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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:04,667 - WITH INTEREST RATES BEING WHAT THEY ARE, 2 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,400 WE THINK THIS IS EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME TO STRIKE 3 00:00:06,433 --> 00:00:08,600 WITH A CASINO COMPLEX OF THIS MAGNITUDE. 4 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,033 OR AS THEY SAY IN MACAU... 5 00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:14,100 SO... 6 00:00:15,233 --> 00:00:16,400 - EMMA IS OUR BEST AND BRIGHTEST. 7 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,767 - OH. 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,166 - SO REST ASSURED, YOU ARE IN THE MOST CAPABLE OF HANDS. 9 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,367 - NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M SO SORRY. 10 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:23,567 I JUST HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH. 11 00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:25,300 PLEASE CONTACT MY CELL. 12 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:26,467 MY ASSISTANT HAS IT. 13 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,400 AND, AGAIN, BEEN AN HONOR WORK WITH YOU. 14 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:29,400 - OH, WAIT. - YES. 15 00:00:29,433 --> 00:00:30,400 - ONE MORE THING. 16 00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,467 MR. ZHANG PRESENTS CHINESE SCROLL. 17 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,467 - OH, I REALLY COULDN'T. 18 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,567 - PLEASE. - IT'S TOO MUCH. 19 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:35,700 OH, NO, IT'S REALLY-- - I INSIST. 20 00:00:35,734 --> 00:00:37,100 - OH, PLEASE, IT'S-- - YOU MUST. 21 00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:38,600 - OKAY, THANK YOU. 22 00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:41,133 THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND TAKE CARE. 23 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,533 - OH, HE ALSO HAS ANOTHER SCROLL FOR YOU. 24 00:00:43,567 --> 00:00:45,100 - OH, WOW, ANOTHER SCROLL. 25 00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:46,734 - CHINESE SCROLL. - OH, THANK YOU. 26 00:00:46,767 --> 00:00:48,200 THIS IS JUST-- I'LL TREASURE IT. 27 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,000 PLEASE THANK MR. ZHANG FOR ME. 28 00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:51,133 OKAY. - WAIT. 29 00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:52,133 - YO. 30 00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:53,266 - THERE'S ONE MORE SCROLL. 31 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:54,400 - IS THERE? OKAY. 32 00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,367 - CHINESE SCROLL. - OH, WOW! 33 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,266 THIS IS LIKE THE CLIFFSNOTES EDITION, RIGHT? 34 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,033 ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 35 00:01:01,066 --> 00:01:05,200 LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU ALL AGAIN. 36 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,200 HELLO? - WHERE ARE YOU? 37 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,266 DO NOT LIE TO ME. 38 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,266 - I'M ON THE PLANE. 39 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:10,066 YES, I WOULD LIKE SOME MORE NUTS. 40 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,066 THANK YOU. 41 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,200 - YOU'RE STILL AT THE OFFICE. 42 00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:13,266 - I'M LEAVING RIGHT NOW. 43 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:14,600 I JUST GOT STUCK IN THE PRESENTATION 44 00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:15,734 OF THE WORLD'S TINIEST SCROLL. 45 00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:17,033 JUST DO SOMETHING WITH THOSE. 46 00:01:17,066 --> 00:01:18,266 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM. 47 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:20,000 - I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU ARE NOT ON THIS FLIGHT-- 48 00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:21,300 - WHAT AM I, A MONSTER? 49 00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:22,633 I'M GONNA MISS MY BEST FRIEND'S BABY SHOWER? 50 00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:24,500 COME ON NOW. 51 00:01:24,533 --> 00:01:26,667 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DRILLING? 00 A.M. IN CONNECTICUT. 52 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,767 - I'M JUST MAKING SOME MINOR CRIB MODIFICATIONS. 53 00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,633 - HEY, BOB VILA, YOU'RE EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT. 54 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,200 SO WHY DON'T YOU LET YOUR HUSBAND DO THAT? 55 00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,233 - HE'S SNOOZING, AND ALSO, I JUST WANT THIS BABY GIRL 56 00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:36,233 TO KNOW THAT HER MAMA'S NOT AFRAID TO PICK UP A DRILL 57 00:01:36,233 --> 00:01:37,633 AND GET DOWN. 58 00:01:37,633 --> 00:01:39,066 - I WILL SEE YOU IN 18 HOURS, 59 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,367 YOU AND THAT BABY YOU'RE COOKING. 60 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,300 - I'M GONNA HUG YOU SO HARD, IT'S GONNA HURT. 61 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:43,633 - I'M GONNA SQUEEZE YOU SO HARD, 62 00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:45,100 THAT BABY'S GONNA COME OUT OF YOU. 63 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,266 OH! 64 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:48,266 - HOW YOU FORGET YOUR SCROLLS? 65 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,500 - OH, MY GOSH. 66 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,367 WHERE DID--I THOUGHT THEY WERE IN MY CARRY-ON. 67 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,233 - EMMA, GET OUT OF THERE! 68 00:01:53,266 --> 00:01:54,367 - PRESENTATION OF CHINESE SCROLLS. 69 00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:55,500 - CHINESE SCROLL. I GET IT, OKAY. 70 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,667 - GET OUT OF THERE! - PRESENTATION, YES... 71 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,100 - GET OUT OF CHINA! OKAY. - OF THE CHINESE-- 72 00:01:58,133 --> 00:02:00,266 - BACK AWAY FROM THE ELEVATOR, SIR! 73 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,266 - I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE IN MY CAR RIGHT NOW. 74 00:02:23,266 --> 00:02:25,567 - I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A STUNNING PREGNANT WOMAN YOU ARE. 75 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,133 - OH, PLEASE, I'M HUGE. 76 00:02:27,133 --> 00:02:28,700 - NO, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT'S HUGE, 77 00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:30,533 AND THAT IS THESE MAMMER-JAMMERS. 78 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,734 THEY GO ALL NIGHT. 79 00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:33,734 THEY'RE LIKE THE BOOBS OF OUR DREAMS! 