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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,553 --> 00:00:03,586 I'd like to see 2 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:04,886 The defendant in my chambers... 3 00:00:04,886 --> 00:00:06,053 privately. 4 00:00:06,053 --> 00:00:07,786 Yes, your honour. 5 00:00:07,786 --> 00:00:10,120 This is proving to be a difficult case. 6 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,454 The jury is hung, 7 00:00:11,454 --> 00:00:14,188 And for the record, your judge is also hung. 8 00:00:15,854 --> 00:00:18,454 There seems to be a big hole in your defence, 9 00:00:18,454 --> 00:00:21,887 And i'd personally like to probe into it a little deeper. 10 00:00:21,887 --> 00:00:23,021 Is that clear? 11 00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:24,320 Yes, sir. 12 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,887 Will the defendant please rise. 13 00:00:25,887 --> 00:00:27,055 Yes, sir. 14 00:00:27,055 --> 00:00:29,588 Oh yeah, that's it... 15 00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,189 with all due respect, your honour, 16 00:00:31,189 --> 00:00:34,321 $100,000 bail feels unduly harsh. 17 00:00:34,321 --> 00:00:36,588 The records clearly show that mr. Schmidt 18 00:00:36,588 --> 00:00:39,022 Has always been a law-Abiding, 19 00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:40,288 Tax-Paying citizen 20 00:00:40,288 --> 00:00:42,355 Trying to operate a legitimate business. 21 00:00:42,355 --> 00:00:45,355 If you call an unsavoury, homosexual pornographic website 22 00:00:45,355 --> 00:00:47,756 A legitimate business. 23 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,556 As if that troll's never been to a porn site. 24 00:00:50,556 --> 00:00:52,989 Your honour, mr. Schmidt was extremely diligent 25 00:00:52,989 --> 00:00:55,222 In keeping his business strictly up to code. 26 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,090 He had no idea that his employee, 27 00:00:57,090 --> 00:01:00,523 Edward stewart malone, was a minor. 28 00:01:00,523 --> 00:01:02,091 While it is this court's obligation 29 00:01:02,091 --> 00:01:05,223 To uphold mr. Schmidt's right to operate his business of choice, 30 00:01:05,223 --> 00:01:08,890 However unsavoury, mr. Rollins. 31 00:01:08,890 --> 00:01:10,590 This court will not tolerate ignorance 32 00:01:10,590 --> 00:01:12,590 When it comes to the corruption of a minor. 33 00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:14,092 It will ensure that mr. Schmidt 34 00:01:14,092 --> 00:01:17,491 Is punished to the full extent of the law. 35 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:21,891 Next case. 36 00:01:21,891 --> 00:01:24,858 The state of pennsylvania versus joaquim. 37 00:01:27,725 --> 00:01:29,193 I was brilliant! 38 00:01:29,193 --> 00:01:30,892 I knew you would be. 39 00:01:30,892 --> 00:01:32,592 The audience was sceptical at first. 40 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,193 Of course, i don't blame them. 41 00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:36,059 That all changed once you began to play. 42 00:01:36,059 --> 00:01:38,193 I kicked ass on the cadenza, 43 00:01:38,193 --> 00:01:41,225 The andante was perhaps a tad too con moto, 44 00:01:41,225 --> 00:01:42,826 But by the final allegro... 45 00:01:42,826 --> 00:01:45,593 the audience was transfixed, transported. 46 00:01:45,593 --> 00:01:48,460 They even gave me... a standing ovation. 47 00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:50,760 And this huge bouquet of... white roses. 48 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,927 Black coffee please. Coming up. 49 00:01:52,927 --> 00:01:53,860 I was there. 50 00:01:55,827 --> 00:01:57,693 You... were there? 51 00:01:57,693 --> 00:02:00,095 I couldn't miss your debut, so i borrowed daphne's car. 52 00:02:00,095 --> 00:02:01,861 There you go. 53 00:02:01,861 --> 00:02:03,728 You drove all the way to harrisburg? 54 00:02:03,728 --> 00:02:04,761 Why didn't you tell me? 55 00:02:04,761 --> 00:02:06,394 I thought you'd be pissed. 56 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:07,894 Besides, your agent was all over you, 57 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,627 So i just watched. 58 00:02:09,627 --> 00:02:10,928 What did you see? 59 00:02:10,928 --> 00:02:13,928 You, talking to your worshipful admirers. 60 00:02:13,928 --> 00:02:15,161 Well, you should've rescued me. 61 00:02:15,161 --> 00:02:16,595 Hey, you didn't seem to mind, 62 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,862 Especially that cute guy. 63 00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:19,795 What cute guy? 64 00:02:21,162 --> 00:02:22,595 The one you left with. 65 00:02:24,261 --> 00:02:26,762 Oh, him? He was a music student. 66 00:02:26,762 --> 00:02:29,662 He wanted to pick my brains, that's all. 67 00:02:29,662 --> 00:02:32,329 That's all? Yeah, we talked about grad schools. 68 00:02:32,329 --> 00:02:33,730 I don't even think he was gay. 69 00:02:35,296 --> 00:02:36,596 From where i was standing, 70 00:02:36,596 --> 00:02:39,163 It looked like he knew how to blow more than a trumpet. 71 00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:41,329 Sounds like you're jealous. 72 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,097 I'm not jealous. 73 00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,763 Then why would you even think i was interested? 74 00:02:46,362 --> 00:02:48,198 Well, i remember another young admirer 75 00:02:48,198 --> 00:02:49,731 Who came up to you afterwards, 76 00:02:49,731 --> 00:02:52,198 To tell you how amazing you were. 77 00:02:52,198 --> 00:02:56,464 Look, fans are going to want to meet me. 78 00:02:56,464 --> 00:02:59,897 Women, guys, they're going to want to talk, to flirt. 79 00:02:59,897 --> 00:03:02,098 They're going to think i'm sexy... 80 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,865 i noticed. 81 00:03:03,865 --> 00:03:05,998 But that's just part of the deal. 82 00:03:05,998 --> 00:03:08,732 We knew this was going to happen. 83 00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:12,065 Now, whatever the bullshit, 84 00:03:12,065 --> 00:03:14,865 You're the only one i love, 85 00:03:14,865 --> 00:03:16,631 The only one i play for. 86 00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:22,866 Sorry, baby, i gotta pee! 87 00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:29,532 The diner called, i have to go in early 88 00:03:29,532 --> 00:03:31,066 And take over for betty. 89 00:03:31,066 --> 00:03:32,866 Here i just got off the late shift. 90 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,667 Jesus christ. 91 00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:39,900 Vic, it... it's ted, 92 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:41,266 He's on the front page! 93 00:03:44,734 --> 00:03:46,667 Holy shit, they've arrested him. 94 00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:50,735 Vic? 95 00:03:50,735 --> 00:03:52,068 Vic! What's wrong with you? 96 00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:53,534 You got water in your ears? 97 00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:56,434 Who the fuck are you? 98 00:03:57,568 --> 00:03:59,135 Um, morning, sis. 99 00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:02,701 I see you've met rodney. 100 00:04:06,435 --> 00:04:09,036 This porn bust got me a lot of attention. 101 00:04:09,036 --> 00:04:10,869 And a nice bump in the polls. 102 00:04:10,869 --> 00:04:13,535 That should give you some fodder for your next spot. 103 00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:16,036 Tell me, brian, you got any kids? 104 00:04:16,036 --> 00:04:18,402 Yeah,a son. 105 00:04:18,402 --> 00:04:20,703 Then i'm sure you share every parent's concern 106 00:04:20,703 --> 00:04:22,770 That he might come across some porn site 107 00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:25,303 Like this scumbag, schmidt, was running. 