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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,213 Terrific! 2 00:00:34,630 --> 00:00:37,338 So I put my finger here, and check this... 3 00:00:37,713 --> 00:00:40,088 the watch tells me I have a heart problem. 4 00:00:40,171 --> 00:00:42,088 Wouldn't a mirror tell you the same thing? 5 00:00:42,171 --> 00:00:44,213 Yeah, but this has weather, too. 6 00:00:44,296 --> 00:00:45,130 Okay. 7 00:00:45,505 --> 00:00:47,838 We got an hour until we're meeting the ladies for dinner. 8 00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:49,130 - Yeah. - You wanna catch a beer? 9 00:00:49,213 --> 00:00:51,088 I can't. I gotta run a few errands. 10 00:00:51,171 --> 00:00:53,588 What? You don't want a beer? What's wrong? 11 00:00:53,671 --> 00:00:54,630 I... 12 00:00:54,963 --> 00:00:57,671 got the results back from the detective exam. 13 00:00:57,755 --> 00:01:00,755 You failed again? This is why I never took that test. 14 00:01:00,838 --> 00:01:02,963 All the anxiety and disappointment. 15 00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:05,755 At some point, you have to realize you have hit your ceiling 16 00:01:05,838 --> 00:01:07,005 and just give up. 17 00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:09,088 You know, you should go around and speak at schools. 18 00:01:09,171 --> 00:01:11,963 - That was very inspiring. - I should. Kids need to hear this shit. 19 00:01:12,046 --> 00:01:13,046 I don't get it, man. 20 00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,963 I know all the answers, I just freeze under pressure. 21 00:01:16,046 --> 00:01:18,505 You know, I can't take the exam for, like, three more months, 22 00:01:18,588 --> 00:01:20,213 so I gotta continue lying to Audrey. 23 00:01:20,296 --> 00:01:22,005 So when we're at dinner tonight, please, 24 00:01:22,088 --> 00:01:23,463 - tell your wi-- - Ah! No. 25 00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:25,921 Come on, man. You know I'll lie for you anytime. 26 00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:28,046 I will cover up dead bodies for you. 27 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:32,255 But if I ask Holly to lie to your wife, there's no way we're messing around. 28 00:01:32,338 --> 00:01:33,421 It's Freaky Friday! 29 00:01:33,505 --> 00:01:36,463 You don't have to lie, just tell her to ignore when I'm lying. 30 00:01:36,546 --> 00:01:37,546 That's it. 31 00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,630 - Okay, fine. - Thank you. 32 00:01:39,713 --> 00:01:41,088 You owe me. 33 00:01:41,171 --> 00:01:42,005 See you tonight. 34 00:01:45,296 --> 00:01:47,421 I gotta get Claritin. Claritin. 35 00:01:47,505 --> 00:01:49,213 Oh, my God! Look! 36 00:01:49,921 --> 00:01:51,505 He took her in a helicopter? 37 00:01:51,796 --> 00:01:53,880 My husband won't even pay for Uber Black. 38 00:01:53,963 --> 00:01:57,505 Yeah. I don't even-- I can't even remember the last time 39 00:01:57,588 --> 00:02:01,213 that Nick did anything even remotely romantic. 40 00:02:01,463 --> 00:02:04,505 I mean, he used to leave me, like, cute little mixtapes, 41 00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:06,671 little love notes in the bathroom. 42 00:02:06,755 --> 00:02:07,963 Love notes are dead. 43 00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:09,380 When my husband wants to have sex, 44 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,338 he just texts me the eggplant and doughnut emoji. 45 00:02:11,671 --> 00:02:13,171 Eggplant and doughnut-- 46 00:02:14,088 --> 00:02:15,588 Oh. He's the eggplant. 47 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,838 More like a fingerling potato. 48 00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:19,255 It doesn't take that much. 49 00:02:19,338 --> 00:02:21,713 There are guys at the intersection selling flowers. 50 00:02:21,796 --> 00:02:24,255 You just roll down the window, grab a bunch, bring 'em home. 51 00:02:24,338 --> 00:02:27,171 - I mean, they couldn't make it any easier. - No kidding. 52 00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:29,630 I mean, tomorrow is our 15th wedding anniversary. 53 00:02:30,171 --> 00:02:33,338 I'm still waiting on that trip to Europe he promised me on our wedding day. 54 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,255 - That's been 15 years? - Yeah. 55 00:02:35,338 --> 00:02:37,296 I could have walked to Europe by now. 56 00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:38,921 You know, you just have to tell him. 57 00:02:39,005 --> 00:02:42,796 I just don't want to have to tell him. I just want him to know. 58 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,588 - No, they never just know. - I know. 59 00:02:44,671 --> 00:02:46,755 - That doesn't happen. - You have to tell men everything. 60 00:02:46,838 --> 00:02:49,171 If you want the dishes to not go in the sink, you have to tell them. 61 00:02:49,255 --> 00:02:51,171 If you want him to shower before he comes to bed, 62 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,505 - you have to ask him. - Ugh. 63 00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,963 That's why they have those signs in bathrooms at restaurants 64 00:02:55,046 --> 00:02:57,046 to tell employees to wash their hands. 65 00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,296 Those aren't for women, guys. Those are for men. 66 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,380 Or maybe you could just text him, airplane, wine glass, 67 00:03:02,463 --> 00:03:05,380 Italian flag, eggplant, doughnut, doughnut, doughnut. 68 00:03:24,921 --> 00:03:26,005 Let's go with the 50. 69 00:03:31,213 --> 00:03:32,296 Claritin... 70 00:03:40,213 --> 00:03:41,088 Hi, welcome. 71 00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:42,713 Thank you. 72 00:03:42,838 --> 00:03:44,421 Thanks a lot. 73 00:03:44,505 --> 00:03:47,046 Are you gonna tell 'em about the stuff in your backpack? 