Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
11
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
2
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,119
Are you sure you
don't wanna go to my room?
No. Why?
3
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,913
My roommate's
already moved out.
We'll be all alone.
4
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,456
All right.
The door is locked.
5
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,583
Okay, Jim, relax. Relax.
Okay, yeah, sure.
6
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:45,461
No strings attached,
okay? It's just friendly
good-bye sex.
7
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,423
Yeah, right. Right,
right, right, right.
8
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:51,801
Uh, yeah, but you see,
it's just that, um,
9
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,846
we've never even had
friendly hello sex.
10
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,725
So do you not
wanna do this?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
11
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:02,437
Oh, I do. Yeah.
No, I definitely do.
12
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:05,064
Uh, it's just that,
13
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,483
you see, this is actually
my first time.
14
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,403
Well, not my first.
It's my first time,
15
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:14,198
uh, since my
first time.
16
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,576
So, technically,
that's my second time.
17
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,746
And I... I don't...
I don't wanna suck at it.
18
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,165
So if I'm not up to par,
performance-wise...
19
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:26,043
Jim, this isn't exactly
a turn-on.
20
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,046
I mean, girls like a guy
with confidence.
21
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,632
Hey, I'm confident.
22
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:35,803
Oh, I am... I'm absolutely,
totally confident.
23
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,346
Oh?
Yeah.
24
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,348
Let's get naked.
Okay.
25
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:45,646
Seems like just yesterday
my dad picked me up after
my first year at college.
26
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,608
Mmm-hmm.
We popped a couple of beers,
27
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,860
and he said,
"Now, you're a man."
28
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,696
And today I get to say
the same thing to my son.
29
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,823
Honey, your speeches
embarrass him.
30
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:59,035
So, try and do what the kids
say, and just be cool.
31
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:02,872
I think I bring new meaning
to the word "cool," honey.
32
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,624
That's his dormitory
up ahead.
33
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,225
Turn over.
Okay.
34
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,978
Ow.
35
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,859
Can't bring alcohol
in the dorms.
Oh, uh, good.
36
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:36,072
Thank you, uh, Matt.
I'm just here to surprise
my son Jim.
37
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,658
What?
Now pin my leg up.
38
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,910
Pin my leg up,
like this.
39
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:44,330
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
40
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,458
Maybe you can help
me out, you know.
41
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,294
Okay.
42
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,422
Is that the one?
No.
There!
43
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,384
Oh, yeah, yeah!
Oh, oh, oh, okay!
44
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,970
Now I remember.
45
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,307
I didn't do this for you.
46
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,560
Thanks, dude.
47
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,105
Where's my big guy?
Oh, my God!
48
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:10,773
Oh, no.
Hey...
49
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:16,571
Jesus!
Jim, we got here
a little early.
50
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,865
Dad, get out!
I'll wait in the car.
51
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:22,660
Go, Dad!
Oh, my... Geez.
52
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:23,786
Was that your dad?
Yeah.
53
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,872
I'm so sorry.
For your own edification,
54
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,665
son, I just...
I'm not embarrassed.
55
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,875
I am!
56
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,836
It's a perfectly
normal thing for
two human beings...
57
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:35,256
Dad, what are you doing?
This is human nature.
Human nature at its best.
58
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,343
Son, everybody does it.
Your mother and I...
Well, not so much anymore.
59
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,637
Got your favorite.
Oh, my God! They're fucking!
60
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,223
No! No!
Honey, honey,
listen. No, no.
61
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:45,808
I'm gonna take
her to the car.
62
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,977
Please just go!
Actually,
if you wouldn't mind.
63
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,271
Honey... I'll take her
to the car.
64
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:54,191
Hi, Mama.
What?
65
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,443
Natalie!
66
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,819
I'm Jim's dad.
67
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,113
You must be the parents
of this young lady.
68
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:02,408
I'm sorry
I didn't get her name,
but hopefully my son did,
69
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,160
because I have not been
here the whole time.
70
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,370
Natalie,
get dressed!
71
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,457
Beer?
Avert your eyes!
Turn around!
72
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,417
Thanks, Jim.
You don't believe in locks?
Oh, my God.
73
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:32,939
Heya, fuckface.
74
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,901
Mornin', dude.
Come on, Ozzy.
It's show time.
75
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:42,531
Ozzy, before you go
to Ann Arbor to pick up
Heather,
76
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,200
I wanna show you
what you're missing.
77
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,663
See what they are today, dude.
See what they are today.
78
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,873
Okay, here we go.
Moment of truth.
79
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,086
Ooh!
80
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,005
There's little hearts
on her panties!
Super.
81
00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:00,883
There's little hearts
on her panties! Come on, look,
you pussy. Look.
82
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,219
What the fuck, man?
Come on!
83
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:08,057
I'm disappointed in you. Here
it is, the end of our freshman
year and you screwed one girl.
84
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,976
One.
85
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,894
You're a disgrace
to men everywhere.
86
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:15,231
Look at the Stifmeister.
I got laid 23 times
this year,
87
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,567
and I'm not counting
the hummer I got in
the library stacks, baby.
88
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:21,320
All right, here's a new idea
for you, Stifler, okay?
89
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:24,281
You find a girl.
You two become best friends.
90
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,701
You don't bother counting how
many times you have sex
with each other.
91
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,454
You just laugh at the people
that do count.
Here's a new idea for you.
92
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,999
I'll get you a spoon
so you can eat my ass.
93
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,085
Okay, people.
Notebooks closed.
Let's get this exam rolling.
94
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,506
Holy shit, dude.
We got an exam today?
95
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,091
You kiddin' me?
96
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,385
Bullshit.
97
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:52,059
Yes! I'm never
even gonna think about
political science again.
98
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,020
Hey. How'd you do?
99
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,272
Oh, fine.
Yeah?
100
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,524
I can't believe I'm doing this
summer abroad thing.
101
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,067
Last thing I need
is more classes.
102
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:03,446
You're gonna have
a great time.
Hello, summer!
103
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:07,158
Did that exam blow or what?
Yeah, it sucked.
104
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,368
Ozzy!
Kev, what's up, man?
How are you?
105
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,121
Good. Put your
party hat on.
106
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,790
We got 12 weeks
of immortality ahead.
Yes, sir!
107
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,469
Weird.
108
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,487
Ah, the one that got away,
huh, son?
109
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,825
Yeah.
Yeah.
110
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:56,665
Well, evidently you two
made quite the handsome
couple on the Internet.
111
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,087
Oh, I didn't see it.
112
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,507
It, uh, was brought up
at a P.T.A. Meeting.
113
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,551
Anyway, my point is,
114
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:12,431
these little sexual debacles
should not get you down,
because you know what?
115
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,309
It happens to the best
of us. In fact,
116
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,272
the first time your mother
and I got together,
117
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,441
I used a condom.
118
00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:26,612
Well, she referred to it
as "shrink wrapping."
119
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,866
But I got over it.
120
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,369
Anyway, keep your chin up.
You keep plugging
121
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,871
and, uh, good things
will happen.
122
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,499
Good to have you home, son.
123
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,839
It's good to be home, Dad.
124
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,883
It's gonna be nice to hit
Stifler's tonight after exams.
125
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,635
Did you get through 'em?
God, what a bitch, huh?
126
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,262
There's the mystery man!
127
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,389
Finch, how are you?
Kevin. Konichiwa.
128
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:57,643
James. Konichiwa. Konichiwa.
129
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,063
It's Japanese.
130
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,275
It means "hello."
Hello.
131
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,318
Finch, what happened
to Latin?
132
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:09,155
I met a Japanese girl
at the art museum.
133
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:13,367
Changed majors. Wanted to
understand all those things
she was moaning.
134
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,203
You got laid
in an art museum?
The Met.
135
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,832
Oh, and the Guggenheim
with Francesca.
The Guggenheim?
136
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,877
And then my social-psych
professor in Baskin-Robbins.
137
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:26,881
All right, enough, Finch.
But I'll tell you,
none of these women
138
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,591
even compare to...
139
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,468
Stifler's mom.
140
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,596
Stifler's mom is a goddess.
141
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,604
How about some more
of Stifmeister's
collegiate concoction?
142
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:45,524
This thing is like
half alcohol. You're just
trying to get me drunk.
143
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:48,903
Mary, would I do that?
144
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:53,490
My name's Christy.
Christy, right, right.
Beautiful name.
145
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:57,203
Like it matters.
Hey, how you doing?
Hey.
146
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,496
Party-hearty,
fuckin' partners!
147
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,041
Johnny C., how's it going?
Good to see you.
148
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,169
Oh, looks like someone
gained a freshman 15.
This'll help.
149
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,881
You're an asshole.
Missed you too.
150
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:12,384
All right, everybody
having a good time?
Ladies.
151
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,055
Fellas! How's it going?
152
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,724
The keg's back there
as always. Enjoy.
153
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:23,979
Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler,
and I have an 11 -inch penis
154
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,232
around!
155
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,485
Think about it.
Sherman!
156
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:32,655
Okay, Stifler,
take your shot. Ha, ha.
157
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,991
Come on, man.
I'm really happy
to see you.
158
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,995
All right.
You stupid fuck.
159
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,207
Hey. Hey, are you
Steve Stifler?
160
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,500
Yes, I am.
161
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,127
Well, thank you for throwing
this awesome party, man.
162
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,212
No problem.
163
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,047
Yeah, the cops bust
all our parties now.
164
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,424
Well, I put the word out
165
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,343
so high-school chicks
would come.
166
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,928
Just 'cause you fuckers
don't have dicks
167
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,222
doesn't make it right
for you to be here,
you know.
168
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,101
Uh, hey, man,
could I ask you a question?
169
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,185
Sure, son.
170
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,397
Is it true that
Paul Finch nailed your mom?
171
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,442
Sons of bitches.
172
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,195
My mom's a saint!
173
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,614
Go suck some dick!
174
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:21,328
Hey, Carlos, Jason.
What's going on?
Keg's back on the deck.
175
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,248
Hey, how's lowa State?
176
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,792
Did you see those fuckers
I had to boot outta here?
177
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,544
Yup.
178
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:32,548
Back at Stifler's.
It's just like old times.
One difference.
179
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,009
We're college men now.
180
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,594
Some of these girls
are from the grade below us.
181
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,847
I might actually
have a chance.
182
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,224
Hey, I remember you.
183
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:45,686
Oh, do you now?
184
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,355
You're that guy who blew
his load on the Internet.
185
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:53,319
Splat. "Oh, wait,
Nadia, don't go." Splat.
186
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,572
Pathetic.
Loser.
187
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,158
It's exactly like
old times.
188
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,952
Flight 4717, final call.
189
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,997
I'm gonna miss you.
I'll miss you.
190
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,834
I'll call you
when I get in, okay?
191
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,253
Go have fun.
Okay.
192
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,839
Bye.
Bye-bye.
193
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,394
I can't believe
those two girls, Kevin.
194
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,521
Jim, it's not a big deal.
No. Yeah.
195
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,274
They toyed with
my emotions.
196
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,194
Hello. Hello.
See?
There's other girls.
197
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:39,198
How are ya?
You got nothing
to worry about, man.
198
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,325
Hey, Jessica's here.
199
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,952
With Vicky.
200
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:48,832
And Vicky got hot!
201
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,377
What's that supposed
to mean?
202
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,836
Look at her.
203
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:56,465
Yeah, Jim, I see her.
Hey, Kevin.
204
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,967
I'll be right back.
205
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,807
Hey, Vic, how are you?
What's up?
206
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,767
I'm okay.
Yeah, I'm good.
207
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,229
That's good.
It's good to hear.
Yeah, you too.
208
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,689
Wow.
209
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,235
Well, this is about
as comfortable as
a high colonic in Tijuana.
210
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,154
And I would know.
Okay.
211
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,408
I'm gonna get a drink.
She's right.
212
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,786
Why is this so weird?
Actually, I...
I have no idea.
213
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,081
See, I knew it.
I knew you'd be mature
about this.
214
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,376
You know, and we could
still be friends, right?
Yeah.
215
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,254
I miss you, Kev.
216
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,091
Whoa.
217
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,137
Friends, right?
218
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:47,724
Yeah, right.
I mean, I know you said
friends and I... I just...
219
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:51,437
I'm sorry.
I was... It was just...
220
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,398
An old habit.
I mean, a friend kiss.
221
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:58,861
Are you sure?
Vic, why wouldn't I wanna
be friends with you?
222
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,531
Look, we'll...
We'll just do this, okay?
223
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,451
Friends.
Friends.
224
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,540
Ozzy! My man!
There he is.
225
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,626
Shake off your chains
of monogamy.
You're a free man.
226
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:18,046
I don't think so, Stifler.
You know I'll never turn
over to the dark side.
227
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,550
Dumbass.
What happened to the 'Nova
I knew in high school?
228
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,511
'Nova, as in Casanova?
The guy who had
all the moves?
229
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:25,846
Yeah, he was an idiot.
230
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,890
Yeah, but he was
my idiot.
231
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,184
Hey, everyone!
Listen up!
232
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,061
'Nova's back, baby!
233
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,731
And he's taking the locks
off his cock!
234
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:41,069
Ozzy, I'm lobbing you
a softball here.
235
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,946
Pull out your bat
and take a swing.
236
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,406
Mandy.
237
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,117
This is my friend Oz.
238
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:49,411
All-state lacrosse
two years in a row.
239
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,080
Hey, Oz.
Hi, Mandy. How are you?
240
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,167
Listen, I have
a girlfriend.
241
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,503
It was a pleasure
meeting you.
242
00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,588
Beer out back.
243
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,091
You pussy!
244
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,772
Stifler's mom's room.
245
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,414
How did you do
that magic you did?
246
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,226
Tantra.
247
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,733
What the fuck
are you doin' in here?
248
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,901
Just relax.
249
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,653
You get out of my house!
250
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,863
Jesus Christ!
