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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,939 2 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,150 3 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,524 You've reached Dr Stuart Price. 4 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:09,992 The office will be closed until the 24th. If this is an emergency, please try... 5 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,992 6 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,828 7 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,167 Hi. This is Dr. Stu Price. 8 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:19,580 I'm getting married, so I'll be out of the country for two weeks. 9 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:24,343 I'm not sure if I'll have cell service. If this is a dental emergency, plea... 10 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:25,794 Nothing. 11 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:30,390 12 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,015 Daddy, please. You're not helping. 13 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:38,524 Not the eyes of a man. 14 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,026 The eyes of a coward. 15 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:42,731 16 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,441 17 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,781 Excuse me. 18 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,787 --Phil. 19 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,702 I'm sorry. 20 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,833 Where the hell are you? 21 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,708 It happened again. 22 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,044 Don't say that. 23 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,207 Please. 24 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,468 No, this time we really fucked up. 25 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,176 Seriously, what is wrong with you three? 26 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,595 So much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin. 27 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,726 TRACY: Oh, God. How bad? 28 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,392 Like no wedding bad? 29 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,897 Yeah. 30 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,852 Little worse than that. 31 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,128 Mm-hm. 32 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,586 You really need to floss more. 33 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,881 Fuck that. That's why I come here. 34 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,469 Then you should come more than once every two years. 35 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,978 - So you could bleed me of all my money? - I never charge you a dime, Phil. 36 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:25,186 - Hey, how do I work the nitrous? - Uh, you don't, actually. 37 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,350 Come on. Just one hit. 38 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,317 Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems? 39 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:35,534 Yeah, actually. You're getting married in Thailand. 40 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:39,663 For starters, that's flights for me and Steph. That's two grand right there. 41 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,289 My mother-in-law's watching the kids. 42 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,701 Now she's got this whole new thing to hold over my head. 43 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,869 Plus it takes five days to get there. 44 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,540 It's a 16-hour flight. And it's beautiful when you get there. 45 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,834 - Whatever. it's a hassle. - It is kind of far. 46 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,712 Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet-lagged. 47 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,051 It's where her parents are from. It means a lot. 48 00:04:57,214 --> 00:05:00,309 Who gives a shit about her parents? Her dad hates you. 49 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,890 He doesn't hate me. 50 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,727 He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing. 51 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,938 Why can't you get married in Vegas like last time? So much easier. 52 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,229 Why can't you just be excited for me? 53 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,568 This is my wedding. 54 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,574 You're really happy, huh? 55 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,081 I really am. 56 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:29,253 All right. I'm happy too. 57 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,540 Thank you. 58 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,924 It's gonna be fun. 59 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,757 60 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,927 Phil? Put the prescription pad back. 61 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,573 Thank you. You know that's a felony, right? 62 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,278 Fuck you, man. 63 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,620 - Was this right up against your scrotum? - Yep. 64 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,951 TRACY: Oh, my God. I just realized. DOUG: What? 65 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,869 TRACY: I forgot to renew my passport. 66 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,287 Oh, no. 67 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,707 Good thing I did it last week. It's in the kitchen drawer. 68 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,591 You're the best. 69 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,468 Hey, we're a team. 70 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:22,474 No, I mean, you are a good guy. Like, a really good guy. 71 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,725 Thank you. 72 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,728 So I know you're not gonna get mad. 73 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,264 Mad? What...? Mad at what? 74 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,727 Alan found out that we're going to Thailand for Stu's wedding. 75 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:33,940 So? 76 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,981 So he's heartbroken, Doug. You guys are like his family. 77 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,149 No, your family is like his family. 78 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:44,079 All Alan talks about is the three of you. And that weekend. 79 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,831 Wait. Is he the one that keeps calling and hanging up? 80 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:51,670 He does that when he's upset. He doesn't understand why he's not invited. 81 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,834 Could you just run it by Stu? 82 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,466 Just run it by him. 83 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,210 For me? 84 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,009 STU: No fucking way. 85 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,515 Absolutely not. 86 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,142 Come on, Stu. it's killing him. 87 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,678 I don't care. 88 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,938 Honestly, the two of you were barely invited. 89 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,848 PHIL: Oh. - All right. I get it. I really do. 90 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,360 Just, you know what? Alan considers you to be one of his best friends. 91 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,065 I consider Alan to be insane. 92 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,354 PHIL: Stu, throw him a bone. 93 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,819 His dad pays for everything he eats and breaks. 94 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,701 We should squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party. 95 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:24,907 That's good. 96 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:30,122 I'm glad you brought that up, because this is the bachelor party. 97 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,956 - What? - What are you talking about? 98 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,041 Yeah. it's my bachelor brunch. 99 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:39,506 Go crazy. Get some chocolate-chip pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress. 100 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,176 That's bullshit. Ha, ha. You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu. 101 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:47,934 You see that? That's orange juice with a napkin on top. 102 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,812 Do you know why? So nobody roofies me. 103 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,770 Well, I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party. 104 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,026 Come on. Don't you think you're overreacting? 105 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,278 No, I don't. 106 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,400 I'm still putting the broken pieces of my psyche back together. 107 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,862 108 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,027 And you know what the glue is? 109 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,494 Lauren. And I'm not doing anything to screw that up. 110 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,785 - You wouldn't be with her if it wasn't for us. - Oh, this'll be good. 111 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,420 Stu, think about it. You ended up ditching Melissa. 112 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,672 Two years later, you met your true soul mate. 113 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,586 You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt. 114 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,092 It's okay. I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party. 115 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,723 Drink up, everybody. 116 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,680 Wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fucking IHOP. 117 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,938 Well, it's my decision and it's final, so how about a toast? 118 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:36,942 - This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car. - Come on, Phil. Where you going? 119 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,569 I just don't get it. He's getting married in Thailand. 120 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,607 That's great for him, but what about us? You're just selfish. 121 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,741 Come on, sweetheart. 122 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,118 Shame on you. 123 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,246 Don't worry, Stu. I will stand up for you no matter what. 124 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,705 Thank you. 125 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,792 But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing. 126 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,376 SID: Guys, I can't tell you how much this means. 127 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,046 Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got wind of the wedding. 128 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,259 I'm sure he has. 129 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,642 Yeah, he's been standing outside by the mailbox every day. 130 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,474 - Wow, that's rough. - Yeah. I, uh ... 131 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:18,142 I'm not quite sure he ever left Vegas, you know? He really needs this. 132 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,477 [KNOCKS ON Doom 133 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,815 ALAN: What? 134 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,357 Sweetie, it's Pa Pa. You have visitors. 135 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,323 Go in slowly, give him a chance to acclimate. 136 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,331 DOUG: Hey, Alan. 137 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,788 Hey, guys. 138 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,457 - Hey, Phil. - Hey, bud. 139 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,336 Uh... Uh, you guys wanna come in? 140 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,718 - Sure. - Yeah, absolutely. 141 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,007 - Hey. - Hey. 142 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,296 Hey. 143 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,800 - Hey, Stu. - Okay. See you on the court in half... 144 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,929 Pretty cool room, Alan. 145 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,645 Oh, thanks, Phil. My dad pays my rent. 146 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,525 Alan, what the fuck? 147 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:04,187 We were supposed to delete these. You made a promise. 148 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,233 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell? 149 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,277 I'm not cool with this at all. You can't have these. 150 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,329 PHIL: Ha, ha. - Chillax, Stu. Nobody ever comes in here. 151 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,081 Total violation of trust. 152 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,368 Mother, I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here. 153 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,706 154 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,962 Sorry, honey. I 'll be right up. 155 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,044 ALAN: Can't believe you stopped by. This is cool. 156 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,958 Wait a second. AI, is that Mr. Chow? 157 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,173 Yeah. We still keep in touch. 158 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,966 Stu. 159 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,382 - The guy that kidnapped us? - He didn't kidnap us. 160 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,300 He kidnapped Black Doug. Remember? 161 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,060 It was a whole big misunderstanding. He's actually quite charming. 162 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,391 163 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,057 - Alan, he's a criminal. - Excuse me, boys. 164 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,941 - Hi, Linda. LINDA: Hi, Dougie. 165 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,979 I guess we don't do dessert any more. I didn't get that memo. 166 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,364 Well, I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back. 167 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,733 Would a cupcake kill you? 168 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,996 - I don't think this was a good idea. - Uh, Alan, we have a little surprise for you. 169 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,791 Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. 170 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,660 Well, only if you're not busy. 171 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,627 Stu. 172 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,914 Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town. 173 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,333 No. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend. 174 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,672 STU: Mm. 175 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:12,715 Are you really being serious, Stu? You're inviting me? 176 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,225 Yeah, why not? Could be fun, right? 177 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,104 - Phil, are you going? - Of course. 178 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,278 Then it will be fun. 179 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,621 STU: Ah! - Whoa, what the fuck are you doing, man? 180 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,541 It's my immunizations. This is the last day I can do it. 181 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,957 That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse. 182 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,623 I am a nurse. I'm just not registered. 183 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,758 Oh, Stu, look at this. 184 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,760 I bought this because I thought of you. 185 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,833 STU: Hey, there he is. - Hey, Stu. 186 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:33,503 - Teddy. What's up? How are you? TEDDY: Good to see you, man. 187 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,638 STU: All right. - Who's this guy, Stu? 188 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,720 This is Teddy, Lauren's little brother. 