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1
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,347
Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,520
Sometimes you just
get a feeling
3
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:22,590
Like you need
some kinda change
4
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:27,461
No matter what the odds
are this time
5
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,830
Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
6
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:33,267
This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
7
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:37,538
Gives every dark street
a light at the end
8
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,375
Standing tall
9
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:45,246
On the wings of my dream
10
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:48,082
Rise and fall
11
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,919
On the wings of my dream
12
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,687
The rain and thunder
13
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,022
The wind and haze
14
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,092
I'm bound for better days
15
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:05,199
Nothing's gonna
stop me now
16
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,855
Well, this is the
biggest joke
in the world.
17
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,424
What is?
18
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:33,161
doing a stress evaluation
with the printers.
19
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,629
(LAUGHING)
20
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,202
That is the biggest joke
in the world.
21
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:45,139
(STUTTERS) I love it.
I'm just not quite clear
on the punchline.
22
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,380
who's doing a stress test
with the printers.
23
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,548
The printers aren't
under any stress at all!
24
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,350
(LAUGHING)
25
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:04,525
Appleton, Bartokomous,
26
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,026
We're trying a new format
on the Sunday paper.
27
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,728
Well, you can
count on us, sir.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
28
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,663
And may I compliment you
on your selection
29
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,532
of the printers
for the stress evaluation?
30
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,201
They're under
a lot of pressure
down there.
31
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,269
(LAUGHING)
32
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:21,709
Of course, it doesn't
come anywhere near
33
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,511
(LAUGHING)
34
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,714
He's killing me.
35
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:33,454
But I guess we've become
somewhat, uh, experts at,
uh, managing stress.
36
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,456
Appleton, you've given me
an excellent idea.
37
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,491
Well, just part
of my job, sir.
38
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,861
And, uh, what idea
would that be, sir?
39
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:44,965
The idea is to forget
the printers.
40
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,767
to talk with the experts.
41
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,739
What have I done?
I have no idea.
42
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:55,042
But you were
on a roll, buddy.
43
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:59,513
I think I just got everybody
in the City Room
volunteer for a stress test.
44
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,549
That could be fun.
No, it's not gonna be fun.
45
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,384
Balki, there's gonna be
some psychiatrist up here
46
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,519
trying to find out
everything we're thinking.
47
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,988
Well, uh, that might be
possible with you, cousin,
48
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,291
but I don't think
he can do that to me.
49
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:14,027
Most of the time,
I don't know
what I'm thinking.
50
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,997
I mean, sometimes I think
I know what I'm thinking
51
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:21,735
and then I start
to try to think
about what I'm thinking
52
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:25,706
and just when I think
the thought that I think
I'm thinking...
53
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:31,879
What are we
talking about?
54
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:34,715
We, uh, we... Wait...
55
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,418
We're talking
about the psychiatrist.
56
00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:38,919
The psychiatrist--
Oh, the psychiatrist.
57
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,455
Do you see the way
your mind wanders?
58
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:47,227
No, hey, no, Balki.
59
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:51,098
You have to be very careful
what you say
to the psychiatrist, okay?
60
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,633
Because he's gonna take
everything you say...
61
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,803
(STUTTERS) And twist it
and turn it and think
62
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:59,540
that just because your
brother Billy
63
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:03,277
Well, it's not true,
I tell you.
64
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:06,547
Cousin, cousin,
listen, cousin.
Cousin, it's okay.
65
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,749
(CRYING)
It's all right.
It's all right.
66
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,352
It's all right.
Now, now,
just don't worry
67
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,521
about your brother Billy
and don't worry about me
68
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,790
because when the psychiatrist
comes to talk to me,
I'm just gonna be myself.
69
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,727
Oh, so, you're just
gonna be yourself?
Just gonna be myself.
70
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:23,230
Well, let me tell you
something, Balki.
71
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,798
Whatever you do,
do not speak Myposian.
72
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:28,602
Why not?
No. No, not a word.
73
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:34,742
No, no, none of this...
(imitating babbling)
74
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:38,579
Excuse me!
75
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,150
I don't want to interrupt
your chant.
76
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:48,088
Uh, I'm Dr. Michael Aldridge.
Mr. Wainright sent me up here.
77
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:51,224
Oh! Oh!
(STAMMERS) Dr. Aldridge.
78
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,528
(CHUCKLING)
No, no, not a chant.