80 00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:35,133 MAY I FEEL THEM? - YEAH, GET IN THERE. 81 00:02:35,133 --> 00:02:36,567 - OH, G--HMM. 82 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,533 YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING? - WHAT'S THAT? 83 00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,200 - IS I THOUGHT THEY'D BE SOFT. - UH-HUH. 84 00:02:40,233 --> 00:02:41,767 - BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY QUITE FIRM TO THE TOUCH. 85 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,066 - WELL, THEY'RE FILLING WITH MILK. 86 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,567 - THEY'VE GOT A REAL HEFT TO THEM. 87 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,166 LIKE A WATER BED ALMOST. HEY, HEY, HEY. 88 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,266 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - WHAT? 89 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,433 - PLEASE DON'T GO DOWN MAIN STREET. 90 00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:49,767 - I JUST WANT YOU TO SEE WHAT'S CHANGED. 91 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,333 - NO, NOTHING'S CHANGED. EVERYTHING'S ALWAYS THE SAME. 92 00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:53,700 - THEY PLANTED PLUM TREES. - OH, GOD. 93 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,433 - OH, AND A NICE PAKISTANI FAMILY TOOK OVER WILSON DRUGS. 94 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,367 - WHY IS EVERYONE WAVING AT US? 95 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,700 HEY. - WHAT'S THAT? 96 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,400 - I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT I'M NOT INTERESTED IN. 97 00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:03,767 - AND THAT'S ONE MR. KENNY LOGGINS. 98 00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:06,467 - I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE. 99 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,400 - I DIDN'T EVEN TELL MY MOM I WAS COMING HOME. 100 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,233 - THIS PLACE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I CAN'T BREATHE. 101 00:03:12,266 --> 00:03:13,500 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I JUST CAN'T BREATHE. 102 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,433 I LOVE THAT PART. - YOU KNOW WHAT? 103 00:03:17,433 --> 00:03:19,400 I GOT OUT OF HERE, AND I EXPLORED THE WORLD, 104 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,066 AND I GOTTA TELL YOU, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE 105 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,734 THAN JUST AMBLING DOWN MAIN STREET 106 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,233 SUCKING ON YOUR SOFT-SERVE. 107 00:03:24,266 --> 00:03:26,400 - OH, THE SCREAMING CONE GOT NEW MIX-INS. 108 00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:28,066 - OH, UGH! - FRESH PEACHES. 109 00:03:28,066 --> 00:03:29,600 IT'S GOOD NEWS. - I JUST NEVER FIT IN HERE. 110 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,133 YOU FIT IN HERE. 111 00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:09,400 - EMMA! STOP. - WHAT? WHAT? 112 00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:11,633 OH, MY GOD. MARK. 113 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,166 - HELLO, EMMA. 114 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,567 - HEY. 115 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,633 - YOU GUYS JUST FEELING EACH OTHER UP HERE AT THE STOP SIGN? 116 00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:20,367 - OH, NO, WE--I WAS JUST USING MAGGIE'S BOOB AS A MICROPHONE. 117 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,100 - SURE, LIKE YOU DO. 118 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,100 OH, MAGS, TINA'S NOT FEELING WELL, 119 00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,533 SO SHE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO THE SHOWER. 120 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,500 - OKAY, I'LL SAVE HER A CUPCAKE. - THANKS. 121 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:29,400 - WHO'S TINA? - MY WIFE. 122 00:04:29,433 --> 00:04:30,500 - OH, YOU'RE MARRIED? - YEAH. 123 00:04:30,533 --> 00:04:32,100 - OH, GOD. OKAY. 124 00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:33,667 THIS ONE DIDN'T TELL ME. 125 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:38,367 SO I JUST--GOD, THAT'S-- CONGRATS AND MAZELS TO YOU GUYS. 126 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,367 IT'S NOT TINA STEIGERMAN FROM THE DRILL TEAM, IS IT? 127 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,467 WHO WAS JUST LIKE, "OH, I BROKE MY ARM AGAIN 128 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,633 'CAUSE I GOT THE BONES OF A BIRD," SNAP! 129 00:04:44,633 --> 00:04:46,367 REMEMBER? WE CALLED HER "BIRD BONES." 130 00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:49,066 IT'S SO-- 131 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,266 OH, GOD, IT IS. IT'S THAT SAME TINA. 132 00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:53,200 ALL RIGHT, WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. 133 00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:54,500 SHE WAS SO NICE. 134 00:04:54,533 --> 00:04:56,033 - OKAY, WELL-- - SHE IS NICE. 135 00:04:56,066 --> 00:04:57,133 I'M ASSUMING SHE'S STILL... 136 00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:58,133 - YEAH. - WITH US. 137 00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,133 - SHE'S WITH US. 138 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:02,433 WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, EM. 139 00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:03,633 - YES, AND A GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR. 140 00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:05,000 - TAKE CARE. 141 00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:08,033 SO--I DON'T KNOW WHY. 142 00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:12,000 - I'M GONNA GO. - OKAY. 143 00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:13,200 - WELL, I THINK THAT WENT GREAT. 144 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:14,200 - REALLY? 145 00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:15,400 I JUST TIPPED AN INVISIBLE CAP 146 00:05:15,433 --> 00:05:17,567 TO THE MAN I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO. 147 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,333 SO WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE ME ON HOME? 148 00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:22,367 - YES, MA'AM. 149 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,400 - MAGS, THE HOUSE LOOKS JUST THE SAME. 150 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,400 IS THAT THE PORCH SWING YOUR DAD BUILT? 151 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,767 - YEAH, WE BROUGHT IT AROUND TO THE FRONT. 152 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,100 - OH, I LOVE IT. 153 00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:33,667 - HEY, SHANGHAI. - BRUCE! 154 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,166 - GET OVER HERE. - OH, MAN. 155 00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:37,000 OH, I WANT ONE OF YOUR BEAR HUGS. 156 00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:38,500 - WAIT A SECOND. WAIT A SECOND. - WHAT? 157 00:05:38,533 --> 00:05:40,166 - ARE THEY NOT FEEDING YOU IN CHINA, YOU SKINNY MARINK? 