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Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick
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Caregiving is not just
about feeding and clothing and cleaning.
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It is also about understanding
how to navigate
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00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:52,387
a complicated relationship
between those who give care
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00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,889
and those who are in need of it.
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00:00:56,307 --> 00:01:00,395
If you find yourself lost,
frustrated, confused,
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you can always come back
to this helpful mnemonic device:
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ALOHA.
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Ask, Listen, Observe, Help, Ask again.
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The fundamentals of caregiving
are to give care...
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but not care too much.
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If you truly want a lasting career
in caregiving,
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you'll need to adhere
to the caregiver commandments.
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Writ these down. They're important.
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I cannot take care of another
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unless I first take care of myself.
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Ben. Ben, come on.
I know you're in there.
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My needs are equal to the needs
of the person to whom I am giving care.
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Caregiving is difficult.
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All I can do is try my best
and maintain a positive attitude.
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Congratulations,
you're a certified caregiver.
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Just always remember:
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ALOHA.
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00:02:18,348 --> 00:02:23,603
Ask, Listen, Observe, Help, Ask again.
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Nothing less. Nothing more.
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You must be Mr. Benjamin.
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00:02:43,498 --> 00:02:45,917
- Elsa Conklin.
- Hi.
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00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:53,758
I was transferred to the States
about nine months ago,
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00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:57,470
and we've yet to find
a permanent caregiver for Trevor.
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00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:01,391
The transition's been difficult,
to say the least.
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00:03:01,474 --> 00:03:04,268
The flight over was the first time
he'd ever been on a plane and...
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00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:08,523
Well, let's just say,
he's never really been one to relish
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being outside of his house,
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let alone 30,000 feet in the air,
or here in another country.
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00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:20,243
So, tell me,
why'd you choose to be a caregiver?
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00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,832
I like helping people.
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00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,751
Do you have clients at the moment?
This would be full-time.
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00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:31,129
No.
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00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:34,549
Can you tell me about
some of your previous clients?
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00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:38,052
Trevor would be my first client.
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00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:43,474
Oh... I'd asked them
to only send people with experience.
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00:03:43,975 --> 00:03:46,060
Oh, um...
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00:03:46,144 --> 00:03:49,772
No, I have the certificate.
I took the... It's a six-week course.
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00:03:49,856 --> 00:03:53,901
Yeah, I've taken it. It's all right.
It's just that I specified that we...
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00:04:00,158 --> 00:04:04,120
Hello. I'm sorry. You know, I'm so sorry.
Did I do something wrong?
46
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:07,498
I put on aftershave this morning.
That's something I don't normally do.
47
00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:08,916
Is he sensitive to smells?
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00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,961
Trevor, that's enough.
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00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,468
Pick a number between one and 3,500.
50
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:20,428
Wha...? Huh?
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00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,972
It's a game. Pick a number.
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00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,563
- Three.
- Nope.
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00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:33,316
Two thousand, four hundred and sixty-four.
Sorry, no job.
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00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:38,237
Trevor, this is Ben. Do you have
any actual questions for him?
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00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:39,655
What kind of aftershave are you wearing?
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00:04:39,739 --> 00:04:41,991
- Trevor.
- What?
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00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:44,786
This guy thinks retarded people get upset
by aftershave. That's brilliant.
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00:04:44,869 --> 00:04:46,913
How does that work, exactly?
59
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,123
Is it, like, "Oh, no. The smell."
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00:04:49,207 --> 00:04:51,125
I don't understand where it's coming from.
Please, somebody help."
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00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:55,254
You're not retarded.
And don't use that word.
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00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,048
People worse off than you, you know?
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00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,384
That's true. Like retarded people
that are forced to wear aftershave.
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00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:04,764
Sorry. My child has a unique sense
of humor.
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00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:06,140
Do you have kids?
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00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:12,522
No. I know I don't have any experience,
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00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,359
but I took the course
and I'll work very hard. I...
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00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:22,698
I've been out of work for a while
and I could really use this job.
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00:05:22,782 --> 00:05:25,535
Yeah, but if we're gonna
throw down nine bucks an hour
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00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:29,372
for somebody to wipe my ass, we need
somebody who knows how to wipe an ass.
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00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:32,792
Tell me, Ben, given the opportunity,
how exactly would you wipe my ass?
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00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:34,168
You're being rude.
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00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:37,004
I think it's a reasonable interview
question, given the scope of the job.
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00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:40,424
True or false?
This man has to wipe my ass.
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00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,514
I'd wipe it in such a way
that when I was done,
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00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,141
there would be no shit left on your ass.
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00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,945
He's the one.
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00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:23,384
- Hey.
- Hi.
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00:06:24,677 --> 00:06:25,928
Did you bring them?
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00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,891
Ben, did you bring the divorce papers?
81
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:33,811
Oh, you know what? Uh, I never got them.
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00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,440
I know you got them.
I shoved them under your door.
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00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:41,402
Right, I got your message about that.
That's weird. I don't...
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00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:45,531
Here's a new set. Here's a pen.
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00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:50,620
All right, well, I'll take these home
and, uh, I'll read them.
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00:06:50,703 --> 00:06:52,830
Why are you doing this to me?
87
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:58,711
Do I have to get a court order? I mean,
is that really what you want me to do?
88
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,299
I'm not ready, Janet.
89
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:09,138
It's been two-and-a-half years.
90
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:12,892
What's the magic number where you wake up
and you're finally ready?
91
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:17,897
Six years? Eight? Eighty?
92
00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,525
I'm sorry.
93
00:07:23,736 --> 00:07:25,780
I'm just not ready.
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00:07:47,093 --> 00:07:48,386
Hello. Come in.
95
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,554
- Hi.
- I'll take you on the tour.
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00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,349
What do you know about DMD?
97
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:54,892
Um...
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00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:56,602
Uh...
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00:07:56,686 --> 00:08:00,022
Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.
When you get home tonight, google it.
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00:08:00,106 --> 00:08:03,567
- Yes, I...
- I work as the office manager in a bank.
101
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,611
It's a big bank,
but I work in a small branch,
102
00:08:05,695 --> 00:08:07,405
which means if I'm late, they notice.
103
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,865
I have to leave here at 8:40,
which means you have to be here at 8:40.
104
00:08:09,949 --> 00:08:12,576
You're late, I'm late. I can't be late.
No one else to pay the bills.
105
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:17,373
Every day we stretch his hamstrings,
heel cords, IT-bands, hip flexors,
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00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:20,584
and forearms on the bed.
I'll demonstrate that for you.
107
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,546
He sleeps most nights with
the C-pap machine to help his breathing.
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00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:27,174
Trevor's extremely tied to his routine.
It cannot be disrupted.
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00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:29,552
If it's disrupted,
he'll have a panic attack.
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00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:33,431
He wakes at the same time every day,
he watches TV at the same time every day.
111
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:34,890
He eats at the same time every day.
112
00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:37,059
Once a week,
he goes to the park on Thursdays.
113
00:08:37,143 --> 00:08:39,854
Always on Thursdays.
Always from 1 to 4. Exactly 1 to 4.
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00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:42,690
He only eats waffles and sausage.
Two waffles, one sausage.
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00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,066
Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:48,821
Not ideal, but it's a battle I'm done
fighting and the vitamins fill in the gap.
117
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,574
Hey. Check her out.
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00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:54,201
Oldest working family farms
in Jerome, Idaho...
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00:08:54,285 --> 00:08:58,581
Would you tap that? Because I would
pound that shit into the ground.
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00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:02,168
His medications are also
on a precise schedule.
121
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,045
It's all in this notebook.
122
00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:08,674
Prescription meds,
Deflazacort, Losartan, Eplerenone.
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00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:10,760
Those you absolutely can't miss.
124
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:13,846
Then the supplements,
Protandim, Haelan, omega fatty acids,
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00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:17,433
calcium, vitamin D, Co Q10,
creatine, glutamine, Quercetin,
126
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,268
multi-vitamin, and mega green tea.
127
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,063
Why don't you read the notebook
and we'll talk more thoroughly later.
128
00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:25,900
Statistically, Trevor probably
has another seven to ten years.
129
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,569
So, let's do everything right, okay?
130
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:35,576
- I need to hear you say "okay."
- Yes. Okay. Absolutely.
131
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:49,340
Trevor, it's his first day.
Please don't make him cry.
132
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:59,058
- You need anything?
- I do, actually.
133
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,684
Could you call
the Make-A-Wish Foundation
134
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,104
and tell them I want a blowjob
from Katy Perry?
135
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,615
I mean, she kind of has to say yes, right?
Think about it.
136
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:18,077
If she was to reject me,
that would a PR nightmare for her.
137
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,912
It'd be a shit storm.
138
00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:24,083
What do we have here?
A two-story outhouse.
139
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:29,130
Aha. Here we go. Idaho Falls, Idaho.
Two-story outhouse.
140
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:34,176
I'm no expert. I definitely think
I'd prefer to be on the upper level.
141
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:37,096
- He apparently...
- What is this gem, you ask?
142
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:40,891
This is a map of your precious country's
lamest roadside attractions,
143
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:45,104
odd museums, bizarre landmarks,
and of course anything giant,
144
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:49,150
- from farm animals to cherry pie.
- What's the red star?
145
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,820
That, my friend, is
the world's deepest pit. My favorite.
146
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:57,199
It just sounds so depressing, I love it.
Pick a number between one and 3,500.
147
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,495
Go on, Ben. We've got
some time to kill. One and 3,500.
148
00:11:01,579 --> 00:11:03,956
- Three.
- One-5-5-5. You're not even trying.
149
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:08,043
But I have some fantastic news,
I need to take a dump.
150
00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:09,837
Why is that fantastic news?
151
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,841
Because it's your time to shine. Let's go.
152
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,810
Ow.
153
00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:27,980
I need to take a shit, come on.
Come on, be serious.
154
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,607
Take my legs.
155
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:33,777
How does it make sense to take my legs?
156
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,613
Are you gonna drag me to the toilet?
Put them down.