189 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,635 Goes to Stanford. Premed. This is Phil, Alan and Doug. 190 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,432 DOUG: Hey, nice to meet you, man. - Wow, Stanford? How old are you? 191 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,267 TEDDY: I'm... - Uh, he's 17. Kind of a genius. 192 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,901 Actually, I'm 16. 193 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,439 And I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take the entrance exams early. 194 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,278 Because you're a genius. 195 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,202 - So, what are you, a doctor? - No. Not yet. I'm premed. 196 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,989 Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser? 197 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:04,409 - Yeah. - Well, he turned out to be a gay. 198 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,294 - Alan. - It's true. I read it in Teen People. 199 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,582 Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna grab a book or something for the plane. 200 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:11,840 You guys want anything? 201 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,047 - No, thanks. DOUG: I'm good. 202 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,882 I would actually love a Smartwater. 203 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,258 Cool. 204 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,514 Thanks. 205 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,719 - Whats the matter with you? He's 16. - Yeah, Alan. Take it easy. 206 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,728 I'm a little confused. Is he here just to see us off or what? 207 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,060 - How does this work? - How does what work? 208 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,191 Is that person coming to the wedding? 209 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,905 Yes, Alan. My bride's little brother is coming to the wedding. 210 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,315 Is that okay with you? 211 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,156 Well, it's just the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me. 212 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,618 213 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,659 Don't overreact. it's gonna be fine. 214 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,330 Hey. Mind if I sit? 215 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,672 - Wolf pack only. Find another chair. - There's no wolf pack, Alan. 216 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,053 - Come on. - It's no problem. I can find... 217 00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:00,886 - Don't be ridiculous. You're sitting here. - Careful. That's a Louis... 218 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,926 That is a Louis Vuitton. 219 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,478 TEDDY: Thanks. 220 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,070 That's a nice neck roll. 221 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,404 Thanks. You can use it if you want. 222 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,277 Okay. 223 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,684 LAUREN; Baby! Hi! on, my God! 224 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,443 STU: Ah. 225 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,364 - How was your trip? - It was long, but good. 226 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:49,954 STU: This is so absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much. 227 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,208 Of course. 228 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,620 Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited. 229 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,164 Pretty soon you'll have two doctors in the family. Ha, ha. 230 00:15:56,539 --> 00:16:00,669 You have to realize that in my country, we don't consider dentist to be real doctors. 231 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,087 Dad. 232 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,675 Okay. 233 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:07,593 Anyway, I have to go and talk to Teddy about his cello performance tonight. 234 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,055 See you. 235 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,722 - Ouch. - I'm so sorry. 236 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,270 Your dad's kind of obsessed with your brother. 237 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,356 LAUREN: Teddy is my dad's prized possession. 238 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,486 It's always been that way. 239 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,782 He'll warm up. I promise. Okay? 240 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,819 ALAN: If you just fax it over to me, I'll pick it up from concierge. 241 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,408 Okay. Ha, ha. Thanks, Pa Pa. 242 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:29,572 Bye-bye. 243 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663 That was, uh, my dad. I'm a stay-at-home son. 244 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,874 We were discussing your wedding gift. He's sparing no expense. 245 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:39,166 Oh, that's so unnecessary. 246 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,051 I've been, uh, meaning to ask. I noticed it's a fishing village. 247 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,212 Is there a Long John Silver's on the island? 248 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,222 You know, no, I don't think so. I'm so sorry. 249 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:50,760 But we are actually sewing some great fresh seafood. 250 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,680 - Better than Long John's'? - Yes. 251 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,099 I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening. 252 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,109 You too. Okay. 253 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:07,699 254 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:37,474 All right. 255 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,692 Thank you, Teddy. 256 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,117 The hands of a brilliant musician... 257 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,495 and one day, a great surgeon. 258 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,290 I admit it. 259 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,168 When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold. 260 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,455 [STU SNICKERS AND ALL CHUCKLE] 261 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,090 He seemed unattractive. 262 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,173 He lacked intelligence and imagination. 263 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,427 He was missing that spark you look for in a man. 264 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,812 But then I look into Stu's eyes. 265 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:19,349 He reminded me of my sweet brother, Chaiyo. 266 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,022 For those who do not know... 267 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,188 Chaiyo is learning-disabled and lives in a group home. 268 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,027 269 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:32,203 But Chaiyo loves chok. 270 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,034 And that's when I realized... 271 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,573 272 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,368 Stu is chok. 273 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,373 What's chok? 274 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,874 Chok is soft white rice in lukewarm water. 275 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,294 It has no taste. 276 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:51,806 We feed it to small baby and very old people. 277 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,727 It is nourishment that everyone can digest. 278 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,221 The world needs chok. 279 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,482 Just as the world needs people like Stu. 280 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,822 To my sweet daughter and Stu. Congratulations. 281 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,359 PHIL: Hear, hear. DOUG: Cheers, guys. 282 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,739 And now I believe that Teddy has something to say. 283 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,127 Sit down. I got this. 284 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,753 Sit down, boy. 285 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,208 That was, uh, a great speech, sir. 286 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:31,763 I like the comparisons between, uh, Stu and rice. 287 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,684 I've also prepared a few words. 288 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,770 "Hey, everybody, here are some fun facts. 289 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,687 The population in Thailand is 63 million people. 290 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,022 It is twice the size of Wyoming. 291 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:50,444 Its chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. 292 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:55,863 Each year, approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. 293 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,871 - The climate in Thailand is..." DOUG: Alan, uh... 294 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,580 Alan, why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy? 295 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,536 Okay. Sorry. 296 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:06,668 297 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,459 "None of you know Stu like I do." 298 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,549 Not you. Not you. 299 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,427 Not you. Not you. 300 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,887 Not nobody knows Stu like I do. 301 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:21,771 No one. 302 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,103 "I can't even tell you what we've been through... 303 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:28,145 because we made a pact more important than blood. 304 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,063 What I can tell you is this: 305 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,278 This is not Stu's first marriage. 306 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,786 There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago..." 307 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,823 You can sit down, bud. You can sit down. 308 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,543 - It was good. I did good, though. - Oh, God, you killed it. 309 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:46,454 - Okay. Thanks, Phil. - Sit down. Yeah. 310 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,589 In your face. 311 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,100 Well, that was exactly as painful as I expected it to be. 312 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,139 Ha, ha. Sorry. 313 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,525 Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing? 314 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:12,439 - Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Phil. - Be nice, Phil. He's extra sensitive tonight. 315 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:16,701 Get over it. He's your father-in-law. He's supposed to hate you. 316 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,032 Come have a drink with me and the guys. 317 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:23,496 You know, I'm really exhausted. We're just gonna go upstairs and crash. 318 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,410 I spoke with the manager. He'll let us have a beach bonfire. 319 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,329 That sounds fun. 320 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,500 Nah. I'm good. 321 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:32,712 He's tired. 322 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,754 Stu. One drink with your friends. They came all this way. 323 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,641 - I just wanna hang out with you. - Oh, come on, just go and do me a favor: 324 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,018 Take Teddy with you. 325 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:43,678 He never gets to have any fun. 326 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,892 That is a great idea. Bring the kid. 327 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,557 - All right. One drink. LAUREN: Perfect. 328 00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:49,725 - See? - You win. 329 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,394 STU: See you later. LAUREN: Have fun. 330 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,359 STEPHANIE: Got your key? - Uh, yep. Got it right there. 331 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,401 - I'll see you in 20 minutes. 332 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:03,372 My Uncle Roger said that he once saw a albino polar bear. 333 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,408 Really? Polar bears are white. 334 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,417 How would he know if it's an albino? 335 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,042 This one was black. 336 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,506 Did you ever think maybe it was just a black bear? 337 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:21,757 Whatevs. 338 00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:24,602 - Okay. Here we go. DOUG: All right. 339 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,808 - American beer. DOUG: Let's do it. 340 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,439 Sealed bottles. 341 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,099 Thank you. All right. 342 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,110 Um, I'm not really old enough to drink. 343 00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:36,022 Yeah, it's illegal. Be a shame if somebody reported you. 344 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,904 Nobody's reporting anybody. 345 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:41,114 It's fine, Teddy. Have a little fun. 346 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,200 ALAN: Careful. PHIL: What? Oh. 347 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:46,783 What is this? Roasting marshmallows? Nice touch. 348 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:50,453 DOUG: That was Alan's idea. - Oh. Good thinking, Alan. 349 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:55,708 You know, I gotta hand it to you, Stu. This place is paradise. 350 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,172 Not bad, right? 351 00:22:57,334 --> 00:23:01,430 And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. 352 00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,637 I mean, Lauren is an angel. 353 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,801 Yeah, she really is amazing. 354 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,220 Wow, you guys are sweet. 355 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:12,358 Not big breasts on her, but still, solid rack for an Asian. 356 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:13,984 Sorry, Teddy, but it's true. 357 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,523 That's okay. 358 00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:21,068 That is just wildly inappropriate. And yet I'm really glad you're here. 359 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,735 All you guys. 360 00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:24,153 Even you, Alan. 361 00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,995 It means a lot that you made the trip. Thank you. 362 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,500 Wouldn't miss it, buddy. 363 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:33,496 Great. Now can we have our one fucking beer, Dad? 364 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:34,788 Mm-hm. 365 00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:36,966 All right. Toast. 366 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,172 Come on, stand up, guys. 367 00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:41,670 Come over here, Alan. 368 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,971 To Lauren and Stu. 369 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,226 - You did it, buddy. - You sure did. 370 00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,853 ALL: Cheers. 371 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,502 372 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,474 What the hell? 373 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,113 374 00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,370 375 00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:33,575 376 00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:43,463 377 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:49,969 What? 378 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,306 ALAN: No. 379 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:57,140 380 00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,330 Phil? 381 00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:20,546 I think it's happened again. 