74 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,296 Mind your own business, man. I'm paying for this. 75 00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,713 I like your sneakers. They must be expensive. 76 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,963 Is that why can't afford the Monster Energy Drink 77 00:03:54,046 --> 00:03:55,546 or the Flamin' Hot Cheetos? 78 00:03:56,796 --> 00:03:59,046 - Hang on. Hang on. - Hey, let go of me, man. 79 00:04:01,088 --> 00:04:02,421 I can't believe I was right. 80 00:04:03,088 --> 00:04:05,463 Keep your mouth shut. I'll mess you up, old man. 81 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,005 Old man. Oh, my God. 82 00:04:07,088 --> 00:04:08,171 First of all, 83 00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:11,630 I should throw you in jail just for calling me "old man," 84 00:04:11,713 --> 00:04:13,713 but you bring that stuff back, 85 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:17,005 I'll let you go 'cause I'm late for dinner and I'm hungry as shit. 86 00:04:17,296 --> 00:04:18,171 Go ahead. 87 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,296 - Tylenol PM? Am I right? - No. 88 00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:26,171 It's not good for that. It depends on what time of year you go. 89 00:04:26,255 --> 00:04:28,005 That makes sense. Can I get another? 90 00:04:28,296 --> 00:04:29,755 We're gonna have another one? 91 00:04:29,838 --> 00:04:33,463 I'm just saying, we're paying today. Maybe you can take it easy a little bit. 92 00:04:33,546 --> 00:04:36,046 Hey, hey. Nick. Nick. What-- What's wrong with you? 93 00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:38,796 Sorry. Should I not order another drink, Detective? 94 00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:40,755 No. Holly, order another drink. 95 00:04:40,838 --> 00:04:43,130 Order as much as you want. I was joking around. 96 00:04:43,213 --> 00:04:44,421 - That's not funny. - The reason-- 97 00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:47,255 I'm just in a great mood because I had a great day today. 98 00:04:47,338 --> 00:04:50,130 - Did we have a great day or what? - It was a fabulous day. Incredible day. 99 00:04:50,213 --> 00:04:52,380 Really? Did you get another hot case? 100 00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:53,588 Of what? 101 00:04:53,671 --> 00:04:55,296 "What." 102 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,796 That was good. No, listen. 103 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,463 Going great, kid. I promise you. 104 00:04:58,546 --> 00:05:00,921 It's like, uh, they're trusting me more and more, 105 00:05:01,005 --> 00:05:03,213 and I, um, I wish I could tell you what it was, 106 00:05:03,296 --> 00:05:04,546 but it's-- it's confidential. 107 00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,421 - Wait a second. - What? 108 00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:07,630 Oh, my God. 109 00:05:07,713 --> 00:05:09,588 - What is this? - What is that? 110 00:05:09,671 --> 00:05:12,421 My baby Jimmy got it for me for my birthday. 111 00:05:12,505 --> 00:05:13,338 - Jimmy! - What? 112 00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:16,130 - Celebration diamonds. - Oh, my gosh. 113 00:05:16,213 --> 00:05:17,838 - It's gorgeous! - Thank you, Audrey. 114 00:05:17,921 --> 00:05:19,380 - Very expensive. - Wow, Jimmy. 115 00:05:19,921 --> 00:05:22,880 I got you something special. I promise, you're gonna be very happy. 116 00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:24,255 - Really? - I can't wait. 117 00:05:24,338 --> 00:05:27,671 See, I would've pegged you, Nick, as an Amazon gift card kinda guy, 118 00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:29,630 but... I'm no detective. 119 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:32,755 Hey! You know what, guys? 120 00:05:32,838 --> 00:05:36,546 Let's toast to my friends, Nick and Audrey. 121 00:05:36,630 --> 00:05:37,963 Fifteen wonderful years. 122 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,046 Absolutely. 123 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,338 - Fifteen. - Here's to true love, guys. 124 00:05:41,421 --> 00:05:42,255 Fifteen. 125 00:05:42,338 --> 00:05:43,171 - True love. - Yeah. 126 00:05:50,005 --> 00:05:53,630 Dinner was insane, but that's expected. 127 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,171 But I'll tell you what, 128 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,880 I want to record Holly chewing her ice cubes, 129 00:05:58,963 --> 00:06:01,421 use it as my alarm in the morning. That's-- 130 00:06:01,505 --> 00:06:03,921 Guarantee me of wanting to wake up and leave. 131 00:06:08,588 --> 00:06:10,796 What's the matter? You didn't like that joke? 132 00:06:13,171 --> 00:06:14,338 I'm flossing. 133 00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:15,713 I can see that. 134 00:06:16,671 --> 00:06:18,421 You're doing it extra hard tonight. 135 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,046 And I'm not sleeping with the fan on tonight. I hate that sound. 136 00:06:22,463 --> 00:06:24,963 No fan necessary. We'll crank the AC, babe. 137 00:06:29,463 --> 00:06:30,880 Uh-oh. What, what, what? 138 00:06:30,963 --> 00:06:32,838 You're gonna yell at me? I can see this. Hang on. 139 00:06:32,921 --> 00:06:34,713 Why don't you do some more angry flossing? 140 00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:37,880 How come we haven't gone to Europe, Nick? 141 00:06:38,796 --> 00:06:40,130 You have to explain this to me. 142 00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:42,005 We never go anywhere. 