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1
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,414
Sometimes the world
looks perfect
2
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,420
Sometimes you just
get a feeling
3
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:22,490
Like you need
some kinda change
4
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,428
No matter what the odds
are this time
5
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,663
Nothing's gonna stand
in my way
6
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:33,467
This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
7
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:37,171
Gives every dark street
a light at the end
8
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:41,842
Standing tall
9
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:45,213
On the wings of my dream
10
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,316
Rise and fall
11
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,785
On the wings of my dream
12
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,421
The rain and thunder
13
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,123
The wind and haze
14
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:58,559
I'm bound for better days
15
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,230
It's my life and my dream
16
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:05,299
And nothing's gonna
stop me now
17
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,203
Oh!
18
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,276
Hello...
19
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,750
Cousin, do you think these
oranges are scratch 'n' sniff?
20
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,388
Will you stop it?
Stop it!
21
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,391
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop it!
22
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,359
You begged me to
let you come
along to this auction
23
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:08,196
and I said you could come
as long as you
obeyed the rules.
24
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,263
Now what are
the rules?
25
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,731
Don't touch anything,
26
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,133
don't say anything,
don't do anything.
27
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,103
Those are the rules.
28
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,572
And a fine set
of rules they are.
29
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,874
Oh, look, cousin,
wind chimes.
30
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:25,646
Will you stop it?
31
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:27,715
Look at all this
stuff, cousin.
32
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,250
They're gonna have to move
some of this out
33
00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:30,884
if they want to
have an auction.
34
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:39,092
All the worldly goods
of the late
Howell Thurston
35
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,762
waiting to be sold.
36
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,832
They're gonna sell
all of his stuff just
because he's late?
37
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,071
That hardly seems fair.
Mmm-hmm.
38
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,473
(GASPS)
Oh!
39
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,908
No, Balki,
he's dead.
40
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,577
Well, if he's dead,
41
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:58,912
there's a very
small chance
he'll ever show up.
42
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,117
Now, cousin,
look at this.
43
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,653
Now I... I like bronze.
Mmm-hmm.
44
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,823
But you know,
with bronze
45
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:10,958
See right there?
46
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,326
(SPITS)
47
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,733
But she has...
She was...
48
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,670
Oh, oh, cousin,
no, no, no, no.
49
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,741
Cousin, not again.
50
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,210
We're nowhere near
any power tools.
51
00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:31,945
Please, listen...
52
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,647
Balki...
53
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,149
Mr. Thurston was
a very rich man
54
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,552
who died without
any relatives
55
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,321
and for some reason
Mr. Wainwright thought
56
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:44,157
that this auction
would make a very
interesting story.
57
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,827
Well, of course,
it would make
an interesting story.
58
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,462
Auctions always do.
59
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,464
You know,
we have auctions
on Mypos.
60
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:54,435
We call them
Toejamiki Tomdicari
Viciversi Oomh Oomh Gari.
61
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:01,842
Toejamiki Tomdicari
Viciversi Oomh
Oomh Gari?
62
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:09,817
Yes, it means,
"One man's socks
are another man's mittens."
63
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,421
Fascinating.
Hmm.
64
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:20,494
Oh, cousin. Cousin, look,
they have refreshments.
65
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:25,098
We better...
We better
get ours now.
66
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,768
(GRUNTS)
No! Stop it! Stop it!
67
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,438
Balki, these are not
refreshments.
68
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,873
This is wine
to be sold.
69
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:37,311
And it's estimated
to be worth
over $20,000!
70
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:40,681
(SCOFFS) You know,
a person would have
to be out of his mind
71
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:44,117
to pay $20,000
for a bottle of wine.
72
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,754
Well, it still makes
more sense
than bottled water.
73
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,059
I mean, that is a concept
I will never understand.
74
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,330
We are about to begin.
75
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,499
Please take your seats.
76
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:01,234
I'd like to help,
but my hands are tied.
77
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,870
(BALKI LAUGHING)
78
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:12,880
The first item
to be auctioned
79
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,582
Get out of the city!