158 00:05:40,166 --> 00:05:41,433 - OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? 159 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,333 THEY ARE WORKING ME, LITERALLY, TO THE BONE. 160 00:05:43,367 --> 00:05:45,667 - IT'S THE DIFFERENT SAUCES. THEY GOT DIFFERENT SAUCES THERE, 161 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,166 AND IT WREAKS HAVOC ON THE PLUMBING. 162 00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:48,600 - OH, BABE, CAN WE NOT-- - NO, IT REALLY DOESN'T. 163 00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:50,000 AND BE HONEST WITH ME. - YEAH. 164 00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:51,700 - DID THOSE SAUCES TAKE YOUR BUTT BY STORM? 165 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,300 - BABE. - NO, CAN I JUST SAY? 166 00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,033 THEY ACTUALLY DID TAKE MY BUTT BY STORM. 167 00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:56,433 - I KNEW IT. - IT'S REAL. 168 00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:58,100 I DIDN'T HAVE THE WORDS, I DIDN'T HAVE THAT PHRASE, BUT... 169 00:05:58,133 --> 00:05:59,500 - I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. - THAT'S WHAT WAS HAPPENING. 170 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:00,667 - THEY HAVEN'T DEFINED WHETHER OR NOT 171 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,300 THESE ARE SWEET SAUCES OR SOUR SAUCES, OKAY? 172 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:04,000 - RIGHT, AND YOU'RE MIXING 'EM. - YOU'RE MIXING 'EM UP. 173 00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:05,266 - AND IT BECOMES LIKE A... - ALL OF A SUDDEN-- 174 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,433 - MR. WIZARD SITUATION. - YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 175 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,166 - SORRY TO, LIKE, INTERRUPT THIS REVERIE... 176 00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:09,300 - YEAH, YEAH. 177 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,600 - BUT DID YOU FINISH THE CRIB LIKE I ASKED? 178 00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,734 - DAMN IT! I FORGOT TO DO IT. 179 00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:14,300 - YEAH, ALL RIGHT. - YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT? 180 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,734 I'M GONNA GO DOWN IN MY MAN CAVE, 181 00:06:15,734 --> 00:06:17,734 I'M GONNA FINISH IT UP RIGHT NOW, AND YOU SHOULD GO INSIDE 182 00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:19,734 AND SEE WHAT YOUR WEIRD BROTHER DID TO THE PLACE. 183 00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:20,767 - ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. - OKAY, WELCOME HOME! 184 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,066 - IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 185 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,200 - OKAY, THANK YOU. - I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 186 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,200 COME ON. - THANK YOU. 187 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,333 - ALL RIGHT. 188 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,500 - TO THE LEFT, MY LADY. 189 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,200 - OH, MY GOD. 190 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,734 WHAT IS THIS WOODLAND WONDERLAND? 191 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,066 - DO YOU LIKE IT? 192 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:36,467 - DO I-- IS THIS A HEDGEHOG CUPCAKE? 193 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,567 I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW. 194 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,533 - IT WAS ALL ZACH. - THANK YOU. 195 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,567 I TAKE WALKS IN THE FOREST WHEN I NEED TO THINK, 196 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,266 AND THAT'S WHERE I GOT MY INSPIRATION. 197 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,600 - IF YOU HADN'T SEXUALLY HARASSED ME 198 00:06:45,633 --> 00:06:47,033 ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL... 199 00:06:47,066 --> 00:06:48,467 I WOULD ASSUME YOU WERE A STONE-COLD GAY MAN. 200 00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:50,233 - I'M GONNA TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT. 201 00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:51,233 - HOLD ON. - WHAT IS WRONG? 202 00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:52,300 - NOTHING. IT'S JUST WORK. 203 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:53,567 I GOT TO-- - UH-HUH. 204 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,567 - I HAVE A BIG PRESENTATION THAT JUST GOT MOVED UP, 205 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,066 SO I GOT TO DO IT TONIGHT, BUT-- 206 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,767 - NO, THIS IS THE ONLY WEEKEND YOU'VE ASKED OFF FOR 207 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,166 IN THREE YEARS. 208 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,567 - I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA NOTICE. 209 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,200 - I'M NOTICING RIGHT NOW. - NO, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? 210 00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:04,500 I'M GONNA DO IT AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE SNUGGLED UP 211 00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:06,000 LIKE A BUG IN A RUG GROWING THIS HUMAN. 212 00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:07,266 ALL RIGHT? - OKAY. 213 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,000 - WILL YOU MAKE ME A FLUFFERNUTTER, PLEASE? 214 00:07:09,033 --> 00:07:10,100 - YES. - THANK YOU. 215 00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:12,633 - HEY. - IT'S GOOD FROM BEHIND TOO. 216 00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:15,233 HEY, PAN'S LABYRINTH, GET DOWN OFF THAT STEP STOOL. 217 00:07:15,266 --> 00:07:17,266 I GOT TO TALK TO YOU. - SURE. 218 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:19,000 I JUST NEED TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION. 219 00:07:19,033 --> 00:07:20,000 - WHAT? 220 00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:21,734 - DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING? - NO. 221 00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:24,266 - I GAINED 15 POUNDS SINCE LAST WE MET. 222 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,600 - WELL, IT DOESN'T SHOW. 223 00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:27,133 - WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S ALL IN MY THIGHS. 224 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:30,100 - THAT'S WHERE A WOMAN GAINS WEIGHT, JUST FYI. 225 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:32,633 - WELL, JUST FYI, THAT'S WHERE I GAIN WEIGHT TOO. 226 00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:34,533 - COULD YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE VIDEO? 