Come back here,
you little fucker!
251
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,283
Come back here,
you son of a bitch!
Take it easy.
252
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,661
Whoa! Hey! Hey!
Easy! Easy!
That's enough.
253
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,872
Okay, guys, we went through
this last summer, all right?
254
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:19,334
Finch got a black eye
and Stifler got six stitches.
'Cause you fuckin' bit me!
255
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,836
You touch me, I bite.
256
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,629
You two relax and shake hands.
257
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,382
Shake this!
Hey.
258
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,678
Finch.
I need a drink.
259
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,639
Why is everybody
taking a piss right now?
260
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,310
The line's too long.
I ain't gonna make it, man.
You'll be okay. Relax.
261
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:40,063
Hey, bro. Hey, man,
you're the guy who boned
Stifler's mom.
262
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:43,317
Hey, you are a god.
Holy shit, dude.
263
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,402
If I didn't have to
hold my dick 'cause
I gotta piss so bad,
264
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,029
I would shake your hand.
265
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,573
I'm honored, guys.
Don't leave.
266
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:53,327
You must teach me.
How? How?
267
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:57,372
Oh, look what I found,
Christy.
268
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,667
Oh, what a coincidence.
269
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,132
I've been saving this
for a special occasion,
270
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:10,385
for a special girl,
just like you.
271
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,306
You're so sweet.
That's what they say.
272
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,224
Oh, weird.
273
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:19,144
Oh, my God.
I spilled some on you.
274
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,188
Maybe I should
mop that up.
Thanks.
275
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:24,566
No problem.
Whoa! Whoa, hey.
276
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,944
Take it slow. Come on.
Right.
277
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:31,073
You know, they warn us
about these situations
in college.
278
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:36,119
Now, you may be intoxicated.
279
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,080
Oh, yeah.
280
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,999
Are you certain that
you wish to engage
in consenting...
281
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,543
Hey, don't count
your chickens, buster.
282
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:47,255
I'm just playing
by the rules, baby.
I make the rules.
283
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,300
That's a pretty good
fucking rule.
284
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,474
Dude, the line's too long.
I'll never make it.
285
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,018
It's gotta happen now.
Get my back.
All right. Go, bro.
286
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:09,236
Clamp it off.
Hello.
287
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,613
Oh, Laurie. How are you?
Good. Awesome.
288
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,783
Hey. How are you?
Hi, Laurie.
289
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,284
Good. I'm really good.
290
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,538
How 'bout I give you
a little champagne?
291
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,915
Why don't you go downstairs
and get us a couple beers?
292
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,709
I've got a surprise for you.
293
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,169
Close your eyes
and get ready.
Oh, I'm ready.
294
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:32,634
You want a beer?
Yeah, all right.
295
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,803
Mmm.
296
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,639
Okay, go.
297
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:43,019
This is kind of kinky,
and I like that.
298
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:51,403
Ohhh! That's it.
Bathe the Stifmeister.
299
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,992
Oh, that's great!
300
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,119
Oh, that's great.
301
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,413
How did you get it
so nice and warm?
302
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,873
303
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,958
304
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,836
I can taste the bubbles.
305
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,090
Actually, I can't.
306
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,514
Much better.
307
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,435
Wait a second.
308
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,480
Let's go.
Thanks, man.
309
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,400
Christy?
310
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,154
Oh, fuck!
311
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:41,036
Yep. Half of these got
East High parking passes
on 'em.
312
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,706
Break up another one.
Call a couple units.
313
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,918
Isn't this the Stifler house?
Yeah. You ever seen
Mrs. Stifler?
314
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,169
Oh, what a MILF.
315
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,462
Oh, yeah?
She got any pow? Pow.
316
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,257
Okay, now,
317
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:58,887
do these high school kids
think that we're cool because
they're at a college party,
318
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,349
or are we those
weird older guys
319
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,143
that try to hang out
with high school kids
when we come home?
320
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:08,063
No way. We're definitely
not those guys.
Cops!
321
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,606
Cops!
322
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,401
All right!
Break it up.
Party's over.
323
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:17,030
Let's go.
Ostreicher, Myers.
324
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,032
Welcome back.
325
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,076
Where's Steve Stifler?
326
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:26,081
All right, let's go.
Get up. This party's over.
327
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,709
I got peed on.
328
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,755
No, man,
Stifler's got shut down.
329
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,716
We can't party
anywhere anymore.
330
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,177
And things are...
331
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:42,597
Getting weird?
Yeah, a little bit.
332
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:45,058
First summer back
from college.
333
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,894
Yep, things are gonna
get weirder.
334
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,521
What are you talkin' about?
335
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,648
Well, times change,
people change.
336
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,817
It's just what happens,
you know.
337
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,112
Kev, listen.
Go into my old room.
338
00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,740
My friends and I knew
that it was up to us
to stick together.
339
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,784
You remember
my first college summer?
340
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,619
We rented that
lake house in Grant Harbor.
341
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:07,789
We treated every day out there
like it was a post-prom party.
342
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,750
Hell of a time.
We capped it all off
with a massive blowout.
343
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,044
Best ever.
It was legendary.
344
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:16,089
My advice is do that.
By the end of the summer,
345
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,425
you're gonna see
the big picture.
346
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:36,902
She's on the phone.
She's on the phone.
It's long distance.
347
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,361
Who?
Nadia! Nadia!
348
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:42,657
What? She's on...
New York. Hello.
Yes, dear, he's right here.
349
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,409
Hey... Here,
give it to me.
Now remember...
350
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,621
Yes, I am sure to go
see The Lion King.
351
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,790
Right. And don't ride
the subway after midnight.
Okay.
352
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:54,669
I know they've done wonderful
things with that city, but,
you know, for me...
353
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,379
Dad!
354
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,089
He's right... Hang on.
355
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,178
Hey... Hey, Nadia.
Jim!
356
00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:06,264
How was college?
College was excellent.
357
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:09,434
Yeah. Yeah, it was...
It was really excellent.
358
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,937
You have not forgotten
about me, have you?
359
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,273
No. I, uh...
Absolutely not.
360
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:18,777
I definitely didn't.
Good, because guess what?
361
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,946
I'm coming to see you
at the end of summer.
362
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,531
I hope you're
ready for me,
363
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:28,203
because I have not forgotten
about you either,
you sexy boy.
364
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,122
Shit.
Jim, you can
eat hot dogs tomorrow.
365
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,459
No, no, Finch,
it's not the hot dogs.
366
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,419
Nadia called me
this morning.
367
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:40,090
She's coming here
at the end of the summer,
and she wants to see me.
368
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:41,466
Oh, that's killer.
369
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,051
Yeah, that's a good thing.
370
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,929
No, not "good thing."
Not "killer."
371
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:48,139
I'll never be able
to do it.
372
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:52,102
Nadia is gonna be
expecting filet mignon.
373
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:56,606
Okay, and all I'm gonna
be able to give her
374
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,400
is rump roast.
375
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:04,489
Aw, come on.
Jim, you've had experience
since Nadia.
376
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,658
Ah, yes, you would
be referring to
377
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:10,120
the flute-fetish band geek
that made me her bitch and
then ditched me after prom.
378
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,247
Yes, that's
great experience.
That's the one.
379
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:15,667
Ah, you just gotta
find the right girl, Jimbo.
380
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,044
Brings it all together.
I had the right woman.
381
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:23,049
She just sells her cottage
and takes off
to parts unknown.
382
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:25,969
Oh, my romantic life
has past its peak.
383
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,971
Take me out to the pasture
and shoot me.
384
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:32,684
Super start to
a super summer, fellas.
Welcome home.
385
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:38,273
Guys, I got it.
Pack your bags.
386
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:39,691
For what?
387
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,693
We're moving to the lake.
388
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:48,116
We're gonna be the shit.
Everybody on the beach
is gonna know us.
389
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,952
Plenty of opportunities
to practice for Nadia.
390
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,247
Throw a huge party
at the end of the
summer to cap it all off.
391
00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:58,001
Dude, that's a great idea.
That way we'll be able
to welcome Heather back,
392
00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:01,296
and we'll be able to prepare
for Nadia's big arrival.
393
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,883
This is it.
This is my summer of love.
394
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,135
Just thought I'd say
good-bye to you animals.
395
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,679
Hey, Mr. Levenstein.
How are you, sir?
Hey.
396
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,223
All packed up I see.
397
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:13,767
Yeah, we're all set, Dad.
398
00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:16,478
Don't worry, okay?
I'll be fine.
399
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:18,563
Come on and give
your old man a hug.
400
00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:31,743
Keep it real, homies.
401
00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:34,788
You too, sir.
Have a good summer.
402
00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:37,332
All right, let's go.
403
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,417
I've been running
these numbers here
404
00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:41,836
and I don't think
the four of us
can afford this place.
405
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:43,421
Not on summer jobs.
406
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:45,715
Well, I kind of
thought of that.
407
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:50,303
So, I invited
someone else.
408
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:56,101
Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's
coming back to Grant Harbor!
409
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,770
Deck the halls!
Bye-bye, Great Falls!
410
00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:01,022
Wipe my ass
and lick my balls!
411
00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:04,359
It's Stifler time, baby!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
412
00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:07,028
413
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:22,043
Stifler, if you're gonna
be living with us
you gotta behave yourself.
414
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:25,964
All right, you and Finch just
stay out of each other's way.
415
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,925
Kevin, Stifler's stench
is unavoidable.
416
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:31,511
Finch, fist yourself.
417
00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:35,390
That's right, baby.
We're here.
418
00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:38,143
Yeah, baby, we're here!
419
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:40,895
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
420
00:25:05,379 --> 00:25:08,089
It's a palace.
It's a temple.
421
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:12,927
Isn't this great?
422
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:15,847
Ah, dude.
Are you kidding me?
423
00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:33,907
This just won't do.
424
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:09,609
Guys.
425
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:14,197
Check this out.
This is it.
426
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:28,378
Will you idiots tell me
what this fucker's doin'?
427
00:26:35,177 --> 00:26:36,719
Don't touch me
while I'm tantric.
428
00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:40,265
"Tantric"?
What the fuck is tantric?
429
00:26:40,349 --> 00:26:44,727
It's a Buddhist discipline.
You learn to channel
your body's energies,
430
00:26:44,812 --> 00:26:47,105
your chakras.
431
00:26:47,189 --> 00:26:50,817
When you can do that,
you can have sex for hours,
even days.
432
00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:52,443
And this stuff's for real?
433
00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:54,862
It's been around
for centuries.
434
00:26:55,239 --> 00:26:57,407
With tantra you can make
an entire session of sex
435
00:26:57,491 --> 00:27:00,243
feel like one giant orgasm.
436
00:27:00,411 --> 00:27:04,205
Eventually, you can
sustain that feeling
by meditating.
437
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:07,542
Well, maybe you can
teach me sometime?
Very doubtful.
438
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:09,836
True.
Come on, Jim.
439
00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:13,256
You can't possibly
be that bad.
Oh, no?
440
00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:15,550
No way.
441
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:19,262
Well, I guess there's only
one person that really
knows for sure, huh?
442
00:27:19,430 --> 00:27:22,056
Oh, yeah?
Where's she this summer?
443
00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:39,240
Hey, are you here for
the mid-session performance?
444
00:27:39,575 --> 00:27:41,492
Guests go in
the amphitheater.
You can't be here.
445
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:43,453
Do you know where I
could find Michelle Flaherty?
446
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:46,664
Guests bring food.
Food attracts animals.
This one time,
447
00:27:46,749 --> 00:27:49,083
a bear came,
and then the bear
had to be destroyed,
448
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:52,045
which means they shot it
in the head with a rifle
and killed it and it died.
449
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:54,630
You must know Michelle.
450
00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:56,924
MAN: One, two, three, four.
451
00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:58,885
One, two... Good, go.
452
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,971
One, two, three, four.
453
00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:17,111
That's a lot of flutes.
454
00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:25,161
Good luck. Thanks.
Good job.
Thanks, Michelle.
455
00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:26,913
Have fun at your next class.
456
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:32,877
Hey, Michelle.
457
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:34,837
Jim. Holy potatoes!
458
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:38,091
You're really here?
Everybody
stick together.
459
00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:42,178
Oh, shoot!
We're... We're not
supposed to have visitors,
460
00:28:42,262 --> 00:28:44,806
'cause this one time,
uh, here,
461
00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:47,058
this kid had these cookies...
462
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:51,145
Let me guess.
A bear came.
Cool.
463
00:28:51,313 --> 00:28:53,689
It's like you know
all our stories.
464
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:57,443
Oh. Was that a question?
465
00:28:57,528 --> 00:28:59,404
I don't know. Maybe.
466
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:02,949
Do you wanna answer it
anyway?
Michelle, um,
467
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:07,662
I left you like, uh...
Like three messages
after prom.
468
00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:09,080
Really?
469
00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:13,793
You didn't think I was
weird because of the way
I acted that night?
470
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:16,045
Weird, no.
471
00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:19,215
Surprising, yes.
472
00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:21,759
I get nasty when I'm horny.
473
00:29:22,469 --> 00:29:24,345
That's kind of
why I'm here.
474
00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:26,389
Um, you remember,
475
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:29,308
was I any good that...
That night?
476
00:29:29,852 --> 00:29:32,437
Oh, wow. Geez.
477
00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:34,147
How could I forget?
478
00:29:34,731 --> 00:29:38,234
You sucked.
You didn't know what
the hell you were doing.
479
00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:41,737
But wasn't it fun even though
you were so terrible?
480
00:29:41,989 --> 00:29:44,866
I'm sorry. "Terrible"?
I've had worse.
481
00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:48,744
Oh.
Oh, sorry. I...
482
00:29:49,246 --> 00:29:52,331
I... I could give you
some pointers if you want.
483
00:29:52,583 --> 00:29:54,417
Really?
484
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:57,086
Oh. Oh, shoot.