79
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:58,332
Hello. Hello, hello,
I'm Balki Bartokomous and...
80
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,702
And this my, my cousin
Larry Appleton.
And, um...
81
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,305
I wouldn't bring up
his brother Billy.
82
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,577
I'm just gonna ask
a few questions
83
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,912
do some word association,
show you some ink blots
84
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,047
and ask for your
interpretations.
85
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,585
All right, Larry.
86
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,621
What do you see?
87
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,691
Man's, uh, relentless quest
88
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:27,995
to return to and liberate
the child within, as I have.
89
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,964
Butterfly.
90
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,935
And what do you
see in this one?
91
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,371
Man in turmoil,
uh, struggling to reach
92
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:40,574
the level
of inner peace I have.
93
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,677
Bowling ball.
94
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,348
Now, we're going to do
some word association.
95
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:51,485
I'll say a word,
you say the first thing
that comes in your head.
96
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,723
Boy.
97
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,659
uh, desire to help others
on his road toward adulthood.
98
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,829
Girl.
99
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,867
Career.
Struggling, clutching.
100
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,870
all while being
a loyal soldier to
Mr. Wainright, which I am.
101
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:15,876
Job.
102
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:18,278
I understand
that even though
you're married,
103
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:21,982
your cousin
still lives with you.
Tell me about that.
104
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,017
(STAMMERING)
Oh, I do, uh, well,
no, no, that's...
105
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,353
I know that it may seem
a little peculiar, but, uh...
106
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,422
No, uh, well,
I had no choice.
107
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,924
Because, well,
to be perfectly honest,
108
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,727
uh, he's...
He's helpless without me.
109
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:41,569
but to tell you the truth,
he's helpless without me.
110
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,246
Bartokomous, Appleton.
111
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,883
Hi, Mr. Wainright.
Yes, sir, Mr. Wainright.
112
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:02,089
And he's given me some
very constructive ideas
113
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:07,027
about changes
I could make around here.
114
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:11,632
Dr. Aldridge, uh,
found you two
very, mmm, interesting.
115
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:14,134
Uh, in fact,
he's so impressed by you
116
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:17,505
that he wants both of you
to do further stress testing
at his clinic.
117
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,507
Be there tomorrow morning
at 9:00.
118
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,576
Cousin,
did you hear that?
119
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,278
We get to go down
to the clinic
for further testing!
120
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,447
Oh, I'm so excited!
121
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,983
I don't know about you,
but I'm not gonna sleep
a wink tonight.
122
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,420
What am I gonna wear?
What am I gonna wear?
123
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,755
Oh, I guess
we shouldn't flaunt
124
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:37,090
our good fortune
in front of the others.
125
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,128
I knew it. I knew it.
126
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:45,999
Dr. Aldridge found something
127
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,969
What did you tell him?
Did you tell him
about the Dance of Joy?
128
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,839
Tell him about it?
I taught it to him.
129
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:56,209
He did this snappy little
knee-jerk thing
130
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,612
Balki, Balki, don't you see
what's going on here?
131
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,414
When Wainright said
he's gonna make some
changes around here,
132
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,819
what he means is that
he's gonna find out who can't
handle stress and fire them.
133
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,021
And I'm gonna be
one of the first ones to go.
134
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,679
So, this is the clinic.
135
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,582
It's even more wonderful
than I dreamed.
136
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,785
So much formica
and simulated wood.
137
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,525
(STUTTERS) Well, I don't
have to work at the paper.
138
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,829
I could cut hair.
139
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,535
And my Uncle Ed sold
meat door-to-door
140
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,037
always made
a very nice living.
141
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,772
Cousin.
(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)
142
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,074
Cousin, listen,
this is not necessary.
143
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,611
You're not going
to lose your job.
144
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,715
And can we please
just be adults about this?
145
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,316
(SIGHS)
146
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,251
Popsicle sticks!
147
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,159
No, no, Balki,
those are not
popsicle sticks.
148
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:24,464
Mmm-hmm.
Those are
tongue depressors.
149
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,433
After the popsicle's gone,
150
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,568
your tongue gets depressed.
151
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,108
Hello, Larry, Balki.
152
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,610
Dr. Mike!
153
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,547
Well, you ready
to get started?
154
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,949
Dr. Mike,
before we get started,
155
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,685
I just got to hear
your duck imitation.
156
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:52,893
My duck imitation?
Yeah.
