All language subtitles for The Sweetest Thing hjhh

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,461 CHRISTINA WALTERS? 2 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:32,231 GOD, I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT NAME IN AGES. 3 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:35,000 YOU KNOW THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO CAN GET ANY GUY SHE WANTS? 4 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,469 THAT'S CHRISTINA WALTERS. 5 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,538 WE DATED, YOU KNOW, BRIEFLY. 6 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,174 BUT, UH, SHE'S NOT THE COMMITMENT TYPE. 7 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,477 SHE'S A PLAYER. SHE JUST LIKES TO HAVE FUN. 8 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,814 I MET CHRISTINA AT A BAR. HOT PIECE OF ASS. 9 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,483 TOTALLY HIT IT OFF. ALL NIGHT LONG WE DANCE. [ Straining ] 10 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,686 I BUY HER DRINKS. AT THE END OF THE NIGHT, 11 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,522 SHE JUST SPLITS. 12 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:59,625 I LAY DOWN ALL THAT GROUNDWORK FOR NOTHING. 13 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:02,628 SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER. IT'S BEEN LIKE THREE DAYS. [ Dialing ] 14 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,364 I SAW SWINGERS. I KNOW HOW THESE THINGS WORK. [ Line Ringing ] 15 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:08,634 [ Computerized Voice ] HELLO, AND WELCOME TO AOL MOVIEFONE. 16 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:12,438 I STAY UP NIGHTS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY SHE SAID SHE'D CALL AND DIDN'T. 17 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:17,643 MAYBE SHE WANTED TO CALL AND THAT'S WHY SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA CALL, BUT WHEN SHE WAS-- 18 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,311 � CHRISTINA � 19 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,881 � CHRISTINA �� 20 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:26,351 YOU KNOW, PROLONGED IMPOTENCE IS VERY COMMON AFTER A BREAKUP. 21 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,954 LOTS OF MEN SUFFER FROM IT. 22 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,323 THEY JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW. [ Chuckles ] 23 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,892 NOT LIKE ME, GABBING AWAY, GAB, GAB, GAB, GAB. 24 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:37,229 BUT EVEN STILL, BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA CALL, 25 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,298 SHE SHOULD HAVE CALLED TO SAY SHE WASN'T GONNA CALL. 26 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:43,235 THEN I WOULD HAVE THANKED HER FOR CALLING TO SAY SHE WASN'T GONNA CALL. 27 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,471 BUT HEY, YOU KNOW, AT LEAST I DON'T GET THAT DIZZY, 28 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,173 HEAD-SPINNING NAUSEA AS MUCH AS I USED TO. 29 00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:52,077 [ Hysterical Scream, Maniacal Laughter ] 30 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:56,048 YEAH, YOU KNOW, LIKE I SAID, I'M DOING FINE. 31 00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:59,785 I AM FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! 32 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:09,361 [ Woman ] � THIS IS MY � � SEXUAL REVOLUTION � 33 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:13,432 � SEXUAL REVOLUTION � � SEXUAL REVOLUTION � 34 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:18,537 � YEAH � � SEXUAL REVOLUTION � 35 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:22,541 � SEXUAL REVOLUTION � 36 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,511 � EVERYBODY, SHAKE IT � 37 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,379 CHRISTINA! VALERIE! 38 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,315 SHAKE IT IF YOU GOT IT. [ Cell Phone Ringing ] 39 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,452 MISS COURTNEY. 40 00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:36,588 WELL, HELLO, MISS CHRISTINA. HOW YOU DOING? WHAT YOU DOING? 41 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:41,727 - DANCING TOO MUCH. HOW YOU DOING? - SAME THING. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 42 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:46,832 PRETTY GOOD. I GOT A NEW ACCOUNT DESIGNING A CAMPAIGN FOR A SPORTS LINE. 43 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,468 WELL, THEY GOT THE RIGHT GIRL NOW, DIDN'T THEY? 44 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:53,105 AHH, THANK YOU. SO, WHAT'S UP? 45 00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:57,276 OH, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. DEFENDING THE RIGHTS OF MY BROKENHEARTED CLIENTS... 46 00:02:57,278 --> 00:03:02,114 AND TRYING TO SQUEEZE EVERY SINGLE PENNY OUT OF THEIR MISERABLE, CHEATING SPOUSES. 47 00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:04,049 YOU GO GET 'EM, WOMAN. SO, LISTEN. 48 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,985 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA ORDER A PIZZA AND STAY IN TONIGHT. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? 49 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:10,389 OKAY, BUT IF WE DO THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAVE TO HAPPEN, HUH? 50 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:15,127 GIRL, I'VE BEEN SHAKING MY ASS ALL THE WAY UP THIS HILL. 51 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:18,063 WHICH TRACK? TRACK THREE. OH, YEAH! 52 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:21,166 COOCHIE! 53 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:24,236 � A BEAUTIFUL THING � � SEXUAL REVOLUTION � 54 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,873 � A SEXUAL REVOLUTION � � SEXUAL REVOLUTION �� 55 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,645 �� [ "Cherish" ] 56 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,584 [ Moans ] IS YOUR GRANNY HERE? WHAT'S GOING ON? 57 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:42,087 IT'S JANE. SHE LOVES THIS SONG. OH. 58 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:45,023 HOLA, CHICA. WHAT'S UP? 59 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:48,060 HEY, JANE, WHAT'S UP? HEY, GIRL. 60 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,095 � CHERISH IS THE WORD � 61 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,498 HE DUMPS ME. KEVIN DUMPED ME. 62 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:58,370 [ Both Sighing ] IT WAS JUST THREE DAYS BEFORE OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY. 63 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,306 OH, BABY. YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE HE JUST FREAKED OUT. 64 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:05,911 HE IS GONNA CALL UP TOMORROW WHEN HE REALIZES WHAT A HUGE MISTAKE HE MADE. 65 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,747 YOU KNOW, HE'S PROBABLY JUST GOING THROUGH THAT-- NO! 66 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:12,718 HE SAYS HE'S BEEN WANTING THIS FOR SIX MONTHS. HE SAYS HE'S BEEN DYING INSIDE... 67 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,788 �� [ Stops ] EVER SINCE I BROUGHT OVER MY GARMENT BAG. 68 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,824 - OUCH. - HONEY. 69 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:22,461 WHAT? YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL GUILTY OF IT. 70 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,463 YOU MADE YOURSELF TOO AVAILABLE. YEAH. 71 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,665 IT'S A CLASSIC MISTAKE, SWEETHEART. UH-UH. 72 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,668 YEAH. NOT ACCORDING TO THIS. 73 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,703 WHAT IS THIS? LOOK. "COMMANDMENT FOUR." 74 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,840 "TRUE LOVE: THE TEN COMMANDMENTS." MM-HMM. 75 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:39,344 "COMMANDMENT NUMBER FOUR: THOU SHALL BE OPEN TO LOVE'S POSSIBILITIES. 