Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,107 --> 00:00:05,729
Today on "Jon Glaser
Loves Gear"...
2
00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,183
Curling!
3
00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:13,703
'Cause it's rocks
on ice-- get it?
4
00:00:13,737 --> 00:00:16,913
♪
5
00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:31,721
Gear!
6
00:00:33,102 --> 00:00:35,035
Today on "Jon Glaser
Loves Gear"
7
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,554
I wanted to try
a non-traditional activity
8
00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:40,178
that has some really cool,
weirder gear.
9
00:00:40,212 --> 00:00:42,076
One sport that fits
that bill perfectly
10
00:00:42,111 --> 00:00:45,217
and gave me a good excuse
to expand my gear collection,
11
00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:47,461
is curling.
You probably recognize curling
12
00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:50,636
as that sport where someone
slides a big rock on ice
13
00:00:50,671 --> 00:00:52,983
while others sweep
the ice with brooms.
14
00:00:53,018 --> 00:00:56,194
Well, today I'm meeting with
Dean Roth and Maria Eswine
15
00:00:56,228 --> 00:00:58,092
at Brooklyn Lakeside
Curling Club
16
00:00:58,127 --> 00:01:00,267
to try curling
for the first time ever.
17
00:01:00,301 --> 00:01:01,751
First of all, I to just
talk about the gear
18
00:01:01,785 --> 00:01:02,786
before we get into it.
19
00:01:02,821 --> 00:01:04,202
Okay.I kind of feel that I nailed it.
20
00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:06,307
Gear!Got some good curling gloves.
21
00:01:06,342 --> 00:01:08,137
Good gloves.I got these curling pants
22
00:01:08,171 --> 00:01:09,759
that I think are pretty cool.
23
00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:11,312
Great pants.Thank you.
24
00:01:11,347 --> 00:01:15,316
I kind of made a custom USA
curling jacket as a tip of the--
25
00:01:15,351 --> 00:01:17,215
tip of the cap
to the USA men's team
26
00:01:17,249 --> 00:01:19,493
that brought home the gold
at the Olympics.
27
00:01:19,527 --> 00:01:21,115
[deep voice]
Congratulations, America.
28
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:23,013
[eagle screeches]
29
00:01:23,048 --> 00:01:24,118
Gear!This is, I guess, I guess,
30
00:01:24,153 --> 00:01:25,809
a sliding thing
for the knee, right?
31
00:01:25,844 --> 00:01:29,019
That's for people who are gonna
be, uh, just starting out
32
00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,125
and may not be able to keep
their knee off the ice.
33
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,782
So it's a beginner's thing.It's a beginner's thing.
34
00:01:32,816 --> 00:01:35,129
Oh.
Well, it looks cool.
35
00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:36,441
Beginner's cool.
36
00:01:36,475 --> 00:01:37,683
Gear!And then, of course,
37
00:01:37,718 --> 00:01:40,514
I've got some really sweet
curling shoes.
38
00:01:40,548 --> 00:01:42,447
I got two brooms in here-- Gear!
39
00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:44,138
I love the logo,
'cause look at that--
40
00:01:44,173 --> 00:01:46,692
it's a curling stick,
for the "O".
41
00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:48,280
Sweet logo.
42
00:01:48,315 --> 00:01:49,799
And then I brought my own stone,
if that's cool.
43
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:50,869
The stones are
44 pounds of granite,
44
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,457
and if they're at room
temperature,
45
00:01:52,491 --> 00:01:54,631
they'll pretty much stick if you
try to throw them on the ice.
46
00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:56,771
So next time I do this, 'cause
I know I'm gonna love this
47
00:01:56,806 --> 00:01:59,360
and be good at it,
just gotta have cold stones.
48
00:01:59,395 --> 00:02:01,776
Cold stones.
49
00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:04,331
And then Mick Jagger and Keith
Richards, when they're dead,
50
00:02:04,365 --> 00:02:05,849
they're gonna be
some cold stones.
51
00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:07,955
Cold Stones.
52
00:02:07,989 --> 00:02:09,301
Well, let's, uh...
53
00:02:09,336 --> 00:02:11,476
Let's curl!
54
00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:13,167
I was excited
to start the lesson.
55
00:02:13,202 --> 00:02:16,343
We stuck some GoPros on
the brooms for some cool shots.
56
00:02:16,377 --> 00:02:18,966
[hard rock music]
57
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,555
And then it was
on to some curling.
58
00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:26,663
Get it...!
59
00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:28,251
Yeah, yeah!
[shouting]
60
00:02:30,253 --> 00:02:32,635
Nice shot.Whoo! Whoo!
61
00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:33,981
We got in the house!Yeah.
62
00:02:34,015 --> 00:02:35,845
In the [bleep] house!
63
00:02:35,879 --> 00:02:37,053
Johnny Cold Stones.
64
00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:41,989
That's it!
65
00:02:42,023 --> 00:02:43,093
Yeah.
66
00:02:43,128 --> 00:02:44,164
I think we got it,
I think we got it.
67
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,199
All right.
68
00:02:45,234 --> 00:02:46,200
Hard!
69
00:02:46,235 --> 00:02:47,753
Holy crap, Jon!
70
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:51,412
Back-- gear!
71
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:52,689
That's a good guard...
72
00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:57,177
Jon! Good job, dude!That's how you curl!
73
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,558
USA bringing home the gold!
74
00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:02,768
America wins again.
[eagle screeches]
75
00:03:02,803 --> 00:03:03,769
[Jon]
For a first-timer,
76
00:03:03,804 --> 00:03:05,254
I killed it at curling.