108 00:04:25,303 --> 00:04:28,003 He's only two. 109 00:04:28,003 --> 00:04:30,536 The point is, jim made a promise to the voters 110 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,636 To make this city family friendly. 111 00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:34,503 He intends to keep it. 112 00:04:34,503 --> 00:04:36,237 You'll soon discover the chief's a man of his word. 113 00:04:36,237 --> 00:04:37,738 I'm finding that out. 114 00:04:37,738 --> 00:04:39,004 Just look at this street. 115 00:04:39,004 --> 00:04:40,637 Back rooms, bathhouses... 116 00:04:40,637 --> 00:04:42,237 it's a veritable breeding ground 117 00:04:42,237 --> 00:04:45,004 For every form of sexually transmitted disease. 118 00:04:45,004 --> 00:04:46,205 But with your help... 119 00:04:47,671 --> 00:04:50,205 we're going to clean it up. 120 00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:52,139 And in the process, win the election. 121 00:04:55,638 --> 00:04:57,872 By the way, you play racquetball? 122 00:04:57,872 --> 00:04:59,472 Yeah, i love racquetball. 123 00:05:00,939 --> 00:05:02,106 Good. 124 00:05:02,106 --> 00:05:03,271 Meet me at the athletic club, 125 00:05:03,271 --> 00:05:04,438 Tomorrow night, abou. 8:00. 126 00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,106 I'll whip your ass. 127 00:05:28,507 --> 00:05:30,041 Oh... shit, shit shit, shit! Oh god. 128 00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:31,041 Oh, did you come? 129 00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,640 No-No-No-No, thank god. 130 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,640 Oh... what? 131 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,574 The condom broke. 132 00:05:38,474 --> 00:05:39,408 Look, no. 133 00:05:42,441 --> 00:05:43,942 No, don't. 134 00:05:43,942 --> 00:05:44,875 Keep going. 135 00:05:47,175 --> 00:05:48,341 What? 136 00:05:48,341 --> 00:05:50,209 I said, keep going. I don't care. 137 00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:51,608 But, mike... michael, you could get... 138 00:05:51,608 --> 00:05:53,675 i don't care. 139 00:05:53,675 --> 00:05:54,676 Fuck me! 140 00:05:54,676 --> 00:05:57,976 Oh... god! 141 00:05:57,976 --> 00:06:00,843 Michael! Oh, michael. Mike... 142 00:06:00,843 --> 00:06:02,909 Michael... michael? 143 00:06:04,275 --> 00:06:05,943 Huh! You look just like you did 144 00:06:05,943 --> 00:06:07,176 When you were 12 years old, 145 00:06:07,176 --> 00:06:09,110 Daydreaming about you and captain astro 146 00:06:09,110 --> 00:06:12,044 Flying off to some incredible new adventure... 147 00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:13,744 or to fuck. 148 00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:16,310 So where's ben? I haven't seen him for days. 149 00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,577 He's just got a heavy workload at school, that's all. 150 00:06:18,577 --> 00:06:19,577 Mm-Hmm. 151 00:06:21,077 --> 00:06:23,643 Well, if it isn't casanova! 152 00:06:23,643 --> 00:06:25,276 Your uncle has a boyfriend, 153 00:06:25,276 --> 00:06:26,945 And well hung too, 154 00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:28,711 At least from where i was sitting. 155 00:06:28,711 --> 00:06:30,478 We've only gone out a few times. 156 00:06:30,478 --> 00:06:32,045 They had a sleepover last night. 157 00:06:32,045 --> 00:06:33,711 That's great, uncle vic. 158 00:06:33,711 --> 00:06:35,277 Try miraculous. 159 00:06:35,277 --> 00:06:37,678 I thought i was destined to spend the rest of my life 160 00:06:37,678 --> 00:06:39,112 Dating my right hand. 161 00:06:39,112 --> 00:06:41,412 So when do i get to meet him with his clothes on? 162 00:06:41,412 --> 00:06:44,046 I've invited him for dinner tomorrow night. Woo! 163 00:06:44,046 --> 00:06:45,645 Thought i'd make a turducken. 164 00:06:45,645 --> 00:06:46,712 A what? 165 00:06:46,712 --> 00:06:48,179 Turducken. 166 00:06:48,179 --> 00:06:50,812 You take a chicken, you stuff it up a duck, 167 00:06:50,812 --> 00:06:52,445 Then stuff that up a turkey. 168 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,912 Kind of like a threeway, but with poultry. 169 00:06:54,912 --> 00:06:56,213 You and ben have to come too. 170 00:06:56,213 --> 00:06:58,880 Do we have to have the entire family there? 171 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,346 Well, what good's a family if we can't make you squirm? 172 00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:03,580 Hey, deb, your order's up. 173 00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:05,413 Would you lay off that fuckin' bell? 174 00:07:05,413 --> 00:07:06,780 This isn't a prize fight. 175 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:09,214 Excuse me. 176 00:07:13,547 --> 00:07:16,081 Thank god my mother'll never see this. 177 00:07:16,081 --> 00:07:17,280 Did she die? 178 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,881 No, she never reads a newspaper. 179 00:07:23,881 --> 00:07:25,181 Hello? 180 00:07:25,181 --> 00:07:26,280 May i ask who's calling? 181 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,849 One moment. 182 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:31,116 It's your mother. 183 00:07:34,882 --> 00:07:35,849 Hi, mom. 184 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,248 Oh, not bad, and you? 185 00:07:40,815 --> 00:07:41,749 Oh, you did? 186 00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,616 Yeah, i know, it's not a very good picture. 187 00:07:45,616 --> 00:07:46,783 No, look... look, it's ju... 188 00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:47,850 just a misunderstanding, mom. 189 00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:48,783 It'll all work out. 190 00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:51,616 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 191 00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:53,449 I-I-I'll call you later... 192 00:07:53,449 --> 00:07:55,416 and don't forget to take your blood pressure pills. 193 00:07:57,416 --> 00:07:58,683 She's going to need 'em. 194 00:07:59,751 --> 00:08:01,884 "Gay porn king"? 195 00:08:01,884 --> 00:08:03,884 I have one lousy little website... 196 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:04,951 and who do they single out? 197 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,051 Me. God. 198 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,884 After i was so careful to check 199 00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:11,051 And double-Check for every possible infraction... 200 00:08:12,584 --> 00:08:13,517 except for one. 201 00:08:15,018 --> 00:08:16,685 Eddie. 202 00:08:16,685 --> 00:08:18,152 There he was, the whole time, 203 00:08:18,152 --> 00:08:21,318 Right by my side, with his phoney i.D. 204 00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:23,052 It's a plot worthy of puccini. 205 00:08:23,052 --> 00:08:24,618 Teddy, please, 206 00:08:24,618 --> 00:08:26,685 If you're not careful, you'll need your mother's medication. 207 00:08:26,685 --> 00:08:29,152 Huh, i know what's going to happen. 208 00:08:29,152 --> 00:08:32,252 I'm going to wind up one of those eccentric convicts you read about. 209 00:08:32,252 --> 00:08:34,220 They're going to open my cell door 40 years from now 210 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,753 And all the walls are going to be covered with equations and logarithms... 211 00:08:36,753 --> 00:08:39,086 in teeny, tiny scrawl. 212 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,419 We're going to do our best 213 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:41,953 To make sure that doesn't happen. 214 00:08:41,953 --> 00:08:44,586 But it won't be easy. 215 00:08:44,586 --> 00:08:46,453 Stockwell is out for blood. 