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1
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,344
(Jon Glaser)
"Jon Glaser Loves Gear" is
basically gonna be
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00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,845
a show that explores
3
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,548
my genuine passion
for all things gear.
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00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,584
You know, we're gonna be
talking about things like,
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00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:18,219
for example,
this rain hat.
6
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,089
You know, it's got cool
details on it, like,
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00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,723
the short brim
is pretty cool.
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00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:23,857
You know,
and when you put it on
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00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,593
it's got the really
good earflaps.
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00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,027
It cinches in the back.
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00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,362
These are just all
the kind of things
12
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,198
that we all kind of
nerd out about
13
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,032
when we're obsessing on
whatever activity we like.
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,768
And, of course, I will be
joined by my good friend
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00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,405
and fellow gear lover,
Steve Cirbus,
16
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,873
who will be serving
as my gear expert,
17
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,211
or "spurt" for short.
18
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,379
Yeah, I'd like to do something
where we'd go on a hunt,
19
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,381
and maybe I kill
a deer with my
20
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,284
Bowtech Carbon
Icon compound bow.
21
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,086
Oh, take your shirt off when
you're talking about that, dude,
22
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,387
show off the goods!
Should I?
23
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,388
You don't have to.
24
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,456
No, he wants to,
it's all right,
25
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:56,957
check this out.
Look at that, nice, right?
26
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,059
We're gonna see this
body every episode.
27
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,562
(imitating "Sesame Street" song)
* Like, one, two, three,
four five six... abs! *
28
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,630
Right?
29
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,166
So, that's the
show, um...
30
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,067
We good to go?
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00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,402
I like it.
Let's do it.
32
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,070
Yeah!
33
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,174
*
34
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,422
Gear!
35
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,094
What is up?
36
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,830
Welcome to the first episode
of "Jon Glaser Loves Gear".
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00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,099
Me and Steve,
we're just hanging out here
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00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,669
at the "Jon Glaser Loves Gear"
production office.
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00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:44,138
Today's episode, "Camping".
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00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,039
Me and my spurt, we are gonna
kick off the season
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00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,108
with a sweet, little
two-day camping trip.
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00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,944
Now, before we do that, I would
like to introduce another
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00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,847
integral part of the
"Jon Glaser Loves Gear" team.
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00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,016
A lot of people with your
phones, you have Siri,
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00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:59,553
well, my phone comes equipped
with something called Geary.
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00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:03,357
Now, Geary is just like Siri,
but it's specifically for gear.
47
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,492
Let me show you
how it works.
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00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:05,726
(phone dings)
Hello, Jon.
49
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,127
How may I help you?
50
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,163
Steve and I are going to be
going on a camping trip,
51
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,899
two days, what are
your gear suggestions?
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00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,467
That sounds like fun.
53
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,869
The forecast calls for
mid-70s during the day,
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00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,038
dropping down to
upper 50s at night.
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00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,341
I'd recommend two
two-person tents.
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00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,475
Yes.
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00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,244
Three-way,
non-glaring lantern.
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00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:24,545
Good call.
Okay, yeah.
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00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,347
USB wood burning stove.
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00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,681
(both)
Good call.
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00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:28,682
Foldable camping chairs.
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00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,850
(both)
Good call.
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00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,419
Lightweight Gore-Tex
hiking boots.
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00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:32,486
(both)
Good call.
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00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,154
GPS watch with altimeter.
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00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,223
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
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00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,324
Call of the day.
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00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,325
Yeah.
(loud smack)
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00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,759
And collapsible
walking sticks
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00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:39,827
with aluminum shafts.
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00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,161
I'm gonna say
yes to those.
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00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,231
I just want those,
they're cool.
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00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,898
All right, well,
thanks very much, Geary.
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00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,734
Rock solid gear
suggestions.
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00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,337
Let's go camping!
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00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,572
Gear!
77
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,841
(Jon)
Me and my spurt headed over to
one of our favorite stores,
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00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:57,077
Tent & Trails, to gear up
for the camping trip.
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00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,913
*
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00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,615
That is a pretty
good sized sleeping bag.