Okay, wait here.
485
00:29:57,171 --> 00:29:59,464
I'll meet you
in an hour, okay?
486
00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:00,965
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
487
00:30:01,592 --> 00:30:02,717
Cool idea.
488
00:30:10,184 --> 00:30:12,018
Hey!
489
00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:13,352
What are you doing?
490
00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:14,520
Ow!
491
00:30:14,605 --> 00:30:17,064
Ooh. Ooh.
492
00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:20,443
You're all right. Here we go.
You know you're not supposed
to be here now.
493
00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:22,695
Everyone's supposed to be in
the amphitheater.
494
00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:24,280
All right. Come on.
495
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:26,824
It's piss-poor
to be this late.
I'm very angry right now.
496
00:30:26,909 --> 00:30:29,952
You can tell by the tone
of my voice I'm angry.
I'm pissed off is what I am.
497
00:30:30,078 --> 00:30:32,246
Here they are. Cut 'em off.
'Cause this is
piss-poor. Go, go.
498
00:30:32,915 --> 00:30:34,665
Wait a minute.
Are you Petey?
499
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:37,293
Petey?
Uh, yeah, sure.
500
00:30:37,377 --> 00:30:40,004
Petey! Well,
that explains everything.
501
00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:42,423
All right.
Well, it's always something
with these kids. Go!
502
00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:46,010
Petey, we are just so thrilled
to have you. None of my kids
are at your caliber.
503
00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:51,098
Watch that. But we are just
so overjoyed to have someone
with your kind of talent here.
504
00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:52,934
Oh, great.
Here you go.
505
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:54,352
That's great.
Oh, look at this.
506
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:55,853
Your old best friend.
Come on. Move.
507
00:30:55,938 --> 00:30:59,482
I know it's not yours,
but you are going to make
beautiful music.
508
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:01,484
Here we go.
This is fantastic.
I'm very excited.
509
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:04,612
You just own this
and break a leg.
510
00:31:05,239 --> 00:31:07,698
All right,
all right.
511
00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:25,216
What was he doing out
wandering around unsupervised?
512
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,634
Who knows?
513
00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:30,304
I'll tell you something.
I'm about fed up with these
Tall Oaks North kids.
514
00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:39,897
Kids, entertain yourselves.
Play along with Petey.
515
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:42,692
No, no, no, no, Petey.
Here we go.
516
00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:45,319
All right, all right.
Come on, now.
A little encouragement.
517
00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,239
Right to this spot.
518
00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:51,158
Folks, he's just
a little nervous.
519
00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:53,661
This isn't right.
520
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,913
Just blow on it, kid.
All right.
521
00:31:55,998 --> 00:31:58,040
Here we go.
522
00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:07,508
Uh...
Come on, Petey.
523
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:11,762
Play!
Do something.
524
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,609
Special, my ass.
525
00:32:24,818 --> 00:32:27,028
Come on. Give the little guy
some support.
Yeah!
526
00:32:29,489 --> 00:32:32,658
Come on, Petey.
You're doing great,
partner.
527
00:32:33,869 --> 00:32:35,995
Come on, honey.
You can do it.
528
00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,705
Come on, Petey.
529
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:42,251
Oh, what the hell.
530
00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:45,296
Yeah!
531
00:32:45,380 --> 00:32:46,380
All right!
532
00:32:47,049 --> 00:32:52,011
All right, Petey!
Play it, man! Come on!
Yeah!
533
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:54,847
Rock and roll!
534
00:32:55,015 --> 00:32:56,849
Whoo!
535
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,015
Thank you!
536
00:33:41,186 --> 00:33:42,895
Thank you, Tall Oaks.
You're beautiful.
537
00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:50,528
My name is Petey!
538
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:53,447
Thank you!
539
00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:56,617
And I have gigantic balls!
540
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:02,915
I...
541
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:16,220
Michelle...
Not now!
Come back later. Go!
542
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:23,102
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come back here!
I wanna talk to you!
543
00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:25,479
You are so sweet.
544
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:28,149
He is special.
545
00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:30,401
He's my bitch.
546
00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:34,905
Well, Michelle
has confirmed it.
547
00:34:35,115 --> 00:34:38,159
I suck.
What?
548
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:41,287
I gotta get
some practice.
549
00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:44,790
Don't worry about it.
I mean, that's why we got
the house, Jimbo.
550
00:34:44,875 --> 00:34:49,128
We plop a keg on the deck,
and the girls come in
off the beach.
551
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:52,339
It's like
a hummingbird feeder.
552
00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:55,342
You think so?
I know so.
553
00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:56,969
Guaranteed hotties.
554
00:34:57,512 --> 00:35:00,055
Fellas, nice pad.
555
00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:03,017
Good view, but...
556
00:35:03,185 --> 00:35:06,604
The Sherminator sensors
detect no female life-forms
in the vicinity.
557
00:35:07,063 --> 00:35:11,108
High likelihood of
a sausage-fest in progress.
558
00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:13,486
The girls are comin'.
I made some calls.
559
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:15,821
Yeah.
560
00:35:16,323 --> 00:35:19,074
The Sherminator's
got a point, Kev.
561
00:35:19,242 --> 00:35:23,162
Since when do you
start listening
to the Sherminator?
562
00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:27,082
Since he made me realize
there's an abundance
of wiener here.
563
00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:30,044
I mean, look around,
dude. Dude?
564
00:35:30,212 --> 00:35:31,962
All right,
now it's your turn.
565
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:33,964
Oh, come on.
There's nothing to tell.
566
00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:37,760
Hey, what's up?
What are you guys
talking about?
567
00:35:37,844 --> 00:35:39,929
You know, we're just
trading war stories
about college,
568
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:42,556
who hooked up with who,
who slept with who...
569
00:35:42,724 --> 00:35:44,767
So, Vicky?
570
00:35:45,519 --> 00:35:48,979
Well, there was
this one guy.
How 'bout you?
571
00:35:49,523 --> 00:35:52,775
Oh, you know, there was
a few girls... Three.
572
00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:55,444
Ooh, look at you.
You stud.
573
00:35:56,905 --> 00:35:59,448
All right, Oz.
Now that Kevin told us,
what about you?
574
00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:02,827
You haven't had the
slightest bit of attraction
to any girl at school?
575
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:05,788
Don't you fuckin' say no.
I know you did.
576
00:36:06,706 --> 00:36:08,582
Even if I did,
577
00:36:09,376 --> 00:36:11,836
it wouldn't be anything
more than just
a momentary thing.
578
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:16,257
Very uninteresting.
And how about you,
Jessica?
579
00:36:16,466 --> 00:36:18,342
How many chicks did you
sleep with this year?
580
00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:20,302
Gee, wouldn't you
like to know.
581
00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:23,222
Fuck yeah, I would.
582
00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:27,101
Come on, Ozzy.
583
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,894
Yeah, man. Ball.
Pool's yours.
584
00:36:29,271 --> 00:36:30,688
Hey, Vic, you wanna play?
585
00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:32,106
Yeah, sure. You wanna break?
586
00:36:36,111 --> 00:36:37,653
What the...
587
00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:40,364
Where are the
fuckin' females?
588
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:44,660
Jim, can't you leave
your shirt on? You're
scaring the chicks away.
589
00:36:44,786 --> 00:36:46,287
Dude,
give him a break.
590
00:36:48,290 --> 00:36:51,834
Ozzy, go deep.
Yeah, bro.
You playing?
591
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,294
No.
592
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:57,715
No, no, keep going.
Fly pattern.
593
00:36:57,883 --> 00:37:00,259
What are you doin'?
Fishin'.
594
00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:09,476
Are you okay?
Are you all right?
595
00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:14,773
You okay?
Oh, man, I'm so sorry.
Is everybody okay?
596
00:37:22,532 --> 00:37:26,118
Amazing.
Yes.
597
00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:28,412
The Force is strong
in that one.
598
00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:30,789
Whoa.
599
00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:36,587
The Sherminator detects
serious heat at a distance
of two meters.
600
00:37:36,671 --> 00:37:38,797
Preparing to deploy beer.
601
00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:42,468
Sherman, dude,
602
00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:44,887
let me give you a valuable
piece of advice, okay?
603
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:47,014
Drop the whole
"Sherminator" thing.
604
00:37:47,349 --> 00:37:49,141
Please repeat
previous statement.
605
00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:51,894
Look, I know your last name
is Sherman, right?
606
00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:55,314
And that rhymes with
The Terminator which was
607
00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:57,274
a big hit movie, what,
like 10 years ago.
608
00:37:57,359 --> 00:38:00,110
But you can't tell me
a girl's ever really
gone for it.
609
00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:04,531
System overload.
Hasta la vista, Jessica.
610
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:08,827
What a freak.
611
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:13,832
Vic, hey, you guys
are leaving?
612
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,878
You know, we barely had
a chance to hang out,
you know, catch up.
613
00:38:18,046 --> 00:38:21,173
Well, what are you doing
this weekend?
I can get together.
614
00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:23,467
Cool. Let's hang out.
All right.
615
00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:24,885
Bye, Kev.
See ya, Jess.
616
00:38:25,011 --> 00:38:26,053
Bye.
617
00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:32,226
No, no,
that's all wrong.
618
00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:35,437
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Good-bye.
619
00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:38,649
So what does he mean,
"meet up"?
You know, like hang out,
620
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:40,150
grab lunch, whatever.
621
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:43,862
I told you,
we're just friends now.
And he totally understands.
622
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:47,574
Oh, yeah, I'm sure
he understands quite well.
He does.
623
00:38:48,284 --> 00:38:51,787
Oh, no, sir.
These are all wrong for you.
I mean, seriously.
624
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,165
Sure. We're friends.
625
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:58,585
But it's not like I see her
making plans with anyone else.
Right.
626
00:38:58,753 --> 00:39:02,339
I don't see her with
a boyfriend. I think
that puts me on deck.
627
00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:07,094
Hey, Vicky only slept with
one guy since we went out.
628
00:39:07,721 --> 00:39:11,807
I mean, that like makes me
50% of her entire
guy-related life.
629
00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:13,684
You dipshit.
630
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:16,895
She didn't sleep with one guy.
She slept with at least three.
631
00:39:17,313 --> 00:39:18,439
What?
632
00:39:18,773 --> 00:39:20,607
When a girl tells you
how many guys she slept with,
633
00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:22,943
multiply it by three
and that's the real number.
634
00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:26,071
Didn't you fuckers learn
anything at college?
635
00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:30,367
Look, he did not sleep
with three girls, okay?
636
00:39:30,452 --> 00:39:33,078
Much like Sly
and the Family Stone aren't
gonna dance on in here
637
00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:37,082
and gang-bang me
between the Afros
and the bell bottoms, okay?
638
00:39:37,167 --> 00:39:38,500
It's not gonna happen.
639
00:39:38,585 --> 00:39:40,544
Kevin Myers did not sleep
with three girls at Michigan.
640
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:45,132
But why would he lie to me?
It's not a lie. It's an
adjustment. The rule of three.
641
00:39:45,842 --> 00:39:47,426
The rule of what?
Three.
642
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:51,013
A guy tells you how many girls
he's hooked up with,
it's not even close to that.
643
00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:54,433
Take that number
and divide it by three.
Then you get the real total.
644
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:58,437
So, if Kevin's saying
it's been three girls,
it's more like one, or none.
645
00:39:58,897 --> 00:39:59,897
None?
646
00:39:59,981 --> 00:40:01,231
Rule of three.
647
00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:03,442
It's an exact science,
consistent as gravity.
648
00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:06,945
Ozzy,
I'm happy for you.
649
00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:09,573
At least you've seen
a nice bod while Heather's
off sucking dick.
650
00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:11,867
Stifler, keep your fantasies
to yourself.
651
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:14,453
Dude, use
your fuckin' brain.
652
00:40:14,662 --> 00:40:17,456
"Oh, I'm an American
college chick.
La, la, la.
653
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:20,250
"Your European cultural
shit is so charming.
654
00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:24,338
"Ooh, hey.
Hot Spanish guy.
Love your accent.
655
00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:26,131
"Love your ding-dong."
656
00:40:26,216 --> 00:40:29,301
I'm telling you, man,
right now there is a dick
in your girlfriend's mouth.
657
00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:31,386
Knock it off.
658
00:40:31,638 --> 00:40:33,180
What'd I say?
659
00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:54,326
Oh, my God!
660
00:40:56,579 --> 00:41:00,040
Guys!
Check it out.
Lesbians.
661
00:41:01,835 --> 00:41:03,544
Lesbians live here.
662
00:41:03,711 --> 00:41:06,046
You know,
Mr. Homophobic Wizard,
663
00:41:06,214 --> 00:41:09,716
that it is possible
for women to hold hands
and not be gay.
664
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:12,136
Friends can hold hands.
665
00:41:12,220 --> 00:41:16,431
Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear
about you and your boyfriends.
Go jerk off.
666
00:41:16,599 --> 00:41:18,559
Unnecessary.
667
00:41:18,726 --> 00:41:21,228
Tantra teaches you to hold
an orgasm over time
668
00:41:21,855 --> 00:41:23,564
in anticipation
of an ultimate moment
669
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:26,108
to release it
upon the world.
670
00:41:26,401 --> 00:41:28,569
I'm filling up
to the brim.
671
00:41:28,653 --> 00:41:32,948
That's fucking disgusting!
Oh, I'm gonna throw up.
672
00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:42,249
Hello?
Hey, Heather. You're in!
673
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,625
Oz!
674
00:41:43,710 --> 00:41:45,294
How's the studying going?
675
00:41:45,461 --> 00:41:47,296
I'd hardly call it studying.
676
00:41:47,463 --> 00:41:50,090
I've been going
to the Picasso Museum,
677
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:52,050
hanging out at
Sagrada Familia,
678
00:41:52,218 --> 00:41:54,261
going with Pierre
to the Parc Guell.
