fly away, little birdie.
350
00:12:18,653 --> 00:12:20,565
- Fly away.
- Okay, okay. Okay.
351
00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:21,792
All right. We have to take a break.
352
00:12:21,817 --> 00:12:23,354
- We have to do something.
- Okay.
353
00:12:25,271 --> 00:12:27,315
Okay, Grandpa.
354
00:12:27,340 --> 00:12:29,924
We're just gonna go ahead
and put you right here,
355
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,520
and if anyone tries to wheel you away,
356
00:12:31,545 --> 00:12:32,792
you just scream, okay?
357
00:12:32,916 --> 00:12:34,817
COLLEEN: Okay, thanks. Bye.
358
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:36,784
I don't know this show.
359
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:38,557
What is this show?
360
00:12:39,073 --> 00:12:40,487
Where's Andy Rooney?
361
00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:44,409
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
362
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:47,086
Oh, look. Hi, kids.
363
00:12:47,111 --> 00:12:48,878
- Hi!
- Oh, hey.
364
00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:50,596
Hi. Have you seen Matt and Colleen?
365
00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:52,518
We've been searching
for them everywhere.
366
00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:55,411
They've been holed up in
the casino, missing all of this.
367
00:12:55,436 --> 00:12:56,682
- Ooh.
- Oh, yeah, no.
368
00:12:56,707 --> 00:12:58,323
- You help yourself.
- Wait a minute.
369
00:12:58,348 --> 00:13:00,015
They've been hiding out
in the casino all day?
370
00:13:00,401 --> 00:13:02,401
Man, why didn't I think of that?
371
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,198
Didn't you have fun at art class?
372
00:13:06,194 --> 00:13:08,395
Well, no, I mean, the second hour
373
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,549
really was a banger.
374
00:13:10,574 --> 00:13:13,728
♪
375
00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:15,264
- All right. Whoa.
- (SHRIEKS)
376
00:13:15,289 --> 00:13:17,400
- Oh, no, no. It's just us. It's okay.
- Oh.
377
00:13:17,425 --> 00:13:19,811
I'm glad you're back.
I'm sick of sitting here.
378
00:13:19,836 --> 00:13:22,162
I came to Nassau for the ocean view.
379
00:13:22,187 --> 00:13:23,187
Say no more.
380
00:13:28,406 --> 00:13:29,411
There you go.
381
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,125
I'm not so old that I
don't know the difference
382
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:34,273
between a wall and the ocean.
383
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:36,774
Oh.
384
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:38,719
It's windy today.
385
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:43,156
♪
386
00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:46,031
There you are.
387
00:13:46,056 --> 00:13:47,914
What are you two doing?
388
00:13:47,939 --> 00:13:49,969
You've been in here all day.
389
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,617
You should be outside,
390
00:13:51,642 --> 00:13:53,797
enjoying paradise.
391
00:13:55,579 --> 00:13:57,961
And why is Mort in a time-out?
392
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:00,100
Oh, no. He didn't say
that word again, did he?
393
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,125
Oh, no, that's just where
we're storing him.
394
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,664
Storing him?
395
00:14:03,828 --> 00:14:05,038
Until we need him to hold the machine
396
00:14:05,063 --> 00:14:06,312
when we go to the bathroom and get food,
397
00:14:06,337 --> 00:14:07,398
take naps and stuff.
398
00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:09,797
Wow. Just what he wants
to be doing on what is...
399
00:14:09,822 --> 00:14:12,086
Let's be honest... His final vacation.
400
00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:14,875
I'll be in the Bahamas next month.
401
00:14:15,656 --> 00:14:17,062
That's now, Mort.
402
00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:18,615
Here,
403
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,365
let me wheel you to a different wall,
404
00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:22,086
give you a change of scenery.
405
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,111
Oh.
406
00:14:23,136 --> 00:14:24,726
- Wonderful.
- This is
407
00:14:24,751 --> 00:14:27,398
a couples excursion to a private island.
