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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:05,137 Hey, Greg. Hold on a second. 2 00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:07,572 Hey. What's going on? Hello. Welcome to Hell. 3 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:09,641 Got any debit cards? 4 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:13,378 We are about to release the sequel to "Fried Alive" 5 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,214 for you, our fans, which means more blood, 6 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:17,749 more boobs, more batter. 7 00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:20,819 So, batter up for an extra crispy good time. 8 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,321 We only need $400,000 9 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,191 and put a fork in it -- our financing's done. 10 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,693 At the $5 level, our tater tot level, 11 00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:31,696 you get a exclusive e-mail updates from... 12 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:35,100 That's a cool collection. 13 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,836 Thank you, yeah. Y-You see my Italian poster? 14 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,937 It's super rare. 15 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,505 It's "Il Fritto Vivo!" 16 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,841 I'm talking about the credit cards, you idiot. 17 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,276 You been swiping wallets off the noobs 18 00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,610 coming down the chute, so you can do what, 19 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,446 start your own Planet Hollywood down here? 20 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,414 Nothing so prestigious as that. 21 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,551 If I give $75, I can be an executive producer 22 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,053 on the new "Fried Alive." They're making a new one?! 23 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,588 Oh, that franchise hasn't been right 24 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,090 since they went to space. 25 00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,858 Yeah, "Freeze Dried Alive." [ Chuckling ] Well -- Yes! 26 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,194 Do you remember when he tried to fry 27 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,862 Saturn's rings?! Fry Saturn's rings! 28 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,264 Why was NASA sending a fry chef, 29 00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:09,201 who was a murderer, into space? 30 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,369 Oh, let me watch this pitch here. Let's see. 31 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,638 Then you can make "Fried Alive 11: 32 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:15,974 Hail to the Chef" a reality. 33 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,543 Rudy, the root of all evil, is back. 34 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,879 And now he's head chef at the White House. 35 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,615 So when the president, the cabinet, and all of Congress 36 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,284 mysteriously get deep fried to death, 37 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,954 Rudy is sworn in as Commander in Chief. 38 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,589 With Rudy's finger on the button, 39 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,159 global conflicts are about to get extra crispy. 40 00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,594 Rudy cannot speak! 41 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,063 How is he supposed to talk about legislature?! 42 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,166 I-I know! How is he supposed to do fireside chats? 43 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,068 The formula for "Fried Alive" is simple -- 44 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,402 all you need is Rudy, a deep fryer, 45 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,670 and a chick with big tits. 46 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,739 It's a hero's journey into the fryer. 47 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,908 We could write the next "Fried Alive." We definitely should. 48 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,510 We are are gonna write the next "Fried Alive." 49 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,111 We're not actually going to. No, we're going to do it. 50 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,579 Why can't we write it? Gary, come on. 51 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,749 You and me. Anton McDuffy owns the rights. 52 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,685 Sequel-- 53 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,187 How did you do that? Yeah. 54 00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:04,089 He uploaded that video, like, a week ago. 55 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,991 Who's writing the next "Fried Alive" now?! 56 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,192 You and-- 57 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:08,927 [ Both laugh ] 58 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,562 [ Both groaning ] 59 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,034 ♪♪ 60 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:19,437 [ Engine turns off ] 61 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,972 [ Sighs ] 62 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,174 [ Truck door closes ] 63 00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:23,942 [ Wolf howls in distance ] 64 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,277 [ Thunder rumbles ] 65 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,280 Welcome to day one of the writer's retreat. 66 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,116 Home, sweet home, huh? 67 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,286 Get comfy, and then we're gonna write the new "Fried Alive." 68 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,987 Revived and refried. 69 00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:38,623 Troy's getting the party started. Do we have any limes? 70 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,325 There's a lime tree down in the basement. 71 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,661 I'll be right back. 72 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:51,636 ♪♪ 73 00:02:51,671 --> 00:03:00,645 ♪♪ 74 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,681 [ Maniacal laughter ] 75 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,183 You know, when Gary and I hatched this crazy idea 76 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,818 to write a "Fried Alive" script, 77 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,554 we decided we wanted to do something fresh and original, 78 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,257 but with that classic Rudy feel. 79 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,992 So, uh...put your thinking caps on, 80 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,527 just start throwing ideas as us. 81 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,362 See, as long as all the ideas take place 82 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,197 with Rudy having access to a fryer 83 00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:21,166 so all of the action of the film 84 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,500 happens inside of a diner. 85 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,103 Okay, I think it could be, maybe, scarier 86 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,738 if he, like, could leave the diner, 87 00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,073 get out of his element, 88 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,342 and, like, see if he could get people-- 89 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,509 I think... No. 90 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,079 No. Uh, Rudy lives in the diner. 91 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:37,182 He lives behind the fryer. And who are you? 92 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,517 I'm Ashley, and I will say, Satan, 93 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,753 even though women are 50% of the population, 94 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:46,591 I am thrilled to be one-sixth of this writers' room. 95 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,693 I have never met you before. Well, technically, 96 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,428 you're one-seventh of the writers' room. 97 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:51,896 Don't forget about Johnny. 