216 00:08:46,453 --> 00:08:48,187 He wants to make you an example 217 00:08:48,187 --> 00:08:50,653 In his campaign against porn, drugs and sex. 218 00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:53,253 Everything we hold dear. 219 00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:57,187 There must be someone you know who could pull a few strings, 220 00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:59,087 Put in a kind word on my behalf. 221 00:08:59,087 --> 00:09:01,020 Uh, there's someone we all know. 222 00:09:02,488 --> 00:09:03,421 Brian. 223 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,354 I'm a dead man. 224 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:15,888 You hate it. 225 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,123 I don't... i don't hate it. 226 00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:20,856 It's just, well, i didn't picture him looking quite so... 227 00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:24,489 so what? Evil. 228 00:09:24,489 --> 00:09:26,255 Well, you said the secret potion 229 00:09:26,255 --> 00:09:28,388 He's taking to make himself invincible has warped his mind. 230 00:09:28,388 --> 00:09:31,889 Yeah, but underneath, he's still a hero, 231 00:09:31,889 --> 00:09:33,656 A good guy, and he will be again, 232 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,723 Once zephyr blows some sense into his head. 233 00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:39,923 Hey, guys. 234 00:09:39,923 --> 00:09:40,857 Hi. Hey, ben. 235 00:09:42,224 --> 00:09:44,256 What are you two up to? 236 00:09:44,256 --> 00:09:46,090 Working on the second issue. 237 00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,890 Yeah, we're trying to come up with this villain... 238 00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:49,290 it's not a villain. 239 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:50,324 A fallen hero. 240 00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:51,257 His name is juice pig. 241 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:53,557 Oh? 242 00:09:53,557 --> 00:09:55,324 He's sort of a jekyll and hyde character. 243 00:09:55,324 --> 00:09:57,491 You know, sometimes he's charming and kind, 244 00:09:57,491 --> 00:09:59,424 And other times... 245 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:00,424 he's a monster. 246 00:10:01,591 --> 00:10:02,924 Wonder where you got that idea. 247 00:10:04,592 --> 00:10:07,492 So, uh, deb tells me that ethan was a big hit. 248 00:10:07,492 --> 00:10:09,458 Yup, he got rave reviews... 249 00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:10,859 and a booking with the buffalo symphony. 250 00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:12,992 That is great. 251 00:10:16,759 --> 00:10:17,959 I'll give these another shot. 252 00:10:19,492 --> 00:10:20,459 Thanks. 253 00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:24,926 See ya. 254 00:10:24,926 --> 00:10:26,893 See you, justin. I'll get the door. 255 00:10:27,993 --> 00:10:28,926 Bye. 256 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,593 So how was the gym? 257 00:10:31,593 --> 00:10:34,693 Oh, did, uh, 315 on the bench press. 258 00:10:34,693 --> 00:10:36,228 You could use a protein shake after that. 259 00:10:36,228 --> 00:10:37,961 Um, i'll make it. 260 00:10:39,894 --> 00:10:42,260 Um... by the way, 261 00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:44,861 Vic invited us to dinner tomorrow, 262 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:47,293 To meet his new boyfriend. 263 00:10:47,293 --> 00:10:49,460 Roy and i are working legs tomorrow night. 264 00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:51,728 Well, couldn't you work legs earlier? 265 00:10:51,728 --> 00:10:53,695 I teach earlier, michael. 266 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,728 Plus i got to make some calls for paul's memorial service. 267 00:10:56,728 --> 00:10:58,028 I could help you. 268 00:10:58,028 --> 00:11:00,229 Hey, no offence, but it's not your world. 269 00:11:09,295 --> 00:11:10,562 Negative. 270 00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:11,496 Again. 271 00:11:12,929 --> 00:11:14,696 Oh, honey, don't take it personally. 272 00:11:14,696 --> 00:11:16,963 Most women don't get pregnant their first try. 273 00:11:16,963 --> 00:11:18,562 Mm, i'm not most women. 274 00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:22,063 I'm used to hitting a grand slam, 275 00:11:22,063 --> 00:11:23,330 First time out of the box. 276 00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:25,197 You may have to adjust your thinking. 277 00:11:25,197 --> 00:11:27,530 The doctor told you it usually takes about ten months. 278 00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,131 What do we do until then? 279 00:11:29,131 --> 00:11:32,330 We could pick out names. In the jewish faith, 280 00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:35,530 You're supposed to name your first-Born after your grandfather. 281 00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,530 What was your grandfather's name? Hyman. 282 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,965 Oh, no! 283 00:11:41,531 --> 00:11:43,232 Shh, you'll wake up gus. 284 00:11:43,232 --> 00:11:44,431 What's the other one? 285 00:11:44,431 --> 00:11:45,431 Herman. 286 00:11:45,431 --> 00:11:47,397 Oh, i'm praying for a girl. 287 00:12:05,999 --> 00:12:07,332 Linz? Hmm? 288 00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:11,533 Do you suppose it's out there? 289 00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:12,466 What? 290 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,666 Our kid. 291 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,733 Waiting for us to will it into existence. 292 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,800 I never thought about it like that. 293 00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,001 Who knows? 294 00:12:30,601 --> 00:12:31,534 Maybe. 295 00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,300 Come on, kid. 296 00:12:41,602 --> 00:12:42,668 Get here. 297 00:12:57,536 --> 00:12:58,536 Well, at last. 298 00:12:58,536 --> 00:13:00,302 My own personal stalker. 299 00:13:00,302 --> 00:13:04,137 Hey, this is a... this is a beauty, bri. 300 00:13:04,137 --> 00:13:05,569 First chance i've had to see it, 301 00:13:05,569 --> 00:13:07,669 You know, but then again, i... i've been busy, 302 00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:10,336 What with the new house and work and... 303 00:13:10,336 --> 00:13:11,636 being arrested and going to jail. 304 00:13:11,636 --> 00:13:14,071 Yeah, i saw the papers. 305 00:13:14,071 --> 00:13:15,670 That's an awful picture. 306 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,437 I'd sue. 307 00:13:17,437 --> 00:13:19,037 Yeah, well maybe when i'm in the big house 308 00:13:19,037 --> 00:13:20,704 I'll study law. I'll do it myself. Oh. 309 00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:23,303 Listen, bri... 310 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,671 look, your friend stockwell, he... 311 00:13:27,671 --> 00:13:29,471 he wants the powers that be to throw the book at me. 312 00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:30,671 You think maybe you could put in a word? 313 00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:31,805 Which word would you like? 314 00:13:31,805 --> 00:13:33,172 "Don't." 315 00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:34,872 Sorry, theodore, no can do. 316 00:13:35,938 --> 00:13:36,872 Please. 317 00:13:38,139 --> 00:13:39,571 I'm begging you. 318 00:13:39,571 --> 00:13:41,338 Look, i do his television spots. 319 00:13:41,338 --> 00:13:43,105 I'm not the fucking d.A. I know, 320 00:13:43,105 --> 00:13:45,073 But you've got his ear. He might listen to you. 321 00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:46,305 Well, you know as well as i do 322 00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:48,372 That would be overstepping the bounds. 