679
00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:56,805
Hey, who's Pierre?
One of the guys
in the program.
680
00:41:56,973 --> 00:41:59,850
He's got a girlfriend back
in France, so we've kind
of got something in common.
681
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,602
Ah, that sounds cool.
682
00:42:01,978 --> 00:42:05,939
Yeah, I've overheard them
on the phone at night.
683
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:09,693
And, uh, well,
it made me think.
684
00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:15,282
Hey, Oz, I'm reaching under my
shirt, and I'm rubbing myself.
685
00:42:15,658 --> 00:42:18,869
Oz, come on.
It's phone sex.
Help me out here.
686
00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:21,997
Okay. Uh...
687
00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:26,126
I'm going over to my bed.
688
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:29,588
Yeah.
And I'm lying down.
689
00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:32,216
And I'm slowly
690
00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:35,594
reaching downstairs.
691
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:37,262
Grab it. Tell me
how big it is.
692
00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:41,975
Listen, Heather,
I'm feeling kind of awkward.
Oz.
693
00:42:42,143 --> 00:42:45,854
If we can't physically be
with each other, then we have
to learn to be more vocal.
694
00:42:46,231 --> 00:42:48,398
Right?
Right. Okay.
695
00:42:48,483 --> 00:42:52,778
Okay, here we go.
I'm reaching in my pants now.
696
00:42:53,112 --> 00:42:54,947
And I'm rubbing it
for you, Heather.
697
00:42:55,031 --> 00:42:57,699
And it feels so good.
698
00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:59,993
Yeah, me too.
Oh, yeah.
699
00:43:00,119 --> 00:43:01,787
I got...
700
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:04,081
Call waiting.
701
00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:06,083
Oh, shit. Hello?
702
00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:08,919
Wrong number.
703
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:15,175
Hey. Hello.
Wrong number.
704
00:43:15,343 --> 00:43:18,553
All right, look, man.
I got my hand on my dick
right now, okay,
705
00:43:18,638 --> 00:43:21,181
and I'm trying to have sex
with my girlfriend
over the phone.
706
00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:25,644
Emir, good for you, man.
707
00:43:26,688 --> 00:43:28,522
Okay.
Hey.
708
00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:31,275
Sorry about that.
Where were we?
709
00:43:31,359 --> 00:43:33,610
I think you were
reaching for something.
710
00:43:33,778 --> 00:43:35,654
Oh, yeah.
711
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:41,576
Oh, yeah, Heather.
I'm rubbing it and
it feels so good.
712
00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:46,206
Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself.
What else do you want me
to do?
713
00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:48,792
Oh, Heather, baby.
714
00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:51,545
Why don't you tell me
my dick is as big as
Stifler's.
715
00:43:51,713 --> 00:43:52,796
Stifler, get off!
716
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,757
I am getting off
just listening to
the two of you guys.
717
00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:56,967
Keep going.
718
00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:58,719
I think we should try
this another time.
719
00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:01,805
Yeah, all right.
Bye-bye. I love you.
720
00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:03,056
I love you.
721
00:44:03,182 --> 00:44:05,142
Come on, you guys.
I was almost there!
722
00:44:05,226 --> 00:44:06,685
Nice talking
with you, Steven.
723
00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:08,270
Stifler, man!
724
00:44:08,521 --> 00:44:10,939
Repressed.
725
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:22,617
Check it out.
726
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,870
Potential lesbians
leaving the building.
727
00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:35,297
All right.
Now is my chance.
728
00:44:35,465 --> 00:44:40,177
I need confirmation.
Stifler. Hey, man,
what are you doing?
729
00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:41,845
Go get him.
730
00:44:41,971 --> 00:44:43,430
You ass. Stifler, get out.
731
00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:46,183
Stifler. Stifler.
732
00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:49,227
Stifler.
733
00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:53,607
Oh, shit, dude!
I found a dildo!
734
00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:54,775
Stifler.
735
00:44:54,859 --> 00:44:56,777
Big blue rubber dicks
for everyone!
736
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,112
The people demand
rubber dicks!
737
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:00,322
Finch, help. Finch!
738
00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:03,033
Dildo, dildo, dildo!
739
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:06,203
What are you doing?
740
00:45:06,454 --> 00:45:08,080
I'm looking for
more lesbian artifacts.
741
00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:11,291
Where'd you get this?
Finch's ass.
742
00:45:12,543 --> 00:45:14,461
Oh, my God.
Shit!
Guys, they're back.
743
00:45:17,173 --> 00:45:19,591
Stall 'em!
744
00:45:19,759 --> 00:45:20,967
Come on. Come on!
745
00:45:21,135 --> 00:45:22,719
Come on. Come on.
746
00:45:22,804 --> 00:45:24,096
This is awesome!
747
00:45:24,263 --> 00:45:26,390
Danielle, Amber, hi.
Hey.
748
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:29,726
Just needed the paper, huh?
Mm-hmm.
749
00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:35,565
Which room? Which room?
I can't remember shit.
I was too excited.
750
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:38,235
I'm in a lesbian stronghold.
Was it in here?
751
00:45:38,319 --> 00:45:40,195
Shit, man. Why are you
asking me so many questions?
752
00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:41,613
Was it in here?
753
00:45:41,781 --> 00:45:44,491
Maybe.
What do you mean "maybe"?
Was it or was it not here?
754
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:46,326
Happy painting, boys.
755
00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:49,830
You gotta get out of there.
756
00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:52,165
They're inside.
Oh, shit balls.
757
00:45:58,131 --> 00:45:59,548
Very original, Steven.
758
00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:00,966
Don't call me Steven.
759
00:46:12,437 --> 00:46:13,562
Ow!
760
00:46:13,646 --> 00:46:16,731
I can wear that
little leopard bikini of mine.
761
00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:19,526
I love that one.
It's so cute on you.
762
00:46:19,694 --> 00:46:21,153
Help unzip me, please.
Oh, yeah.
763
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,864
Okay.
Thanks.
764
00:46:24,031 --> 00:46:26,283
Hey, have I shown you
my cute little pink shoes?
765
00:46:26,367 --> 00:46:28,076
Does it match the pink bikini?
766
00:46:28,244 --> 00:46:30,287
They're
getting naked.
767
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:35,709
Cute.
Thank you.
768
00:46:43,342 --> 00:46:45,343
Oh, shit.
She's de-pantsing.
769
00:46:45,428 --> 00:46:47,053
Oh, man.
770
00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:51,308
Wait a minute. They can't hear
us inside? We won't cross over
their radio or anything?
771
00:46:51,392 --> 00:46:54,561
No, man. These work
on a C.B. Frequency.
772
00:46:54,729 --> 00:46:56,396
This girl is so hot.
773
00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:04,404
Two possible lesbians
in their bras and panties.
774
00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:06,990
Lesbians?
Uh...
775
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:10,702
Did you say lesbians?
Hot lesbians!
776
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:15,916
Don't touch me.
I'm not.
777
00:47:25,927 --> 00:47:28,595
That better not have been
what I thought it was.
778
00:47:31,224 --> 00:47:33,225
This is
not gonna fit. Look
at you and look at me.
779
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:36,728
Too big.
I'll get you
the blue stringy number.
780
00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:41,441
Johnny West is missing.
781
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:44,945
Maybe you kicked it
under the bed.
782
00:47:47,031 --> 00:47:49,032
Okay, let me look.
783
00:47:49,116 --> 00:47:51,368
Wait. Didn't you have it
when we were downstairs?
784
00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:53,620
Oh, maybe.
785
00:47:54,956 --> 00:47:56,623
Let's go.
786
00:47:56,707 --> 00:47:59,000
Guys, get the hell
out of there right now.
787
00:48:01,462 --> 00:48:02,796
Come on. Come on.
788
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,131
It's clear!
Go, go, go!
789
00:48:10,972 --> 00:48:13,431
They're coming back.
790
00:48:17,979 --> 00:48:21,022
Oh, I'm just so glad
I found him. He's my
favorite collectible.
791
00:48:21,274 --> 00:48:22,691
I know.
792
00:48:25,319 --> 00:48:27,904
Hey, guys, we got
nothing to worry about.
793
00:48:27,989 --> 00:48:31,658
I just remembered.
I got that dildo
from the other bedroom.
794
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:37,622
Holy shit! There's
a dildo in my drawer.
795
00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:41,501
Oh, my God! You could
have asked me if you
wanted to borrow it.
796
00:48:41,627 --> 00:48:42,627
I've never even
seen it before.
797
00:48:42,712 --> 00:48:44,170
Stop it.
Shh!
798
00:48:45,590 --> 00:48:46,673
Your breath stinks.
799
00:48:47,091 --> 00:48:49,968
What the hell was that?
I don't know.
Call 911.
800
00:48:50,886 --> 00:48:53,263
Hey, hey! No, no, no!
Hold on! Hold on!
801
00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:55,098
No 911.
Don't call the police.
802
00:48:55,182 --> 00:48:56,933
My God, it's
the painting kids.
803
00:48:57,018 --> 00:48:58,643
I don't care.
I'm still calling the cops.
804
00:48:59,186 --> 00:49:01,021
Okay, no, no, no.
This isn't right.
805
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:04,107
Okay, look.
Stifler did break in here.
You dick!
806
00:49:04,191 --> 00:49:06,693
But we just
followed him in
to get him out.
807
00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:12,115
I just wanted proof that you
chicks are really lesbians.
808
00:49:16,162 --> 00:49:18,788
You wanna
mess with 'em?
809
00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:21,041
Yeah, it'll be fun.
810
00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:23,251
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
811
00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:26,504
You guys like that?
812
00:49:34,722 --> 00:49:37,307
Ozzy, stand by
for confirmation.
813
00:49:39,060 --> 00:49:41,645
That's a big 10-4
on the confirmation.
814
00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:47,942
Sounds like your little
friends outside
wanna play too.
815
00:49:51,155 --> 00:49:52,697
You won't be needing this.
816
00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:55,909
Who wants me
to touch Amber?
817
00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,662
I do, I do.
818
00:49:58,746 --> 00:49:59,746
Who the hell is that?
819
00:50:00,289 --> 00:50:01,539
Who's this?
820
00:50:01,957 --> 00:50:05,126
Uh, this is John... Smith.
821
00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:08,254
I'm turning off
my radio now.
822
00:50:09,382 --> 00:50:13,635
Okay.
Where should I touch Amber?
823
00:50:14,053 --> 00:50:16,137
Ass, baby.
Feel that ass!
824
00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:18,890
Okay.
825
00:50:19,058 --> 00:50:22,268
That's nice.
Oooh.
826
00:50:25,231 --> 00:50:28,983
I know.
You feel his ass first.
827
00:50:30,403 --> 00:50:31,444
Excuse me?
828
00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:34,072
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
That's good.
It's good.
829
00:50:34,365 --> 00:50:37,075
Yeah, so I got some painting
I should, uh... It's...
830
00:50:37,410 --> 00:50:40,120
Jim, hold on.
I can handle it.
831
00:50:40,538 --> 00:50:42,914
What?
Stifler, I'm comfortable
with my sexuality.
832
00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:45,583
And I would love
to see that show.
833
00:50:45,668 --> 00:50:47,752
Bravo!
834
00:50:51,507 --> 00:50:53,925
One finger, on the cheek.
835
00:50:54,135 --> 00:50:56,761
We want palm
836
00:50:57,638 --> 00:50:58,763
grasping.
837
00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:01,975
Oh, that's too much.
No, no, no.
838
00:51:02,101 --> 00:51:03,810
You don't touch,
we don't touch.
839
00:51:04,186 --> 00:51:06,020
Squeeze his ass, son.
You'll like it.
840
00:51:06,313 --> 00:51:07,814
Come on, boys.
841
00:51:08,107 --> 00:51:11,943
Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit.
842
00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:15,739
I'm touching his ass.
I'm touching his ass.
843
00:51:17,533 --> 00:51:19,242
Red Leader,
what's your position?
844
00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:23,329
I'm touching his ass.
I'm touching his ass.
Mommy!
845
00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:25,957
You can go.
846
00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:27,584
That really wasn't bad.
847
00:51:27,710 --> 00:51:30,170
I wanna go home.
That's too bad.
848
00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:34,799
Never mind.
I'm staying.
849
00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:37,510
Danielle is feeling
my breasts.
850
00:51:40,181 --> 00:51:42,015
No way, dude!
851
00:51:42,349 --> 00:51:45,810
Her breasts are so luscious.
What a wonderful Christmas
gift you bought the boys.
852
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:49,022
My nipples are so hard.
853
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:51,900
I think I can
fix these.
854
00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:00,074
Sweet Jesus.
855
00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:03,036
Your turn.
856
00:52:04,455 --> 00:52:05,789
Oh, yeah!
857
00:52:05,873 --> 00:52:09,209
No, no, no.
Mmm-mmm.
858
00:52:09,585 --> 00:52:11,211
Him.
859
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,216
Kiss.
860
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:18,384
Dude, no.
861
00:52:18,886 --> 00:52:21,721
Wait. What?
Oh, yeah.
You want more?
862
00:52:22,181 --> 00:52:24,766
We want more.
Go get him, tiger.
863
00:52:25,059 --> 00:52:26,392
You'll like it.
You're gonna love it.
864
00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:27,727
Do it for us.
865
00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:32,607
Okay, dude.
866
00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:36,986
One, two,
867
00:52:40,407 --> 00:52:41,574
That doesn't even count.
868
00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,243
That counted.
That totally counted.
869
00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:44,702
That's how you kiss
your mother.
870
00:52:44,829 --> 00:52:45,995
Don't you say anything!
871
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:49,165
Make it real.
You do that,
872
00:52:49,250 --> 00:52:51,376
we'll do anything you want.
873
00:52:51,752 --> 00:52:53,086
Anything?
874
00:52:53,337 --> 00:52:54,337
Anything.
875
00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:56,714
Anything.