98 00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:54,566 [ Humming tune ] 99 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,201 What's going on there, Johnny? 100 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,603 I'm writing the theme music in my mind -- 101 00:03:58,638 --> 00:03:59,804 theme music. 102 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,873 [ Resumes humming ] 103 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,109 [ Grunts ] 104 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,210 [ Screams ] 105 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,812 [ Grunting ] 106 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,714 [ Screaming in distance ] Let's go check that out! 107 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,316 Come on. Yeah. We probably should. 108 00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,617 Satan: Troy?! Troy? 109 00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:13,885 [ Screams ] What's wrong? 110 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,220 Oh, something grabbed me! 111 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,555 With hands like -- like two fried catfish 112 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,591 and long crispy fingers! No, no. 113 00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,727 Troy, Troy! Relax, relax. 114 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,964 I'm sure it's nothing. 115 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,633 [ Cats meow ] 116 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:31,636 [ Chuckling ] Oh. It's just my 50 cats. 117 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,439 Yeah, I feed them these fish sticks. 118 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,474 You probably thought those were fingers. 119 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:39,444 -Ew! -[ Laughter ] 120 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,446 That's what it was probably, I guess. 121 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:46,685 What if Rudy eats a raw camper in his sleeping bag 122 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,620 like a sushi roll? Rudy's not some kind of, 123 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,288 like, travel blog, like foodie, 124 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,757 raw food-to-table kind of guy, okay? 125 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,260 He fries people like carnival food, so... 126 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,828 Claude: Okay. I have a pitch. 127 00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,997 So, everybody knows that all these movies 128 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,732 are totally lame and hacky. 129 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:04,703 So we do the behind the scenes of a making of a "Fried Alive," 130 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:08,306 but Rudy starts killing the cast and crew. 131 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:11,109 See, and we intercut them dying 132 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,610 with the movie they're making. 133 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,447 But we're -- we are making a "Fried Alive" movie. 134 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,650 And we'd be making a movie about fictitious people 135 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,885 making a movie. Other people making a "Fried Alive" movie. 136 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,055 Yes. So we're gonna hire a whole other production company 137 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,523 to make another movie. 138 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:27,625 No, we're gonna hire one production company 139 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,661 to make it look like there's another 140 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,730 production company making a movie. 141 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:32,964 It's meta, Gary. 142 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:37,369 Oh, well, I never meta idea I liked less. 143 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,805 Other ideas, please. 144 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,174 What if Rudy dies, okay, 145 00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,377 and has a sister who carries on his name? 146 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:46,845 A female reboot. I like it. I like it. 147 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,246 No. No. Write it down, write it down. 148 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,647 No. No. Yes. Yes, down. 149 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,015 Write it. I will not. 150 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,751 He's an only child. Right, I never watched it-- 151 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,253 He was raised alone in a vat of fetuses 152 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,856 by the evil Nazi Dr. Melchior. 153 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,491 How far are we gonna soften him? 154 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,625 Why don't we do a thing where he goes, 155 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:01,726 and he moves to the suburbs 156 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,828 and he meets the lovely Tara Reid, 157 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,730 and they -- and he gets an office job. 158 00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,265 And he has two or three kids. 159 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,566 Um, I mean that -- that could work. 160 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:09,601 That might humanize him. 161 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:12,737 You cannot humanize... 162 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:17,575 something that wasn't human to begin with. 163 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:19,577 We're making some kind of, oh... 164 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,846 "Sisterhood of the Traveling Rudy Pants." 165 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,416 "How Rudy Got His Groove Back." 166 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,851 We making one of those? 167 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,687 He fries heads, bodies, and titties, 168 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,457 and he eats them -- end of story. 169 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,526 Then why in the hell are we brainstorming? 170 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,860 We're trying to come up with different ways 171 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,297 for him to trick busty coeds into the fryer. 172 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:42,434 Who's Rudy? 173 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:43,735 Satan: I think we're gonna call it a day. 174 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,470 We -- We made a lot of progress, 175 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,272 and we're gonna go right back at it tomorrow. 176 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,040 ♪♪ 177 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,208 [ Gurgling ] 178 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:54,546 ♪♪ 179 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,282 Eddie: This water is thick. 180 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,217 And yellow. 181 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:08,159 ♪♪ 182 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,661 Do you mind, Ashley? 183 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:13,565 Oh. I am... so sorry. 184 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,966 Leave the shower on. 185 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,068 I'm gonna go in there once I'm done grunting this out. 186 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,970 Okay. Yes, okay. 187 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:23,107 [ Rumbling ] 188 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:26,311 [ Rumbling intensifies ] 189 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,779 [ Screams ] 190 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,281 [ Cats meow ] 191 00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:33,117 Ahh! 192 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:36,087 [ Engine whirring ] 193 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,990 [ Water bubbles rapidly ] 194 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:43,795 [ Pipes rumble ] 195 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,697 [ Gasping ] 196 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,266 Corn meal? That's not normal? 