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00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,617
(Jon)
Now, Jamie, if you want,
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00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,519
you're free to take your
shoes off and come on in.
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00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,187
That's a no.
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00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,258
Gear!
85
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,960
Yeah, I've been showing my wife
this one online a ton,
86
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,028
and she's like, "Oh, yeah,
you totally gotta get it."
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00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,532
Gear!
88
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,901
What if you put, like, a voice
chip inside the boot,
89
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,135
so every step
you're like...
90
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,438
(whooshing)
91
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,473
Or you could do one
where it's like...
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00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,708
Ow! Ow!
93
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,377
Or like a macho-like,
"Yeah!"
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00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,378
Ow!
95
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,145
(whooshing)
Yeah!
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00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,549
Gear!
97
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,952
(rattling)
98
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,921
Oh, Paul Rudd did
a PSA for camping.
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00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,090
He's going on a massive,
massive hike, clearly.
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00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,658
First of all,
cotton pants?
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00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,159
You know what I call
cotton in the woods?
102
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,895
What?
Death cloth.
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00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:48,929
Death cloth?
Yeah, dude.
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00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,230
As soon as it gets wet,
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00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,666
there's no insulation
whatsoever.
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00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:53,967
This, right here--
It'd be a good metal band,
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00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,303
Death Cloth.
Death Cloth.
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00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,237
(vocalizing heavy metal)
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00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,408
* Wore the wrong material
110
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,609
Yeah, this is sweet.
111
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,143
That looks sharp.
Now, I have a question.
112
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,746
Let's say we're doing
a couple's camping trip,
113
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,415
and I think my wife and I are
gonna break off for a hike,
114
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:08,916
and let's just say
we come across
115
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,752
some beautiful landscape and
I'm so overtaken by emotions
116
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:15,523
that I start crying, would this
jacket bead the tears
117
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,158
like it would a raindrop?
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00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,428
Gear!
119
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,997
Let's get all that up there,
thanks a lot, spurt.
120
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,833
Geary, check out all
the sweet stuff we got.
121
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,435
Great choices, Jon.
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00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:30,771
Steve, I just want to say that
you have a really amazing body.
123
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,374
Would you ever consider a
relationship with a machine,
124
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,175
like in the movie "Her"?
125
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,810
Only in this case,
the machine is a guy?
126
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,446
Right, give it
a rest, Geary.
127
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:41,515
I don't even know how you're
even attracted to humans anyway.
128
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,517
Geary Fonzarelli has always
been open minded
129
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,952
and bi-curious.
130
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,154
I'm sorry, did you say your
last name is Fonzarelli?
131
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,456
Yes, that's right.
132
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,391
Like the Fonz?
133
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,125
I'm sorry,
who's the Fonz?
134
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,161
Whatever, Geary.
135
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,797
Sorry, Steve.
That's cool.
136
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,866
Gear!
137
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:02,002
*
138
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,672
* Hey!
139
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,240
(whispering)
Okay, time to give my wife
the good news.
140
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,478
Let's do it-- go.
141
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:11,979
(knocking)
Knock-knock, babe.
142
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,381
Check it out!
What?
143
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,982
This can only mean one thing.
Jon!
144
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,650
The show's picked up!
145
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,051
* Banana-nana-na
146
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,319
* The show's picked up
147
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,320
* Banana-nana-na
148
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,655
Whoo!
(Leslie)
Jon.
149
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,591
Here's what's going on,
get you up to speed.
150
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,325
Episode one, "Camping".
151
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,428
Me and you,
Steve and Amy,
152
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:30,330
weekend camping excursion,
no kids,
153
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,165
just the couples,
just adults.
154
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,002
I just loaded up with some
really kick-ass camping gear...
155
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:38,071
Jon--
...including this
kick-ass GPS watch.
156
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,707
Pretty sure Paul Rudd
wears one.
157
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,008
Jon.
It's from Garmin.
158
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,576
I'm really happy your
show's picked up,
159
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,012
but we've talked about this,
like, so many times.
160
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,014
I really don't want
to be on camera,
161
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,516
it makes me feel
uncomfortable.
162
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:50,684
Sweetie, I told you, we're gonna
blur your face out in post.
