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1
00:00:02,249 --> 00:00:05,514
(music) Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:06,687 --> 00:00:09,622
(music) Traveled down the road and back again
3
00:00:10,557 --> 00:00:12,491
(music) Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,559 --> 00:00:16,518
(music) You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,497 --> 00:00:20,694
(music) And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:24,203
(music) Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,906 --> 00:00:29,501
(music) You would see
The biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:29,576 --> 00:00:32,909
(music) And the card attached would say
9
00:00:32,979 --> 00:00:38,440
(music) Thank you for being a friend (music)
10
00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:57,134
- Hi, Ma.
- What the hell are you doin' home?
11
00:00:57,204 --> 00:00:59,331
I thought you had
a beauty appointment.
12
00:00:59,406 --> 00:01:01,340
I did. They finished early.
13
00:01:01,408 --> 00:01:03,672
On Christie Brinkley,
they can finish early.
14
00:01:03,744 --> 00:01:05,735
You need every minute they can spare.
15
00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:09,238
Now get back there.
16
00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:11,940
He's here, isn't he?
17
00:01:12,018 --> 00:01:14,350
- Who?
- Who? Rocco.
18
00:01:14,421 --> 00:01:15,513
Rocco.
19
00:01:15,589 --> 00:01:17,216
Let me refresh your memory.
20
00:01:17,290 --> 00:01:19,952
The man you met in the police lineup.
21
00:01:20,026 --> 00:01:23,018
I was there to identify
the guy who stole my purse.
22
00:01:23,096 --> 00:01:25,155
Rocco was there on a trumped-up charge.
23
00:01:25,232 --> 00:01:27,598
Ma, they caught him on a billboard
24
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:31,330
spray-painting something obscene
on Spuds MacKenzie.
25
00:01:32,639 --> 00:01:36,234
The dog they use in those ads
is really a female.
26
00:01:36,309 --> 00:01:40,040
Rocco was just making Spuds
anatomically correct.
27
00:01:41,715 --> 00:01:44,650
Ma, I'm telling you,
the man is bad news.
28
00:01:44,718 --> 00:01:48,984
He has no job. He gambles.
What kind of future does he have?
29
00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:53,014
Future? Please. He's 85.
The man's got so little time,
30
00:01:53,093 --> 00:01:57,530
he only uses the ten-items-or-less line
at the supermarket.
31
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:02,892
Look who came to say hello, Rocco.
32
00:02:02,969 --> 00:02:04,596
Hello, Dorothy.
33
00:02:04,671 --> 00:02:06,730
Always a pleasure. Nice seeing you.
34
00:02:06,807 --> 00:02:10,265
Cut the crap
and put out the stogie, Rocco.
35
00:02:10,343 --> 00:02:11,674
I like your style.
36
00:02:11,745 --> 00:02:14,714
Right suit, right haircut,
voice a little higher,
37
00:02:14,781 --> 00:02:17,443
you could pass as Frank Nitti.
38
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:19,485
What the hell are you talking about?
39
00:02:19,553 --> 00:02:22,386
A little higher, I think you got it.
40
00:02:22,456 --> 00:02:24,048
You really knew Frank Nitti?
41
00:02:24,124 --> 00:02:27,321
Well, sure. Frank Nitti,
Dutch Schultz, Al Capone.
42
00:02:27,394 --> 00:02:29,760
Are you saying you were in the Mob?
43
00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:32,094
I ran... Detroit.
44
00:02:32,165 --> 00:02:35,657
The marathon.
He ran the Detroit marathon.
45
00:02:37,370 --> 00:02:40,897
Come on, come on.
We're in the middle of a hand.
46
00:02:40,974 --> 00:02:43,067
Four of a kind. Beat that.
47
00:02:43,143 --> 00:02:45,805
Straight flush. Pay me, honey.
48
00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:53,611
- Ma, what are you doing?
- Losing. It's strip poker.