143 00:06:42,088 --> 00:06:44,921 We travel. I took you to the Poconos that time. 144 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,255 What? The Poco-- That was-- 145 00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:47,755 That was for a funeral, Nick. 146 00:06:48,171 --> 00:06:50,630 How about, uh, when we went to Virginia 147 00:06:50,713 --> 00:06:52,963 when my uncle was in a hospice and we got to see him die? 148 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,630 - We did that. - Ugh, Nick. Come on. 149 00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,171 I'm talking about the postcard. 150 00:06:56,255 --> 00:06:59,338 - You don't remember that? - I remember it. Of course I remember it. 151 00:06:59,838 --> 00:07:02,921 It's been 15 years, Nick. I don't know what we're waitin' for. 152 00:07:05,963 --> 00:07:08,546 Now you've gone and done it, Audrey. 153 00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:10,296 What? What'd I do? 154 00:07:12,005 --> 00:07:14,005 I told you I had something big for you at dinner, 155 00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:16,255 and you couldn't wait till tomorrow morning? 156 00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:18,463 No. 157 00:07:19,796 --> 00:07:22,005 We're finally going to Europe. Happy anniversary. 158 00:07:22,588 --> 00:07:25,088 Oh, my God. I have chills. 159 00:07:25,171 --> 00:07:28,005 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 160 00:07:28,088 --> 00:07:30,130 Oh, my God! I'm so-- 161 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:33,130 - I ruined your surprise! - Shh. You didn't ruin anything. 162 00:07:33,213 --> 00:07:35,255 You're the greatest. You deserve it. I love you. 163 00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:37,880 - I love you! - It's still a surprise. I swear. 164 00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:44,921 - We can afford it, right? This is all-- - We can afford it, of course. 165 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:46,505 - Okay. - I'm getting my raise this year. 166 00:07:46,588 --> 00:07:48,255 - Right. - We're all set. Come on. 167 00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,046 - Hello. Hi. - Hello. 168 00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:51,921 So, uh, we are on our honeymoon, 169 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,546 and I was wondering if we could possibly get an upgrade 170 00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:57,005 because I have miles. Maybe-- 171 00:07:57,088 --> 00:08:00,380 I don't even know if it's from this airline, but do they expire, or-- 172 00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:02,630 Sir, you would have needed to request that in advance. 173 00:08:02,713 --> 00:08:04,296 - Yeah. - Right this way, please. 174 00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:06,963 - Thank you. I'm so sorry. - We did try advance. I tried calling. 175 00:08:07,046 --> 00:08:08,921 - And, um, nobody-- - Who'd you call? 176 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,546 - Crazy busy signals. - Really? 177 00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:12,505 - It's the busy signals! - Who did you try to call? 178 00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:19,005 I don't want to give it away. It was the butler. 179 00:08:19,088 --> 00:08:20,463 The butler did it. 180 00:08:21,255 --> 00:08:22,921 It's never the butler who did it. 181 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,671 I don't even think there are butlers. 182 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,921 That's just a word created for those goofy books you're addicted to. 183 00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,963 Would you just please, please shh? 184 00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:34,088 Leave my books alone, okay? Just let me read. 185 00:08:34,171 --> 00:08:36,213 I just like-- Makes me happy. 186 00:08:36,296 --> 00:08:38,171 Are you okay? You're cranky. Are you bored? 187 00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:40,046 - I'm gonna go to sleep. - Take a nap. 188 00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,213 - Are you okay with that? - Wait, don't-- 189 00:08:42,296 --> 00:08:44,963 But just, please, don't-- don't lay all the way back. 190 00:08:45,546 --> 00:08:46,963 - Don't take it back? - No. 191 00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:48,796 Why? You don't want my double chin to show? 192 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,546 It's not your chins, okay. It's just rude. 193 00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:52,505 Yes. 194 00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:54,213 - Okay. 'Cause you splay out. - All right. 195 00:08:54,296 --> 00:08:57,421 And then your seat is in, like, the lap of the guy behind you. 196 00:08:57,505 --> 00:09:00,421 - So just be considerate of everybody. - I'll stay up. Thank you. 197 00:09:01,255 --> 00:09:02,296 Timber. 198 00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:12,463 Oh, excuse me. 199 00:09:12,546 --> 00:09:13,963 - Hi. - Hello. Hi. 200 00:09:14,046 --> 00:09:16,546 Could I please have some earplugs? 201 00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:17,588 Yes. 202 00:09:17,671 --> 00:09:18,880 For nine dollars. 203 00:09:19,338 --> 00:09:21,755 Nine dollars? For earplugs? 204 00:09:21,838 --> 00:09:22,755 Yes. 205 00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:24,838 That's okay. I'll just-- 206 00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,630 I'll just use my peanuts. 207 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:29,338 I'll just-- 208 00:09:54,088 --> 00:09:54,921 Wow. 209 00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:12,380 Oh... 210 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:14,880 Mm. 211 00:10:21,963 --> 00:10:23,796 A fellow insomniac, I see. 212 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:24,880 Jesus. 213 00:10:24,963 --> 00:10:26,213 Yes. I-- 214 00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:28,588 Yep. I know, right? 