80
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:19,953
We buy our wine at 7-11.
Shut up!
81
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,890
Cousin, I... I was wanting...
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
82
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,158
Or you'll have to wait
in the car.
83
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,494
I'll be good.
84
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:31,432
The minimum bid
on this item is $11,000.
85
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,101
Would anyone care
to open the bidding?
86
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,538
11,000
Do I have 12?
87
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:41,041
$12,000.
Do I hear 13?
88
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,544
Cousin,
why is he pointing
at people?
89
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,813
It's a bit
confrontational,
don't you think?
90
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,982
No, Balki,
those people are bidding.
91
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,351
They are not bidding,
not one of them
92
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,353
has thrown a pig
in the air.
93
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:59,092
No, Balki, bidding here
is a little different
than on Mypos.
94
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,829
These people are bidding
by making small,
little gestures.
95
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,997
Here, watch the man
in the red tie.
96
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,101
AUCTIONEER: 14,500.
Do I have 15?
97
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:13,741
Did you see him bid?
98
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,242
15,000.
99
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,645
Do I have 15,500?
100
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,680
You see,
every little gesture
101
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,149
tells the auctioneer
that you are bidding.
102
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,884
See, the woman
in the blue dress
103
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,487
is bidding by tugging
on her ear, like this.
104
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:27,821
15,500!
105
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,490
Do I have 16?
106
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,593
Yeah, I'm sort of an expert
in this area.
107
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:37,064
I once used
the men's room
at Sotheby's.
108
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,102
AUCTIONEER: 16,000.
Do I have 16,500?
109
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:45,639
There are as many
ways to bid as there
are people in this room.
110
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,441
You could rub
your chin.
111
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,176
You mean like this?
112
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,410
16,500.
113
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,780
Do I have 17? 17?
114
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,548
Or you could
scratch your head.
115
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,817
17,000.
Do I have 18?
116
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,419
Or you could make
a pig nose.
117
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,388
18,000!
118
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,724
Do I have 19?
119
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,358
19?
120
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,695
19,000.
Do I have 20?
121
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,764
That was close.
Why can't I move?
122
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,432
Because when you made
your pig nose
123
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,101
the auctioneer thought
you were bidding.
124
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:17,070
Oh, come on.
Give me
a line of credit.
125
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,308
He thought I was bidding
because I did this?
126
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,477
20,000!
Do I have 21,000?
127
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,078
Don't do that.
Uh, excuse me!
128
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,880
21,000.
129
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,083
Going once,
going twice...
130
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,858
Oh, my Lord!
131
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,800
Cousin, just,
just don't move.
132
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,368
Okay, just hold
on a second.
133
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,904
Hold on. Hold on,
hold on, hold on.
134
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,775
Okay, okay,
now, just be, uh, just...
135
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,110
Cousin, cousin, cousin
136
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,479
Come in and walk
on the pillows, okay?
137
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,781
Walk on the pillows.
138
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,684
Walk on the pillows.
139
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,353
Walk on the what?
Walk on the pillows.
140
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,556
(BOTH GRUNTING)
141
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,695
(PANTING)
142
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:18,231
Balki, be more careful.
143
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,233
Me be more careful?
144
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,603
I'm the one you
made sit on
the hood of the car
145
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,504
waving off
oncoming traffic.
146
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:31,144
I'm sorry,
but I had to
protect the wine.
147
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,814
Well, you could have
slowed down
when I fell off.
148
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,717
I don't want to argue...
Look, cousin...
149
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,386
That always gets you
off the hook.
150
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,954
What we're going
to do now
151
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,057
is just put
the bottle down...
152
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,230
You know what, cousin?
On Mypos what
we do, we...
153
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:53,166
Balki, I usually
don't care what
you do on Mypos.
154
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,070
And today,
I care even less.
155
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,009
Well, I was just
going to say
that on Mypos
156
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,811
we store the bottles
on their sides
157
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,312
so that the cork
don't dry out.
158
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,281
Oh.
159
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,253
We do that here too.