163
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:51,785
No one's gonna
know it's you.
164
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:52,853
We talked about this.
165
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,522
Yeah, we did
talk about this,
166
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:58,225
and I made it crystal clear that
I don't want to be on camera.
167
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,561
Why do you even need
a camera crew here
168
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,963
if the show is about
how much you love gear?
169
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,466
Because I have a wife that I
love and I love coming home and,
170
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,801
and showing you all my gear
and sharing the experience.
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00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,302
Oh, brother.
172
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,971
Like, look at this kick-ass
GoPro I got in my backpack.
173
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,072
Pretty cool, right?
174
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,240
Why do you even
need that?
175
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,241
It's for gettin'
cool shots!
176
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,877
*
177
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,713
And also, look, I got this
GPS watch-- check this out.
178
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,882
This thing has an altimeter.
An altimeter, I know, Jon,
179
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,884
because you've showed to me
a hundred times online,
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00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,218
and I told you then
and I'll tell you now,
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00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,320
it's too much
watch for you.
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00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,922
You never even
go camping.
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00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,091
Now all of a sudden you
need to have a $500 watch
184
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,060
with an altimeter?
No, I don't need the watch,
185
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:36,564
but the show is not called
"Jon Glaser Needs Gear".
186
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,566
Oh.
It's called "Jon Glaser
Loves Gear,"
187
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,667
and I love this watch.
188
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,068
Wow, truly.
189
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,571
Sweetie, listen, I know
that I can be annoying...
190
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:44,738
Thank you.
...when I talk about gear.
191
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,906
Stop right there
and then walk out.
192
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,608
Okay, but when you
are married to someone
193
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,276
and you love that person...
Oh, okay.
194
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,579
Part of that is you indulge in
the annoying things about them.
195
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:52,913
Oh, come on, please.
196
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,315
Like, I love you and I indulge
the annoying things
197
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:59,987
that you like to talk about,
like your shoes and bags.
198
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,522
My shoes and bags.
199
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,924
Yes.
200
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:08,496
Like, my gear?
201
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,097
Not the same
thing at all.
202
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,599
It's exactly--
Not even close to being--
203
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,601
It couldn't be closer.
No-- gear is cool shit.
204
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,635
No, it isn't.
Gear is like,
205
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,003
oh, look at these cool
cycling goggles,
206
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,505
and this cool watch,
okay, that's gear.
207
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,808
Give me a break.
Gear is not like tampons
and gum in a purse.
208
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,643
Oh, my God!
Okay, that's not gear.
209
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,144
You are a class act.
Gear's putting stuff
210
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:27,347
in a cool bag, a cool,
waterproof bag...
Shoot for the stars...
211
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,682
with a GoPro on it.
...you're a real gentleman.
212
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,283
You know what you
should call your show?
213
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,353
You should call your show, "Jon
Glaser Loves to be An Asshole".
214
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,955
Everyone, out, get out.
215
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,158
*
216
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,293
(footsteps walking away)
Unbelievable.
217
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,632
(Jon)
Since my real wife
does not want to be on camera,
218
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:47,134
and since I'm an amazing,
respectful husband,
219
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:51,004
I decided to hold auditions
and cast an actress to play her.
220
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,806
You ready to try one?
Yeah, sure.
221
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:56,476
All right, I'm gonna read
with you, and, uh, here we go.
222
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,146
Hey, babe, how sweet
is this watch?
223
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,548
Pretty cool, right?
Check this out.
224
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:01,582
It's got a ton
of features.
225
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:02,816
It's even got
an altimeter.
226
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,353
(gasps)
What a cool piece of gear.
227
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,757
(Icelandic accent)
It's definitely not
too much watch.
228
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:12,259
You deserve such
a nice watch.
229
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,828
You're such a great
father and a husband.
230
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,497
You work so hard
to support us.
231
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,733
I love that you love
gear so much,
232
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:24,772
and I'm happy to talk about gear
with you whenever you want.
233
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:27,340
Talking about gear
is making me wet.
234
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,577
Put on that headlamp
and get inside me.
235
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,017
Uh, wow.
236
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,018
Yeah?