215 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,796 I just cannot sleep on these things. 216 00:10:31,046 --> 00:10:32,671 So what brings you across the pond? 217 00:10:32,755 --> 00:10:35,713 Actually, it's my-- it's my honeymoon. 218 00:10:35,796 --> 00:10:37,296 Oh. Congratulations. 219 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,171 - Thank you. - Where's your husband? 220 00:10:39,755 --> 00:10:40,630 Dead. 221 00:10:41,171 --> 00:10:43,713 Asleep. He's dead-- dead asleep. 222 00:10:43,796 --> 00:10:45,838 We've actually been married for 15 years, 223 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:49,338 but we just have been very, very, very, very busy. 224 00:10:49,588 --> 00:10:52,838 Then a toast to the whirlwind that is your life. 225 00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:55,088 Yes. 226 00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:56,338 - Sorry, ma'am. - Oh, yes! 227 00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:58,380 The bar is for first class passengers only. 228 00:10:58,463 --> 00:11:00,880 Of course. Of course it is. I'm so sorry, yes. 229 00:11:00,963 --> 00:11:04,130 I will head back to the lower class cabin 230 00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:06,421 and sit where I should and, uh... 231 00:11:06,963 --> 00:11:07,921 shovel some coal. 232 00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:09,130 She's my guest. 233 00:11:09,213 --> 00:11:11,880 Unfortunately, sir, she'd need her own first class ticket. 234 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,296 Charles Cavendish. 235 00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:15,671 I'm so sorry, sir. 236 00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:20,588 Whoa! 237 00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:22,963 Charles Cavendish? 238 00:11:23,505 --> 00:11:24,421 Is that your real name? 239 00:11:24,505 --> 00:11:26,005 I'm afraid so. 240 00:11:26,088 --> 00:11:28,671 I mean, that sounds like it just fell right out of a... 241 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:29,921 mystery novel. 242 00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:32,463 And which character would I be? 243 00:11:33,546 --> 00:11:35,880 Name like that, you'd have to be the bad guy. 244 00:11:37,546 --> 00:11:38,380 Well... 245 00:11:39,213 --> 00:11:40,421 here's to the bad guys. 246 00:11:56,838 --> 00:11:59,088 - Okay, so your fiancée... - Hm. 247 00:11:59,796 --> 00:12:00,796 ...leaves you... 248 00:12:01,796 --> 00:12:05,130 ...for your elderly uncle-- 249 00:12:05,213 --> 00:12:07,755 Will you two kindly shut up? 250 00:12:07,838 --> 00:12:09,005 Oh, be quiet. 251 00:12:09,505 --> 00:12:12,588 Or we shall tell everyone about the ferret you've smuggled in here. 252 00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:16,921 The whole thing is tawdry, I know. 253 00:12:17,005 --> 00:12:18,921 - Tawdry. - He desired my betrothed, 254 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,671 and Uncle Malcolm always gets what he wants. 255 00:12:21,755 --> 00:12:23,713 Malcolm. Uncle Malcolm. 256 00:12:24,296 --> 00:12:25,338 - Quince. - Uncle-- 257 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:29,463 Malcolm Quince is your uncle? That billionaire? 258 00:12:29,796 --> 00:12:31,796 - That's the one. - Oh, my gosh. 259 00:12:32,546 --> 00:12:34,963 He looks just like this... 260 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,296 if this wrinkled olive had $70 billion. 261 00:12:40,213 --> 00:12:41,546 Seventy billion dollars. 262 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,213 I'm traveling to Monaco with the newlyweds on his yacht 263 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,838 for the Grand Prix this weekend. 264 00:12:46,171 --> 00:12:48,005 Why? Why would you do that? 265 00:12:48,088 --> 00:12:50,296 Why would you go on their yacht after what they just did? 266 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,296 Because I'm English, Mrs. Spitz. 267 00:12:52,963 --> 00:12:55,171 - I'm a glutton for social masochism. - Oh. 268 00:12:55,255 --> 00:12:59,880 And I plan on getting blind drunk and ruining the festivities. 269 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,046 Okay. I support that. 270 00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,213 - I say, Audrey... - Hm. 271 00:13:06,255 --> 00:13:08,880 Do you and your husband have plans this weekend? 272 00:13:13,713 --> 00:13:16,171 You made a joke. That's-- 273 00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:20,838 Holy shit! This plane has a bar? 274 00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:22,963 Sir, this is the first class lounge. 275 00:13:23,046 --> 00:13:25,005 I'm gonna have to ask you to return to your seat. 276 00:13:25,088 --> 00:13:26,421 There's bars on planes now? 277 00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:28,421 Planes have bars now. In first class. 278 00:13:28,505 --> 00:13:31,505 This is-- Man, I wish my mother was still alive to see this. 279 00:13:31,588 --> 00:13:33,171 She was an alcoholic, but a nice one. 280 00:13:33,255 --> 00:13:35,713 Sir, if you don't return to your seat, I'm gonna have to call-- 281 00:13:35,796 --> 00:13:36,671 The cops. 282 00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:38,213 So that's my wife 283 00:13:38,296 --> 00:13:41,838 talking to that handsome guy over there with the one chin. 284 00:13:42,171 --> 00:13:46,046 So I'm gonna go break that shit up, possibly grab myself a beer, 285 00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,421 maybe you a Xanax. 286 00:13:49,505 --> 00:13:51,796 ...the wine on board is worth a letter. 287 00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:54,796 People don't write letters anymore, do they? 288 00:13:55,338 --> 00:13:58,421 - Such a pity. - It's just, it's all so tactical. 