157
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,529
(STAMMERING)
Will you stop it? You're...
Ow! Ow!
158
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,233
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
He's... He's a little
nervous about the test.
159
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,569
(GRUNTING)
Oh!
160
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,205
Look, cousin,
chest watches.
161
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:11,278
What these devices will do
162
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:15,448
Please be seated.
163
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,351
There's no right or wrong way
to do them.
No passing or failing.
164
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,287
Just do your best.
165
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,692
(DOOR CLOSES)
166
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:28,295
No passing or failing.
167
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,864
Oh, come on, cousin,
Dr. Mike left the room.
168
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:34,501
We can do anything we want
in this palace of fun.
I'm so excited.
169
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:35,969
(CHUCKLES)
170
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,038
Balki, we cannot do
anything we want.
171
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,342
Dr. Mike is gonna
be watching us
from behind the mirror.
172
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,144
Get out of the city.
173
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,048
There's no room
behind that mirror.
174
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:50,984
It's just right up
against the wall.
175
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:54,354
No, Balki, there is
another room on the
other side of the mirror.
176
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,690
He can see us,
but we can't see him.
177
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,259
Really?
Yes.
178
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,964
And stretch!
179
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,069
Balki! Balki!
What?
180
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:15,242
He is watching us
from over there.
181
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,145
(STUTTERS) You know,
and without
even knowing it,
182
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:23,984
we could be revealing
our deepest
inner most thoughts.
183
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:26,854
Will you stop it?
184
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:32,159
What's the matter with you?
185
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,996
Cousin, cousin...
I'm failing the test already!
186
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,265
Remember. Remember your
"Think and Grow Calm" tapes?
187
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,868
Yeah.
Well, now, just remember,
you take a deep breath.
188
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,736
(BOTH INHALING)
189
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,271
And repeat after me.
190
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,706
I am a Halloween.
191
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:49,076
I am a Halloween.
No, no, no.
192
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,578
It's not "I am a Halloween".
193
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,547
It's "I am a hollow reed".
194
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,950
(DEVICE CONTINUES BEEPING)
195
00:11:57,017 --> 00:12:00,020
Well, that makes absolutely
no sense whatsoever.
196
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,689
But if it works for you,
go with it.
197
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,024
I am a hollow reed.
198
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:09,162
I am a hollow reed.
199
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:13,633
All right. We're going
to begin with a simple task.
Please be seated.
200
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,736
Oh. You know,
I decided
201
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:19,773
DR. ALDRIDGE:
Assemble the puzzle of the
United States on the table.
202
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,775
You have one minute.
Begin.
203
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,344
All right, all right, Balki,
you start with East Coast,
work your way this way,
204
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,714
I'll start with the West Coast
and work my way that way.
205
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:32,752
I don't want to have a plan.
Just start on the East Coast
and work your way this way.
206
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,989
where people have
nice braids and--
207
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,490
you start in the middle
and work your way out. Go!
208
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,794
Oh, come on, cousin.
No, look.
209
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,129
Oh, cousin,
for goodness' sake.
210
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,832
Let's make a game out of it.
211
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,233
We've only got
45 seconds left.
212
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:50,938
Cousin, cousin, look,
the only way
213
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,140
California!
Where is California?
214
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,775
California here I come
215
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,178
Right back where
I started from
216
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,147
Start in the middle
of the country.
217
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:11,558
BOTH: (SINGING)
Oh, the sun shines bright
on my old Kentucky home
218
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,463
Oh, I come from Alabama
with a banjo on my knee
219
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,732
I'm goin' to Louisiana
my true love for to see
220
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,769
BOTH: (SINGING)
Oh, Susanna
don't you cry for me
221
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:26,106
For I come from Alabama
with a banjo on my knee
222
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:31,979
Carry me back
to old Virginny
223
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,214
All right, Balki,
we just need New York.
Where's New York?
224
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:37,417
Where is New York?
Just find New York.
225
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,286
If I can make it there,
then I'll make it anywhere.
226
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:42,322
It's up to you!
New York! New York!
227
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:49,062
These vagabond shoes
Ta ta ta-ra-ra
228
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:52,832
Are leaving today
Ta ta ta-ra-ra
229
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:56,769
I want to be a part of it
230
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,406
In old New York
231
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:07,680
I'll make it anywhere
232
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:11,018
It's up to you, New York
233
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:16,056
New York
234
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,661
Time.
235
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,463
You did very well.