382 00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:23,336 Alan, what the fuck did you do? 383 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:26,343 I didn't do anything. I swear to God. 384 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,263 Your hair is gone. 385 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,391 No, no. 386 00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,184 UP... 387 00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:36,932 388 00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:42,146 Where the fuck are we? 389 00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:45,028 390 00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:47,315 391 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:52,153 Phil, I'm scared. 392 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,662 393 00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:03,706 394 00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:06,883 Stu, come on, get up. We got a situation. 395 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:10,129 396 00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:17,181 Oh, holy shit. 397 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,854 Where are we? 398 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:25,394 Oh, my God, Alan. Your head. 399 00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:27,396 No, your head. 400 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:29,065 He's bald. 401 00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:32,030 Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be okay. 402 00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:34,320 Why? What's...? Is it my teeth? 403 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,703 - It's not your teeth. ALAN: No. 404 00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,206 - Are you sure? - Yep. 405 00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:39,492 - Did you check the bottoms? - I did. 406 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,917 Oh, my God. 407 00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:47,257 What the fuck? Ow! 408 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,424 That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off? 409 00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:52,930 STU: It's not coming off! 410 00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:56,850 This is a real tattoo! 411 00:27:57,467 --> 00:27:59,390 Alan, what did you do? Did you roofie me? 412 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,898 - I didn't do anything. - Stu, he swore to God. 413 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,726 What happened? 414 00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:07,019 415 00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:08,233 416 00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:10,568 PHIL: Oh, jeez! STU: What is it?! What is it?! 417 00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:12,699 Help! Back there! What are you'?! 418 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:14,572 ALAN: Did you see that jump? 419 00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:17,454 - Oh, what the hell?! - Oh, it's a monkey. 420 00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,707 Look at the cute little vest. Hi, little monkey. 421 00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,618 Alan. Alan. 422 00:28:23,452 --> 00:28:24,578 Butthole. 423 00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:25,792 424 00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:26,955 425 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,169 - Phone. - Hi, monkey. 426 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:30,426 Look, Alan, Alan, go find the phone. 427 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:32,965 I got it. 428 00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:35,635 Doug. Doug. Where the hell are you? 429 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:38,596 I'm at breakfast. By the pool. You guys coming down or what? 430 00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:41,387 Oh, Jesus. Thank God. Doug's fine. 431 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,806 Stu, Doug's fine! He's at the resort. 432 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:45,645 Why aren't we at the resort? 433 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,354 What's going on? Where are you? 434 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:51,063 I don't know, man. We woke up in some shithole room in some city. 435 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,483 DOUG: Oh, God. What city? 436 00:28:53,649 --> 00:28:56,653 I don't know, Doug. Fucking Asia Town. 437 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:59,120 I don't know. I told you. 438 00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:00,997 Where are we? 439 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,079 PHIL: I have no fucking idea. 440 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:08,497 ALAN: Hey, Stu. - What? 441 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:11,004 Check this out. 442 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,504 You ever seen anything like this? 443 00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:23,854 - What is that? ALAN: Careful! 444 00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:27,357 Might be a spider's nest. I've tangled with those before. 445 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:32,238 I don't get it, man. I mean, we each had one beer last night, right? 446 00:29:32,396 --> 00:29:35,320 - I mean, you too. - Yeah, but I left early, remember? 447 00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:37,029 PHIL: I don't remember shit. 448 00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:39,695 Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came down to get me. 449 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,993 Wait a second. Is Teddy with you guys? 450 00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:44,328 PHIL: Teddy? What? What are you talking about? 451 00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:46,869 They've been looking for him all morning. 452 00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:49,709 - Teddy went to Stanford, right? DOUG: Yeah. Why? 453 00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:51,547 Fuck! 454 00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,380 455 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:54,884 I just found his finger. 456 00:29:55,502 --> 00:29:56,924 DOUG: What? 457 00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:00,049 I just found his fucking finger, Doug. 458 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:01,637 Phil, what is going on? 459 00:30:02,509 --> 00:30:05,228 All right. All right, all right, all right. 460 00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:08,061 This is what we're gonna do. Tell the girls that we woke up early... 461 00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:10,225 and went on a fishing trip. That's where we are. 462 00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:12,486 - Right. - All right, stay by the phone. 463 00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:15,359 Shit! 464 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,786 PHIL: All right, we got a little bit of a problem. 465 00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,744 What is that? 466 00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:27,292 We don't know. 467 00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:29,995 Is it a worm? 468 00:30:30,287 --> 00:30:32,381 It's a mushroom. 469 00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:35,758 Yeah, shiitake. 470 00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:39,805 Monkey, taste it. What do you think? Is it shiitake? 471 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,215 He can't understand you. 472 00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:43,926 STU: He just did. 473 00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:45,768 Why is he pulling on it? 474 00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:47,554 He's probably hungry. 475 00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,689 Wait a second. Is that...? 476 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:52,772 CHOW: Aah! What the fuck, man?! 477 00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:55,232 Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone! 478 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:56,692 Chow'?! 479 00:30:57,439 --> 00:30:59,407 CHOW: You fucking crazy. 480 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:02,119 Ah, so fucking light in here. 481 00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:03,449 Alan. 482 00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:05,572 Grab me my sunglasses. 483 00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:10,620 - It's great to see you, Leslie. - Mm. Nice to see you too, my little hobo. 484 00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,709 Chow, what the fuck are you doing here? 485 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:16,546 Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to wedding. 486 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,881 - Excuse me? - What? He's my plus one. 487 00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:21,138 You didn't have a plus one. It's $200 a plate. 488 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:24,641 Guys, guys. Just focus, okay? Chow, what happened? 489 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,475 You guys texted me, said you fucked up and looking to party. 490 00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:30,810 491 00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:38,731 I picked you up in my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok. 492 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:40,865 And we had a sick night, bitches! 493 00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:44,324 Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Chow. 494 00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:46,238 Chow, we're in Bangkok? 495 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:50,126 Holler! City of squalor! 496 00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:51,626 Do you know how I got this tattoo? 497 00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:55,130 Uh, yeah. From a fucking tattoo guy. 498 00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:57,791 Come on, Stewie. Use that big Jewish brain. 499 00:31:57,958 --> 00:31:59,756 Hey, what's the monkey holding? 500 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,420 501 00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,051 That's a finger! 502 00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:06,433 PHIL: Stu, I got some bad news. 503 00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:09,720 Teddy was with us last night. 504 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,392 That's his finger. 505 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,978 Teddy... Teddy's dead? 506 00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:18,191 Ha, ha. Teddy not dead. He party with us all night. 507 00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:19,525 PHIL: Well, then where is he? 508 00:32:19,688 --> 00:32:21,281 Don't you remember anything? 509 00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,860 - No! - No. Nothing, Chow. 510 00:32:25,026 --> 00:32:27,996 Okay, okay. I explain it all, okay? 511 00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,700 Just let me do one bump, get my head straight. 512 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,868 Come to papa. 513 00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:36,046 - Okay. - That's a big... 514 00:32:41,418 --> 00:32:45,173 You ready for craziest fucking story of... 515 00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:56,895 Chow. 516 00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:00,737 Mr. Chow, are you okay? 517 00:33:03,398 --> 00:33:05,696 You gotta be kidding me. 518 00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:13,499 Fuck, he's dead. 519 00:33:14,075 --> 00:33:15,748 520 00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,507 - Help! - Stu. 521 00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:23,009 - Help! Help! - Stu, shut up. 522 00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:24,340 Stu, shut up. Stu, shut up! 523 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:25,550 524 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:27,510 - Call an ambulance! PHIL: Shut up! 525 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:31,677 He's dead. Look, if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine... 526 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:34,312 we'll spend the rest of our lives in a Thai prison. Shh! 527 00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:37,103 Alan. Alan, please stop crying. 528 00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:39,021 529 00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:44,281 All right. All right! I just need a second to figure this out. 530 00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:21,647 STU: This is the worst idea ever. What the fuck is this place? 531 00:34:21,810 --> 00:34:25,531 ALAN: "Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its population is 12 million people." 532 00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:28,283 Alan, put the cards away and help. 533 00:34:29,109 --> 00:34:30,986 534 00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,452 Elevator. 535 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,788 ALAN: I'll get the button. I'll get the button. 536 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:42,623 What the fuck is the deal with this monkey? 537 00:34:42,789 --> 00:34:44,837 ALAN: That monkey gets it. 538 00:34:45,709 --> 00:34:47,928 STU: Come on. - Oh, fuck. No, the power's out. 539 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:50,464 - We gotta take the stairs. - Ah, fuck! 540 00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:52,136 Come on. 541 00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,521 Here it is. 542 00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:03,268 Feet first, feet first. I've done this before. 543 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:05,816 STU: Alan. 544 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:09,862 ALAN: All right. Careful. Careful. 545 00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:17,206 546 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,839 - Stu. STU: What? 547 00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,972 We still have to find Teddy. 548 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,058 Oh, God. 549 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:47,896 The roof! 550 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:49,814 - Teddy! - Teddy! 551 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:54,202 - Teddy! Teddy! - Teddy! Teddy! 552 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:56,620 ALAN; Teddy! 553 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,749 - You guys see anything? - No. 554 00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:09,339 Come on. Where are you, buddy? 555 00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,010 He's not here. 556 00:36:16,049 --> 00:36:19,223 I can't believe this is happening again. 557 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:25,938 Okay. Look, we'll handle this. You get back there. 558 00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:29,605 You tell them that Alan and I got drunk with him, we're still partying. 559 00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:31,990 - You gotta go get married. - No, no. 560 00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,776 I'm not going back without Teddy. 561 00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:37,787 It's Lauren's little brother, he's lost, he's injured. 562 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,867 If I fuck this up... 563 00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:44,661 I lose everything. 564 00:36:47,163 --> 00:36:48,460 Okay. 565 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,130 All right. 566 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,883 Alan, check your pockets. 567 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,468 - What? - You know the drill. 568 00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:58,804 Come on, there might be clues. 569 00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:02,267 - Check your phones. Numbers, texts. - Oh, that's a good idea. 570 00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:04,723 - I got nothing. Fuck. - Me neither. 571 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:06,812 - I got a text from Chow. - What time? 572 00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:08,977 Uh, 10:00 last night. 573 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,646 What's it say? 574 00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:13,531 "On my way, niggas." 575 00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:14,816 Oh, niggas. Okay. 576 00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:16,280 Hip-hop. 577 00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:22,992 We are so fucked. 578 00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,332 - Hey, Phil. - What? 579 00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:28,337 Look who's back. Hi. 580 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:33,001 We gotta get you out of the sun. Get you a hat. 581 00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:34,966 Yeah. Yeah. 582 00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:38,799 STU: Phil, I really think we should go to the American Consulate. 583 00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:41,718 PHIL: For what? Report a dead body we shoved into an ice machine? 584 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:44,855 Are we gonna keep walking in circles? That's real productive. 