237
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:42,590
Uh, yeah.
(chuckling)
238
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,524
(Jon)
America, for the sake
of this TV show,
239
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:48,095
say hello to
Mr. and Mrs. Jon Glaser.
240
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,863
Gear!
241
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:54,101
(Jon)
The inaugural "Jon Glaser
Loves Gear" camping trip
242
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,803
was off to a great start.
243
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,537
So while this thing was
cooking our food
244
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,140
it was also
charging my phone.
245
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,109
How cool is that, right?
Really cool.
246
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,443
How you doing
down there, Geary?
247
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,278
I think I'm too close
to the fire.
248
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,747
(laughing)
249
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:07,781
Funny as hell,
Geary.
250
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,116
I wasn't kidding.
251
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:12,452
Then, of course, kick-back
in your sweet chair... boom.
252
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:15,288
Got a little swivel.
253
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,323
Not bad, right?
254
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,457
What the hell?
What?
255
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,792
Why didn't we get
swivel chairs?
256
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,227
Here's the best part--
end of the day,
257
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,630
you got some
tired dogs,
258
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:26,566
kick off your shoes,
take off your sock,
259
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,803
reach in your pack--
boom, look at that.
260
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,673
Teeny, tiny, takes up
no room in your pack,
261
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:36,309
almost nothing at all,
super light...
262
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,911
instant foot massage.
263
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,814
That's pretty cool, but, I find
that there's no substitute
264
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,316
for the human thumb,
you know?
265
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,152
Takes up even less
space in your pack
266
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:48,255
and it's way
more efficient.
267
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,090
May I?
268
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,925
Sure.
269
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,193
Put her up there.
270
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,862
How about that
sweet boot, man?
271
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,029
Keens.
Yeah.
272
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,665
Pretty solid.
Very sweet.
273
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,366
Super lightweight,
rugged, durable.
274
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,468
I like the,
the powder blue.
275
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,003
Pretty cool sock, right?
276
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,638
That's a tick sock,
underneath.
277
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:05,939
Oh, good one.
278
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,275
Keep them little dudes away,
man, right?
279
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,777
Yeah.
280
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,178
Yeah.
281
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:15,482
See, I prefer the feel
of skin on skin.
282
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,685
(sighing)
Don't forget about me, mister.
283
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,452
Well, throw her up there.
284
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,521
I could do two.
285
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,657
Hey, all right,
okay, spurt.
286
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,393
I think I can-- I think I can
rub my own wife's foot.
287
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,961
Come on over here, babe.
288
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,163
That's all right, I don't care.
No, no, I got it, spurt.
289
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:33,466
Sweetie, come on.
(laughing)
290
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,069
Yeah, they called me
Dr. Hands in college.
291
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,372
'Cause I knew what
to do with my hands...
292
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:43,210
on a woman's body.
293
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,046
The doctor is in, huh, hon?
Mmm.
294
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:50,851
(slapping)
295
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:51,885
Look at this, right?
296
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:55,422
(flicking)
297
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,060
Does that feel
good, babe?
298
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:03,563
Yeah, it all
feels good.
299
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,332
Oh, man, look at that.
300
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,901
I'm noticing now, just like
the way they designed this
301
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,036
is so cool, man.
302
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,570
It's got these two
pieces of elastic
303
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,406
right around the border of
where you put your can in
304
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,742
so it hugs the can.
305
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,209
Yeah, I mean,
if there's an earthquake,
306
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,711
these plates are gonna go,
but the cans are gonna stay
307
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,112
in there pretty good.
308
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,580
Look at that, that drink's
not going anywhere.
309
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,915
Nice and secure.
310
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,283
(chuckling)
311
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,588
(crickets chirping,
owl hooting)
312
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,958
(whispering)
Oh, my God, this is awesome.
313
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,262
Okay, Jon.
Sorry, what's up?
314
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:40,300
Um... I'm really not
comfortable with that.
315
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,270
What's that?
I mean, the sleeping situation.
316
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,105
I thought I would
have my own tent.
317
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:48,608
Oh... I see.
318
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:51,711
Well, I just figured it was
implied that we'd be, you know,
319
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,781
in the same tent just 'cause
you're playing my wife
320
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,615
and we're getting the shots.