49
00:02:54,955 --> 00:02:58,083
That's it! Game's over.
50
00:02:58,158 --> 00:03:00,626
Who do you think you are? Donald
Trump?
51
00:03:00,694 --> 00:03:03,527
You don't own this casino.
52
00:03:03,597 --> 00:03:05,656
She's always telling me what to do.
53
00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:07,791
My daughter treats me the same way.
54
00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:12,567
Kids. Once they're over 50,
they think they know everything.
55
00:03:15,675 --> 00:03:19,338
I cannot believe my mother
is hanging with that cheap hood.
56
00:03:19,412 --> 00:03:23,075
- You mean Rocco?
- No, Rose. I mean Spiro Agnew.
57
00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:27,409
He gave her a highway contract
instead of an ID bracelet.
58
00:03:28,121 --> 00:03:31,613
- Of course I mean Rocco!
- I think he's kinda cute.
59
00:03:31,691 --> 00:03:34,854
He is not cute. He is a bad influence.
60
00:03:34,928 --> 00:03:39,661
Since Ma started seeing him, she's on
the phone all day, stays up all night.
61
00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:42,793
Yesterday, she came home
with NyQuil on her breath
62
00:03:42,869 --> 00:03:46,862
and his surgical stockings
in her pocket.
63
00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:54,370
Dorothy, can I ask you something?
64
00:03:54,447 --> 00:03:58,178
I don't know what it means.
I just don't like the possibilities.
65
00:03:58,251 --> 00:03:59,809
No. I wanted to ask,
66
00:03:59,886 --> 00:04:03,049
do you think Blanche
has been picking on me lately?
67
00:04:03,123 --> 00:04:04,249
I haven't noticed.
68
00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:06,883
Hi, Blanche.
69
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,554
Must you always be so cheerful,
70
00:04:09,629 --> 00:04:13,121
you empty-headed Mary Poppins
knockoff?
71
00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:20,972
Let me know if you notice anything.
72
00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:25,301
Blanche, what's with you and Rose?
73
00:04:25,378 --> 00:04:26,970
I'll tell you what. This.
74
00:04:27,047 --> 00:04:29,379
- What is it?
- Rose's diary.
75
00:04:29,449 --> 00:04:33,385
- What are you doing with it?
- It was lying on the table.
76
00:04:33,453 --> 00:04:37,787
I picked it up, and the lock
just popped open just... like this.
77
00:04:40,827 --> 00:04:44,456
Listen to this: "Dear Diary,
I don't know how much longer
78
00:04:44,531 --> 00:04:48,023
"I can stand living with these two pigs.
79
00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:54,367
"Moving in with them
seemed like a good way
80
00:04:54,441 --> 00:04:57,069
"to save money,
but it's getting out of hand.
81
00:04:57,143 --> 00:04:59,839
"If one isn't keeping me
awake with her squealing,
82
00:04:59,913 --> 00:05:02,347
the other one is belching in my face."
83
00:05:06,152 --> 00:05:08,848
You do that sometimes, Dorothy.
84
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:14,559
After you've had a Denver omelette.
85
00:05:15,629 --> 00:05:19,429
Now, you know this is
a real invasion of Rose's privacy.
86
00:05:19,499 --> 00:05:21,899
And it's a Spanish omelette.
87
00:05:22,802 --> 00:05:26,795
- Doesn't it bother you?
- Not if I take a little Gelusil.
88
00:05:26,873 --> 00:05:30,468
Oh, the diary.
No! No! Not at all.
89
00:05:30,543 --> 00:05:33,307
And I'm really shocked that you read it.
90
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:37,214
You're not interested to hear
other things she had to say?
91
00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:39,342
- Not in the slightest.
- Uh-huh.
92
00:05:39,419 --> 00:05:42,115
Well, fine. Suit yourself.
93
00:05:58,805 --> 00:06:00,796
[Coughing]
94
00:06:10,316 --> 00:06:12,682
Use the knife.