157
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,848
- You all right?
- Yeah.
158
00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:05,100
Hold on, hold on.
159
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:13,233
Do you wanna just shit in your chair,
maybe?
160
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,568
Maybe.
161
00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:18,614
Ben. Ben, it's jammed. Ben, help!
162
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:23,327
Who do you think would win
in a fight to the death. Me or a bird?
163
00:12:26,372 --> 00:12:29,917
Help me! Help me!
164
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:37,758
Help!
165
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,843
How about me versus a lot of birds,
166
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,846
but all the birds
also had muscular dystrophy?
167
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:50,396
I think a bunch of big birds with
muscular dystrophy are fucking you up.
168
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,787
- I enjoy this time together.
- Me too.
169
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,084
Can I ask you a question?
170
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,004
What?
171
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:22,678
If you woke up
and you were totally... fine...
172
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,641
what's the thing you'd wanna do most?
173
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:30,811
If I could do anything at all?
174
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,527
I'd really like to take a pee standing up.
175
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,159
Yeah, it's pretty awesome.
176
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,253
Bye.
177
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,547
If somebody tries to rob the bank today,
don't be a hero.
178
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,133
I can't promise anything
once the adrenalin kicks in.
179
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:02,134
Fair enough.
180
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:11,393
Did you arrange these to look
like large testicles and a small penis?
181
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,567
- Yep.
- Brilliant.
182
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,861
- Enjoy your breakfast.
- Thanks.
183
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:26,825
You never told me what you did before
you got into the ass-wiping business.
184
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,911
- I was a writer.
- No, you weren't. Really?
185
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:31,830
Yeah. I wrote a couple of novels
you've never heard of.
186
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:36,001
You're right. So, what is this?
Is this, like, research for you?
187
00:14:36,085 --> 00:14:39,546
- Hardly. I'm retired.
- You're retired. Right.
188
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:42,257
Well, man, you should write about me.
189
00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:45,677
Well, that would make
for a really interesting read.
190
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:48,722
Chapter One, Watches TV.
191
00:14:48,806 --> 00:14:51,475
Chapter Two, Eats Waffles.
192
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:56,355
Chapter Three,
Watches TV, Then Eats Waffles.
193
00:14:56,438 --> 00:15:00,275
- It writes itself.
- Seriously, I'm your man.
194
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:04,571
And when you do write about me, I want you
to describe me as handsome and cool.
195
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:06,532
The best stuff is truthful.
196
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,344
Ben Benjamin?
197
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,763
I have something for you.
198
00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:32,975
Hey, wait!
199
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:35,519
This is a court order!
200
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:39,273
I know where you live!
201
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,750
You're just in time. The hot chick is on.
202
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,879
And today I'm going to visit with Rufus,
the world's...
203
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,797
If I had one night with her,
I swear when I was done,
204
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,507
she wouldn't be able to walk properly.
205
00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:07,634
Oh, because you'd give
her muscular dystrophy?
206
00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,470
Cute.
207
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:12,097
Rufus weighs 2,100 pounds.
208
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:16,727
Hey, check it out. World's
biggest bovine. Ritzville, Washington.
209
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:20,647
Ritzville. That's not far from here.
210
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:25,027
What if we saw
some of these places for real?
211
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:28,113
Have you been working
with lead-based paint in an enclosed area?
212
00:16:28,197 --> 00:16:30,782
Come on. Don't you get bored
just sitting in this room
213
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:32,451
and going to the park once a week?
214
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,954
I mean, doesn't any part of you want
to see the world's deepest pit in person,
215
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,456
not just on TV?
216
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:39,458
I do. But if we're making bucket lists,
217
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:42,586
I'd put that way behind nailing
the Seattle Seahawk cheerleaders
218
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,923
- in a pyramid formation.
- I do hope that's televised.
219
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,009
Embarrassing.
220
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,263
All right. So, we go to a Seahawks game.
221
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:56,225
You know, most disabled people
don't just sit in their houses all day.
222
00:16:56,308 --> 00:17:00,229
They get out and do things
like everybody else. You got a letter.
223
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,666
What are those?
224
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:25,003
Letters... from my father.
225
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,340
I didn't realize you had a father.
226
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:31,385
I was born, wasn't I?
It means I have a father.
227
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,428
No, I know, but...
228
00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:36,515
He left when I was three.
Right when I was diagnosed.
229
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:40,852
- Probably just a silly coincidence.
- Oh. Sorry.
230
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:47,526
Can you feel the love tonight?
Well, I sure can. It's Valentine's Day.
231
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,778
And what more of a romantic place
to spend it
232
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:51,697
than here in Devil's Lake, North Dakota.
233
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,409
- So, you don't even read those?
- Really? We're still going on about this?
234
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,412
Sorry, it's just...
235
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:03,083
I... I don't know.
Aren't you even curious?
236
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:07,421
- I mean, it seems like he's reaching out...
- I used to read them. They're lame.
237
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:10,591
- Do you ever write back?
- No, I have not written him back.
238
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:15,512
- Does he say he's sorry for leaving?
- What's with you today?
239
00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:17,973
He made his choice when I was three.
It was his choice, not mine.
240
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,809
He can live with it.
Let's leave it at that.
241
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:23,895
I'm just saying, you know,
he is still your father, maybe...
242
00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:25,314
He's not still my father.
243
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,899
Okay? A father is supposed to be there
for his kid.
244
00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:30,611
Protect him from harm.
That's the only job a father has.
245
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:34,323
You don't have a kid,
so what would you know about it?
246
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,743
This combination
of meals is simply...
247
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:41,371
There we go.
Now go get me some juice.
248
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,418
Hey, juice. Come on.
We're not paying you to sit on your ass.
249
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,265
Mr. Benjamin!
250
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:07,731
Mr. Benjamin!
Mr. Benjamin, I'm not gonna leave!
251
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:13,654
Thank you for staying.
252
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:18,075
Ever since I started, they've been begging
me to go to happy hour on Thursday.
253
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,952
I finally relented,
just to get them off my back.
254
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:24,873
- I won't be too late.
- Oh, it's fine. Trev's napping.
255
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,291
Oh, there's another thing.
256
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:30,337
Work's asked me to go to Atlanta
for a week for a training seminar.
257
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:34,466
- Oh. Why don't I stay here with Trev?
- Thank you.
258
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,678
Um...
259
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:39,346
There's one more thing.
260
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:44,101
You know, over the years, Trevor's
never become attached to any caregiver.
261
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:50,399
I'm so pleased you two get on so well,
but... you won't be here forever.
262
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:55,862
I know about your son.
263
00:20:01,118 --> 00:20:04,287
You know,
I wouldn't let you be with Trevor
264
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,207
without first doing my due diligence.
265
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,543
What do you know exactly?
266
00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:13,672
Everything. So does Trevor.
267
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:15,966
I'm so sorry, Ben.
268
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:18,885
I can't even...
269
00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:21,388
- Trevor knows what happened?
- Yeah.
270
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,640
Three years is not a very long time,
271
00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:26,810
and I can only guess
at your emotional state.
272
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,688
I can't have you getting too close
to Trevor.
273
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:33,608
I can't have you making promises
you can't keep.
274
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,570
ALOHA, right?
275
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:40,782
Ask, Listen, Observe, Help, Ask again.
276
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,201
Nothing more, yeah?
277
00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:50,625
Sounds like my very obnoxious ride.
278
00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:04,639
You knew about my kid and you said
all that father bullshit to me? Huh?
279
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,141
You think
because you're in a wheelchair
280
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,226
that gives you the right to say and do
whatever you want?
281
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:09,644
You ever considered
that maybe I'm just a prick,
282
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:10,979
with or without the wheelchair?
283
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:17,444
Fuck you. And fuck your wheelchair.
284
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,947
And fuck your waffles and your stupid
fucking map with all the places
285
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:22,657
that you're never ever gonna fucking see.
286
00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:24,826
Fuck those letters
that you'll never reply to
287
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:27,662
'cause you're such
a self-absorbed piece of shit.
288
00:21:29,915 --> 00:21:33,376
Is that the best you can do?
That's it? I thought you were a writer.
289
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:37,798
Fuck this, fuck that. That's really lame.
I think you need a second draft.
290
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:42,177
I don't buy any of your bullshit.
You can make jokes all you want,
291
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:47,390
but you are wasting your life by sitting
in this house and watching TV.
292
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,768
Yeah? And what the fuck are you doing?
293
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,939
It's been three years, Ben.
294
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,900
Should you really be wiping my ass
for $9 an hour?
295
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:42,112
Sounds like you and Trevor
had quite a night last night.
296
00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:48,034
- Yeah, sorry about...
- I specifically warned you
297
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:50,870
about the nature of your relationship,
didn't I?
298
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,915
Yeah, you did, but...
299
00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:58,253
What makes you think I would ever let you
take my son on a road trip?
300
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:03,592
And now if I don't let him go see
the world's deepest pit
301
00:23:03,675 --> 00:23:05,510
or biggest cow or whatever,
he's gonna be upset.
302
00:23:05,594 --> 00:23:08,763
But of course I can't actually let him go.
303
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:13,435
Look, well, whatever.
When Ben burst into my room
304
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:16,187
and said we should go on a trip,
it just seemed like it would be fun.
305
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:21,151
- You know? So, just forget it.
- Well, it's not happening.
306
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:24,029
And I resent being put in this position.
307
00:23:24,654 --> 00:23:26,948
Honestly, what were you thinking?
308
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:37,250
- I was thinking it would be good for him.
- Good for him?
309
00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:40,128
Do you have any idea what traveling
with someone like Trevor entails?
310
00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:41,921
You lose his Deflazacort, then what?
311
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,634
Or the C-pap breaks in the middle
of nowhere? That be good for him?
312
00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:48,470
He's never been more than an hour
from his house.
313
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:52,140
Maybe it's time to change that.
314
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:04,277
Look. It takes three or four days
to get to the world's deepest pit. Right?
315
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:07,489
We can see a lot of these other
roadside attractions along the way.
