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I'd like to see
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The defendant in my chambers...
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privately.
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Yes, your honour.
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This is proving to be a difficult case.
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The jury is hung,
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And for the record, your judge is also hung.
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There seems to be a big hole in your defence,
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And i'd personally like to probe into it a little deeper.
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Is that clear?
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Yes, sir.
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Will the defendant please rise.
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Yes, sir.
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Oh yeah, that's it...
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with all due respect, your honour,
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$100,000 bail feels unduly harsh.
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The records clearly show that mr. Schmidt
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Has always been a law-Abiding,
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Tax-Paying citizen
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Trying to operate a legitimate business.
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If you call an unsavoury, homosexual pornographic website
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A legitimate business.
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As if that troll's never been to a porn site.
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Your honour, mr. Schmidt was extremely diligent
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In keeping his business strictly up to code.
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He had no idea that his employee,
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Edward stewart malone, was a minor.
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While it is this court's obligation
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To uphold mr. Schmidt's right to operate his business of choice,
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However unsavoury, mr. Rollins.
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This court will not tolerate ignorance
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When it comes to the corruption of a minor.
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It will ensure that mr. Schmidt
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Is punished to the full extent of the law.
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Next case.
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The state of pennsylvania versus joaquim.
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I was brilliant!
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I knew you would be.
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The audience was sceptical at first.
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Of course, i don't blame them.
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That all changed once you began to play.
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I kicked ass on the cadenza,
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The andante was perhaps a tad too con moto,
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But by the final allegro...
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the audience was transfixed, transported.
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They even gave me... a standing ovation.
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And this huge bouquet of... white roses.
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Black coffee please. Coming up.
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I was there.
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You... were there?
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I couldn't miss your debut, so i borrowed daphne's car.
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There you go.
53
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You drove all the way to harrisburg?
54
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Why didn't you tell me?
55
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I thought you'd be pissed.
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Besides, your agent was all over you,
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So i just watched.
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What did you see?
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You, talking to your worshipful admirers.
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Well, you should've rescued me.
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Hey, you didn't seem to mind,
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Especially that cute guy.
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What cute guy?
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The one you left with.
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Oh, him? He was a music student.
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He wanted to pick my brains, that's all.
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That's all? Yeah, we talked about grad schools.
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I don't even think he was gay.
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From where i was standing,
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It looked like he knew how to blow more than a trumpet.
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Sounds like you're jealous.
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I'm not jealous.
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Then why would you even think i was interested?
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Well, i remember another young admirer
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Who came up to you afterwards,
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To tell you how amazing you were.
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Look, fans are going to want to meet me.
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Women, guys, they're going to want to talk, to flirt.
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They're going to think i'm sexy...
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i noticed.
81
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But that's just part of the deal.
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We knew this was going to happen.
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Now, whatever the bullshit,
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You're the only one i love,
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The only one i play for.
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Sorry, baby, i gotta pee!
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The diner called, i have to go in early
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And take over for betty.
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Here i just got off the late shift.
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Jesus christ.
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Vic, it... it's ted,
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He's on the front page!
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Holy shit, they've arrested him.
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Vic?
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Vic! What's wrong with you?
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You got water in your ears?
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Who the fuck are you?
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Um, morning, sis.
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I see you've met rodney.
100
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This porn bust got me a lot of attention.
101
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And a nice bump in the polls.
102
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That should give you some fodder for your next spot.
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Tell me, brian, you got any kids?
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Yeah,a son.
105
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Then i'm sure you share every parent's concern
106
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That he might come across some porn site
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Like this scumbag, schmidt, was running.
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He's only two.
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The point is, jim made a promise to the voters
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To make this city family friendly.
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He intends to keep it.
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You'll soon discover the chief's a man of his word.
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I'm finding that out.
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Just look at this street.
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Back rooms, bathhouses...
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it's a veritable breeding ground
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For every form of sexually transmitted disease.
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But with your help...
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we're going to clean it up.
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And in the process, win the election.
121
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By the way, you play racquetball?
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Yeah, i love racquetball.
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Good.
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Meet me at the athletic club,
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Tomorrow night, abou.
8:00.
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I'll whip your ass.
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Oh... shit, shit shit, shit! Oh god.
128
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Oh, did you come?
129
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No-No-No-No, thank god.
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Oh... what?
131
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The condom broke.
132
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Look, no.
133
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No, don't.
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Keep going.
135
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What?
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I said, keep going. I don't care.
137
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But, mike... michael, you could get...
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i don't care.
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Fuck me!
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Oh... god!
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Michael! Oh, michael. Mike...
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Michael... michael?
143
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Huh! You look just like you did
144
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When you were 12 years old,
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Daydreaming about you and captain astro
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Flying off to some incredible new adventure...
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or to fuck.
148
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So where's ben? I haven't seen him for days.
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He's just got a heavy workload at school, that's all.
150
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Mm-Hmm.
151
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Well, if it isn't casanova!
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Your uncle has a boyfriend,
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And well hung too,
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At least from where i was sitting.
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We've only gone out a few times.
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They had a sleepover last night.
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That's great, uncle vic.
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Try miraculous.
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I thought i was destined to spend the rest of my life
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Dating my right hand.
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So when do i get to meet him with his clothes on?
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I've invited him for dinner tomorrow night. Woo!
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Thought i'd make a turducken.
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A what?
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Turducken.
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You take a chicken, you stuff it up a duck,
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Then stuff that up a turkey.
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Kind of like a threeway, but with poultry.
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You and ben have to come too.
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Do we have to have the entire family there?
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Well, what good's a family if we can't make you squirm?
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Hey, deb, your order's up.
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Would you lay off that fuckin' bell?
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This isn't a prize fight.
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Excuse me.
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Thank god my mother'll never see this.
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Did she die?
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No, she never reads a newspaper.
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Hello?
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May i ask who's calling?
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One moment.
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It's your mother.
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Hi, mom.
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Oh, not bad, and you?
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Oh, you did?
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Yeah, i know, it's not a very good picture.
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No, look... look, it's ju...
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just a misunderstanding, mom.
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It'll all work out.
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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I-I-I'll call you later...
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and don't forget to take your blood pressure pills.
193
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She's going to need 'em.
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"Gay porn king"?
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I have one lousy little website...
196
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and who do they single out?
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Me. God.
198
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After i was so careful to check
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And double-Check for every possible infraction...
200
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except for one.
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Eddie.
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There he was, the whole time,
203
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Right by my side, with his phoney i.D.
204
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It's a plot worthy of puccini.
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Teddy, please,
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If you're not careful, you'll need your mother's medication.
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Huh, i know what's going to happen.
208
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I'm going to wind up one of those eccentric convicts you read about.
209
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They're going to open my cell door 40 years from now
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And all the walls are going to be covered with equations and logarithms...
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in teeny, tiny scrawl.
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We're going to do our best
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To make sure that doesn't happen.
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But it won't be easy.