95
00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:25,020
Blanche, what are you doing?
96
00:06:25,098 --> 00:06:28,431
I thought we agreed
we weren't gonna read any more.
97
00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:32,130
That was only because
we couldn't pry the lock off again.
98
00:06:32,205 --> 00:06:36,107
And then I remembered we had
these pliers in the tool drawer.
99
00:06:36,176 --> 00:06:37,165
[Door opens]
100
00:06:37,243 --> 00:06:40,076
Gangway. Old people comin' through.
101
00:06:43,883 --> 00:06:46,317
Ma, what is all this stuff here?
102
00:06:46,386 --> 00:06:48,684
This isn't stuff. This is my life.
103
00:06:48,755 --> 00:06:51,883
Why are you bringin' your life
into our livin' room?
104
00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:54,449
There have been robberies
at Rocco's building.
105
00:06:54,527 --> 00:06:58,759
- He asked me to store his valuables.
- We don't have enough space.
106
00:06:58,832 --> 00:07:02,427
I have plenty of space in my room.
Come on, Rocco.
107
00:07:02,502 --> 00:07:07,337
When you go in there,
I want you to leave the door open.
108
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:11,003
Yes, Mrs. Cleaver.
109
00:07:14,481 --> 00:07:15,709
Hi, girls.
110
00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:19,507
Gee, what's my diary doing here...
111
00:07:19,586 --> 00:07:21,918
next to a pair of pliers?
112
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:28,556
Whatever it is you're thinkin',
it isn't true.
113
00:07:29,129 --> 00:07:32,792
Good. Then George Bush
isn't married to his mother.
114
00:07:39,906 --> 00:07:42,500
Boy, that was easier than I thought.
115
00:07:43,576 --> 00:07:46,511
This lock has been tampered with.
116
00:07:47,514 --> 00:07:50,347
You two read my diary, didn't you?
117
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:52,680
[Gasps] That's despicable.
118
00:07:52,752 --> 00:07:55,186
I will tell you
what is despicable, missy.
119
00:07:55,255 --> 00:07:57,052
Some of the things you wrote.
120
00:07:57,123 --> 00:07:59,921
This is my book for my eyes.
121
00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:02,587
You have no right to invade my privacy.
122
00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:04,596
Rose, you said some terrible things.
123
00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:06,291
I thought we were friends.
124
00:08:06,366 --> 00:08:08,027
We used to be.
125
00:08:08,101 --> 00:08:10,433
We're not anymore.
126
00:08:13,306 --> 00:08:14,796
[Door slams]
127
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:26,644
- What's wrong?
- I have a problem.
128
00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:29,685
I'll say.
129
00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:35,284
You should never have
stopped using that depilatory.
130
00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:39,057
Ma, I'm up here.
131
00:08:43,069 --> 00:08:44,161
Oh.
132
00:08:44,237 --> 00:08:46,728
Ma, Rose isn't talking to me.
133
00:08:46,806 --> 00:08:50,071
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Now, good night.
134
00:08:50,577 --> 00:08:53,045
Honey... Hi, Dorothy.
Can I talk to you?
135
00:08:53,112 --> 00:08:54,170
No. Go away.
136
00:08:54,247 --> 00:08:55,737
But I can't sleep.
137
00:08:55,815 --> 00:08:58,283
It's because Rose isn't talkin' to me.
138
00:08:58,351 --> 00:09:00,478
I could care less. Get out.
139
00:09:00,553 --> 00:09:02,953
- [Knocking]
- [Rose] Sophia?
140
00:09:03,022 --> 00:09:06,583
I'm not in. Wait for the beep.
Then leave a message.
141
00:09:08,761 --> 00:09:10,092
Beep.
142
00:09:10,163 --> 00:09:12,154
Hi. This is Rose. I...
143
00:09:16,202 --> 00:09:18,534
Rose, shut up and get in here.