323 00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:50,572 Since when do you ever give a shit about overstepping the bounds? 324 00:13:50,572 --> 00:13:52,339 You were always the first to cross them. 325 00:13:52,339 --> 00:13:53,506 It's business. 326 00:13:56,839 --> 00:13:57,773 Business. 327 00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:00,707 Right, of course. 328 00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:01,640 I understand. 329 00:14:03,107 --> 00:14:04,440 You go off to your meeting. 330 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,907 Don't spend another second 331 00:14:05,907 --> 00:14:07,507 Worrying about a little pisher like me. 332 00:14:08,373 --> 00:14:09,306 Here. 333 00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:11,707 There you go. 334 00:14:11,707 --> 00:14:13,340 Drive safely now. 335 00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,508 Motherfucker. 336 00:14:21,242 --> 00:14:22,175 Try this. 337 00:14:25,108 --> 00:14:27,341 Smells like some guys i've gone down on. 338 00:14:27,341 --> 00:14:29,541 That is the grossest, most disgusting thing 339 00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:32,009 I've ever heard. Ew. Thanks. 340 00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:34,243 I want something to go with a burgundy or a merlot. 341 00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:36,642 Oh, planning a party? For two. 342 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:39,176 Celebrate ethan's triumphant return... 343 00:14:39,176 --> 00:14:41,742 hail, caesar. 344 00:14:41,742 --> 00:14:43,209 And to supplicate myself at his feet 345 00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:45,710 For thinking he was fucking around on me. 346 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,743 I guess that's what comes from living with brian. 347 00:14:47,743 --> 00:14:50,276 Okay, correction. Brian didn't fuck around on you. 348 00:14:50,276 --> 00:14:51,510 You know, he was always honest, 349 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:53,510 Right from the start. 350 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,309 This might be nice with a rich, full-Bodied... 351 00:14:57,309 --> 00:14:59,343 eggplant. 352 00:14:59,343 --> 00:15:01,310 I mean, is this not a thing of beauty? 353 00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:02,310 Touch it. 354 00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,344 Stroke it. Insert it? 355 00:15:06,011 --> 00:15:09,310 I can't help it if everything's taken on a sexual connotation 356 00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:11,377 Ever since i met rodney. 357 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:12,677 I can't wait to meet him. 358 00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:14,410 I'm just... i'm sorry ben won't be there. 359 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,811 I'm sure he has more important things. 360 00:15:16,811 --> 00:15:18,246 Going to the gym. 361 00:15:18,246 --> 00:15:20,879 He needs to spend more time at the gym like... 362 00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,311 i need asparagus. 363 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,712 Excuse me? 364 00:15:25,712 --> 00:15:27,645 For the salad. 365 00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:29,645 A medley of arugula, endive, 366 00:15:29,645 --> 00:15:32,478 Grilled asparagus and smoked... 367 00:15:32,478 --> 00:15:33,646 llama. 368 00:15:33,646 --> 00:15:34,880 Well, that's what it says. 369 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,279 It's made out of llama's milk. 370 00:15:38,046 --> 00:15:39,546 I can't believe it. 371 00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:42,180 I mean, that i was actually jealous. 372 00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,846 I guess it just proves how much i love him... 373 00:15:44,846 --> 00:15:47,279 and i don't just mean sex either. 374 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,647 It's more romantic. It's like... 375 00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:52,680 Brahms or... mahler. 376 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,347 Uh-Huh. I know. 377 00:15:54,347 --> 00:15:55,614 I sound like a great big... 378 00:15:55,614 --> 00:15:57,347 cheeseball! Cheeseball. 379 00:15:58,747 --> 00:16:00,614 Here, catch. 380 00:16:00,614 --> 00:16:03,014 Uncle vic, did you hear me? 381 00:16:03,014 --> 00:16:05,082 Believe it or not, i can pick out produce 382 00:16:05,082 --> 00:16:07,481 And listen at the same time. 383 00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:08,882 "He's angry, he's cruel." 384 00:16:08,882 --> 00:16:10,414 He's not the same ben. 385 00:16:10,414 --> 00:16:12,414 It's 'roid rage, michael. I know, 386 00:16:12,414 --> 00:16:13,815 And i have to put up with it. 387 00:16:13,815 --> 00:16:15,149 I'm just tired of feeling 388 00:16:15,149 --> 00:16:16,615 Like i couldn't possibly understand 389 00:16:16,615 --> 00:16:18,548 What he's going through 'cause i'm not positive. 390 00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:20,649 Sounds like you're a bit rageful yourself. 391 00:16:32,582 --> 00:16:33,849 I said no interruptions. 392 00:16:33,849 --> 00:16:35,350 There's somebody here to see you. 393 00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:36,283 Says it's urgent. 394 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,316 Mrs. Ted schmidt? 395 00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:52,851 You might have called first. 396 00:16:54,451 --> 00:16:57,417 If i had, you would've been in a meeting, right? 397 00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:05,718 So, this is the inner sanctum of the great god kinney... 398 00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:09,819 where men's fates are decided. 399 00:17:09,819 --> 00:17:11,652 What? Did theodore send you down here 400 00:17:11,652 --> 00:17:13,585 To throw yourself on my mercy? 401 00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:15,519 He doesn't know i'm here... 402 00:17:15,519 --> 00:17:18,385 and i have no intention of throwing myself on your mercy... 403 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,418 or anything else for that matter. 404 00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:22,353 What a relief! 405 00:17:22,353 --> 00:17:24,087 I can come out from behind the desk. 406 00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:33,353 You realize, of course, 407 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,319 There's a very good chance he'll go to jail. 408 00:17:35,319 --> 00:17:37,220 Well, tell him to look on the bright side. 409 00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:38,854 At least he'll get fucked regularly. 410 00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:43,788 I suppose that's meant to be witty. 411 00:17:43,788 --> 00:17:47,221 We all know about your charming sense of humour... 412 00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:50,821 but we also know 413 00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:53,655 That deep down, you care about us, 414 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,588 Even though you'd never admit it. 415 00:17:55,588 --> 00:17:57,588 Which is why i've come... i already told ted 416 00:17:57,588 --> 00:17:59,622 There's nothing... i know what you told him. 417 00:18:01,388 --> 00:18:03,722 I also know what you think about teddy and me, 418 00:18:03,722 --> 00:18:05,055 That we're just a... 419 00:18:05,055 --> 00:18:07,122 couple of silly queens setting up house, 420 00:18:07,122 --> 00:18:08,421 That it'll never work. 421 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,689 Well, there was a time 422 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:13,023 When i would've thought exactly the same thing. 