215
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Stockwell is out for blood.
216
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He wants to make you an example
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In his campaign against porn, drugs and sex.
218
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Everything we hold dear.
219
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:57,187
There must be someone you know who could pull a few strings,
220
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Put in a kind word on my behalf.
221
00:08:59,087 --> 00:09:01,020
Uh, there's someone we all know.
222
00:09:02,488 --> 00:09:03,421
Brian.
223
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,354
I'm a dead man.
224
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You hate it.
225
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,123
I don't... i don't hate it.
226
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:20,856
It's just, well, i didn't picture him looking quite so...
227
00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:24,489
so what? Evil.
228
00:09:24,489 --> 00:09:26,255
Well, you said the secret potion
229
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He's taking to make himself invincible has warped his mind.
230
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Yeah, but underneath, he's still a hero,
231
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A good guy, and he will be again,
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Once zephyr blows some sense into his head.
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Hey, guys.
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Hi. Hey, ben.
235
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What are you two up to?
236
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Working on the second issue.
237
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,890
Yeah, we're trying to come up with this villain...
238
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it's not a villain.
239
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A fallen hero.
240
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His name is juice pig.
241
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Oh?
242
00:09:53,557 --> 00:09:55,324
He's sort of a jekyll and hyde character.
243
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You know, sometimes he's charming and kind,
244
00:09:57,491 --> 00:09:59,424
And other times...
245
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:00,424
he's a monster.
246
00:10:01,591 --> 00:10:02,924
Wonder where you got that idea.
247
00:10:04,592 --> 00:10:07,492
So, uh, deb tells me that ethan was a big hit.
248
00:10:07,492 --> 00:10:09,458
Yup, he got rave reviews...
249
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:10,859
and a booking with the buffalo symphony.
250
00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:12,992
That is great.
251
00:10:16,759 --> 00:10:17,959
I'll give these another shot.
252
00:10:19,492 --> 00:10:20,459
Thanks.
253
00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:24,926
See ya.
254
00:10:24,926 --> 00:10:26,893
See you, justin. I'll get the door.
255
00:10:27,993 --> 00:10:28,926
Bye.
256
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,593
So how was the gym?
257
00:10:31,593 --> 00:10:34,693
Oh, did, uh, 315 on the bench press.
258
00:10:34,693 --> 00:10:36,228
You could use a protein shake after that.
259
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Um, i'll make it.
260
00:10:39,894 --> 00:10:42,260
Um... by the way,
261
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Vic invited us to dinner tomorrow,
262
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To meet his new boyfriend.
263
00:10:47,293 --> 00:10:49,460
Roy and i are working legs tomorrow night.
264
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:51,728
Well, couldn't you work legs earlier?
265
00:10:51,728 --> 00:10:53,695
I teach earlier, michael.
266
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Plus i got to make some calls for paul's memorial service.
267
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I could help you.
268
00:10:58,028 --> 00:11:00,229
Hey, no offence, but it's not your world.
269
00:11:09,295 --> 00:11:10,562
Negative.
270
00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:11,496
Again.
271
00:11:12,929 --> 00:11:14,696
Oh, honey, don't take it personally.
272
00:11:14,696 --> 00:11:16,963
Most women don't get pregnant their first try.
273
00:11:16,963 --> 00:11:18,562
Mm, i'm not most women.
274
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:22,063
I'm used to hitting a grand slam,
275
00:11:22,063 --> 00:11:23,330
First time out of the box.
276
00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:25,197
You may have to adjust your thinking.
277
00:11:25,197 --> 00:11:27,530
The doctor told you it usually takes about ten months.
278
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,131
What do we do until then?
279
00:11:29,131 --> 00:11:32,330
We could pick out names. In the jewish faith,
280
00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:35,530
You're supposed to name your first-Born after your grandfather.
281
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,530
What was your grandfather's name? Hyman.
282
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,965
Oh, no!
283
00:11:41,531 --> 00:11:43,232
Shh, you'll wake up gus.
284
00:11:43,232 --> 00:11:44,431
What's the other one?
285
00:11:44,431 --> 00:11:45,431
Herman.
286
00:11:45,431 --> 00:11:47,397
Oh, i'm praying for a girl.
287
00:12:05,999 --> 00:12:07,332
Linz? Hmm?
288
00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:11,533
Do you suppose it's out there?
289
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:12,466
What?
290
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,666
Our kid.
291
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,733
Waiting for us to will it into existence.
292
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,800
I never thought about it like that.
293
00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,001
Who knows?
294
00:12:30,601 --> 00:12:31,534
Maybe.
295
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,300
Come on, kid.
296
00:12:41,602 --> 00:12:42,668
Get here.
297
00:12:57,536 --> 00:12:58,536
Well, at last.
298
00:12:58,536 --> 00:13:00,302
My own personal stalker.
299
00:13:00,302 --> 00:13:04,137
Hey, this is a... this is a beauty, bri.
300
00:13:04,137 --> 00:13:05,569
First chance i've had to see it,
301
00:13:05,569 --> 00:13:07,669
You know, but then again, i... i've been busy,
302
00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:10,336
What with the new house and work and...
303
00:13:10,336 --> 00:13:11,636
being arrested and going to jail.
304
00:13:11,636 --> 00:13:14,071
Yeah, i saw the papers.
305
00:13:14,071 --> 00:13:15,670
That's an awful picture.
306
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,437
I'd sue.
307
00:13:17,437 --> 00:13:19,037
Yeah, well maybe when i'm in the big house
308
00:13:19,037 --> 00:13:20,704
I'll study law. I'll do it myself. Oh.
309
00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:23,303
Listen, bri...
310
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,671
look, your friend stockwell, he...
311
00:13:27,671 --> 00:13:29,471
he wants the powers that be to throw the book at me.
312
00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:30,671
You think maybe you could put in a word?
313
00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:31,805
Which word would you like?
314
00:13:31,805 --> 00:13:33,172
"Don't."
315
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:34,872
Sorry, theodore, no can do.
316
00:13:35,938 --> 00:13:36,872
Please.
317
00:13:38,139 --> 00:13:39,571
I'm begging you.
318
00:13:39,571 --> 00:13:41,338
Look, i do his television spots.
319
00:13:41,338 --> 00:13:43,105
I'm not the fucking d.A. I know,
320
00:13:43,105 --> 00:13:45,073
But you've got his ear. He might listen to you.
321
00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:46,305
Well, you know as well as i do
322
00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:48,372
That would be overstepping the bounds.
323
00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:50,572
Since when do you ever give a shit about overstepping the bounds?
324
00:13:50,572 --> 00:13:52,339
You were always the first to cross them.
325
00:13:52,339 --> 00:13:53,506
It's business.
326
00:13:56,839 --> 00:13:57,773
Business.
327
00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:00,707
Right, of course.
328
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:01,640
I understand.
329
00:14:03,107 --> 00:14:04,440
You go off to your meeting.