144
00:09:20,073 --> 00:09:23,668
Oh. I see you're with two
double-crossing ex-friends.
145
00:09:23,743 --> 00:09:25,210
I'll come back later.
146
00:09:25,278 --> 00:09:29,476
What do you think this is,
the 7-Eleven? I'm not open all night.
147
00:09:29,549 --> 00:09:32,677
- Rose, we feel terrible.
- What have you done?
148
00:09:32,752 --> 00:09:35,016
- We're really very sorry.
- Sorry about what?
149
00:09:35,088 --> 00:09:38,455
- How can I ever trust you again?
- Trust who?
150
00:09:38,524 --> 00:09:42,426
Let's not talk about trust
after the terrible things you wrote.
151
00:09:42,495 --> 00:09:46,488
- Will someone please tell me?
- Blanche and I read Rose's diary.
152
00:09:46,566 --> 00:09:49,296
And she wrote
some terrible things about us.
153
00:09:49,369 --> 00:09:51,997
About you?
I didn't write anything about you.
154
00:09:52,071 --> 00:09:55,336
I didn't even know you
when I kept that diary.
155
00:09:55,408 --> 00:09:56,807
What are you talking about?
156
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,969
That was my 4-H diary.
157
00:09:59,045 --> 00:10:03,573
I kept it one summer when I raised
two pigs for the county fair.
158
00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:12,785
You kept a diary about raising two pigs?
159
00:10:12,859 --> 00:10:16,852
You know another way to get
a 4-H pig diary badge?
160
00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:23,267
Oh, my God! There's been
a terrible misunderstanding.
161
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:25,964
What do you say
we forget the whole thing?
162
00:10:26,039 --> 00:10:28,303
No way. I'm really mad.
163
00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:30,638
It's late, I'm tired, so listen up.
164
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,644
You gonna tell us a story?
165
00:10:32,712 --> 00:10:36,307
No. Shadow puppets. See?
An elephant eating a peanut.
166
00:10:36,382 --> 00:10:37,713
Happy?
167
00:10:38,985 --> 00:10:42,045
Of course I'm gonna tell a story.
168
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:45,386
Picture it: Morocco, the '30s.
169
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:46,925
The 1930s?
170
00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:50,326
No, 30 degrees.
Do I look like Willard Scott?
171
00:10:52,031 --> 00:10:54,295
Of course the 1930s.
172
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,995
Three close friends
are haggling over a Camel.
173
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,094
How many humps?
174
00:11:00,039 --> 00:11:03,600
None! I'm talkin' about a cigarette.
It was the last one.
175
00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:04,768
Well, anyway...
176
00:11:04,844 --> 00:11:07,574
What does this have
to do with the diary?
177
00:11:07,647 --> 00:11:12,209
Suddenly I'm on Nightline.
I was just tryin' to tell a story.
178
00:11:12,285 --> 00:11:16,278
There's no point, Sophia.
I'll never be able to forgive them.
179
00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:18,221
Isn't there anything we can do?
180
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:20,657
No. Absolutely not.
I'm unyielding on this.
181
00:11:20,727 --> 00:11:23,992
Can't you think of anything
that'll make us be friends?
182
00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:26,361
No. This time, you've crossed the line.
183
00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:29,799
If I can't trust you,
then we can't be friends.
184
00:11:29,869 --> 00:11:32,702
The relationship is over. Good-bye.
185
00:11:35,441 --> 00:11:36,874
[Sighs]
186
00:11:38,211 --> 00:11:42,443
I got out in the hall,
and I missed you guys already.
187
00:11:42,515 --> 00:11:44,244
Please, let's be friends.
188
00:11:44,317 --> 00:11:46,114
- Oh.
- Oh.
189
00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:47,948
Oh, I love you guys.
190
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:50,114
Great. Now get out.
191
00:11:50,189 --> 00:11:52,282
Oh, let's not fight anymore.
192
00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:54,451
Fine! Get out!