316
00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:11,284
Two days to get back,
we're gone for a week.
317
00:24:11,368 --> 00:24:13,620
I chart out all the hospitals
along the way.
318
00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:16,831
And they'll lend me the van so we can
carry all of Trevor's machines and stuff.
319
00:24:16,915 --> 00:24:18,875
We can go while you're in Atlanta.
320
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:24,756
You're suggesting I risk my son's life
so he can see a hole in the earth?
321
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:29,010
I'm suggesting that your son gets out
of the living room.
322
00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:42,607
Right. When I get back from work, we're
gonna sit down and plan this to the T.
323
00:24:42,691 --> 00:24:44,109
Wait. What?
324
00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:49,614
Well done. That was very heroic how you
jumped in there without missing a beat.
325
00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:53,243
- But I'm sorry, I can't do it.
- Why? This is your idea.
326
00:24:53,326 --> 00:24:55,495
I know, but I think I was caught up
in the moment.
327
00:24:55,578 --> 00:24:58,873
That moment being you telling me
to go fuck myself repeatedly.
328
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:02,502
This is great. The open road.
329
00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:04,796
You know what? I'm gonna call
the Make-A-Wish Foundation
330
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:08,133
and I'll get Katy Perry to meet us
at a motel in Missoula.
331
00:25:08,216 --> 00:25:10,927
What song do you want her to sing
while she's doing you?
332
00:25:16,766 --> 00:25:18,309
"Fireworks."
333
00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:31,406
- Did you get the van serviced?
- The van is serviced and ready to go.
334
00:25:31,489 --> 00:25:33,950
- When?
- Everything's up to date.
335
00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:35,994
Meaning you got it serviced
specifically for the trip,
336
00:25:36,077 --> 00:25:38,371
or you got it serviced at the normal time
it was supposed to be serviced?
337
00:25:38,455 --> 00:25:41,583
I want a text or a phone call
every three hours.
338
00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:43,835
Hey, do you know
when he got the van serviced?
339
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:46,045
- Let's call this off.
- Okay.
340
00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,172
He needs this.
341
00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:48,673
- Do you need this?
- I don't need this.
342
00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:50,717
He says he doesn't need this.
343
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:55,096
Elsa, I won't let anything happen
to your son.
344
00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:08,318
I love you.
345
00:26:09,027 --> 00:26:12,447
"He died trying to see the world's
deepest pit" is a really bad obituary.
346
00:26:13,364 --> 00:26:14,741
Or is it?
347
00:27:19,347 --> 00:27:20,431
Okay.
348
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:26,479
- What are you doing?
- It's all right.
349
00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:30,108
It's all right. Here. I got you.
I got you. I got you. Look.
350
00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:32,694
The road is all about living the dream,
my friend.
351
00:27:32,777 --> 00:27:34,571
What are you talking about?
What are you doing? What are you doing?
352
00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:37,866
You are gonna pee standing up.
353
00:27:37,949 --> 00:27:40,410
No, no, no. Honestly,
it's not gonna work. It's a mistake.
354
00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:42,078
- It's gonna work. All right?
- No, no, no.
355
00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:43,246
It's fine. I got you.
356
00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:44,998
- Give me a sec.
- I've got you. Shh.
357
00:27:45,081 --> 00:27:47,208
Shh. Shh.
358
00:27:47,292 --> 00:27:50,461
It is okay... Oh! Stop for a second.
Stop for a second.
359
00:27:50,545 --> 00:27:52,171
- I can't stop.
- Grab your penis!
360
00:27:52,255 --> 00:27:55,633
- I am! I've got my penis!
- That's holding your penis?
361
00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:02,640
- Time for a little celebration.
- What are we celebrating?
362
00:28:02,724 --> 00:28:04,893
This is the farthest
you've ever been from home.
363
00:28:04,976 --> 00:28:07,145
What are you talking about?
I lived in England.
364
00:28:07,228 --> 00:28:09,105
You know what I mean.
365
00:28:11,024 --> 00:28:14,360
- You ever had a Slim Jim?
- What do you think?
366
00:28:15,278 --> 00:28:18,406
- I think it's time.
- Not happening. No.
367
00:28:18,489 --> 00:28:21,117
We have enough newness going on here.
368
00:28:22,035 --> 00:28:25,705
Dude, were you...?
Were you just doing air quotes?
369
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,376
Don't... Don't ever do that again.
Trust me.
370
00:28:30,460 --> 00:28:33,671
Come on.
This is what road trips are all about.
371
00:28:35,506 --> 00:28:36,716
No.
372
00:28:38,509 --> 00:28:40,136
It's really good.
373
00:28:40,678 --> 00:28:42,013
Mmm!
374
00:28:42,889 --> 00:28:44,265
Mmm!
375
00:28:44,349 --> 00:28:46,267
That's a hell of a meat stick.
376
00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:48,311
Mmm!
377
00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:49,979
Oh.
378
00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:53,274
Try it? Just try it?
379
00:28:54,025 --> 00:28:57,153
Come on, have a bite of the Jim.
Bite the Jim.
380
00:28:58,154 --> 00:28:59,614
Nibble on the Jim.
381
00:29:00,114 --> 00:29:02,575
Bite of the James? Hm?
382
00:29:02,659 --> 00:29:06,746
Isn't that what they say in your country?
A little bite of the James, shall we?
383
00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:09,290
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
384
00:29:09,749 --> 00:29:12,168
Mmm! Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
385
00:29:12,502 --> 00:29:15,046
Little bite of James!
386
00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:17,590
Go on! Have a bite of James!
387
00:29:19,050 --> 00:29:21,844
Let me see if there's any food
in there I can actually eat.
388
00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:55,378
Cool fucking sneakers.
389
00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:00,842
Mall.
390
00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:22,864
Mall.
391
00:30:24,574 --> 00:30:27,201
What does that even mean? Mall?
392
00:30:28,411 --> 00:30:29,787
It means that's where you get them from.
393
00:30:29,871 --> 00:30:34,625
No, I know, but you didn't get them there.
You got them online.
394
00:30:34,709 --> 00:30:36,169
It's where one would get them.
395
00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:41,215
Although, you didn't say that.
396
00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:44,135
I mean, you didn't say,
"Oh, you know, I got them at the mall."
397
00:30:44,218 --> 00:30:45,887
You just said, "Mall."
398
00:30:47,972 --> 00:30:50,850
Just one word. One syllable.
399
00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:53,728
Well, I thought it was good
to get straight to the point.
400
00:30:54,896 --> 00:30:58,358
Technically, that's the least amount
that you could say to a girl
401
00:30:58,441 --> 00:31:01,277
and still have it qualify
as a conversation.
402
00:31:03,071 --> 00:31:05,323
You know what? I'm wrong.
403
00:31:05,406 --> 00:31:08,451
I'm wrong.
There is something shorter. "Ma."
404
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:11,829
What do you know about girls?
Your wife is trying to divorce you.
405
00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:16,876
- "Cool sneakers." "Ma."
- I'm in a fucking wheelchair, okay?
406
00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:18,336
I could spew Shakespeare shit
407
00:31:18,419 --> 00:31:20,671
and a girl like that's not
gonna be interested in me.
408
00:31:20,755 --> 00:31:24,384
- Ma.
- Fuck you, you're a 45-year-old ass-wiper.
409
00:31:24,467 --> 00:31:25,593
Ma.
410
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:34,018
♪ Ma, ma, ma ♪
411
00:31:34,727 --> 00:31:36,020
♪ Ma, ma, ma ♪
412
00:31:36,104 --> 00:31:39,232
- I think I'm gonna give one of these a go.
- Yeah?
413
00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:40,650
- Yeah.
- Good.
414
00:31:40,733 --> 00:31:42,944
See, I knew
the open road would be good for you.
415
00:31:52,412 --> 00:31:55,039
What do you think? It's good, right?
416
00:32:00,628 --> 00:32:02,130
Nice try.
417
00:32:06,843 --> 00:32:09,011
That's really good. That's really funny.
418
00:32:21,315 --> 00:32:23,526
Would you quit screwing around?
I'm driving.
419
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:27,905
Oh, shit.
420
00:32:37,832 --> 00:32:39,500
Oh, shit.
421
00:32:43,838 --> 00:32:46,048
Come on. Come on.
422
00:32:49,343 --> 00:32:53,139
Goddamn it! Oh, you fucker!
423
00:32:54,474 --> 00:32:57,226
Don't ever do that again!
You scared the shit out of me!
424
00:32:59,770 --> 00:33:03,107
- I'm just kidding.
- Jesus Christ!
425
00:33:08,779 --> 00:33:10,990
You know,
these are actually not that bad.
426
00:33:11,741 --> 00:33:14,494
- Bite of the James?
- Fuck you.
427
00:33:25,087 --> 00:33:28,466
Whoa. Check it out, man.
428
00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:31,677
Moo!
429
00:34:11,133 --> 00:34:14,971
Hey, we're here to see Rufus,
the world's biggest bovine.
430
00:34:15,054 --> 00:34:19,100
Okay, that's gonna be $4 apiece,
and what you're gonna do is...
431
00:34:20,101 --> 00:34:24,438
Oh, I'm, uh... I'm sorry.
We keep, uh, Rufus on the second floor.
432
00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:29,026
- Oh, you don't have handicap access?
- No. Sorry about that.
433
00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:31,445
It's not a problem. Seriously.
434
00:34:31,529 --> 00:34:34,574
What? No. It is a problem.
It's a huge problem.
435
00:34:34,657 --> 00:34:37,451
No, you can go up and take a look at it
and then tell me about it.
436
00:34:37,535 --> 00:34:38,703
No!
437
00:34:40,079 --> 00:34:42,540
You're in violation of codes.
438
00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:47,628
Look, why don't you and your son just
pick out something from our gift shop.
439
00:34:47,712 --> 00:34:49,755
I don't think you understand
the gravity of the situation here.
440
00:34:49,839 --> 00:34:51,799
Wait a sec.
You think we're father and son?
441
00:34:51,882 --> 00:34:55,428
We came to see a giant cow.