330
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,907
Don't spend another second
331
00:14:05,907 --> 00:14:07,507
Worrying about a little pisher like me.
332
00:14:08,373 --> 00:14:09,306
Here.
333
00:14:10,473 --> 00:14:11,707
There you go.
334
00:14:11,707 --> 00:14:13,340
Drive safely now.
335
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,508
Motherfucker.
336
00:14:21,242 --> 00:14:22,175
Try this.
337
00:14:25,108 --> 00:14:27,341
Smells like some guys i've gone down on.
338
00:14:27,341 --> 00:14:29,541
That is the grossest, most disgusting thing
339
00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:32,009
I've ever heard. Ew. Thanks.
340
00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:34,243
I want something to go with a burgundy or a merlot.
341
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:36,642
Oh, planning a party? For two.
342
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:39,176
Celebrate ethan's triumphant return...
343
00:14:39,176 --> 00:14:41,742
hail, caesar.
344
00:14:41,742 --> 00:14:43,209
And to supplicate myself at his feet
345
00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:45,710
For thinking he was fucking around on me.
346
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,743
I guess that's what comes from living with brian.
347
00:14:47,743 --> 00:14:50,276
Okay, correction. Brian didn't fuck around on you.
348
00:14:50,276 --> 00:14:51,510
You know, he was always honest,
349
00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:53,510
Right from the start.
350
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,309
This might be nice with a rich, full-Bodied...
351
00:14:57,309 --> 00:14:59,343
eggplant.
352
00:14:59,343 --> 00:15:01,310
I mean, is this not a thing of beauty?
353
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:02,310
Touch it.
354
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,344
Stroke it. Insert it?
355
00:15:06,011 --> 00:15:09,310
I can't help it if everything's taken on a sexual connotation
356
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:11,377
Ever since i met rodney.
357
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:12,677
I can't wait to meet him.
358
00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:14,410
I'm just... i'm sorry ben won't be there.
359
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,811
I'm sure he has more important things.
360
00:15:16,811 --> 00:15:18,246
Going to the gym.
361
00:15:18,246 --> 00:15:20,879
He needs to spend more time at the gym like...
362
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,311
i need asparagus.
363
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,712
Excuse me?
364
00:15:25,712 --> 00:15:27,645
For the salad.
365
00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:29,645
A medley of arugula, endive,
366
00:15:29,645 --> 00:15:32,478
Grilled asparagus and smoked...
367
00:15:32,478 --> 00:15:33,646
llama.
368
00:15:33,646 --> 00:15:34,880
Well, that's what it says.
369
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,279
It's made out of llama's milk.
370
00:15:38,046 --> 00:15:39,546
I can't believe it.
371
00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:42,180
I mean, that i was actually jealous.
372
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,846
I guess it just proves how much i love him...
373
00:15:44,846 --> 00:15:47,279
and i don't just mean sex either.
374
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,647
It's more romantic. It's like...
375
00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:52,680
Brahms or... mahler.
376
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,347
Uh-Huh. I know.
377
00:15:54,347 --> 00:15:55,614
I sound like a great big...
378
00:15:55,614 --> 00:15:57,347
cheeseball! Cheeseball.
379
00:15:58,747 --> 00:16:00,614
Here, catch.
380
00:16:00,614 --> 00:16:03,014
Uncle vic, did you hear me?
381
00:16:03,014 --> 00:16:05,082
Believe it or not, i can pick out produce
382
00:16:05,082 --> 00:16:07,481
And listen at the same time.
383
00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:08,882
"He's angry, he's cruel."
384
00:16:08,882 --> 00:16:10,414
He's not the same ben.
385
00:16:10,414 --> 00:16:12,414
It's 'roid rage, michael. I know,
386
00:16:12,414 --> 00:16:13,815
And i have to put up with it.
387
00:16:13,815 --> 00:16:15,149
I'm just tired of feeling
388
00:16:15,149 --> 00:16:16,615
Like i couldn't possibly understand
389
00:16:16,615 --> 00:16:18,548
What he's going through 'cause i'm not positive.
390
00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:20,649
Sounds like you're a bit rageful yourself.
391
00:16:32,582 --> 00:16:33,849
I said no interruptions.
392
00:16:33,849 --> 00:16:35,350
There's somebody here to see you.
393
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:36,283
Says it's urgent.
394
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,316
Mrs. Ted schmidt?
395
00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:52,851
You might have called first.
396
00:16:54,451 --> 00:16:57,417
If i had, you would've been in a meeting, right?
397
00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:05,718
So, this is the inner sanctum of the great god kinney...
398
00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:09,819
where men's fates are decided.
399
00:17:09,819 --> 00:17:11,652
What? Did theodore send you down here
400
00:17:11,652 --> 00:17:13,585
To throw yourself on my mercy?
401
00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:15,519
He doesn't know i'm here...
402
00:17:15,519 --> 00:17:18,385
and i have no intention of throwing myself on your mercy...
403
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,418
or anything else for that matter.
404
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:22,353
What a relief!
405
00:17:22,353 --> 00:17:24,087
I can come out from behind the desk.
406
00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:33,353
You realize, of course,
407
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,319
There's a very good chance he'll go to jail.
408
00:17:35,319 --> 00:17:37,220
Well, tell him to look on the bright side.
409
00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:38,854
At least he'll get fucked regularly.
410
00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:43,788
I suppose that's meant to be witty.
411
00:17:43,788 --> 00:17:47,221
We all know about your charming sense of humour...
412
00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:50,821
but we also know
413
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:53,655
That deep down, you care about us,
414
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,588
Even though you'd never admit it.
415
00:17:55,588 --> 00:17:57,588
Which is why i've come... i already told ted
416
00:17:57,588 --> 00:17:59,622
There's nothing... i know what you told him.
417
00:18:01,388 --> 00:18:03,722
I also know what you think about teddy and me,
418
00:18:03,722 --> 00:18:05,055
That we're just a...
419
00:18:05,055 --> 00:18:07,122
couple of silly queens setting up house,
420
00:18:07,122 --> 00:18:08,421
That it'll never work.
421
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,689
Well, there was a time
422
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:13,023
When i would've thought exactly the same thing.
423
00:18:14,356 --> 00:18:16,456
But miracle of miracles,
424
00:18:16,456 --> 00:18:18,656
I have never been happier in my entire life
425
00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:20,090
And you want to know why?
426
00:18:21,257 --> 00:18:23,523
Because he gives me love...
427
00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:25,891
and respect.
428
00:18:27,224 --> 00:18:30,490
And now it is my turn to give him something back.
429
00:18:33,624 --> 00:18:35,390
Now i swore to myself this wasn't going to wind up
430
00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:36,757
An old lana turner movie,
431
00:18:36,757 --> 00:18:39,290
But it looks like that's the direction it's headed,
432
00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:41,958
So i'm going to make lana proud.
433
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,058
Please, brian...
434
00:18:48,691 --> 00:18:49,925
i am begging you.