193
00:11:54,527 --> 00:11:56,256
The best friends I've ever had.
194
00:11:56,329 --> 00:11:58,661
I said get out!
195
00:11:58,731 --> 00:12:00,164
[Gasps]
196
00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:01,928
Look at all that money!
197
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,866
Gosh, there's thousands.
198
00:12:03,936 --> 00:12:05,597
Where did this come from?
199
00:12:05,671 --> 00:12:06,797
Rocco's bag.
200
00:12:06,873 --> 00:12:09,068
Where did Rocco get all this money?
201
00:12:09,142 --> 00:12:12,669
I don't know, but the next time
we go to the Colonel,
202
00:12:12,745 --> 00:12:15,407
I'm getting all white meat and a
biscuit.
203
00:12:18,284 --> 00:12:22,243
I do not believe this.
There are thousands here.
204
00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:25,916
Ma, how could Rocco
have this much money?
205
00:12:25,992 --> 00:12:27,926
I'm as confused as you.
206
00:12:27,994 --> 00:12:31,020
He had that satchel
when he went to the bank.
207
00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:34,066
Sophia, maybe you better tell us
exactly what happened.
208
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:38,126
When we got to the bank,
he told me to keep the motor running.
209
00:12:38,204 --> 00:12:40,138
Five minutes later, he ran out.
210
00:12:40,206 --> 00:12:42,834
Did you think of asking
why he was running?
211
00:12:42,909 --> 00:12:46,902
No. The man is taking diuretics
for a prostate problem.
212
00:12:48,381 --> 00:12:51,145
His whole life is a 50-yard dash.
213
00:12:52,218 --> 00:12:55,153
Ma, he robbed a bank.
I'm calling the police.
214
00:12:55,221 --> 00:12:59,157
No. Wait. He didn't rob that bank.
I know Rocco.
215
00:12:59,225 --> 00:13:02,922
He's a good man.
A decent man. An honest man.
216
00:13:02,995 --> 00:13:05,555
And not a bad kisser.
217
00:13:05,631 --> 00:13:07,428
How do you explain this money?
218
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,367
Are you a treasury agent?
It's circumstantial evidence.
219
00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:13,129
[Phone rings]
220
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,702
Hello? Rocco, we were
talking about you.
221
00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:19,210
A funny thing just happened.
222
00:13:19,278 --> 00:13:21,678
We found thousands of dollars
in your bag,
223
00:13:21,747 --> 00:13:25,706
and we were kinda wondering
where it came from.
224
00:13:25,785 --> 00:13:28,117
Uh-huh.
225
00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:29,984
Uh-huh.
226
00:13:30,056 --> 00:13:35,323
Oh, well, right. That clears it all up.
See you later, then.
227
00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:38,820
He robbed the bank. Anybody hungry?
228
00:13:52,011 --> 00:13:56,345
You're not calling the police?
The man told you he robbed a bank!
229
00:13:56,415 --> 00:14:01,375
He also told me he had a good reason.
He did it for love.
230
00:14:02,755 --> 00:14:07,419
Gee. The most any man ever did
for me was getting all his sheep
231
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:11,486
to lie down in a field
and spell out my name.
232
00:14:16,536 --> 00:14:18,026
Ma, call the police.
233
00:14:18,104 --> 00:14:21,130
No. Rocco needs to talk to me.
He's coming over.
234
00:14:21,207 --> 00:14:22,834
Fine. I'll call the police.
235
00:14:22,909 --> 00:14:24,706
I'll never speak to you again.
236
00:14:24,777 --> 00:14:28,474
But, Sophia, Rocco did admit
he robbed a bank.
237
00:14:28,548 --> 00:14:29,981
It's my fault.
238
00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:31,880
He thought he could keep me
239
00:14:31,951 --> 00:14:34,886
if he had money
to buy me expensive things.
240
00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:37,582
I gotta convince him to turn himself in.