77
00:03:05,288 --> 00:03:07,221
I gave Dean and Maria
my USA jacket
78
00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:09,050
as a thank you
for the great lesson.
79
00:03:09,085 --> 00:03:11,225
Curling!
80
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:12,502
Okay, so as you know,
81
00:03:12,537 --> 00:03:14,021
I can't bring cameras
inside my house,
82
00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:15,540
so I'm gonna
duck in real quick,
83
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:18,059
drop off my curling gear,
change, and head back
84
00:03:18,094 --> 00:03:19,337
to the production office
85
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:22,236
and sign up for some more
curling lessons.
86
00:03:22,271 --> 00:03:24,618
Hey, what's going on
out here?
87
00:03:24,652 --> 00:03:26,965
Hey, sweetie, um... we're
not bringing the cameras in,
88
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,450
I'm just dropping off
my curling stuff and, uh,
89
00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:30,693
then I'm gonna go
to the office, so...
90
00:03:30,727 --> 00:03:33,074
Oh, well, it's cold
out here, you guys.
91
00:03:33,109 --> 00:03:35,145
Why don't you come on in?
Huh?
92
00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:36,561
Really?Yeah!
93
00:03:36,595 --> 00:03:38,390
Actually, I've got a nice,
little surprise for you,
94
00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:39,564
and it'd be kind of fun
95
00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:42,222
for the crew to document it
for your show.
96
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,085
And you can even
unblur my face.
97
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,742
[bell dings]Seriously?
98
00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:47,606
Hi, Smokey.Hi, Leslie, nice to see you.
99
00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:50,230
All right, yeah.
Sounds good.
100
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,405
Come on in.Can't wait to see
what this is all about.
101
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,269
Whoa!
102
00:03:55,304 --> 00:03:57,754
What is goin' on here?
103
00:03:57,789 --> 00:04:01,413
Is it, is it Christmas
or Hanukah?
104
00:04:01,448 --> 00:04:02,794
No, what month
is this right now?
105
00:04:02,828 --> 00:04:06,591
Is it--
is it my birthday?
106
00:04:06,625 --> 00:04:08,627
So, what's the occasion?Nothin'.
107
00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:10,284
I just love my husband
108
00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:12,838
and I wanted to do
something nice for him.
109
00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:15,496
Sweetie, you're the best.Go ahead, open them.
110
00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:18,499
Yeah?Yeah!
111
00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:21,502
Oh, man, this is
so exciting.
112
00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:27,025
[gasps]
Whoa! Yes!
113
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,820
Oh, my God,
rock climbing shoes.
114
00:04:28,854 --> 00:04:30,304
These are awesome!
115
00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:32,444
Really?Yes, I always wanted to get
a pair of these.
116
00:04:32,479 --> 00:04:35,447
Let's keep going,
keep going, keep going.
117
00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:38,312
Yes! A fishing vest!
118
00:04:38,347 --> 00:04:40,314
Gear!Look at all these pockets.
119
00:04:40,349 --> 00:04:42,523
There's so many more
to go through.
120
00:04:42,558 --> 00:04:44,974
Motorcycle boots... yes! Gear!
121
00:04:45,008 --> 00:04:46,320
Oh, my God, yes.
122
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:47,770
Roll out my quads...Yeah.
123
00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:49,599
Especially I could've
used this after the marathon.
124
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:51,187
Ran the 'Thon!
125
00:04:51,221 --> 00:04:53,638
Oh, my God, to take
your eggs camping!
126
00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,329
Yeah! For all the times
we go camping.
127
00:04:55,364 --> 00:04:58,298
Oh! Yeah! Wow!
128
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,886
Oh! Yeah! Yeah!
Do the logo?
129
00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:03,199
More carabiners-- yes!
Score!
130
00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:05,201
Oh, look at that!Whoo!
131
00:05:05,235 --> 00:05:08,480
Oh, my God-- It's a solar light
on the bottle.
132
00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:10,033
...on the side of your helmet.Oh.
133
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:11,794
You can see behind you.
A field hockey stick--
134
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:13,865
these are so cool.Keep going.
135
00:05:13,899 --> 00:05:15,867
Taekwondo! Yah!
136
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:18,179
This [bleep]
is cool as hell!
137
00:05:18,214 --> 00:05:19,836
I know what this is!
138
00:05:19,871 --> 00:05:22,011
Grind it, dude!
139
00:05:22,045 --> 00:05:24,841
Yes! It's a ring-toss game--
where are the rings?
140
00:05:24,876 --> 00:05:26,256
Honestly, you can't have
too many bags.
141
00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,706
Pool noodles!
142
00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:29,674
These are good to have if
we ever go to someone's pool...
143
00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:32,504
'cause I feel like it's better
to bring your own pool noodles.
144
00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:36,025
Right.Oh, my God, I'm just like...
145
00:05:36,059 --> 00:05:39,856
tired from opening
everything.
146
00:05:39,891 --> 00:05:42,100
This is beyond
nice of you to do.
147
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:43,481
I mean, you're letting
the cameras back in
148
00:05:43,515 --> 00:05:46,863
and you're,
you're unblurring your face.
149
00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:49,383
What's going on? Like,
why... why'd you do this?
150
00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:52,075
Why'd you buy me
all this stuff?
151
00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:55,803
Oh... I didn't buy
any of this stuff.
152
00:05:58,737 --> 00:06:01,119
This is all stuff
that you bought,
153
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,673
and it's been
used maybe once,
154
00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:05,192
maybe twice
you've used it.
155
00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:08,402
Many times you've never
touched any of this stuff.
156
00:06:08,437 --> 00:06:09,576
And you know
where it goes?