160
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,525
Would you,
would you like
to know
161
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,093
what we do
with the sacred straw?
162
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,228
No.
163
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:32,005
All right. Now, where
is a good place
to keep it?
164
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,176
Cousin! Cousin! Cousin!
165
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,588
(BOTH SIGH)
166
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,792
What's that?
167
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,794
Let's see.
No!
168
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,504
All right.
That's it.
169
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:07,708
We are not letting
this bottle out
of our hands
170
00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,210
until we find
a safe place
to put it.
171
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,380
Oh!
172
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,951
Will you stop it?
173
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,955
Don't do that.
174
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,192
Hey!
Oh!
175
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,397
You know what we can do?
176
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,666
and maybe they'll
have an idea
where we can put it.
177
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,868
Balki, if Jennifer
finds out
178
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,671
I paid $21,000
for a bottle of wine
179
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,873
she will kill me
for being stupid.
180
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,042
If she was going
to kill you
for being stupid
181
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,244
you would have been dead
long ago.
182
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,381
(INAUDIBLE)
183
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,621
What I mean is
we are not going
to tell Jennifer
184
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,256
anything about this.
185
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,525
What we have to do
is find a safe place
186
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,227
to hide the wine
for the weekend.
187
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,429
The auction
is continuing
on Monday.
188
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,432
We will take
the wine back
and resell it.
189
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,369
And you will have
successfully deceived
your wife yet again.
190
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,239
Exactly.
191
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,343
Oh, I've got it!
192
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,611
We'll hide the wine
in the liquor cabinet.
193
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,981
Cousin,
you are a genius!
194
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:22,983
Ooh!
Ooh!
195
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:26,286
Balki! Don't do that!
Cousin, okay.
196
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:31,591
All right, just help me
get the wine over to
the liquor cabinet.
197
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,227
Okay?
Fine. Fine. Okay.
198
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,896
And everything's
going to be
just honki-doriki.
199
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,631
All right,
carefully, carefully.
200
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,334
Okay. All right, I got it.
Okay. And then right there.
201
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,970
Got it. Got it.
Okay? I've got this one.
202
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:46,006
I've got this one.
I've got this one.
203
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,875
And then I... Okay?
Okay. Okay, good.
204
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,477
And then this one right here.
We're doin' fine.
205
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,812
(YELPS)
206
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,581
All right, all right!
No, no, no!
207
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,683
Okay, okay, you walk,
I'll move the pillows, okay?
208
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,986
Okay.
One foot at a time.
209
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,822
Take a step. Take a step.
Okay. All right.
210
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,958
Take, take it easy.
Take it easy.
211
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:07,094
Next foot. Good! Good!
All right. All right.
212
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,629
I got you,
I got you!
213
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,765
Careful! Careful!
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
214
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,400
Next step. You got it.
Okay. Okay.
215
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,335
Okay, okay, fine.
All right, all right.
216
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,838
Oh, oh, oh.
Careful! Careful!
217
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,773
Okay, here we go. All right.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
218
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,942
All right. Move back.
Okay.
219
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,912
Okay.
Okay, all right.
220
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,914
Where's the wine?
221
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,248
Right over there.
222
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,517
It's right here. Here.
No! Oh!
223
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,956
BOTH: Don't do that.
224
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,760
Okay, here, hold this.
Um, all right.
225
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,796
No one ever goes
in the liquor cabinet.
226
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,364
The only thing in here
is an old bottle
227
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,333
of Creme de Menthe
my brother
Billy gave me
228
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,801
for a wedding present.
229
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,402
You know,
this still steams me.
230
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,703
No thought went
into this gift.
231
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,372
(PANTING)
232
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,875
It's the same bottle
I gave him
for his birthday.
233
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:59,379
All right, give me
the wine.
234
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,381
Where's the wine?
Right here.
235
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,616
(GRUNTING)
236
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:07,787
BOTH:
Don't do that.
237
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,990
Not any more.
238
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:15,562
All right, now...
239
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:22,903
We'll just hide the key
right here.