408
00:14:27,423 --> 00:14:31,047
Take it, please,
and start having a real vacation.
409
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,005
(SIGHS)
410
00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,062
All right.
411
00:14:38,214 --> 00:14:40,282
Oh, my God. (CHUCKLES)
412
00:14:40,307 --> 00:14:41,789
This is...
413
00:14:42,452 --> 00:14:43,828
I mean, look.
414
00:14:43,889 --> 00:14:45,461
- Your mom is a genius.
- (CHUCKLES)
415
00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:46,750
I can't believe we almost missed this.
416
00:14:46,775 --> 00:14:48,484
(CHUCKLES): I know, right?
I mean, this is...
417
00:14:48,509 --> 00:14:49,758
- paradise.
- Mm.
418
00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:55,508
What's that noise?
419
00:14:57,086 --> 00:14:58,875
- I think that's the ocean.
- Oh.
420
00:14:59,404 --> 00:15:01,859
- It's very loud. Can't... Yeah.
- Mm.
421
00:15:04,031 --> 00:15:05,231
That sun is...
422
00:15:05,609 --> 00:15:06,942
It's really blinding.
423
00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:08,133
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
424
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,873
Matt, ugh, this suck
425
00:15:09,898 --> 00:15:11,146
Yeah, no, this is ridiculous.
426
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:12,508
I can't relax like this.
427
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,442
- We need to get back to our machine.
- Yep.
428
00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:16,109
Why do we ever listen to my mom?
429
00:15:16,134 --> 00:15:17,820
- She's an idiot.
- Yes.
430
00:15:17,845 --> 00:15:19,273
What was she thinking?
431
00:15:20,492 --> 00:15:22,642
Hit it. Hit it. Hit it.
432
00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:25,062
- Aah!
- Yes!
433
00:15:25,087 --> 00:15:27,084
- Bring us our money!
- (CLINKING)
434
00:15:27,109 --> 00:15:29,231
We want our money!
435
00:15:29,484 --> 00:15:31,000
- Money person?
- But, seriously,
436
00:15:31,025 --> 00:15:32,250
who does bring that money?
437
00:15:33,153 --> 00:15:34,461
Hello?
438
00:15:35,062 --> 00:15:36,973
_
439
00:15:37,606 --> 00:15:40,059
I want to stand up
to make an announcement.
440
00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:42,411
(GRUNTS)
441
00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:44,559
It'll sound the same sitting.
442
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:49,098
I didn't just bring you
here for a vacation.
443
00:15:49,461 --> 00:15:53,207
I wanted to introduce you to
someone special in my life.
444
00:15:53,232 --> 00:15:55,246
What, you're already dating someone?
445
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:56,813
(QUIETLY): Mom just died.
446
00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:59,833
Oh, but, to be fair,
she was a horrible person.
447
00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:01,028
I'm not dating.
448
00:16:01,053 --> 00:16:03,129
I would never betray
your mother like that.
449
00:16:03,684 --> 00:16:04,746
Now, I'd like you to meet
450
00:16:04,771 --> 00:16:07,074
the son I had behind your mother's back.
451
00:16:07,219 --> 00:16:09,074
- What?
- Stuart.
452
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:12,153
Hello, family!
453
00:16:12,328 --> 00:16:13,363
Hello!
454
00:16:13,388 --> 00:16:14,637
Hi. How are you?
455
00:16:14,662 --> 00:16:16,715
Nice to see you. I'm your Uncle Stuart.
456
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,356
- How do you do?
- The olive guy.
457
00:16:18,381 --> 00:16:19,715
Ah, it's a pleasure.
458
00:16:21,009 --> 00:16:22,099
You, I know.
459
00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:23,691
You, I don't like so much.
460
00:16:23,855 --> 00:16:25,160
But I saved your life.
461
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,919
Yeah, you saved my life,
you killed my marriage.
462
00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:28,757
How could you, Dad?