227 00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:37,000 - YEAH. I JUST GOTTA KEN BURNS IT. 228 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,033 - KEN BUR--WHAT? THE SHOWER'S IN TWO HOURS. 229 00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:40,200 - HEY, THEY HAVE APPLE TV. 230 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:42,400 ALL I DO IS CONNECT MY LAPTOP TO THEIR WI-FI, 231 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,233 ALTHOUGH I WOULD FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE 232 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:47,066 IF WE HAD A CODE WORD FOR WHEN TO START. 233 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,734 - OKAY, FINE, WHAT DO YOU WANT THE CODE WORD TO BE? 234 00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,533 - TORNADO. - UGH. I CAN'T-- 235 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,700 - I JUST FELT A KICK. - AWW! 236 00:07:56,734 --> 00:07:58,367 - MAGS, BRUCE'S MOM IS HERE. 237 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,567 - HIDE THE BOOZE! - OH! 238 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,300 - IN FRONT OF YOU, YOU'LL SEE DIAPERS LOADED 239 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,000 WITH MELTED CHOCOLATE, SIMULATING POOP. 240 00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:08,667 YOU CAN SNIFF IT, YOU CAN LICK IT. 241 00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:11,433 JUST SCREAM OUT WHAT KIND OF CHOCOLATE IT IS. 242 00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:13,734 EVERYBODY READY? START SNIFFIN'! 243 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,166 - OKAY. - OH, GOD. 244 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,734 - IS IT A MR. GOODBAR? - THIS IS DELICIOUS. 245 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,367 - TAKE 5. - IS THIS A KRACKEL? 246 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,433 - YEP. 247 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,166 - IS THIS--OH. - NESTLE CRUNCH. 248 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:22,467 - DON'T YOU DARE ANSWER THAT PHONE. 249 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,133 - OH, MY GOD, LISTEN. KEEP SNIFFIN', TOM SELLECK. 250 00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:25,367 YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 251 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,133 - GOOBERS. - IT'S NUTRAGEOUS! 252 00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:28,567 - MILKY WAY MIDNIGHT. - MOUNDS! 253 00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,433 - NO. - OH, MY GOD. 254 00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:32,467 THIS IS REAL POOP. 255 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:35,066 JUST KIDDING, YOU GUYS. ALMOND JOY. 256 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,100 - FIVE MORE SECONDS, LADIES. 257 00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:37,266 - A SNICKERS. SNICKERS! 258 00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,633 - COOKIES 'N' CREME. - I GOT A NUT. 259 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,033 - EMMA. - SNO-CAPS! 260 00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:42,500 - CORRECT! DIAPERS DOWN, HANDS UP. 261 00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:45,500 WITH A RECORD-BREAKING NUMBER, SIX DIAPERS, 262 00:08:45,533 --> 00:08:47,333 ZACH IS THE WINNER! 263 00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,767 - YEAH, ZACH. 264 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,166 - SORRY. - THAT'S OKAY. 265 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,400 THERE'LL BE OTHER DIAPER DERBIES, 266 00:08:52,433 --> 00:08:54,000 PROBABLY NOT MY OWN. - OKAY. 267 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,333 - SO I'LL JUST HAVE TO STRUGGLE ON, I GUESS. 268 00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,033 - ALL RIGHT, I HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA 269 00:08:57,066 --> 00:09:00,500 MAKE THIS CHOCOLATE FROWN TURN UPSIDE DOWN. 270 00:09:00,533 --> 00:09:02,200 ALL RIGHT, MARY PAT, MAY I HAVE THE FLOOR? 271 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,467 - OF COURSE. 272 00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,467 - ALL RIGHT, IF I COULD HAVE EVERYBODY'S ATTENTION. 273 00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:07,066 TORNADO. 274 00:09:07,066 --> 00:09:10,000 WE HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL PLANNED. 275 00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:11,233 ZACH, TORNADO. 276 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,333 - WHY DO YOU JUST KEEP SAYING "TORNADO"? 277 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,500 OH, RIGHT. 278 00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:18,133 - THIS IS JUST A LITTLE AUDIO-VISUAL PRESENTATION 279 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,633 THAT ZACH AND I PUT TOGETHER. 280 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:25,200 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 281 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,734 - YOU TOLD ME TO SCORE IT. - OH, MY GOD. 282 00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:36,500 - OH, EM, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT? 283 00:09:36,533 --> 00:09:39,400 - OH, YOU'RE THE SPITTIN' IMAGE OF YOUR MOTHER. 284 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:40,467 - YEAH. 285 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,100 - SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY PROUD. 286 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,500 - OH, YEAH. - OH, MY GOD! 287 00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:46,767 WHOSE BUTT IS THAT? 288 00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:49,166 - SHOW ME THAT JUICY ASS. 289 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,500 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA PUT UP THERE FOR DADDY? 290 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,400 - WHAT ABOUT THIS BISCUIT CAN? 291 00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:55,000 - OH, NO. - YEAH, PUT THAT UP THERE. 292 00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:56,133 - OKAY, WHAT'S HAPPENING? 293 00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:57,734 - I THINK BRUCE'S LAPTOP IS OVERRIDING MINE 294 00:09:57,767 --> 00:09:58,767 FROM THE BASEMENT. 295 00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:00,133 - WELL, FIX IT. JUST TURN IT OFF! 296 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,667 - WHAT YOU GOING TO PUT UP THERE FOR ME, DADDY? 297 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,133 - LET ME SHOW YOU, SWEET MOMMY. 298 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:05,367 LET ME SHOW YOU. 299 00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:06,467 - BRUCE! 300 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,767 - MAGGIE! - OH! 301 00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,667 - YEAH, HONEY, I'M WORKING ON THE CRIB RIGHT NOW. 302 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:11,767 - WE HAVE TO TURN THIS OFF! WE HAVE TO TURN THIS OFF! 303 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:13,066 - BRUCE! 304 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,066 - BRUCE! 305 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,633 WHAT--WHO IS MUNICHMUNCHER69? 