Anything.
876
00:52:57,758 --> 00:52:59,050
You better like it.
877
00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:01,302
I promise. Promise.
I wouldn't lie.
878
00:53:04,056 --> 00:53:05,682
Come on.
879
00:53:09,812 --> 00:53:11,938
That is what
I'm talking about.
880
00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:14,107
Ah, Kev, you can look.
881
00:53:15,401 --> 00:53:16,860
Ooh!
882
00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:20,697
That's it.
883
00:53:20,865 --> 00:53:23,032
Where's your tongue?
884
00:53:28,289 --> 00:53:29,873
Good boys.
885
00:53:29,999 --> 00:53:32,667
Very good.
Dude, you're
a fuckin' lousy kisser.
886
00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,586
What? I wasn't trying!
887
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:36,629
That's not fair!
888
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:39,299
I wasn't trying there.
I'm really... I'm not...
889
00:53:39,508 --> 00:53:40,925
No judgment.
Nope.
890
00:53:41,635 --> 00:53:43,386
Wait a second.
You were trying?
891
00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:44,804
Fuck no!
You were trying!
892
00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:45,889
You were trying?
You were trying!
893
00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:48,808
Oh, my... That's disg...
Oh, I kissed Jim!
894
00:53:48,893 --> 00:53:50,810
Silence. Silence.
Silence!
895
00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,062
Ladies.
Yes?
896
00:53:53,147 --> 00:53:54,856
As you were.
897
00:53:56,984 --> 00:53:59,110
Here we go.
Let's do it.
898
00:54:00,112 --> 00:54:01,154
Okay.
899
00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:09,370
Ooh. Ahh.
900
00:54:09,455 --> 00:54:11,372
Amber!
901
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:16,920
Them girls sound like the two
transvestites we picked up
in Biloxi, Cooter.
902
00:54:17,129 --> 00:54:19,422
Honey, come on. Food's ready.
I'm not hungry!
903
00:54:26,388 --> 00:54:27,639
I can't...
904
00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:31,392
I can't believe it.
Okay, okay, just do it.
905
00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:33,811
Ooh!
Oh.
906
00:54:35,314 --> 00:54:37,190
Oh, God.
It was worth it.
907
00:54:37,399 --> 00:54:39,067
Hello!
Oh!
908
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:43,571
Whoo!
909
00:54:50,371 --> 00:54:51,663
Keep going.
910
00:54:51,789 --> 00:54:53,206
Uh, Amber.
911
00:54:55,668 --> 00:54:58,127
Okay, I think
that's enough.
That's good.
912
00:54:58,212 --> 00:54:59,796
I want more.
Hell, yeah.
913
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:01,673
Yeah.
I want more, too, baby.
914
00:55:02,049 --> 00:55:03,424
Mm-hmm.
915
00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:07,887
We're gonna get more
physical as soon as
we get some...
916
00:55:09,390 --> 00:55:10,556
Hand jobs.
917
00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:11,849
Okay!
918
00:55:13,727 --> 00:55:15,395
Yeah.
Hand jobs.
919
00:55:16,689 --> 00:55:18,064
You, do him.
920
00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:20,108
We love to watch.
921
00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:22,485
I'm sorry?
Yeah.
922
00:55:22,569 --> 00:55:24,737
You go. You go.
We go. We go.
923
00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:31,744
Don't be a wimp.
924
00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:39,043
Okay. It's okay.
I know what I have to do.
925
00:55:39,712 --> 00:55:42,463
I need to keep
this party goin'.
926
00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:45,591
I'm takin' one
for the team.
927
00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:49,679
Mother of God!
Come on, you pussies.
We had 'em.
928
00:55:49,763 --> 00:55:52,432
I am not touching that.
Put that thing away,
Stifler.
929
00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:55,309
Why can't you guys
be team players, huh?
930
00:55:55,936 --> 00:55:57,812
I was the one doin'
all the sacrificin'.
931
00:56:00,232 --> 00:56:01,315
Whoo!
932
00:56:02,276 --> 00:56:04,569
And now, for our
devoted listeners,
933
00:56:04,653 --> 00:56:06,112
back to the show.
934
00:56:06,780 --> 00:56:09,407
Amber, let me
try that dildo.
935
00:56:12,786 --> 00:56:14,537
Okay. Now wait
just a minute.
936
00:56:14,621 --> 00:56:17,498
Stifler wanted to give
you two hand jobs?
937
00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:21,335
No. Stifler wanted
one from us.
938
00:56:21,670 --> 00:56:23,504
What? Bullshit.
939
00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:25,381
No, he did, okay?
And it was horrible, Oz.
940
00:56:25,966 --> 00:56:27,592
Very horrible.
941
00:56:27,676 --> 00:56:29,677
You guys, you wanna
play some "asshole"?
942
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:32,430
Eh. Just watching
the game, Kev.
943
00:56:32,514 --> 00:56:34,474
Hey, I just wanna
do something together.
944
00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:36,601
We just did something
together.
945
00:56:36,977 --> 00:56:39,937
Very together.
Ho ho ho.
946
00:56:40,022 --> 00:56:41,981
Stifler Claus is here.
947
00:56:42,649 --> 00:56:45,193
Now, just so there's
no confusion,
948
00:56:45,277 --> 00:56:49,280
Santa Porn has just
brought us some
heterosexual entertainment.
949
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:51,449
Here you go.
950
00:56:52,659 --> 00:56:54,202
All right. Here.
951
00:56:54,286 --> 00:56:57,288
And the Stifmeister's
provided us some
complimentary lubricant.
952
00:56:57,498 --> 00:56:59,248
Whack away, Jim. Whack away.
953
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,875
Does this stuff really
make a difference?
954
00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:03,669
Oh, yeah!
Really?
955
00:57:10,010 --> 00:57:13,596
Stifmeister's palace
of love...
Uh, straight love.
956
00:57:14,723 --> 00:57:18,309
Oh, hey.
Yeah, I'm fine.
How about you?
957
00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:19,560
That's Stifler's mom.
958
00:57:19,645 --> 00:57:20,853
Silence.
959
00:57:20,938 --> 00:57:22,897
I didn't really think
you were gonna be
in Michigan this summer.
960
00:57:23,315 --> 00:57:25,066
Yeah, you're more
than welcome to be here.
961
00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:30,279
Okay, stop by in a couple
of weeks. We're having
a big party. Okay, bye.
962
00:57:30,364 --> 00:57:32,115
Uh, Stifler, was that...
963
00:57:32,491 --> 00:57:33,825
Okay.
964
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:36,869
She's coming.
965
00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:44,043
Stifler's mom
is coming here.
966
00:57:46,713 --> 00:57:48,506
Efforts must be doubled.
967
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:52,343
"Efforts must be doubled."
968
00:57:54,429 --> 00:57:55,763
Absolutely.
969
00:58:03,355 --> 00:58:04,981
Jenny, where'd you
put my clarinet?
970
00:58:05,065 --> 00:58:07,567
I think I shoved it
in your box. Thanks!
971
00:58:07,651 --> 00:58:11,154
Bad man.
I'm a bad, bad man.
972
00:58:13,574 --> 00:58:15,908
Michelle. Michelle. Hi. Hi.
973
00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:17,785
Jim, what are
you doing here?
974
00:58:17,870 --> 00:58:20,329
I... Well, I thought
you had said...
975
00:58:20,414 --> 00:58:23,082
You can't just
stand out here.
976
00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:27,503
Look, I need your help.
977
00:58:27,588 --> 00:58:29,505
Nadia's coming back,
978
00:58:29,590 --> 00:58:31,340
and I don't...
979
00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:33,885
I don't wanna be this awkward,
980
00:58:33,969 --> 00:58:36,846
bumbling, nervous guy
with her.
981
00:58:36,930 --> 00:58:38,556
I don't wanna
seem like a dork.
982
00:58:38,849 --> 00:58:40,808
Well, I know that feeling.
983
00:58:40,893 --> 00:58:43,102
Yeah. Spend your life
playing in the band,
984
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:47,190
it doesn't exactly give you
the ultra-cool hipster image.
985
00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:48,941
I think you're
pretty cool.
986
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:50,860
Seriously?
987
00:58:51,278 --> 00:58:52,403
Yeah.
988
00:58:55,282 --> 00:58:58,492
Michelle, why did you
ditch me after prom?
989
00:58:58,994 --> 00:59:02,872
I didn't ditch you.
I... I just...
990
00:59:02,956 --> 00:59:04,457
Our date was over.
991
00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:07,251
I mean, did you
want some
992
00:59:07,336 --> 00:59:10,129
funky, weird,
next-morning good-bye?
993
00:59:11,673 --> 00:59:15,760
It's not like I wanted you
to pretend you were
in love with me or something.
994
00:59:16,136 --> 00:59:17,595
Why would I pretend that?
995
00:59:17,679 --> 00:59:19,138
Guys do that.
996
00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:24,060
Yeah, well, I'm
not like other guys.
997
00:59:25,312 --> 00:59:26,854
I know.
998
00:59:27,606 --> 00:59:30,191
Okay, I'm gonna help you.
999
00:59:30,275 --> 00:59:32,151
Really?
1000
00:59:32,236 --> 00:59:35,071
Yeah, I feel bad for
saying that you sucked,
1001
00:59:35,155 --> 00:59:36,656
even though you kind of did.
1002
00:59:38,492 --> 00:59:40,493
Oh. Okay.
1003
00:59:40,702 --> 00:59:42,578
I'm just...
1004
00:59:42,663 --> 00:59:44,872
Let's just get started.
Okay.
1005
00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:48,251
Okay. Now,
I'm a hot girl.
Right.
1006
00:59:48,335 --> 00:59:51,545
Okay, what do you wanna do?
I wanna feel your boobs.
1007
00:59:51,630 --> 00:59:53,422
No, you dingbat.
1008
00:59:53,507 --> 00:59:56,384
You don't just
go groping away.
1009
00:59:56,468 --> 00:59:59,512
You gotta preheat
the oven before you
stick in the turkey.
1010
01:00:01,932 --> 01:00:03,349
Okay.
1011
01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:04,850
Kiss me, here.
1012
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:13,067
Good. Okay, now,
1013
01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:14,819
the collarbone.
Kiss.
1014
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:21,367
Good, Jim.
1015
01:00:22,244 --> 01:00:23,703
Oh, you're making me wet.
1016
01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:27,290
Holy shit. Really?
No, I was just saying that
so you could practice.
1017
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:30,418
Of course.
1018
01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:34,964
Okay, Jim.
That was good.
1019
01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:37,174
Let's work
on something else.
1020
01:00:51,898 --> 01:00:55,901
Does direction matter? Like
clockwise, counterclockwise,
make a difference?
1021
01:00:55,986 --> 01:00:58,446
Okay, Jim,
this is what
I'm talking about.
1022
01:00:58,572 --> 01:01:02,658
Your main problem is
you're so uptight.
1023
01:01:03,577 --> 01:01:07,246
Do I seem uptight
about my sexual stuff?
No.
1024
01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:10,833
The biggest pointer
I could give you is...
1025
01:01:10,917 --> 01:01:14,337
You have to feel comfortable
in any situation.
1026
01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:16,881
Stand up.
Hmm?
1027
01:01:17,591 --> 01:01:20,051
Stand up.
Ohh!
1028
01:01:20,385 --> 01:01:23,679
Now, this is
a fucked-up situation.
What happened to preheating?
1029
01:01:23,805 --> 01:01:26,599
We're skipping
a few chapters.
Oh, okay.
1030
01:01:26,767 --> 01:01:30,102
This is good.
This is good.
Obviously.
1031
01:01:31,438 --> 01:01:33,564
Ooh!
Gilligan's Island,
Mr. Howell.
1032
01:01:33,648 --> 01:01:35,399
What?
1033
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:39,278
You've got to control
yourself and think of
something nonsexual.
1034
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,740
I haven't even touched
you yet, and you're turning
into the Sears Tower.
1035
01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:45,826
I'm sorry.
Yeah, uh, nonsexual.
1036
01:01:45,911 --> 01:01:48,621
Right, right.
Um, okay.
1037
01:01:49,247 --> 01:01:51,457
Chairs.
Chairs.
Good.
1038
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:55,336
Uh, uh...
Mastodons.
1039
01:01:55,796 --> 01:01:58,089
Uh, uh...
Good.
1040
01:01:58,757 --> 01:02:00,341
Cleaning my bathroom.
1041
01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:03,427
Dung beetles.
Good.
1042
01:02:03,595 --> 01:02:05,971
Yeah.
Okay. Now,
don't freak out.
1043
01:02:06,139 --> 01:02:09,183
I'm gonna do something
to push your threshold.
Okay...
1044
01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:11,644
Oh, that's cold!
What are you doing?
1045
01:02:11,812 --> 01:02:15,147
I just shoved
a trumpet in your ass.
Aren't instruments fun?
1046
01:02:15,399 --> 01:02:18,567
Okay, I think you've just
crossed my threshold.
1047
01:02:18,652 --> 01:02:20,194
We gotta go!
1048
01:02:28,787 --> 01:02:32,081
Call me in two weeks.
I'll be home then.
We can finish lessons.
1049
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:33,916
Okay.
Oh!
1050
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:40,172
Pointer,
less tongue.
1051
01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:01,485
What is it? A guest book?
Yeah, and look at this entry.
1052
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:04,405
"Best thing was the blowout
at Tom Myers' place.
1053
01:03:04,531 --> 01:03:06,949
There he is.
"A night not soon
to be forgotten.
1054
01:03:07,033 --> 01:03:09,702
"August '93."
It's your brother, man.
Look.
1055
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,662
Yeah, his cottage was
right down on the beach.
1056
01:03:11,746 --> 01:03:15,207
Guys, this is what
our party's gotta be.
1057
01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:18,294
Something we'll always
remember, you know?
Yes, definitely.
