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1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,169
Gary: Troy,
did you unplug my monitor?
2
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,638
Troy: I'm sorry.
I did it -- with my foot.
3
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,573
I'm sorry.
Oh! Oh!
4
00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:09,908
Ow! God!
5
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,576
Oh!
6
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:12,644
Thank you, Percy.
7
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,645
[ Percy squeaks ]
8
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,714
Oh, holy shit.
9
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,249
This is really nice.
10
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,718
[ Glass shatters ]
Look at this.
11
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:25,057
[ Fetuses cooing ]
12
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,559
Giddyap, horsy.
Come on!
13
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,528
Hey, guys.
Gary!
14
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,529
Look what I got!
15
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,931
It's noisy paper.
16
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,067
[ Chuckles ]
17
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:40,005
[ Laughter ]
[ Wrap popping ]
18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:44,009
[ Laughter in distance ]
19
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,078
[ Popping continues ]
20
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,579
Whoo!
Gary!
21
00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:51,016
Some of us are trying to work,
and the sound is insane!
22
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,517
So, please,
take it away from them.
23
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,386
You want me to take away
the only pleasure
24
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,221
they've ever had
in their never-lived lives?
25
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,023
Yeah --
No, I will not do it.
26
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,591
-Yay!
-Whoo-hoo!
27
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,526
Then I will, 'cause
I have authority
28
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:05,130
over anything that's over
negative six months old, okay?!
29
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,531
Fully formed people
are trying to work.
30
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,567
Take your hands off
our bubble wrap!
31
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,703
Aagh!
32
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,105
It's fine.
33
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,706
Oh.
Whoa!
34
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,708
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just put the gun down.
35
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,076
I don't know
how you got it.
36
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:20,579
Okay, I understand
that he's a doodie-head --
37
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,881
Aah!
38
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,449
[ Grunts ]
39
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:26,051
I got shot!
40
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,054
♪♪
41
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,956
So, apparently,
that blob of hamburger meat
42
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,457
got this gun
at a gun show down here.
43
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,259
Since when do we have gun shows?
They don't like to be
44
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,261
called hamburger meat, Claude.
They're accidents.
45
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,163
Why don't you just
hit the undo button on them?
46
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,631
They have souls, too, Claude.
They have nowhere to go.
47
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:42,400
They were never born,
so they were never baptized.
48
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,069
Nobody wants 'em.
Yeah, I don't want them,
49
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,504
especially next
to my cube.
50
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,072
I mean, the world is better off
without them.
51
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,740
There's actually a really
interesting passage
52
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,175
in "Freakonomics"
that you should --
Yeah, hold that.
53
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,244
Hey, Gary, buddy.
How you doing?
54
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,512
I hustled down
as soon as I heard.
55
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,813
[ Groans ] It's been
three months.
56
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,114
You have my thoughts
and prayers.
57
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:57,616
Heard you got shot
in the dick.
58
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,418
I got shot in the hip.
I understand.
59
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:01,853
It's embarrassing to say
you got shot in the dick,
60
00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:03,088
so you're saying "hip."
61
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,756
It's okay,
but you might want to change
62
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,258
the dressing
on your "hip,"
63
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:09,327
because it's bleeding
into your dick.
64
00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:10,762
I've been degraded enough.
Hey, listen.
65
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,764
I just wanted to tell you,
I am taking steps
66
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,200
to ensure that something
like this never happens again.
67
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,469
Hell is going to be a safer
place for all eternity.
68
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:19,171
Stay strong --
Gary strong!
69
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:20,772
We're making bracelets
for you.
You are?
70
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,641
No, I hate you,
you [bleep] piece of shit.
71
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,009
Satan: All right.
Keep it moving.
72
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:26,144
Single file.
One gun apiece.
73
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,280
Remember, the only thing
that stops a bad guy with a gun
74
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,881
is a good guy with a gun --
That's it.
75
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:33,151
So, everybody just gets a gun,
even the presidential assassins?
76
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:34,619
Yes.
Even the school shooters?
77
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,155
Yes, absolutely.
The undiagnosed schizophrenics?
78
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,490
The terrorists?
Definitely.
All those guys.
79
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:40,358
Idi Amin and the Nazis?
Yes, of course.
80
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,861
And Harpo or Zeppo
or whoever the [bleep] this is?
81
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,829
Yeah.
The skinheads?
82
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:45,964
This guy gets a gun.
83
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:46,965
This guy.
This man!
84
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,133
He's a wizard.
85
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,734
Hey, Troy.
Hey, how you doing.
86
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:50,969
No, no, no.
What?
87
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,204
Not these dicks.
88
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,872
Oh, definitely
these dicks.
No.
89
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,474
Do you have the guns to make
the bullets go fast,
90
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,343
like -- like pap,
pap, pap, pap?!
91
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,846
Of course I do!
It's an AR-15 with a bump stock.
92
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,215
Knock yourself out.
93
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,482
How are they even gonna
shoot that thing?
94
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,684
Their fingers are
stuck together.