435
00:18:52,525 --> 00:18:53,892
Help him.
436
00:19:00,993 --> 00:19:02,993
Vic cooks, i cook,
437
00:19:02,993 --> 00:19:04,859
All the grassis are cooks.
438
00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:06,793
Nonny, uh, that was our grandmother,
439
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:09,093
Nonny made cannoli that was...
440
00:19:09,093 --> 00:19:10,626
lighter than air.
441
00:19:10,626 --> 00:19:12,426
Before she died, she asked me what i wanted,
442
00:19:12,426 --> 00:19:13,827
I said her recipe.
443
00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:15,127
She wouldn't give it to me.
444
00:19:15,127 --> 00:19:17,060
She took it with her right to her grave.
445
00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:19,627
Which is why we're having poached pears...
446
00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,261
with almond cream.
447
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,760
Ooh. Ah!
448
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,194
And her gnocchi,
449
00:19:24,194 --> 00:19:25,693
Well, if you've ever tried to make it,
450
00:19:25,693 --> 00:19:27,861
You know it can come out like bullets. Ma.
451
00:19:27,861 --> 00:19:29,795
Ma, would you let rodney talk?
452
00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:32,028
Who's stopping him?
453
00:19:32,028 --> 00:19:34,128
You sort of have to dive in around here.
454
00:19:34,128 --> 00:19:36,461
You were telling us how you and vic met.
455
00:19:36,461 --> 00:19:37,661
A poz men's group.
456
00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:39,961
Mm-Mmm.
457
00:19:41,461 --> 00:19:43,196
At a poz men's group.
458
00:19:43,196 --> 00:19:45,229
We saw each other across a crowded room.
459
00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:46,529
I didn't even want to go,
460
00:19:46,529 --> 00:19:48,295
But some friends of mine convinced me
461
00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:50,163
That i should meet some positive men.
462
00:19:50,163 --> 00:19:51,829
Why's that?
463
00:19:51,829 --> 00:19:53,529
I'd been dating negative men for a while
464
00:19:53,529 --> 00:19:55,096
And it never seemed to work out.
465
00:19:55,096 --> 00:19:56,395
No matter how hard we tried,
466
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:57,762
They could never really understand
467
00:19:57,762 --> 00:20:01,264
What it was like living with this thing...
468
00:20:01,264 --> 00:20:04,130
and with vic, there's no need to explain.
469
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:06,663
We already know what each other's going through.
470
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,264
Instead of separating us, it brought us closer together.
471
00:20:12,797 --> 00:20:14,864
Of course, not everyone who's positive
472
00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:16,764
Feels that way.
473
00:20:16,764 --> 00:20:18,265
You mind if i ask, are you...
474
00:20:18,265 --> 00:20:19,265
no, he isn't,
475
00:20:19,265 --> 00:20:20,764
But his boyfriend is.
476
00:20:22,031 --> 00:20:23,597
Oh, i'm sorry.
477
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,064
I never meant to say that you... it's... it's okay.
478
00:20:26,064 --> 00:20:27,931
I'm... i'm sure there're a lot of things
479
00:20:27,931 --> 00:20:28,898
I'll never understand...
480
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:34,065
but it's not for a lack of trying.
481
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,167
Woo!
482
00:21:00,566 --> 00:21:03,168
Whoo... don't you know you're supposed to let the boss win?
483
00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:04,467
Why would i do that?
484
00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:12,534
Some people might say it's smart.
485
00:21:12,534 --> 00:21:14,001
Yeah, well, some people are stupid.
486
00:21:17,334 --> 00:21:18,968
Why would you trust me if i let you win?
487
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:22,768
Score another point.
488
00:21:24,202 --> 00:21:25,368
Besides, i don't like to lose.
489
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:27,501
That makes two of us.
490
00:21:27,501 --> 00:21:29,068
You want to check out the steam room?
491
00:21:31,701 --> 00:21:32,636
Love to.
492
00:21:38,836 --> 00:21:41,502
I asked the d.A. To fast-Track the schmidt trial
493
00:21:41,502 --> 00:21:42,736
In time for the election.
494
00:21:45,502 --> 00:21:47,703
I was also thinking...
495
00:21:47,703 --> 00:21:50,303
we should do a tv spot with a bunch of school kids,
496
00:21:50,303 --> 00:21:52,271
On the dangers of porn.
497
00:21:52,271 --> 00:21:54,070
Yeah, the ad's a good idea.
498
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:55,904
Keep the familyguy image alive...
499
00:21:57,537 --> 00:21:59,503
but...
500
00:21:59,503 --> 00:22:01,637
there's not much i could do with this trial.
501
00:22:01,637 --> 00:22:02,770
It's all over the news.
502
00:22:02,770 --> 00:22:04,704
Yesterday's news.
503
00:22:04,704 --> 00:22:07,272
That's why i want you to keep it alive.
504
00:22:07,272 --> 00:22:10,005
You know, it's like selling last year's model that...
505
00:22:10,005 --> 00:22:11,838
everyone's already seen it.
506
00:22:11,838 --> 00:22:14,871
Besides, it's not like you arrested o.J.
507
00:22:14,871 --> 00:22:17,205
That guy's a bug.
508
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,238
He's a schmuck.
509
00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:21,872
He didn't even kill anybody.
510
00:22:21,872 --> 00:22:23,639
But if we could get a conviction...
511
00:22:23,639 --> 00:22:25,106
ah, that would be the worst thing,
512
00:22:25,106 --> 00:22:27,472
And your opponent will accuse you of going after some small-Fry
513
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:28,772
To get the free publicity,
514
00:22:28,772 --> 00:22:30,872
The press'll turn him into a martyr.
515
00:22:30,872 --> 00:22:32,338
It's like my dear father used to say,
516
00:22:32,338 --> 00:22:33,472
If you're going to pick on someone,
517
00:22:33,472 --> 00:22:35,007
Pick on someone your own size.
518
00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:38,740
So where do we go next?
519
00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:40,606
Well, i'd suggest the showers.
520
00:22:46,140 --> 00:22:47,140
You coming?
521
00:22:48,740 --> 00:22:50,007
Yeah, in a minute.
522
00:22:52,074 --> 00:22:54,307
To the new york phil.
523
00:22:54,307 --> 00:22:56,108
And the london phil,
524
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:57,541
And the vienna phil,
525
00:22:57,541 --> 00:22:59,974
And the berlin phil and the...
526
00:22:59,974 --> 00:23:01,908
quick, name another phil.
527
00:23:01,908 --> 00:23:02,941
Phil farnsworth?
528
00:23:02,941 --> 00:23:04,741
We were in the seventh grade together.
529
00:23:04,741 --> 00:23:06,809
To phil farnsworth, wherever he may be.
530
00:23:09,575 --> 00:23:11,508
Mmm... mmm.
531
00:23:15,675 --> 00:23:18,675
I love your mouth. Ah?
532
00:23:18,675 --> 00:23:20,142
You do? Mm-Hmm.