76 00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,813 BOUNDARIES ARE THE ENEMY OF LOVE." SWEETIE. 77 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:46,285 LOOK IT. YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS BOOK... IS RELATIONSHIP PROPAGANDA. 78 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,720 LISTEN TO ME. 79 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:52,190 DATING IS ALL ABOUT BOUNDARIES. 80 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,293 HONEY, YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF. 81 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:58,497 WE'VE ALL HAD OUR HEARTS STOMPED ON ONE TOO MANY TIMES BECAUSE... 82 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,666 WE WENT AND SERVED IT TO THEM ON A BIG OLD PLATTER. 83 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,669 A GOOD DEFENSE IS THE BEST OFFENSE. 84 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,638 [ Scoffs ] I AM SO TIRED OF PLAYING GAMES. 85 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,208 THIS IS NOT ABOUT PLAYING GAMES. THIS IS ABOUT SELF-PRESERVATION. 86 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:14,513 HONEY, YOU CAN'T JUST THROW YOURSELF OUT THERE ALL EXPOSED AND VULNERABLE EVERY TIME. 87 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:18,016 THAT IS HOW YOU GET SMACKED DOWN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 88 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:22,721 DON'T GO LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT. LOOK FOR MR. RIGHT NOW. 89 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,090 AND EVENTUALLY, IF HE'S WORTHY, 90 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:30,128 THEN ONE DAY THAT "NOW" PART IS JUST GOING TO... 91 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,432 DROP AWAY... NATURALLY, YOU KNOW? 92 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:37,035 MEANWHILE, YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE FUN TOGETHER. 93 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,605 YEAH, IT'S NOT SO SERIOUS, YOU KNOW. SHAKE IT OFF A LITTLE BIT. 94 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,909 SPEAKING OF FUN, WE ARE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT. 95 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,610 WHAT? OH, YES. 96 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:48,647 WE ARE TAKING YOU OUT. YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME. 97 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:52,551 OH, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. NO! 98 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:57,589 - [ Together ] OSWALDO! - HELLO, CHRISTINA. COURTNEY. 99 00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,058 JANE. HELLO, JANE. 100 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,562 WELCOME. THANK YOU. 101 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:08,367 - [ All Shouting ] - SHUT UP! 102 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,503 �� [ Hip-hop, Slow ] 103 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,660 [ Laughing ] 104 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,335 OH, YEAH. 105 00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:46,304 [ Laughs ] OH, MY GOD! 106 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,707 [ Spanish ] [ Screams ] 107 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:52,711 HEY, HEY. LOOK AT SHOULDER, BABY. BOUNCE IT, BABY. 108 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,580 CHECK IT OUT, BABY. YEAH! ALL RIGHT. 109 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,983 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BABY? 110 00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,751 OH, HERE WE GO! 111 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,487 THE CIRCLE OF LOVE, CIRCLE OF LOVE! 112 00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,990 MONKEY BUSINESS, BABY. MONKEY BUSINESS. 113 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,995 [ Together, Singsongy ] WE'RE GONNA GO NOW. 114 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,197 BYE-BYE! 115 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:18,303 CHOP, CHOP, CHOP, CHOP, CHOPPING, CHOPPING. 116 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,506 [ Both Screaming ] 117 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,208 [ Laughing ] 118 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:27,179 OH, MY GOD. IT'S LIKE SIEGFRIED AND ROY OR SOMETHING. 119 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:29,981 MARTINIS, LADIES. OH, THANK YOU. 120 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:33,552 COMPLIMENTS OF THE GENTLEMAN AT THE BAR. WHICH ONE? 121 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:39,458 WHOA. THANK YOU, LEATHER COAT GUY. 122 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,626 [ Together ] CHEERS. 123 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:45,630 HMM. LEATHER COAT GUY'S LOOKING KIND OF GOOD, HUH? 124 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,966 YES, HE IS. SHOTGUN! [ Chuckles ] 125 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,634 CHEATER. 126 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,507 WHAT'S UP? 127 00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,011 NOTHING. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 128 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:05,150 NOTHIN'. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 129 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,854 NOTHING. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 130 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,256 NOTHIN'. 131 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:16,294 YOU KNOW, I AM HAVING THE BEST TIME. ARE YOU, SWEETIE? 132 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:20,098 MY BOYFRIEND JUST DUMPED ME, I'M HERE AT THIS CLUB WHERE NO ONE WANTS TO TALK TO ME... 133 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:23,668 AND I WANNA GO HOME. NO! 134 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,538 NO, CHRISTINA, I CAN'T DO THIS. 135 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,940 YES, YOU CAN. IT'S REALLY VERY EASY. 136 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,876 OBSERVE. 137 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,480 OW! I JUST PINCHED HIS ASS. 138 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:38,783 I'M SORRY. HI. HI. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 139 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,620 PETER. WHY-- PETER, THIS IS MY FRIEND JANE. 140 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,955 JANE WOULD LOVE TO DANCE. HEY. 141 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,057 UH, JANE, I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, 142 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,493 BUT I HAVE SOME FRIENDS WHO ARE WAITING FOR ME. � DANCING TOGETHER � 143 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,897 NICE TO MEET YOU, THOUGH. � YOU AND JANE MAGIC'S IN THE AIR �� 144 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,400 OH, HE HATED ME. I SUCK. YOU DO NOT SUCK. THAT GUY WAS A DICK. 145 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:59,471 LOOK, I'M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FUN TONIGHT IF IT'S THE LAST THING-- 146 00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:02,507 I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? 147 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,743 [ Laughs ] [ Mock Chuckle ] YEAH. 148 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:08,046 YOU JUST CALLED ME A DICK. I HEARD YOU. WHY AM I A DICK? 149 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,283 UH, WELL, BECAUSE YOU-- I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU TREATED MY FRIEND. 150 00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:14,119 WELL, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOUR FRIEND. WELL-- 151 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,421 - HI. - YOU BARELY GAVE HER THE TIME OF DAY. 152 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:20,025 UH, NO. YOU TRIED TO PAWN ME OFF ON HER AND I DIDN'T GO FOR IT. THAT MAKES ME A DICK? 153 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:24,563 PAWN YOU OFF? YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY TO EVEN TALK TO SOMEONE AS HOT AND SWEET AS JANE. 154 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,433 - WELL, EXCUSE ME. - HEY, I WASN'T SUGGESTING THAT THE TWO OF YOU GET MARRIED. 