95
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:06,985
They can't even
pull the trigger.
96
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,653
My brain has hemispheres.
97
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,990
Who are you to tell me
I don't get to have a gun?!
98
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,160
One gun for Gary Bunda.
99
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,995
Make it loaded.
100
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,496
You, of all people,
101
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,665
you haven't learned
one lesson about guns?
102
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,033
Give me a goddamn gun!
103
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,736
'Cause if I had a gun that day
when Rainbow Pie shot me,
104
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,504
I would have shot that gun
out of his hands,
105
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,074
and I wouldn't be here right now
like this.
106
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:38,550
♪♪
107
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,452
This is so wrong.
No one's forcing you.
108
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,120
If you don't want a gun,
you don't have to have one.
109
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,622
I don't need a gun.
110
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,191
I'm just saying,
what is to prevent
111
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,192
some lunatic just
from coming--
112
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,027
whoa!
Shane, knock it off!
113
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,596
[ Gunfire ]
114
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,865
All right, everybody grab a gun,
protect yourselves.
115
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,033
Hurry up.
116
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,501
[ Gunfire ]
117
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,706
[ Martial music plays ]
118
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:05,410
♪♪
119
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,745
Diiiiiie!
120
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,114
♪♪
121
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,715
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
122
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,916
♪♪
123
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,552
Perfect.
124
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,421
I will shot you in the --
in the --
125
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:19,091
in the dick, Rainbow Pie.
126
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,396
Diarrhea's a pretty bold
roast today.
127
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,664
[ Door creaks ]
128
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:29,501
Well, looky here, Dr. Ashby.
We meet again!
129
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:30,902
We -- We don't know
each other, sir.
130
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,239
Not so big without
your vacuum tube, are you?
131
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,808
Please, I'm merely
an obstetrician.
132
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,911
I'm down here for
fondling my patients,
133
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:40,979
that's all.
134
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,248
And I'm
a Cabbage Patch Kid.
135
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,117
Ah, ah, ah! Hands where
I can see 'em, Ashby.
136
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:48,787
In nine weeks,
we develop a conscience.
137
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:51,256
So, you're looking
at my head circumference
138
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,091
and wondering...
139
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,594
"Is he eight weeks,
or is he nine?"
140
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,462
[ Pistol cocks ]
141
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:01,366
Well, do you feel lucky,
punk?!
142
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,335
See ya, Claude.
143
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,603
Ow! Agh! Ow.
144
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,938
I told you,
145
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:11,276
less face and less groin,
yet you keep going there.
146
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,945
And I tell you,
I'll do what I want to do.
147
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,448
Well, you see this?
148
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:20,685
You're gonna do less face
and less groin,
149
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,854
and you're gonna
do it now.
150
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,390
I'll do as much face
151
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,059
and as much groin
as I want to.
152
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:30,462
Dizzay, give me my gun.
153
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:35,233
You don't tell me what
to [bleep] do, Eddie.
154
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,735
Yeah.
You tell 'em, Dizzay.
155
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,503
And you don't tell me
what to do, either.
156
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,405
You don't tell me what to do!
Don't point your gun at me.
157
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,675
Don't tell me what to do!
Put the gun in my hand
158
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,076
and let me
point it at Troy.
159
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,311
Would you just
give him his gun?
160
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,046
He has a right
to protect himself.
161
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,315
Claude: If we're gonna be giving
guns to everybody,
162
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,083
don't you think we should have
some safety training?
163
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:55,153
[ All grumbling ]
I need one of those laser dots.
164
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,322
Hey, man, is that my pen?
No.
165
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,991
I'm talking about
mandatory background checks,
166
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,226
mental health exams.
167
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,928
It's just common sense
gun control, guys.
168
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:05,897
Seriously, man,
it's got my teeth marks on it.
169
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,365
It's not your pen, Ben.
170
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,501
Satan, think about it,
these guys are all idiots.
171
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:13,505
Do you want them running around
with --
Ahem.
172
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,373
Um, you know what, Ben,
173
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:17,342
um, yeah, why don't you
just take that pen.
174
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,010
Thank you.
See that?
175
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,712
It was Ben's pen after all.
176
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,748
And to your point,
Gary has made us a video
177
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:26,050
about gun safety that
I'd like you all to see.
178
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,385
Gary, you want to come up?
179
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:30,922
Can you help me, Dizzay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, buddy.
180
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,695
It's okay to clap...
181
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,030
if you want
to clap.
182
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,365
Got it?
183
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,133
Yeah, I think I --
Oh, oh, oh...
184
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,068
Come on, buddy.
185
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,437
All right.
186
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,905
Take one step.
187
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,106
There you go.