306 00:10:16,633 --> 00:10:18,033 - WHO'S WHAT? 307 00:10:18,066 --> 00:10:19,667 - THE WOMAN ON YOUR SCREEN. WHAT IS HAPPENING? 308 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,033 - I DON'T KNOW. 309 00:10:21,066 --> 00:10:22,266 SHE JUST-- I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS! 310 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:23,533 WHY ARE YOU DOWN HERE? - GIVE ME ONE OF THESE! 311 00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,133 OKAY. OKAY, OKAY. 312 00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,700 - YOU KNOW I'M DOWN HERE! - YOU HAVE A BONER RIGHT NOW! 313 00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:28,133 A BIG BONER! - OHH! 314 00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:29,533 - AT BEST, IT'S A SEMI! 315 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,667 I DON'T HAVE A BONER RIGHT NOW! 316 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,300 - SHOULD I TAKE OUT THE CAN? 317 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:33,533 - OH, GOD! - OOH! 318 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,700 - I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T LOOK. 319 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:35,700 - CAN'T UNSEE THAT. 320 00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:37,600 - ZACH! TORNADO! TORNADO! 321 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,700 - WHO IS IT? 322 00:10:52,734 --> 00:10:54,567 - IT'S YOUR OLD PAL, EMMA. 323 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,433 HOW'S IT GOING IN THERE, BUDDY? 324 00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,066 - PRETTY TERRIBLE. 325 00:10:58,100 --> 00:10:59,266 - YEAH? 326 00:10:59,266 --> 00:11:01,467 OKAY, YOU MAYBE WANT TO COME OUT AND TALK? 327 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,166 - CAN YOU COME IN? 328 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,533 - UM...OKAY. 329 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,433 I JUST--I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH SPACE THERE REALLY IS. 330 00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:12,033 - I KNOW. I'M HUGE! 331 00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:13,033 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 332 00:11:13,033 --> 00:11:14,166 WE'RE GONNA FIGURE IT OUT. 333 00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:16,233 OKAY, NOW I'M COMING IN. 334 00:11:16,266 --> 00:11:20,467 - THANK YOU. - OKAY. 335 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,633 DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED DOWNSTAIRS? 336 00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:24,066 - OKAY. 337 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,567 WELL, APPARENTLY, THERE IS A WHOLE ONLINE COMMUNITY 338 00:11:27,567 --> 00:11:32,433 OF WOMEN WHO SPECIALIZE IN PUTTING THINGS UP THEIR BUTTS. 339 00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:34,600 - AND ARE THEY ALL GERMAN? 340 00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:36,300 - WELL, THEY'RE NOT ALL GERMAN, 341 00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:39,233 BUT I THINK HE PREFERS GERMANS, YOU KNOW, 342 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,133 'CAUSE OF THEIR HUSKY NATURE. 343 00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,333 - AND DOES HE SEE THEM IN PERSON? 344 00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:44,667 - NO. 345 00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,333 I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SURPRISED, YOU KNOW? 346 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:50,300 IT'S BEEN--IT'S BEEN REALLY BAD FOR A WHILE. 347 00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:51,600 - MAGS, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 348 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,233 - IT'S EMBARRASSING. 349 00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:56,400 I MEAN, YOU'RE OVER THERE IN SHANGHAI HOBNOBBING 350 00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:58,734 WITH ASIAN HIGH ROLLERS, TRADING, I DON'T KNOW, 351 00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:00,734 DIAMONDS FOR BRIEFCASES OF MONEY. 352 00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:02,467 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 353 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,767 - I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED IN SKYFALL. 354 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,500 - MY LIFE IS NOTHING LIKE SKYFALL, OKAY? 355 00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,533 DANIEL CRAIG IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND. 356 00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:11,333 I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND. 357 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:14,266 I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS, EXCEPT MY ASSISTANT RYUCHI 358 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,433 WHO ONLY GOES TO KARAOKE WITH ME 'CAUSE HE HAS TO, 359 00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:19,467 AND BECAUSE I DO A PHENOMENAL MANDARIN VERSION 360 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,266 OF "I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY FOR THIS JELLY." 361 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:24,600 IT'S PRETTY DEPRESSING. 362 00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:27,266 - I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A RIGHT CHOICE. 363 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:28,333 - YOU DID. 364 00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:30,266 YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR THEN. 365 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,767 ALL RIGHT, YOU WERE, WHAT, LIKE, 25? 366 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,133 - YEAH. 367 00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,734 - YOU KNOW, YOU LOST BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS. 368 00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,133 YOU WANTED SOMEONE SAFE. 369 00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:39,333 - WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW? 370 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:42,367 - I DON'T KNOW, BUT I KNOW WE'RE GONNA FIGURE IT OUT. 371 00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:43,567 OKAY? - OKAY. 372 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,200 - CAN I HAVE A HUG? OKAY. 373 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,633 OKAY, UM... - MM-HMM? 374 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,100 - I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU, 375 00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:58,066 BUT THERE IS A SLIGHT RUSTLING SOUND BEHIND ME. 376 00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,734 - OH, YEAH, THERE'S--A RACCOON FAMILY'S BEEN NESTING-- 377 00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,066 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 378 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:03,266 - NO, NO, NO. - THEN WHY ARE WE IN HERE? 379 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:04,500 - WAIT, DON'T WORRY. THEY'RE FRIENDLY. 