157
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,785
It goes into our house,
and it goes into storage
158
00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:14,304
and it goes
into closets, right?
159
00:06:14,339 --> 00:06:19,862
And now... now you want
to try curling?
160
00:06:19,896 --> 00:06:21,898
You want to add
more stuff...
161
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:23,383
for something
that you're not
162
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,694
even going to follow
through with--
163
00:06:24,729 --> 00:06:25,902
and you know you're not
164
00:06:25,937 --> 00:06:28,733
going to follow through
with this "curling".
165
00:06:28,767 --> 00:06:33,565
And where is that rock
supposed to go?
166
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,533
I don't know.
167
00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:36,982
No.
168
00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:39,744
And also, it's not a rock,
it's called a stone,
169
00:06:39,778 --> 00:06:42,091
and there's only,
there's only two quarries
170
00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:44,542
in the whole world where
they get the granite...
171
00:06:44,576 --> 00:06:45,577
Get out!
172
00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:47,579
Get out! Everybody...
173
00:06:47,614 --> 00:06:49,167
I can't take it
anymore, get out!
174
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,651
Everybody out!
Get out of the house,
175
00:06:50,686 --> 00:06:52,584
take all the stuff out.
Smokey, I'm sorry,
176
00:06:52,619 --> 00:06:55,000
nice to see you again.You too, no problem.
177
00:06:55,035 --> 00:06:57,106
Get out--
everybody out!
178
00:06:57,140 --> 00:06:58,832
And blur my face again.[buzzer]
179
00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:09,843
Don't forget your $2,000
acoustic bass guitar
180
00:07:09,877 --> 00:07:12,639
that you never even
bothered to learn how to play.
181
00:07:12,673 --> 00:07:14,192
If you get help maybe
I'll let you come back
182
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:15,883
into the house,
all right?
183
00:07:18,161 --> 00:07:19,335
[Jon]
I couldn't believe
184
00:07:19,369 --> 00:07:21,130
my wife would kick me
out of the house.
185
00:07:21,164 --> 00:07:22,752
I had no idea where to go,
186
00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:24,685
and I couldn't leave
my gear on the street,
187
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,376
I had to take it with me.
188
00:07:26,411 --> 00:07:28,758
But could I carry
all my gear at once?
189
00:07:28,793 --> 00:07:32,382
My only hope was to wear
my gear, every last piece.
190
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:35,662
And finally, I was able
to do just that.
191
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:43,152
So I hit the streets
with all my gear.
192
00:07:43,186 --> 00:07:46,638
I had no place
to call home.
193
00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:49,330
Tell me I don't
use my gear.
194
00:07:49,365 --> 00:07:52,333
I use my gear plenty!
195
00:07:52,368 --> 00:07:55,509
So what if I use it once?
So what?
196
00:07:59,927 --> 00:08:03,137
Tell me I won't
learn to play this bass.
197
00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:04,553
I jam on this bass.
198
00:08:11,387 --> 00:08:13,009
Maybe my wife was right.
199
00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:17,082
Maybe something iswrong
with me and I am a hoarder.
200
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:20,672
No, she's wrong--
I just love gear.
201
00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:24,158
I love all the gear I've ever
bought, and loving gear is,
202
00:08:24,193 --> 00:08:26,540
in and of itself,
it's own activity.
203
00:08:26,575 --> 00:08:30,026
[softly]
It's own activity.
204
00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:31,925
Gear.
205
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:33,858
Gear...
206
00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:38,276
Gear'n... Gear-en...
207
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,692
Gearing, gearing--
gearing!
208
00:08:40,727 --> 00:08:43,108
Gearing! I couldn't
believe the concept
209
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:44,765
had never occurred
to me before.
210
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,423
Gear-i, look up
the word "gearing".
211
00:08:47,457 --> 00:08:51,876
I'm looking for the act of
wearing all your gear at once.
212
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:54,119
I'm not seeing that
definition anywhere.
213
00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:55,362
Well, that's bullshit!
214
00:08:55,396 --> 00:08:58,779
Come on, Gear-i!
Let's go right this wrong!
215
00:08:58,814 --> 00:09:00,263
Gear-ing!
216
00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:04,716
[Jon]
With the epiphany about gearing,
217
00:09:04,751 --> 00:09:06,925
I had discovered
a new life purpose.
218
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,617
But to make gearing legit
I would need
219
00:09:08,651 --> 00:09:10,411
to get it
into the dictionary.
220
00:09:10,446 --> 00:09:12,793
So I met with Katherine Martin
from Oxford Dictionary
221
00:09:12,828 --> 00:09:15,037
to find out how to
make that happen.
222
00:09:15,071 --> 00:09:17,626
Can I try to get
a new definition
223
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:20,111
for the word "gearing"
into the dictionary?
224
00:09:20,145 --> 00:09:22,113
What is the new meaning
that you are proposing?
225
00:09:22,147 --> 00:09:24,978
Gearing is the act of wearing
226
00:09:25,012 --> 00:09:28,498
and enjoying
one's gear all at once.
227
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:31,605
I'm certain that that is not
covered in the dictionary.
228
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,883
You would have to convince
lots of other people
229
00:09:33,918 --> 00:09:36,161
to use the word
so that it becomes--
230
00:09:36,196 --> 00:09:38,163
this becomes the real
meaning of gearing.
231
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:39,337
There needs to be
a decent chance
232
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:42,098
that someone could say
they were gearing
233
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,513
and another person
would understand
234
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:45,515
what they meant by it.
235
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:47,932
Get ready, gearing,
because your definition
236
00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:53,627
is about to get
re-de-fined.