236
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,065
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
237
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,567
Are you ready for step two?
238
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:28,768
Oh, you bet, we are.
239
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,603
BOTH: Hi-yah!
240
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,244
Raise the temperature
in the lab
to 100 degrees.
241
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,381
I love this part.
242
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,320
There is a stack
of assorted colored papers
in front of you.
243
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,490
Separate them according
to color and count them.
244
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,125
You have two minutes.
245
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:55,028
All right, Balki,
this will go faster
if we each take half
246
00:14:55,095 --> 00:15:01,134
and then add them up
at the end.
247
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,803
One, two, sweep the hut.
248
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,739
Three, four, milk the goat.
249
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,809
Five, six, tend the flock.
250
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,345
Seven, eight, run next door
251
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:16,116
and see if Stavros
has any extra lard.
252
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,053
Nine--
Balki, will you stop that?
253
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,688
It doesn't even rhyme.
254
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,957
Well, it does in Myposian.
255
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,459
(MUMBLES)
Now, I have to start
all over again.
256
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,231
Boy, it's getting
hot in here.
257
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:32,832
Balki.
258
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,767
Uh-huh.
259
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,203
What is your phone number?
260
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:46,713
Five, four, three,
two, one, zero.
261
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,118
Will you shut up?
262
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,053
(DEVICE BEEPING)
263
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,487
Cousin, now, cousin,
cousin, look, look.
264
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,656
Just remember,
deep breath, deep breath.
265
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,927
I am hollow reed
and wind blows
through me with no trouble.
266
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,195
Trouble blows through me
like the wind.
267
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,531
Wind blows through me...
268
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,500
One, two...
269
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,070
DR. ALDRIDGE:
Larry, what is your
wife's occupation?
270
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,805
Five... Flight attendant.
Six...
271
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,508
Does it bother you
that your wife spends
a lot of time
272
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,910
away from home with
good-looking pilots?
273
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:22,615
Twelve, 13, 14, 15...
No!
274
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,052
Sixteen...
275
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,287
Cousin, I am a hollow reed.
Nineteen...
I am a hollow reed.
276
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,089
I am a Hollow reed.
Twenty... I am a hollow reed.
277
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:32,059
Hollow reed.
I am a hollow reed.
278
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:35,095
How can I be
a hollow reed when
my wife's off sharing peanuts
279
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,297
with some square-jawed
jet jockey?
280
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:42,735
I am a hollow reed.
281
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,804
BOTH:
I'm a Halloween.
282
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,606
I'm a Halloween.
283
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,109
I'm a Halloween.
284
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:52,945
Okay. Yeah.
Thank you, buddy. Thank you.
285
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,714
Oh, okay.
And don't let him
distract you.
286
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,149
All right, all right.
287
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,485
Four, five, six--
288
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,787
DR. ALDRIDGE: Balki.
Uh-huh.
289
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,523
I understand your girlfriend
lives in the same house
with you?
290
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:06,493
Yes, that's right.
She lives
right across the hall.
291
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,229
Are you a feeling a lot
of pressure to get married?
292
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,632
To who?
293
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,537
Balki, we gotta do something
about the heat in here.
Yeah.
294
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:20,407
Just turn on the fan.
No, no, cousin.
295
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,210
Cousin, cousin, listen to me.
Turn on the fan.
Turn on the fan.
296
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,178
Now!
(DEVICE BEEPING)
297
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,154
(YELLING)
298
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,461
Cousin...
299
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:44,063
Balki, turn off the fan!
I am a hollow reed.
300
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,233
Turn off the fan!
Turn off the fan! Now!
301
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,700
Turn the fan off!
302
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,737
I can't.
Cousin, I can't turn it off.
303
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,572
I can't turn it off.
(GRUNTING)
304
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,178
I can't move it, cousin.
DR. ALDRIDGE:
You have 20 seconds.
305
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:01,881
Balki, uh, help me pick up
the papers or I'm gonna
lose my job!
306
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:05,118
Hey, cousin, listen.
You know what?
307
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:08,020
Nothing... Nothing is that
important, cousin.
It's just...
308
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:12,292
Cousin... Oh, gosh,
if you lose your job,
you get another job.
309
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,361
DR. ALDRIDGE: Balki.
Yeah?
310
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,430
Did your Cousin Larry tell you
that he's going to Disneyland
this summer
311
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,532
and he's not taking you?