155 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,201 I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD GET IT ON. 156 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,671 WHAT? "GET IT ON?" I WAS TRYING TO DO YOU A FAVOR. 157 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,640 YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME. WHAT IF I'M SOME PSYCHO SERIAL KILLER? 158 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:38,877 AND WHAT IF JANE WAS THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS? BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. 159 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,046 [ Chuckles ] THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING. 160 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:44,282 NEVER THOUGHT I'D MEET THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS BY HAVING SOMEBODY GRAB ME IN A BAR AND SAY, 161 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,785 [ Imitating Tarzan ] "HEY, YOU, MAN, I HAVE GOOD WOMAN FOR YOU. 162 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,853 "SHE IS VERY HOT AND SWEET. SHE IS THERE. 163 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,756 JANE, YOU DANCE FOR THE MAN!" WAIT. 164 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,558 MAYBE THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. WAIT. WHAT'S MY PROBLEM? 165 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,995 MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T PLAY IT SO SAFE, MR. SAFETY POO, HEY. 166 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,531 YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY MEET A GIRL THAT YOU COULD HAVE FUN WITH. 167 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:03,868 AND THIS BRILLIANT LOVE ADVICE COMES FROM SOMEONE WHO LOVES TO PLAY GAMES WITH MEN, 168 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:07,606 ALWAYS IN CONTROL, THAT WAY SHE NEVER HAS TO GET TOO CLOSE. 169 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,742 NICE MANNERS, BY THE WAY. 170 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,816 WHERE THE HELL DID THAT GUY-- JANE? JANE? 171 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,918 WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 172 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:25,090 NOTHIN'. WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 173 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,359 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GRABBED HIS ASS. 174 00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:30,528 BUT HE COMES RIGHT INTO MY FACE AND HE STARTS TELLING ME ALL THIS STUPID STUFF... 175 00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:35,600 ABOUT HOW I LIKE TO PLAY GAMES AND ALWAYS BE IN CONTROL SO I NEVER GET TOO CLOSE. 176 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,569 CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM? OH, NO. 177 00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,404 WHAT? IT'S JUST... 178 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,040 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU ACT LIKE THIS BEFORE, THAT'S ALL. 179 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,542 ACT LIKE WHAT? THEY'RE FAKE. 180 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,646 ALL BAH-JIGGITY ABOUT SOME GUY. 181 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,015 - YOU'RE CALLING ME "BAH-JIGGITY?" - YEAH. 182 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:53,018 - I'M REALLY SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO STARE. - THAT'S COOL. 183 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,754 - THAT'S WHY I GOT 'EM. - I'M NOT BAH-JIGGITY. 184 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:58,189 - YOU ARE SO BAH-JIGGITY. - THEY LOOK REAL. 185 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,792 OH, THANK YOU. YOU CAN TOUCH IT IF YOU WANT TO. 186 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,662 - NO, NO, NO, NO. - TOUCH IT. SHE LIKES IT. 187 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,131 IT'S FINE. GO AHEAD. FEELS REAL, HUH? 188 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,633 IF I'M BAH-JIGGITY ABOUT THIS GUY PETER, 189 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,635 IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE TELLING ME I AM. 190 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:13,171 OH, MY GOD. WHAT? 191 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,740 YOU'VE NAMED THE PUPPY. I DID NOT. 192 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,475 YOU JUST CALLED HIM PETER. I DID? 193 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:20,078 SHELLY, YOU'VE GOT TO COME OVER AND FEEL THESE THINGS. 194 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,014 - I'M PSYCHIC AND I JUST KNEW THAT HIS NAME WAS PETER. - [ Shelly ] DO YOU MIND IF I? 195 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,383 KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF. OKAY. 196 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,286 SO SOFT. UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE! 197 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:32,691 - OH, FUCK! - WOW. I AM SO GETTING A PAIR. 198 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:35,827 WHAT DID I TELL YOU? THAT'S WHY CHICKS ALWAYS GO TO THE BATHROOM TOGETHER. 199 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:40,432 CHRIS, IT'S SO OBVIOUS THAT YOU LIKE THIS GUY. WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A PUSSY ABOUT IT? 200 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:43,935 WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT? IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, 201 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,071 THERE'S PLENTY OF GUYS OUT THERE. 202 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:49,674 - MM-HMM. - SEE YA LATER. 203 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,776 [ Both Groaning ] 204 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:55,013 WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 205 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,819 - HI. - HI. 206 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,356 - HEY, PETER. - HUH? 207 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:11,963 ERIC, HEY. [ Eric ] BE RIGHT THERE, CHRISTINA. 208 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,466 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. I MEAN, IT'S-- 209 00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:18,737 I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO. I SPILLED YOUR DRINK. CAN I PLEASE BUY YOU ANOTHER ONE? 210 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,973 OKAY. LISTEN, UH, I WANNA APOLOGIZE NOW. 211 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,576 I... SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IMPOLITE TO YOUR FRIEND. 212 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:29,080 AND IF I WAS, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE. IT'S JUST MY BROTHER IS WAITING FOR ME. 213 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,150 I GOT NERVOUS. I DON'T KNOW. BUT I-- NOT THAT-- 214 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,152 I MEAN, OTHERWISE I'D BE ALL OVER YOUR FRIEND. 215 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:38,256 I-- I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE. I WAS RUDE. 216 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,892 SO, I APOLOGIZE. NO, NO, NO. I UNDERSTAND. 217 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:43,561 NO, YOU WERE PROTECTING YOUR FRIEND. ANYBODY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT. 218 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,564 I THOUGHT THAT WAS SWEET. 219 00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:49,400 [ Peter ] EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. 220 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,504 JESUS. SO ARE WE GOOD NOW? 221 00:12:52,506 --> 00:12:54,272 YEAH. GOOD. 222 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,775 WELL, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO MY FRIENDS. 