241
00:14:37,657 --> 00:14:40,649
If he doesn't,
I'll go to the police myself.
242
00:14:43,362 --> 00:14:47,128
It's the last time I let a man
toy with my affections.
243
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,327
From now on, it's strictly physical.
244
00:14:59,879 --> 00:15:02,143
Well, I've never been fond of Rocco,
245
00:15:02,215 --> 00:15:05,742
but it's obvious that
he really cares about my mother.
246
00:15:05,818 --> 00:15:09,151
Boy, one thing's for sure,
that Rocco is a romantic,
247
00:15:09,222 --> 00:15:11,816
and there aren't many men like him left.
248
00:15:11,891 --> 00:15:13,085
Blanche,
249
00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:17,027
what was the most romantic thing
a man ever did for you?
250
00:15:17,096 --> 00:15:18,791
Oh, that's easy.
251
00:15:19,966 --> 00:15:21,957
When George and I were courting
252
00:15:22,034 --> 00:15:24,468
and it was getting to the intimate
stage,
253
00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:27,631
we went for a date
in his big old Packard.
254
00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:29,800
Halfway home, we ran outta gas.
255
00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:32,901
[Giggles] It was dark, it was cold.
256
00:15:32,979 --> 00:15:35,072
So we held each other close.
257
00:15:35,147 --> 00:15:39,174
Both of us knew, right then
and there, this was the night.
258
00:15:39,252 --> 00:15:42,585
Sure enough, pretty soon
the windows were all fogged up
259
00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:46,318
from the heat generated by our bodies.
260
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,652
After we were married,
I told George that the only thing
261
00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:54,291
that could've made
that evening more romantic was
262
00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:58,303
if we'd had candles and wine
and a big blanket.
263
00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:01,238
[Sighs] So, on our tenth anniversary,
264
00:16:01,307 --> 00:16:04,208
George fired up the old Packard,
265
00:16:04,277 --> 00:16:09,112
and we drove along the same route,
and we ran out of gas
266
00:16:09,181 --> 00:16:12,480
on exactly the same spot.
267
00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:16,385
George said, "Blanche,
why don't you look behind that tree?"
268
00:16:16,455 --> 00:16:19,424
So I did, and there was a basket
269
00:16:19,492 --> 00:16:22,256
- [Rose gasps]
- With candles and wine
270
00:16:22,328 --> 00:16:24,728
and two long-stem glasses and...
271
00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:26,788
a big blanket.
272
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:30,935
- We had a perfect evening.
- [Dorothy] Oh.
273
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:34,632
Oh, that is... beautiful, Blanche.
274
00:16:35,374 --> 00:16:39,538
Isn't it a shame you didn't look
behind the tree the first time?
275
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,989
What's the most romantic thing
a man did for you, Dorothy?
276
00:16:58,064 --> 00:17:00,931
Oh, well, the... most romantic thing
277
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,265
was when Stan proposed.
278
00:17:04,337 --> 00:17:07,306
He took me to
a very expensive restaurant, and...
279
00:17:07,373 --> 00:17:10,672
I went to the powder room,
and when I returned,
280
00:17:10,743 --> 00:17:13,974
there was an open bottle of Dom Perignon
281
00:17:14,046 --> 00:17:16,913
and two filled glasses.
282
00:17:16,982 --> 00:17:20,941
And we clinked the glasses
in a toast, and...
283
00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:24,649
Stan gave me a coy smile,
and I winked at him,
284
00:17:24,724 --> 00:17:28,717
and then I just downed
the champagne in one gulp.
285
00:17:30,062 --> 00:17:32,895
And it didn't go down smoothly.
286
00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,868
Later, Stan told me that
287
00:17:39,004 --> 00:17:42,496
he put my engagement ring
in the bottom of the glass.
288
00:17:42,575 --> 00:17:44,406
Aw.
289
00:17:44,477 --> 00:17:46,308
Aw.
290
00:17:48,881 --> 00:17:51,372
It turned up three days later.