197 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,767 Rudy's back! 198 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:50,935 It's Rudy! 199 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,370 Is the -- um... Is the shower free? 200 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,505 Are you done? No! 201 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,440 The shower's shooting corn meal. 202 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,509 It's probably just the pipes settling. 203 00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,277 [ Screaming in distance ] 204 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,780 Eddie?! [ Gasps ] 205 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,650 If he can fry us this far away from the diner, 206 00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:08,019 then he can do anything! 207 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,121 I'm very sorry, Ashley. You are correct. 208 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,624 It's much scarier if he can leave the diner. 209 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,193 Everybody get back inside, get a weapon. 210 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,728 Move, now. 211 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,029 All right. 212 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,464 He's prepping us. 213 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,799 One by one, he's prepping us. 214 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,302 All of our brainstorming here in the cabin has stirred up 215 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,639 some -- some psychic residue that has created a real Rudy. 216 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,007 Oh, yeah, is that how it works? Yeah. 217 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,577 Guy, you see all these spigots pointing inward? 218 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,046 They're dripping canola oil. 219 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,881 Look. It's metal wiring. 220 00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,150 It's kind of like a -- like a fry basket. 221 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,986 The house is a fryer! It's a deep fryer! 222 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,555 All right, listen, the only way to beat him 223 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,323 is if we all stick together. 224 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,724 But I'm gonna go upstairs. 225 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:50,929 He has locked us in here to lock in our flavors. 226 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,231 He wants to get through our golden crust 227 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,732 to our moist middles. 228 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,668 You haven't watched the entire franchise. 229 00:08:56,703 --> 00:09:00,338 You don't know what he's capable of, man! 230 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,240 [ Rumbling ] [ All screaming ] 231 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,742 Rudy's coming to get us through the fireplace! 232 00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:05,944 Oh! 233 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,580 [ Rumbling ] 234 00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:14,586 [ Cats meow ] 235 00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,854 How many cats does this guy have? 236 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,791 [ Growling ] 237 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,292 ♪♪ 238 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,461 Get your stuff. 239 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,463 Just stand here. 240 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,365 [ Knocking ] 241 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,233 Come on. 242 00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:30,368 [ Grunting ] 243 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,370 Yeah. [ Laughing ] 244 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,540 All right, look. Here's the deal. 245 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,208 Satan's doing this whole thing 246 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,077 where we're in a movie, and we're getting chased around. 247 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,546 It's the meta thing, basically, that I pitched. 248 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,081 I don't know if Gary's in on it or not, 249 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,215 'cause he might not be 250 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,050 mentally capable enough to pull it off. 251 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,720 So, if you want to be running around all night 252 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,922 being part of the charade, that's fine, but I'm out. 253 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,457 So, um... 254 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:56,094 see you guys on Monday. 255 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,228 [ Gunshot ] 256 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,496 [ Body thuds ] 257 00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,965 Troy: Wait. We can do that? 258 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,738 Ugh. There's only one bullet in this. 259 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,907 Come on, come on. Come on, come on. 260 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,743 So you guys gotta tighten up here, come on. 261 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,578 Stop screwing around. Ashley: Okay, yeah. 262 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,979 [ Gunshot ] 263 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,015 Troy, Ash-- It's Rudy! Rudy's coming! 264 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,018 No, it's Rudy! Aw, damn it. 265 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,285 I'm sorry, Rudy. 266 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,453 [ Groans ] 267 00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,089 Claude ruins... everything. 268 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,358 [ Keyboard clacking ] 269 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:32,196 [ Sighs loudly ] 270 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:35,299 [ Slurping ] 271 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,701 Morning, Gary. 272 00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:40,605 So relieved to see you escaped Rudy's clutches. 273 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,306 Yeah, I mean, honestly, I think this time, 274 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:43,541 we got Rudy for good. 275 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,043 You're being sarcastic. 276 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,545 'Cause being in a horror movie is a solid torture. 277 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,047 Come on, I knew the second we pulled up 278 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,481 to the cabin that something was up. 279 00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:51,849 Yeah, Gary, it was pretty predictable. 280 00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,951 Who are you? Yeah, it was a fail. 281 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,688 I'm shutting it down. No, no, no, no! 282 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,222 We already got the cabin built. 283 00:10:58,257 --> 00:10:59,557 We'll just run it again -- 284 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,860 dumber people, fewer clues. 285 00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:07,031 Here we are. Day one of the writer's retreat. 286 00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:10,468 Let me guess, the whole cabin is a fryer? 287 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,502 Yeah, it is. 288 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,037 I'll see you guys Monday. 289 00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,572 [ Gunshot ] 20823

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