237
00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:55,180
[chuckling]
238
00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:56,803
I had to make gearing
widely known
239
00:09:56,837 --> 00:09:58,667
before I could get it
into the dictionary,
240
00:09:58,701 --> 00:09:59,944
so I set up a booth
241
00:09:59,978 --> 00:10:02,015
on one of New York's
busiest street corners
242
00:10:02,049 --> 00:10:03,741
and started spreading
the word.
243
00:10:03,775 --> 00:10:05,432
Hi, there, would you
like to talk about gearing?
244
00:10:05,466 --> 00:10:07,365
Hi, there, would you like
to ask me about gearing?
245
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,022
Hi, got a sec to talk
about gearing?
246
00:10:09,056 --> 00:10:12,922
It was tough going at first,
but soon people took notice.
247
00:10:12,957 --> 00:10:14,372
What's gearing?What's gearing?
248
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,443
What is gearing?Gearing is the act of wearing
249
00:10:16,477 --> 00:10:18,445
all of your gear at once,
250
00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:19,860
and just enjoying it.
251
00:10:19,895 --> 00:10:22,276
It turned out a lot of people
were already gearing,
252
00:10:22,311 --> 00:10:23,864
even though they
didn't realize it.
253
00:10:23,899 --> 00:10:25,452
It can be 100 things
like me,
254
00:10:25,486 --> 00:10:27,557
it can be 20 things,
it can be five things.
255
00:10:27,592 --> 00:10:30,215
I got a lot of gear.I could tell, you look
like a gearhead.
256
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,459
You got your backpack, you got
your sweet lookin' watch--
257
00:10:32,493 --> 00:10:34,392
a pocket square,
it's all gear.
258
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,808
So I'm gearing right now.You're for sure gearing.
259
00:10:36,843 --> 00:10:38,672
I was feeling great
about how it went,
260
00:10:38,707 --> 00:10:41,054
so I hit the streets and grabbed
a quick cup of joe
261
00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:45,334
before hopping into a cab to go
pick up my daughter from school.
262
00:10:45,368 --> 00:10:47,163
How was school?Good.
263
00:10:47,198 --> 00:10:48,889
Yeah? That's good.
264
00:10:48,924 --> 00:10:52,479
Are you gonna ask me how
"gearing" was today?
265
00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:55,137
No! And I don't
understand what it is!
266
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:57,035
Sweetie, daddy's told you
so many times.
267
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,865
Gearing is when
someone who loves gear
268
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:02,731
takes all their gear and they
wear all that gear all at once.
269
00:11:02,765 --> 00:11:04,491
If you say so.
270
00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:06,044
I knew my family
would come around
271
00:11:06,079 --> 00:11:08,322
if they could just
understand gearing,
272
00:11:08,357 --> 00:11:10,359
so I invited my wife
to dinner to tell her
273
00:11:10,393 --> 00:11:13,603
about the important work
I'd been doing.
274
00:11:13,638 --> 00:11:15,536
Thank you very much and,
uh, can I interest you
275
00:11:15,571 --> 00:11:19,023
in a brochure, uh,
for gearing?
276
00:11:19,057 --> 00:11:20,749
Kind of explains
everything I'm doing here.
277
00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:21,922
You sure?
278
00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:23,406
Here, I'll leave it here
with the tip.
279
00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:24,718
It'll be right here
if you need it.
280
00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:27,169
Can I tell you, I love
eating with goalie gloves.
281
00:11:27,203 --> 00:11:29,067
Jon, I think I pushed you
too hard,
282
00:11:29,102 --> 00:11:30,620
making you throw out
all your gear and now,
283
00:11:30,655 --> 00:11:32,553
this is happening.
284
00:11:32,588 --> 00:11:34,901
Sweetie, do not feel bad
about that, okay?
285
00:11:34,935 --> 00:11:38,732
If you hadn't done that, I never
would've gotten to gearing.
286
00:11:38,767 --> 00:11:39,940
When gearing takes off
287
00:11:39,975 --> 00:11:42,080
and it becomes
this worldwide phenomenon
288
00:11:42,115 --> 00:11:44,255
and people all across
the globe start gearing
289
00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:46,913
and they start posting their
gearing videos to YouTube,
290
00:11:46,947 --> 00:11:49,122
and I start doing TED talks
all about gearing
291
00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:50,779
and they'll be like,
"How did you start gearing?
292
00:11:50,813 --> 00:11:52,608
"Where did gearing come from?
How'd you think of it?"
293
00:11:52,642 --> 00:11:55,473
I will absolutely
acknowledge every time
294
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,302
that it was
because of you.
295
00:11:57,337 --> 00:11:58,752
Kind of like
the same concept
296
00:11:58,787 --> 00:12:03,930
of behind every great gear
is a great woman.
297
00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:06,760
I want you to come
back home.
298
00:12:06,795 --> 00:12:08,935
I want the cameras
to come back in the house.
299
00:12:08,969 --> 00:12:10,868
And I'll unblur my face.
300
00:12:10,902 --> 00:12:12,559
Are you serious?
301
00:12:12,593 --> 00:12:17,322
If this is who you are,
then I need to support you.
302
00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:19,117
I mean, I'm stunned,
thank--
303
00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:24,122
Thank you-- come here,
this is... this is so great.
304
00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:25,745
Sweetie, the harmonica's
in the way.
305
00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:31,509
Yes!
306
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,063
Yes. Oh, good morning,
sweetie.
307
00:12:34,098 --> 00:12:35,409
Is this not the best?