291
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,791
Where'd it turn up, Dorothy?
292
00:18:13,739 --> 00:18:16,230
On the Home Shopping Network, Rose.
293
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,871
But, Dorothy, you have to admit,
294
00:18:22,948 --> 00:18:26,111
it was very touching
what Rocco did for Sophia.
295
00:18:26,185 --> 00:18:28,915
If it hadn't been a felony.
296
00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:31,149
Still, it goes to show you,
297
00:18:31,223 --> 00:18:34,522
hair may turn gray,
your skin may wrinkle,
298
00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:37,187
but you're never too old for romance.
299
00:18:39,732 --> 00:18:41,723
So, don't give up, girls.
300
00:18:55,181 --> 00:18:56,375
Ssst!
301
00:18:57,917 --> 00:18:59,748
Rocco.
302
00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:03,986
[Grunting]
303
00:19:10,396 --> 00:19:13,991
Sophia... I came to get ya.
304
00:19:14,066 --> 00:19:16,830
Forget it. You kissed
this pleasure palace good-bye
305
00:19:16,902 --> 00:19:18,494
when you stole that money.
306
00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:22,564
Come on. I've got a brand-new
Harley-Davidson in the driveway.
307
00:19:22,641 --> 00:19:24,768
I didn't know
you could ride a motorcycle.
308
00:19:24,844 --> 00:19:28,405
Can't. I pushed it all the way here
from the dealership.
309
00:19:29,148 --> 00:19:32,242
I'm exhausted.
We're gonna have to take a cab.
310
00:19:32,318 --> 00:19:35,344
Hold your horses.
We got something to talk about.
311
00:19:35,421 --> 00:19:37,685
First, how did you rob that bank?
312
00:19:37,756 --> 00:19:41,192
Aahhh. It was a magnificent heist.
313
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,728
I moved with catlike precision.
314
00:19:43,796 --> 00:19:46,026
Rocco, you're in big trouble.
315
00:19:46,098 --> 00:19:48,396
By tomorrow,
we'll be south of the border,
316
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:50,935
sparkling skies above us,
317
00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:53,904
tropical breezes
blowing across our bodies.
318
00:19:55,274 --> 00:19:58,368
Sophia, you with me?
319
00:20:01,881 --> 00:20:03,712
No.
320
00:20:03,782 --> 00:20:05,807
Sophia, I'm disappointed.
321
00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:08,547
Not half as disappointed as I am.
322
00:20:08,621 --> 00:20:12,284
I admit, at times, your stories
about being a big-shot gangster
323
00:20:12,358 --> 00:20:14,451
seemed colorful to me,
324
00:20:14,527 --> 00:20:18,725
but I figured you
weren't that guy anymore.
325
00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:21,789
And if you are, you're not for me.
326
00:20:23,702 --> 00:20:26,535
I wish you'd have told me that before.
327
00:20:26,605 --> 00:20:29,733
Sophia, I have some confessions
to make to you.
328
00:20:30,476 --> 00:20:34,913
I was never a big-shot gangster.
I was never a big-shot nothin'.
329
00:20:35,714 --> 00:20:37,875
All I was was an assistant cook
330
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:40,384
at... chowder house
in Bayonne, New Jersey.
331
00:20:40,452 --> 00:20:43,717
Not the kind of fella
you're used to goin' with.
332
00:20:44,456 --> 00:20:48,392
I didn't wanna lose ya.
That's why I made up the bank robbery.
333
00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:52,021
$45,000 was my life savings.
334
00:20:52,097 --> 00:20:54,861
I thought with that money I could...
335
00:20:54,934 --> 00:20:57,801
I could treat you
like you oughta be treated.
336
00:20:59,171 --> 00:21:00,729
Like a queen.
337
00:21:01,607 --> 00:21:03,438
I can't believe this.
338
00:21:04,677 --> 00:21:07,407
I can't believe it either. There's a
gate.