289 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,338 Yeah, that's true. 290 00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:02,671 Hey! 291 00:14:02,755 --> 00:14:03,588 Nick. 292 00:14:03,671 --> 00:14:06,380 - How are you? - Hi, honey. You're awake. 293 00:14:06,838 --> 00:14:08,171 - Was your nappie good? - Been awake. 294 00:14:08,255 --> 00:14:09,838 - I was looking for you. - I know, I'm-- 295 00:14:09,921 --> 00:14:12,296 - Well, I met this lovely gentleman. - Oh, yeah? 296 00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,755 I'd like you to meet Charles Cavendish. 297 00:14:14,838 --> 00:14:16,421 - He's a lord. Right? - How do you do? 298 00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,588 - A lord? - Well, actually a viscount. 299 00:14:18,671 --> 00:14:21,088 - Oh. - Although viscounts are addressed as Lord, 300 00:14:21,171 --> 00:14:23,713 which probably accounts for the lovely Audrey's confusion. 301 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,921 There you go. She gets confused with me too. 302 00:14:26,005 --> 00:14:28,546 Sometimes I'm the king. Sometimes I'm Daddy. 303 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:31,546 So... can I get a Labatts, brother? 304 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,796 That'll be 17 euro. 305 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,130 No, no, no. Please. 306 00:14:35,213 --> 00:14:36,380 The beer is on me. 307 00:14:36,463 --> 00:14:39,171 I'm not just taking a beer from somebody I don't know. 308 00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:40,255 Oh, my gosh. 309 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:44,338 And I do hope you take advantage of my other offer. 310 00:14:44,421 --> 00:14:46,421 Hey. I'm not just gonna stand here 311 00:14:46,505 --> 00:14:49,130 while you offer to pay me to have sex with my wife. 312 00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:51,213 But out of curiosity, how much are we talking? 313 00:14:51,296 --> 00:14:52,463 - Great. - I wouldn't do it. 314 00:14:52,546 --> 00:14:54,171 - Hey, listen to me. - What? 315 00:14:54,255 --> 00:14:58,130 He is inviting us to spend the weekend with him on a yacht with his family. 316 00:14:58,213 --> 00:14:59,630 Well, we have plans. 317 00:15:00,088 --> 00:15:01,630 On a bus. 318 00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:05,296 A bus that is bound for the idyllic village of San Grigio, 319 00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:09,630 where we can watch a demonstration on how they age ham. 320 00:15:09,713 --> 00:15:11,963 - Let me explain something. - Tell me what I'm missing. 321 00:15:12,046 --> 00:15:13,005 - Are you kidding me? - Go. 322 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,421 We would be sailing around European harbors. 323 00:15:16,505 --> 00:15:18,671 - Yeah. - Okay? We'd be eating fresh fish. 324 00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,505 - Right. - And we'd be drinking wine. 325 00:15:20,588 --> 00:15:21,963 - Hmm. - We'd be together. 326 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:22,921 That's nice. 327 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,838 - They have a chef. - They have a chef. 328 00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,630 His name is Maurice. Maurice? 329 00:15:26,713 --> 00:15:28,296 - Maurice, yes. - Maurice. 330 00:15:28,713 --> 00:15:30,546 "Some people call me Maurice." 331 00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:33,296 Remember that one? 332 00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:35,630 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure. 333 00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:37,880 I gotcha. 334 00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:38,921 So listen-- 335 00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,130 What are you doing? 336 00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:43,838 Why would two adults come into a bathroom on an airplane? 337 00:15:43,921 --> 00:15:46,421 Honey, come on. To have a private conversation. 338 00:15:46,505 --> 00:15:47,588 Ah, that's funny. 339 00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:49,630 Listen. I'm just trying to understand 340 00:15:49,713 --> 00:15:53,463 why you are turning down the opportunity of a lifetime. 341 00:15:53,546 --> 00:15:55,171 Because I don't trust that guy. 342 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,671 - Why? - 'Cause instincts. 343 00:15:57,755 --> 00:15:58,588 Your instincts? 344 00:15:58,671 --> 00:16:01,088 The same ones that told you you were about to get laid in here? 345 00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:02,505 I'm not getting laid? 346 00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:06,421 Come on! When is the next time you and I are gonna be able to get on a yacht? 347 00:16:06,505 --> 00:16:09,380 I'm just saying, all those times we're eating ham sandwiches 348 00:16:09,463 --> 00:16:12,255 and you're always asking, "How do they age the ham?" 349 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,505 - Never had that-- - We'll never ask that question again 350 00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:16,671 - because we'll be in San Grigio. - That never happened. 351 00:16:16,755 --> 00:16:19,921 They'll give us the reason on how they do it so perfectly. 352 00:16:20,421 --> 00:16:21,880 Okay. You wanna know the truth? 353 00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:23,338 - You're breaking my heart. - Why? 354 00:16:23,421 --> 00:16:24,796 I feel like a schmuck 355 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,421 because I've been working my ass off and saving money, and now you know why. 356 00:16:28,505 --> 00:16:31,088 It was to take us on this trip. And I know I'm not a duke. 357 00:16:31,171 --> 00:16:33,005 I understand. He's a viscount, but-- 358 00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:35,421 - I don't even know what that is. - I know. It's okay. 359 00:16:36,088 --> 00:16:37,046 I'm sorry. 