423 00:18:14,356 --> 00:18:16,456 But miracle of miracles, 424 00:18:16,456 --> 00:18:18,656 I have never been happier in my entire life 425 00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:20,090 And you want to know why? 426 00:18:21,257 --> 00:18:23,523 Because he gives me love... 427 00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:25,891 and respect. 428 00:18:27,224 --> 00:18:30,490 And now it is my turn to give him something back. 429 00:18:33,624 --> 00:18:35,390 Now i swore to myself this wasn't going to wind up 430 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:36,757 An old lana turner movie, 431 00:18:36,757 --> 00:18:39,290 But it looks like that's the direction it's headed, 432 00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:41,958 So i'm going to make lana proud. 433 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,058 Please, brian... 434 00:18:48,691 --> 00:18:49,925 i am begging you. 435 00:18:52,525 --> 00:18:53,892 Help him. 436 00:19:00,993 --> 00:19:02,993 Vic cooks, i cook, 437 00:19:02,993 --> 00:19:04,859 All the grassis are cooks. 438 00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:06,793 Nonny, uh, that was our grandmother, 439 00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:09,093 Nonny made cannoli that was... 440 00:19:09,093 --> 00:19:10,626 lighter than air. 441 00:19:10,626 --> 00:19:12,426 Before she died, she asked me what i wanted, 442 00:19:12,426 --> 00:19:13,827 I said her recipe. 443 00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:15,127 She wouldn't give it to me. 444 00:19:15,127 --> 00:19:17,060 She took it with her right to her grave. 445 00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:19,627 Which is why we're having poached pears... 446 00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,261 with almond cream. 447 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,760 Ooh. Ah! 448 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,194 And her gnocchi, 449 00:19:24,194 --> 00:19:25,693 Well, if you've ever tried to make it, 450 00:19:25,693 --> 00:19:27,861 You know it can come out like bullets. Ma. 451 00:19:27,861 --> 00:19:29,795 Ma, would you let rodney talk? 452 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:32,028 Who's stopping him? 453 00:19:32,028 --> 00:19:34,128 You sort of have to dive in around here. 454 00:19:34,128 --> 00:19:36,461 You were telling us how you and vic met. 455 00:19:36,461 --> 00:19:37,661 A poz men's group. 456 00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:39,961 Mm-Mmm. 457 00:19:41,461 --> 00:19:43,196 At a poz men's group. 458 00:19:43,196 --> 00:19:45,229 We saw each other across a crowded room. 459 00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:46,529 I didn't even want to go, 460 00:19:46,529 --> 00:19:48,295 But some friends of mine convinced me 461 00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:50,163 That i should meet some positive men. 462 00:19:50,163 --> 00:19:51,829 Why's that? 463 00:19:51,829 --> 00:19:53,529 I'd been dating negative men for a while 464 00:19:53,529 --> 00:19:55,096 And it never seemed to work out. 465 00:19:55,096 --> 00:19:56,395 No matter how hard we tried, 466 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:57,762 They could never really understand 467 00:19:57,762 --> 00:20:01,264 What it was like living with this thing... 468 00:20:01,264 --> 00:20:04,130 and with vic, there's no need to explain. 469 00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:06,663 We already know what each other's going through. 470 00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,264 Instead of separating us, it brought us closer together. 471 00:20:12,797 --> 00:20:14,864 Of course, not everyone who's positive 472 00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:16,764 Feels that way. 473 00:20:16,764 --> 00:20:18,265 You mind if i ask, are you... 474 00:20:18,265 --> 00:20:19,265 no, he isn't, 475 00:20:19,265 --> 00:20:20,764 But his boyfriend is. 476 00:20:22,031 --> 00:20:23,597 Oh, i'm sorry. 477 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,064 I never meant to say that you... it's... it's okay. 478 00:20:26,064 --> 00:20:27,931 I'm... i'm sure there're a lot of things 479 00:20:27,931 --> 00:20:28,898 I'll never understand... 480 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:34,065 but it's not for a lack of trying. 481 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,167 Woo! 482 00:21:00,566 --> 00:21:03,168 Whoo... don't you know you're supposed to let the boss win? 483 00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:04,467 Why would i do that? 484 00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:12,534 Some people might say it's smart. 485 00:21:12,534 --> 00:21:14,001 Yeah, well, some people are stupid. 486 00:21:17,334 --> 00:21:18,968 Why would you trust me if i let you win? 487 00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:22,768 Score another point. 488 00:21:24,202 --> 00:21:25,368 Besides, i don't like to lose. 489 00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:27,501 That makes two of us. 490 00:21:27,501 --> 00:21:29,068 You want to check out the steam room? 491 00:21:31,701 --> 00:21:32,636 Love to. 492 00:21:38,836 --> 00:21:41,502 I asked the d.A. To fast-Track the schmidt trial 493 00:21:41,502 --> 00:21:42,736 In time for the election. 494 00:21:45,502 --> 00:21:47,703 I was also thinking... 495 00:21:47,703 --> 00:21:50,303 we should do a tv spot with a bunch of school kids, 496 00:21:50,303 --> 00:21:52,271 On the dangers of porn. 497 00:21:52,271 --> 00:21:54,070 Yeah, the ad's a good idea. 498 00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:55,904 Keep the familyguy image alive... 499 00:21:57,537 --> 00:21:59,503 but... 500 00:21:59,503 --> 00:22:01,637 there's not much i could do with this trial. 501 00:22:01,637 --> 00:22:02,770 It's all over the news. 502 00:22:02,770 --> 00:22:04,704 Yesterday's news. 503 00:22:04,704 --> 00:22:07,272 That's why i want you to keep it alive. 504 00:22:07,272 --> 00:22:10,005 You know, it's like selling last year's model that... 505 00:22:10,005 --> 00:22:11,838 everyone's already seen it. 506 00:22:11,838 --> 00:22:14,871 Besides, it's not like you arrested o.J. 507 00:22:14,871 --> 00:22:17,205 That guy's a bug. 508 00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,238 He's a schmuck. 509 00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:21,872 He didn't even kill anybody. 510 00:22:21,872 --> 00:22:23,639 But if we could get a conviction... 511 00:22:23,639 --> 00:22:25,106 ah, that would be the worst thing, 512 00:22:25,106 --> 00:22:27,472 And your opponent will accuse you of going after some small-Fry 513 00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:28,772 To get the free publicity, 514 00:22:28,772 --> 00:22:30,872 The press'll turn him into a martyr. 515 00:22:30,872 --> 00:22:32,338 It's like my dear father used to say, 516 00:22:32,338 --> 00:22:33,472 If you're going to pick on someone, 517 00:22:33,472 --> 00:22:35,007 Pick on someone your own size. 518 00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:38,740 So where do we go next? 519 00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:40,606 Well, i'd suggest the showers. 520 00:22:46,140 --> 00:22:47,140 You coming? 521 00:22:48,740 --> 00:22:50,007 Yeah, in a minute. 522 00:22:52,074 --> 00:22:54,307 To the new york phil. 523 00:22:54,307 --> 00:22:56,108 And the london phil, 524 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:57,541 And the vienna phil, 525 00:22:57,541 --> 00:22:59,974 And the berlin phil and the... 526 00:22:59,974 --> 00:23:01,908 quick, name another phil. 527 00:23:01,908 --> 00:23:02,941 Phil farnsworth? 528 00:23:02,941 --> 00:23:04,741 We were in the seventh grade together. 