308
00:12:35,444 --> 00:12:37,101
This is what I wanted
the show to be--
309
00:12:37,135 --> 00:12:39,344
just coming
downstairs in the morning,
310
00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:41,761
the cameras are in
my real house,
311
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:45,109
they're filming me and my
real family and my real wife,
312
00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:48,008
with her beautiful face
unblurred.
313
00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:49,182
Isn't this fun?
314
00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:50,700
It's not as bad
as I thought it would be.
315
00:12:50,735 --> 00:12:52,150
No, it's great.
316
00:12:52,185 --> 00:12:54,463
Guess we don't need the fake
family anymore, right?
317
00:12:54,497 --> 00:12:56,706
Home sweet home.Yeah, well, I'm just gonna go
318
00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:58,950
gearing, if that's cool.
319
00:12:58,985 --> 00:12:59,951
Yeah.Yeah.
320
00:12:59,986 --> 00:13:01,021
Have fun.
321
00:13:01,056 --> 00:13:03,058
Oxford dictionary,
here I come! Whoo!
322
00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:11,618
Hey, uh...
323
00:13:11,652 --> 00:13:13,378
You see my gearing pack?
324
00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:15,622
Yeah, it's outside.
325
00:13:15,656 --> 00:13:18,936
Oh, does it stink?
Good call, air it out.
326
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:21,283
Yeah, the same thing happened
with my hockey stuff.
327
00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:24,320
That stuff gets, like,
pee-yew!
328
00:13:24,355 --> 00:13:28,324
No! Hey! Wait!
Oh, my God! Wait!
329
00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:30,016
No!
330
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:33,122
Hey, stop, stop, please!
Stop!
331
00:13:33,157 --> 00:13:34,848
Stop!
332
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:37,506
Oh, my God!
No! Oh, my God.
333
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:41,165
Oh, no! No!
334
00:13:41,199 --> 00:13:42,856
Oh, shit!
335
00:13:42,891 --> 00:13:44,893
Oh, no, please, stop it!
336
00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:46,377
Ooh!
337
00:13:46,411 --> 00:13:48,275
[crunching]
338
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:53,625
[heaving]
339
00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:05,327
Why would you do this?
340
00:14:05,361 --> 00:14:06,604
You need help, Jon.
341
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:07,674
So, that's how you help me?
342
00:14:07,708 --> 00:14:09,883
You-- you throw away
my gearing outfit?
343
00:14:09,918 --> 00:14:11,885
Yes! What else
was I supposed to do?
344
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,578
Jon-- oh, my gosh, I knew you
wouldn't go to therapy, okay?
345
00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:16,994
And then I was like,
what do I do?
346
00:14:17,028 --> 00:14:18,271
I'll get your outfit
347
00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:20,721
that I can bring you
back home with, okay?
348
00:14:20,756 --> 00:14:23,034
And you know what?
Blur my face again, all right?
349
00:14:23,069 --> 00:14:24,415
[buzzer]Hold on a second.
350
00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:27,625
Whatever happened to
"with this gear, I thee wed"?
351
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:31,940
With this gear,
I thee wed.
352
00:14:31,974 --> 00:14:35,564
That's your language, Jon,
not Leslie's.
353
00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:37,117
What's going on here?
354
00:14:37,152 --> 00:14:38,636
Why is our therapist here?
355
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:40,258
I'm here
to help you, Jon.
356
00:14:40,293 --> 00:14:42,053
Me too.
357
00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:43,813
We're all here
to help you, Jon.
358
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:48,094
You need help, Jon.
359
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:51,580
What's going on here?
360
00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:53,099
We're having
a gear-tervention.
361
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:54,307
A gear-tervention?
362
00:14:54,341 --> 00:14:56,102
That's not even
in the dictionary!
363
00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:57,827
Leslie called me...
364
00:14:57,862 --> 00:15:00,140
and I helped her
organize it.
365
00:15:00,175 --> 00:15:01,762
We're your friends.
366
00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:03,626
Let us help you.
367
00:15:03,661 --> 00:15:05,939
I don't need help.
368
00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,976
I don't need anybody!
369
00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:12,014
Jon, wait!No, no, let him go, let him go.
370
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,915
We just need to let things
run their course.
371
00:15:21,368 --> 00:15:24,164
I'm not back, okay?
372
00:15:24,199 --> 00:15:26,580
It's cold out.
373
00:15:26,615 --> 00:15:29,583
I want to change out of
my slippers and into my boots.
374
00:15:29,618 --> 00:15:31,965
I'm going to take
my gear hat.
375
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:36,073
And I'm taking this because it
provides extra warmth.
376
00:15:36,107 --> 00:15:38,765
We know what ponchos do, Jon.Oh, yeah?
377
00:15:38,799 --> 00:15:41,009
Well, this one's from the New
York City Marathon!
378
00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:42,493
Ran the 'Thon!
379
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:45,806
They don't just give these
away-- you have to earn it!
380
00:15:45,841 --> 00:15:48,016
Yeah, I know, I got one
last year when I ran.
381
00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:49,534
Also ran the 'Thon!
382
00:15:49,569 --> 00:15:51,157
Then you know
how warm it is!
383
00:15:51,191 --> 00:15:54,125
Yeah, I do.
384
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,678
With these super cool pockets
on the side,
385
00:15:55,713 --> 00:15:57,991
I'll be really warm outside
when I'm in the cold,
386
00:15:58,026 --> 00:15:59,682
and I could be
out there as long as I want,
387
00:15:59,717 --> 00:16:02,685
which is gonna be
a long time!
388
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,515
Marathon runner,
running away!
389
00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:09,037
[Jon]
I can't believe all my friends
390
00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:11,142
and family would betray me
like that, Gear-i.