380 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,066 WE JUST ONLY NEED TO WORK 381 00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:10,200 - AAH! OH, MY GOD! - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 382 00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:11,233 - I FELT ITS WHISKERS! 383 00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,033 OH, MY GOD, THE MEETING. 384 00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:28,066 THE MEETING. 385 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,233 OH, MY GOD. OKAY, I NEED A BLAZER. 386 00:13:30,266 --> 00:13:31,233 WHERE IS A BLAZER? 387 00:13:31,266 --> 00:13:33,700 OH! OW! 388 00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:35,400 LAPTOP, LAPTOP, LAPTOP. 389 00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:38,133 JUST CHILL OUT! SHUT UP! 390 00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,367 OKAY. 391 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,734 - THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME TO STRIKE 392 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:46,133 WITH A CASINO COMPLEX OF THIS MAGNITUDE. 393 00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:47,500 - I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE BEEN DELAYED. 394 00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:50,700 THERE WAS SOME, UM, TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. 395 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,033 - AH, EMMA, EXCELLENT. 396 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:58,200 - SO WHAT WE'RE LOOKING AT, MR. ZHANG, IS--OOPS. 397 00:13:58,233 --> 00:14:00,433 KNOW WHAT? JUST--I'M SORRY, HOLD ON FOR ONE SECOND. 398 00:14:00,467 --> 00:14:02,233 I JUST--OOP. 399 00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:03,233 OH, GOD. 400 00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,467 YOU'RE SLIPPING AWAY ON ME HERE. 401 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,200 OKAY, BUT WE'RE BACK. 402 00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,333 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 403 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:14,700 WITH 805 SLOT MACHINES, 507--50-- 404 00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:16,700 IS IT 557 GAMING TABLES? 405 00:14:16,734 --> 00:14:18,533 THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT. 406 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:19,734 I MEAN, I WOULD LIKE TO DOUBLE-CHECK IF-- 407 00:14:19,767 --> 00:14:21,767 - IF I MAY INTERRUPT. 408 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,033 - YES, PLEASE. THANK YOU. 409 00:14:24,066 --> 00:14:28,633 - WHEN MY FATHER STARTED THIS COMPANY IN THE EARLY '20s, 410 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:32,700 HE WAS... A SHOE SALESMAN. 411 00:14:32,734 --> 00:14:34,600 - UH-HUH. 412 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,600 - NO, NOT EVEN A SHOE SALESMAN. 413 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,133 HE JUST MADE SOLES. 414 00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:41,533 - OH. 415 00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:43,700 - AND NOW THIS COMPANY'S 416 00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:47,700 A MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR CORPORATION. 417 00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:53,066 AND I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE INTEGRITY OF MY FATHER'S NAME. 418 00:14:57,533 --> 00:14:58,633 - COME ON! 419 00:14:58,667 --> 00:14:59,734 IS SHE SLEEPING? 420 00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:01,033 - I'M SORRY. WHAT HAPPENED? 421 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,633 I'M SORRY. 422 00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:05,000 - I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO DISRESPECTED IN MY LIFE! 423 00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:07,500 - OH, I--MR. ZHANG, PLEASE, MY APOLOGIES. 424 00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,500 - THIS DEAL IS OFF. - OH, NO, NO, NO. 425 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,433 SIR, I--SIR, PLEASE, I CAN EXPLAIN. 426 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:13,266 IT WAS JUST A TECHNICAL SNAFU. 427 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:16,100 AND, MR. ZHANG, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE THE ROOM. 428 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,400 UGH! - WHAT WAS THAT? 429 00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,767 I HAVE NEVER SEEN A DISPLAY LIKE THAT FROM YOU EVER. 430 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,100 - GRAHAM, I'M SO SORRY. 431 00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,433 MY FRIEND'S HUSBAND LEFT HER, AND I-- 432 00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:23,600 - I HONESTLY DON'T CARE. 433 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,066 JUST GET YOURSELF ON A PLANE TO SHANGHAI 434 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,100 AND FIX THIS NOW! 435 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,200 - SHE'S LITERALLY FALLING APART. 436 00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:30,367 - EMMA, IF YOU ARE NOT ON THAT PLANE, 437 00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:33,166 YOU ARE GONE, UNDERSTOOD? 438 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,500 - YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE, SIR? 439 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,500 - OH, MY GOD! - EMMA? 440 00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:43,667 - MARK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING CREEPING AROUND? 441 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,300 - MRS. JOHANSSEN FROM NEXT DOOR CALLED AND SAID 442 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:47,233 THERE WAS A BROAD-SHOULDERED, BLAZERED MAN SITTING 443 00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:48,467 ON MAGGIE'S PORCH. 444 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,600 - CAN YOU PLEASE GET THE FLASHLIGHT OUT OF MY FACE? 445 00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:52,166 - OH, SORRY, YEAH. 446 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,734 WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE 00 A.M. IN THE MORNING? 447 00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:55,433 - I MESSED UP SOMETHING HUGE AT WORK, 448 00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:57,100 AND I GOT TO WAKE UP MAGGIE 449 00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:58,533 AND TELL HER THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE LIKE-- 450 00:15:58,567 --> 00:16:00,266 AND I CAN'T STAY LIKE I PROMISED. 451 00:16:00,266 --> 00:16:04,433 AND I'M JUST--I AM FEELING LIKE--LIKE THE WORST PERSON. 452 00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:07,500 - WELL, YOU KIND OF ARE. - I'M SORRY? 453 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,533 - IF THAT HAPPENED TO MY BEST FRIEND, I'D STAY. 454 00:16:09,567 --> 00:16:11,367 - OKAY, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. 455 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,533 I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR THIS COMPANY FOR THE PAST 11 YEARS. 