529 00:23:04,741 --> 00:23:06,809 To phil farnsworth, wherever he may be. 530 00:23:09,575 --> 00:23:11,508 Mmm... mmm. 531 00:23:15,675 --> 00:23:18,675 I love your mouth. Ah? 532 00:23:18,675 --> 00:23:20,142 You do? Mm-Hmm. 533 00:23:21,843 --> 00:23:24,376 Yeah, you have the most perfect lips. 534 00:23:25,277 --> 00:23:26,210 Swallowing. 535 00:23:28,676 --> 00:23:31,010 Of course, i love the rest of you too, 536 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,943 But when i was in that hotel room the other night, 537 00:23:33,943 --> 00:23:36,409 Alone, jerking off... 538 00:23:36,409 --> 00:23:38,544 you were touching yourself? You didn't call me? 539 00:23:38,544 --> 00:23:42,011 I was imagining you... 540 00:23:42,011 --> 00:23:44,577 kissing me all over. 541 00:23:46,077 --> 00:23:48,044 Sweet... 542 00:23:48,044 --> 00:23:49,777 tendah kisses... 543 00:23:51,044 --> 00:23:53,444 and then... 544 00:23:53,444 --> 00:23:57,078 I went down on your hot, hard cock... oh-H. 545 00:23:57,078 --> 00:23:58,511 Like this. 546 00:23:59,878 --> 00:24:01,112 Ah! 547 00:24:02,311 --> 00:24:05,778 Oh, who the fuck is that, the girl scouts? 548 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:06,878 I'll tell them to fuck off. 549 00:24:11,445 --> 00:24:13,512 Hi, uh, is ethan... 550 00:24:13,512 --> 00:24:14,479 here? 551 00:24:25,513 --> 00:24:26,980 What're you doing here? 552 00:24:26,980 --> 00:24:29,313 I wanted to see you again, so i... 553 00:24:29,313 --> 00:24:30,247 so i drove in. 554 00:24:33,181 --> 00:24:35,413 Well, you shouldn't have. I think you better go now. 555 00:24:35,413 --> 00:24:37,114 No, wait. 556 00:24:37,114 --> 00:24:38,914 He came all the way from harrisburg. 557 00:24:40,215 --> 00:24:41,981 It's a long drive. 558 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:43,248 Believe me, i know. 559 00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:45,481 Oh yeah? You his roommate or... 560 00:24:47,215 --> 00:24:48,447 i'm his muse. 561 00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:11,117 What're you sitting in the dark for? 562 00:25:11,117 --> 00:25:13,184 Waiting for you. 563 00:25:13,184 --> 00:25:14,983 Told you, i was working out. 564 00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:17,583 Legs, i know. 565 00:25:20,284 --> 00:25:21,383 Oh, so, uh... 566 00:25:22,716 --> 00:25:24,383 what's vic's new boyfriend like? 567 00:25:26,383 --> 00:25:28,651 They're so alike, it's uncanny. 568 00:25:28,651 --> 00:25:31,684 Mmm, what same interests, same temperament? 569 00:25:31,684 --> 00:25:32,617 Same disease. 570 00:25:35,717 --> 00:25:36,651 They're both positive. 571 00:25:40,084 --> 00:25:41,018 Oh. 572 00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:46,418 Where'd you get that? 573 00:25:48,785 --> 00:25:51,585 I found it... wrapped up in the garbage. 574 00:25:51,585 --> 00:25:53,318 Michael... michael, i've... i've used it. 575 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:55,085 Just p-Put it down. 576 00:25:56,652 --> 00:25:59,452 You know, seeing vic and his new boyfriend, 577 00:25:59,452 --> 00:26:01,287 That really made me think, you know? 578 00:26:03,053 --> 00:26:05,153 Maybe you're right. Maybe you should be with a poz guy. 579 00:26:05,153 --> 00:26:06,820 No... no, no. 580 00:26:08,519 --> 00:26:10,553 I was upset when i... i said that. 581 00:26:10,553 --> 00:26:12,586 I... i didn't mean that... 582 00:26:12,586 --> 00:26:14,453 maybe that poz guy should be me. 583 00:26:14,453 --> 00:26:15,687 Michael, please! 584 00:26:15,687 --> 00:26:16,620 Please what? 585 00:26:20,554 --> 00:26:23,054 All it would take is a quick jab in a vein and... 586 00:26:23,054 --> 00:26:24,987 be over in a flash. 587 00:26:24,987 --> 00:26:25,987 I'd hardly feel a thing 588 00:26:25,987 --> 00:26:27,854 And then i'd be just like you. 589 00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:30,155 I don't want you to be like me. 590 00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:31,755 You said you want someone 591 00:26:31,755 --> 00:26:33,354 Who knows what you're going through... 592 00:26:34,855 --> 00:26:36,088 who wakes up every morning 593 00:26:36,088 --> 00:26:38,321 And suddenly remembers, "hey, that's right, 594 00:26:38,321 --> 00:26:39,521 I've got this thing." 595 00:26:40,922 --> 00:26:44,889 Who thinks every time he gets a cold or the flu, 596 00:26:44,889 --> 00:26:47,355 "This is it, this is the end." 597 00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:48,923 Who's filled with the resentment and anger 598 00:26:48,923 --> 00:26:50,689 'Cause he could never have kids, 599 00:26:50,689 --> 00:26:52,089 And who has to shoot himself up 600 00:26:52,089 --> 00:26:55,089 With steroids because his lover died, 601 00:26:55,089 --> 00:26:57,023 And he's scared shitless he's next, 602 00:26:57,023 --> 00:26:58,522 And who has to drive away 603 00:26:58,522 --> 00:26:59,522 The person he loves, 604 00:26:59,522 --> 00:27:00,890 And who loves him... 605 00:27:02,356 --> 00:27:04,523 because he doesn't understand. 606 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:07,356 Well, now i will. 607 00:27:07,356 --> 00:27:08,356 No, please, please, don't... 608 00:27:08,356 --> 00:27:10,757 for god's sake, stop! 609 00:27:10,757 --> 00:27:12,723 No, you stop. 610 00:27:12,723 --> 00:27:14,291 Stop using this shit. 611 00:27:16,225 --> 00:27:18,058 Stop hurting yourself... 612 00:27:18,058 --> 00:27:19,691 stop hurting us. 613 00:27:29,091 --> 00:27:30,225 "I want to be with someone 614 00:27:30,225 --> 00:27:31,625 Who only wants to be with me. 615 00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:34,259 Someone i can be with forever." 616 00:27:34,259 --> 00:27:35,458 A crock of shit. 617 00:27:35,458 --> 00:27:37,126 I meant it. 618 00:27:37,126 --> 00:27:38,926 Yeah, i'm sure you did the second you were saying it. 619 00:27:38,926 --> 00:27:40,392 Christ, look what you're doing to your hands. 620 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:42,026 Oh, so fucking what? 621 00:27:42,026 --> 00:27:43,226 You're a liar! 622 00:27:45,193 --> 00:27:46,625 I didn't want to hurt you. 623 00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,560 That is so laughably, 624 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,359 So pathetically lame 625 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,893 I am not even going to comment on it! 626 00:27:52,893 --> 00:27:54,060 Try something else. 627 00:27:56,227 --> 00:27:57,359 I was... 628 00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:58,993 i was covering my ass. 629 00:27:58,993 --> 00:28:00,960 That's better. 630 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:01,893 Go on. 631 00:28:03,861 --> 00:28:06,327 I was alone, you weren't there. 632 00:28:06,327 --> 00:28:08,928 Now it's my fault. That's not what i mean. 633 00:28:08,928 --> 00:28:10,061 I missed you. 634 00:28:11,427 --> 00:28:12,961 So you... since you couldn't bear 635 00:28:12,961 --> 00:28:14,928 To be without me for one fucking night, 636 00:28:14,928 --> 00:28:18,795 You decide to pick up some... drooling admirer? 637 00:28:18,795 --> 00:28:19,728 Basically, yes. 638 00:28:21,196 --> 00:28:24,095 So tell me, mr. Gold, 639 00:28:24,095 --> 00:28:25,461 As a last minute replacement, 640 00:28:25,461 --> 00:28:26,395 How'd he do? 641 00:28:27,196 --> 00:28:28,695 Did he kneel at your feet 642 00:28:28,695 --> 00:28:30,662 And worship your huge talent? 643 00:28:30,662 --> 00:28:32,829 Did he marvel at your magnificent fingering? 644 00:28:32,829 --> 00:28:35,263 Did the way you stroke your bow leave him breathless? 645 00:28:35,263 --> 00:28:37,963 It was one stupid mistake! 646 00:28:37,963 --> 00:28:40,263 Look how many times you forgave brian. 647 00:28:40,263 --> 00:28:43,063 I never forgave brian! 648 00:28:46,230 --> 00:28:47,362 I never had to... 649 00:28:49,030 --> 00:28:51,097 because he never promised me anything. 650 00:28:53,064 --> 00:28:53,997 You did. 651 00:28:59,530 --> 00:29:01,298 I need you. 652 00:29:01,298 --> 00:29:02,597 I don't know what i'm going to do without you. 653 00:29:02,597 --> 00:29:04,463 I'm sure you'll survive. 