321
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,451
Yeah, no, I'm really
not comfortable.
322
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,988
Okay, no, no, I,
I totally get it.
323
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:03,590
I want this to feel like
a professional job for you.
324
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:07,294
You're still an actress
and, you know, apologies.
325
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,729
So you'd rather I'm not...
326
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,331
Are you cool if I sleep
on top of the bed?
327
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,833
No.
328
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,168
Well, I totally
get it, um...
329
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,470
You know, I want you
to be comfortable
330
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,640
as an actress, and a woman,
first and foremost.
331
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,676
You know, I respect my wife's
decision to not be on camera
332
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,513
and I respect your
decision to not wanna be
333
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:29,149
in the sleeping bag with me,
I totally get it.
334
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:32,485
You know, I'm like, the biggest
feminist there is.
335
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,155
You can ask
anyone that knows me.
336
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,324
You can ask my wife,
you can ask my daughter.
337
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,459
You can ask my teachers,
you can ask my mommy,
338
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:43,030
you know, they're all gonna tell
you, "Jon... respects women."
339
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,998
Yeah.
How about this?
340
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,534
I'll sleep on this
side of the tent,
341
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,768
I'll be right over here.
342
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,004
We'll consider the
lantern the border.
343
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,806
And you won't come over.
No.
344
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,607
I will sleep
right over here.
345
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,976
Okay.
346
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,012
I've got some
pretty sweet gear.
347
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,047
Check this out.
348
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,049
This is actually
a running tight.
349
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,885
They're really warm
but also very breathable,
350
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,186
so I won't overheat.
351
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,555
Check out these booties,
these are awesome.
352
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,458
It almost looks like candy
apple red, do you remember that?
353
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,393
"Corvette Summer"
with Mark Hammill?
354
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,695
This jacket is really great,
got this for the trip.
355
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:21,334
(whispering)
Okay, I'll just tell you about
it while you fall asleep.
356
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,036
I can cinch up the hood
really good.
357
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,838
It looks really good, too,
it's a cool color.
358
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,974
All right, I'm gonna turn
the light out now, okay?
359
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,842
I love you.
360
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,677
That was just
a character, okay?
361
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:34,681
(sighing)
362
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,319
(crickets chirping,
owl hooting)
363
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:55,768
(Steve and women moaning)
364
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,076
(softly)
Gear.
365
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,777
(moaning louder)
366
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:07,614
My sister had a friend
367
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:10,884
who was named after
an Icelandic volcano.
368
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,419
Hey!
369
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,387
Mornin', sleepy head.
370
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,056
Hey, you were right about
this chair, brother.
371
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,591
This swivel makes
all the difference.
372
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:19,592
And by the way,
I hope you don't mind
373
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,428
I made a real fire
this morning.
374
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:23,363
Is that cool?
375
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,764
Thanks again, ladies,
for getting the kindling.
376
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,199
(Amy)
No problem.
377
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,601
Nothing like a little morning
wood every once in a while.
378
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,104
(all laughing)
379
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,272
(Steve)
Ho ho ho!
380
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,580
Morning, honey.
381
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,949
(kiss)
382
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,584
Jon, did you know that
Eva is from Iceland?
383
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,119
Where, again?
384
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,754
Uh... Reykjavik.
385
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,589
Reykjavik.
Reykjavik.
386
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:53,460
I like how you say that.
Ah, excuse me.
387
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:57,130
Um, I would just like
to remind everyone,
388
00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:01,301
including Eva, that Eva
is playing my wife
389
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:04,271
who is from Texas,
not Iceland.
390
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:07,907
So she doesn't speak in an
Icelandic accent anymore, okay?
391
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,642
She doesn't say "Reykjavik".
392
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,479
As far as we're concerned,
Eva from Iceland is whatever,
393
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,748
is a cartoon character
in a TV show...
394
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,417
that you could buy at the dollar
store and give it to your kids
395
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,818
and they'll yell,
"Yeah, this is so fun,"
396
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,320
and they throw it away.
397
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,688
Okay, I don't know
who Eva from Iceland is.