463
00:16:28,782 --> 00:16:30,801
I told you... I hated your mother.
464
00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:32,994
But, over time, I...
465
00:16:33,019 --> 00:16:34,551
I grew to hate his, too.
466
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:35,789
Oh, she's a horrible woman.
467
00:16:35,814 --> 00:16:36,820
Your mother, not mine.
468
00:16:36,845 --> 00:16:37,960
God rest her soul.
469
00:16:38,078 --> 00:16:39,171
My mother, not yours.
470
00:16:39,196 --> 00:16:41,831
Okay, okay. So, I'm related to this guy?
471
00:16:42,274 --> 00:16:44,124
What do you say you put out
your shaking hand and I say,
472
00:16:44,149 --> 00:16:45,492
"You put that thing away"
473
00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:46,992
and we hug like brothers?
474
00:16:47,017 --> 00:16:49,648
What do you say you and
my good-for-nothing father
475
00:16:49,673 --> 00:16:50,726
go to hell?
476
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,851
And then we'll hug like brothers.
477
00:16:55,288 --> 00:16:56,968
I'm so sorry, honey.
478
00:16:57,519 --> 00:16:59,476
I can't imagine how you feel.
479
00:16:59,501 --> 00:17:01,402
The rest of us are just reeling.
480
00:17:01,427 --> 00:17:03,781
Well, Sophia didn't seem to care much.
481
00:17:03,806 --> 00:17:05,257
Oh, but she's a child.
482
00:17:05,529 --> 00:17:08,031
Yeah, well, I'm not
giving her a birthday gift.
483
00:17:08,056 --> 00:17:09,468
Who's the child now?
484
00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:10,830
John.
485
00:17:11,802 --> 00:17:13,609
How did he have time for another family
486
00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:15,742
when he never had time for ours?
487
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:18,171
You know, he worked non-stop.
488
00:17:18,411 --> 00:17:20,218
Yeah, but when you think about it,
489
00:17:20,308 --> 00:17:23,460
what kind of a gym teacher
takes business trips?
490
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:27,796
I like these. What are these, tuna?
These tuna fish?
491
00:17:27,821 --> 00:17:29,281
MORT: Uh, stingrays.
492
00:17:29,446 --> 00:17:30,947
- STUART: Stingrays?
- MORT: Yeah.
493
00:17:31,421 --> 00:17:33,320
Oh, okay, yeah. Okay, I can see that.
494
00:17:33,491 --> 00:17:35,671
- You okay, Johnny?
- Yeah.
495
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,679
I want to make sure you
give Junior a fair shake.
496
00:17:39,107 --> 00:17:41,609
Junior? Who's Junior?
497
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:43,328
Oh, I don't like where this is going.
498
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:44,671
Stuart's my middle name.
499
00:17:44,782 --> 00:17:46,835
My first name is Mort, just like Dad.
500
00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:49,195
Mort Stuart Short?
501
00:17:49,858 --> 00:17:52,242
Why do you get the most
beautiful name in the family?
502
00:17:52,267 --> 00:17:54,046
No, honey, don't worry.
503
00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:56,921
I-I'm sure John is
a family name, too. Right?
504
00:17:56,977 --> 00:17:58,468
We let the nurse name you.
505
00:18:00,606 --> 00:18:01,874
(CHIRPING)
506
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,999
I should've known when I saw Dad
507
00:18:04,024 --> 00:18:05,843
having lunch with another family.
508
00:18:06,078 --> 00:18:08,365
- What? When did that happen?
- Yeah.
509
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:09,960
At his nursing home.
510
00:18:09,985 --> 00:18:13,554
He said he wanted to eat
with his other family.
511
00:18:13,579 --> 00:18:15,814
You know, I-I smiled and just left,
512
00:18:15,821 --> 00:18:17,531
knowing I'd done the right thing,
513
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:19,023
putting him in that home.
514
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,914
Oh, well, now maybe you don't
have to visit him so much.