We're going to see a giant cow.
442
00:34:55,511 --> 00:34:58,055
I mean, what about the different accents?
Does that not bother you?
443
00:34:58,139 --> 00:35:00,891
- Look. Here's a postcard.
- Postcard?
444
00:35:00,975 --> 00:35:04,145
You think that's gonna solve this? What,
are you working with lead-based paint?
445
00:35:04,228 --> 00:35:06,314
Hey, what the fuck? That's mine.
446
00:35:06,397 --> 00:35:11,444
Look, it's just like a regular cow
but bigger.
447
00:35:11,527 --> 00:35:13,988
And we wanna see it.
And that's your problem.
448
00:35:14,071 --> 00:35:18,284
Because you're the one that went into
the giant cow-showing profession, not me.
449
00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:21,662
So, it's you that's gonna figure out
how we're gonna see a giant fucking cow,
450
00:35:21,746 --> 00:35:24,790
or else I'm gonna call the local news,
and I'm gonna have them send down the guy
451
00:35:24,874 --> 00:35:27,293
that does that "Shame on You"
business-buster thing,
452
00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:30,421
and he's gonna come down
with multiple cameras... Multiple cameras.
453
00:35:30,504 --> 00:35:33,382
and ask you why you think it's okay
that somebody with disabilities
454
00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:35,593
isn't allowed to see a giant cow
like everyone else.
455
00:35:35,676 --> 00:35:37,178
What number are you even dialing
right now?
456
00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:38,846
Shut up.
457
00:35:41,766 --> 00:35:45,436
It's ringing. What's it gonna be?
458
00:35:51,317 --> 00:35:53,027
- Left! And careful, careful, careful.
- Not that much! Not that much!
459
00:35:53,110 --> 00:35:54,570
- I got you, I got you!
- You're gonna crush us, Mikey!
460
00:35:55,613 --> 00:35:57,490
Take as long as you need.
461
00:36:35,027 --> 00:36:36,195
- You good?
- Yeah, you?
462
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:37,446
Yeah.
463
00:36:38,447 --> 00:36:39,990
Thank you.
464
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,372
Come on! I'm losing my grip!
I'm losing my grip!
465
00:36:46,455 --> 00:36:48,124
- No, wait!
- Okay, okay. No, please don't...
466
00:36:50,835 --> 00:36:53,337
Well, I got good news and bad news.
467
00:36:53,421 --> 00:36:56,465
The good news is I talked
to the Make-A-Wish folks,
468
00:36:56,549 --> 00:36:58,634
and Katy Perry is all lined up.
469
00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:04,515
The bad news is
she's refusing to sing "Fireworks."
470
00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:09,520
Apparently, she's done that
with the last four Make-A-Wish kids.
471
00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:12,273
- She feels it's played out.
- I wanna go and see my father.
472
00:37:12,356 --> 00:37:13,774
What?
473
00:37:14,442 --> 00:37:16,569
He owns a car dealership
in Salt Lake City.
474
00:37:16,652 --> 00:37:19,864
- Your father's in America?
- He's an American.
475
00:37:19,947 --> 00:37:23,784
They met in the UK. Made me here,
then we moved back when he ditched us.
476
00:37:23,868 --> 00:37:26,704
I've been thinking about what you said
and I should hear him out.
477
00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:29,832
Oh, I don't... Oh, I don't...
478
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:32,585
Look, I mean...
479
00:37:33,377 --> 00:37:36,380
I just... Here's the thing.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
480
00:37:38,841 --> 00:37:40,885
- I have to talk to your mom.
- No, definitely not.
481
00:37:40,968 --> 00:37:42,803
She isn't gonna let me go.
She barely let me go on this.
482
00:37:43,971 --> 00:37:45,681
Well, you should call him first.
483
00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:48,726
No. No, no, no.
If we're gonna do it, we just do it.
484
00:37:49,226 --> 00:37:51,437
I wanna see the look on his face.
485
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,732
This was your idea.
Don't start pussying out now.
486
00:37:58,819 --> 00:38:00,154
Okay.
487
00:38:04,575 --> 00:38:06,035
What are you gonna say to him?
488
00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:09,163
Isn't it more about
what he's gonna say to me?
489
00:38:18,297 --> 00:38:20,257
Dude, look at this.
490
00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:23,886
I just texted this to your mom.
491
00:38:30,184 --> 00:38:31,519
Oh.
492
00:38:32,937 --> 00:38:37,566
- What do you suppose her deal is?
- Obviously, she wants me bad.
493
00:38:38,484 --> 00:38:41,237
What if she's a runaway
and her parents are looking for her?
494
00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:44,907
Should we give her a ride?
495
00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:47,201
What?
496
00:38:47,284 --> 00:38:49,662
She's hitchhiking.
Maybe we should give her a ride.
497
00:38:49,745 --> 00:38:52,414
- Want to?
- Why, you think we should?
498
00:38:53,707 --> 00:38:56,126
- You're probably right. We shouldn't.
- Well, I didn't said we shouldn't, did I?
499
00:38:56,210 --> 00:38:59,588
I said that, you know, it's just like,
whatever. If you want to, then...
500
00:38:59,672 --> 00:39:03,300
Then I guess we can. If you're feeling
fatherly and protective and shit.
501
00:39:03,384 --> 00:39:05,511
Nah, forget it.
502
00:39:16,188 --> 00:39:18,023
I'm worried about her parents.
503
00:39:19,608 --> 00:39:22,194
Yeah? Worried about her parents, are you?
504
00:39:22,278 --> 00:39:24,947
Deeply, actually.
'Cause she's out there alone.
505
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:26,907
And in today's world,
there's no telling what could happen.
506
00:39:26,991 --> 00:39:31,412
There's all sorts of sickos out there.
And quite possibly in here.
507
00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:37,668
Let's do it.
508
00:39:39,169 --> 00:39:42,631
- Seriously?
- Yeah. Let's give her a ride.
509
00:39:44,717 --> 00:39:46,969
Okay. Yeah, why not, right?
510
00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:51,724
- Yeah, okay, yeah. Let's do it.
- Yeah. Go ask her.
511
00:39:52,892 --> 00:39:55,978
- What? Me?
- Yeah. You.
512
00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:57,396
No, I'm not asking. I can't ask her.
513
00:39:57,479 --> 00:39:59,315
- I'm not asking her.
- Why?
514
00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:01,984
Because I can't, okay?
Don't be a dick. You ask her.
515
00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:05,362
Man, if I go ask her, you're gonna be
watching it through this window
516
00:40:05,446 --> 00:40:07,364
like you were watching TV.
517
00:40:15,915 --> 00:40:19,293
You know, when I get home, I'm gonna
put you on the roadside attractions map.
518
00:40:19,376 --> 00:40:21,128
World's biggest dick.
519
00:40:24,298 --> 00:40:28,302
Hey, hey, hey. Let me just give you
a little bit of advice, okay?
520
00:40:29,136 --> 00:40:33,474
- What?
- Go with that mall rap again.
521
00:40:34,808 --> 00:40:38,354
I don't know if you remember it.
It's just one word. Just "mall."
522
00:40:41,732 --> 00:40:44,652
- I'm giving you the finger.
- Well, not really.
523
00:41:18,102 --> 00:41:19,353
I got it.
524
00:41:30,572 --> 00:41:33,742
- Hi there.
- Who the fuck are you?
525
00:41:33,826 --> 00:41:38,539
- Ben. My name's Ben.
- Oh, shit. Are you a pervert?
526
00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:42,668
- What?
- Look, I'm 21. Full-on adult.
527
00:41:42,751 --> 00:41:45,045
So, if you're into picking up kids
on the highway,
528
00:41:45,129 --> 00:41:49,216
- please just leave me the fuck alone.
- I'm not a pervert.
529
00:41:49,299 --> 00:41:51,760
That's exactly what a pervert would say.
530
00:41:51,844 --> 00:41:55,431
Right. I just wanna help you out.
531
00:41:55,514 --> 00:41:57,975
Are you hungry?
Do you want something to eat?
532
00:42:00,769 --> 00:42:02,438
I'm harmless.
533
00:42:07,860 --> 00:42:09,445
Fine. I could use some coffee.
534
00:42:11,447 --> 00:42:14,908
If you're a pervert,
I swear, I'll kick your fucking ass.
535
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:25,836
Here.
536
00:42:31,508 --> 00:42:34,970
- You're the kid with the cool sneakers.
- Yeah.
537
00:42:35,054 --> 00:42:37,139
So, what's wrong with you?
538
00:42:38,849 --> 00:42:42,186
I have, uh... Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.
539
00:42:43,312 --> 00:42:45,439
Shit. That sounds bad.
540
00:42:45,522 --> 00:42:48,358
- Can they fix it?
- No. Not yet.
541
00:42:48,442 --> 00:42:50,611
- That fucking blows.
- Yeah.
542
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:54,198
- Does it hurt?
- No. I mean, kind of.
543
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:57,826
- Does it affect your brains?
- No.
544
00:42:57,910 --> 00:43:00,662
- Does your penis work?
- You want a menu?
545
00:43:00,746 --> 00:43:03,791
Can we have a menu? What would you like?
You want a sandwich?
546
00:43:03,874 --> 00:43:05,125
You want some eggs maybe?
547
00:43:05,209 --> 00:43:08,670
- The waffles are really good. Right, Trev?
- Yeah.
548
00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:12,174
Yeah, the waffles are good
or, yeah, your penis works?
549
00:43:17,012 --> 00:43:18,639
The waffles suck.
550
00:43:22,142 --> 00:43:24,603
- I'm Dot.
- Trevor.
551
00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:27,397
You two perverts got room for one more?
552
00:43:35,364 --> 00:43:39,076
- So, what's in Denver?
- Starting my life, Mervin.
553
00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:40,661
Maybe go to art school.
554
00:43:40,744 --> 00:43:42,663
My mom always said
Denver was a good place
555
00:43:42,746 --> 00:43:46,291
because the high altitude makes
the air less complicated.