398
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,491
That's my wife Leslie
that I'm looking at.
399
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,826
It's not Leslie Glaser,
400
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,796
um, she didn't want
to take my last name,
401
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,331
which I was 100% fine with.
402
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:34,134
I'm not, I'm not a dick
about that kind of shit.
403
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,036
She didn't want to
convert to Judaism,
404
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,038
although she did wanna put
a mezuzah on our door.
405
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,974
She's more religious than I am,
if anything.
406
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:43,977
But, uh, it does remind me
of a funny joke.
407
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,346
So this guy buys
a Lamborghini, right?
408
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,982
And he's a Jewish guy and he
wants to put a mezuzah
409
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,817
on the car 'cause he thinks,
oh, such a beautiful car...
410
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,885
So he seeks counsel, he goes
to an orthodox rabbi...
411
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,854
The orthodox rabbi says,
"What's a Lamborghini?"
412
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:57,024
The guy says, "Oh, it's an
Italian sports car..."
413
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,458
And the rabbi says,
"Not appropriate
414
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,193
to put a mezuzah
on this car."
415
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,862
So he goes to see a conservative
rabbi, explains the story...
416
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,531
Rabbi says, "What's a
Lamborghini?"
417
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,366
...on the car, I think I could
put a mezuzah on it.
418
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,567
The rabbi says no.
419
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,202
He goes to see
a reformed rabbi
420
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:12,539
and the reformed rabbi says,
"What's a mezuzah?"
421
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,874
(laughing)
422
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,010
Pretty funny, right?
423
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,879
Anyway, you guys need to refer
to her as Leslie,
424
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:25,718
because we are trying to
maintain a certain reality here,
425
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:29,322
for my reality show about how
much I love gear,
426
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:32,492
including my chair
that someone is sitting in.
427
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,665
So, from here on out, if we
could just keep that in mind,
428
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,333
please, thank you.
429
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,835
All right, so, uh...
430
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,704
Hey, good morning,
here we go!
431
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:45,905
I'm psyched!
432
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,207
I hope you guys haven't
eaten breakfast
433
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,742
because I've got some
de-licious organic eggs
434
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,544
from the farmer's market,
and, uh,
435
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,080
some good sausages.
436
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,115
Yeah, you know what, I think
we've had plenty of sausage
437
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,216
already this morning.
438
00:16:56,216 --> 00:17:00,353
(snorting laughter)
439
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,456
Okay, you know what,
I'm going for a walk.
440
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,725
Do you want me
to go with you?
441
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,927
No.
442
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:08,961
Come on, Jon.
443
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:11,964
No, you come on,
Jon, spurt!
444
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:15,535
I just want to be alone
with my gear.
445
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,637
Oh... ow, (bleep).
446
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:18,938
Want me to help you
with that?
447
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:22,109
No, I don't need help,
I know what I'm doing.
448
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,710
See?
449
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,777
Oh, shit.
450
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,147
*
451
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,448
(Jon)
I was really excited to try out
452
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:33,286
some of my sweet,
new camping gear.
453
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,755
These cool walking sticks took
my mind off the fact
454
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,724
that three out of four people
on this camping trip
455
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,792
were (bleep) all night.
456
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:43,096
(squeaking)
457
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,465
The fine craftsmanship of this
Audubon bird call
458
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,634
distracted me from
the searing humiliation
459
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:53,072
and emasculation of being
left out of a sex orgy.
460
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,275
These cool, tiny binoculars
allowed me to not only
461
00:17:55,275 --> 00:18:00,580
get a close-up view of a
Eurasian Wryneck...
462
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,982
but also a bird's-eye view
of three people (bleep)
463
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:06,486
inside a Geertop
Double Layer 2 Person Tent.
464
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,688
(Steve)
Ho ho ho!
465
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,190
And for the last
mile of the hike,
466
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,759
the compact size and lightweight
materials of this
467
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,028
tent stake mallet allowed me
to fully focus on my rage.
468
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,165
(screaming)
469
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,110
(phone dings)
Hello, Jon.
470
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,612
How's the camping
trip going?
471
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,448
Steve (bleep) my wife, that's
how the camping trip is!