360 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,005 I love you. 361 00:16:38,088 --> 00:16:40,505 - I got lost. I got swept up in it. - I know. 362 00:16:40,588 --> 00:16:42,880 But it's okay. We're gonna do the bus. It's gonna be great. 363 00:16:42,963 --> 00:16:44,630 We'll do the bus. You're gonna love the bus! 364 00:16:49,338 --> 00:16:53,255 Hey! Hey, Gonzales. Where is our welcome glass of champagne? 365 00:16:53,338 --> 00:16:55,130 - We were promised... - Summer hit me! 366 00:16:55,213 --> 00:16:57,130 ...a glass of champagne when we arrived... 367 00:16:57,213 --> 00:17:00,380 Zip it! Both of you! Will you stop that? 368 00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:01,963 I know you hear me! 369 00:17:03,296 --> 00:17:04,130 Shut up! 370 00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:05,838 Let's do the-- We'll do the yacht, okay? 371 00:17:05,921 --> 00:17:06,963 - Thank you. - All right. 372 00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:08,380 Cavendish! 373 00:17:08,463 --> 00:17:10,796 We've changed our minds. We're gonna come. 374 00:17:11,255 --> 00:17:12,255 Splendid. 375 00:17:32,838 --> 00:17:34,005 - Hello. - Bienvenidos. 376 00:17:34,088 --> 00:17:35,463 Thank you. 377 00:17:35,546 --> 00:17:37,130 - Thank you. - De nada. 378 00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:38,921 - This is amazing. - Señor. 379 00:17:39,005 --> 00:17:40,421 I thought it was gonna be bigger. 380 00:17:40,505 --> 00:17:41,380 - What? - I did. 381 00:17:41,463 --> 00:17:43,505 - Bigger than this? - I really did. 382 00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:46,130 I bet that's Cavendish's ex-fiancée 383 00:17:46,213 --> 00:17:47,963 who left him for his uncle. 384 00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:51,671 Oh, okay. I'm starving. Where's that Maurice dude? 385 00:17:51,755 --> 00:17:54,296 Uh, I don't think we're supposed to talk to him directly. 386 00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:56,296 - Let's wait for dinner. - Which is when? 387 00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:59,338 I don't-- Honey, it's later. I don't know. It's Europe, okay? 388 00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:02,671 The bus observes a standard American dinnertime, so... 389 00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:05,338 Oh, baby, this is like a painting. 390 00:18:05,421 --> 00:18:07,880 - No, it's nice-- - It just doesn't look real. 391 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,963 - It's-- - Oh, my God! 392 00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,046 Wow. Look. She's so pretty. 393 00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:14,046 - Very pretty. - She's that kind of pretty 394 00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:16,338 that you don't really know what country she's from. 395 00:18:16,421 --> 00:18:18,505 I mean, I can't tell. Can you tell? 396 00:18:18,588 --> 00:18:19,505 Japan. 397 00:18:19,588 --> 00:18:22,463 Ah, yes, yes. You see? See? She can hear you. 398 00:18:22,546 --> 00:18:24,588 She's not a-- not on television right now. 399 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,005 - You're watching a real person. - Shh. 400 00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:29,380 Crashing the party with civilians. 401 00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:30,505 Are you drunk? 402 00:18:30,588 --> 00:18:32,380 It's only noon, Suzi, darling. 403 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,255 Of course I'm drunk. 404 00:18:34,338 --> 00:18:35,588 So, where is your beloved, 405 00:18:35,671 --> 00:18:37,296 Sir Liver Spots? 406 00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:38,588 Malcolm is not here yet. 407 00:18:38,671 --> 00:18:40,463 You know how he likes to make an entrance. 408 00:18:40,838 --> 00:18:44,088 You'd know more about Malcolm's entrances than anyone at this point. 409 00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:50,296 - Great to meet you. You're terrific. - Nice to meet you. Pleasure. 410 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,921 I'm sorry you had to see that. 411 00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:55,005 - Actually, I started to like you. - She deserved that. 412 00:18:55,088 --> 00:18:57,838 - Very good. You came on strong. - She is not nice. You're hurt. 413 00:18:57,921 --> 00:18:58,755 Charles. 414 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,671 So glad you could make it. 415 00:19:01,255 --> 00:19:03,213 And you brought guests. 416 00:19:03,296 --> 00:19:05,588 Allow me to introduce my cousin, Tobey. 417 00:19:05,671 --> 00:19:08,630 Malcolm's only son and the man Suzi would have left me for, 418 00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:10,046 had he not been a screaming queen. 419 00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,005 - Okay. - Thank you for having us aboard, sir. 420 00:19:13,088 --> 00:19:14,296 Yeah. Hey, really nice. 421 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:15,713 It's my father's boat. 422 00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:19,380 Oh, well, her father, uh, let me use his lawnmower one time, 423 00:19:19,463 --> 00:19:21,505 - so I know how that goes. - Yeah. 424 00:19:22,921 --> 00:19:24,088 How do you know Charles? 425 00:19:24,171 --> 00:19:26,671 Oh. We go back to six hours ago? 426 00:19:26,755 --> 00:19:28,296 - Yes. - We met on an airplane. 427 00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,005 He was very nice to include us. 428 00:19:30,088 --> 00:19:31,963 We have a spare cabin for them, I assume. 