556
00:43:46,375 --> 00:43:47,668
Ah.
557
00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:50,295
- Does your mom know you're hitchhiking?
- No.
558
00:43:51,255 --> 00:43:52,631
Think you should tell her?
559
00:43:52,714 --> 00:43:55,050
She's dead,
so that might be a little difficult.
560
00:43:55,134 --> 00:43:58,137
- Unless you have psychic powers.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
561
00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:01,974
- I'm sorry, too. We're both sorry.
- Oh, it's okay.
562
00:44:02,057 --> 00:44:04,393
Kathy was so fucking rad.
563
00:44:04,476 --> 00:44:06,895
She would do shit for people,
564
00:44:06,979 --> 00:44:09,898
like, without them even asking,
she would just do it.
565
00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:11,150
And then, like, three years ago,
566
00:44:11,233 --> 00:44:14,945
she gets this random blood disease
out of nowhere.
567
00:44:15,028 --> 00:44:17,072
Just bullshit on a stick if you ask me.
568
00:44:17,156 --> 00:44:22,703
Yeah, it's total bullshit. And on a stick.
Like the world's least delicious lollipop.
569
00:44:23,996 --> 00:44:27,040
What about your dad?
Does he know where you are?
570
00:44:27,124 --> 00:44:30,127
No. I left him a note, though.
571
00:44:33,755 --> 00:44:38,927
- What's that? What's wrong?
- Nothing. It's a... It's a dash light.
572
00:44:39,011 --> 00:44:41,555
Where... Where are we?
When's the nearest exit?
573
00:44:41,638 --> 00:44:45,475
No, it's fine, Trevor. I had
the engine serviced. It's okay, Trevor.
574
00:44:45,559 --> 00:44:47,603
Maybe we should just pull over
and see what's... Check just to...
575
00:44:47,686 --> 00:44:49,855
- Just so you can check it over.
- Trevor, it's fine.
576
00:44:49,938 --> 00:44:53,317
Those lights don't mean shit.
Just keep going. Trevor, tell him.
577
00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:55,861
Keep going.
578
00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:02,910
You know what?
Trevor, I know you wanna keep going,
579
00:45:02,993 --> 00:45:05,162
but maybe we should just pull off,
find a place to stay tonight
580
00:45:05,245 --> 00:45:07,414
and then I'll get it checked out
in the morning.
581
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:11,418
Look, I told his mom I'd keep him safe.
I'm sorry. That's what we're gonna do.
582
00:45:13,086 --> 00:45:18,050
What a fucking pussy.
Why are old people such pussies?
583
00:45:18,133 --> 00:45:23,096
Is it gradual, or one day you just wake up
and you look in the mirror and you say:
584
00:45:23,180 --> 00:45:25,515
"Today I am a giant fucking pussy"?
585
00:45:25,599 --> 00:45:28,352
Yeah, Ben. Why you are such
a giant fucking pussy?
586
00:45:28,435 --> 00:45:30,437
You wanna...?
Should we keep going? We can...
587
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,023
I mean, I'm certainly okay to go,
and it's a bit...
588
00:45:33,106 --> 00:45:34,942
- It's kind of playing with fire...
- No, no.
589
00:45:35,025 --> 00:45:39,488
- You said you wanted stop, so we can stop.
- Yeah, no, let's pull over.
590
00:45:41,657 --> 00:45:42,908
Such a giant pussy.
591
00:45:50,457 --> 00:45:53,043
So, what's the deal
with the deep pit or whatever?
592
00:45:53,126 --> 00:45:54,127
Oh.
593
00:45:54,211 --> 00:45:55,921
In the '70s some scientist dudes
594
00:45:56,004 --> 00:45:58,173
made a little tiny hole six miles
deep straight down,
595
00:45:58,256 --> 00:46:01,718
trying to get to the center of the Earth.
Named it The World's Deepest Pit.
596
00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:03,261
I think I just like the name.
597
00:46:04,096 --> 00:46:06,848
So, your dream is to see a big hole
in the ground?
598
00:46:07,808 --> 00:46:11,853
I've always been an overachiever.
I'm also gonna see my father.
599
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:15,524
Is your dad a fuck-up, too?
600
00:46:15,607 --> 00:46:18,026
I wouldn't know. He left when I was three,
when I was diagnosed.
601
00:46:19,778 --> 00:46:22,489
That's really bullshit on a stick.
602
00:46:23,156 --> 00:46:25,951
- Why are you seeing him?
- His idea.
603
00:46:26,034 --> 00:46:28,286
Thinks I should forgive him.
604
00:46:29,621 --> 00:46:31,373
I wouldn't forgive him.
605
00:46:33,792 --> 00:46:37,546
- We're being followed.
- What do you mean, we're being followed?
606
00:46:37,629 --> 00:46:40,215
There's a car in the parking lot.
I noticed it around Ritzville.
607
00:46:42,384 --> 00:46:44,219
I told Janet we were going to Salt Lake.
608
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:46,680
She must have sent someone
with a court order.
609
00:46:47,848 --> 00:46:49,891
- Who's Janet?
- His wife.
610
00:46:49,975 --> 00:46:53,687
Your wife issued a court order
against you? That's great.
611
00:46:53,770 --> 00:46:56,398
She's trying to divorce him as well,
but he won't sign the divorce papers
612
00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:57,774
- because he's a...
- Dude.
613
00:46:57,858 --> 00:47:01,945
Yeah. I can't say.
Solemn bond between us.
614
00:47:03,155 --> 00:47:05,365
- I'll tell you later.
- Okay.
615
00:47:09,161 --> 00:47:12,289
If there's a knock on this door,
no one answers.
616
00:47:13,540 --> 00:47:16,043
If there's a knock
on that door...
617
00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:18,962
I'm going to smoke.
618
00:47:22,591 --> 00:47:25,427
Don't worry, Mervin.
I'll hide in the bushes.
619
00:47:29,264 --> 00:47:30,766
Hi, Mervin.
620
00:47:30,849 --> 00:47:34,394
Shut up, or tomorrow
I'll put your clothes on inside out.
621
00:48:08,345 --> 00:48:09,846
Morning.
622
00:48:12,349 --> 00:48:16,061
I, uh... took the car to a gas station
623
00:48:16,144 --> 00:48:18,396
and it's totally fine.
624
00:48:18,855 --> 00:48:20,565
It's just a fuse.
625
00:48:25,654 --> 00:48:28,156
- Where's Dot?
- She's outside.
626
00:48:28,865 --> 00:48:29,783
You ready?
627
00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:23,480
Hey there, it's Janet.
Please leave a message.
628
00:50:24,105 --> 00:50:26,191
Is this really necessary, huh?
629
00:50:26,274 --> 00:50:28,568
To hire some goon to follow me
across the country?
630
00:50:28,652 --> 00:50:31,446
It's bullshit, Janet. On a stick.
631
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,866
He does that.
He took one of my things the other day.
632
00:50:35,742 --> 00:50:37,619
You know what's bullshit on a stick?
633
00:50:37,702 --> 00:50:40,497
I went 18 years on this planet and
no one ever told me about a Slim Jim.
634
00:50:40,580 --> 00:50:43,041
Humans didn't need to invent
any other food.
635
00:50:46,503 --> 00:50:48,129
Fuck, yeah.
636
00:51:09,818 --> 00:51:11,653
Right? And it's not just me!
637
00:51:11,736 --> 00:51:13,989
I can't piss for you!
Just try it! Concentrate!
638
00:51:14,072 --> 00:51:15,407
What? Put your arm...
639
00:51:15,490 --> 00:51:17,075
- I don't wanna pee.
- Put your arm on the wall.
640
00:51:19,286 --> 00:51:21,746
Pick a number
between one and 3,500.
641
00:51:21,830 --> 00:51:24,291
- Okay, I want three guesses.
- You don't get three guesses.
642
00:51:24,374 --> 00:51:27,419
You get one guess,
between one and 3,500. Go.
643
00:51:27,502 --> 00:51:30,547
Okay, okay, okay.
One thousand, four hundred and fifty-two.
644
00:51:31,506 --> 00:51:33,216
Oh, my God.
No one's ever gotten it before.
645
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:35,176
- I can't believe you got it.
- Oh, you're so lying right now.
646
00:51:35,260 --> 00:51:37,846
I'm not lying. You got it.
I am flabbergasted.
647
00:51:37,929 --> 00:51:39,055
- Are you serious?
- Good move.
648
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:40,223
No, I'm not serious.
649
00:51:40,307 --> 00:51:43,143
- Fuck you.
- Yeah, sorry.
650
00:51:48,982 --> 00:51:50,608
Whoa, look at that.
651
00:51:55,697 --> 00:51:57,949
I'm gonna see if she needs some help.
652
00:52:03,580 --> 00:52:06,166
- Hey.
- Hi.
653
00:52:06,249 --> 00:52:08,626
- How's it going there?
- Not good.
654
00:52:08,710 --> 00:52:10,587
I've been looking at all this,
655
00:52:10,670 --> 00:52:14,466
but I don't really know anything
about cars.
656
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:18,428
I think something might be on fire.
657
00:52:19,554 --> 00:52:23,183
- You want me to call you a tow truck?
- Thanks. Um...
658
00:52:23,850 --> 00:52:29,356
Whew! I can't really afford to fix it.
I probably shouldn't have driven it.
659
00:52:30,023 --> 00:52:32,525
- Where are you headed?
- Grand Island, Nebraska.
660
00:52:32,609 --> 00:52:35,111
Nebraska?
You're driving by yourself to Nebraska?
661
00:52:35,195 --> 00:52:37,322
I'm going to see my mom.
662
00:52:37,405 --> 00:52:38,990
I'm pregnant.
663
00:52:39,491 --> 00:52:41,993
- What's your name?
- Peaches.
664
00:52:42,077 --> 00:52:43,244
I'm Ben.
665
00:52:43,828 --> 00:52:45,455
- Hi.
- Hi.
666
00:52:47,374 --> 00:52:49,751
- Just a second.