533
00:23:21,843 --> 00:23:24,376
Yeah, you have the most perfect lips.
534
00:23:25,277 --> 00:23:26,210
Swallowing.
535
00:23:28,676 --> 00:23:31,010
Of course, i love the rest of you too,
536
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,943
But when i was in that hotel room the other night,
537
00:23:33,943 --> 00:23:36,409
Alone, jerking off...
538
00:23:36,409 --> 00:23:38,544
you were touching yourself? You didn't call me?
539
00:23:38,544 --> 00:23:42,011
I was imagining you...
540
00:23:42,011 --> 00:23:44,577
kissing me all over.
541
00:23:46,077 --> 00:23:48,044
Sweet...
542
00:23:48,044 --> 00:23:49,777
tendah kisses...
543
00:23:51,044 --> 00:23:53,444
and then...
544
00:23:53,444 --> 00:23:57,078
I went down on your hot, hard cock... oh-H.
545
00:23:57,078 --> 00:23:58,511
Like this.
546
00:23:59,878 --> 00:24:01,112
Ah!
547
00:24:02,311 --> 00:24:05,778
Oh, who the fuck is that, the girl scouts?
548
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:06,878
I'll tell them to fuck off.
549
00:24:11,445 --> 00:24:13,512
Hi, uh, is ethan...
550
00:24:13,512 --> 00:24:14,479
here?
551
00:24:25,513 --> 00:24:26,980
What're you doing here?
552
00:24:26,980 --> 00:24:29,313
I wanted to see you again, so i...
553
00:24:29,313 --> 00:24:30,247
so i drove in.
554
00:24:33,181 --> 00:24:35,413
Well, you shouldn't have. I think you better go now.
555
00:24:35,413 --> 00:24:37,114
No, wait.
556
00:24:37,114 --> 00:24:38,914
He came all the way from harrisburg.
557
00:24:40,215 --> 00:24:41,981
It's a long drive.
558
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:43,248
Believe me, i know.
559
00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:45,481
Oh yeah? You his roommate or...
560
00:24:47,215 --> 00:24:48,447
i'm his muse.
561
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:11,117
What're you sitting in the dark for?
562
00:25:11,117 --> 00:25:13,184
Waiting for you.
563
00:25:13,184 --> 00:25:14,983
Told you, i was working out.
564
00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:17,583
Legs, i know.
565
00:25:20,284 --> 00:25:21,383
Oh, so, uh...
566
00:25:22,716 --> 00:25:24,383
what's vic's new boyfriend like?
567
00:25:26,383 --> 00:25:28,651
They're so alike, it's uncanny.
568
00:25:28,651 --> 00:25:31,684
Mmm, what same interests, same temperament?
569
00:25:31,684 --> 00:25:32,617
Same disease.
570
00:25:35,717 --> 00:25:36,651
They're both positive.
571
00:25:40,084 --> 00:25:41,018
Oh.
572
00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:46,418
Where'd you get that?
573
00:25:48,785 --> 00:25:51,585
I found it... wrapped up in the garbage.
574
00:25:51,585 --> 00:25:53,318
Michael... michael, i've... i've used it.
575
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:55,085
Just p-Put it down.
576
00:25:56,652 --> 00:25:59,452
You know, seeing vic and his new boyfriend,
577
00:25:59,452 --> 00:26:01,287
That really made me think, you know?
578
00:26:03,053 --> 00:26:05,153
Maybe you're right. Maybe you should be with a poz guy.
579
00:26:05,153 --> 00:26:06,820
No... no, no.
580
00:26:08,519 --> 00:26:10,553
I was upset when i... i said that.
581
00:26:10,553 --> 00:26:12,586
I... i didn't mean that...
582
00:26:12,586 --> 00:26:14,453
maybe that poz guy should be me.
583
00:26:14,453 --> 00:26:15,687
Michael, please!
584
00:26:15,687 --> 00:26:16,620
Please what?
585
00:26:20,554 --> 00:26:23,054
All it would take is a quick jab in a vein and...
586
00:26:23,054 --> 00:26:24,987
be over in a flash.
587
00:26:24,987 --> 00:26:25,987
I'd hardly feel a thing
588
00:26:25,987 --> 00:26:27,854
And then i'd be just like you.
589
00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:30,155
I don't want you to be like me.
590
00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:31,755
You said you want someone
591
00:26:31,755 --> 00:26:33,354
Who knows what you're going through...
592
00:26:34,855 --> 00:26:36,088
who wakes up every morning
593
00:26:36,088 --> 00:26:38,321
And suddenly remembers, "hey, that's right,
594
00:26:38,321 --> 00:26:39,521
I've got this thing."
595
00:26:40,922 --> 00:26:44,889
Who thinks every time he gets a cold or the flu,
596
00:26:44,889 --> 00:26:47,355
"This is it, this is the end."
597
00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:48,923
Who's filled with the resentment and anger
598
00:26:48,923 --> 00:26:50,689
'Cause he could never have kids,
599
00:26:50,689 --> 00:26:52,089
And who has to shoot himself up
600
00:26:52,089 --> 00:26:55,089
With steroids because his lover died,
601
00:26:55,089 --> 00:26:57,023
And he's scared shitless he's next,
602
00:26:57,023 --> 00:26:58,522
And who has to drive away
603
00:26:58,522 --> 00:26:59,522
The person he loves,
604
00:26:59,522 --> 00:27:00,890
And who loves him...
605
00:27:02,356 --> 00:27:04,523
because he doesn't understand.
606
00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:07,356
Well, now i will.
607
00:27:07,356 --> 00:27:08,356
No, please, please, don't...
608
00:27:08,356 --> 00:27:10,757
for god's sake, stop!
609
00:27:10,757 --> 00:27:12,723
No, you stop.
610
00:27:12,723 --> 00:27:14,291
Stop using this shit.
611
00:27:16,225 --> 00:27:18,058
Stop hurting yourself...
612
00:27:18,058 --> 00:27:19,691
stop hurting us.
613
00:27:29,091 --> 00:27:30,225
"I want to be with someone
614
00:27:30,225 --> 00:27:31,625
Who only wants to be with me.
615
00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:34,259
Someone i can be with forever."
616
00:27:34,259 --> 00:27:35,458
A crock of shit.
617
00:27:35,458 --> 00:27:37,126
I meant it.
618
00:27:37,126 --> 00:27:38,926
Yeah, i'm sure you did the second you were saying it.
619
00:27:38,926 --> 00:27:40,392
Christ, look what you're doing to your hands.
620
00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:42,026
Oh, so fucking what?
621
00:27:42,026 --> 00:27:43,226
You're a liar!
622
00:27:45,193 --> 00:27:46,625
I didn't want to hurt you.
623
00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,560
That is so laughably,
624
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,359
So pathetically lame
625
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,893
I am not even going to comment on it!
626
00:27:52,893 --> 00:27:54,060
Try something else.