429 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:36,421 Well, seeing as you have so much history, I'm sure we can find some room. 430 00:19:36,505 --> 00:19:39,005 Thank you. Thanks for the warm welcome. Appreciate it. After you. 431 00:19:39,088 --> 00:19:41,838 - Up here? This keeps going up? - Really nice of you. So we go this way? 432 00:19:41,921 --> 00:19:44,338 - Wow. - There's another deck, hun. Another deck! 433 00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:47,463 "Sex-crazed oldster Malcolm Quince 434 00:19:47,546 --> 00:19:51,838 wed 23-year-old ski instructor Suzi Nakamura this week." 435 00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:54,338 - Mm-hmm. - "Why would the Tokyo-born tart 436 00:19:54,421 --> 00:19:56,588 trade downhills for dentures? 437 00:19:56,671 --> 00:20:01,046 Perhaps the $70 billion his son, Tobey, was set to inherit." 438 00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:02,713 - Wow. - Oh, my God, baby. 439 00:20:03,213 --> 00:20:06,088 We are literally right in the middle of a TMZ story. 440 00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:10,296 You were right about this yacht. Their shaving cream smells like coconuts. 441 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,463 - It's incredible. - Sorry. 442 00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:14,255 You're allergic to rich people now? 443 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,130 No. Stop it! I'm allergic to stuff. Would you please grab me the Claritin? 444 00:20:18,213 --> 00:20:19,546 Yes. Here. 445 00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:24,130 Baby, that's Allegra. You said you packed Claritin. 446 00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:25,171 That's the same thing. 447 00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:27,380 No, honey. Allegra doesn't work for me. 448 00:20:27,838 --> 00:20:28,671 Oh. 449 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:32,838 Okay. When we get to Monaco, I'll get you your Claritin. 450 00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:35,380 It's not-- It's gonna be called something else over there, 451 00:20:35,463 --> 00:20:38,171 I'm telling you. Just remember, we-- The blue box. 452 00:20:38,255 --> 00:20:42,588 You know, "Allegra" in, uh, French means the same shit as Claritin. 453 00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:45,755 - Smile. - Yes. 454 00:20:45,838 --> 00:20:48,380 You need to stop drinking. You're a drunk. 455 00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:49,505 Look at him. 456 00:20:49,588 --> 00:20:52,963 Why is he torturing himself like that? I mean, she's already married to Malcolm. 457 00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:55,588 I don't know what else he's expecting her to say to him. 458 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,505 She's saying he's a cad... 459 00:20:57,921 --> 00:20:59,796 ...and he's saying she's a tramp, 460 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,046 and they're both right. 461 00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:03,213 How do I know you? You're-- 462 00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,463 You're an actress, right? 463 00:21:04,546 --> 00:21:06,505 All women are actresses, dear. 464 00:21:06,921 --> 00:21:09,046 I'm just clever enough to get paid for it. 465 00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:10,505 Grace Ballard. 466 00:21:11,088 --> 00:21:12,463 Oh! 467 00:21:12,546 --> 00:21:13,713 My God! 468 00:21:14,213 --> 00:21:17,630 That's-- This is incr-- I'm a massive fan of yours! 469 00:21:17,713 --> 00:21:19,713 - Like, number one! - Oh. 470 00:21:19,796 --> 00:21:21,546 - This isn't-- - I know. It's incredible. 471 00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:25,130 I am Nick Spitz. This is my wife, Allison. 472 00:21:25,213 --> 00:21:27,338 - I can't believe-- - Aud-- Audrey. I'm Audrey. 473 00:21:27,421 --> 00:21:28,921 - I said Audrey! - No, you didn't. 474 00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:31,505 Allison is the character she played in the-- 475 00:21:31,588 --> 00:21:33,880 Remember the one? We watched it together. 476 00:21:33,963 --> 00:21:36,088 Where it's a beautiful lady, it turns out she's a robot? 477 00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:37,671 - And there's the bra-- - She's the robot! 478 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,880 - There's guns coming out of your bra. - Yes! 479 00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:41,963 Sex Machina. My breakout role. 480 00:21:42,046 --> 00:21:45,171 So good. Look at this, right in front of us! 481 00:21:45,255 --> 00:21:47,338 I feel like I got kicked in the belly right now! 482 00:21:47,421 --> 00:21:49,255 - Okay. Hey, hey, hey. - I lost my wind! 483 00:21:49,546 --> 00:21:51,546 Let's go put on some sunscreen 'cause it's-- 484 00:21:51,630 --> 00:21:53,296 You already put the sunscreen on me earlier. 485 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,713 No, we're gonna-- we're gonna reapply the sunscreen. 486 00:21:55,796 --> 00:21:57,505 - We're putting more on? - We're gonna reapply. 487 00:21:57,588 --> 00:21:58,796 All right. We'll put more on. 488 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,963 - So nice to meet you. - I can't believe-- This is great! 489 00:22:01,046 --> 00:22:02,630 - He's so excited. - We're on the same ship! 490 00:22:05,255 --> 00:22:08,130 Look at that. It says that her last name isn't even really Ballard. 491 00:22:08,213 --> 00:22:09,255 Well, so what? 492 00:22:09,838 --> 00:22:11,671 How do you just come out looking that beautiful? 493 00:22:12,171 --> 00:22:14,380 - Oh, she's had it all done. - What? 494 00:22:14,713 --> 00:22:17,005 Lips, nose, chin. 495 00:22:17,088 --> 00:22:18,088 No! 496 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:20,130 People really get their chins done? 497 00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:21,588 - Mm-hmm. - Huh! 498 00:22:21,671 --> 00:22:23,963 That was so directed at me, it was disgusting. 