223 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,643 OKAY. 224 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,779 UM, THANKS FOR THE DRINK. 225 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,580 CHEERS. 226 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:05,550 CHEERS. [ Chuckles ] 227 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,786 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. YOU TOO. 228 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:12,991 �� [ Continues ] 229 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:19,197 EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU TAKE THIS? I JUST TOTALLY STRUCK OUT WITH THIS GUY. 230 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:24,369 ONE MORE THING. SHOULD I BE UPSET MY EX-GIRLFRIEND HAS HER TONGUE DOWN THAT GUY'S THROAT? 231 00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:28,406 OH, MY GOD! JANE! 232 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,643 - I GUESS I BLEW MY CHANCE, HUH? - YEAH, THAT COULD'VE BEEN YOU. 233 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,312 YEAH, IF I WEREN'T SUCH A DICK. 234 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,181 A DICK? WAS I REALLY A DICK? YEAH, YEAH. 235 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,383 REALLY? YOU WERE A DICK. 236 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:43,121 WOW. MAYBE WE SHOULD START OVER AGAIN. WHY DON'T I WALK BY, YOU GRAB ME LIKE YOU DID BEFORE. 237 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,956 I DIDN'T GRAB YOU. YOU TOTALLY GRABBED ME. 238 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,225 I DID NOT. I PINCHED YOU. YOU GRABBED ME ON THE ASS. 239 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,562 YOU GRABBED-- OKAY. I DON'T GRAB. 240 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,964 PETE! PETE! DUDE! 241 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,266 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 242 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,735 DUDE, WHERE YOU BEEN? EVERYBODY'S WAITING. 243 00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:02,040 AFTER-HOURS PARTY BACK AT THE HOTEL. THESE TWO PIGS ARE GOOD TO GO. 244 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:06,010 DID I MENTION THAT WE HAVE THE FREDDIE MERCURY SUITE? 245 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,513 HEY! [ Girl ] SHE PUKED ON HIM! 246 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:12,750 AGAIN! GOD, SHE'S LIKE A HOSE. GO HELP HER, PLEASE. 247 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:17,422 OR NOT. ALL RIGHT, SHE'S OUT. SO, WE'RE ONE SHORT. WHO'S THIS CHICK? 248 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,657 NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. OH, SHE IS HOT. BRING HER. 249 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:22,527 - WHAT? - FUCK ME, DON'T SAY NO. 250 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:26,831 YOU HAVE SO MUCH-- OW! YOU'VE GOTTA SAY YES. LET ME TELL YOU WHY. 251 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:30,501 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND ANYONE BETTER THAN MY BROTHER. HE IS THE GREATEST. 252 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,570 OKAY. OKAY. AND I AM SURE-- THAT HURTS ME. 253 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,874 NOW, JUST-- JUST LOOK AT HIM. CHICKS FREAK ON THIS GUY. 254 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,909 HE IS-- COME ON NOW. HE IS THE SHIT. 255 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:41,679 - AND THAT'S WHY HE'S IN MY WEDDING ON SATURDAY. - ROG. ROG, NO. 256 00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,549 YES. JUST TRYING TO HELP OUT. NO. 257 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,251 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH-- BYE. 258 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,853 WHOA! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. 259 00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:52,690 HEY, LISTEN, LADIES. BIG PARTY, FOUR SEASONS, ROOM 402. YOU'RE INVITED. 260 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,726 LET'S GO, BABY. COME ON. YOU'RE OUT. I'M LEAVING. 261 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,428 I'M LEAVING. ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? THAT'S MY BROTHER. 262 00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:01,766 - OH, HE'S SPECIAL. - CAREFUL. THAT'S PUKE. IT'S PUKE. DON'T TOUCH ME. 263 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,102 WOW. SO, WHEN'S THE WEDDING? 264 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,205 UH, SATURDAY AFTERNOON UP IN SOMERSET. 265 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:10,041 - THAT'S WHERE WE LIVE. - THAT'S NICE. 266 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,710 PETER, IT'S LOOKING LIKE NOW. OKAY, OKAY. 267 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,812 YOU'RE PINCHING MY ARM SKIN. 268 00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:17,482 OKAY, I'D BETTER GO. 269 00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:20,985 FOR REAL THIS TIME. WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. 270 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:24,656 - IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. I HAD A GREAT TIME. - YEAH? ME TOO. 271 00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:28,126 - YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY COME BY THE PARTY IF YOU WANT TO. - REALLY? 272 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,629 - DEFINITELY. IF YOU WANT TO. - OKAY, I'LL ASK MY FRIENDS. MAYBE WE'LL STOP BY. 273 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:35,900 I REALLY HOPE I SEE YOU. BUT IN CASE I DON'T SEE YOU, HAVE A NICE LIFE. 274 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:38,569 YOU TOO. 275 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,673 �� [ Fades ] 276 00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,745 [ Answering Machine Beeps ] 277 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:51,816 HEY, CHRIS, IT'S COURT. SO I'M AT THE PARTY WITH LEATHER COAT GUY. 278 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:55,019 AND I WAS JUST CHECKING IN TO SEE IF YOU WERE LISTENING TO YOUR MESSAGES. 279 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,522 'CAUSE IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO YOUR MESSAGES, 280 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,757 THAT MEANS YOU WERE TOO CHICKENSHIT TO HOOK UP WITH PETER. 281 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,126 WHICH THEREFORE MEANS YOU ARE A LOSER. [ Groans ] 282 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,762 YOU ARE A LOSER. A LOS-- 283 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,565 [ Machine Beeps ] THANKS, COURT. 284 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,335 I'M A BIG LOSER. [ Imitating Drum Machine ] 285 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,204 � WHAT'S UP, YOU BITCHES AND HOS AND LOSERS � 286 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,673 � LOSERS ARE-- �� [ Machine Beeps ] 287 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,681 TOO LATE NOW. 288 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,993 HE WAS KIND OF CUTE. 289 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,565 FUNNY. 290 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,536 REALLY FUNNY. 291 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,009 CUTE BOY. 292 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,782 [ Panting ] 293 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,958 [ Moaning ] 294 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,694 [ Yelps ] 295 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,597 [ Chuckling ] 296 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,999 OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THAT. 297 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:18,636 IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO DO THAT EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES. 298 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:21,539 OF COURSE. GO RIGHT AHEAD. THANK YOU. 299 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,776 DON'T WORRY ABOUT RETURNING THE FAVOR. MEN DON'T REALLY LIKE ORAL SEX. 300 00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:27,578 YEAH, RIGHT. I'M SERIOUS! 