585 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,812 I'm trying to figure this out. Your attitude is not helping. 586 00:37:47,974 --> 00:37:51,103 Well, I'm sorry. It's 100 degrees and we don't have a plan. 587 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,363 And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas. 588 00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:54,864 What? it's a bag of Fanta. 589 00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:57,617 - All right, what do you wanna do, Stu? - I don't know. 590 00:37:57,776 --> 00:38:00,370 - Then stop yelling at me like it's my fault. - It is your fault! 591 00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:01,529 592 00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:03,369 All I wanted was a bachelor brunch. 593 00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:05,704 Shit. Shut up, it's Doug. Talk to me. 594 00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:09,041 Just got off the phone with Bangkok P.D. They got him. He's okay. 595 00:38:09,204 --> 00:38:12,378 Oh. Thank God. Doug found him. 596 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,213 - What happened? DOUG: He got arrested. 597 00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:17,219 - Arrested? For what? - Disorderly conduct. 598 00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:19,551 - Seriously? DOUG: Yeah. He's okay, though. 599 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:23,264 They'll release him to you, no questions asked. No one here has to know. 600 00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:25,474 He's at the, uh... 601 00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:28,811 "Ratchawang Police Station." 602 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:31,226 Okay. Okay, I'll call you when we get there. 603 00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:35,147 - Teddy's in jail, but fine. We gotta get a cab. - Okay. All right. 604 00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:42,904 OFFICER: Yes, I have his paperwork here. PHIL: Okay. 605 00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:45,073 OFFICER: He has been cleared. PHIL: Sounds good. 606 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,038 OFFICER: Of course. PHIL: Thank you. 607 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,703 We're good, we're good. They're processing for release. 608 00:38:49,869 --> 00:38:51,291 609 00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,752 Yeah, they threw him in the drunk tank. He's fine. 610 00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:57,052 Sixteen years old, spent a night in jail. Can you imagine? 611 00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:58,378 612 00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,092 We love to party. 613 00:39:04,217 --> 00:39:06,015 Here we go. 614 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,105 - Wait, who's this fucking guy? - Teddy Srisai. 615 00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:10,766 What...? No, no, no. I'm so... 616 00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,559 It's the wrong guy. Sir. 617 00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:14,773 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Uh, there's been a mistake. 618 00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:17,610 He brought the wrong guy. That's not Teddy. 619 00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:20,616 Of course it is. We have his IDs and everything. 620 00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,283 These were in his pockets when we made the arrest. 621 00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:25,571 They were in his pocket? 622 00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:28,787 Excuse me, sir. 623 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:31,123 How did you get this stuff? 624 00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:34,080 Hello? 625 00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:35,882 OFFICER: Teddy doesn't speak. 626 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,385 We tried English, Thai, Chinese. Nothing. 627 00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:40,966 Let me ask you something. 628 00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:45,600 Does he look like he works out at Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California? 629 00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:49,311 Look, we arrest a lot of people. 630 00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:52,644 We cannot analyze everything. All right? 631 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,980 Well, what do you expect us to do with this guy? 632 00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:56,269 Not my problem. 633 00:39:57,687 --> 00:39:59,064 Hey, guys? 634 00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:01,483 I think he knows us. 635 00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:03,322 Hi. Hello. 636 00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:11,251 Do you know where our friend is?! Teddy! He's missing! 637 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,503 Stu, forget it. The guy's worthless. 638 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:17,006 He knows something. He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt. 639 00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:19,796 What if he just doesn't understand? 640 00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:23,839 Uh, I'll act it out. Yeah, like charades. Watch. 641 00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,257 - Two words. - Is it a movie? 642 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,185 This is not for you, Alan. 643 00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:34,349 American teenager in Asia. 644 00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:36,643 Karate Kid with Jaden Smith. 645 00:40:37,352 --> 00:40:39,696 It's easy because you were talking through it. 646 00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:41,610 Stu, it's a waste of time. 647 00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:43,696 Just leave this fucking guy here. 648 00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:47,613 Oh, here's something. "There are 500,000 monks living in Thailand. 649 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:51,875 It is not uncommon for some monks to take a vow of silence... 650 00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:55,378 at the age of 8." - There you go. 651 00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:58,255 - Is there anything else in that envelope? - No, it's empty. 652 00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:00,841 Whoa, hang on. 653 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,471 A drink card from White Lion Bar, Bangkok? 654 00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:08,141 Worth a shot. 655 00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:12,854 PHIL: Jesus Christ. ls this the right street? 656 00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:14,229 STU: That's what it says. 657 00:41:14,389 --> 00:41:16,062 658 00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:23,569 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is the White Lion. 659 00:41:24,232 --> 00:41:25,905 What the fuck happened here? 660 00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:28,411 Holy shit. 661 00:41:28,611 --> 00:41:30,909 662 00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:36,336 PHIL: Oh, okay. Just keep walking. Yeah. STU: Okay. Yeah, we should probably... 663 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,622 664 00:41:40,415 --> 00:41:41,758 STU: Ah! - All right. it's okay. 665 00:41:42,583 --> 00:41:44,256 STU: What the fuck is going on here? 666 00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:48,924 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, check it out. 667 00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:52,678 Holy shit. Stu, look. 668 00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:54,266 That's my face. 669 00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:56,181 Go, go, go. 670 00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:58,103 Nice work, Alan. 671 00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:03,021 PHIL: Hello? - Be with you in a minute. 672 00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:08,576 Excuse me. 673 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,453 Oh, look who it is. 674 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:13,038 So, what do you think? 675 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:14,369 What? I'm sorry? 676 00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,534 The tattoo? You love it? 677 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,541 Uh, no. Actually, I hate it. 678 00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:21,798 No refunds. Get the fuck out. 679 00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:23,879 - Wait a second. - Read the sign. 680 00:42:25,793 --> 00:42:28,637 We don't want a refund. We just have a couple of questions. 681 00:42:28,796 --> 00:42:30,924 Trying to figure out what went down last night. 682 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:32,387 "What went down"? 683 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:35,269 Look what you did outside. Half the neighborhood went down. 684 00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:36,475 We did that? 685 00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:39,641 You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion? 686 00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:41,559 Starting a full-on fucking riot? 687 00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:45,230 No, sir. We don't remember anything. 688 00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,278 689 00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:52,703 Hold this. Oh, boy. 690 00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,327 Check this out. 691 00:42:55,490 --> 00:42:58,084 [PEOPLE SHOUTING AND SIRENS WAILING ON PHONE] 692 00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:00,666 Holy shit. 693 00:43:00,828 --> 00:43:02,580 694 00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:06,585 Fuck the police! 695 00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,503 Fuck the police! 696 00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:10,046 697 00:43:10,213 --> 00:43:11,715 698 00:43:11,881 --> 00:43:13,303 There's Teddy. He was with us. 699 00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:29,399 PHIL: Jesus Christ. 700 00:43:29,565 --> 00:43:32,489 That's when the cops arrived, started cracking skulls. 701 00:43:32,652 --> 00:43:34,950 I took you guys and hid you in the shop here. 702 00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:38,996 Then you decided to get a tattoo. Cried like a little bitch. 703 00:43:39,826 --> 00:43:42,705 This kid's fucking 9 years old. He's got balls twice your size. 704 00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:46,208 - Show him your balls, man. PHIL: No, no, no. That's okay. 705 00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,379 Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him? 706 00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:52,513 Not since last night. What happened? 707 00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:56,017 Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister tomorrow and we kind of lost him. 708 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:59,728 Oh, well. Then fuck it. 709 00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:01,355 What do you mean, "fuck it"? 710 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:06,227 Bangkok has him now and she'll never let him go. 711 00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:08,067 You hear that? Huh? 712 00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:10,197 - Is this what you wanted? Happy now? ALAN: Phil. 713 00:44:10,356 --> 00:44:14,156 You're wasting your time. These monks take their vow shit seriously. 714 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,490 Look at this. 715 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:18,702 That's the sign of the Chiang Mei monastery just outside of town. 716 00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:21,705 Maybe somebody over there can get him to talk. 717 00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:23,874 718 00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:30,210 Can we just go over this one more time? You got the beer from...? 719 00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:32,595 The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case. 720 00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:35,723 - Right. But who gave it to you? - The bartender. 721 00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:37,429 Right. Okay. 722 00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:39,765 And then you brought them out and I opened them. 723 00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:43,431 Yeah, and Doug had one and he was fine, so it's not the beer. 724 00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:45,858 STU: So, what the hell happened? PHIL: I have no idea. 725 00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:49,021 Hey, guys. Check it out, he's got a Chinese boner. 726 00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:51,440 Alan, come on. Cut it out. 727 00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,199 728 00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,859 729 00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,869 ALAN: The monkey is a pervert. 730 00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:58,905 Come on, that is so wrong. 731 00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:01,790 Hey, don't stop, monkey, keep doing it. 732 00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:04,122 733 00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:13,132 When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language. 734 00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:17,469 Oh, keep doing it! 735 00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:21,143 All right. Thank you. 736 00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,804 We good? 737 00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:26,858 ALAN: Bye, Shannon. Bye, Lil Wayne. 738 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,902 PHIL: Wow. 739 00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:40,655 So beautiful. 740 00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,871 What is this, a P.F. Chang's? 741 00:45:46,327 --> 00:45:48,705 STU: Ah, they're meditating. 742 00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:52,629 - Such a peaceful people. PHIL: Yeah. 743 00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:54,464 Knock, knock! Hello?! 744 00:45:54,627 --> 00:45:57,506 PHIL: Alan, Alan, show some respect. Don't get up, guys. 745 00:45:58,172 --> 00:46:00,425 We brought one of your guys back. 746 00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:03,344 He's really funny. He's really nice and cool. 747 00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:07,231 Hi, how you doing? Uh, are you the one in charge? 748 00:46:07,390 --> 00:46:08,437 749 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:11,022 - Hey! Aah! - Excuse me. Ow! 750 00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,437 - Wait! Ah! ALAN: stop in 751 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,355 PHIL: Just calm down! Aah! 752 00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:15,614 Hold on! Ah! 753 00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:18,151 It's because" Ow! We're talking! Ah! 754 00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:20,490 Stop talking. Goddamn it! 755 00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:21,996 Don't! Stop! 756 00:46:22,154 --> 00:46:23,371 Wait! it's me! 757 00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:24,657 Stop hitting me! 758 00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:25,871 Oh, I get it. 759 00:46:26,450 --> 00:46:27,952 760 00:46:30,204 --> 00:46:32,047 No talk. No talk. 761 00:46:32,331 --> 00:46:35,551 Shh. Okay. We no talk. 762 00:46:39,547 --> 00:46:40,594 Okay. 763 00:46:40,756 --> 00:46:43,054 764 00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:06,325 Late last night, you climbed the walls of our monastery... 765 00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:12,247 shouting out question about love, marriage and the meaning of life. 766 00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:19,175 Poor Brother Han was meditating alone in the garden and you took him. 767 00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:21,840 Oh, my God. 768 00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:24,183 We kidnapped a monk. 769 00:47:24,633 --> 00:47:26,852 Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle. 770 00:47:27,011 --> 00:47:31,938 And we are so sorry about that, but we weren't ourselves last night. 771 00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:34,773 Yup, things kind of spun out of control a little bit. 772 00:47:34,935 --> 00:47:38,940 But there's a boy who's missing and hurt. 773 00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,484 Can you find out if he knows where our friend is? 774 00:47:41,776 --> 00:47:44,905 Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago. 775 00:47:45,071 --> 00:47:47,073 It would be useless to try. 776 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:51,619 Well, maybe he can write down what happened on a piece of paper. 777 00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:54,460 Actually, that would be cheating. Right, Grand Wizard? 778 00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:57,466 - Alan. - I'm afraid Fatty is right. 779 00:47:57,625 --> 00:47:59,627 See? What? 780 00:47:59,794 --> 00:48:03,219 None us will ever know what Brother Han knows. 781 00:48:03,381 --> 00:48:04,633 Oh, all right. 782 00:48:04,799 --> 00:48:07,928 So much for holy people. Bunch of bald assholes. Come on, let's go. 783 00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:11,815 Hey, you know what? FYI, you may wanna put some signs up that say "no talking"... 