312
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,202
(DEVICE BEEPING)
313
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:28,741
How could you
do that to me?
314
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:33,546
You know that
going to the Magic Kingdom
is my life-long dream?
315
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,815
Balki, I didn't say that!
He's lying.
316
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:39,819
Doctors don't lie.
317
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:43,456
Balki... I'm telling you,
I didn't say that.
318
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,359
Don't you see
what he's trying to do?
319
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:48,161
so he'll raise our,
raise our stress level.
320
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:52,865
And you thought you'd just go
to Disneyland and unwind!
321
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,367
(DEVICE BEEPING RAPIDLY)
322
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,036
I'm not going to Disneyland!
323
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,272
Nobody is going to Disneyland!
324
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:02,975
DR. ALDRIDGE: Time's up!
325
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,877
We're gonna lose our jobs.
326
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,847
Yeah, well, one of us
is goin' to Disneyland!
327
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,351
Yes, I am.
328
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,594
Yes, thank you, Alice.
329
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,697
That was
Wainright's secretary.
330
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,233
BOTH: Alice.
331
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:31,304
We may as well clean out
our desks now.
332
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:34,741
Cousin, I'm so sorry
that I let you down.
333
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,809
(STUTTERS) I...
334
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:40,413
When Dr. Aldridge said that
you were going to Disneyland
without me,
335
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,950
I just completely
lost it and...
(SMACKS LIPS)
336
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:47,019
It wasn't very nice of
Dr. Aldridge to lie to me.
Hmm.
337
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,888
He really got your goat.
338
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:56,629
No. No,
he doesn't have Binki.
It's an expression.
339
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,233
"He's got Binki"
is an expression?
What does that mean?
340
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,237
Appleton, Bartokomous.
341
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,574
I've just been on the phone
with Dr. Aldridge.
342
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,742
Well, I'm surprised
you both fit.
343
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,416
(STUTTERS) Mr. Wainwright,
I can explain everything
about the stress test.
344
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:21,888
There's nothing to explain.
345
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,324
He thinks
your obsessiveness offsets
346
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,225
Bartokomous'
lack of concentration
347
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:31,097
and his level of composure
offsets your level
of neurosis.
348
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:35,001
(STAMMERS) But, sir,
we failed the stress test.
We crumbled.
349
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:40,407
That's the point of the test,
Appleton, everyone crumbles.
350
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,575
Then you crumbled
in a big way.
351
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,211
I saw the tape.
It was quite amusing.
352
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:49,982
As a matter of fact,
my wife and I
353
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,718
My favorite part is...
354
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:54,421
"I am a Halloween!"
(LAUGHING)
355
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,390
I am a Halloween.
356
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,995
Well, cousin, you see,
it weren't for nothing.
357
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:06,333
We still got our jobs
and we're bringing
big laughs
358
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:10,069
to Mr. and
Mrs. Wainwright's parties
and, uh...
359
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:12,004
We learned
a valuable lesson.
360
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:14,974
That we make a great team
till we start to fight.
361
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:18,911
So, uh, let's just
see to it that, uh...
362
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,948
We don't have
any more fights, okay?
363
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,951
(STUTTERS) Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
364
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:28,421
Are you saying that I am
the one who starts the fights?
365
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,457
(SCOFFS)
366
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,025
Well, I'm not
saying that, no,
367
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:37,564
although you are
the one that, that, uh,
has always started them.
368
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,500
I mean, for six years anyway,
you have been
the one that starts
369
00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:42,835
but, look, but that is
water under the fridge.
370
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:46,138
You just... It's not...
The important thing--
371
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:48,207
I've been the one
who has started the fights?
372
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,710
Well, you're the one that
comes two inches from my ear
and says,
373
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:53,012
"What, are you
outta your mind?"
374
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,983
All right, well, well,
I am not the one
375
00:21:57,049 --> 00:22:00,453
with the attention span
of a flea.
376
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,022
Well, I am not the one
that comes up behind you
377
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:06,025
and does this
when you want me
to shut up.
378
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:10,062
Oh, well, I am not the one
who's always saying,
"Oh, go on with you."
379
00:22:11,398 --> 00:22:13,533
Yeah, but you do this.
Ow!
380
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:16,335
Ow!
381
00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:17,437
Actually, I guess...
382
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:18,738
BOTH: We both do this.
383
00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:19,839
BOTH: Ow!
384
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:28,581
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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