472
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,684
You mean the Icelandic actress
portraying your wife.
473
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,051
Same diff, Geary!
474
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:43,456
Sorry, Jon, I was just
trying to help.
475
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,693
Geary...
476
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:47,794
Would you read
the lyrics to
477
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,197
"Hey Jealousy"
by the Gin Blossoms?
478
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,531
Of course.
479
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,732
And you can trust me
not to think
480
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,534
and not to
sleep around.
481
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,868
All right, that's enough.
482
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,370
Never mind, Geary,
thank you.
483
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,372
I hate to see
you so sad.
484
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,474
For the record, I would
never do that to you
485
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,875
if I were your spurt.
486
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,577
Although if you really
think about it,
487
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:08,915
I kind of already
am your spurt.
488
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,217
Yeah, you know what?
489
00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:12,219
That's true,
you are, Geary.
490
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:17,390
To be honest, I never really
thought you needed Steve.
491
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,658
You might be
right, Geary.
492
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,927
I know I'm right, Jon.
493
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:23,830
Let's head back
to camp, Geary.
494
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,064
Oh (bleep).
495
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:33,340
Extend and draw back
to your anchor point,
496
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:37,043
line up that top pin with
what you wanna shoot,
497
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:38,711
and release.
498
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,780
Hey, bull's-eye!
499
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,582
(chuckling)
500
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,217
That looks like fun.
501
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,219
Boy, it sure is beautiful
out there in nature.
502
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,921
I saw some really
great stuff.
503
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:49,922
Hey, spurt.
504
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,391
You know what,
I was thinkin',
505
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,125
let's actually
go hunt deer.
506
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,194
That sounds fun, we'll do it
with your crossbow.
507
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,796
It's a compound bow--
Whatever.
508
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,197
Yeah, you know, I was
out on my hike
509
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,099
and I just got really tuned
in to nature and I thought,
510
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,635
this would be
a great segment.
511
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,804
Great.
Yeah, great,
'cause I suggested it.
512
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:05,905
Right.
513
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,574
Not now, Tim.
514
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,944
What we're doing is,
we're really getting
515
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,080
inside the psychology
of the animal.
516
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,282
Yeah.
517
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:17,550
Is he scared?
Probably.
518
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,252
The track tells us
everything.
519
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,053
Sure, all right, yeah,
you want to follow the track.
520
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:25,425
And right here, here's a perfect
example of a deer compression.
521
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,093
If you'll come over here,
you'll see the oval
522
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,929
and the two halves of
the hooves-- check it out,
523
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,097
it's perfect, come here.
Yeah, I'll check it out.
524
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,102
Jon, what are you doing?
525
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,274
Jon, you...
526
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,442
You're not holding
it right.
527
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:43,943
What?
528
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,846
You don't hold it like that,
you need to hold it vertical.
529
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,915
Like this?
No, that's horizontal as well,
530
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,950
just upside-down,
vertical.
531
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,019
The limbs-- two limbs
have to be just like that.
532
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,455
Oh, cool, yeah, oh,
that's, oh, cool, man.
533
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,623
And it's a
right-handed bow.
534
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,858
You need to switch
your hands.
535
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,793
And don't grip
the string like--
536
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:04,431
Jon, just put
the bow down.
537
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:08,034
McMahon didn't (bleep)
Carson's wife!
538
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:12,171
Shaffer didn't (bleep)
Letterman's wife.
539
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:17,844
Andy Richter didn't
(bleep) Conan's--
540
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:19,446
Hold on a second.
541
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:23,215
(phone dings)
542
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:25,051
Geary, dial Andy Richter.
543
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:28,788
Dialing Andy Richter.
544
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:29,822
(Andy on phone)
Hey, Jon, how you doin'?
545
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:31,057
Hey, man, what's up?
546
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:32,659
Not much,
just hangin' at work.
547
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:33,660
What are you up to?
548
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:34,994
Just hanging too, man.
549
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,663
How's LA?
Good.
550
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:38,064
Yeah, about to
grab some lunch.
551
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:39,366
Oh, nice,
what are you gettin'?
552
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,233
I was thinkin'
I might do Mexican.