784 00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:14,816 before you unleash your dragon. STU: Yeah, that was a little rough. 785 00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:19,230 You're welcome for bringing him back safe. You know, we found him in a drunk tank. 786 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,115 STU: We did take him in the first place. 787 00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:23,071 PHIL: Come on, guys, let's go. 788 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,323 Wait. 789 00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:27,663 The Buddha teach: 790 00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:31,625 Every memory lives somewhere deep within. 791 00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:36,505 Perhaps you should bring your question to the garden of meditation. 792 00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:39,550 - Did you understand a word he said? - About two-thirds. 793 00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,676 Something about the garden of meditation? 794 00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:44,760 No, he said he's farting because of his medication. 795 00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:46,340 I get that. 796 00:48:52,054 --> 00:48:55,149 I don't remember anything. 797 00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:57,318 Do you? 798 00:48:57,476 --> 00:49:00,104 No. I got nothing. 799 00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:02,573 Alan? 800 00:49:05,067 --> 00:49:06,284 Alan? 801 00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:07,821 802 00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:12,708 LU: Every memory lives somewhere deep within. 803 00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:14,710 SID: Sweetie? ALAN: What? 804 00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,542 SID: You have visitors. 805 00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:18,547 - Hey, Alan. - Hey, guys. 806 00:49:18,706 --> 00:49:20,379 - Hey, Phil. - Hey, buddy. 807 00:49:20,541 --> 00:49:24,045 - Stu would like to invite you to his wedding. - Is this true, Stuart? 808 00:49:24,670 --> 00:49:26,468 Yeah, why not? it'll be fun. 809 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,218 - What the fuck? PHIL: To Lauren and Stu. 810 00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:32,728 ALL: Cheers. 811 00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:37,854 PHIL: Chow? CHOW: We had a sick night, bitches! 812 00:49:38,392 --> 00:49:40,895 PHIL: Yeah! DOUG: Alan, what the fuck? 813 00:49:41,061 --> 00:49:42,233 814 00:49:42,396 --> 00:49:44,069 ALAN: Ls that person coming to the wedding? 815 00:49:44,231 --> 00:49:45,608 STU: There is no wolf pack. 816 00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:48,448 PHIL: Alan, don't do that! ALAN: "The population in Thailand is ..." 817 00:49:48,611 --> 00:49:52,081 And we're the three best friends That anybody could have 818 00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,420 MAN: Hey! 819 00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:00,539 820 00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:04,085 STU: Yeah! Fuck the police! Fuck the police! 821 00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,140 I know where to go. 822 00:50:20,935 --> 00:50:22,937 What do you think, Alan? 823 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:25,105 Uh, this is the place. 824 00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:26,569 Come on, let's go. 825 00:50:26,732 --> 00:50:28,905 826 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,199 I don't remember any of this. 827 00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:36,788 Yeah, Alan, are you sure this is the place? 828 00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:38,953 Yeah, pretty sure. 829 00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:48,387 Bros, finally! 830 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:51,220 Is he coming or what? I've been waiting all day for him. 831 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,642 Uh, I'm sorry. Waiting for who? 832 00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:55,394 Chow, that dick-ass fuck. 833 00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:59,310 - Why, what's wrong? - Nothing. Nothing's wrong. 834 00:50:59,473 --> 00:51:01,271 Okay, good. Look at this. 835 00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:04,312 Look what I bring for him. Check it out, huh? Huh? 836 00:51:04,812 --> 00:51:07,486 - No, no, no. - $6000, American. 837 00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,742 Wow, it looks so real. 838 00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:11,447 839 00:51:15,781 --> 00:51:18,079 Sorry. Ahem. Sorry. 840 00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:19,744 Alan! What the fuck?! 841 00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:23,665 It's okay! it's okay. The gun, very sensitive. Very sensitive. 842 00:51:23,831 --> 00:51:25,674 - Everybody okay? DANCER: Yeah, okay. 843 00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:29,087 Okay? Then get the fuck back to work! 844 00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:30,470 Come on! Music, please! 845 00:51:30,629 --> 00:51:31,676 846 00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,307 Who has my $6000? 847 00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:37,265 No, no, no. That's Chow's deal. We got nothing to do with that. 848 00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,180 Un-fucking-believable, man. 849 00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:43,396 This guy, if he backs out again, this shit is gonna catch up to him, okay? 850 00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:46,859 He's made a lot of enemies in this town and now they're your enemies. 851 00:51:47,021 --> 00:51:48,147 That's not fair! 852 00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:50,988 Okay, listen. We're just looking for a little kid. 853 00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,868 - Two thousand dollars. - What?! 854 00:51:53,027 --> 00:51:55,871 I don't know. Maybe more. How young you want this kid to be? 855 00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:59,034 No! No, no, no. Sorry. You misunderstood. 856 00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:03,545 We're looking for our friend, 16 years old, Teddy? 857 00:52:03,704 --> 00:52:06,378 Teddy? Yeah, he was here with you guys last night. 858 00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,463 He was? You remember if he left with us? 859 00:52:08,626 --> 00:52:12,176 You were in the corner all night with Kimmy. I didn't see you leave. 860 00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,181 Kimmy? Kimmy? Is she here? 861 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:17,560 Yeah, she's in the back. She just came for her shift. Go talk to her. 862 00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,767 Listen, I'm sorry about everything that happened. 863 00:52:20,929 --> 00:52:23,102 Pay attention what I'm gonna talk to you now. 864 00:52:23,265 --> 00:52:27,520 When you see Chow, you tell him Samir says hello. 865 00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:29,654 - Okay. - But do it like that, okay? 866 00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:31,736 Hello. Like threatening. 867 00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,196 Like ironic. 868 00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:35,535 - Hello. - Okay. 869 00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:39,661 - Hello. - Hello. 870 00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:42,201 - Hello. - More O. Hello. 871 00:52:42,368 --> 00:52:43,415 Hello. 872 00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:46,171 Go away, go away. Fucking make me crazy. 873 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:50,380 Of course I remember him. He was buying shots for everyone. 874 00:52:50,542 --> 00:52:53,921 Nice kid. His parents must be so proud. 875 00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:55,510 Yeah. You have no idea. 876 00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,175 Okay, so do you remember if he left with us? 877 00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:02,722 Yeah, you all were leaving together, but you almost forgot this one right here. 878 00:53:02,888 --> 00:53:05,311 - Right, superstar? - Hmm. 879 00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:09,854 This one was following me around like a little puppy dog all night. 880 00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:13,240 Saying how he fall in love with me and ask me to marry him. 881 00:53:13,691 --> 00:53:15,443 882 00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:16,701 Classic Stu. 883 00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:20,698 - We didn't get married, did we? - Of course not. 884 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,866 We just had some fun in the Chardonnay Room. 885 00:53:23,325 --> 00:53:25,544 What, uh... What happens in the Chardonnay Room? 886 00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:27,626 Let's just stay on task here. 887 00:53:27,788 --> 00:53:30,632 Oh, you know. Dance for him. He tickle me. We had sex. 888 00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,919 - I massage his shoulders. - Fuck! 889 00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:35,463 It's okay. You're not married yet. It's no big deal. 890 00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:37,757 It's cheating, okay? 891 00:53:37,923 --> 00:53:42,224 No offense to you. You're a lovely woman. It's a violation of my moral code. 892 00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:45,060 Don't be sad. Stu, you love it. 893 00:53:45,222 --> 00:53:47,896 You were crying, saying how special it was. 894 00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,981 Wait. Ha, ha. I'm sorry, he was crying? 895 00:53:50,144 --> 00:53:51,487 What a baby. He was crying. 896 00:53:51,645 --> 00:53:55,741 You should have seen him. He was so sexy, the way he move around. 897 00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:59,241 I had to ask him slow down so I don't drop my load too quick. 898 00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,832 Load? What load? 899 00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:06,665 Oh, you know. My sperms. 900 00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:11,590 Eh, I think your English is off. You're talking about my sperms. 901 00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,297 Where would your sperm come from? 902 00:54:14,460 --> 00:54:15,837 From my balls. 903 00:54:16,003 --> 00:54:17,300 Hold on. Back up. 904 00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:20,012 Wait, wait. Are you...? 905 00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,643 Hey. You in Bangkok, sweetie. 906 00:54:22,801 --> 00:54:24,849 There's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt. 907 00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:26,605 STU: Oh! 908 00:54:28,891 --> 00:54:30,564 909 00:54:30,851 --> 00:54:32,353 Oh, my God. 910 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:34,738 PHIL: Wow. 911 00:54:36,356 --> 00:54:38,950 I don't get it. Is this a magic show? 912 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:44,203 Come on, Stu. It was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time. 913 00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:46,454 How's that work? 914 00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:49,712 Shoot my load into you, you shoot your load on the floor. 915 00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:52,214 - Okay. 916 00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:53,878 In my bottom? 917 00:54:54,041 --> 00:54:55,042 918 00:54:55,209 --> 00:54:57,086 Oh, God. 919 00:54:59,713 --> 00:55:01,761 920 00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:07,062 Stu, it's not the end of the world. 921 00:55:07,221 --> 00:55:09,394 I'm sorry, but I am so confused. 922 00:55:10,849 --> 00:55:13,728 I made love to a man with boobies. 923 00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:17,569 Listen, I promise you no one's ever gonna find out about this. 924 00:55:17,731 --> 00:55:19,233 But we just found out about it. 925 00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:21,697 And then we forget. That's what we do. 926 00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:24,739 I've done so much fucked up shit, and I just forget about it. 927 00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:28,535 - You have? - Yeah. You just forget. It goes away. 928 00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:32,747 That might be harder to go away, but in time it'll happen. 929 00:55:32,913 --> 00:55:34,756 That's what I'm gonna do. 930 00:55:35,541 --> 00:55:37,088 I'm just gonna forget about it. 931 00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:38,753 - Never happened. - Right. 932 00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:40,216 933 00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:42,757 Phone. Phone. Who is it? Answer. 934 00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:44,425 Lauren's dad. 935 00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:45,888 It just reminded me. 936 00:55:46,051 --> 00:55:47,598 - Answer it. - I can't. 937 00:55:47,761 --> 00:55:50,514 He might know something about Teddy. We still have a shot. 938 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:54,561 - Get your head back into the fucking game. 939 00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:01,617 - Hello? FOHN: Who takes an all-day fishing trip... 940 00:56:01,775 --> 00:56:03,573 the day before a wedding? 941 00:56:03,735 --> 00:56:07,080 Yeah, ha, ha. I guess it was kind of stupid. 942 00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:08,786 Put Teddy on the phone. 943 00:56:09,741 --> 00:56:13,871 - Uh, Teddy's seasick, actually. FOHN: Seasick? 944 00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:16,711 Teddy's been a maritime deck cadet since he was 9. 945 00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:19,297 Well, that's weird, because he's puking everywhere. 946 00:56:19,459 --> 00:56:22,554 I'm gonna tell you something that you did not know. 947 00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,090 I don't like you. 948 00:56:24,256 --> 00:56:26,930 - Yeah, I knew that already. FOHN: My daughter chooses you... 949 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:29,094 that's her problem. - Hey, it's Phil Winnick. 950 00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:32,515 Listen, I apologize. We've been reeling in some crazy marlin, and I just want... 951 00:56:32,681 --> 00:56:34,274 952 00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:36,147 ALAN: Phil! STU: Phil! 953 00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:37,311 PHIL: Jesus. 954 00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:39,571 STU: Phil? You're okay. PHIL: Fuck me. 955 00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:40,982 Give us back our monkey. 956 00:56:41,148 --> 00:56:42,775 What monkey? Get your own monkey! 957 00:56:43,191 --> 00:56:45,319 Come on, you asshole. The fucking monkey. 958 00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:47,329 Come on. 959 00:56:47,487 --> 00:56:49,615 Any time, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us. 960 00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:51,124 This is our monkey. 961 00:56:51,283 --> 00:56:54,913 Alan, no one's getting shot over a fucking monkey. Hand him over now. 962 00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:58,252 Oh, God, I never get to keep no monkeys. 963 00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:02,674 964 00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:05,214 Hey, check it out. He's got a banana on his helmet. 965 00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:07,678 - These guys are the real deal. PHIL: What's happening? 966 00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:10,845 Hold on. How did this happen? Do you know where our friend is? 967 00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:13,855 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, 16 years old, Asian kid? 968 00:57:14,014 --> 00:57:16,187 969 00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:18,023 No, I don't understand what he said. 970 00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:20,612 What did he say? What did he say?! 971 00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:23,445 He said, "Fuck you and your question." 972 00:57:23,607 --> 00:57:25,154 973 00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:26,694 PHIL: Oh, my arm! 974 00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:29,033 Poor Phil! Phil, are you okay? 975 00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:33,409 PHIL: Oh, I got shot. Fuck! Fuck, guys. 976 00:57:33,575 --> 00:57:37,876 It's all right, Phil. We'll figure this all out and get the monkey back. I promise. 977 00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,006 No one gives a fuck about the monkey, Alan! 978 00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:42,384 Oh, shit, look at my arm. 979 00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:45,386 What the fuck is going on?! 980 00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:48,139 Stu, am I gonna be okay? You're a doctor. 981 00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:51,017 I don't know. Let me look, let me look. 982 00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:52,390 983 00:57:52,552 --> 00:57:54,225 What? What? 984 00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:55,890 Stu, come here. No, look at it. 985 00:57:56,056 --> 00:57:59,230 Stuart Price, get your ass back over here! 986 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:00,815 STU: You got shot! PHIL: I know! 987 00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,459 PHIL: Hey. - Yo. You all right? 988 00:58:19,621 --> 00:58:21,373 Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay. 989 00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:26,137 Actually, bullet just grazed my arm. Eight stitches. 