240
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,171
(KEY CLANKS)
241
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,307
It would take a psychic
to find that key.
242
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:31,511
Well, when
he gets here,
243
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,181
of this year's
Mypos Fertilizer
Festival.
244
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,951
Mypos Fertilizer
Festival?
245
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:42,789
Yes, it's next week.
246
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,993
...and, uh, traditionally
the whole island
then plays
247
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,995
Pin The Fly On
The Dungheap.
248
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,201
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
249
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,678
That was a good idea
you had about these raincoats.
250
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,048
You know, we should wear them
every time it rains.
251
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,285
Okay.
252
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,887
Uh, you know,
the boys will be
home soon.
253
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,889
We'd better
get dinner started.
254
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,060
Oh, I hope Balki
likes the beef burgundy dinner
255
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,394
I'm making tonight.
256
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:25,999
Well, you know what they say,
Mary Anne.
257
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,134
I don't know about that.
258
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,535
My uncle had a triple bypass
259
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,537
and they went right
through his chest.
260
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:37,510
Were you ever on a flight
where they lost
cabin pressure?
261
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,314
Oh, lots of times.
262
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,517
Oh, I forgot to get the wine!
263
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,419
We're gonna have to go back
out in the rain.
264
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,355
Oh, maybe not, uh,
Larry's brother, Billy
265
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,623
gave us a bottle of something
for our wedding.
266
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:59,299
Well, that's funny,
the liquor cabinet
is locked
267
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,301
and I have no idea
where the key is.
268
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,711
How did you know
where it was?
269
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,246
I don't know.
270
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,017
Sometimes these things
just come to me.
271
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,356
I also know that someone
named Machdala
272
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,158
is going to be crowned
queen of something
273
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,527
called the Fertilizer
Festival.
274
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:34,968
Ah! We're in luck!
We don't have to go
back out in the rain.
275
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,904
Wow, this wine
is really old!
276
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,639
I hope it's still
good enough
to cook with!
277
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,423
Mmm.
Mmm!
278
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,931
Mary Anne, this is
the best food
I've ever had
279
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,499
without pig parts.
280
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,902
Thank you, Balki.
281
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,538
Balki's right,
it tastes great.
282
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,206
Less filling.
283
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,843
What exactly
is in it?
284
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,279
Oh, it's just beef simmered
in a red wine sauce.
285
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,981
Oh!
Mmm.
286
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,983
We forgot to buy the wine.
287
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:26,286
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
288
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,288
But we looked around
and found some.
289
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,228
(BOTH SCREAMING)
290
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,702
You were right.
Too much pepper.
291
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,207
Cousin, cousin,
cousin, cousin, it's okay.
Everything's okay.
292
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,775
The cabinet
is still locked.
293
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,643
(PANTING)
294
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,713
Larry, why do you
have the liquor
cabinet locked?
295
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,285
and an old
bottle of wine.
296
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,819
You found the wine?
297
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:00,887
BOTH:
They found the wine!
298
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:03,090
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
299
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,625
Mary Anne,
how could you cook
300
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,195
with a bottle of wine
from the liquor cabinet?
301
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,231
This is all
your fault!
302
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:14,101
How could you let me
hide the wine in
the liquor cabinet?
303
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,002
Excuse me,
it was your idea
304
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,338
to hide the wine
in the liquor cabinet!
305
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,674
And it was also your idea
to put the key in the vase!
306
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:24,111
I never should have
let you go to the auction
to begin with.
307
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:28,248
You are nothing
but trouble.
308
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,383
We welcome you
to Munchkinland.
309
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,953
Guys. She didn't cook
with the wine.
310
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:37,590
BOTH: Oh!
311
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,692
We couldn't find a corkscrew
so we went next door
312
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,761
and borrowed some wine
from the Finleys.
313
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:46,065
Why are you acting
so crazy over an
old bottle of wine?
314
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,635
(STAMMERING)
Well, uh, Jen,
it's simple.