- Okay.
667
00:52:52,420 --> 00:52:54,631
Well, her car is shot.
668
00:52:55,298 --> 00:52:57,759
She's heading to Nebraska.
669
00:52:57,842 --> 00:52:59,344
I mean, we could take her
all the way to Salt Lake
670
00:52:59,427 --> 00:53:02,055
and maybe put her on a bus
for the rest of the way.
671
00:53:03,014 --> 00:53:04,849
What is wrong with you?
672
00:53:04,933 --> 00:53:07,685
You don't put a pregnant lady on a bus.
673
00:53:07,769 --> 00:53:09,229
We'll take her the whole way.
674
00:53:09,312 --> 00:53:10,939
Oh, well,
we don't really have that kind of time.
675
00:53:11,022 --> 00:53:14,025
Mervin. She's pregnant.
676
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:16,861
You sure about this?
677
00:53:16,945 --> 00:53:19,864
- We don't know her.
- No, absolutely. Yeah. It's what we do.
678
00:53:19,948 --> 00:53:21,991
We're a taxicab for America.
679
00:53:24,035 --> 00:53:25,286
He's so much cooler than you.
680
00:53:26,788 --> 00:53:30,792
You hear that?
handsome and cool.
681
00:53:31,668 --> 00:53:35,088
- I never said handsome.
- Well, pretty sure you did.
682
00:53:39,926 --> 00:53:41,886
So, how pregnant are you, Peaches?
683
00:53:42,887 --> 00:53:47,225
Uh, just a few more weeks
until baby Elton joins the world.
684
00:53:47,308 --> 00:53:50,019
I'm naming him after his father.
685
00:53:50,103 --> 00:53:53,356
- Is Elton's father in Nebraska?
- Afghanistan.
686
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,317
- Really? He's a soldier?
- Yes.
687
00:53:56,401 --> 00:54:00,321
Private First Class, U.S. Army.
Second tour.
688
00:54:00,405 --> 00:54:03,450
He just got deployed again.
It kind of took us all by surprise.
689
00:54:03,533 --> 00:54:06,828
So, I'm scurrying back to Nebraska
to be with my mom.
690
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:08,746
Did he see any action
when he was there the first time?
691
00:54:08,830 --> 00:54:12,542
Oh, yeah.
But he wouldn't want me talking about it.
692
00:54:12,625 --> 00:54:14,461
Oh, you have to.
It's what you do on the road.
693
00:54:14,544 --> 00:54:17,672
- Dot's already bored us with her story.
- Asshole.
694
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:19,215
I'm... I'm just kidding.
695
00:54:19,299 --> 00:54:21,718
It's okay.
I kind of have a thing for assholes.
696
00:54:21,801 --> 00:54:23,553
Continue, Peaches.
697
00:54:24,095 --> 00:54:27,640
Okay, well,
he was on a mission with his buddies,
698
00:54:27,724 --> 00:54:30,518
and they got trapped by enemy rebels.
699
00:54:30,602 --> 00:54:33,813
I know he's not one for bragging,
so I probably shouldn't brag on him,
700
00:54:33,897 --> 00:54:35,899
but he saved everybody.
701
00:54:35,982 --> 00:54:38,359
He ran through enemy fire to get help.
702
00:54:38,443 --> 00:54:40,820
Trev, what would you do in that situation?
703
00:54:40,904 --> 00:54:42,906
Oh, I'd most likely shit myself.
704
00:54:42,989 --> 00:54:45,617
And I most likely would
have to clean it up.
705
00:54:47,035 --> 00:54:50,914
- Don't worry about them. They're idiots.
- Oh, okay.
706
00:54:50,997 --> 00:54:53,249
I have to clean him up
when he shits himself.
707
00:54:53,333 --> 00:54:54,250
God.
708
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:57,712
All right.
709
00:54:57,795 --> 00:55:00,256
Two rooms tonight. We're living large.
710
00:55:01,674 --> 00:55:04,135
Man, I am starving.
711
00:55:04,219 --> 00:55:06,638
I think there's an all-night diner
across the street.
712
00:55:06,721 --> 00:55:07,972
What do you think?
713
00:55:08,389 --> 00:55:10,767
Oh, well, Peaches said she was too tired.
714
00:55:11,643 --> 00:55:14,020
Oh, all right.
Well, I guess it'll be the three of us.
715
00:55:14,103 --> 00:55:16,731
I'm getting a patty melt.
I don't give a shit.
716
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,484
Look, maybe, uh...
717
00:55:19,567 --> 00:55:22,028
Maybe you could be too tired as well.
718
00:55:23,238 --> 00:55:25,156
What? Oh.
719
00:55:25,240 --> 00:55:26,574
Oh, okay.
720
00:55:26,658 --> 00:55:27,951
Wow.
721
00:55:28,493 --> 00:55:30,537
Come a long way since, "mall."
722
00:55:31,162 --> 00:55:34,332
Hey, guys, Peaches is already asleep.
You guys wanna get something to eat?
723
00:55:34,958 --> 00:55:39,212
You know, um... Do you guys mind
maybe just going by yourselves?
724
00:55:39,295 --> 00:55:42,006
I'm pretty beat.
I think there's a place across the street.
725
00:55:42,090 --> 00:55:43,591
Oh.
726
00:55:55,061 --> 00:55:57,647
Oh, come on. How obvious is this?
727
00:55:57,730 --> 00:55:59,941
No, it's not... He's totally...
It's a long... It's been a long day.
728
00:56:00,024 --> 00:56:01,234
Yeah.
729
00:56:05,488 --> 00:56:08,032
Are you asking me on a date?
730
00:56:14,247 --> 00:56:15,623
Yes, I am.
731
00:56:20,837 --> 00:56:22,589
Pick me up next door when you're ready.
732
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:30,972
Dude!
733
00:56:31,055 --> 00:56:33,600
You were like James Bond there.
734
00:56:34,183 --> 00:56:36,603
That was the most badass thing
I've ever seen in my life.
735
00:56:36,686 --> 00:56:39,230
Come on, man. Give me a...
Give me a little sugar. Give it up.
736
00:56:39,314 --> 00:56:41,816
My people don't high-five.
Trust me, it's worse than the air quotes.
737
00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:44,193
Come on. Don't leave me hanging.
738
00:56:45,695 --> 00:56:49,157
Yeah, no. That... You're...
That was terrible. You were right.
739
00:56:54,245 --> 00:56:56,497
Handsome and cool, Ben.
You got it?
740
00:56:56,581 --> 00:56:57,707
Right.
741
00:56:57,790 --> 00:57:01,085
I'm just gonna give you
your medicines before you go.
742
00:57:08,885 --> 00:57:10,803
- What?
- Nothing.
743
00:57:11,638 --> 00:57:13,222
What do you mean, nothing? What is it?
744
00:57:20,313 --> 00:57:23,149
- Ben, what is it?
- Nothing.
745
00:57:24,359 --> 00:57:25,360
Uh...
746
00:57:27,278 --> 00:57:28,738
Oh, shit.
747
00:57:30,156 --> 00:57:31,032
What?
748
00:57:31,699 --> 00:57:33,159
Uh...
749
00:57:35,745 --> 00:57:37,664
Shi... Shit.
750
00:57:37,747 --> 00:57:39,457
Ben, what the fuck? What is it?
751
00:57:40,249 --> 00:57:41,668
Um...
752
00:57:43,252 --> 00:57:45,964
I think I left your medicines
in the other hotel.
753
00:57:46,047 --> 00:57:48,925
With the C-pap machine.
They were all together.
754
00:57:51,052 --> 00:57:52,720
Oh, fuck.
755
00:57:53,388 --> 00:57:55,139
Are you fucking kidding me?
756
00:57:55,223 --> 00:57:57,558
That's not a face cream, okay?
I need that shit to live.
757
00:57:57,642 --> 00:58:00,812
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
It's, um...
758
00:58:00,895 --> 00:58:02,897
Uh... Shit, you know...
759
00:58:02,981 --> 00:58:05,817
- Oh, fuck.
- Listen, it's fine. It's fine, all right?
760
00:58:05,900 --> 00:58:07,944
I'm gonna call a 24-hour pharmacy
and I'm gonna...
761
00:58:08,027 --> 00:58:10,613
No, we're in Podunk U.S.A.
They're not gonna have shit. Oh, fuck.
762
00:58:10,697 --> 00:58:13,658
- I knew one of your spells would kill me.
- No, it's not...
763
00:58:13,741 --> 00:58:16,869
Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
764
00:58:16,953 --> 00:58:18,454
I'm sorry.
Look, I'm really sorry, all right?
765
00:58:18,538 --> 00:58:20,623
- I don't know what happened.
- I know what happened. You're an idiot.
766
00:58:20,707 --> 00:58:22,542
- You're a fucking idiot.
- I'm not.
767
00:58:22,625 --> 00:58:25,294
I'm not, all right? I'm not an idiot.
768
00:58:25,378 --> 00:58:27,880
I'm... hilarious.
769
00:58:30,717 --> 00:58:33,803
Oh... Oh, my hands are numb.
770
00:58:34,262 --> 00:58:35,888
Are you kidding me?
771
00:58:36,514 --> 00:58:41,102
This is when you decide to play the prank?
When I'm about to go on my first date?
772
00:58:42,353 --> 00:58:44,897
I... It just seemed funnier that way.
773
00:58:47,692 --> 00:58:49,068
Agreed.
774
00:59:08,337 --> 00:59:10,798
I told you, I only date assholes.
775
00:59:10,882 --> 00:59:13,676
Yes. And I'm not an asshole.
776
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:15,803
And since you want an asshole,
my not being an asshole
777
00:59:15,887 --> 00:59:18,306
makes me more of an asshole
than the assholes that you normally date,
778
00:59:18,389 --> 00:59:19,849
because they're giving you
exactly what you want,
779
00:59:19,932 --> 00:59:22,351
whereas I, by not being an asshole,
am not.
780
00:59:25,271 --> 00:59:26,856
Which makes me an asshole.