301 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,181 IT'S JUST A BAD RUMOR THAT WAS STARTED SOMETIME IN THE '50s. 302 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:33,484 I HAD NO IDEA. I NEED TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS. 303 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:37,822 PLEASE, DO. SOMEONE NEEDS TO PUT AN END TO THIS MADNESS. 304 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:46,697 OH, GOD. I'M SO GLAD I CAME BACK TO THE HOTEL ROOM. [ Chuckles ] 305 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,699 GOD. ME TOO. 306 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,170 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE YOU AGAIN. 307 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,105 [ Knocking ] 308 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,541 ROOM SERVICE. 309 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,509 OH, RIGHT ON TIME. 310 00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:02,613 [ Christina ] ICE CREAM! ONLY THE BEST FOR OUR V.I.P.s. 311 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:05,716 I HAD THEM REMOVE ALL THE CALORIES FOR YOU. 312 00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:09,120 OH, YOU ARE GOOD. 313 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,255 ALL RIGHT! 314 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,892 I KNOW I SAID I WANTED TO DO IT TO YOU EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR, BUT I REALLY CAN'T WAIT. 315 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,261 CAN I DO IT AGAIN NOW? 316 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,764 [ Sighs ] OKAY. 317 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,101 WOW. 318 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,639 [ Chuckles ] 319 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,642 [ Moans ] 320 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,575 [ Line Ringing ] 321 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:10,615 SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA, PLEASE, FOR, UM, FOUR SEASONS HOTEL. THANKS. 322 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,550 THANK YOU. 323 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:15,720 [ Line Ringing ] GREAT DREAM. 324 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:18,189 [ Man Speaking Indistinctly ] YES, HI. 325 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:22,593 UM, DO YOU HAVE A FREDDIE MERCURY SUITE? 326 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:26,297 OH, GOOD. CAN I HAVE IT? THANKS. 327 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,536 REALLY? ALREADY? 328 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,806 OKAY, HAVE A GREAT DAY. THANKS. BYE. 329 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:42,813 WELL, WHAT AM I EVEN CALLING FOR? 330 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,949 [ Ringing ] 331 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,353 HELLO? 332 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:52,156 HEY, COURT. YEAH. 333 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:55,293 �� [ Marching Drums ] 334 00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,666 [ Inaudible Dialogue ] 335 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:11,342 HEY. HEY. STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME, ALL RIGHT? 336 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,545 WELL, WHERE YOU BEEN? SORRY I'M LATE, YOU GUYS. I DON'T EVEN WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. 337 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:17,448 YOU READY? I'M STARVING. OKAY. 338 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,383 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST GONNA MEET YOU GUYS IN THERE. 339 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:23,254 - I HAVE TO DROP SOMETHING OFF AT THE DRY CLEANERS. - CAN IT WAIT? PLEASE? 340 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:27,491 - I'M SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. - ISN'T THAT COURTNEY'S DRESS THAT YOU BORROWED LAST NIGHT? 341 00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:30,628 - YEAH. - WHY ARE YOU BRINGING IT IN? 342 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,231 DID-- DID YOU GET SOMETHING ON IT? YEAH? 343 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,767 NO. I'M JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD GIRLFRIEND-- 344 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,038 I'M REALLY SORRY. 345 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,608 YOU SLUT. GUILTY. IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? 346 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,177 I WILL TAKE IT TO THE DRY CLEANERS AND IT WILL BE GONE. 347 00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:49,580 THAT'S A LOT. HE WAS HOLDIN' A LOT. 348 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:53,150 [ All Talking Indistinctly ] 349 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:57,154 I'M SCARED ENOUGH TO GO IN THERE. WHAT AM I GONNA SAY? 350 00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,291 MR. MARTIN, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY JIZZ? 351 00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,396 YOU KNOW WHAT? 352 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,932 YOU GUYS... SUCK. 353 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,767 NO, OBVIOUSLY, YOU SUCK. YOU. 354 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,803 YOU SUCK. REALLY, WOW. I'M PROUD. 355 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:18,009 [ Men Chuckling ] NO SPANKY WANKY. 356 00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:20,311 NO SPANKY WANKY. [ Groans ] 357 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,595 [ Bell On Door Ringing ] 358 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,970 HI, JANE. HI, MR. MARTIN. 359 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:49,707 - HOW'S YOUR MOTHER? - GREAT. OH, GOD, SHE'S GOOD. EVERYONE'S GOOD. THANK YOU. 360 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,843 - YOUR GRANDMOTHER? - EVERYONE'S GREAT. 361 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:56,013 THAT'S FINE. THAT'S FINE. WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME TODAY? 362 00:21:56,015 --> 00:22:00,384 OH, JUST A DRESS, BUT I'LL BE BACK FOR IT IN A FEW DAYS. SO NO HURRY. 363 00:22:00,386 --> 00:22:03,354 - ANY STAINS? - NO. 364 00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,990 - WHAT'S THIS? - WHAT? 365 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:09,694 - THIS. COME HERE. - A STAIN? 366 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:12,363 THIS IS GONNA BE A TOUGH ONE. 367 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:14,498 [ Speaking Yiddish ] 368 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:19,937 OH, WOW, I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT. I MUST'VE SPILLED SOME SODA ON ME LAST NIGHT. 369 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:24,642 NO, NO, THIS IS NOT SODA. THINK, JANE. THINK! 370 00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:28,679 IF I KNOW WHAT IT IS, IT'S EASIER FOR ME TO REMOVE. 371 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,716 - HUH? - [ Woman ] COME ON. 372 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:34,685 AH, THE FIELD TRIP. COME IN, CHILDREN. COME IN. 373 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,988 COME IN. YES, YES, COME IN. FUCK! 374 00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:41,292 GOOD AFTERNOON, MRS. FRANKLIN. HI, MR. MARTIN. 375 00:22:41,294 --> 00:22:44,528 OKAY, NOW ON TODAY'S FIELD TRIP, 376 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:48,132 WE ARE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT CLEANLINESS. 377 00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:52,169 [ Muttering ] JANE? 378 00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:53,771 HEY. JANE BURNS! 379 00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:56,841 OH, SWEETHEART, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE I TAUGHT YOU... 380 00:22:56,843 --> 00:22:59,744 IN THIRD GRADE! 381 00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:02,713 - [ Moans ] - [ Chuckling ] 382 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:07,618 -TOP OF THE MORNING, MR. MARTIN. -HELLO, FATHER FLYNN. 