456 00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:15,100 - THEY CAN'T GIVE YOU A COUPLE DAYS OFF? 457 00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,266 - NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 458 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,633 IT'S A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED, OKAY, 459 00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:19,433 THAN SPENDING EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT TRYING TO FIGURE OUT 460 00:16:19,467 --> 00:16:21,133 WHO THREW THE LAWN FURNITURE INTO THE RIVERAS' POOL. 461 00:16:21,133 --> 00:16:23,533 - I CRACKED THAT CASE WITH THE HELP OF A VERY SMALL PIECE 462 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,767 OF RED T-SHIRT FABRIC THAT BELONGED TO JOFFREY DAVIDSON. 463 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,433 HIS PARENTS WERE GETTING A DIVORCE, 464 00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:28,533 AND HE WAS ACTING OUT. 465 00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,000 SO DON'T TELL ME ABOUT COMPLICATED. 466 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,133 - OKAY, WHATEVER. 467 00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,734 - OH, THAT'S-- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 468 00:16:32,767 --> 00:16:35,533 DO WHATEVER YOU WANT LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE. 469 00:16:35,533 --> 00:16:38,233 - YOU GONNA GO MUNCH ON A DOUGHNUT? 470 00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:41,033 GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE. I'LL CALL THE REAL POLICE. 471 00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,033 - GUESS WHO'S GONNA ANSWER THE PHONE. 472 00:16:42,066 --> 00:16:43,300 - WHO? - HELLO? ME. 473 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:46,033 - I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T. 474 00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:49,533 - HEY. 475 00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:51,433 - MORNIN', SLEEPYHEAD. - MORNIN'. 476 00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:54,100 - POP A SQUAT. I'M FIRING UP THE FLAPJACKS. 477 00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:56,000 I FIGURED IT OUT. 478 00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:57,633 I ASKED MY BOSS FOR A COUPLE PERSONAL DAYS, 479 00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:58,633 AND HE SAID, "NO." 480 00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,066 SO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID? 481 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,066 "SCREW HIM," RIGHT? 482 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,433 I'M QUITTING MY JOB. 483 00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:05,400 I'M GONNA MOVE IN HERE AND HELP YOU TAKE CARE OF THE BABY. 484 00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:07,433 - HEY, GREAT. THE MORE THE MERRIER. 485 00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:14,233 - WELL, I MEAN, HE CAME OVER EARLY TO GET SOME STUFF, 486 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,467 BUT THEN HE STARTED CRYING 487 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,300 AND SAYING HOW HE COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME. 488 00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:20,300 AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "I'M ABOUT TO HAVE HIS BABY," YOU KNOW? 489 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:22,133 "I SHOULD TRY AND WORK IT OUT." 490 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,200 - IS HE GONNA STOP PUTTING STUFF UP HIS BUTT? 491 00:17:24,233 --> 00:17:25,467 - OF COURSE. 492 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,066 I MEAN, HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO WORK ON IT. 493 00:17:27,066 --> 00:17:28,400 - WORK ON IT? 494 00:17:28,433 --> 00:17:29,767 - OKAY, I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF CHOICES. 495 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,033 - YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE. 496 00:17:31,066 --> 00:17:32,600 I'LL MOVE HERE. I WILL HELP YOU. 497 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,166 - THAT IS NOT AN OPTION. - YES, IT IS! 498 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,633 - YOU COULDN'T EVEN DRIVE DOWN MAIN STREET 499 00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:37,166 WITHOUT HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. 500 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,734 - OH, MY GOD! SO I'LL JUST TAKE THE SIDE STREETS. 501 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,433 WHAT IS YOUR POINT? 502 00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,500 - HEY, CAN YOU JUST TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH, OKAY? 503 00:17:41,533 --> 00:17:42,500 BECAUSE THERE'S RACCOONS IN THERE 504 00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:43,533 THAT WILL CHARGE AT ANY MINUTE. 505 00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,166 - GOOD! YOU KNOW WHAT? 506 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,734 THEY'RE IN THERE SCREWING THEIR LITTLE RACCOON BRAINS OUT. 507 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:48,233 THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT SOMETIMES LIFE DOESN'T 508 00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:49,567 ALWAYS WORK OUT AS PLANNED. 509 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,500 AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, YOU GOT TO BE BRAVE 510 00:17:51,533 --> 00:17:53,266 AND LET YOUR FRIEND HELP YOU. 511 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,066 - BUT MY RACCOON FRIEND LIKES TO JUMP TRASH CAN TO TRASH CAN. 512 00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,266 - OKAY, WHEN HAVE I EVER JUMPED TRASH CANS ON YOU? 513 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,166 - WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN STUFF GETS HARD. 514 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,000 YOU DID IT WITH MARK, YOU DID IT WITH YOUR MOM. 515 00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:03,367 AND STUFF IS GONNA GET HARD HERE, EM. 516 00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:06,333 THE SH-- IS LITERALLY GONNA HIT THE FAN. 517 00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:09,333 AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SKYPE IN OR CALL RYUCHI, 518 00:18:09,367 --> 00:18:13,100 AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA BAIL, AND I'M GONNA BE ALL ALONE. 519 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,133 - YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD DO THAT TO YOU? 520 00:18:19,233 --> 00:18:20,266 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW, FINE. 521 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,700 IF THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY THINK, 522 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,166 THEN I HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH. 523 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,767 I HOPE YOU ENJOY LIFE WITH YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND, 524 00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:28,066 MUNICHMUNCHER--WHAT IS IT? 525 00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:30,767 - 69. - 69! 