990 00:58:26,628 --> 00:58:28,756 Only cost $6. How's that even possible? 991 00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,721 How's any of this even possible? 992 00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:37,936 I mean, if I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead. 993 00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:42,440 What are we gonna do? 994 00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:50,118 I'm sorry, guys. This wasn't part of the plan. 995 00:58:51,987 --> 00:58:53,785 What plan, Alan? 996 00:58:55,073 --> 00:58:56,700 I've said too much already. 997 00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:07,795 Alan, what plan? 998 00:59:09,421 --> 00:59:11,139 This is all Teddy's fault. 999 00:59:11,298 --> 00:59:12,800 PHIL: What are you talking about, Alan? 1000 00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:15,139 Why is he here? He's not part of the wolf pack. 1001 00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:18,146 Alan, what did you do? 1002 00:59:18,305 --> 00:59:21,434 It's not my fault. Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag. 1003 00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:24,235 What bag? 1004 00:59:24,394 --> 00:59:27,489 The marshmallows. I had a separate bag just for Teddy. 1005 00:59:27,647 --> 00:59:31,151 But it was dark, it was hard to keep track, and then you almost sat on them. 1006 00:59:31,318 --> 00:59:33,662 I couldn't tell which was which. It was mayhem. 1007 00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,868 What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan? 1008 00:59:36,281 --> 00:59:38,784 Alan? What did you do? 1009 00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:42,705 Well, isn't it obvious? I spiked them with muscle relaxers. 1010 00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:45,169 And, plus, my ADHD medication. 1011 00:59:45,332 --> 00:59:47,300 - What?! - You drugged us again?! 1012 00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:51,134 Not you. I just wanted to knock out Teddy so we could enjoy the weekend. 1013 00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:55,972 "Enjoy the weekend"'? Alan, you told me that you didn't do anything. 1014 00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:57,807 Alan, you swore to God. 1015 00:59:57,969 --> 01:00:00,222 I just wanted things to stay the same. 1016 01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:02,561 Look at my face! 1017 01:00:02,849 --> 01:00:04,351 You ruined my life! 1018 01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:05,940 You're not my friend. 1019 01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:08,856 Don't say that, Phil. Are you serious? Even in America? 1020 01:00:09,022 --> 01:00:12,868 - Yes! 1021 01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,369 Don't start crying, Alan. 1022 01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:16,030 You're the bearded devil! 1023 01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:19,325 You liked it. You smiled at me when I held up the marshmallows. 1024 01:00:19,741 --> 01:00:23,371 Because I like marshmallows, you fucking psycho! 1025 01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:27,341 Hey! Whoa, whoa, hold on! Stop! 1026 01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:29,046 - Guys, guys. Enough. - Why?! 1027 01:00:29,209 --> 01:00:31,382 Why, Alan? s Why?! 1028 01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:34,386 Because we're the three best friends, remember? 1029 01:00:34,714 --> 01:00:36,216 Remember? 1030 01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:39,557 Stu, that's enough. That's enough. 1031 01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:41,187 Fuck. 1032 01:00:41,346 --> 01:00:42,598 1033 01:00:42,764 --> 01:00:45,563 Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta stick together. 1034 01:00:51,231 --> 01:00:55,532 - Alan, what's that written on your belly? - What? Huh? 1035 01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:59,574 "Lebua Hotel. Saturday, 6 p.m." Did you write that? 1036 01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:01,161 No. 1037 01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:04,832 Shit, that's in 20 minutes. 1038 01:01:05,287 --> 01:01:07,164 What about England? Are we friends there? 1039 01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:09,583 I told you, it was in the heat of the moment. 1040 01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:12,753 We're still friends, all over the world. 1041 01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:15,638 - Even Great Britain? - Yeah. Mm-hm. 1042 01:01:17,591 --> 01:01:19,514 Well, what about you, Stu? 1043 01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:22,061 We'll see. 1044 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,682 Gentlemen, follow me. 1045 01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:29,815 All right. 1046 01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:40,952 MAN: Here you go. 1047 01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,077 KINGSLEY: Well. 1048 01:01:45,994 --> 01:01:48,588 It's about time. Sit down. 1049 01:01:48,747 --> 01:01:50,715 - Come on, sit, sit, sit. - Okay. 1050 01:01:51,082 --> 01:01:53,210 Wow, you guys look like shit. 1051 01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,550 PHIL: Uh, do we know you? - Hey. 1052 01:01:58,715 --> 01:02:01,935 Take off your fucking hat. You're in a restaurant, for chrissake. 1053 01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:09,650 Okay, listen. Uh, we have no clue what's going on here. 1054 01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:13,939 You know, they sell a plum whiskey here. It's fucking unreal. 1055 01:02:14,105 --> 01:02:16,949 Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up. 1056 01:02:17,108 --> 01:02:18,155 1057 01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:21,322 Oh, I'm sorry, you guys already got fucked up, didn't you? 1058 01:02:21,488 --> 01:02:22,705 1059 01:02:22,864 --> 01:02:25,788 Uh, listen. I'm a little confused. How did you...? 1060 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:28,500 Yeah, you know what? I'm a little fucking confused. 1061 01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:29,663 Where's Chow?! 1062 01:02:30,330 --> 01:02:35,632 Where is Chow with the fucking account code and the fucking password?! 1063 01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:46,309 We don't know anything about any codes. We're just trying to find our friend. 1064 01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:52,106 - Teddy. - Yes. Teddy. 1065 01:02:52,269 --> 01:02:53,361 Have you seen him? 1066 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:54,692 1067 01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:56,356 Come here. 1068 01:02:56,523 --> 01:02:59,777 Hmm. Let's see. Oh. 1069 01:03:00,568 --> 01:03:01,694 There's Teddy. 1070 01:03:03,029 --> 01:03:06,659 PHIL: Holy shit. it's from last night. STU: Hmm. 1071 01:03:07,993 --> 01:03:09,620 Who are you? 1072 01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,083 I'm a businessman... 1073 01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:14,625 and I have invested a large chunk of capital in your friend Chow. 1074 01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:19,300 And in return, he was supposed to transfer our profits electronically... 1075 01:03:19,462 --> 01:03:22,807 about five fucking minutes ago. 1076 01:03:23,675 --> 01:03:27,350 So last night, we took Teddy as insurance. 1077 01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:30,686 Oh, my God. Is he okay? 1078 01:03:31,099 --> 01:03:33,397 Oh, my God. I wasn't done talking. 1079 01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,487 You tell Chow... 1080 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:41,322 that we are having breakfast on the roof of this hotel tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. 1081 01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:43,737 Now, if he makes the transfer, you will get Teddy. 1082 01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:47,999 If not, well, then, hey, you know? It's Bangkok. 1083 01:03:50,201 --> 01:03:52,203 That's your cue to get the fuck out of here. 1084 01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:58,718 1085 01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:00,671 Hey, you know what? Leave the hat. 1086 01:04:02,589 --> 01:04:04,011 Alan, leave the hat. 1087 01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,765 Attaboy. 1088 01:04:14,434 --> 01:04:16,061 1089 01:04:17,604 --> 01:04:20,778 We're fucked. Chow's dead. What do we do now? 1090 01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:25,320 The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow. This whole thing's about a bank account. 1091 01:04:25,487 --> 01:04:26,909 1092 01:04:27,072 --> 01:04:29,450 Let's just go back to the hotel, Search Chow's body. 1093 01:04:29,616 --> 01:04:32,369 And hopefully the password's in his wallet or something. 1094 01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:35,289 STU: What if it isn't? I mean, they're gonna kill Teddy. 1095 01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:40,052 Just relax. We have until 8 a.m. tomorrow to figure it out. 1096 01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:45,348 First the monkey, now my hat. 1097 01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,226 How much worse can this day get? 1098 01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:51,475 1099 01:04:51,638 --> 01:04:53,811 Jesus Christ. 1100 01:05:01,022 --> 01:05:05,619 Well, we're living here in Alantown 1101 01:05:06,820 --> 01:05:11,326 And he's driven our lives into the ground 1102 01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:16,208 When we woke up We were wasted and drunk 1103 01:05:16,371 --> 01:05:18,544 Phil got shot 1104 01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:22,586 We got beaten by a monk 1105 01:05:24,629 --> 01:05:28,725 I was happy, and my life was good 1106 01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:34,189 Getting married like a dentist should 1107 01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:38,318 Roasting marshmallows on a stick 1108 01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:41,355 I got fucked in the ass 1109 01:05:41,521 --> 01:05:44,240 By a girl with a dick 1110 01:05:44,399 --> 01:05:45,491 1111 01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,903 I remember that. 1112 01:05:50,155 --> 01:05:54,456 And we 're living here in Alantown 1113 01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:58,788 STU: There's water everywhere. 1114 01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:01,963 Yeah, that's because it melted, Stu. The fucking power's out. 1115 01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:05,129 "With an inadequate electrical grid serving millions of people... 1116 01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:08,219 Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year." 1117 01:06:08,381 --> 01:06:10,224 PHIL: Seriously, Alan, that's enough. 1118 01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:12,435 Out of the way. 1119 01:06:14,554 --> 01:06:16,352 1120 01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:20,193 We got it. 1121 01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:22,149 1122 01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:24,235 ALAN: Ghost! There's a ghost! 1123 01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:27,571 CHOW: Motherfucker! 1124 01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:31,534 Chow, calm down! Chow, calm down! 1125 01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:34,491 - Fucking kill on me! - No, no, no. Ah. 1126 01:06:34,657 --> 01:06:36,330 1127 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,079 It's okay. 1128 01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:40,918 Relax. 1129 01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:43,546 1130 01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:46,006 PHIL: Shh. CHOW: Shh. 1131 01:06:49,589 --> 01:06:53,435 That's it. it's just us. Breathe. 1132 01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:55,846 - Chow so cold. PHIL: I'm gonna warm you up. 1133 01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:58,606 Chow so cold. Chow so cold. 1134 01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:01,109 You did good, buddy. You did good. 1135 01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:02,519 Chow did good. 1136 01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:09,697 PHIL: Feeling better? 1137 01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:12,070 You all right? You warm enough? 1138 01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:15,161 I don't know. Come feel my balls and tell me. 1139 01:07:15,323 --> 01:07:18,953 I've been locked in a fucking ice box all day. 1140 01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:22,797 Hey, Alan, you want my awesome sunglasses, you just ask Chow. 1141 01:07:22,956 --> 01:07:24,629 You don't have to kill me. 1142 01:07:24,791 --> 01:07:28,762 Chow, nobody killed you. You were already dead. You didn't have a pulse. 1143 01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:30,672 Oh, you never do blow before? 1144 01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:34,217 Sometime your heart stop, start up again. Read a book. 1145 01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:36,644 Look, I'm sorry. We're just having a bad day. 1146 01:07:36,803 --> 01:07:40,148 Oh, you having a bad day? Did you die? 1147 01:07:41,015 --> 01:07:42,141 I got shot. 1148 01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:43,810 But did you die? 1149 01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:48,027 Chow, some guy told us that you've got a bank code or something... 1150 01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:52,740 and if we don't bring it to him first thing in the morning, he's gonna kill Teddy. 1151 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:55,826 Who, Kingsley? Pfft. He harmless. 1152 01:07:55,989 --> 01:07:59,414 Don't worry. I got the bank codes. 1153 01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:03,083 Great. All right, we gotta meet him at 8 a.m. 1154 01:08:03,246 --> 01:08:04,964 Who is that fucking guy, anyway? 1155 01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:06,670 Invest in my business. 1156 01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:08,547 Yeah? What business is that? 1157 01:08:08,710 --> 01:08:11,884 It's called Not Your Business, okay? 1158 01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:14,181 So where's the monkey? 1159 01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:15,849 - The monkey? - Yeah. 1160 01:08:16,009 --> 01:08:20,355 I stashed the account number and password in his vest. Where is he? 1161 01:08:20,930 --> 01:08:22,182 1162 01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:25,818 - Why would you do that? - Safekeeping, pretty boy. 1163 01:08:25,977 --> 01:08:28,025 I got a lot of heat on my ass. 1164 01:08:28,187 --> 01:08:33,284 I got FBI, Bangkok P.D., Interpol, MSNBC. 1165 01:08:33,901 --> 01:08:36,029 That monkey snorting coke with me all night... 1166 01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:38,744 jerking me off while I watch Stu fuck with ladyboy. 1167 01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:41,326 STU: Ugh. - He not going anywhere. 1168 01:08:41,492 --> 01:08:43,039 We don't have the monkey, Chow. 1169 01:08:43,202 --> 01:08:46,001 No, some Russian thugs took him from us. 1170 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,041 CHOW: Oh, you fucking guys. 1171 01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,965 Okay, no problem. 1172 01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:53,175 We just have to get him back. 1173 01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:56,224 - From where? - Same place we took him from. 1174 01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:19,990 This monkey isn't just normal monkey. 1175 01:09:26,204 --> 01:09:27,251 1176 01:09:28,081 --> 01:09:29,628 1177 01:09:33,086 --> 01:09:36,431 CHOW: Think of him like monkey drug mule. 1178 01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:40,389 He take coke to buyer... 1179 01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:44,392 and deliver cash to dealer. 1180 01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:47,187 He middleman. 1181 01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:50,194 Dealer never handle drug directly. 1182 01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:51,525 He clean. 1183 01:09:51,688 --> 01:09:53,281 1184 01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:54,907 That's terrible. 1185 01:09:55,066 --> 01:09:58,286 Not terrible. What you talking about? It's fucking genius. 1186 01:09:58,444 --> 01:10:01,163 You ever see monkey go to jail? 1187 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,576 We just signal monkey for deal, he come close... 1188 01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:07,245 we take his vest and that's that. 1189 01:10:07,412 --> 01:10:09,790 Maybe get some blow too. You know, just bump. 1190 01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,378 No. No more bumps, Chow. 1191 01:10:13,918 --> 01:10:15,795 Okay, this is ridiculous. 1192 01:10:16,629 --> 01:10:18,006 1193 01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:20,470 Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Signal monkey. 1194 01:10:26,013 --> 01:10:27,060 1195 01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:35,656 - All right, here we go. - Come on. 1196 01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:42,613 How'd we wind up with the monkey last night? 1197 01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:46,830 Well, I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute, so we stole him. 1198 01:10:50,037 --> 01:10:51,505 1199 01:10:57,795 --> 01:10:59,047 1200 01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,590 So stupid. 1201 01:11:00,757 --> 01:11:02,100 Stu, ready to grab vest? 1202 01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:05,474 I... Okay. I just grab it? 1203 01:11:05,636 --> 01:11:08,264 - Yeah, just do it, Stu. Just do it. - Hey, monkey! 