383 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:10,721 [ Gasps ] AS I LIVE AND BREATHE, ISN'T IT? 384 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:14,125 IT IS LITTLE MARY JANE BURNS! 385 00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:17,962 WHAT A COINCIDENCE. I'M HAVING SUPPER WITH YOUR PARENTS TONIGHT. 386 00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:21,599 WHAT A STAIN YOU GOT THERE, LITTLE JANIE. 387 00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:23,401 SO, HOW WAS IT? WAS IT FUN? 388 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:27,138 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T TELL YOU THIS. 389 00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:30,808 APPARENTLY, ONE OF THE GUYS WHO WAS AT THE PARTY, LIKE, FLIPPED OUT. 390 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:35,112 WAS OUT ON THE BALCONY AND HE WAS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, 391 00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:41,218 "CHRISTINA! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY LITTLE CHRISTINA?" 392 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:44,655 AND THEN HE JUMPS OFF THE BALCONY AND HE DIES BECAUSE YOU'RE A PUSSY. 393 00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:46,690 WHY DIDN'T YOU GO? I DON'T KNOW. 394 00:23:46,692 --> 00:23:50,027 I WAS GOING TO. I WAS. I WAS GOING TO AND THEN I WASN'T. 395 00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:53,798 THEN I DON'T KNOW. I CALLED HIM AT THE HOTEL THIS MORNING. WAIT. HOLD ON. 396 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,902 REWIND FOR ONE SECOND. YOU CALLED HIM AT THE HOTEL? 397 00:23:57,904 --> 00:24:01,138 - WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY? - NOTHING. HE SAID NOTHING. 398 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,140 OKAY? NOTHING. 399 00:24:03,142 --> 00:24:04,909 WHY? HE CHECKED OUT ALREADY. 400 00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:07,244 OKAY, LET'S JUST SUM THIS UP REAL QUICKLY. 401 00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:09,680 IN THE BATHROOM WE HATE HIM, 402 00:24:09,682 --> 00:24:11,682 YET WE CALL HIM BY NAME. 403 00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:13,818 THEN WE THROW BEER ON HIM. 404 00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:17,488 THEN WE LAUGH AND WE FLIRT AND WE DANCED WITH HIM. IT WASN'T BEER. 405 00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:19,924 THEN WE CASUALLY CALL HIM AT THE HOTEL. 406 00:24:19,926 --> 00:24:23,060 THEN WE OBSESS ABOUT THE CASUAL CALL. OBSESS? 407 00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:26,430 I'M NOT OBSESSING. I'M NOT OBSESSING. I'M JUST WONDERING, 408 00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:28,833 COULD ALL THIS ERRATIC BEHAVIOR POSSIBLY BE... 409 00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:31,368 BECAUSE THIS GUY DID GET UNDER YOUR SKIN? NO. 410 00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:33,537 THAT YOU MIGHT REALLY LIKE HIM? NO. 411 00:24:33,539 --> 00:24:36,907 YOU REGRET NOT GOING TO THIS PARTY BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED? 412 00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:39,243 NO, OKAY? I DON'T REGRET IT. 413 00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:43,414 IF I HAD ANY REGRETS, IT WOULD BE THIS CONVERSATION NOW, HAVING IT WITH YOU. 414 00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:46,617 - CAN WE JUST DROP IT? - OKAY, I'M SORRY I BROUGHT IT UP. 415 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:48,752 I WON'T MENTION IT AGAIN. 416 00:24:50,389 --> 00:24:54,825 - YOU KNOW, EVEN IF I DID REGRET NOT GOING TO THE PARTY, - [ Groans ] 417 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:57,661 IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT NOW. 418 00:24:57,663 --> 00:25:02,399 SO, I MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO... LET THESE THINGS GO, RIGHT? 419 00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:05,469 EXACTLY. ALTHOUGH, 420 00:25:05,471 --> 00:25:07,438 IF THERE WAS REGRETS, YOU KNOW, 421 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:13,444 I SUPPOSE THERE'S ALWAYS JUST SOMETHING YOU COULD DO ABOUT IT, RIGHT? 422 00:25:13,446 --> 00:25:23,554 LIKE YOU COULD SHOW UP AT HIS BROTHER'S WEDDING, 'CAUSE IT IS HIS BROTHER. 423 00:25:23,556 --> 00:25:36,667 LIKE YOU COULD SHOW UP AT HIS BROTHER'S WEDDING, 'CAUSE IT IS HIS BROTHER. 424 00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:38,536 COME ON! 425 00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:41,005 HOW MUCH TIME WE GOT? WE'VE GOT LIKE THREE HOURS BEFORE THE REHEARSAL. 426 00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:42,840 HIT THE BALL. 427 00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:44,842 OH, GOOD SHOT. 428 00:25:44,844 --> 00:25:49,513 [ Peter ] FORE! I'M GONNA SHOVE THAT CLUB UP YOUR ASS, YOU DICK LICKER! 429 00:25:49,515 --> 00:25:51,815 WHAT, ARE YOU UP BY LIKE TWO NOW? 430 00:25:51,817 --> 00:25:55,386 I GUESS. WELL, LISTEN. IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS. 431 00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:57,388 TO THE MARRIAGE. TO THE MARRIAGE. 432 00:25:57,390 --> 00:26:00,257 TO-TO-TO THE BRIDE. TO THE BRIDE. 433 00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:03,527 - YEAH. - TO 50 YEARS WITH THE SAME WOMAN. 434 00:26:04,931 --> 00:26:07,031 THAT'S REALLY DEPRESSING. 435 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:09,099 SORRY. 436 00:26:09,101 --> 00:26:11,735 SAGGY TITS. 437 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:15,272 BE ABLE TO USE THEM AS A BELT BY THEN. [ Clears Throat ] 438 00:26:15,274 --> 00:26:19,310 OR JUST TUCK 'EM IN HER SOCKS, YOU KNOW. OKAY. 439 00:26:19,312 --> 00:26:23,280 GOD, THIS MARRIAGE IS-IS SUCH A BIG LEAP, YOU KNOW. 440 00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:26,116 - IT'S REALLY INTENSE, PETE. - BUT IF IT'S THE RIGHT WOMAN-- 441 00:26:26,118 --> 00:26:29,353 YEAH, I GUESS. 442 00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:33,891 GET UP A LITTLE. YES. FORE! 443 00:26:33,893 --> 00:26:37,328 YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! STOP BOTHERING ME! 444 00:26:37,330 --> 00:26:39,563 YOU'RE DRIVING RIGHT INTO 'EM. 445 00:26:39,565 --> 00:26:42,666 HEY, WHAT ABOUT JOHN? I HEAR HE'S STILL AWOL FROM THAT BACHELOR PARTY. 446 00:26:42,668 --> 00:26:45,302 HE SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT. HE'S MISSING AN EYEBROW... 447 00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:47,371 AND HE'S GOT A TATTOO ON HIS ASS THAT SAYS "BITCH." 448 00:26:47,373 --> 00:26:49,740 FORE! I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! 449 00:26:49,742 --> 00:26:54,545 VERY GOOD. OH, HEY, SPEAKING OF BITCHES. 450 00:26:54,547 --> 00:26:58,015 WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH YOU THAT NIGHT AT THE CLUB WITH THAT HOTTIE? 451 00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:00,584 - NOTHIN'. - I MEAN, JESUS! 452 00:27:00,586 --> 00:27:03,420 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT. 453 00:27:03,422 --> 00:27:06,256 I THINK YOU LIKED HER A LITTLE BIT. NO, I DIDN'T. 454 00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:08,325 YEAH, YOU DID. DON'T LIE TO ME. HEY, HEY, HEY. 455 00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:11,428 DON'T LIE-- DON'T LIE TO DARTH, LUKE. 456 00:27:11,430 --> 00:27:14,765 [ Imitating Lightsabers ] 457 00:27:16,702 --> 00:27:19,203 I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES YOU LIKED HER. 458 00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:21,672 [ Imitates Lightsaber Retracting ] 459 00:27:22,908 --> 00:27:25,009 NOTHIN' I CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW. 460 00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:28,779 SHOULD HAVE POKED HER IN THE WHISKERS WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE. 461 00:27:28,781 --> 00:27:31,482 WHAT'S THAT, GRAMPS? 462 00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:33,984 I MET THIS HOT YOUNG DISH... 463 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:37,721 AT THE WORLD'S FAIR BACK IN 1940. 464 00:27:37,723 --> 00:27:42,526 EVERY MOMENT WITH HER WAS LIKE A SLICE OF HEAVEN. [ Whistles ] 465 00:27:42,528 --> 00:27:44,928 I BET YOU REALLY MISS GRANDMA, HUH? 466 00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:48,298 AH, FUCK GRANDMA. 