627
00:27:56,227 --> 00:27:57,359
I was...
628
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:58,993
i was covering my ass.
629
00:27:58,993 --> 00:28:00,960
That's better.
630
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:01,893
Go on.
631
00:28:03,861 --> 00:28:06,327
I was alone, you weren't there.
632
00:28:06,327 --> 00:28:08,928
Now it's my fault. That's not what i mean.
633
00:28:08,928 --> 00:28:10,061
I missed you.
634
00:28:11,427 --> 00:28:12,961
So you... since you couldn't bear
635
00:28:12,961 --> 00:28:14,928
To be without me for one fucking night,
636
00:28:14,928 --> 00:28:18,795
You decide to pick up some... drooling admirer?
637
00:28:18,795 --> 00:28:19,728
Basically, yes.
638
00:28:21,196 --> 00:28:24,095
So tell me, mr. Gold,
639
00:28:24,095 --> 00:28:25,461
As a last minute replacement,
640
00:28:25,461 --> 00:28:26,395
How'd he do?
641
00:28:27,196 --> 00:28:28,695
Did he kneel at your feet
642
00:28:28,695 --> 00:28:30,662
And worship your huge talent?
643
00:28:30,662 --> 00:28:32,829
Did he marvel at your magnificent fingering?
644
00:28:32,829 --> 00:28:35,263
Did the way you stroke your bow leave him breathless?
645
00:28:35,263 --> 00:28:37,963
It was one stupid mistake!
646
00:28:37,963 --> 00:28:40,263
Look how many times you forgave brian.
647
00:28:40,263 --> 00:28:43,063
I never forgave brian!
648
00:28:46,230 --> 00:28:47,362
I never had to...
649
00:28:49,030 --> 00:28:51,097
because he never promised me anything.
650
00:28:53,064 --> 00:28:53,997
You did.
651
00:28:59,530 --> 00:29:01,298
I need you.
652
00:29:01,298 --> 00:29:02,597
I don't know what i'm going to do without you.
653
00:29:02,597 --> 00:29:04,463
I'm sure you'll survive.
654
00:29:04,463 --> 00:29:05,965
After all, you still have your music.
655
00:29:07,698 --> 00:29:09,199
It's the only thing you ever really loved.
656
00:29:22,899 --> 00:29:24,833
Uh, even if worse comes to worse
657
00:29:24,833 --> 00:29:27,365
And you have to go to jail,
658
00:29:27,365 --> 00:29:28,699
It won't be so bad.
659
00:29:30,266 --> 00:29:31,465
How do you figure that?
660
00:29:33,166 --> 00:29:35,899
You'll have time to read and work out.
661
00:29:36,967 --> 00:29:39,034
It'll be like a spa vacation.
662
00:29:39,034 --> 00:29:40,767
Oh yeah, i hear the prison guards
663
00:29:40,767 --> 00:29:42,366
Do a great herbal body wrap,
664
00:29:42,366 --> 00:29:44,500
And the chefs prepare a fabulous light cuisine.
665
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:45,733
I'll come to visit
666
00:29:45,733 --> 00:29:49,366
And we'll make mad, passionate love.
667
00:29:49,366 --> 00:29:52,134
I doubt the state pen allows gay conjugal visits.
668
00:29:52,134 --> 00:29:53,901
They did in this film i saw.
669
00:29:53,901 --> 00:29:55,035
Which one was that?
670
00:29:55,035 --> 00:29:56,668
"Jeff stryker does hard time".
671
00:29:59,968 --> 00:30:01,935
Look, em,
672
00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,768
I appreciate you trying to cheer me up,
673
00:30:03,768 --> 00:30:05,668
But life,
674
00:30:05,668 --> 00:30:07,768
At least as i know it...
675
00:30:07,768 --> 00:30:09,136
is over.
676
00:30:10,402 --> 00:30:12,335
Oh my god, it's the police.
677
00:30:12,335 --> 00:30:13,669
They've come to get me.
678
00:30:13,669 --> 00:30:15,069
They've come to get me. No, no. It's...
679
00:30:15,069 --> 00:30:16,002
no...
680
00:30:21,203 --> 00:30:22,902
Hey. He's... hey.
681
00:30:22,902 --> 00:30:23,870
Oh, teddy!
682
00:30:24,937 --> 00:30:26,336
Hurry up, get dressed. We're late.
683
00:30:26,336 --> 00:30:28,003
For what? Wh-Where're we going?
684
00:30:28,003 --> 00:30:29,103
The d.A.'S office.
685
00:30:29,103 --> 00:30:30,636
They're willing to accept a plea bargain.
686
00:30:30,636 --> 00:30:32,270
You plead guilty to the charges,
687
00:30:32,270 --> 00:30:34,570
And they won't seek a prison sentence.
688
00:30:34,570 --> 00:30:36,436
Oh my god!
689
00:30:36,436 --> 00:30:37,903
Oh my god, that's wonderful!
690
00:30:37,903 --> 00:30:39,171
Isn't that wonderful, teddy?
691
00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:40,437
I c... i c... i can't believe it.
692
00:30:40,437 --> 00:30:42,071
How... how did you convince them?
693
00:30:42,071 --> 00:30:44,071
I didn't. I guess you must have friends in high places.
694
00:30:47,138 --> 00:30:48,737
You... you don't suppose brian...
695
00:30:49,804 --> 00:30:51,238
naw, that's impossible.
696
00:30:51,238 --> 00:30:52,938
Oh, i wouldn't be so sure.
697
00:30:52,938 --> 00:30:55,605
You know how forceful your powers of persuasion can be.
698
00:30:55,605 --> 00:30:57,172
Uh, don't rejoice yet.
699
00:30:57,172 --> 00:30:59,306
They're going to slap you with a motherfucker of a fine.
700
00:30:59,306 --> 00:31:01,272
You're also going to have to shut down the website.
701
00:31:01,272 --> 00:31:02,939
Forever?
702
00:31:02,939 --> 00:31:05,272
You do anything even remotely connected to porn again,
703
00:31:05,272 --> 00:31:07,139
Even buying a fucking naked greeting card,
704
00:31:07,139 --> 00:31:09,272
The d.A.'Ll slam you to the wall and screw you standing.
705
00:31:10,673 --> 00:31:11,940
Now put your pants on.
706
00:31:24,439 --> 00:31:27,141
Didn't mean to wake you.
707
00:31:27,141 --> 00:31:29,274
I was already up.
708
00:31:29,274 --> 00:31:30,540
I didn't get much sleep.
709
00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:31,874
Yeah, me either.
710
00:31:33,674 --> 00:31:35,473
So who told you to sleep on the sofa?
711
00:31:35,473 --> 00:31:37,208
Well, after what you said, i...
712
00:31:39,407 --> 00:31:40,407
i meant it.