1058
01:03:18,378 --> 01:03:21,338
Absolutely.
1059
01:03:21,423 --> 01:03:22,631
You go fish.
1060
01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:24,258
Finch, we're playing gin.
1061
01:03:25,343 --> 01:03:27,470
Oh.
1062
01:03:27,637 --> 01:03:29,597
Gin.
1063
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:54,246
Huh!
1064
01:04:20,941 --> 01:04:24,401
What the fuck?
1065
01:05:01,815 --> 01:05:03,440
"Dear Jim,
1066
01:05:04,693 --> 01:05:08,404
"Chicago is beautiful,
but it would be better
if you were here.
1067
01:05:08,863 --> 01:05:11,532
"I'm counting the days.
Love, Nadia."
1068
01:05:14,369 --> 01:05:17,037
Well, I wish
you were here, Nadia.
1069
01:05:45,317 --> 01:05:47,901
Have you been dirty?
Oh, yes, baby.
1070
01:05:48,028 --> 01:05:52,489
I've been dirty.
Do you want me
to clean you?
1071
01:05:52,574 --> 01:05:55,618
"Apply a few drops
to achieve desired
lubrication."
1072
01:05:56,620 --> 01:05:57,870
All right.
1073
01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:05,794
Is that a loofah,
or are you just
glad to see me?
1074
01:06:05,879 --> 01:06:08,088
Oh, what the hell.
1075
01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:28,651
Shit.
1076
01:06:29,944 --> 01:06:31,612
Ohh!
1077
01:06:32,572 --> 01:06:34,365
Dear God!
1078
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:37,034
I been missin' out.
1079
01:06:44,918 --> 01:06:46,293
Uh-oh.
1080
01:06:47,420 --> 01:06:48,962
Ow.
1081
01:06:55,428 --> 01:06:58,097
Oh. Oh, shit! Ah!
1082
01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:04,603
Oh, shit!
1083
01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:07,481
Oh! Ow! Jeez...
1084
01:07:10,652 --> 01:07:13,445
Everybody okay?
I'm fine.
1085
01:07:13,613 --> 01:07:15,489
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
1086
01:07:15,657 --> 01:07:18,200
Shut the fuck up,
or I'll break down this door
and pummel your ass!
1087
01:07:18,284 --> 01:07:20,953
No, don't come in here.
I'm fine. Everything...
1088
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:23,497
I just fell out of the bed.
Okay, good night, then.
You sure?
1089
01:07:23,581 --> 01:07:26,166
Okay. We'll see you
in the morning.
Uh, night.
1090
01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:39,138
Oh!
1091
01:07:40,181 --> 01:07:43,142
Shit!
Oh, shit!
1092
01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:50,065
Aah!
1093
01:07:50,150 --> 01:07:52,609
Ow! Aah!
1094
01:07:59,576 --> 01:08:01,827
Ow!
1095
01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,834
Poison control.
Hello?
1096
01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:11,086
Uh, hi, hi.
1097
01:08:11,171 --> 01:08:15,090
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I kind of, uh,
1098
01:08:15,175 --> 01:08:17,676
uh, Super Glued myself
1099
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:20,471
to, uh, myself.
1100
01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:23,557
No. Uh, no.
1101
01:08:23,641 --> 01:08:25,851
Ow. Don't, uh,
don't send an ambulance.
1102
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:30,063
Look, is there anything,
uh, you know,
around the house?
1103
01:08:33,693 --> 01:08:35,027
Paint thinner.
1104
01:09:17,070 --> 01:09:18,570
David?
1105
01:09:31,584 --> 01:09:32,960
Shit.
1106
01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:41,677
Don't move!
Stay where you are!
1107
01:09:42,428 --> 01:09:44,596
Hands where
we can see 'em!
1108
01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:47,724
Both hands! Get the other
hand up, goddamn it!
1109
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,353
I can't! I can't!
I'm glued!
1110
01:09:51,437 --> 01:09:55,440
I'm glued!
Sorry.
1111
01:09:55,942 --> 01:09:58,360
Relax your hands.
1112
01:09:58,444 --> 01:10:00,445
I'll take it
from here, okay?
1113
01:10:01,781 --> 01:10:03,532
Don't worry, Jimbo.
You're gonna be fine, buddy.
1114
01:10:03,616 --> 01:10:06,243
Jim, this happens
to the best of us.
1115
01:10:11,165 --> 01:10:14,251
Left foot first.
Easy does it. Good.
1116
01:10:14,919 --> 01:10:17,713
Watch your head.
All right. Take a seat.
1117
01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:19,131
Ahh!
1118
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:21,967
Excuse me, sir.
Are you a family member?
1119
01:10:22,260 --> 01:10:24,887
Fuck, no!
This is just
too good to miss!
1120
01:10:24,971 --> 01:10:28,307
Okay, sir, you're just
gonna have to wait here.
All right?
1121
01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:37,524
This summer's
turning out to be great.
1122
01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:56,335
Mucilage is, um,
dangerous territory.
1123
01:10:56,461 --> 01:11:00,923
And I would think
any adhesive product
1124
01:11:01,132 --> 01:11:04,343
would have a warning
right on the...
On the tube.
1125
01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:08,138
I thought it was,
uh, uh, lubricant.
1126
01:11:08,514 --> 01:11:11,850
Okay, I was trying
to use lubricant.
1127
01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:16,647
Oh.
1128
01:11:18,858 --> 01:11:22,152
Son, couldn't you have left
that disgusting thing
at home?
1129
01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:24,529
Excuse me?
1130
01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:28,659
Well, that kind
of material is
offensive to me.
1131
01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:31,995
Oh, well, we're sorry.
1132
01:11:33,456 --> 01:11:36,375
But you see, my son
couldn't leave it at home
1133
01:11:36,459 --> 01:11:39,836
because he's having a bit
of a medical emergency.
1134
01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:41,213
That's right.
Thanks, Dad.
1135
01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:44,091
Your opinion of his taste
in video rentals,
I'm afraid,
1136
01:11:44,175 --> 01:11:46,218
is, uh, not
a priority, lady.
1137
01:11:46,302 --> 01:11:50,180
Dad...
Okay? It's at the bottom
of the totem pole.
1138
01:11:50,556 --> 01:11:51,765
Okay?
1139
01:11:53,101 --> 01:11:55,018
Thank you, Dad. Okay.
1140
01:11:55,103 --> 01:11:58,981
My son is sitting
here right now
1141
01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:01,692
with his hand
glued to his penis.
1142
01:12:03,152 --> 01:12:05,654
But that doesn't mean
anything to you,
does it?
1143
01:12:05,738 --> 01:12:07,990
Because you
don't have a penis.
1144
01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:09,908
Or maybe you do!
Dad...
1145
01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:12,703
Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Ow!
1146
01:12:12,787 --> 01:12:17,165
You know, it just bugs me
when people speak
before they think.
1147
01:12:17,750 --> 01:12:19,960
You know, they speak...
1148
01:12:25,466 --> 01:12:26,925
How you doin', son?
1149
01:12:27,010 --> 01:12:28,427
I've been better.
Ah.
1150
01:12:31,556 --> 01:12:34,182
Boy, that doesn't look
too bad, Jim.
1151
01:12:34,851 --> 01:12:36,309
Good job, Doctor.
1152
01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:39,271
The swelling should subside
in about eight or nine days.
1153
01:12:39,439 --> 01:12:41,606
Eight or... Eight or nine...
1154
01:12:43,443 --> 01:12:46,069
Beach party's in a week.
Nadia's coming.
1155
01:12:46,821 --> 01:12:49,698
Oh. Oh.
1156
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:53,410
Doctor, my son has
a party in seven days,
1157
01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:55,662
and there's a young lady
coming
1158
01:12:55,747 --> 01:12:58,081
that he's been
waiting to...
1159
01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:02,127
He's been waiting
to get with.
1160
01:13:02,462 --> 01:13:05,630
I'd tell your son
to keep his pants on
during that party.
1161
01:13:05,965 --> 01:13:09,551
Oh, yes, yes. Believe me,
I will be doing that.
It goes without saying.
1162
01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:12,095
But if his pants
1163
01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:14,765
decide to come off
during the party,
1164
01:13:15,099 --> 01:13:17,684
could he have
full use of his,
1165
01:13:18,311 --> 01:13:21,396
um, penis?
1166
01:13:22,190 --> 01:13:23,607
Okay.
1167
01:13:26,152 --> 01:13:27,986
This should shave
a couple of days off.
1168
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:30,197
Oh, good.
1169
01:13:30,990 --> 01:13:32,866
Thank you, Doctor.
1170
01:13:32,950 --> 01:13:34,159
Jim,
1171
01:13:35,369 --> 01:13:37,412
that's good news.
1172
01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:41,458
This has been
a good-news day, son.
Here. Put this on.
1173
01:13:42,085 --> 01:13:43,418
Little chilly
out there.
1174
01:13:45,922 --> 01:13:47,714
Well, here we are.
1175
01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:50,675
You know, Jim, um,
1176
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:54,387
I think we should keep
your mother in the dark
about the incident tonight.
1177
01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:57,891
I think the whole glue
thing might get her
a little queasy.
1178
01:13:58,768 --> 01:14:01,478
I don't know how I get
myself into these things.
1179
01:14:05,942 --> 01:14:07,567
But thanks for understanding.
1180
01:14:07,902 --> 01:14:10,362
You've been really cool.
1181
01:14:10,446 --> 01:14:12,405
I mean, between this and,
1182
01:14:12,782 --> 01:14:14,241
you know...
1183
01:14:16,327 --> 01:14:20,205
You know, you may be
Jimbo or Jumbo
1184
01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:23,333
or Jimbodinny
to these guys in here,
1185
01:14:23,501 --> 01:14:26,461
but I want you to know
there are two people
1186
01:14:26,546 --> 01:14:29,714
who still remember where
James Emanuel Levenstein
came from.
1187
01:14:32,009 --> 01:14:34,052
We're awful proud
of you, son.
1188
01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,305
Thanks, Dad.
1189
01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:39,599
Don't forget
your penis cream.
1190
01:14:59,954 --> 01:15:01,913
That was it.
1191
01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:05,959
Right there.
That was a pure
tantric moment.
1192
01:15:07,003 --> 01:15:09,754
The ficus, the water...
It was all erotic.
1193
01:15:10,590 --> 01:15:14,759
One more stimulant,
I would have had
full release.
1194
01:15:15,052 --> 01:15:19,181
Finch, stay the fuck
away from that ficus.
1195
01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:22,893
That's a jizz-free ficus.
1196
01:15:23,686 --> 01:15:27,230
There he is. Morning,
Jimbo. How's the twig
and giggleberries, man?
1197
01:15:27,315 --> 01:15:30,609
Oh, very colorful.
My dick looks like
a paint-by-numbers.
1198
01:15:31,611 --> 01:15:36,198
Jim, you're
the only guy I know whose dick
needs an instruction manual.
1199
01:15:41,370 --> 01:15:42,913
Casa de Stifler.
1200
01:15:44,290 --> 01:15:45,957
Oh, hey.
1201
01:15:47,126 --> 01:15:50,503
What, you're here now?
No, that's cool.
1202
01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:53,131
You know, if you want to
hang out with these guys.
1203
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:55,383
Okay, then.
I'll meet you out front.
1204
01:15:58,221 --> 01:15:59,596
Hey, Stifler, was that...
1205
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,264
Eat shit, Shitbreak.
1206
01:16:03,100 --> 01:16:06,144
She's here.
1207
01:16:08,648 --> 01:16:10,482
My lady has arrived.
1208
01:16:13,653 --> 01:16:15,111
I gotta prepare.
1209
01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:18,073
Here we go.
Great.
Stifler's mom is here?
1210
01:16:18,157 --> 01:16:20,283
This could be
a disaster.
1211
01:16:20,451 --> 01:16:22,327
Whoa.
1212
01:16:22,828 --> 01:16:25,288
Not unless Stifler's mom
drives a moped.
1213
01:16:25,498 --> 01:16:26,790
Moped?
1214
01:16:29,961 --> 01:16:33,421
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers.
How you doin', boys?
1215
01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:36,716
That's Stifler's
little brother.
What are you doing here?
1216
01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:39,469
Pussy, man.
I'm here for the pussy.
1217
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:41,304
Take a number.
1218
01:16:41,430 --> 01:16:45,100
Gentlemen, why all the noise?
Everybody knows that this is
my special day.
1219
01:16:45,184 --> 01:16:46,268
What is that?
1220
01:16:46,352 --> 01:16:49,187
Is that a fuckin' dress?
Are you wearing a dress?
1221
01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:52,107
Shitbreak, meet
my little brother.
1222
01:16:52,525 --> 01:16:54,359
Little brother,
meet Shitbreak.
1223
01:16:55,486 --> 01:16:57,654
That's your brother?
Yes.
1224
01:17:00,366 --> 01:17:02,534
My lady's not coming.
1225
01:17:03,995 --> 01:17:08,915
So my entire
stockpile is wasted,
1226
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,376
and I look ridiculous!
1227
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:14,963
Excuse me.
1228
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:22,220
That didn't look
too good.
No.
1229
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:26,558
Let's go find your room.
Dude, where are
the fuckin' females?
1230
01:17:30,604 --> 01:17:32,731
I can't believe
I finally got you alone.
1231
01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:35,066
That only took,
what, six weeks?
1232
01:17:36,110 --> 01:17:38,862
So, uh, are you alone too?
1233
01:17:39,155 --> 01:17:41,406
Yep.
Good.
1234
01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:44,409
I'm all alone.
1235
01:17:45,161 --> 01:17:48,121
Guess what I had
in mind?
1236
01:17:51,208 --> 01:17:53,543
Hey, Marco, can you
get your balls off me?
1237
01:17:54,587 --> 01:17:56,755
Thanks.
Heather, what the hell's
going on over there?
1238
01:17:57,089 --> 01:18:00,467
Uh, nothing.