339
00:21:09,615 --> 00:21:13,346
I could've got a hernia
comin' over the wall!
340
00:21:13,419 --> 00:21:17,515
Wait. I've messed everything up.
I'll just get out of your life.
341
00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:22,186
What I can't believe
is that you went through all this.
342
00:21:22,261 --> 00:21:25,059
Rocco, you always treat me like a queen.
343
00:21:26,432 --> 00:21:27,592
Come here.
344
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:41,871
Okay, Blanche. You landed on sports.
Here's the question.
345
00:21:41,947 --> 00:21:45,212
"What famous football player
wore panty hose..."
346
00:21:45,284 --> 00:21:48,583
Doug Curloff,
Tampa Bay Bucs, New Year's Eve.
347
00:21:48,654 --> 00:21:52,317
We were at the Holiday Inn
near the airport.
348
00:21:54,493 --> 00:21:55,983
The complete question is,
349
00:21:56,061 --> 00:21:58,791
"...wore panty hose
in a magazine advertisement?"
350
00:21:58,864 --> 00:22:00,764
How the hell would I know?
351
00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:05,327
To see a man in panty hose,
I don't have to buy a magazine.
352
00:22:05,404 --> 00:22:08,066
Joe Namath. Your turn, Rose.
353
00:22:12,811 --> 00:22:14,904
Okay, music history. Here goes.
354
00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:17,505
"What famous Mozart composition,
355
00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:20,984
"completed in 1787, is a serenade in G
356
00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:23,613
"for two violins, viola, cello,
357
00:22:23,689 --> 00:22:26,556
and double bass in four movements?"
358
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:28,923
Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
359
00:22:34,867 --> 00:22:37,131
That's right. How did you know that?
360
00:22:37,202 --> 00:22:39,534
They always play it during the chases
361
00:22:39,605 --> 00:22:42,574
on The Bugs Bunny-Roadrunner Show.
362
00:22:42,641 --> 00:22:44,108
Oh. There was...
363
00:22:44,176 --> 00:22:47,441
There was this one
where Elmer Fudd was chasing Bugs,
364
00:22:47,513 --> 00:22:51,449
and he stuck his gun down a hole
that Bugs had painted...
365
00:22:51,517 --> 00:22:55,647
Excuse me, Rose.
Blanche, could I see the rule book?
366
00:22:55,721 --> 00:22:57,712
- Thank you.
- Ah!
367
00:23:03,595 --> 00:23:07,691
What say we call it a night?
Ready to go to bed, Dorothy?
368
00:23:07,766 --> 00:23:10,030
No. I'm gonna wait up for Ma.
369
00:23:10,102 --> 00:23:11,364
She's out with Rocco.
370
00:23:11,437 --> 00:23:15,066
Oh, Dorothy, Sophia'll be fine.
She's a grown woman.
371
00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:17,267
You can't wait up every night.
372
00:23:17,342 --> 00:23:21,403
You're right. She's capable
of taking care of herself.
373
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,471
[Phone rings]
374
00:23:24,917 --> 00:23:27,283
Hello? Ma!
375
00:23:27,352 --> 00:23:29,843
Do you know what time it is?
376
00:23:29,922 --> 00:23:33,016
You're what? Oh, the hell you are!
377
00:23:33,092 --> 00:23:36,118
Listen, you are not
spending the night at Rocco's.
378
00:23:37,629 --> 00:23:40,564
Look. As long as you live
under our roof,
379
00:23:40,632 --> 00:23:43,123
you will abide by our rules!
380
00:23:46,739 --> 00:23:48,764
I should do what to myself?
381
00:23:49,808 --> 00:23:52,470
What? Hello? Hel...
382
00:23:56,715 --> 00:23:59,445
Dorothy, is...
Is your mother all right?
383
00:23:59,518 --> 00:24:02,681
Oh, fine. She does something wrong,
suddenly she's my mother.
29497
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