781
00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:31,235
I can't believe
I actually understood that.
782
01:00:34,966 --> 01:00:36,342
- Hi.
- Hi.
783
01:00:36,425 --> 01:00:37,552
I woke up.
784
01:00:38,427 --> 01:00:40,805
- May I come in?
- Yeah, sure.
785
01:00:44,016 --> 01:00:45,726
I was just, uh...
786
01:00:45,810 --> 01:00:47,019
Here.
787
01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:49,480
Thank you.
788
01:00:58,656 --> 01:01:00,783
They're really sweet.
789
01:01:01,534 --> 01:01:03,327
Yeah.
790
01:01:05,580 --> 01:01:08,166
Baby's Elton's kicking.
You wanna feel him?
791
01:01:09,625 --> 01:01:14,547
- Oh, no, thanks, that's... That's okay...
- Oh, come on, he wants to say hi.
792
01:01:14,630 --> 01:01:15,798
It's... I don't... I...
793
01:01:20,303 --> 01:01:21,637
Dot told me about you.
794
01:01:22,263 --> 01:01:23,514
She did?
795
01:01:31,898 --> 01:01:34,108
What's it like being a parent?
796
01:01:37,028 --> 01:01:39,155
Every corny thing you've ever heard
about having a kid
797
01:01:39,238 --> 01:01:41,657
is completely and utterly true.
798
01:01:44,827 --> 01:01:47,038
It's the only reason we're here.
799
01:01:58,841 --> 01:02:02,178
- Hey. See you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
800
01:02:07,892 --> 01:02:09,602
How was it?
801
01:02:10,770 --> 01:02:13,064
She didn't let me eat waffles.
802
01:02:13,940 --> 01:02:16,359
No? What'd you have?
803
01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:19,237
French toast.
804
01:02:34,752 --> 01:02:36,420
Not tonight.
805
01:02:40,299 --> 01:02:41,550
All right.
806
01:03:29,265 --> 01:03:30,558
You ready?
807
01:04:00,004 --> 01:04:01,922
Hi. May I find you a salesman?
808
01:04:02,298 --> 01:04:05,551
Uh, yeah, my friend here is looking
for Bob Richardson.
809
01:04:05,634 --> 01:04:06,802
Is he available?
810
01:04:06,886 --> 01:04:09,388
- Why don't I get you one of our salesmen.
- We need Bob.
811
01:04:09,764 --> 01:04:10,890
Tell him it's Trevor.
812
01:04:10,973 --> 01:04:12,933
And if that doesn't jog his memory,
say, "He's in a wheelchair."
813
01:04:13,017 --> 01:04:15,227
And if that doesn't jog his memory,
say, "He's your son."
814
01:04:15,311 --> 01:04:18,773
And if that doesn't jog his memory,
say, "You're an enormous dick."
815
01:04:20,232 --> 01:04:21,942
Actually, just say that anyway.
816
01:04:24,737 --> 01:04:26,864
I will be right back.
817
01:04:27,656 --> 01:04:28,908
Okay.
818
01:04:37,792 --> 01:04:39,627
Just give him a chance.
819
01:04:42,755 --> 01:04:44,048
Right this way.
820
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:46,300
Bob will be with you in just a minute.
821
01:04:58,479 --> 01:05:03,943
Hey, Trevor. This is a... nice surprise.
822
01:05:04,026 --> 01:05:05,111
Hello.
823
01:05:06,237 --> 01:05:09,615
So, what brings you to town?
824
01:05:10,533 --> 01:05:12,451
Yeah, I'm doing some traveling.
825
01:05:12,535 --> 01:05:14,328
Wow. Great.
826
01:05:15,079 --> 01:05:17,081
How's your mom doing?
827
01:05:17,164 --> 01:05:20,584
She's doing great, actually.
She's got a good job at the bank.
828
01:05:20,668 --> 01:05:22,336
Transferred her here, so...
829
01:05:23,045 --> 01:05:24,880
Terrific.
830
01:05:25,423 --> 01:05:30,052
So, what can I do for you today?
831
01:05:39,770 --> 01:05:43,149
I figured it was about time
I answered these.
832
01:05:47,027 --> 01:05:48,320
Uh...
833
01:05:50,865 --> 01:05:52,783
"Dear Trevor."
834
01:05:55,202 --> 01:05:56,829
Oh...
835
01:05:57,246 --> 01:05:58,622
What?
836
01:06:01,167 --> 01:06:05,546
Elsa always wanted me to write you,
837
01:06:06,297 --> 01:06:09,592
and I didn't think that was a great idea.
838
01:06:09,675 --> 01:06:11,177
So...
839
01:06:12,470 --> 01:06:14,889
I'm... I'm sorry.
840
01:06:15,514 --> 01:06:18,267
Your mom wrote these.
841
01:06:25,983 --> 01:06:27,401
Okay.
842
01:06:31,030 --> 01:06:33,073
I think we better go.
843
01:06:33,157 --> 01:06:35,075
Trevor. Wait.
844
01:06:43,584 --> 01:06:45,544
Let me give you some money.
845
01:06:47,046 --> 01:06:52,134
Here. I got 160 bucks on me.
846
01:06:52,218 --> 01:06:53,719
What do you say?
847
01:06:55,429 --> 01:06:56,722
Take it.
848
01:06:57,264 --> 01:06:58,974
I want you to have it.
849
01:07:37,429 --> 01:07:39,932
Hey. Listen to me.
850
01:07:42,768 --> 01:07:44,520
Why'd I do that?
851
01:07:45,604 --> 01:07:47,606
Remember when you said to me
that you'd wipe my ass
852
01:07:47,690 --> 01:07:49,817
until there was no more shit left on it?
853
01:07:51,318 --> 01:07:53,737
Well, there is shit. It's all shit.
854
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:56,740
I'm shit. You're shit. It's everywhere.
855
01:07:56,824 --> 01:08:01,453
It's the Ben Benjamin Traveling Shit Show
and you're the star.
856
01:08:04,582 --> 01:08:06,125
I wanna go home.
857
01:08:07,751 --> 01:08:09,086
Look. Stop, stop.
858
01:08:10,963 --> 01:08:14,466
Your father's an asshole, all right?
And I'm sorry about that.
859
01:08:14,550 --> 01:08:17,428
And I'm sorry if I pushed you to see him.
But I didn't make him an asshole.
860
01:08:17,511 --> 01:08:19,096
He just is one.
861
01:08:19,805 --> 01:08:22,766
Hey, man, look. I'm just a guy,
you know, trying to get through the day.
862
01:08:22,850 --> 01:08:24,268
Just like you.
863
01:08:25,102 --> 01:08:27,980
- I'm trying to help you.
- No, you're not.
864
01:08:28,606 --> 01:08:30,274
You're not trying to help me.
865
01:08:30,357 --> 01:08:33,319
This is not about me. It's about you.
866
01:08:33,402 --> 01:08:35,279
It's all been about you.
867
01:08:37,698 --> 01:08:41,368
Look, I know that it was hard in there,
but I think you're better off for...
868
01:08:41,452 --> 01:08:44,788
No, you... Listen, you're not my father.
Okay? You're not my father.
869
01:08:45,706 --> 01:08:47,207
I know.
870
01:08:47,291 --> 01:08:48,500
Do you?
871
01:08:49,168 --> 01:08:52,379
Let me ask you something.
Why'd you become a caregiver?
872
01:08:53,339 --> 01:08:54,381
I needed a job.
873
01:08:54,465 --> 01:08:57,926
Well, there are a lot of jobs out there
that don't involve taking care of a kid.
874
01:08:58,385 --> 01:09:00,846
I didn't know you were a kid
when I went for the interview.
875
01:09:06,477 --> 01:09:07,770
What do you think...?
876
01:09:07,853 --> 01:09:10,814
You think I'm looking
for redemption through you?
877
01:09:10,898 --> 01:09:13,817
You think I want you to fix me?
Is that it?
878
01:09:16,236 --> 01:09:17,905
My son died.
879
01:09:18,656 --> 01:09:21,158
You can't fix me.
880
01:09:23,619 --> 01:09:25,371
And I don't want to.
881
01:09:25,871 --> 01:09:27,122
Okay?
882
01:09:27,498 --> 01:09:30,793
So, you keep your problems over there
and I'll keep my problems over here.
883
01:09:30,876 --> 01:09:35,130
You wipe my ass, and I'll say thank you.
End of fucking story.
884
01:09:58,362 --> 01:10:01,532
Are we still going to the big pit?
885
01:10:01,615 --> 01:10:02,866
No.
886
01:10:08,414 --> 01:10:11,458
- Fine.
- Not fucking fine!
887
01:10:12,543 --> 01:10:14,211
I have exactly one life.
888
01:10:14,294 --> 01:10:17,506
And for reasons
I myself don't really understand,
889
01:10:17,589 --> 01:10:20,634
I now believe that
that life will not be fulfilled
890
01:10:20,718 --> 01:10:24,263
unless I am standing at the bottom
of the world's deepest pit
891
01:10:24,346 --> 01:10:26,473
with you two perverts.
892
01:10:26,557 --> 01:10:28,183
And this beautiful mom-to-be.
893
01:10:28,267 --> 01:10:30,811
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
894
01:10:30,894 --> 01:10:34,189
So, start the car.
We're going to the fucking pit.
895
01:10:35,190 --> 01:10:36,734
Yay.
896
01:11:56,563 --> 01:11:58,065
Holy fuck.
897
01:12:14,289 --> 01:12:15,874
Wow.
898
01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:21,839
I thought I'd like it 'cause it's lame,
but it's actually pretty cool.
899
01:12:24,132 --> 01:12:26,051
Let's go to the bottom.
900
01:12:47,865 --> 01:12:51,702
I'll catch up with you guys, all right?
I left my phone in the car.
901
01:12:51,785 --> 01:12:54,872
We got Slim Jims, Mervin. We'll be fine.
902
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:16,435
I know who you are.
903
01:13:17,561 --> 01:13:18,437
What?