It's just my flatmates.
1239
01:18:01,135 --> 01:18:03,303
I guess this is kind of
a lost cause, huh?
1240
01:18:03,429 --> 01:18:06,348
Yeah, I guess so.
I can't wait.
See ya this weekend?
1241
01:18:06,432 --> 01:18:09,267
I can't wait either.
Bye-bye.
1242
01:18:13,356 --> 01:18:16,024
Surprise!
Holy... Nadia!
1243
01:18:16,734 --> 01:18:19,611
You're here? You're here.
What are you doing here?
1244
01:18:19,987 --> 01:18:21,863
Jim, I got so tired
of sightseeing.
1245
01:18:22,239 --> 01:18:24,324
But you're...
You're early.
1246
01:18:24,950 --> 01:18:27,911
Okay.
Nice to know you.
1247
01:18:27,995 --> 01:18:30,538
I will leave.
No!
1248
01:18:31,082 --> 01:18:34,167
No. Uh, don't...
Don't leave.
1249
01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:36,294
Don't leave.
No leaving.
1250
01:18:36,462 --> 01:18:37,962
Uh, no. Uh...
1251
01:18:39,924 --> 01:18:43,218
It's just, I'm not
gonna be ready...
1252
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:48,139
I mean, the party
won't be ready, uh,
until Saturday.
1253
01:18:49,433 --> 01:18:52,227
I can stay here
until then?
1254
01:18:52,311 --> 01:18:54,145
Yeah.
1255
01:18:55,106 --> 01:18:57,440
I'm gonna be right back.
Is that okay?
1256
01:18:57,525 --> 01:18:59,317
Okay.
Nadia.
1257
01:18:59,985 --> 01:19:02,821
Who's in my room.
Now. Holy shit.
1258
01:19:04,824 --> 01:19:06,741
All right,
I've got a plan.
1259
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:09,869
Okay. How about
I come back with you
1260
01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:13,456
and you say, "Hello, this is
Michelle, my girlfriend."
1261
01:19:13,541 --> 01:19:17,043
And obviously,
Nadia won't expect you
to hop in the sack.
1262
01:19:17,420 --> 01:19:20,588
And then we break up
the day of the party.
1263
01:19:20,673 --> 01:19:22,882
And you're all healed
and back on the market.
1264
01:19:24,135 --> 01:19:25,427
You're evil.
1265
01:19:25,511 --> 01:19:26,636
No way!
1266
01:19:26,804 --> 01:19:28,805
I'm like Cupid.
1267
01:19:29,181 --> 01:19:31,516
And I know how
to make a girl jealous.
1268
01:19:31,892 --> 01:19:33,476
This is gonna be fun.
1269
01:19:33,853 --> 01:19:35,770
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you sooner,
1270
01:19:35,855 --> 01:19:38,106
but we just started seeing
each other a few weeks ago.
1271
01:19:39,358 --> 01:19:44,362
Um... But
I'd really love it
if you stayed here.
1272
01:19:44,530 --> 01:19:47,323
I think you should stay
and have fun at the party.
1273
01:19:47,575 --> 01:19:51,035
Good for you, Jim.
Of course I will stay.
1274
01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:54,456
That's great... Ah!
That's my nipples!
1275
01:19:54,540 --> 01:19:56,624
She just loves my nipples.
1276
01:21:26,674 --> 01:21:29,217
Oh, no.
1277
01:21:29,677 --> 01:21:32,470
Oh, my God.
You still broken?
1278
01:21:33,013 --> 01:21:34,180
No.
1279
01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:36,266
I'm fine.
1280
01:21:36,350 --> 01:21:39,769
I might have to
actually go through with this.
1281
01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:45,483
Jim, what's the big deal
with Nadia, anyway?
1282
01:21:45,776 --> 01:21:49,571
I mean, okay, so she's
50,000 times hotter
1283
01:21:49,655 --> 01:21:51,447
than most girls, but...
1284
01:21:51,532 --> 01:21:53,575
Come on,
it's just sex.
1285
01:21:54,660 --> 01:21:55,827
Oh, no.
1286
01:21:56,287 --> 01:21:58,246
You saw the thing
on the Internet.
1287
01:21:58,414 --> 01:22:00,582
Did it look like
I might have had
1288
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:03,418
a slight interest
in Nadia then?
1289
01:22:05,004 --> 01:22:06,588
Add another year to that.
1290
01:22:07,172 --> 01:22:08,715
Okay.
1291
01:22:09,758 --> 01:22:14,762
Hey, why don't you bring
Nadia to the concert first?
It'll be a cool date.
1292
01:22:15,806 --> 01:22:17,599
We'll see how things go.
1293
01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:26,608
Michelle,
you have been great.
1294
01:22:26,692 --> 01:22:28,526
Thank you.
1295
01:22:28,611 --> 01:22:30,028
Anytime.
1296
01:22:37,328 --> 01:22:38,870
Come on.
1297
01:22:42,249 --> 01:22:44,250
You ready to break up?
1298
01:22:44,335 --> 01:22:46,586
You big, stupid dummy!
1299
01:22:46,754 --> 01:22:48,838
Theater is so cool!
1300
01:22:49,298 --> 01:22:52,383
I don't care
if you are the best lay
I've ever had in my life.
1301
01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:55,595
I hate your guts anyway.
Don't say that.
1302
01:22:56,555 --> 01:23:00,808
And I don't care
if you did give me
ten orgasms in a row,
1303
01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:03,227
because you smell
really bad.
1304
01:23:05,105 --> 01:23:07,649
No! I smell
really bad!
1305
01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:10,818
Because we've been having
so much sex, and...
1306
01:23:10,903 --> 01:23:14,614
And I haven't showered,
and I wanna shower!
1307
01:23:16,283 --> 01:23:20,119
So, don't you go being all
super-sexy guy anymore,
1308
01:23:20,204 --> 01:23:22,747
because I am now
impervious
1309
01:23:22,831 --> 01:23:26,167
to your unrelenting
machismo and sexual ardor.
1310
01:23:27,252 --> 01:23:30,880
And that includes
fucking me in the ass!
So there!
1311
01:23:38,555 --> 01:23:40,765
We had
something special.
1312
01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:19,137
What's up?
What's up, dog?
1313
01:24:22,141 --> 01:24:24,308
Vicky. Hey.
Hey.
1314
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:26,894
I'm so glad you came.
You want something
to drink or...
1315
01:24:26,979 --> 01:24:27,979
Hey.
1316
01:24:28,522 --> 01:24:29,605
Can I help you?
1317
01:24:30,983 --> 01:24:33,818
Kevin.
That's my date.
What?
1318
01:24:49,168 --> 01:24:51,335
You... You saved them all.
1319
01:24:52,171 --> 01:24:53,504
How sweet.
1320
01:24:54,506 --> 01:24:56,174
You don't think
I'm a dork?
1321
01:24:59,011 --> 01:25:03,514
Whatever you are, Jim,
it is what I like.
1322
01:25:05,559 --> 01:25:07,518
Kevin left.
Didn't look good.
1323
01:25:08,228 --> 01:25:09,353
Kevin left?
1324
01:25:10,355 --> 01:25:11,856
Just wandered
down the beach.
1325
01:25:16,195 --> 01:25:17,945
You okay, Kev?
1326
01:25:21,283 --> 01:25:23,326
Wanna tell us
what's up?
1327
01:25:25,078 --> 01:25:26,871
Wanna feel Finch's ass?
1328
01:25:31,126 --> 01:25:34,045
No, I... I went
to say hi to Vicky,
1329
01:25:34,129 --> 01:25:36,839
and she was there
with a date.
1330
01:25:37,216 --> 01:25:39,842
You hooked up with
three girls this year.
You're doing fine.
1331
01:25:40,177 --> 01:25:41,636
Rule of three, Oz.
1332
01:25:47,559 --> 01:25:50,895
I guess I was living
in the past, wanting
to party with you guys
1333
01:25:50,979 --> 01:25:53,189
and be with Vicky,
it's just like high school.
1334
01:25:53,732 --> 01:25:55,733
You remember
that day after prom?
1335
01:25:56,235 --> 01:25:59,153
You know, we made
a toast to the next step.
1336
01:25:59,947 --> 01:26:02,031
I guess I never took it.
1337
01:26:04,743 --> 01:26:08,287
My brother said that
by the end of the summer
I'd see the big picture.
1338
01:26:09,122 --> 01:26:10,623
And I see it.
1339
01:26:10,707 --> 01:26:13,918
No matter what, times change
and things are different.
1340
01:26:14,586 --> 01:26:17,505
The problem is,
I don't want them to be.
1341
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:19,632
You know, Kevin,
I haven't moved on either.
1342
01:26:20,008 --> 01:26:24,095
I've been obsessed
with the one woman I can't
have a real future with,
1343
01:26:24,471 --> 01:26:28,266
other than a very kinky,
extremely warped one.
1344
01:26:30,018 --> 01:26:32,436
I gotta find
a new goddess.
1345
01:26:33,438 --> 01:26:37,024
It's gonna take patience,
but I've been celibate
all summer.
1346
01:26:37,860 --> 01:26:39,569
Yeah, you kinda get
used to it, though, huh?
1347
01:26:39,945 --> 01:26:41,153
Are you insane?
1348
01:26:43,699 --> 01:26:48,119
Hey, look, Kev,
different does not
necessarily mean worse.
1349
01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:51,330
As a matter of fact,
I think things are
just getting better.
1350
01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:54,292
Or am I gonna have to drag
your ass back to that party
and prove it to you?
1351
01:26:55,460 --> 01:26:56,836
I'll walk.
1352
01:27:12,019 --> 01:27:13,895
Wow!
1353
01:27:13,979 --> 01:27:16,981
You know, you have
beautiful eyes.
1354
01:27:17,357 --> 01:27:19,066
Oh, you're sweet.
1355
01:27:19,818 --> 01:27:21,402
That's a really nice top.
1356
01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:24,739
Oh. Thanks.
You're welcome.
1357
01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:27,992
Wanna fuck?
Are you serious?
1358
01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:31,370
Come on, baby.
Give it to the Stifmeister.
1359
01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:34,165
I think you better...
Your loss.
1360
01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:37,418
Wow. You know,
you have beautiful eyes.
1361
01:27:37,502 --> 01:27:41,005
Come here, dude.
Come on. You're making
an ass out of yourself.
1362
01:27:41,381 --> 01:27:44,592
You're ruining my mojo.
And you're not
the Stifmeister, okay?
1363
01:27:44,676 --> 01:27:47,011
It takes years to develop
true Stifmeister style.
1364
01:27:47,179 --> 01:27:50,389
Come on, man!
I just wanna see some boobs.
1365
01:27:50,557 --> 01:27:52,391
Hey, Pop-Tart.
Dream on, midget.
1366
01:27:52,476 --> 01:27:56,103
Excuse him. Come here.
Take this.
You're on cop watch.
1367
01:27:56,188 --> 01:27:58,314
Go out in the driveway.
See any cops, call me, okay?
1368
01:27:58,398 --> 01:28:00,858
Steve...
All right.
1369
01:28:10,786 --> 01:28:14,497
Gentlemen, uh,
this appears to be a party.
1370
01:28:18,043 --> 01:28:21,253
Guys, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go look for Nadia.
1371
01:28:21,338 --> 01:28:23,547
Good luck.
1372
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:25,883
Ahh.
1373
01:28:26,385 --> 01:28:28,719
So what was this year
like for you?
1374
01:28:28,804 --> 01:28:30,888
Did you miss high school?
1375
01:28:31,056 --> 01:28:34,892
Well, no. When you travel
as much as I do,
1376
01:28:34,977 --> 01:28:37,895
you get used to
moving on.
1377
01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:40,106
But I have great memories.
1378
01:28:44,361 --> 01:28:47,238
Wow, can we go in there?
The lighthouse?
1379
01:28:47,572 --> 01:28:48,906
Yeah.
1380
01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:52,326
Yes.
1381
01:28:52,411 --> 01:28:54,245
Yes, we can.
1382
01:28:54,413 --> 01:28:56,455
How romantic.
1383
01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:00,251
Jim, come on.
1384
01:29:11,596 --> 01:29:15,641
Wow!
1385
01:29:17,310 --> 01:29:20,271
Oh, it's beautiful!
1386
01:29:20,856 --> 01:29:22,940
Cool!
1387
01:29:24,818 --> 01:29:29,030
Jim, I have told you my
memories from high school.
1388
01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:30,948
What are yours?
1389
01:29:31,116 --> 01:29:32,992
Oh, uh...
1390
01:29:33,577 --> 01:29:37,663
Well, uh, you.
1391
01:29:38,582 --> 01:29:40,041
You have not changed.
1392
01:29:44,838 --> 01:29:46,422
Jim, relax.
1393
01:29:48,050 --> 01:29:52,386
We are just,
how do you say,
tooting our horns.
1394
01:29:53,388 --> 01:29:55,306
Actually, that is
quite difficult.
1395
01:29:55,390 --> 01:29:56,932
How do you mean?
1396
01:29:57,559 --> 01:30:00,728
Well, this one time
at band camp,
1397
01:30:00,812 --> 01:30:02,855
I...
1398
01:30:06,359 --> 01:30:07,818
Holy shit.
1399
01:30:09,863 --> 01:30:11,697
What? Tell me.
1400
01:30:12,657 --> 01:30:14,116
Uh, well, uh,
1401
01:30:14,201 --> 01:30:16,911
this one time
at band camp,
1402
01:30:17,829 --> 01:30:19,789
I got stuck
playing this trombone.
1403
01:30:19,873 --> 01:30:23,125
And I can't play
anything at all.
So I totally sucked.
1404
01:30:23,210 --> 01:30:25,044
And everyone thought
I was this Petey guy,
1405
01:30:25,128 --> 01:30:28,089
but I didn't know
what to think, so I just
kept playing and playing,
1406
01:30:28,173 --> 01:30:30,091
and I didn't know
what I was doing.