553
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:42,869
Oh, Mexican,
nice, man.
554
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:44,404
What's your go-to meal?
555
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,473
I was thinking about doing
a chile relleno.
556
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:47,874
Oh, nice.
557
00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:50,477
Dude, if you're going chile
relleno, get the guac.
558
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:51,711
Oh, you like it
with guac?
559
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,079
Trust me, man,
it's so good.
560
00:21:53,079 --> 00:21:54,714
It's a real nice
combo of flavors.
561
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:55,815
Hey, real quick--
562
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:56,916
You ever (bleep)
Conan's wife?
563
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,017
What? No!
564
00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,151
All right, I didn't
think so, thanks.
565
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,520
(phone beeps)
566
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,490
Jon, you are blowing this
way out of proportion, man.
567
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:08,728
I mean, it's not like I screwed
your real life wife.
568
00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:09,829
Dude, if you can't
get past this,
569
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:11,764
this is going to be
a long shoot.
570
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:14,934
A long shoot-- we have
ten more weeks, Jon.
571
00:22:17,203 --> 00:22:22,409
(breathing deeply)
572
00:22:22,409 --> 00:22:24,276
You're right, you're right,
you're right.
573
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:27,279
Thank you.
574
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:29,382
You're fired.
575
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:30,717
What?
576
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:34,120
Hand over
the uniform, spurt.
577
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,623
Or should
I say Steve?
578
00:22:36,623 --> 00:22:39,792
Because you're not
my spurt anymore.
579
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,394
Thanks a lot, Jon.
580
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:42,762
Just don't (bleep)
my wife next time.
581
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:44,263
She's not your real wife,
dickhead!
582
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,772
(sighs)
Wow.
583
00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:55,575
One, two, three, four,
five, six abs.
584
00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:57,243
God damn it.
585
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:02,314
I'm also taking you out
of the opening credits.
586
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,783
And I'm keeping this bow,
587
00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:06,719
and I look (bleep)
cool with it, man, yeah!
588
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:17,096
(birds chirping)
589
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,264
(knocking)
590
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,170
Oh, my--
Jon, seriously.
591
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:25,672
Just hear me out,
hear me out, hold on.
592
00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:27,406
Are you kidding me?
I am sorry.
593
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,476
The other day, when I came
in here with these guys,
594
00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:34,681
that was 100% wrong, and I
wanna make it up to you.
595
00:23:34,681 --> 00:23:37,349
Kept warm and dry in case
it rained, in my pocket,
596
00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:41,087
two tickets to the hottest
show in town, "Hamilton".
597
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,322
Oh, my--
oh, thank you!
598
00:23:43,322 --> 00:23:44,957
Oh, my-- Jon!
599
00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:47,359
I was feeling so
under-appreciated
600
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:48,861
and like,
I was the bad guy...
601
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,362
(phone vibrates)
Jon, I'm sorry to interrupt...
602
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:51,531
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
...but you have to
see something.
603
00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:53,365
Uh, not now, Geary.
What's going on?
604
00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:54,501
Not a good time.
605
00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:56,435
You have to check out
the news.
606
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:57,604
Oh, my God.
607
00:23:57,604 --> 00:24:00,139
* Wore the wrong material
608
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:01,808
(Leslie)
What is it?
609
00:24:01,808 --> 00:24:03,109
Paul Rudd is dead.
610
00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:04,176
Oh, that's sad.
611
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:06,546
It says he died camping.
612
00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:10,049
Oh, man, I don't think
I can go out tonight.
613
00:24:10,049 --> 00:24:11,818
Oh, my God.
614
00:24:11,818 --> 00:24:13,319
Good-bye, Jon.
615
00:24:15,822 --> 00:24:18,224
Oh, my God, this-- I mean,
he was so good in "Ant-Man,"
616
00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:19,559
wasn't he, Geary?
617
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:22,461
Yes, as well as "Neon Joe"
and "Delocated".
618
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:25,732
(sobbing)
619
00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:32,905
(bell dings)
620
00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:34,306
Yeah!
621
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,408
I love when gear performs
like it's supposed to!
622
00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:37,677
Ge...
45227
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