1204 01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:10,149 PHIL: Alan, shh. 1205 01:11:10,308 --> 01:11:12,026 1206 01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:15,692 - Fuck! CHOW: We gotta go right now. 1207 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,198 1208 01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:18,824 Pull that fucking monkey in! 1209 01:11:18,983 --> 01:11:20,155 I'm trying! 1210 01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:25,865 Aah! Fuck! 1211 01:11:29,702 --> 01:11:31,204 CHOW: Get that monkey in here, Stu! 1212 01:11:31,370 --> 01:11:33,623 He won't let go! 1213 01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:35,671 Stu, get back in the car right now! 1214 01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:39,630 STU: I'm trying! Slow down! 1215 01:11:42,048 --> 01:11:43,391 1216 01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:46,852 He's so strong! 1217 01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:52,016 Let go, you fucking monkey! 1218 01:11:52,183 --> 01:11:53,400 1219 01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:55,061 - Look out! - Aah! 1220 01:11:55,228 --> 01:11:56,901 CHOW: Oh, shit. Tight squeeze. 1221 01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:02,361 I got him! I got him! 1222 01:12:03,402 --> 01:12:04,449 1223 01:12:04,612 --> 01:12:07,206 - Where's the code, Chow? - Check his little vest. 1224 01:12:11,035 --> 01:12:13,003 - You got it, Alan? - Yeah, I got it, Phil. 1225 01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:16,382 - Slow down, slow down, Chow! - Hold on, gay boys! 1226 01:12:20,253 --> 01:12:22,176 - Holy shit! - Fuck. 1227 01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:23,385 1228 01:12:23,548 --> 01:12:25,266 Don't worry, I got this shit. 1229 01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,307 Pig! 1230 01:12:31,055 --> 01:12:33,023 1231 01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:34,229 Oh, my word! 1232 01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:36,269 Ha, ha. Sorry, Stu. My bad. 1233 01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:43,283 Oh, shit. 1234 01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:45,949 Get down! 1235 01:12:46,112 --> 01:12:47,409 What the fuck?! 1236 01:12:47,572 --> 01:12:48,698 1237 01:12:48,865 --> 01:12:51,459 Oh, no! They shot the monkey! 1238 01:12:52,326 --> 01:12:54,294 They shot the monkey! 1239 01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:56,046 I'm at my wits' end! 1240 01:12:58,958 --> 01:13:00,756 He's coming back around. 1241 01:13:01,794 --> 01:13:02,841 Look out! 1242 01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:09,264 - Holy fuck. - Oh, no. 1243 01:13:12,013 --> 01:13:14,232 1244 01:13:21,772 --> 01:13:23,399 1245 01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:28,863 1246 01:13:29,030 --> 01:13:31,249 PHIL: Everybody all right? ALAN: Yeah. 1247 01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:35,412 Whoo! I have such an erection right now. 1248 01:13:35,661 --> 01:13:37,334 1249 01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:41,341 STU: Are you for real? 1250 01:13:42,960 --> 01:13:44,553 1251 01:13:45,463 --> 01:13:46,589 ALAN: Shh. 1252 01:13:46,756 --> 01:13:50,181 It's okay. it's okay. it's okay. 1253 01:13:50,343 --> 01:13:51,936 1254 01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:53,767 It's okay. 1255 01:13:55,514 --> 01:13:57,937 They're gonna take good care of you here, okay? 1256 01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:01,400 What's that? 1257 01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:05,942 Oh, yeah. Of course. 1258 01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:08,861 Cigarettes, got them right here. Here you go. 1259 01:14:13,324 --> 01:14:14,701 There you go. 1260 01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:20,001 Deep breath. 1261 01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:21,882 Good. Good. 1262 01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:24,544 Smoke it in. 1263 01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:27,213 Breathe the smoke into your tiny little lungs. 1264 01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:28,723 There you go. 1265 01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:32,017 It's funny. I've never been much of a smoker... 1266 01:14:32,176 --> 01:14:33,223 1267 01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:35,480 but, boy, does it look cool on you. 1268 01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:38,141 PHIL: Alan! Come on, let's go! 1269 01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,320 I'm gonna miss you, monkey. 1270 01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:48,735 I wish monkeys could Skype. 1271 01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,905 Maybe one day. 1272 01:14:56,534 --> 01:14:58,252 1273 01:15:00,705 --> 01:15:02,378 PHIL: Come on, get in. ALAN: Scoot over. 1274 01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:05,510 - Oh, we gotta go see Kingsley. PHIL: He's gonna be fine. 1275 01:15:11,924 --> 01:15:13,676 1276 01:15:19,473 --> 01:15:20,725 [SINGING JIM CROCE'S "TIME IN A BOTTLE"] 1277 01:15:20,891 --> 01:15:23,861 If I could save time in a bottle 1278 01:15:24,645 --> 01:15:28,775 The first thing that I'd like to do 1279 01:15:29,775 --> 01:15:32,153 Is to save every day 1280 01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:36,036 Till eternity passes away 1281 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:38,117 Just to spend them with you 1282 01:15:38,325 --> 01:15:40,168 Are you guys seriously this calm? 1283 01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,080 Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo. 1284 01:15:43,247 --> 01:15:45,375 I give him money, he gives us Teddy. 1285 01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:47,919 Ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff? 1286 01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:51,339 I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this. 1287 01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:53,223 I met my wife at one of these things. 1288 01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:54,474 1289 01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:55,976 You have a wife? 1290 01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:58,433 Yeah. We married 15 years. 1291 01:15:58,596 --> 01:16:01,725 What, Chow not good-looking enough for woman? 1292 01:16:02,391 --> 01:16:03,563 No, that's cool. 1293 01:16:04,018 --> 01:16:05,065 1294 01:16:05,853 --> 01:16:07,696 - Let's do this. - Welcome to the Tower Club. 1295 01:16:07,855 --> 01:16:10,529 Blah, blah, blah. Who cares? 1296 01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:14,115 PHIL: it's okay. CHOW: Stop. Chow crossing. 1297 01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:19,159 Hey, Kingsley. 1298 01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:21,578 - Well, well. CHOW: Propecia looking nice. 1299 01:16:21,744 --> 01:16:22,836 1300 01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:24,497 Whew, you been hitting the gym? 1301 01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:28,171 Yes, I am, actually. Thank you for noticing, Chow. 1302 01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,712 Hey, guys, have a seat. 1303 01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:32,179 Where's Teddy? 1304 01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:35,012 He's waiting downstairs in my car. We'll send him up... 1305 01:16:35,174 --> 01:16:37,677 when the transfer is complete. CHOW: Tell you what: 1306 01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:42,189 Give me extra 50 grand, you keep Teddy. And I throw in this other fat fuck for free. 1307 01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:43,645 [KINGSLEY, CHOW AND ALAN LAUGHING] 1308 01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:45,025 Oh, jeez. Chow. 1309 01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:47,278 Can we move this along? 1310 01:16:47,812 --> 01:16:50,156 Alan, account number? 1311 01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:52,241 Come On, Come On, Come On. 1312 01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:56,654 Uh, eight-one-four... 1313 01:16:57,530 --> 01:16:59,407 K, as in "knife"... 1314 01:16:59,573 --> 01:17:02,292 two-three-nine-eight. 1315 01:17:03,702 --> 01:17:04,874 Password? 1316 01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:06,380 "Baloney1 1317 01:17:07,123 --> 01:17:08,420 Your password is "baloney1"? 1318 01:17:08,582 --> 01:17:11,506 It used to be just "baloney." Now they make you add number. 1319 01:17:12,002 --> 01:17:15,381 Really fucking annoying. Okay. 1320 01:17:16,006 --> 01:17:17,474 1321 01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:23,723 1322 01:17:23,889 --> 01:17:25,015 1323 01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:26,809 - And it's that easy. CHOW: Ta-da. 1324 01:17:26,976 --> 01:17:28,023 1325 01:17:28,185 --> 01:17:29,812 Oh, look, you sunk my battleship. 1326 01:17:29,979 --> 01:17:31,401 1327 01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:33,362 Great. Now can we please have Teddy? 1328 01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:37,032 Uh, yeah. Bring him up. 1329 01:17:37,695 --> 01:17:38,742 BODYGUARD: Good to go. 1330 01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:42,909 CHOW: Ha, ha. See? We go to your wedding, we have fun, I bust a nut. 1331 01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:46,079 PHIL: We did it, Stu. it's over. 1332 01:17:46,245 --> 01:17:48,213 1333 01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:57,556 OFFICER: This is Bangkok Police. Everybody down. 1334 01:17:57,715 --> 01:18:00,264 [PEOPLE SCREAMING AND SPEAKING IN THAI] 1335 01:18:00,926 --> 01:18:03,930 CHOW: No! Kingsley, you're fucking 5-0? 1336 01:18:04,305 --> 01:18:05,602 Gotcha, Leslie. 1337 01:18:05,764 --> 01:18:06,936 Get him out of here. 1338 01:18:07,099 --> 01:18:08,521 Go. Good, good! We're good! 1339 01:18:13,772 --> 01:18:15,695 CHOW: How the fuck...?! 1340 01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:17,451 Samir? 1341 01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:21,782 You fucked me over 6 grand? You camel jockey. 1342 01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:24,033 You spit to me? 1343 01:18:24,366 --> 01:18:25,959 You spit to me? 1344 01:18:26,118 --> 01:18:28,291 Hey, 6 grand this time, 8 grand last time. 1345 01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:30,582 It's not the money, man. It's the principle. 1346 01:18:30,748 --> 01:18:33,627 Principle? Nigga, please. We both dead inside. 1347 01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:35,794 You call me nigga? Huh? Don't call me nigga. 1348 01:18:35,961 --> 01:18:39,135 CHOW: Toodleoo, motherfucker! - Called me nigga. Racist asshole, man. 1349 01:18:40,799 --> 01:18:43,268 KINGSLEY: You guys okay? - What the fuck's going on? 1350 01:18:43,427 --> 01:18:45,304 Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol. 1351 01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:47,144 - You're a cop? - Yes. 1352 01:18:47,306 --> 01:18:49,729 This sting operation's been in place for weeks. 1353 01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:53,112 When Samir told us that your friend was lost... 1354 01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,106 we took advantage of that information. 1355 01:18:55,564 --> 01:18:58,158 - I'm sorry. - Oh, no. 1356 01:18:58,317 --> 01:19:02,117 - So can Teddy come out of the car now? - No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fucking car. 1357 01:19:02,279 --> 01:19:04,782 They don't have him. They never had him. 1358 01:19:04,949 --> 01:19:07,168 They just needed us to bring them Chow. 1359 01:19:07,534 --> 01:19:09,252 They used Teddy as bait. 1360 01:19:09,411 --> 01:19:10,458 1361 01:19:10,621 --> 01:19:12,123 Do you have any leads at all? 1362 01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:16,010 No. We've checked everywhere, no one has seen him. I'm sorry. 1363 01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:19,179 If you haven't found him by now... 1364 01:19:19,546 --> 01:19:22,095 I'm afraid Bangkok has him. 1365 01:19:26,387 --> 01:19:29,266 Why do people keep saying that? 1366 01:19:31,308 --> 01:19:32,810 Stu... 1367 01:19:33,686 --> 01:19:35,404 it's time. 1368 01:19:40,276 --> 01:19:41,653 Phil. 1369 01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:43,658 I'm sorry. 1370 01:19:43,821 --> 01:19:44,868 1371 01:19:45,030 --> 01:19:47,158 Don't say that. Please. 1372 01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:49,418 No, this time we really fucked up. 1373 01:19:49,576 --> 01:19:51,499 Oh, God. How bad? 1374 01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:53,539 Like no wedding bad? 1375 01:19:53,706 --> 01:19:55,208 Yeah. 1376 01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:57,927 Little worse than that. 1377 01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:04,179 I don't know what to tell you. 1378 01:20:15,561 --> 01:20:17,063 1379 01:20:24,028 --> 01:20:25,746 Okay, how about this? 1380 01:20:25,904 --> 01:20:27,872 He fell off the fishing boat and drowned. 1381 01:20:29,533 --> 01:20:30,659 No. 1382 01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:33,579 Okay, I got it. 1383 01:20:33,746 --> 01:20:35,874 Teddy was hit by a truck. 1384 01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:39,051 - Alan. - Not a good time, Phil. Kind of busy. 1385 01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:41,052 How many people get run over here? 1386 01:20:41,211 --> 01:20:43,509 Ugh. Over 1200 a year, Phil. 1387 01:20:43,672 --> 01:20:46,767 Perfect. His body was too mangled to recover. 1388 01:20:46,925 --> 01:20:48,051 Case closed. 1389 01:20:49,803 --> 01:20:51,430 Can I have more ice, please? 1390 01:20:52,598 --> 01:20:54,066 I'm not gonna lie to Lauren. 1391 01:20:54,224 --> 01:20:57,398 Stu, do you want this or not? 1392 01:20:57,728 --> 01:21:00,231 Look at what I've done, Phil. 1393 01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:02,658 What I do. 1394 01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:07,788 I have a weakness for prostitutes. 1395 01:21:08,155 --> 01:21:09,873 All kinds, apparently. 1396 01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:17,214 I have a demon in me. 1397 01:21:18,207 --> 01:21:19,754 So what? 1398 01:21:20,376 --> 01:21:25,724 Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren. I'll just let her live her life without me. 1399 01:21:25,881 --> 01:21:26,928 Stu. 1400 01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:30,391 I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm never coming back. 1401 01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:33,267 I'm getting off the hamster wheel. 1402 01:21:34,306 --> 01:21:36,559 I'm gonna stay here in Bangkok. 1403 01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:38,853 I think I belong here. 1404 01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:41,693 Open up a little dentist office. 1405 01:21:42,564 --> 01:21:44,566 Teeth cleanings with a happy ending. 1406 01:21:46,151 --> 01:21:47,869 1407 01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:50,785 You sure about this? 1408 01:21:57,955 --> 01:22:00,253 Hey! What the crud? 1409 01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:03,009 Power's out, Alan. 1410 01:22:06,088 --> 01:22:07,465 1411 01:22:07,631 --> 01:22:09,258 - Doug. 1412 01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:10,677 I need answers, man. 1413 01:22:10,843 --> 01:22:13,346 - I know, um ... - Doug, who are you talking to? 1414 01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,640 - Give me the phone. - No, that's a private... 1415 01:22:15,806 --> 01:22:17,524 - Lauren? 1416 01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:20,357 Phil? Tell me what's going on right now. 1417 01:22:21,019 --> 01:22:22,612 PHIL: We lost your little brother. 1418 01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:24,110 LAUREN: What? 1419 01:22:24,273 --> 01:22:26,696 PHIL: Bangkok has him now. 1420 01:22:27,943 --> 01:22:29,820 1421 01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:35,538 PHIL: We gotta take the stairs. 1422 01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:37,169 You're in Bangkok? 1423 01:22:40,956 --> 01:22:44,381 STU: Ew! That's a finger! 1424 01:22:44,543 --> 01:22:45,886 Put Stu on the phone. 1425 01:22:46,879 --> 01:22:50,349 ALAN: "Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year." 1426 01:22:50,507 --> 01:22:52,601 PHIL: Stu really just doesn't wanna talk to anybody. 1427 01:22:53,427 --> 01:22:54,644 STU: Water. PHIL: Power's out. 1428 01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:57,727 CHOW: Come on, Stewie. Use that big Jewish brain. 1429 01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:00,143 PHIL: He's just not up for it ... 1430 01:23:00,309 --> 01:23:02,732 - Phil? Phil. Phil, give me the phone. PHIL: it's Lauren. 1431 01:23:02,895 --> 01:23:06,991 - I know. I need to talk to her. - I'm handling this. I'll handle this, Stu! 1432 01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:09,868 - You're gonna break her heart! - Hey, sweetheart, it's me. 1433 01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:11,074 I'm so sorry! 1434 01:23:11,236 --> 01:23:14,831 Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he mean, you lost Teddy? 1435 01:23:14,990 --> 01:23:17,038 STU: What? ls that what Phil said? 1436 01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:19,829 No, no, no. We misplaced Teddy. 1437 01:23:19,995 --> 01:23:23,295 But we're all good now. We're headed back to the resort. See you soon. 1438 01:23:24,249 --> 01:23:25,751 I love you so much. 1439 01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:29,843 And I gotta go, but I'll see you soon. Bye. 1440 01:23:32,424 --> 01:23:33,926 Stu! 1441 01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:38,225 - Stu...! ALAN: Ah! 1442 01:23:39,932 --> 01:23:42,355 Taxi! Taxi! 1443 01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:45,943 Come on! Come on, Alan! Come on! 1444 01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:49,484 PHIL: Hey, you mind filling us in? STU: Okay. 1445 01:23:49,650 --> 01:23:51,903 - Now, when we woke up, the power was out. - Yeah. 1446 01:23:52,069 --> 01:23:53,946 And you found Teddy's finger in what? 1447 01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:57,787 - In a bowl of water. - But it didn't start out as water. 