1407
01:30:30,175 --> 01:30:32,384
It was so funny!
1408
01:30:33,345 --> 01:30:35,346
I gotta go.
What? Why?
1409
01:30:37,432 --> 01:30:39,100
Nadia,
1410
01:30:39,643 --> 01:30:41,519
please don't take this
the wrong way,
1411
01:30:41,603 --> 01:30:43,813
but, but you're...
1412
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:47,191
You're everything
that I used to want.
1413
01:30:47,818 --> 01:30:50,152
And as much
as I may really,
1414
01:30:50,821 --> 01:30:53,572
really regret
what I'm about to do,
1415
01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:57,368
there's somebody else
I want to be with.
1416
01:30:58,328 --> 01:31:00,538
You want
the band geek?
1417
01:31:00,956 --> 01:31:04,834
Nadia, I am a band geek.
1418
01:31:06,169 --> 01:31:08,712
I just never
joined the band.
1419
01:31:13,677 --> 01:31:15,177
You go get your geek.
1420
01:31:17,264 --> 01:31:18,931
Someday I will find mine.
1421
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:40,161
Hey, um, Kevin Myers.
1422
01:31:41,580 --> 01:31:43,998
Hi. Sorry I was
a dick before.
1423
01:31:44,082 --> 01:31:46,375
It's okay, man.
My name's Brett.
1424
01:31:46,501 --> 01:31:49,545
Uh, could you
give us a sec?
Sure.
1425
01:31:50,755 --> 01:31:52,882
Look, you don't
have to do this.
1426
01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:55,593
Maybe I was
being selfish
1427
01:31:56,178 --> 01:31:58,929
in wanting to be
your friend.
1428
01:31:59,055 --> 01:32:01,932
Maybe it's just
not gonna work.
Victoria,
1429
01:32:02,267 --> 01:32:05,561
I would much rather have you
as a friend than not have you
in my life at all.
1430
01:32:17,282 --> 01:32:20,784
Yeah!
Party on!
1431
01:32:20,869 --> 01:32:22,995
Yeah! Yeah!
1432
01:32:26,708 --> 01:32:30,586
I don't know. From the
lighthouse all the way...
Hey, handsome.
1433
01:32:33,048 --> 01:32:36,967
Heather! Hey.
Hi.
1434
01:32:37,719 --> 01:32:38,719
What are you doing here?
1435
01:32:38,803 --> 01:32:41,013
I was gonna pick you up
at the airport in, like,
two hours.
1436
01:32:41,097 --> 01:32:43,265
I took an earlier flight,
and I thought
I'd surprise you.
1437
01:32:43,642 --> 01:32:47,645
Yeah, you did.
Kinda weird without
the phone, huh?
1438
01:32:48,271 --> 01:32:49,647
We'll get used to it.
1439
01:32:49,940 --> 01:32:53,108
Come on. I wanna
hear all about it.
We'll grab you a drink.
1440
01:32:54,069 --> 01:32:56,737
Steve, this cop-watch
thing is horseshit.
1441
01:32:57,155 --> 01:32:59,823
Hello?
1442
01:33:00,242 --> 01:33:02,451
Man, this sucks.
1443
01:33:02,535 --> 01:33:04,662
Who is it out there?
1444
01:33:08,166 --> 01:33:10,417
It's the Stifmeister, baby.
1445
01:33:10,710 --> 01:33:12,503
Is that so?
1446
01:33:16,967 --> 01:33:18,968
Life's a bitch,
isn't it?
1447
01:33:21,554 --> 01:33:24,848
It's all right.
You don't have to
say anything.
1448
01:33:25,016 --> 01:33:27,226
I'm used to girls
ignoring me.
1449
01:33:27,519 --> 01:33:29,144
Or making fun of me.
1450
01:33:29,229 --> 01:33:31,480
"Come on, Sherman.
Be the Sherminator."
1451
01:33:33,191 --> 01:33:36,193
Like the movie.
How clever.
1452
01:33:36,569 --> 01:33:38,696
I get it, okay?
1453
01:33:40,115 --> 01:33:41,365
Maybe I am a geek.
1454
01:33:42,117 --> 01:33:43,367
Whatever.
1455
01:33:46,121 --> 01:33:48,831
Yes! Yes, you are!
1456
01:33:51,626 --> 01:33:53,669
All right.
1457
01:33:55,630 --> 01:33:59,049
I am the Sherminator.
Ohh!
1458
01:33:59,551 --> 01:34:02,803
A sophisticated
sex robot sent
back through time
1459
01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:05,306
to change the future
for one lucky lady.
1460
01:34:06,349 --> 01:34:08,225
I am lucky lady?
1461
01:34:08,560 --> 01:34:13,105
That's right, Nadia.
You've been targeted
for Shermination.
1462
01:34:13,565 --> 01:34:15,816
Come with me
if you want to live.
1463
01:34:15,900 --> 01:34:18,527
Oh! Oh, no!
1464
01:34:19,696 --> 01:34:20,779
Help!
1465
01:34:23,241 --> 01:34:26,994
Ohh! Fuck me, geek!
Affirmative!
1466
01:34:27,370 --> 01:34:29,955
No fuckin' way!
1467
01:34:36,546 --> 01:34:39,923
Forget it.
Like you have a chance.
1468
01:34:54,564 --> 01:34:56,607
Cheers, bud.
1469
01:35:02,155 --> 01:35:04,698
Hey, Steve,
look what I found.
1470
01:35:04,783 --> 01:35:07,409
Dude, don't touch the shirt.
Just look.
1471
01:35:10,413 --> 01:35:11,580
Hi.
Hey, there.
1472
01:35:12,123 --> 01:35:14,625
Brilliant.
You found lesbians.
1473
01:35:15,126 --> 01:35:18,670
Good luck trying to break
through that force field.
1474
01:35:18,797 --> 01:35:22,299
Lesbians?
We never said that.
1475
01:35:28,139 --> 01:35:30,474
What?
We never said that.
1476
01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:35,312
Oh.
Oh, man.
1477
01:35:37,023 --> 01:35:41,026
I will do anything,
anything to sleep
with you chicks.
1478
01:35:41,486 --> 01:35:45,280
Okay? I'll grab
every guy's ass
in this room.
1479
01:35:45,657 --> 01:35:49,243
I'll caress it, even.
I'll shave some ass
if they need it.
1480
01:35:49,327 --> 01:35:50,994
Oh, yeah.
You heard me.
1481
01:35:51,329 --> 01:35:56,333
It's true.
I'll kiss everybody here.
Dudes, chicks, everybody.
1482
01:35:56,835 --> 01:36:00,003
Because I am comfortable
with my sexuality.
1483
01:36:00,380 --> 01:36:01,839
Oh, yeah.
1484
01:36:04,175 --> 01:36:06,385
At least have a drink
with the Stifmeister.
1485
01:36:07,512 --> 01:36:09,555
All right.
That's fair.
1486
01:36:11,391 --> 01:36:13,016
All right.
1487
01:36:15,437 --> 01:36:17,229
You truly are
a Stifmeister.
1488
01:36:17,939 --> 01:36:19,356
Welcome back to the party.
1489
01:36:19,441 --> 01:36:21,775
Steve, those are
my lesbians.
Oh, ladies.
1490
01:36:21,860 --> 01:36:24,027
Ladies, I am down
with the funky shit.
1491
01:36:24,154 --> 01:36:27,406
Like what?
One time at this party,
I was drinking champagne...
1492
01:36:30,368 --> 01:36:31,994
Thank you. Thank you.
1493
01:36:32,412 --> 01:36:35,456
Our next soloist
will be Michelle Flaherty.
1494
01:37:04,652 --> 01:37:06,028
Petey?
1495
01:37:10,867 --> 01:37:13,243
This kid is killing me.
1496
01:37:15,413 --> 01:37:18,499
You suck, retard.
I'm not retarded.
1497
01:37:18,583 --> 01:37:20,501
I'm a very special boy.
1498
01:37:36,601 --> 01:37:37,601
Jim!
1499
01:37:37,685 --> 01:37:39,394
How's this
for a band camp story?
1500
01:37:50,782 --> 01:37:53,242
Come on, guys.
Let's hear it for Petey!
1501
01:38:23,565 --> 01:38:25,023
Talented bastard!
1502
01:39:06,858 --> 01:39:09,192
Good for them.
Yeah, it's awesome.
1503
01:39:12,530 --> 01:39:14,906
Want to dance?
Yeah.
1504
01:39:15,199 --> 01:39:17,868
We'll be back.
Come on, baby!
1505
01:40:02,372 --> 01:40:05,374
You know, there's
only one word
for that party:
1506
01:40:05,458 --> 01:40:07,876
Bitchin'.
Out of control.
1507
01:40:09,253 --> 01:40:11,505
Dude, am I gonna
have a hangover?
'Cause I want one.
1508
01:40:21,432 --> 01:40:23,141
Good-bye.
See ya.
1509
01:40:23,267 --> 01:40:26,144
Let's go to our page.
Oh, my gosh. We have to
write about this party.
1510
01:40:26,229 --> 01:40:29,064
This party was crazy!
Look at my date!
He's passed out!
1511
01:40:29,190 --> 01:40:31,316
You drank him
under the table.
He couldn't hang out with us.
1512
01:41:04,350 --> 01:41:05,642
Oh!
1513
01:41:10,690 --> 01:41:13,942
Best summer ever,
huh, fellas?
Absolutely.
1514
01:41:14,318 --> 01:41:18,572
Sorry things didn't
work out for you, Finch.
You kiddin'? Things are great.
1515
01:41:18,656 --> 01:41:20,657
I have all
the time in the world.
1516
01:41:20,742 --> 01:41:22,743
So, are we gonna
do this every summer?
1517
01:41:22,827 --> 01:41:25,245
Oh, yeah, we are.
Of course we are,
gentlemen.
1518
01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:26,705
Well, we're gonna try.
1519
01:41:38,551 --> 01:41:40,135
Sweet car.
It is sweet.
1520
01:41:40,219 --> 01:41:41,219
Where's Finch going?
1521
01:41:46,893 --> 01:41:49,186
Stifler's mom.
Hey, Finchy.
1522
01:41:49,812 --> 01:41:51,688
How did you know
I was here?
1523
01:41:51,856 --> 01:41:53,899
I called a couple
of weeks ago.
1524
01:41:54,025 --> 01:41:56,401
Didn't Steven tell you that
I was gonna drop by sometime?
1525
01:41:56,611 --> 01:41:59,362
I guess it, uh,
slipped his mind.
1526
01:42:01,282 --> 01:42:03,283
Hey, what's your name?
1527
01:42:05,036 --> 01:42:06,244
Jeanine.
1528
01:42:07,538 --> 01:42:11,374
Jeanine.
Okay, uh, well,
1529
01:42:11,876 --> 01:42:14,836
I've been thinking,
and, you know,
I'm 19 years old.
1530
01:42:14,921 --> 01:42:18,590
There's a whole world
out there. I can't be
obsessed with one woman.
1531
01:42:19,550 --> 01:42:20,801
Just can't be.
1532
01:42:21,260 --> 01:42:23,053
I'm glad you're
learning, Finchy.
1533
01:42:24,472 --> 01:42:27,724
Good.
Good.
1534
01:42:29,352 --> 01:42:30,602
You want to get it on?
1535
01:42:31,062 --> 01:42:33,146
You better clear
your schedule.
1536
01:42:37,401 --> 01:42:38,985
See you guys later.
1537
01:42:39,111 --> 01:42:40,779
Where are you goin', man?
What about Dog Years?
1538
01:42:41,572 --> 01:42:44,741
Uh, give me, like,
uh, three days.
1539
01:42:46,911 --> 01:42:49,246
Wait, was that...
Was that who I think...
1540
01:42:49,330 --> 01:42:51,456
No.
Yeah. Yeah!
1541
01:42:51,541 --> 01:42:54,000
I think it was.
I think so, too.
1542
01:42:54,126 --> 01:42:56,795
Son of a...
1543
01:42:58,047 --> 01:42:59,172
Who the hell was that?
1544
01:42:59,423 --> 01:43:02,551
That was, uh...
That was...
Someone was lost.
1545
01:43:02,718 --> 01:43:05,887
Lookin' for the lake.
Yeah, all
turned around.
1546
01:43:06,931 --> 01:43:09,516
What a dumbass.
The lake's right there.
1547
01:43:15,773 --> 01:43:18,900
Incredible.
How does Finch
get so lucky?
1548
01:43:18,985 --> 01:43:21,778
Ah. What are you
worried about?
You got a girlfriend now.
1549
01:43:21,863 --> 01:43:24,865
Everything in.
Let's go. Pony up.
Dog Years awaits.
1550
01:43:24,949 --> 01:43:27,450
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, I do.
1551
01:43:27,869 --> 01:43:29,786
I have
a girlfriend now.
Yeah, you do.
1552
01:43:29,912 --> 01:43:32,205
She's my girlfriend.
All right, Jimbo.
1553
01:43:32,290 --> 01:43:33,707
Let's go! Let's go!
1554
01:43:33,833 --> 01:43:35,667
Hey, where's Shitbreak?
The movies.
1555
01:43:35,751 --> 01:43:37,043
Took the bus.
Coffee.
1556
01:43:37,128 --> 01:43:39,838
Wait a second.
1557
01:43:40,006 --> 01:43:42,090
Who the fuck
was in that car?
1558
01:43:49,891 --> 01:43:52,767
Oh, Finchy,
I missed you.
1559
01:43:52,894 --> 01:43:57,480
Yeah. Oh, God.
Jeanine. Jeanine.
Call me Stifler's mom.
1560
01:44:00,651 --> 01:44:04,029
Oh! Stifler's mom!
1560
01:44:05,305 --> 01:44:11,314
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org
114870
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.