315
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:52,372
Uh, went to an auction,
Balki made a pig nose
316
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,108
and I bought
a bottle of wine
for $21,000.
317
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:56,676
(GASPS)
318
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,278
Okay.
319
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:05,051
But I admit
we did something stupid,
320
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:08,155
but everything
is going to be okay.
321
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,123
We did
something stupid?
322
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:20,099
$20,000?
323
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,501
Mmm-hmm.
324
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,908
AUCTIONEER:
$40,000.
325
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,278
Going once,
going twice...
326
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:34,914
Sold for $40,000.
327
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,015
Did you hear
that, Balki?
328
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,784
$40,000
for a necklace.
329
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,219
What a waste of money.
330
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:40,753
Well, you could
say that again.
331
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,322
They could have bought
two bottles
332
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,324
of your wine
for that much money.
333
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,194
Our next item
is this very fine bottle
334
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:50,763
of 1811 Chateau
Lefite Bordeaux.
335
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,534
We are asking an opening bid
of $11,000.
336
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,369
We have got
to get $21,000
337
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,671
for this bottle of wine
or I am a dead man.
338
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,041
Cousin, Jennifer
won't kill you.
339
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:04,244
She'll leave you,
but she won't kill you.
340
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:08,181
I have 11,000.
Do I have 12?
341
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,317
Do I have
$12,000?
342
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,519
12? Do I have 12?
343
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,325
13,000.
Is there 14?
344
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,263
Balki, this isn't going
as well as I thought.
345
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,697
I'm going to
have to do something.
346
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:28,668
14,000.
Is there 15?
347
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:31,338
Cousin, what are
you doing? You're
bidding on the wine?
348
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,939
You already own
the wine!
349
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,475
Balki, there's only one
other person bidding.
350
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,277
I'm just trying to get
the price up to $21,000
351
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,312
so I don't lose
any money.
352
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,180
15,000.
Do I hear 16?
353
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,349
16,000.
354
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,083
17.
Is there 18?
355
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,386
18. 19 anyone?
356
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,288
19. Do I have
twenty thou...
357
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,290
$20,000.
358
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,892
$21,000.
Yes! Yes!
359
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,361
Do I hear 22?
360
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,196
$22,000.
361
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,265
Do I hear 23?
362
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,100
Balki,
what are you doing?
363
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,869
in the excitement
of the moment.
364
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:07,340
Well, don't move.
365
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,576
Do I have 24?
No, no.
366
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,143
The bidding stands
at 23,000.
367
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:16,683
Balki,
he stopped bidding.
368
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:17,750
(GRUNTING)
369
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,488
I have $23,000.
370
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,323
Are there any further bids?
371
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:27,460
What have you done?
372
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,896
I think I can help
your problem.
373
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,564
23,000,
going once.
374
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,733
23,000,
going twice.
375
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,136
24,000!
376
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,272
24,000.
Do I hear 25?
377
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:43,676
Do I hear 25?
378
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,244
Oh, Leo.
379
00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,314
For me.
380
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,115
(CHUCKLES)
Well...
381
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:52,218
Of course, my dear.
24,000.
382
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,721
All right, Balki,
stay very, very still.
383
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:58,825
24,000
going once, going twice...
384
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,960
Sold for $24,000.
385
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:02,862
Yes! Yes!
386
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:08,701
Our next item is this
17th century snuff box.
387
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,170
Cousin, can I move now?
Yes.
388
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,740
Shall we open the bidding
at 32,000?
389
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:17,644
32,000.
33,000!
390
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,112
34, 35...
391
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,681
36,000!
392
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,115
$37,000!
393
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,751
Thirty-eight thous...
394
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:26,218
39,000...
395
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,520
$40,000!
396
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,297
How'd it go, Larry?
397
00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:44,404
Well, we sold the wine
for $24,000.
398
00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:47,540
But you only
paid $21,000.
399
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,742
That means
you made...
400
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,814
...a lot of money!
401
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:01,454
so we really didn't end up
with very much.
402
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:05,458
And Balki saw something
he couldn't live without.
28185
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