654 00:29:04,463 --> 00:29:05,965 After all, you still have your music. 655 00:29:07,698 --> 00:29:09,199 It's the only thing you ever really loved. 656 00:29:22,899 --> 00:29:24,833 Uh, even if worse comes to worse 657 00:29:24,833 --> 00:29:27,365 And you have to go to jail, 658 00:29:27,365 --> 00:29:28,699 It won't be so bad. 659 00:29:30,266 --> 00:29:31,465 How do you figure that? 660 00:29:33,166 --> 00:29:35,899 You'll have time to read and work out. 661 00:29:36,967 --> 00:29:39,034 It'll be like a spa vacation. 662 00:29:39,034 --> 00:29:40,767 Oh yeah, i hear the prison guards 663 00:29:40,767 --> 00:29:42,366 Do a great herbal body wrap, 664 00:29:42,366 --> 00:29:44,500 And the chefs prepare a fabulous light cuisine. 665 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:45,733 I'll come to visit 666 00:29:45,733 --> 00:29:49,366 And we'll make mad, passionate love. 667 00:29:49,366 --> 00:29:52,134 I doubt the state pen allows gay conjugal visits. 668 00:29:52,134 --> 00:29:53,901 They did in this film i saw. 669 00:29:53,901 --> 00:29:55,035 Which one was that? 670 00:29:55,035 --> 00:29:56,668 "Jeff stryker does hard time". 671 00:29:59,968 --> 00:30:01,935 Look, em, 672 00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,768 I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, 673 00:30:03,768 --> 00:30:05,668 But life, 674 00:30:05,668 --> 00:30:07,768 At least as i know it... 675 00:30:07,768 --> 00:30:09,136 is over. 676 00:30:10,402 --> 00:30:12,335 Oh my god, it's the police. 677 00:30:12,335 --> 00:30:13,669 They've come to get me. 678 00:30:13,669 --> 00:30:15,069 They've come to get me. No, no. It's... 679 00:30:15,069 --> 00:30:16,002 no... 680 00:30:21,203 --> 00:30:22,902 Hey. He's... hey. 681 00:30:22,902 --> 00:30:23,870 Oh, teddy! 682 00:30:24,937 --> 00:30:26,336 Hurry up, get dressed. We're late. 683 00:30:26,336 --> 00:30:28,003 For what? Wh-Where're we going? 684 00:30:28,003 --> 00:30:29,103 The d.A.'S office. 685 00:30:29,103 --> 00:30:30,636 They're willing to accept a plea bargain. 686 00:30:30,636 --> 00:30:32,270 You plead guilty to the charges, 687 00:30:32,270 --> 00:30:34,570 And they won't seek a prison sentence. 688 00:30:34,570 --> 00:30:36,436 Oh my god! 689 00:30:36,436 --> 00:30:37,903 Oh my god, that's wonderful! 690 00:30:37,903 --> 00:30:39,171 Isn't that wonderful, teddy? 691 00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:40,437 I c... i c... i can't believe it. 692 00:30:40,437 --> 00:30:42,071 How... how did you convince them? 693 00:30:42,071 --> 00:30:44,071 I didn't. I guess you must have friends in high places. 694 00:30:47,138 --> 00:30:48,737 You... you don't suppose brian... 695 00:30:49,804 --> 00:30:51,238 naw, that's impossible. 696 00:30:51,238 --> 00:30:52,938 Oh, i wouldn't be so sure. 697 00:30:52,938 --> 00:30:55,605 You know how forceful your powers of persuasion can be. 698 00:30:55,605 --> 00:30:57,172 Uh, don't rejoice yet. 699 00:30:57,172 --> 00:30:59,306 They're going to slap you with a motherfucker of a fine. 700 00:30:59,306 --> 00:31:01,272 You're also going to have to shut down the website. 701 00:31:01,272 --> 00:31:02,939 Forever? 702 00:31:02,939 --> 00:31:05,272 You do anything even remotely connected to porn again, 703 00:31:05,272 --> 00:31:07,139 Even buying a fucking naked greeting card, 704 00:31:07,139 --> 00:31:09,272 The d.A.'Ll slam you to the wall and screw you standing. 705 00:31:10,673 --> 00:31:11,940 Now put your pants on. 706 00:31:24,439 --> 00:31:27,141 Didn't mean to wake you. 707 00:31:27,141 --> 00:31:29,274 I was already up. 708 00:31:29,274 --> 00:31:30,540 I didn't get much sleep. 709 00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:31,874 Yeah, me either. 710 00:31:33,674 --> 00:31:35,473 So who told you to sleep on the sofa? 711 00:31:35,473 --> 00:31:37,208 Well, after what you said, i... 712 00:31:39,407 --> 00:31:40,407 i meant it. 713 00:31:42,341 --> 00:31:45,175 Look, baby, i'm going to have a hard enough day, 714 00:31:45,175 --> 00:31:46,675 Going to paul's memorial, 715 00:31:46,675 --> 00:31:48,675 Seeing all those guys with their sunken cheeks. 716 00:31:50,508 --> 00:31:52,075 At least they're still alive, 717 00:31:52,075 --> 00:31:53,008 And so are you. 718 00:32:09,276 --> 00:32:11,243 I've decided to stop using the steroids. 719 00:32:13,643 --> 00:32:14,577 Good for you. 720 00:32:16,277 --> 00:32:18,677 They are counterproductive to my healing. 721 00:32:18,677 --> 00:32:21,343 Why don't you just say they've turned you into a raving shit? 722 00:32:21,343 --> 00:32:23,343 All right, they have turned me into a raving shit. 723 00:32:26,743 --> 00:32:27,910 I'm sorry. 724 00:32:29,178 --> 00:32:30,111 Thanks. 725 00:32:31,312 --> 00:32:32,945 You're apologizing for the wrong thing. 726 00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:35,811 Well, what then? 727 00:32:37,212 --> 00:32:38,578 You're the brainy professor. 728 00:32:38,578 --> 00:32:39,511 You figure it out. 729 00:32:42,744 --> 00:32:44,078 Okay, i'm sorry for saying 730 00:32:44,078 --> 00:32:45,679 That i should find someone who's positive. 731 00:32:45,679 --> 00:32:47,079 That was the drugs talking. 732 00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:49,378 No, it was you. 733 00:32:49,378 --> 00:32:50,512 Don't make excuses. 734 00:32:50,512 --> 00:32:52,478 If that's what you want, then do it. 735 00:32:52,478 --> 00:32:53,679 It's not what i want. 736 00:32:53,679 --> 00:32:54,712 I want you. 737 00:32:54,712 --> 00:32:56,146 A. 9:00 o'clock on tuesday morning? 738 00:32:56,146 --> 00:32:57,146 What about 10:00? 739 00:32:57,146 --> 00:32:59,345 I will feel the same at 10:00, 740 00:32:59,345 --> 00:33:01,413 And 11:00, and 12:00. 741 00:33:03,379 --> 00:33:04,746 You're really going to stop? 742 00:33:04,746 --> 00:33:06,247 I already have. 743 00:33:08,214 --> 00:33:10,479 Now, why don't you get dressed 744 00:33:10,479 --> 00:33:11,613 And come with me? 745 00:33:13,980 --> 00:33:15,914 It's not my world. I don't belong there. 746 00:33:21,614 --> 00:33:22,681 You belong with me. 747 00:33:31,182 --> 00:33:32,949 Someone didn't sleep at home. 748 00:33:34,182 --> 00:33:35,915 What are you, a detective? 749 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:40,515 No, it's just the same stunning ensemble you wore yesterday. 750 00:33:40,515 --> 00:33:42,548 I spent the night at daphne's, 751 00:33:42,548 --> 00:33:44,182 If it's any of your fucking business. 752 00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:49,317 Do i detect a discordant note in love's tender refrain? 753 00:34:00,816 --> 00:34:02,884 Hey, deb, can i get some coffee? 754 00:34:02,884 --> 00:34:04,151 Coming right up, honey. 755 00:34:12,483 --> 00:34:14,084 I've been, uh... 756 00:34:14,084 --> 00:34:16,350 thinking of a way to say this 757 00:34:16,350 --> 00:34:18,651 Without sounding maudlin and hence incurring your wrath, 758 00:34:18,651 --> 00:34:21,451 So i've decided to delete any references to loyalty, 759 00:34:21,451 --> 00:34:24,018 Friendship, responsibility, and being one's brother's keeper 760 00:34:24,018 --> 00:34:25,451 And go with a simple... 761 00:34:27,319 --> 00:34:28,785 "thank you." 762 00:34:28,785 --> 00:34:30,152 Who said i was buying you lunch? 763 00:34:31,952 --> 00:34:33,819 I'm talking about saving my life. 764 00:34:33,819 --> 00:34:35,586 Oh. That. 765 00:34:37,686 --> 00:34:38,619 That was nothing. 766 00:34:40,053 --> 00:34:41,819 Which is exactly what mel says i'll be worth 767 00:34:41,819 --> 00:34:43,186 By the time they get done with me. 768 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,253 But... better "hard up" than "hard time". 769 00:34:48,619 --> 00:34:49,620 Here you go, teddy. 770 00:34:49,620 --> 00:34:51,553 Thanks, deb. 771 00:34:51,553 --> 00:34:53,753 Well, good news. 772 00:34:53,753 --> 00:34:56,020 I won't be going to jail. 773 00:34:56,020 --> 00:34:57,553 Thanks to a friend. 