391
00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:13,455
And calling it
a "gear-tervention"?
392
00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:14,697
Give me a break.
393
00:16:14,732 --> 00:16:16,492
If I wasn't so mad
maybe I would've found
394
00:16:16,527 --> 00:16:18,184
it was a cool name, but I'm
really pissed off,
395
00:16:18,218 --> 00:16:19,530
I think it's stupid.
396
00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:20,841
I don't know, Jon.
397
00:16:20,876 --> 00:16:22,809
I think everyone
is just trying to help.
398
00:16:22,843 --> 00:16:24,017
If they were trying
to help me, Gear-i,
399
00:16:24,052 --> 00:16:25,846
they would've just
gotten me more gear.
400
00:16:25,881 --> 00:16:27,020
Or whatever, no big deal
401
00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:28,539
'cause now I got this
really cool excuse
402
00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:30,058
just to get
more sweet gear.
403
00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:32,474
I'm sorry, sir,
your card's been declined.
404
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:33,923
No, that's wrong,
try it again.
405
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,891
I tried it three times.
406
00:16:35,925 --> 00:16:37,030
Please just give me
one sec, please.
407
00:16:37,065 --> 00:16:38,135
Sure.All right, thank you.
408
00:16:38,169 --> 00:16:39,584
Gear-i, would you
call my wife, please?
409
00:16:39,619 --> 00:16:40,723
Yes, Jon.
410
00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:42,380
[call ringing through] Hello?
411
00:16:42,415 --> 00:16:43,899
Hey, what's up, babe?
412
00:16:43,933 --> 00:16:46,557
I'm at Paragon and I'm getting
us all some new gear,
413
00:16:46,591 --> 00:16:48,248
and they said
my card was declined.
414
00:16:48,283 --> 00:16:49,353
You know what's
going on with that?
415
00:16:49,387 --> 00:16:50,837
Of course it was.
416
00:16:50,871 --> 00:16:52,908
Do you think I'm stupid enough
to not cancel our cards
417
00:16:52,942 --> 00:16:54,599
so you can't buy more crap?
418
00:16:54,634 --> 00:16:56,877
You cancelled my card? Yeah, Jon.
419
00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:58,672
You can't do that![dial tone]
420
00:16:58,707 --> 00:16:59,949
Hello?
421
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:01,675
Hello?
422
00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:03,194
You guys do payment plans?No.
423
00:17:03,229 --> 00:17:04,713
I'm sorry, we don't do
payment plans.
424
00:17:04,747 --> 00:17:07,543
Can I trade you my, my running
poncho for all this stuff?
425
00:17:07,578 --> 00:17:08,958
We have to use
the credit card.
426
00:17:08,993 --> 00:17:11,927
Please, just this one time,
please, please!
427
00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:13,549
Could you just come here
for a second, please?
428
00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:15,068
You know IMDB?Yeah.
429
00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:16,518
That's me.Um...
430
00:17:16,552 --> 00:17:17,622
"Jon Glaser Loves Gear".
431
00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:19,728
I'm Jon Glaser,
that's the gear.
432
00:17:19,762 --> 00:17:23,870
TruTV will reimburse you
for everything times two.
433
00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:25,527
I need this gear!
434
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,219
I'm sorry, not today.Oh, God!
435
00:17:28,254 --> 00:17:30,325
[shivering]
Oh, God.
436
00:17:34,294 --> 00:17:36,365
Everywhere I went
I saw gear.
437
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,437
But I couldn't have it,
not even a little taste.
438
00:17:39,472 --> 00:17:40,818
I had to do something.
439
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:43,993
Everyone else could
have gear, why not me?
440
00:17:44,028 --> 00:17:46,720
I wanted gear,
I needed gear,
441
00:17:46,755 --> 00:17:48,446
and I would do anything
to get some gear.
442
00:17:50,828 --> 00:17:52,968
Hey, man, I like your coat.Thanks, man.
443
00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:54,314
It's cool, man.Thanks.
444
00:17:54,349 --> 00:17:57,110
Is that flannel?It's wool.
445
00:17:57,145 --> 00:17:58,284
It's wool?Wool, yeah.
446
00:17:58,318 --> 00:18:00,079
Oh, I got one like that,
447
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,460
but mine has a different collar.
You see, like, the fur ones?
448
00:18:02,495 --> 00:18:04,083
You know what I'm talking about,
where, like,
449
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,154
the collar part's fur?Yeah, yeah.
450
00:18:06,188 --> 00:18:09,812
I like the pockets on that.Thanks, man.
451
00:18:09,847 --> 00:18:11,297
Does it have
a pocket right here?
452
00:18:11,331 --> 00:18:12,401
Yeah, dude.Look at this, look at
this pocket.
453
00:18:12,436 --> 00:18:14,507
Yeah, man...Oh, sorry,
454
00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:15,646
I just wanted
to try the pocket.
455
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,096
Yeah, it's cool.I like, I like
456
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,959
a hand pocket, yeah.
457
00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:21,410
Hey, man,
I'll hook you up.
458
00:18:21,445 --> 00:18:23,792
I'll suck your [bleep] if you
let me try it on me?
459
00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:25,000
Seriously?Please? Please?
460
00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:26,898
Just...
461
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:39,152
♪Hey!
462
00:18:39,187 --> 00:18:41,361
It's cool, man-- no, no, no, no,
I'm just checking out,
463
00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:42,466
I'm just
checking out the bag.
464
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,501
Is that your bag?It's not my bag
465
00:18:43,536 --> 00:18:44,709
but I'm just looking at it.
466
00:18:44,744 --> 00:18:46,366
You see it's got
a little bag on the side?