904
01:13:19,021 --> 01:13:21,773
Janet didn't send you. Elsa did.
905
01:13:22,482 --> 01:13:23,775
Who's Elsa?
906
01:13:24,484 --> 01:13:25,986
Trevor's mom.
907
01:13:26,737 --> 01:13:29,948
- Who's Trevor?
- What?
908
01:13:30,032 --> 01:13:32,200
Are you following Peaches?
909
01:13:35,120 --> 01:13:36,580
Dorothy.
910
01:13:36,663 --> 01:13:39,333
- Dot?
- Yeah, I'm her father.
911
01:13:40,208 --> 01:13:44,254
I mean, who are you? I mean, why...?
Why are you driving my daughter around?
912
01:13:44,338 --> 01:13:47,674
Hey, man, I didn't ask for any of this.
I'm just taking a kid to Salt Lake.
913
01:13:47,758 --> 01:13:50,052
I saw your daughter, I bought her a meal,
I gave her a ride.
914
01:13:50,135 --> 01:13:51,386
I was just trying to be decent.
915
01:13:52,179 --> 01:13:53,513
Oh.
916
01:13:54,681 --> 01:13:57,392
Well, I guess I owe you a thanks.
917
01:13:58,936 --> 01:14:00,395
You don't owe me anything.
918
01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:02,981
Look, I'm never gonna win
Dad of the Year, okay?
919
01:14:03,065 --> 01:14:05,233
But I sure as shit wasn't gonna let
my little girl get
920
01:14:05,317 --> 01:14:07,653
from Olympia to Denver on her own.
921
01:14:08,487 --> 01:14:13,116
Dorothy and I, we got some issues,
but we're connected, you know?
922
01:14:13,450 --> 01:14:16,954
Just... Just trying my best here.
923
01:14:17,913 --> 01:14:19,247
I get it.
924
01:14:20,999 --> 01:14:22,709
Is it okay if I tail you
the rest of the way?
925
01:14:22,793 --> 01:14:27,506
I... I won't get in your way, I'm just...
I just wanna make sure she's safe.
926
01:14:29,049 --> 01:14:30,676
Yeah, sure thing.
927
01:14:34,054 --> 01:14:35,305
Thanks.
928
01:14:44,564 --> 01:14:45,482
Hello?
929
01:14:45,565 --> 01:14:47,776
- Ben! Come downstairs quickly!
- Hello?
930
01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:50,362
It's me, Dot. It's an emergency!
931
01:14:50,445 --> 01:14:52,239
- Come... Now!
- What's the matter? What's the...?
932
01:14:52,322 --> 01:14:53,782
Can you hear me? Hello? Hello?
933
01:15:10,215 --> 01:15:12,300
- Is there a doctor here?
- How about a nurse?
934
01:15:12,384 --> 01:15:15,178
- Anyone here a doctor?
- With any kind of medical training?
935
01:15:15,262 --> 01:15:17,931
- Oh, no!
- She's having the baby.
936
01:15:18,015 --> 01:15:21,143
- Help.
- I don't... I don't know what to do.
937
01:15:21,226 --> 01:15:22,644
Please.
938
01:15:30,318 --> 01:15:31,653
Ben!
939
01:15:33,905 --> 01:15:35,157
Ben!
940
01:15:35,949 --> 01:15:37,409
She needs your help! Do something!
941
01:15:38,535 --> 01:15:42,873
Call 911! Call 911! Call 911!
All right, all right, all right.
942
01:15:42,956 --> 01:15:45,333
- Here you go, here you go.
- I think something is wrong.
943
01:15:45,417 --> 01:15:47,627
- Come on, Ben. Do something.
- Okay, okay. All right, all right.
944
01:15:47,711 --> 01:15:49,755
Something doesn't feel right.
945
01:17:40,490 --> 01:17:42,701
- Okay, okay.
- Ready, ready, ready?
946
01:17:59,050 --> 01:18:01,094
My little baby.
947
01:18:08,476 --> 01:18:10,103
He's here.
948
01:18:29,164 --> 01:18:30,415
Hi.
949
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:34,085
Mmm.
950
01:18:36,463 --> 01:18:37,589
Thank you, Ben.
951
01:18:52,854 --> 01:18:54,606
It's a boy. Take a Slim.
952
01:18:54,689 --> 01:18:57,525
If you haven't had one,
it's the biggest mistake of your life.
953
01:19:23,551 --> 01:19:24,844
Did you steal this, Cash?
954
01:19:26,346 --> 01:19:28,974
Please don't call me that.
955
01:19:33,979 --> 01:19:36,189
Well, how... How did he seem?
956
01:19:36,898 --> 01:19:40,277
I mean, he seemed okay.
957
01:19:40,360 --> 01:19:42,779
I think he means well.
958
01:19:49,119 --> 01:19:51,955
She's... She's coming over. Uh...
Look... Look busy.
959
01:19:52,038 --> 01:19:54,291
What? Why?
Why do you need to look busy?
960
01:19:54,374 --> 01:19:56,793
Because of... I don't know. Shh.
961
01:19:58,169 --> 01:20:00,630
- Hey.
- Hey.
962
01:20:01,214 --> 01:20:02,299
How is he?
963
01:20:03,633 --> 01:20:08,013
He's a heaping mess,
but... he's my heaping mess.
964
01:20:09,264 --> 01:20:11,474
So, are you gonna go back
to Olympia with him?
965
01:20:11,558 --> 01:20:15,478
No. I'm going to Denver. I just have to.
966
01:20:15,562 --> 01:20:16,479
But...
967
01:20:17,689 --> 01:20:19,107
Um...
968
01:20:19,816 --> 01:20:21,651
I think he's gonna take me
the rest of the way.
969
01:20:26,573 --> 01:20:29,951
Uh, right now? Are you going...
Are you going right now?
970
01:20:32,162 --> 01:20:33,288
Yeah.
971
01:20:36,124 --> 01:20:38,376
Cool. Um... Cool.
972
01:20:38,877 --> 01:20:42,172
Okay. That's cool. I mean, yeah...
973
01:20:42,255 --> 01:20:45,091
I'm sure it'll be fine and stuff and...
974
01:20:45,967 --> 01:20:48,303
You know what? I'm just...
975
01:20:48,386 --> 01:20:50,930
I'm gonna go talk to Cash for a second.
976
01:21:04,319 --> 01:21:07,781
You have my number.
You're gonna text me, right?
977
01:21:10,492 --> 01:21:11,910
Definitely.
978
01:21:15,372 --> 01:21:17,165
You know what you are?
979
01:21:24,005 --> 01:21:26,007
Handsome and cool.
980
01:21:28,093 --> 01:21:29,803
Don't make fun of me.
981
01:21:31,971 --> 01:21:33,348
I'm not.
982
01:21:57,997 --> 01:21:59,624
What's wrong with him?
983
01:22:00,834 --> 01:22:02,377
Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.
984
01:22:04,254 --> 01:22:06,756
He'll be lucky if he makes it to 30.
985
01:22:08,466 --> 01:22:09,634
Is it rare?
986
01:22:11,678 --> 01:22:14,973
It affects one out of every 3,500 males.
987
01:22:15,348 --> 01:22:16,224
Man...
988
01:22:18,810 --> 01:22:21,479
Life's a real class-A bitch, isn't it?
989
01:22:25,316 --> 01:22:26,985
Not always.
990
01:22:35,243 --> 01:22:38,121
Well, thanks for the coffee, Mervin.
991
01:22:38,204 --> 01:22:42,333
Well, take care of yourself in Denver.
There are a lot of perverts there.
992
01:22:42,417 --> 01:22:44,711
Yeah? And how would you know?
993
01:22:45,587 --> 01:22:47,255
We all keep in touch.
994
01:24:38,283 --> 01:24:40,034
- Come on.
- What the heck are we doing?
995
01:24:40,118 --> 01:24:43,580
Would you just do me a favor and
shut the fuck up for once in your life?
996
01:24:43,663 --> 01:24:45,915
We literally... What is that? What...
What are you doing?
997
01:24:45,999 --> 01:24:47,959
We're doing something. Come on.
998
01:25:08,521 --> 01:25:09,814
You ready?
999
01:25:14,193 --> 01:25:17,655
Get ready for the most spectacular
standing-piss in human history.
1000
01:25:17,739 --> 01:25:20,241
- It's not gonna work. I promise you.
- Oh, it's gonna work.
1001
01:25:20,325 --> 01:25:23,703
All you gotta do is aim and fire.
1002
01:25:23,786 --> 01:25:25,121
I don't know.
1003
01:25:28,916 --> 01:25:29,917
Whoa.
1004
01:25:30,001 --> 01:25:32,754
It's going.
Hang on, I got it, I got it, I got it.
1005
01:25:32,837 --> 01:25:35,006
Yeah!
1006
01:25:35,089 --> 01:25:37,383
Yes!
1007
01:25:42,513 --> 01:25:46,184
Take a look!
I'm peeing standing up! Whoo!
1008
01:26:28,434 --> 01:26:29,727
Hello.
1009
01:26:58,881 --> 01:27:01,843
Trevor Conklin was handsome
and cool.
1010
01:27:05,888 --> 01:27:08,891
Soon after our trip,
I resigned as his caregiver,
1011
01:27:08,975 --> 01:27:11,436
but continued on as his friend.
1012
01:27:12,812 --> 01:27:15,356
Two weeks ago,
when I went to visit Trevor
1013
01:27:15,440 --> 01:27:19,861
on his 21st birthday, I found him
lying on the floor of his bedroom,
1014
01:27:19,944 --> 01:27:21,946
finally at peace.
1015
01:27:28,161 --> 01:27:33,583
The new caregiver, a kind woman
in her 60s named Anna, was sobbing.
1016
01:27:34,208 --> 01:27:36,544
She, like me,
1017
01:27:36,627 --> 01:27:39,046
knew just how special he was.
1018
01:27:51,601 --> 01:27:53,603
He was faking, of course.
1019
01:27:55,438 --> 01:27:57,398
Anna quit the next day.
80795
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