1448 01:23:57,950 --> 01:24:00,544 - It was ice. - Exactly. Teddy got ice from the machine... 1449 01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:03,501 came back to the room, put his finger on ice, fell asleep. 1450 01:24:03,664 --> 01:24:07,043 What do you do if you wake up and your finger's in a bowl of melted ice? 1451 01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:10,964 I'd get more ice, Stu, on the 15th fucking floor! 1452 01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:14,224 Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out ... 1453 01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:17,512 Holy shit. Of course. 1454 01:24:17,678 --> 01:24:19,430 Of course, he's in the ice machine. 1455 01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:21,644 STU: Alan, no! 1456 01:24:25,102 --> 01:24:26,570 It's on 10! 1457 01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:27,980 Sir, is the elevator stuck? 1458 01:24:28,146 --> 01:24:29,398 1459 01:24:29,565 --> 01:24:31,988 - Come on. STU: Go. Go, go, go. 1460 01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,492 Ten! This is it! Teddy! 1461 01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:37,907 STU: Teddy! Teddy! 1462 01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,996 PHIL: Look out, look out. 1463 01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:44,083 1464 01:24:45,247 --> 01:24:46,715 1465 01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:50,844 - Oh, my God! Teddy! - He's okay! He's okay! 1466 01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:52,346 Hey, you okay? 1467 01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,681 You okay, man? 1468 01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:55,841 Where am I? 1469 01:24:56,008 --> 01:24:58,181 You're in an elevator in the middle of Bangkok. 1470 01:24:58,343 --> 01:25:00,687 But we're gonna get you out of here. It's gonna be fine. 1471 01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:02,268 TEDDY: Hey, Stu... 1472 01:25:02,514 --> 01:25:04,312 nice tattoo. 1473 01:25:04,474 --> 01:25:05,976 1474 01:25:06,143 --> 01:25:08,316 STU: Thanks, man. - All right, let's do this. 1475 01:25:08,478 --> 01:25:09,946 Come on. Come on, come on. 1476 01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:12,858 PHIL: Doug, we found him. Yeah! 1477 01:25:13,025 --> 01:25:16,700 I know, I know, but we're on our way. Okay, bye. 1478 01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:20,207 All right, guests are arriving, people are starting to ask questions... 1479 01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,367 but we can still pull this off. 1480 01:25:22,534 --> 01:25:24,787 - How? - I don't know. Like, a taxi? 1481 01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,626 - Chow's speedboat. - What? 1482 01:25:26,788 --> 01:25:29,337 Last thing I remember was getting off Chow's speedboat. 1483 01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:31,297 Chow has a speedboat? 1484 01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,428 The Perfect Life. 1485 01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:35,051 Come on. 1486 01:25:35,213 --> 01:25:36,681 1487 01:25:38,925 --> 01:25:41,144 Stu, get that back line. 1488 01:25:42,763 --> 01:25:44,606 ALAN: Good jump, Phil! 1489 01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:48,519 - You all right? ALAN: Yeah. 1490 01:25:48,894 --> 01:25:50,487 You sure you know how to drive this thing? 1491 01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:51,818 1492 01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:54,278 Please. I was raised in yacht clubs. I know what I'm doing. 1493 01:26:17,589 --> 01:26:19,591 You know where we're going? 1494 01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:22,101 Please address me as "captain." 1495 01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:24,763 Oh, fuck you, Alan. 1496 01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:29,568 Do you know where We're going, captain? 1497 01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:35,066 Affirmative, cadet. We're going south, through the Gulf of Thailand. Ha, ha. 1498 01:26:35,232 --> 01:26:36,404 Good. 1499 01:26:57,671 --> 01:27:00,971 Hey. You okay? 1500 01:27:01,883 --> 01:27:04,136 - Feeling a little better. - All right. 1501 01:27:05,637 --> 01:27:10,108 Listen, Teddy, I'm really sorry. We didn't mean for any of this to happen. 1502 01:27:11,143 --> 01:27:15,023 It's funny. I can't remember anything... 1503 01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:18,317 but when I woke up... 1504 01:27:18,734 --> 01:27:20,407 I was kind of happy. 1505 01:27:21,278 --> 01:27:22,450 Yeah! 1506 01:27:24,281 --> 01:27:27,660 By the way, you have any idea where my finger is? 1507 01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:31,171 Yeah, we gave it to a drug-dealing monkey. 1508 01:27:34,166 --> 01:27:35,543 Bangkok. 1509 01:27:36,001 --> 01:27:37,844 Yeah, right? 1510 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:39,801 Fucking Bangkok. 1511 01:27:43,967 --> 01:27:46,061 1512 01:27:46,970 --> 01:27:50,019 He's on his way, I'm telling you. Dad's always doing this. 1513 01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:52,021 No, it's just ... 1514 01:27:53,810 --> 01:27:55,562 I apologize! There will be no wedding! 1515 01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:58,152 No, he is on his way. He will be here. 1516 01:27:58,315 --> 01:28:00,943 Please, if you will all move to the bar. 1517 01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:03,362 We are going to clear this area. Please. 1518 01:28:03,528 --> 01:28:04,700 1519 01:28:04,863 --> 01:28:06,661 LAUREN: Daddy, how can you do this? 1520 01:28:07,157 --> 01:28:09,785 I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming. 1521 01:28:09,951 --> 01:28:11,669 1522 01:28:11,828 --> 01:28:13,546 LAUREN: You don't understand. 1523 01:28:13,705 --> 01:28:16,174 Look. There they are. 1524 01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:19,628 1525 01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:21,801 Stu! 1526 01:28:26,051 --> 01:28:27,394 1527 01:28:27,552 --> 01:28:29,179 Alan, there's no dock. 1528 01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:30,393 ALAN: Just hang on. 1529 01:28:30,555 --> 01:28:32,808 - Alan, it's not funny. Turn the boat. - Hang on. 1530 01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:34,647 Is that Alan driving the boat? 1531 01:28:34,810 --> 01:28:36,403 DOUG: What? Uh ... 1532 01:28:36,561 --> 01:28:39,815 We should probably move back a little bit. Come on. 1533 01:28:39,981 --> 01:28:41,358 PHIL: Alan, slow down! STU: Please! 1534 01:28:41,525 --> 01:28:44,324 Turn the boat! Turn the boat, Alan! Turn the fucking boat! 1535 01:28:44,486 --> 01:28:46,159 Everyone, back up a little bit here. 1536 01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:49,666 Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Come on, sir. 1537 01:28:49,825 --> 01:28:50,917 PHIL: Hold on! Hold on! 1538 01:28:53,912 --> 01:28:56,085 1539 01:28:56,248 --> 01:28:58,046 1540 01:29:00,752 --> 01:29:01,753 PHIL: Fuck! 1541 01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:03,263 1542 01:29:05,465 --> 01:29:06,512 Hi. 1543 01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,518 Hi, everybody. 1544 01:29:10,011 --> 01:29:12,264 We came in a little hotter than we planned. 1545 01:29:12,639 --> 01:29:14,607 And sorry we trenched the lawn here. 1546 01:29:15,517 --> 01:29:17,611 Totally fixable. A bit of sod, we'll be fine. 1547 01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:19,112 - Baby! - Oh, my God. 1548 01:29:19,271 --> 01:29:22,366 - Hi. - Ah, I'm so happy to see you. 1549 01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:24,777 FOHN: Teddy. 1550 01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:26,699 Teddy, here. 1551 01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:28,956 - Hi, Dad. - Oh, Teddy. 1552 01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:32,209 - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm okay. 1553 01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:33,869 No! Your hand! 1554 01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:37,961 I know. We had an accident. I'm okay. 1555 01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:41,589 - This is your fault. - No, Dad. 1556 01:29:41,751 --> 01:29:43,628 He's right. Mr. Srisai, Lauren. 1557 01:29:43,795 --> 01:29:46,048 - I haven't been completely honest with you. - Stu? 1558 01:29:46,214 --> 01:29:47,261 - Yeah? - Don't do this. 1559 01:29:47,424 --> 01:29:49,722 Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it. 1560 01:29:50,260 --> 01:29:52,558 You said I'm chok. 1561 01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:55,099 Well, I'm not. 1562 01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:59,987 I'm not some weird milky, ricey, watery goop... 1563 01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:02,773 that you feed to infants and old people, okay? 1564 01:30:02,939 --> 01:30:06,409 Maybe I would be if you added some cayenne pepper. 1565 01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:07,990 1566 01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:13,371 I wish I was a boring dentist who had a boring life and boring friends... 1567 01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:16,002 but I don't, I'm not. 1568 01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:18,622 I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack. 1569 01:30:18,788 --> 01:30:22,258 Hey, it's not weird. it's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee... 1570 01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:24,670 I have heard enough of this. You come here. 1571 01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:26,383 Whoa. 1572 01:30:27,547 --> 01:30:29,015 Here's the deal, man. 1573 01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:32,097 I got a dark side. 1574 01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:35,973 There's a demon in me. 1575 01:30:36,473 --> 01:30:38,020 It's true, he has semen in him. 1576 01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:40,982 I said "demon." 1577 01:30:41,144 --> 01:30:43,021 But you also have semen in you. Remember? 1578 01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:45,941 That's not relevant, but thank you, Alan. 1579 01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:48,656 Point is... 1580 01:30:48,818 --> 01:30:53,369 this demon takes me to some pretty weird places. 1581 01:30:53,531 --> 01:30:56,785 And we lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok. 1582 01:30:57,369 --> 01:31:01,215 But that same demon took us to hell and back to find him. 1583 01:31:01,373 --> 01:31:03,876 We took on Bangkok and we won. 1584 01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:08,388 And that's pretty fucking cool if you ask me. Right? 1585 01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:15,430 I love your daughter and I'm gonna marry her... 1586 01:31:15,595 --> 01:31:17,689 unless you have any problem with that. 1587 01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:19,144 - I'm good. - All right. 1588 01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:22,815 But all that said... 1589 01:31:22,978 --> 01:31:25,777 it would actually mean a great deal to both of us... 1590 01:31:25,939 --> 01:31:29,318 if we could just get your motherfucking blessing. 1591 01:31:34,406 --> 01:31:36,408 1592 01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:47,215 Hey, Alan. 1593 01:31:48,211 --> 01:31:49,884 Your head looks pretty cool shaved. 1594 01:31:51,006 --> 01:31:52,178 ALAN: Thanks, Phil. 1595 01:31:52,841 --> 01:31:54,434 You should shave your head too. 1596 01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:56,140 Why would I do that? 1597 01:31:56,302 --> 01:31:58,930 Well, that way, we would look exactly alike. 1598 01:32:10,066 --> 01:32:11,693 Take good care of my daughter, Stu. 1599 01:32:12,277 --> 01:32:15,326 - I will. - Thank you. 1600 01:32:21,786 --> 01:32:24,289 killed everyone with the boat. 1601 01:32:24,456 --> 01:32:26,550 Just happy you're here. 1602 01:32:29,127 --> 01:32:32,882 Don't worry about the tattoo. I'll have it lasered as soon as we're home in L.A. 1603 01:32:33,048 --> 01:32:34,641 It's okay. I can get used to it. 1604 01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:35,891 1605 01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:37,473 Really? 1606 01:32:40,221 --> 01:32:43,395 - But for now, let's switch sides? - Yeah, okay. 1607 01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:45,310 Thank you. 1608 01:32:46,144 --> 01:32:47,771 Much better. 1609 01:32:49,022 --> 01:32:51,491 Dear family and friends... 1610 01:32:51,649 --> 01:32:53,322 on behalf of Stu and Lauren... 1611 01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:57,160 I welcome all of you for this marriage celebration. 1612 01:32:57,655 --> 01:33:01,455 We are here today to encourage, celebrate ... 1613 01:33:35,068 --> 01:33:36,570 [SINGING A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS' "I RAN"] 1614 01:33:36,736 --> 01:33:37,988 I walk along the avenue 1615 01:33:39,197 --> 01:33:43,168 I never thought I'd meet a girl like you 1616 01:33:43,785 --> 01:33:46,129 Meet a girl like you 1617 01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:53,011 And I ran Iran so far away 1618 01:33:53,586 --> 01:33:55,680 I couldn't get away 1619 01:33:56,214 --> 01:33:58,717 Thanks, buddy. Can you hold on for a second? 1620 01:33:58,883 --> 01:34:00,305 Thank you. Ahem. 1621 01:34:03,763 --> 01:34:05,561 1622 01:34:08,017 --> 01:34:10,896 Hello? Hi, everyone. 1623 01:34:11,896 --> 01:34:14,240 I'm, uh... My name's Alan Garner. 1624 01:34:14,399 --> 01:34:20,702 Um, I want to thank the Asiatic people for allowing us in your land. 1625 01:34:22,407 --> 01:34:26,537 I wanted to, um, say that, um, I'm really happy to be here... 1626 01:34:26,703 --> 01:34:30,753 and I have a wedding gift to present to Lauren and Stu. 1627 01:34:31,124 --> 01:34:35,220 Um, and a lot of thought have gone into this... 1628 01:34:35,378 --> 01:34:39,554 and I hope that you appreciate it as much I di... Are going to. 1629 01:34:39,716 --> 01:34:40,763 Okay. Guys. 1630 01:34:44,554 --> 01:34:45,601 1631 01:34:47,390 --> 01:34:50,064 1632 01:34:53,813 --> 01:34:54,939 [SINGING MURRAY HEAD'S "ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK"] 1633 01:34:55,106 --> 01:34:57,825 Bangkok, Oriental setting, and the city Don't know what the city is getting 1634 01:34:58,026 --> 01:34:59,619 Oh, fuck! 1635 01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:02,368 In a show with everything But Yul Brynner, ya know? 1636 01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:09,080 One night in Bangkok And the world's your oyster 1637 01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:12,958 The bars are temples But the pearls, they ain't free 1638 01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:17,800 You'll find a god in every golden cloister 1639 01:35:18,463 --> 01:35:21,558 And if you're lucky, then the god's a she 1640 01:35:21,799 --> 01:35:23,016 Alan! 1641 01:35:23,176 --> 01:35:25,429 I can feel the devil walking next to me 1642 01:35:25,595 --> 01:35:27,563 What the fuck, man? 1643 01:35:27,722 --> 01:35:30,601 - So, what do you think? - It's insane! How did you do that? 1644 01:35:30,767 --> 01:35:33,691 My dad had to make a lot of calls, and then I told Mike, I said: 1645 01:35:33,853 --> 01:35:36,151 "You gotta do it. It's for my third best friend." 1646 01:35:36,898 --> 01:35:39,742 STU: Alan, it's amazing. I love it. 1647 01:35:39,901 --> 01:35:40,948 Thank you so much. 1648 01:35:41,110 --> 01:35:44,740 We only have him for the night. We don't own him permanently. 1649 01:35:45,531 --> 01:35:47,408 Understood. 1650 01:35:47,951 --> 01:35:52,001 One night in Bangkok Makes the hard man humble 1651 01:35:52,538 --> 01:35:55,917 Not much between despair and ecstasy 1652 01:35:56,668 --> 01:36:00,343 I can feel the devil walking next to me 1653 01:36:03,091 --> 01:36:04,968 PHIL: You do a lot of public speaking, Alan? 1654 01:36:05,134 --> 01:36:06,852 1655 01:36:07,345 --> 01:36:09,393 Mike, you were great. 1656 01:36:09,555 --> 01:36:11,774 STU: It's true, that was incredible. 1657 01:36:11,933 --> 01:36:15,187 Thanks, guys. Thank you. That means a lot. Really, it does. 1658 01:36:15,353 --> 01:36:18,482 By the way, you really need to remove that fucking tattoo from your face. 1659 01:36:18,898 --> 01:36:20,650 Yep. On it. 1660 01:36:23,069 --> 01:36:25,197 Sorry about the last-minute performance change. 1661 01:36:25,363 --> 01:36:27,286 - Don't worry. - What are you talking about? 1662 01:36:27,448 --> 01:36:30,543 Well, he was supposed to sing "Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers... 1663 01:36:30,702 --> 01:36:33,046 but then I remembered you don't like indie rock. 1664 01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:35,377 Hey, guys. You're not gonna believe this. 1665 01:36:35,540 --> 01:36:37,918 - Is that your phone? - Yeah. 1666 01:36:38,084 --> 01:36:40,007 How come you never tried calling us? 1667 01:36:40,169 --> 01:36:41,762 It's been dead for two days. 1668 01:36:41,921 --> 01:36:44,219 But I recharged it and found all these photos. 1669 01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:45,975 - What? - Oh, shit. 1670 01:36:46,134 --> 01:36:47,727 Some of it's pretty messed up. 1671 01:36:47,885 --> 01:36:50,889 - Awesome. Let's check them out. STU: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1672 01:36:51,055 --> 01:36:52,557 No one needs to see this stuff. 1673 01:36:52,724 --> 01:36:55,147 Come on, man. I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything. 1674 01:36:55,727 --> 01:36:57,855 - It'll be fine. - What...? 1675 01:36:59,397 --> 01:37:01,024 All right. But we look at it once... 1676 01:37:01,190 --> 01:37:04,410 And then we delete them. It's gonna be okay. 1677 01:37:04,569 --> 01:37:05,570 1678 01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:06,829 Motherfucker. 1679 01:41:44,432 --> 01:41:46,434121308

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