467
00:18:46,401 --> 00:18:48,610
You see it's got a little bag?All right!
468
00:18:48,644 --> 00:18:49,956
Please, let me
look at his gear!
469
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:51,164
Stop moving!Just let me look at his--
470
00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,165
where's the gear?
I want to see it!
471
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,546
Stop resisting.All I want to do
472
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,996
is look at gear-- why can't
you let me do that?
473
00:18:56,031 --> 00:18:58,171
That's all I...
474
00:18:58,206 --> 00:19:00,380
You see that bag?
It's cool, right?
475
00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:02,141
Look at how cool that is?Real cool.
476
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,039
You see there's a little bag
on the big bag!
477
00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:06,352
And the little bag
comes off!
478
00:19:06,386 --> 00:19:08,664
You could take
the little bag off.
479
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,908
You guys got cool gear.
Is that a bodycam?
480
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,047
Cool shots!
481
00:19:12,081 --> 00:19:14,567
[hard rock music]
482
00:19:14,601 --> 00:19:16,879
[gates rattling]
483
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:18,709
Pretty cool gear, right?
484
00:19:18,743 --> 00:19:20,089
My hat-- how sweet
is this thing?
485
00:19:20,124 --> 00:19:21,712
This is, like,
totally my style.
486
00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:24,197
Whenever I get out of here I'm
gonna ask if I could keep it.
487
00:19:24,232 --> 00:19:26,199
[whispering]
Ooh, check this out, man.
488
00:19:26,234 --> 00:19:27,511
Some of the guys in here,
489
00:19:27,545 --> 00:19:29,858
they showed me how to make
a shiv out of my toothbrush--
490
00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:31,480
check that out.
491
00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:34,725
Isn't that cool?
492
00:19:34,759 --> 00:19:35,898
So, what, my own wife
didn't want to come
493
00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:38,384
visit her hubsy in lockup?
Is that it?
494
00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:40,213
She's still upset, Jon.
495
00:19:40,248 --> 00:19:42,526
I mean,
I can't blame her.
496
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,563
Part of her didn't even
want to post bail.
497
00:19:45,598 --> 00:19:47,255
She thinks that maybe
you staying in here
498
00:19:47,289 --> 00:19:50,016
for a little while
might do some good,
499
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,225
and I can't disagree.
500
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,089
But the fact of
the matter is,
501
00:19:54,123 --> 00:19:57,092
is you'll probably
get killed within a week.
502
00:19:57,126 --> 00:19:59,232
Maybe even if you were tough
enough to hold your own in here,
503
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:01,234
which you're not, and it's
not even close,
504
00:20:01,269 --> 00:20:02,270
don't even think about it--
505
00:20:02,304 --> 00:20:03,512
I ran the marathon, Steve.
506
00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:05,031
Ran the 'Thon!
507
00:20:05,065 --> 00:20:07,516
It's not even close.
508
00:20:07,551 --> 00:20:08,690
It's funny
when you think about
509
00:20:08,724 --> 00:20:10,588
how this season has unfolded,
you know?
510
00:20:10,623 --> 00:20:12,107
Like, started off,
511
00:20:12,141 --> 00:20:13,971
you were trying to survive
out in the woods,
512
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:17,146
now here's me, trying to
survive in prison.
513
00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:19,114
It's pre-- it's pretty funny,
isn't it?
514
00:20:19,148 --> 00:20:21,081
[laughs]
515
00:20:23,187 --> 00:20:25,154
Look, Jon...
516
00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:27,433
Leslie'll take you back.
517
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:30,263
If I go back to her and tell
her you're a changed man,
518
00:20:30,298 --> 00:20:32,645
which I will, but you
have to convince me first.
519
00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:35,544
Spurt, I promise,
I will never, ever
520
00:20:35,579 --> 00:20:38,375
bring home extra gear
that I do not need--
521
00:20:38,409 --> 00:20:41,619
only if it is absolutely
just super cool
522
00:20:41,654 --> 00:20:44,277
and if I can find a place for it
and if I can't find a place,
523
00:20:44,312 --> 00:20:46,762
I'll take something out
and I'll put that in, right?
524
00:20:46,797 --> 00:20:49,765
It's...
525
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,148
All right, all right.
No, no more gear.
526
00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:55,495
No extra gear, no more gear.
I-- I'm good.
527
00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:58,015
Just get me out
of here, man, please?
528
00:20:58,049 --> 00:20:59,913
Please?
529
00:20:59,948 --> 00:21:02,571
[whispering]
I'll suck your [bleep], man.
530
00:21:02,606 --> 00:21:04,642
You screw up one more time
you're on your own.
531
00:21:04,677 --> 00:21:07,645
I promise, I-- I'm gear--
I'm good.
532
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,991
And no more marathon talk.
533
00:21:09,026 --> 00:21:10,545
No more 'Thon.
534
00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:15,343
Okay, okay.
535
00:21:15,377 --> 00:21:17,137
I'll see you soon.All right.
536
00:21:17,172 --> 00:21:19,312
I did run it,
it's impressive.
537
00:21:23,454 --> 00:21:25,214
[no sound]
538
00:21:28,356 --> 00:21:30,116
So, it's been a week.
539
00:21:30,150 --> 00:21:31,807
How are things at home?
540
00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:34,120
It's been a little strange.
541
00:21:34,154 --> 00:21:37,779
Jon hasn't been his usual
manipulative, annoying self
542
00:21:37,813 --> 00:21:39,332
that I fell in love with.