526 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,266 - HE FINISHED IT. 527 00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,300 - BABE? 528 00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:03,667 - ILKA, PLEASE TRY TO KEEP IT TOGETHER. 529 00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,133 I'M GONNA KEEP SENDING YOU CHECKS 530 00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:06,700 FOR THAT DEMO YOU'RE RECORDING, ALL RIGHT? 531 00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:08,433 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT, DADDY. 532 00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:10,133 - DON'T SKIMP ON A SOUND ENGINEER. 533 00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:12,500 PROMISE ME THAT YOU'LL GET SOMEONE REALLY SOLID. 534 00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:14,400 IF IT COSTS A FEW MORE BUCKS, I'LL SEND IT TO YOU. 535 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,533 - YOU'RE PAYING FOR HER DEMO? 536 00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:16,734 - NO, NO, NO. 537 00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:18,266 - YOU KNOW WHAT IS REALLY CONFUSING TO ME IS 538 00:19:18,266 --> 00:19:20,467 WHY YOU WOULD PUT TOGETHER THE WHOLE NURSERY 539 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,600 WHEN YOU ARE CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. 540 00:19:22,633 --> 00:19:24,100 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 541 00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:25,300 I DIDN'T PUT THE NURSERY TOGETHER. 542 00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:29,633 - WHO--OH, MY GOD. 543 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,166 EMMA. 544 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,633 EMMA DID IT. 545 00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:33,767 - THAT'S A REAL FRIEND. 546 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,433 AND YOU CAN'T FIND THAT-- - OKAY. 547 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:40,166 PLEASE SHUT YOUR FACE AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! 548 00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:44,567 - WHAT DID WE DO? 549 00:19:44,567 --> 00:19:46,533 - YOUR DRIVER HAS AN EXPIRED REGISTRATION. 550 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,100 - AND YOU HAVE TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW? 551 00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:49,333 - IT'S THE ONE THING I HAVE TO DO RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW, 552 00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:50,700 BECAUSE MY JOB'S SO UNCOMPLICATED. 553 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:54,033 - MARK, SHOULD I CALL FOR BACKUP? 554 00:19:54,066 --> 00:19:56,033 IS THAT MAN BOTHERING YOU? 555 00:19:56,066 --> 00:19:58,300 - MRS. JOHANSSEN, IT'S EMMA CARTER, OKAY? 556 00:19:58,333 --> 00:19:59,533 YOU KNOW ME. I'M A WOMAN. 557 00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:01,166 - MRS. JOHANSSEN, EVERYTHING'S FINE. 558 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,433 - NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S NOT FINE. 559 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:03,600 I GET IT, ALL RIGHT? 560 00:20:03,633 --> 00:20:06,133 I'M--I'M A BAD PERSON, I SCREW UP, 561 00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,100 SO I AM OFFICIALLY SORRY, MARK. 562 00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:10,266 I'M SORRY TO ANYONE ELSE I MAY HAVE HURT. 563 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:13,066 PAKISTANI MAN, FOR WHATEVER I MAY HAVE DONE TO YOU. 564 00:20:13,066 --> 00:20:14,200 - WE HAVE NO TROUBLE. 565 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,600 - OKAY, THANK YOU. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 566 00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:17,467 - THANK YOU, MARK. - WHAT IS GOING ON? 567 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:18,600 - I ASKED HIM TO PULL YOU OVER 568 00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:20,500 BECAUSE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. - OH, OKAY. 569 00:20:20,533 --> 00:20:22,033 ALL RIGHT, WHAT? 570 00:20:22,066 --> 00:20:23,467 - I LOVE YOU, 571 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:26,467 AND I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE AND HELP ME RAISE THIS BABY. 572 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,533 - OH, THIS IS DIFFERENT. 573 00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:30,233 - OKAY, WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF YOU SAID 574 00:20:30,266 --> 00:20:31,667 ABOUT HOW I CAN'T HANDLE IT? 575 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,200 - I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT. 576 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,400 I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT, 577 00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:38,333 BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT I WANT WITH ME. 578 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,467 OKAY? 579 00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:41,533 - SORRY I'M LATE. 580 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:42,600 - HONESTLY? 581 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,700 - OH. OH, MAN. 582 00:20:44,734 --> 00:20:47,433 YOU'D THINK I'D HAVE MORE CARDIOVASCULAR STRENGTH, 583 00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:50,567 WHAT, WITH ALL THE TRUMPETING I'VE BEEN DOING. 584 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,033 - EMMA, WHAT DO YOU SAY? 585 00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:55,333 WILL YOU STAY WITH ME IN MY STUPID TRASH CAN? 586 00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:57,266 - YES. 587 00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:00,700 YES, I WILL STAY WITH YOU IN YOUR STUPID TRASH CAN. 588 00:21:01,734 --> 00:21:03,700 - KISS HER. KISS HER! 589 00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:05,767 - IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. WE'RE JUST VERY GOOD FRIENDS. 590 00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:07,066 - I DON'T CARE. 591 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,533 AFTER ALL THAT, SOMEBODY HAS TO KISS. 592 00:21:09,567 --> 00:21:10,767 - WELL, NOBODY'S GONNA BE KISSING, SO-- 593 00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:13,567 - YEAH. OH, MY-- 594 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,400 - OKAY, ZACH! - ZACH! 595 00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:16,633 - GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. 596 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:19,567 - PEOPLE DEFINITELY DIDN'T WANT THAT. 597 00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:52,066 GET OUT OF THERE! 598 00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:53,767 GET OUT OF THERE! 599 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,734 OH, MY GOD! WE DID IT! 600 00:21:55,767 --> 00:21:57,333 WE DID IT! 601 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,000 GET OUT OF THERE! 602 00:22:01,033 --> 00:22:02,266 I FREAKED! 603 00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,100 LET'S GO GET A DRINK. 604 00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:06,166 - I CAN'T DRINK. - I'LL GET YOU THE MILK. 44087

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