774 00:34:57,553 --> 00:35:00,453 Oh, that's wonderful. Oh... 775 00:35:00,453 --> 00:35:02,353 honey, i'm so relieved. 776 00:35:02,353 --> 00:35:04,087 Oh, god, that's on the house! 777 00:35:09,155 --> 00:35:10,554 Just don't flatter yourself. 778 00:35:10,554 --> 00:35:12,855 I didn't do it for you. 779 00:35:12,855 --> 00:35:14,421 I did it to protect my client. 780 00:35:16,588 --> 00:35:17,621 Of course. 781 00:35:19,188 --> 00:35:20,522 How could i have been so presumptuous? 782 00:35:25,022 --> 00:35:25,956 Whoo. 783 00:35:30,856 --> 00:35:33,689 I'll never figure out why he does that. 784 00:35:33,689 --> 00:35:35,755 You mean act like a total shit? 785 00:35:35,755 --> 00:35:38,123 When it's obvious he just saved teddy's ass. 786 00:35:41,324 --> 00:35:43,057 One special, one pink plate. 787 00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:47,823 You're not supposed to test every time you tinkle. 788 00:35:47,823 --> 00:35:48,990 Says who? 789 00:35:48,990 --> 00:35:50,990 You have to let mother nature take her course 790 00:35:50,990 --> 00:35:52,824 In her own sweet time. 791 00:35:52,824 --> 00:35:53,891 Oh... 792 00:35:53,891 --> 00:35:55,958 It's easy for her. She's already a mother. 793 00:35:58,091 --> 00:35:59,390 All right. 794 00:35:59,390 --> 00:36:01,524 I'll let you have your fun with chemistry 795 00:36:01,524 --> 00:36:03,824 And go make dinner. Sloppy joes okay? 796 00:36:05,824 --> 00:36:06,757 Mel? 797 00:36:08,592 --> 00:36:10,592 Don't worry about putting the buns in the oven. 798 00:36:10,592 --> 00:36:11,525 What? 799 00:36:17,658 --> 00:36:19,491 Oh my... god. 800 00:36:23,093 --> 00:36:24,093 It's... 801 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,327 it's blue. 802 00:36:27,327 --> 00:36:28,526 You're damn right, it's blue. 803 00:36:29,626 --> 00:36:30,659 Well, this means you're... 804 00:36:30,659 --> 00:36:31,593 you got it. 805 00:36:33,093 --> 00:36:35,426 A-Are you sure this is accurate? Oh, better be, 806 00:36:35,426 --> 00:36:37,860 Or else i'm going to sue the panties off that company. 807 00:36:37,860 --> 00:36:40,161 This is unbelievable. 808 00:36:40,161 --> 00:36:42,228 First time out of the box. 809 00:36:42,228 --> 00:36:43,594 Told you. 810 00:36:43,594 --> 00:36:46,161 Don't fuck with mother nature, huh? 811 00:36:46,161 --> 00:36:47,493 Well, i'm here to tell her, 812 00:36:47,493 --> 00:36:49,027 "Don't fuck with me." 813 00:37:25,463 --> 00:37:27,630 What do you want to do with all these? 814 00:37:27,630 --> 00:37:29,064 Hmm? 815 00:37:29,064 --> 00:37:30,563 Oh, uh... 816 00:37:30,563 --> 00:37:32,930 Thought i'd donate them to charity. Hmm. 817 00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:36,331 You can get a write-Off. 818 00:37:36,331 --> 00:37:38,264 Yeah, somehow, i don't think i'll be needing that now. 819 00:37:41,131 --> 00:37:42,731 Oh my god! 820 00:37:43,865 --> 00:37:44,798 Look! 821 00:37:46,131 --> 00:37:50,198 It's my revolving bed, from when i was a big star. 822 00:37:50,198 --> 00:37:51,664 You still are. 823 00:37:51,664 --> 00:37:54,831 It's the dicks that got small. 824 00:37:54,831 --> 00:37:57,066 I never let anyone else use it. 825 00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:59,899 It retired when you did. 826 00:37:59,899 --> 00:38:01,765 God, it brings back so many memories. Mmm. 827 00:38:02,832 --> 00:38:05,032 The g.I. Joe jerk, 828 00:38:05,032 --> 00:38:06,665 Construction worker whack. 829 00:38:06,665 --> 00:38:08,799 God bless the village people. 830 00:38:08,799 --> 00:38:10,465 True visionaries. 831 00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:13,700 So you, uh... mmm. 832 00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:15,533 Care to take her for a little spin? 833 00:38:18,334 --> 00:38:20,633 Uh... no, i... 834 00:38:20,633 --> 00:38:22,433 Can't. I got... too much to do. 835 00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:24,200 Uh... please, teddy? 836 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,566 Come on, one last time. 837 00:38:28,601 --> 00:38:31,101 All right, boys. Start 'er up! 838 00:38:31,101 --> 00:38:32,500 Here we go. 839 00:38:38,201 --> 00:38:41,467 Remember, you gave me my porn name. Huh. 840 00:38:41,467 --> 00:38:43,168 "Fetch dixon". 841 00:38:43,168 --> 00:38:45,401 Name of your favourite pet and the street you grew up on. 842 00:38:48,401 --> 00:38:51,135 You know, you never told me yours. 843 00:38:57,768 --> 00:39:00,270 "Millicent kensington". 844 00:39:10,903 --> 00:39:13,603 Oh, it's all right, baby. 845 00:39:13,603 --> 00:39:15,604 You cry. 846 00:39:15,604 --> 00:39:17,104 You cry all you want. 847 00:39:19,704 --> 00:39:22,871 You know what i'm most upset about? 848 00:39:22,871 --> 00:39:24,004 No more "rim-A-Rama"? 849 00:39:26,004 --> 00:39:28,537 That we had to give up the house. 850 00:39:28,537 --> 00:39:31,605 I really wanted you to have that. 851 00:39:31,605 --> 00:39:33,072 Honey, your saying that... 852 00:39:33,072 --> 00:39:35,838 means more to me than living in it. 853 00:39:35,838 --> 00:39:37,239 Yeah, not quite. 854 00:39:39,005 --> 00:39:40,905 Listen. 855 00:39:40,905 --> 00:39:42,738 Where i come from, 856 00:39:42,738 --> 00:39:45,471 We had tornadoes all the time. 857 00:39:45,471 --> 00:39:48,405 They'd blow the roof off, destroy everything. 858 00:39:50,273 --> 00:39:55,273 We always looked at it as a chance to rebuild, 859 00:39:55,273 --> 00:39:56,706 You know, make things better. 860 00:39:58,139 --> 00:40:00,006 So the business is gone. 861 00:40:00,006 --> 00:40:01,974 So the house is gone. 862 00:40:01,974 --> 00:40:03,540 So every cent you ever made is... 863 00:40:03,540 --> 00:40:05,040 Yeah, yeah, i got it. I got it. 864 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,341 The point is, it doesn't matter. 865 00:40:12,207 --> 00:40:13,506 We still have each other... 866 00:40:14,907 --> 00:40:19,308 and together, we are going to be just fine. 867 00:41:00,610 --> 00:41:03,409 That's a montecristoespecial smuggled from cuba, 868 00:41:03,409 --> 00:41:05,044 So stick it in your mouth and suck. 869 00:41:07,944 --> 00:41:09,711 If that's any indication of your technique, 870 00:41:09,711 --> 00:41:11,577 It's amazing you have a boyfriend. 871 00:41:11,577 --> 00:41:13,577 I'm still in shock. 872 00:41:13,577 --> 00:41:16,211 We made a baby after just one try. 873 00:41:16,211 --> 00:41:18,078 It's fucking depressing, all right. 874 00:41:18,078 --> 00:41:21,445 Your sperm actually liked melanie's eggs. Ugh. 875 00:41:21,445 --> 00:41:23,545 Well, i guess there's no accounting for some people's tastes. 876 00:41:28,312 --> 00:41:29,346 Easy, mikey. 877 00:41:32,145 --> 00:41:34,279 I don't think i can do it. What? 878 00:41:34,279 --> 00:41:36,379 Be responsible for another life. 879 00:41:36,379 --> 00:41:37,446 Did i ask you to? 880 00:41:37,446 --> 00:41:39,247 Not you, asshole. The kid. 881 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:40,412 Job's done. 882 00:41:40,412 --> 00:41:42,046 From here on out, the lezzie's do all the work. 883 00:41:42,046 --> 00:41:44,113 All you have to do is show up for birthday parties 884 00:41:44,113 --> 00:41:46,412 And the occasional walk in the park. 885 00:41:46,412 --> 00:41:49,080 I don't intend to be a drop-In dad like you. 886 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:50,080 I want to be involved, 887 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:51,513 A real father... 888 00:41:51,513 --> 00:41:52,947 if i can just figure out how. 889 00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:56,181 You're going to be a great dad. 890 00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:57,281 What makes you so sure? 891 00:41:57,281 --> 00:41:58,947 You raised me, didn't you? 892 00:41:58,947 --> 00:42:00,081 Look how i turned out. 61057

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