467 00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:50,567 - HUH? - IT'S PEARL I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. 468 00:27:50,569 --> 00:27:53,504 SHE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. 469 00:27:53,506 --> 00:27:56,840 DON'T EVER LET THESE MOMENTS PASS YOU BY. 470 00:28:00,913 --> 00:28:03,681 FUCKIN' GRANDMA! 471 00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:06,316 WOULD YOU BE NICE? 472 00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:10,187 [ Chuckles ] COME ON, SEVEN-SIX. 473 00:28:13,459 --> 00:28:16,460 [ Together ] FORE! [ Balls Hitting Cart ] 474 00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:24,401 [ Man ] � THE LIGHTS ARE OFF AGAIN � 475 00:28:24,403 --> 00:28:28,305 � SHE TOOK ME BY SURPRISE � 476 00:28:28,307 --> 00:28:31,742 � SHE'S SO SENSITIVE � 477 00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:34,845 � IT JUST SHOULD HAPPEN SOMETIMES �� 478 00:28:34,847 --> 00:28:36,780 YOU SUCK! 479 00:28:36,782 --> 00:28:39,783 DAMN IT. BUT YOU SMELL SO MINTY FRESH NOW. 480 00:28:39,785 --> 00:28:43,887 WHAT DO YOU WANT? I NEED TO BORROW YOUR BLACK GUCCI BAG. 481 00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:45,923 GOD-- HERE. 482 00:28:45,925 --> 00:28:48,792 IT'S IN THE LIVING ROOM. OKAY, WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHERE IN THE LIVING ROOM. 483 00:28:48,794 --> 00:28:51,562 AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE LOOKING FOR IT, SO LET'S GO. NO. 484 00:28:51,564 --> 00:28:54,264 WILL YOU HELP ME FIND IT, PLEASE? COME ON, PLEASE? 485 00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:59,703 WELL, SINCE I'M UP NOW AND YOU DECIDED TO TORTURE ME, I'LL GO AND GET IT! 486 00:28:59,705 --> 00:29:01,572 [ Chuckles ] 487 00:29:01,574 --> 00:29:03,974 [ Screams ] OH, I'M SORRY. OH, MY GOD. EXCUSE ME. 488 00:29:03,976 --> 00:29:08,645 UM, COULD YOU GUYS TELL ME WHERE THE BATHROOM IS? IT'S BEHIND YOU. 489 00:29:08,647 --> 00:29:11,115 OVER HERE? OOPS. 490 00:29:11,117 --> 00:29:14,752 UH-- [ Stammering ] 491 00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:17,020 WELL, THANKS. 492 00:29:17,022 --> 00:29:19,790 OH, MY COCK. COCK. 493 00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:23,227 OH, MY COCK. OH, MY COCK. OH, MY COCK. 494 00:29:23,229 --> 00:29:25,195 OH, MY COCK. 495 00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:28,465 [ Laughing ] 496 00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:31,034 [ Moans ] DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY ADVIL? 497 00:29:31,036 --> 00:29:33,504 OH! [ Chuckling ] 498 00:29:33,506 --> 00:29:37,908 JANIE. HE IS SO CUTE. 499 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:41,011 [ Whispering ] SO STUPID. 500 00:29:41,013 --> 00:29:44,548 OH, BABE. CAN I GET THAT PURSE NOW, PLEASE? 501 00:29:44,550 --> 00:29:46,917 YES, YOU CAN GET THE PURSE. OKAY. NO, NOW. 502 00:29:46,919 --> 00:29:49,019 HERE'S THE PURSE. 503 00:29:49,021 --> 00:29:50,921 AH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 504 00:29:55,060 --> 00:29:58,162 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - YOU AND I ARE GOING TO A WEDDING. 505 00:29:58,164 --> 00:30:00,430 WHAT WEDDING? WHO'S GETTING MARRIED? 506 00:30:00,432 --> 00:30:03,200 WE ARE GOING TO PETER'S BROTHER'S WEDDING. 507 00:30:03,202 --> 00:30:04,835 PETER? NOW LISTEN. 508 00:30:04,837 --> 00:30:08,505 THIS SOMERSET PLACE WHERE THEY LIVE IS SOME SMALL TOWN... 509 00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:12,342 ABOUT THREE HOURS NORTH, SO WE HAVE TO GET ON THE ROAD NOW IF WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT. 510 00:30:12,344 --> 00:30:14,645 - P-PETER-- - WHAT? 511 00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:17,948 PETER? I'M NOT GOING TO PETER'S BROTHER'S WEDDING. 512 00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:20,818 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YESTERDAY YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO. 513 00:30:20,820 --> 00:30:23,453 SO I WENT AND, YOU KNOW-- COURTNEY. 514 00:30:23,455 --> 00:30:26,490 - I WAS JOKING. - OH, NO, YOU WEREN'T. 515 00:30:26,492 --> 00:30:28,692 UH, YES, I WAS. 516 00:30:28,694 --> 00:30:33,063 FIFTY PERCENT OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY'RE JOKING IS TRUE. 517 00:30:33,065 --> 00:30:37,234 WHICH MEANS THAT YOU DO WANNA GO TO THIS WEDDING, BUT YOU'RE TOO AFRAID TO ADMIT IT. 518 00:30:37,236 --> 00:30:41,205 SO BY MAKING SOME SORT OF JOKE ABOUT IT, YOU GET TO SAY WHAT YOU REALLY WANT... 519 00:30:41,207 --> 00:30:43,240 WITHOUT BEING VULNERABLE. 520 00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:45,609 RIGHT? MAYBE. 521 00:30:45,611 --> 00:30:49,279 OKAY, GOOD. THE WEDDING STARTS AT 5:00. I REFUSE TO BE LATE. 522 00:30:49,281 --> 00:30:53,851 [ Squealing ] I WANT YOU TO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON NOW. THANK YOU. 523 00:30:53,853 --> 00:30:55,919 THAT WAS A NICE ONE. THANKS. 524 00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:58,922 [ Man ] � THERE SHE GOES AGAIN SLIPPING AND SLIDING � 525 00:30:58,924 --> 00:31:03,093 � DUCKING AND DIVING THERE SHE GOES AGAIN � 526 00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:06,263 � TRYING ALL THIS NEW STUFF TRYING TO BE FLY � 527 00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:09,499 � THERE SHE GOES AGAIN SLIPPING AND SLIDING �� 528 00:31:09,501 --> 00:31:12,369 WATCH THE ROAD, COURTNEY! I GOT IT. I AM WATCHING THE ROAD. 529 00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:15,272 THAT'S IT. ONCE WE GET OFF THE 140, 530 00:31:15,274 --> 00:31:19,343 - UH-HUH. - WE'LL TAKE THE 95, GET OFF ON THE SOMERSET EXIT. 531 00:31:19,345 --> 00:31:24,114 ALL RIGHT. THEN WE'LL JUST DRIVE AROUND AND WE CAN FIND THE CHURCH NO PROBLEM. TA-DA! 532 00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:26,049 [ Sniffing ] 533 00:31:27,887 --> 00:31:30,387 EW! WHAT IS THAT? 534 00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:32,756 - WHAT IS WHAT? - YOU DON'T SMELL THAT? 535 00:31:32,758 --> 00:31:35,492 - SMELL WHAT? I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING. - OH, JESUS! 536 00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:38,896 - YOU'RE USED TO IT. THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY SCARY. - I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING. 537 00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:42,199 IT SMELLS LIKE MOLDY ASS IS WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE IN HERE. 538 00:31:42,201 --> 00:31:45,836 WAIT A MINUTE. COME TO THINK OF IT, I DID LEAVE SOME ASS IN THE BACK. 539 00:31:45,838 --> 00:31:50,774 - YOU DID. - ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I DID. IT MUST BE THE ASS. NO, NO. 540 00:31:50,776 --> 00:31:52,876 SIT DOWN, PLEASE. JESUS! [ Screams ] 541 00:31:52,878 --> 00:31:55,913 - I'M SORRY. [ Chuckling ] - YOU'RE GONNA KILL-- 542 00:31:55,915 --> 00:31:58,482 OW! 543 00:31:58,484 --> 00:32:00,751 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - JESUS, COURTNEY. 544 00:32:00,753 --> 00:32:03,353 - WHAT IS ALL THIS-- - NO, NO, NO, STOP. COME ON, PLEASE. LOOK, LOOK. 545 00:32:03,355 --> 00:32:06,723 JUST-- JUST DON'T BE THROWING OUT ANYTHING I MIGHT NEED, OKAY? 546 00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:10,861 WHERE IS IT COMING FROM, COURTNEY? WHERE? I CAN STILL SMELL IT. 547 00:32:10,863 --> 00:32:13,563 MAYBE IT'S YOU. 548 00:32:13,565 --> 00:32:16,433 DID SOMETHING CRAWL UP YOUR POONANI? HEY. 549 00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:21,138 LISTEN, I HAVE NEVER EVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS IN THE POONANI ODOR DEPARTMENT. 550 00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:23,473 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? NEITHER HAVE I, OKAY? 551 00:32:23,475 --> 00:32:26,510 HIGH FIVE ON THE CLEAN POONANI. BITCH. 552 00:32:26,512 --> 00:32:29,513 - OH. EW. - WHAT? 553 00:32:29,515 --> 00:32:32,549 - EW, EW, EW. WHAT IS THIS? - WHAT IS WHAT? 554 00:32:32,551 --> 00:32:37,254 - WHAT IS THIS? - OH! JESUS! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN IN HERE. 555 00:32:37,256 --> 00:32:40,023 WHAT IS IN HERE? [ Screaming ] 556 00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:45,262 NO! 557 00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:48,432 THAT IS NOT OKAY! IT ISN'T OKAY! 558 00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:53,437 YOU ARE A DISGUSTING, NASTY PIG. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? THERE WAS MAGGOTS ON THAT-- 559 00:32:53,439 --> 00:32:55,572 [ Both Screaming ] 560 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:04,047 EXCUSE ME. I'VE GOT MAGGOT JUICE ALL OVER ME. THERE IT IS. 561 00:33:04,049 --> 00:33:06,483 OH, PLEASE. 562 00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:09,753 LADIES ROOM. [ Knob Not Turning ] 563 00:33:09,755 --> 00:33:12,222 [ Woman ] SOMEONE'S IN HERE. SORRY. 564 00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:14,825 [ Groaning ] IT MIGHT BE A WHILE. HOW LONG? 565 00:33:14,827 --> 00:33:20,263 LET ME PUT IT TO YOU THIS WAY. I HAD LAMB CURRY LAST NIGHT, AND I'M SHITTIN' OUT A BUICK. 566 00:33:20,265 --> 00:33:22,232 [ Grunting ] EW. 567 00:33:22,234 --> 00:33:24,835 WAS IT ABSOLUTELY VITAL FOR HER TO TELL US THAT? 568 00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:29,740 [ Both ] HELLO? 569 00:33:29,742 --> 00:33:32,309 [ Christina ] HELLO? HELLO? 570 00:33:32,311 --> 00:33:34,878 IS IT ALL CLEAR? 571 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,581 OH, GOD! THIS IS DISGUSTING. 572 00:33:37,583 --> 00:33:40,450 I FEEL LIKE I HAVE MAGGOTS ALL OVER ME. 573 00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:45,455 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. [ Screaming ] 574 00:33:45,457 --> 00:33:48,091 OH, STOP IT! [ Laughs ] 575 00:33:48,093 --> 00:33:50,627 I'M GONNA PEE IN MY PANTS. 576 00:33:50,629 --> 00:33:52,496 ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUST USE THE URINAL. 577 00:33:52,498 --> 00:33:55,732 YOU WANNA HEAR SOME POETRY? 578 00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:59,870 "THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM BANDOO WHO FELL ASLEEP IN A CANOE. 579 00:33:59,872 --> 00:34:02,506 "HE DREAMED OF VENUS AND PLAYED WITH HIS PENIS... 580 00:34:02,508 --> 00:34:06,243 AND WOKE UP WITH A HANDFUL OF... GOO." [ Chuckles ] 581 00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:08,845 WAIT! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. DUDE, I GOTTA AIM. 582 00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:11,448 OH, GOD DARN IT. I THINK I PEED ON MYSELF. 583 00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:15,185 HMM. "FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD?" 584 00:34:15,187 --> 00:34:16,653 GOD! 585 00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:19,523 I'M FOLLOWING THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. 586 00:34:19,525 --> 00:34:21,525 FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. 587 00:34:21,527 --> 00:34:23,894 � LA, LA, LA, LA �� [ Gasps ] OH! 588 00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:27,697 BUFFY! YOU LOOK LIKE MY OLD DOGGY BUFFY. 589 00:34:27,699 --> 00:34:32,702 - HELLO, GIRL. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN-- - OH, MY GOD! IT'S ON MY HANDS! 590 00:34:32,704 --> 00:34:36,573 THERE'S A GOOD GIRL. WHAT YOU GOT, LITTLE GIRL? COME ON. 591 00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:38,842 WHAT YOU GOT? WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH? 592 00:34:38,844 --> 00:34:42,145 - DAMN IT! - WHAT YOU GOT IN THERE? 593 00:34:42,147 --> 00:34:44,081 - WHAT'S IN THERE? WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH? - CRAP! 594 00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:47,150 - WHAT'S IN THERE? - [ Man ] SURPRISE! 595 00:34:47,152 --> 00:34:50,187 [ Screams ] 596 00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:55,725 OH, CHRISTINA! 597 00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:58,495 [ Shouting Indistinctly ] 598 00:34:58,497 --> 00:35:03,767 GODDAMN IT. HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A GLORY HOLE IS? 599 00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:06,203 WELL, UNLIKE MY WHORE FRIEND COURTNEY ROCKLIFFE, 600 00:35:06,205 --> 00:35:10,107 I DON'T USUALLY SPEND MUCH TIME IN MEN'S PUBLIC BATHROOMS, OKAY? 601 00:35:10,109 --> 00:35:15,011 GODDAMN, THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 602 00:35:15,013 --> 00:35:17,914 I MEAN, I FLEW ACROSS THAT ROOM. 603 00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:20,250 AND YOU GOT FUCKED IN THE EYE. 604 00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:24,387 I'M GLAD YOU FIND IT SO FUCKING AMUSING, OKAY? I REALLY DO. 605 00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:26,890 COULD YOU PLEASE HAVE SOME COMPASSION? I DO. I DO. 606 00:35:26,892 --> 00:35:30,360 BECAUSE I COULD GO BLIND, OKAY? NO, YOU COULD NOT. 607 00:35:30,362 --> 00:35:33,997 YES, I COULD. OW. ALL RIGHT, LET ME LOOK AT IT, OKAY? 608 00:35:33,999 --> 00:35:36,900 I MEAN, A PENIS IN MY EYE. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 609 00:35:36,902 --> 00:35:39,536 LET ME SEE. LET ME SEE. SHH. 610 00:35:39,538 --> 00:35:42,105 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 611 00:35:42,107 --> 00:35:46,309 HOW IS IT? IS IT OKAY? YEAH, IT'S OKAY. 612 00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:48,678 BUT I THINK YOU'RE PREGNANT. 613 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,781 WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP IT ALREADY? ALL RIGHT. 614 00:35:53,785 --> 00:35:56,953 [ Jane ] NOW I WANT YOU TO REDRESS THE MANNEQUINS AND CHECK THE SOCK INVENTORY. 615 00:35:56,955 --> 00:36:00,023 COME ON, JANE. IT'S SATURDAY AND NOBODY'S HERE. AND MR. MOONEY-- 616 00:36:00,025 --> 00:36:04,794 MR. MOONEY IS OFF SAILING WITH HIS BOY TOY WHICH LEAVES ME IN CHARGE OF THE STORE, SO SHOO. 617 00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:07,264 SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GET SOME. 618 00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:10,033 [ Door Opens, Closes ] 619 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:17,507 � LA, LA-LA, LA-LA LA-LA �� 620 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:19,709 OOH, THERE'S MY DIRTY GIRL. 621 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:23,079 AAH! NO! NO! NO! 622 00:36:23,081 --> 00:36:25,248 IT'S ME, BABY! IT'S ME! IT'S ME! 623 00:36:26,585 --> 00:36:28,385 WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT? 624 00:36:28,387 --> 00:36:31,254 IT'S MY JOB. I WORK AT A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL. 625 00:36:31,256 --> 00:36:33,190 OH, HI. HI. 626 00:36:35,861 --> 00:36:38,094 YOU LOOK SO CUTE. 627 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:42,832 I'M HORNY. ME TOO. 628 00:36:48,140 --> 00:36:51,341 -YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH AT THIS ONE. -WHAT? 629 00:36:51,343 --> 00:36:53,777 YOU KNOW HOW I SAID I HAD TO DO, UH, LAUNDRY TODAY? 630 00:36:53,779 --> 00:36:57,514 IT'S 'CAUSE I RAN OUT OF CLEAN UNDERWEAR, HONEY. I'VE ONLY GOT THE SKANKY ONES LEFT. 631 00:36:57,516 --> 00:37:00,517 TELL ME ABOUT IT, DUDE. �� [ Radio: "Escape: Pina Colada Song" ] 632 00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:03,720 OH, MY GOD. YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVABLE. 633 00:37:06,959 --> 00:37:09,759 NO WAY. IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? 634 00:37:09,761 --> 00:37:13,029 SPRING BREAK, 1994, BABY. 635 00:37:13,031 --> 00:37:14,898 TURN IT UP. OH, MY GOD. 636 00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:18,501 �� [ Volume Increases ] � LIKE A WORN-OUT RECORDING � 637 00:37:18,503 --> 00:37:21,771 � OF A FAVORITE SONG � 638 00:37:21,773 --> 00:37:25,041 � SO WHILE SHE LAY THERE SLEEPING � 639 00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:29,012 � I READ THE PAPER IN BED � 640 00:37:29,014 --> 00:37:32,215 � AND IN THE PERSONAL COLUMNS � 641 00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:35,018 � THERE WAS THIS LETTER I READ � 642 00:37:35,020 --> 00:37:38,288 � IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS � 643 00:37:38,290 --> 00:37:41,358 � AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN � 644 00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:45,996 � IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA � 645 00:37:45,998 --> 00:37:48,798 � IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAIN �� 646 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,967 - OH, MY GOD. BRAIN. - JANE! 647 00:37:50,969 --> 00:37:53,937 YOU AND I ARE SO AWESOME TOGETHER. 648 00:37:53,939 --> 00:37:56,006 WE'RE LIKE TWO PEAS IN A POD. 649 00:37:56,008 --> 00:37:58,308 WE'RE LIKE OIL AND VINEGAR. SHUT UP. 73933

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