543
00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:40,782
Don't get me wrong,
I mean,
544
00:21:40,816 --> 00:21:43,129
neither is the guy
who hoarded gear,
545
00:21:43,163 --> 00:21:47,823
but I at least loved
that Jon's passion for life,
546
00:21:47,858 --> 00:21:50,032
which I now realize was
just a passion for gear,
547
00:21:50,067 --> 00:21:52,690
but I loved
that exuberance.
548
00:21:52,725 --> 00:21:54,174
It was never my intention
549
00:21:54,209 --> 00:21:56,522
that Jon would miss his gear
so much that he would end up
550
00:21:56,556 --> 00:21:58,869
on the streets offering
to suck a stranger's [bleep]
551
00:21:58,903 --> 00:22:00,905
and stealing a backpack.
552
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:03,494
So, is there anything you'd
like to say to him now?
553
00:22:03,529 --> 00:22:04,530
You had mentioned to me
554
00:22:04,564 --> 00:22:07,671
there was something
you wanted to give him.
555
00:22:07,705 --> 00:22:10,190
Jon, I'm not saying
that you can go out
556
00:22:10,225 --> 00:22:12,503
and buy a bunch of
new gear--
557
00:22:12,538 --> 00:22:17,025
that has to be done
in moderation, but...
558
00:22:17,059 --> 00:22:18,923
I can't believe I'm going
to say this,
559
00:22:18,958 --> 00:22:21,754
I want the old Jon back.
560
00:22:21,788 --> 00:22:25,378
I want the Jon
that loves gear back.
561
00:22:25,413 --> 00:22:29,382
And I-- I, um,
and I promise you...
562
00:22:29,417 --> 00:22:33,110
this is not a prank
like last time, but...
563
00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:36,078
♪
564
00:22:43,638 --> 00:22:47,262
[gasping]
565
00:22:47,296 --> 00:22:50,127
Gear!A jai alai cesta.
566
00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:52,060
Sweetie, thank you so much.
567
00:22:55,304 --> 00:23:00,171
Gear...!
568
00:23:03,071 --> 00:23:05,418
Jon, come on,
we're gonna be late.
569
00:23:05,453 --> 00:23:07,731
Just grabbing my helmet,
hold on.
570
00:23:07,765 --> 00:23:10,112
All right, Broadway
here we come.
571
00:23:10,147 --> 00:23:12,287
Ready for a night
on the town.
572
00:23:12,321 --> 00:23:13,737
Someone call GQ, right?
573
00:23:13,771 --> 00:23:14,807
Are you really
gonna wear that?
574
00:23:14,841 --> 00:23:16,395
We're going to see
a Broadway show.
575
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:17,568
Please, Jon,
don't make me regret
576
00:23:17,603 --> 00:23:19,328
letting the cameras
come back in.
577
00:23:19,363 --> 00:23:21,917
All right, there is nothing
on the theater's website
578
00:23:21,952 --> 00:23:23,574
that says no jai alai
outfits.
579
00:23:23,609 --> 00:23:25,231
Why would there be?Regardless,
580
00:23:25,265 --> 00:23:28,959
I think I look totally
acceptable for a theater.
581
00:23:28,993 --> 00:23:32,238
My shirt is tucked in,
I have a very elegant sash,
582
00:23:32,272 --> 00:23:35,137
I have white shoes-- I think
I look very presentable.
583
00:23:35,172 --> 00:23:37,001
I'm talking about
that thing on your hand.
584
00:23:37,036 --> 00:23:38,658
Why do you even need
to wear it?
585
00:23:38,693 --> 00:23:40,488
Because it's part of
the outfit, that's why,
586
00:23:40,522 --> 00:23:43,111
and it's not a thing,
it is a cesta,
587
00:23:43,145 --> 00:23:44,423
and you should know that
588
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:47,564
because you're the one
who bought it for me.
589
00:23:47,598 --> 00:23:48,910
Okay, come on,
let's just go.
590
00:23:48,944 --> 00:23:50,463
How much do you want to bet
that I don't look
591
00:23:50,498 --> 00:23:52,465
like the biggest idiot
at the theater tonight?
592
00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:54,294
A million billion dollars.
593
00:23:54,329 --> 00:23:56,296
Whatever, fine, let's just go.Okay.
594
00:23:56,331 --> 00:23:58,160
I'll get the door
because I am a gentleman.
595
00:23:58,195 --> 00:24:00,300
Allow me.
596
00:24:02,820 --> 00:24:04,201
Come on, Jon,
we're gonna be late.
597
00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:05,444
I got-- I practiced
this morning
598
00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:08,274
and I got it on
the first try, just...
599
00:24:08,308 --> 00:24:10,207
Okay, Jon, I'm sorry,
I can't wait any longer,
600
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:12,347
let's go, come on.
601
00:24:12,381 --> 00:24:13,486
All right,
just give me a sec,
602
00:24:13,521 --> 00:24:15,315
I want to turn
the alarm on, okay?
603
00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:17,145
Aren't you gonna
wear a jacket?
604
00:24:17,179 --> 00:24:19,941
No, I want people to see
the whole outfit.Ugh.
605
00:24:19,975 --> 00:24:21,494
Oh, shit, I set off the alarm![alarm blaring]
606
00:24:21,529 --> 00:24:24,014
What's the disarm code?My birthday!
607
00:24:24,048 --> 00:24:26,637
[mumbling]
608
00:24:26,672 --> 00:24:28,639
August 13th?Seriously?
609
00:24:28,674 --> 00:24:29,813
Ah, shit.
610
00:24:29,847 --> 00:24:31,470
The police'll come
and turn it off.
611
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:32,885
Let's go!
Oh, [bleep].
44633
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