515
00:18:21,939 --> 00:18:23,390
And you always complained
516
00:18:23,415 --> 00:18:25,593
about that difficult parking lot anyway.
517
00:18:25,780 --> 00:18:29,015
I think my dad loves the
man he named after himself
518
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,554
more than he loves me.
519
00:18:31,289 --> 00:18:33,382
And I'll bet that nurse named me
520
00:18:33,407 --> 00:18:35,335
a-after a corpse in the hallway.
521
00:18:35,686 --> 00:18:38,688
John Doe Short, don't even say that.
522
00:18:38,713 --> 00:18:41,070
You're focusing on the wrong thing.
523
00:18:41,095 --> 00:18:43,821
I mean, you can be angry
with your father
524
00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:46,578
or you can be happy you have a brother.
525
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,961
I mean, you always wished
for a brother, right?
526
00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:51,555
Yeah. To teach me to play the guitar.
527
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,844
But does Stuart even know how?
528
00:18:54,101 --> 00:18:56,547
I mean, he's obviously a cool guy,
529
00:18:56,572 --> 00:18:58,953
but who knows if he's musical?
530
00:18:58,978 --> 00:19:02,031
Well, why don't you talk
to him and find out?
531
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:05,797
Oh, sure. Yeah, jazz,
532
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,609
classical, calypso,
533
00:19:07,973 --> 00:19:10,047
rock, blues.
534
00:19:10,565 --> 00:19:12,187
I hate every kind of guitar.
535
00:19:12,897 --> 00:19:15,437
- Oh. Oh, well, then,
- Hmm.
536
00:19:15,462 --> 00:19:18,351
Uh, maybe you two can find
something else to bond over.
537
00:19:18,376 --> 00:19:19,376
No.
538
00:19:19,769 --> 00:19:22,305
No, I'm a man of very few interests.
539
00:19:22,585 --> 00:19:25,625
I'm just a guy who spent
his life in the skies.
540
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,914
Oh, you're a pilot, too?
541
00:19:27,939 --> 00:19:29,172
Flight attendant!
542
00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,327
Oh. Yeah.
543
00:19:31,352 --> 00:19:34,084
W-Well, we'll-we'll find something.
544
00:19:41,719 --> 00:19:44,428
♪ "L" is for the way ♪
545
00:19:44,453 --> 00:19:47,207
♪ You look at me ♪
546
00:19:47,805 --> 00:19:50,177
- ♪ "O" is for... ♪
- Wow!
547
00:19:50,202 --> 00:19:51,328
Great!
548
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:54,897
Look, uh, I'm...
549
00:19:54,922 --> 00:19:57,351
sorry I was so cold when we first met.
550
00:19:57,687 --> 00:19:58,803
Oh, put that thing away.
551
00:19:58,828 --> 00:20:00,008
Come on, come on. Bring it in.
552
00:20:01,429 --> 00:20:04,412
♪ "E" is even more than anyone... ♪
553
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,625
Listen, Johnny boy,
554
00:20:06,086 --> 00:20:08,139
having a brother takes a
little getting used to.
555
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:10,254
I know it took me a long
time to get used to Gary.
556
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,508
Oh, I don't like where this is going.
557
00:20:12,768 --> 00:20:13,768
Who's Gary?
558
00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:15,435
He's your other brother.
559
00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:16,961
Dad got around a lot.
560
00:20:16,986 --> 00:20:18,389
- You got to be kidding.
- No, no, no.
561
00:20:18,414 --> 00:20:20,140
You're gonna love Gary. He's the best.
562
00:20:20,165 --> 00:20:23,143
Yeah. It's Mitch
that's the real bastard.
563
00:20:23,168 --> 00:20:26,047
But that's teenagers for you.
564
00:20:26,773 --> 00:20:27,829
Mitch?
565
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,992
Maybe Mitch knows
how to play the guitar.
566
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:37,905
♪ LOVE was made for me, and you ♪
567
00:20:42,892 --> 00:20:47,892
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
40077
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