188
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,275
[ Groans ]
189
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,714
[ Music plays ]
190
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,117
♪ A rifle in the wrong hands ♪
191
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,052
♪ Can cause a killing spree ♪
192
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,588
♪ But a gun in the hand
of a righteous man ♪
193
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,557
♪ Is what made
our country free ♪
194
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,892
♪ What if Kennedy had a gun? ♪
195
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,428
♪ The other guy wouldn't
have too much fun ♪
196
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,797
♪ It damn sure would have
been a different story ♪
197
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,333
♪ Of the sixth floor
of the book depository ♪
198
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,569
♪ If Kennedy had a gun ♪
199
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,237
Light 'em up, gents!
200
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,439
Bap, bap, bap, bap!
No one's offended?
201
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:23,241
♪ Maybe we'd be in
a better place ♪
202
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:27,779
♪ If everyone in the human race
could only have a gun ♪
203
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,582
♪ Starts with me and Gandhiand Sharon Tate ♪
204
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,784
♪ And Malcolm X, John Lennon ♪
I can't be a part of this.
205
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,319
♪ Abe Lincoln, Tupac,Dian Fossey ♪
206
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,822
♪ Biggie Smalls, Pancho Villa ♪
207
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,025
What are you doing?
208
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:44,429
I'm looking for my bubble wrap
that you stole!
209
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,631
There are ways to solve conflict
without guns.
210
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,266
You stole
my bubble wrap!
211
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,767
I have to stand my ground.
212
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,270
I understand that.
It's not your fault if...
213
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,671
If only the rules here
214
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:56,040
were like they were
in Australia, you know?
215
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,610
What's, uh...
Australia?
216
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,779
It's a place, Windstorm --
a beautiful place.
217
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,883
They used to have a ton of guns,
but then they banned them.
218
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:08,953
And the shootings stopped.
Let me show you.
219
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,488
[ Laughs ]
220
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,858
That's a funny baby horse
inside a mama horse.
221
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:16,961
No, that's a kangaroo
and its joey.
222
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,129
Joey?
223
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,299
But she won't
throw joey away.
224
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,967
No, Windstorm, never.
225
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:27,138
They keep their joeys close,
like we are right now.
226
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,573
You see, look at us.
227
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,975
When you talk
and create a dialogue,
228
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,377
you connect
229
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,879
and surprising things
can happen.
230
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,514
Hey...
231
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,149
I've got a surprise
for you.
232
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,986
Close your eyes and no peeking,
all right, Windstorm?
233
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,156
♪♪
234
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,324
Surprise!
[ Wrap popping ]
235
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,692
[ Screams ]
236
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,094
Argh!
237
00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:52,830
Claude?
H-Hey, Claude?
238
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:53,831
Claude?
239
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:54,666
Claude!
240
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,334
Claude, wake up.
241
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,902
Rainbow Pie.
It's Windstorm,
242
00:08:57,937 --> 00:09:00,572
but I can see how
you would make that mistake!
243
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,373
Well, you're a bad guy
with a gun.
244
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:04,242
And I'm a good guy
with a gun.
245
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:08,012
Don't shoot, Gary.
I'm a good guy with gun, too!
246
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:13,084
♪♪
247
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,519
Aaaaaaaaaah!
248
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:18,056
[ Screams ]
249
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:21,359
You killed Windstorm,
you son of a bitch!
250
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,128
Say hello to
your little friend.
251
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,964
I'm talking about me --
252
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,532
Rainbow Pie!
253
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,300
[ Screams ]
254
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:36,441
♪♪
255
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:38,810
[ Distorted ]
My dick!
256
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,445
My balls!
257
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,147
My dick and balls!
258
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:51,089
♪♪
259
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,290
No!
260
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,324
Wha--
261
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,892
[ Thunder rumbles ]
262
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:58,597
♪♪
263
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,468
[ Popping ]
264
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,403
[ Growling ]
265
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,572
Morning, ladies.
No, no, no, no, no.
266
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,806
Don't try to speak.
267
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:10,908
Some maniac shot you
in the larynx.
268
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,243
So what you're gonna do is,
you're gonna blow
269
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,611
into those little straws,
270
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:16,247
and it will point to words
on the monitor.
271
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,483
[ Blows ]
272
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,617
Automated voice: Poop.
273
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,419
Poop.
You've gotta go poop.
274
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,421
Poop. Poop.
Okay, you can just go
right in your diaper.
275
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,922
Dog booty. Dog booty.
276
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,959
Listen, I know you have a lot
to express in your heart.
277
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:31,095
Dog booty.
But the monitor has
a very limited vocabulary.
278
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,597
Dog booty.
279
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,931
Poop.Satan is great.
280
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,300
I know you guys are impaired,
281
00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:39,504
but you're still a very
important part of our team.
282
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,705
Poop. Poop.
So come on, let's go.
283
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,841
Dog booty.
There we go.
284
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,444
Oh. Okay, guys, guys, guys.
Don't panic.
[ Both groaning ]
285
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,446
I'm not gonna make you
do the stairs.
286
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,315
No, I had, uh...
I had a ramp put in.
287
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,118
[ Both grunting ]
288
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:58,556
Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop.Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop.
289
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,191
Because of
the coffee table!
290
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:03,061
Poop, poop, poop, poop!
20594
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