713
00:31:42,341 --> 00:31:45,175
Look, baby, i'm going to have a hard enough day,
714
00:31:45,175 --> 00:31:46,675
Going to paul's memorial,
715
00:31:46,675 --> 00:31:48,675
Seeing all those guys with their sunken cheeks.
716
00:31:50,508 --> 00:31:52,075
At least they're still alive,
717
00:31:52,075 --> 00:31:53,008
And so are you.
718
00:32:09,276 --> 00:32:11,243
I've decided to stop using the steroids.
719
00:32:13,643 --> 00:32:14,577
Good for you.
720
00:32:16,277 --> 00:32:18,677
They are counterproductive to my healing.
721
00:32:18,677 --> 00:32:21,343
Why don't you just say they've turned you into a raving shit?
722
00:32:21,343 --> 00:32:23,343
All right, they have turned me into a raving shit.
723
00:32:26,743 --> 00:32:27,910
I'm sorry.
724
00:32:29,178 --> 00:32:30,111
Thanks.
725
00:32:31,312 --> 00:32:32,945
You're apologizing for the wrong thing.
726
00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:35,811
Well, what then?
727
00:32:37,212 --> 00:32:38,578
You're the brainy professor.
728
00:32:38,578 --> 00:32:39,511
You figure it out.
729
00:32:42,744 --> 00:32:44,078
Okay, i'm sorry for saying
730
00:32:44,078 --> 00:32:45,679
That i should find someone who's positive.
731
00:32:45,679 --> 00:32:47,079
That was the drugs talking.
732
00:32:47,079 --> 00:32:49,378
No, it was you.
733
00:32:49,378 --> 00:32:50,512
Don't make excuses.
734
00:32:50,512 --> 00:32:52,478
If that's what you want, then do it.
735
00:32:52,478 --> 00:32:53,679
It's not what i want.
736
00:32:53,679 --> 00:32:54,712
I want you.
737
00:32:54,712 --> 00:32:56,146
A.
9:00 o'clock on tuesday morning?
738
00:32:56,146 --> 00:32:57,146
What about 10:00?
739
00:32:57,146 --> 00:32:59,345
I will feel the same at 10:00,
740
00:32:59,345 --> 00:33:01,413
And 11:00, and 12:00.
741
00:33:03,379 --> 00:33:04,746
You're really going to stop?
742
00:33:04,746 --> 00:33:06,247
I already have.
743
00:33:08,214 --> 00:33:10,479
Now, why don't you get dressed
744
00:33:10,479 --> 00:33:11,613
And come with me?
745
00:33:13,980 --> 00:33:15,914
It's not my world. I don't belong there.
746
00:33:21,614 --> 00:33:22,681
You belong with me.
747
00:33:31,182 --> 00:33:32,949
Someone didn't sleep at home.
748
00:33:34,182 --> 00:33:35,915
What are you, a detective?
749
00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:40,515
No, it's just the same stunning ensemble you wore yesterday.
750
00:33:40,515 --> 00:33:42,548
I spent the night at daphne's,
751
00:33:42,548 --> 00:33:44,182
If it's any of your fucking business.
752
00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:49,317
Do i detect a discordant note in love's tender refrain?
753
00:34:00,816 --> 00:34:02,884
Hey, deb, can i get some coffee?
754
00:34:02,884 --> 00:34:04,151
Coming right up, honey.
755
00:34:12,483 --> 00:34:14,084
I've been, uh...
756
00:34:14,084 --> 00:34:16,350
thinking of a way to say this
757
00:34:16,350 --> 00:34:18,651
Without sounding maudlin and hence incurring your wrath,
758
00:34:18,651 --> 00:34:21,451
So i've decided to delete any references to loyalty,
759
00:34:21,451 --> 00:34:24,018
Friendship, responsibility, and being one's brother's keeper
760
00:34:24,018 --> 00:34:25,451
And go with a simple...
761
00:34:27,319 --> 00:34:28,785
"thank you."
762
00:34:28,785 --> 00:34:30,152
Who said i was buying you lunch?
763
00:34:31,952 --> 00:34:33,819
I'm talking about saving my life.
764
00:34:33,819 --> 00:34:35,586
Oh. That.
765
00:34:37,686 --> 00:34:38,619
That was nothing.
766
00:34:40,053 --> 00:34:41,819
Which is exactly what mel says i'll be worth
767
00:34:41,819 --> 00:34:43,186
By the time they get done with me.
768
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,253
But... better "hard up" than "hard time".
769
00:34:48,619 --> 00:34:49,620
Here you go, teddy.
770
00:34:49,620 --> 00:34:51,553
Thanks, deb.
771
00:34:51,553 --> 00:34:53,753
Well, good news.
772
00:34:53,753 --> 00:34:56,020
I won't be going to jail.
773
00:34:56,020 --> 00:34:57,553
Thanks to a friend.
774
00:34:57,553 --> 00:35:00,453
Oh, that's wonderful. Oh...
775
00:35:00,453 --> 00:35:02,353
honey, i'm so relieved.
776
00:35:02,353 --> 00:35:04,087
Oh, god, that's on the house!
777
00:35:09,155 --> 00:35:10,554
Just don't flatter yourself.
778
00:35:10,554 --> 00:35:12,855
I didn't do it for you.
779
00:35:12,855 --> 00:35:14,421
I did it to protect my client.
780
00:35:16,588 --> 00:35:17,621
Of course.
781
00:35:19,188 --> 00:35:20,522
How could i have been so presumptuous?
782
00:35:25,022 --> 00:35:25,956
Whoo.
783
00:35:30,856 --> 00:35:33,689
I'll never figure out why he does that.
784
00:35:33,689 --> 00:35:35,755
You mean act like a total shit?
785
00:35:35,755 --> 00:35:38,123
When it's obvious he just saved teddy's ass.
786
00:35:41,324 --> 00:35:43,057
One special, one pink plate.
787
00:35:45,090 --> 00:35:47,823
You're not supposed to test every time you tinkle.
788
00:35:47,823 --> 00:35:48,990
Says who?
789
00:35:48,990 --> 00:35:50,990
You have to let mother nature take her course
790
00:35:50,990 --> 00:35:52,824
In her own sweet time.
791
00:35:52,824 --> 00:35:53,891
Oh...
792
00:35:53,891 --> 00:35:55,958
It's easy for her. She's already a mother.
793
00:35:58,091 --> 00:35:59,390
All right.
794
00:35:59,390 --> 00:36:01,524
I'll let you have your fun with chemistry
795
00:36:01,524 --> 00:36:03,824
And go make dinner. Sloppy joes okay?
796
00:36:05,824 --> 00:36:06,757
Mel?
797
00:36:08,592 --> 00:36:10,592
Don't worry about putting the buns in the oven.
798
00:36:10,592 --> 00:36:11,525
What?
799
00:36:17,658 --> 00:36:19,491
Oh my... god.
800
00:36:23,093 --> 00:36:24,093
It's...
801
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,327
it's blue.
802
00:36:27,327 --> 00:36:28,526
You're damn right, it's blue.
803
00:36:29,626 --> 00:36:30,659
Well, this means you're...
804
00:36:30,659 --> 00:36:31,593
you got it.
805
00:36:33,093 --> 00:36:35,426
A-Are you sure this is accurate? Oh, better be,
806
00:36:35,426 --> 00:36:37,860
Or else i'm going to sue the panties off that company.
807
00:36:37,860 --> 00:36:40,161
This is unbelievable.
808
00:36:40,161 --> 00:36:42,228
First time out of the box.
809
00:36:42,228 --> 00:36:43,594
Told you.
810
00:36:43,594 --> 00:36:46,161
Don't fuck with mother nature, huh?
811
00:36:46,161 --> 00:36:47,493
Well, i'm here to tell her,
812
00:36:47,493 --> 00:36:49,027
"Don't fuck with me."
813
00:37:25,463 --> 00:37:27,630
What do you want to do with all these?
814
00:37:27,630 --> 00:37:29,064
Hmm?
815
00:37:29,064 --> 00:37:30,563
Oh, uh...
816
00:37:30,563 --> 00:37:32,930
Thought i'd donate them to charity. Hmm.
817
00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:36,331
You can get a write-Off.
818
00:37:36,331 --> 00:37:38,264
Yeah, somehow, i don't think i'll be needing that now.
819
00:37:41,131 --> 00:37:42,731
Oh my god!
820
00:37:43,865 --> 00:37:44,798
Look!
821
00:37:46,131 --> 00:37:50,198
It's my revolving bed, from when i was a big star.
822
00:37:50,198 --> 00:37:51,664
You still are.
823
00:37:51,664 --> 00:37:54,831
It's the dicks that got small.
824
00:37:54,831 --> 00:37:57,066
I never let anyone else use it.
825
00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:59,899
It retired when you did.
826
00:37:59,899 --> 00:38:01,765
God, it brings back so many memories. Mmm.
827
00:38:02,832 --> 00:38:05,032
The g.I. Joe jerk,
828
00:38:05,032 --> 00:38:06,665
Construction worker whack.
829
00:38:06,665 --> 00:38:08,799
God bless the village people.
830
00:38:08,799 --> 00:38:10,465
True visionaries.
831
00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:13,700
So you, uh... mmm.
832
00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:15,533
Care to take her for a little spin?
833
00:38:18,334 --> 00:38:20,633
Uh... no, i...
834
00:38:20,633 --> 00:38:22,433
Can't. I got... too much to do.
835
00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:24,200
Uh... please, teddy?
836
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,566
Come on, one last time.
837
00:38:28,601 --> 00:38:31,101
All right, boys. Start 'er up!
838
00:38:31,101 --> 00:38:32,500
Here we go.
839
00:38:38,201 --> 00:38:41,467
Remember, you gave me my porn name. Huh.
840
00:38:41,467 --> 00:38:43,168
"Fetch dixon".
841
00:38:43,168 --> 00:38:45,401
Name of your favourite pet and the street you grew up on.
842
00:38:48,401 --> 00:38:51,135
You know, you never told me yours.
843
00:38:57,768 --> 00:39:00,270
"Millicent kensington".
844
00:39:10,903 --> 00:39:13,603
Oh, it's all right, baby.
845
00:39:13,603 --> 00:39:15,604
You cry.
846
00:39:15,604 --> 00:39:17,104
You cry all you want.
847
00:39:19,704 --> 00:39:22,871
You know what i'm most upset about?
848
00:39:22,871 --> 00:39:24,004
No more "rim-A-Rama"?
849
00:39:26,004 --> 00:39:28,537
That we had to give up the house.
850
00:39:28,537 --> 00:39:31,605
I really wanted you to have that.
851
00:39:31,605 --> 00:39:33,072
Honey, your saying that...
852
00:39:33,072 --> 00:39:35,838
means more to me than living in it.
853
00:39:35,838 --> 00:39:37,239
Yeah, not quite.
854
00:39:39,005 --> 00:39:40,905
Listen.
855
00:39:40,905 --> 00:39:42,738
Where i come from,
856
00:39:42,738 --> 00:39:45,471
We had tornadoes all the time.
857
00:39:45,471 --> 00:39:48,405
They'd blow the roof off, destroy everything.
858
00:39:50,273 --> 00:39:55,273
We always looked at it as a chance to rebuild,
859
00:39:55,273 --> 00:39:56,706
You know, make things better.
860
00:39:58,139 --> 00:40:00,006
So the business is gone.
861
00:40:00,006 --> 00:40:01,974
So the house is gone.
862
00:40:01,974 --> 00:40:03,540
So every cent you ever made is...
863
00:40:03,540 --> 00:40:05,040
Yeah, yeah, i got it. I got it.
864
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,341
The point is, it doesn't matter.
865
00:40:12,207 --> 00:40:13,506
We still have each other...
866
00:40:14,907 --> 00:40:19,308
and together, we are going to be just fine.
867
00:41:00,610 --> 00:41:03,409
That's a montecristoespecial smuggled from cuba,
868
00:41:03,409 --> 00:41:05,044
So stick it in your mouth and suck.
869
00:41:07,944 --> 00:41:09,711
If that's any indication of your technique,
870
00:41:09,711 --> 00:41:11,577
It's amazing you have a boyfriend.
871
00:41:11,577 --> 00:41:13,577
I'm still in shock.
872
00:41:13,577 --> 00:41:16,211
We made a baby after just one try.
873
00:41:16,211 --> 00:41:18,078
It's fucking depressing, all right.
874
00:41:18,078 --> 00:41:21,445
Your sperm actually liked melanie's eggs. Ugh.
875
00:41:21,445 --> 00:41:23,545
Well, i guess there's no accounting for some people's tastes.
876
00:41:28,312 --> 00:41:29,346
Easy, mikey.
877
00:41:32,145 --> 00:41:34,279
I don't think i can do it. What?
878
00:41:34,279 --> 00:41:36,379
Be responsible for another life.
879
00:41:36,379 --> 00:41:37,446
Did i ask you to?
880
00:41:37,446 --> 00:41:39,247
Not you, asshole. The kid.
881
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:40,412
Job's done.
882
00:41:40,412 --> 00:41:42,046
From here on out, the lezzie's do all the work.
883
00:41:42,046 --> 00:41:44,113
All you have to do is show up for birthday parties
884
00:41:44,113 --> 00:41:46,412
And the occasional walk in the park.
885
00:41:46,412 --> 00:41:49,080
I don't intend to be a drop-In dad like you.
886
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:50,080
I want to be involved,
887
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:51,513
A real father...
888
00:41:51,513 --> 00:41:52,947
if i can just figure out how.
889
00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:56,181
You're going to be a great dad.
890
00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:57,281
What makes you so sure?
891
00:41:57,281 --> 00:41:58,947
You raised me, didn't you?
892
00:41:58,947 --> 00:42:00,081
Look how i turned out.
61057
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