499 00:22:24,046 --> 00:22:26,046 You want me to get my chin done. And I'm not-- 500 00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:28,880 I love you for who you are. Although it's an option. 501 00:22:28,963 --> 00:22:31,046 Would you guys excuse me for a moment? 502 00:22:31,130 --> 00:22:33,713 - I should say hello to the Maharajah. - Absolutely. 503 00:22:33,796 --> 00:22:35,838 - Everyone's saying it. - Do you believe we're on a boat 504 00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,880 where the guy said, "I'm gonna go have a conversation with the Maharajah?" 505 00:22:38,963 --> 00:22:40,671 - That was big. - Is this real? 506 00:22:40,755 --> 00:22:41,588 Excuse me, ma'am? 507 00:22:41,671 --> 00:22:44,255 Is there a Maurice here? 'Cause I'm hungry as hell. 508 00:22:44,338 --> 00:22:45,463 Yes, sir. He's preparing. 509 00:22:45,546 --> 00:22:47,338 He's preparing. Okay. Is he ever gonna finish? 510 00:22:47,671 --> 00:22:49,588 Please tell Maurice to step on the gas. 511 00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:52,880 - Oh, honey, honey, honey. - Mm-hmm? 512 00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:56,630 Okay, um, don't look right now, but there's a really scary man 513 00:22:56,713 --> 00:22:58,088 - with an eye patch... - Mm-hmm? 514 00:22:58,171 --> 00:23:00,088 ...who's just staring right at us. 515 00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,130 I said don't look and you can't not do it. 516 00:23:02,213 --> 00:23:03,880 You say eye patch and scary, I'm gonna look. 517 00:23:03,963 --> 00:23:05,713 I'm sorry. It's physically impossible not to. 518 00:23:05,796 --> 00:23:07,588 All right. Okay. He's walking at us. 519 00:23:07,671 --> 00:23:09,213 - Honey, honey. - Play it cool. 520 00:23:09,296 --> 00:23:11,380 - Hey, fellas. What's up? How are ya? - Hey. Hi. 521 00:23:11,463 --> 00:23:13,505 - Who let you two on board? - Excuse me? 522 00:23:13,588 --> 00:23:14,880 What is happening right now? 523 00:23:14,963 --> 00:23:16,963 They're my guests, Colonel. 524 00:23:17,046 --> 00:23:19,421 - This weekend is for family only. - Really? 525 00:23:19,505 --> 00:23:21,588 The last time I checked, you're not family. 526 00:23:21,963 --> 00:23:24,171 Neither is Soviet Chewbacca over there. 527 00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:25,796 Nick, Audrey. 528 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,505 - Yeah, you're not family for sure. - Okay. 529 00:23:27,588 --> 00:23:30,296 Jesus. So I see one of them was packing heat. 530 00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:33,213 - Was I supposed to bring a gun? - Oh, I doubt it's even loaded. 531 00:23:33,296 --> 00:23:36,713 That's Colonel Charles Ulenga of the Namibian Defense Force. 532 00:23:36,796 --> 00:23:37,838 Malcolm's best friend. 533 00:23:37,921 --> 00:23:40,296 He saved his life from a bombing attempt in '94. 534 00:23:40,755 --> 00:23:42,380 That's where he lost his eye and his-- 535 00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,130 And his dick? Did he lose his dick? 536 00:23:44,213 --> 00:23:47,005 - Honey, why? - I thought that maybe it was his dick. 537 00:23:47,505 --> 00:23:51,338 And that's Sergei Radjenko, former Spetsnaz, and his bodyguard. 538 00:23:52,005 --> 00:23:53,796 Crazy eye patch guy needs a bodyguard? 539 00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:56,588 Whoa! The hand! 540 00:23:56,671 --> 00:23:59,338 There's a hand. It's not on his body anymore. 541 00:24:00,213 --> 00:24:02,171 Oh, look at this. Now he's smoking his dick! 542 00:24:02,255 --> 00:24:04,880 - He's smoking his dick! - No. Oh, God. Would you stop it? 543 00:24:04,963 --> 00:24:07,255 I'm just having fun. It's a boat. 544 00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:09,546 Can I ask you a question? 545 00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:12,630 What exactly... is a maharajah? 546 00:24:12,713 --> 00:24:14,005 Why don't you ask him yourself? 547 00:24:14,088 --> 00:24:14,921 No. 548 00:24:15,005 --> 00:24:17,713 Vik, I have some guests I'd like you to meet. 549 00:24:17,796 --> 00:24:19,421 Nick and Audrey Spitz, 550 00:24:20,046 --> 00:24:24,671 I present the exalted Maharajah Vikram Shivan Govindan of Mumbai. 551 00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,921 - Oh, my gosh. It's so-- - Hey. 552 00:24:28,588 --> 00:24:29,963 So nice to-- 553 00:24:32,463 --> 00:24:33,713 - Nice-- - We're-- 554 00:24:36,755 --> 00:24:40,421 Yo-ho-ho! That was very hilarious. Ah! 555 00:24:40,505 --> 00:24:42,213 With all the bowin' and shit. 556 00:24:42,296 --> 00:24:45,088 You know, when a brown person bows, white people bow back, innit? 557 00:24:45,171 --> 00:24:47,046 - Up high. How about-- - I'm sorry. 558 00:24:47,130 --> 00:24:48,755 He's giving you-- Respect! 559 00:24:48,838 --> 00:24:51,296 - That was very good. Very funny. - That was a joke. 560 00:24:51,380 --> 00:24:53,296 Audrey has a question she'd like to ask you. 561 00:24:53,588 --> 00:24:55,005 Let me hear it. 562 00:24:55,088 --> 00:24:59,588 Oh. We were actually wondering, what exactly is a maharajah? 563 00:24:59,671 --> 00:25:01,880 How do you-- Do you have to go to a school for that? 564 00:25:01,963 --> 00:25:03,546 Yeah, I was born into the game. 565 00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:05,713 - Oh, you're born into it. - Okay, born into it. 566 00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:07,880 What do you do, Nick? 567 00:25:07,963 --> 00:25:10,088 - I am-- - Nick's a detective. 568 00:25:10,171 --> 00:25:12,463 Tight! You ever wet up anyone? 569 00:25:12,546 --> 00:25:14,755 - What's that? - Yeah, you know, like drill, 570 00:25:14,838 --> 00:25:17,546 bust a cap, waste. You're like... 571 00:25:17,630 --> 00:25:19,671 - He's funny. No, never shot anybody. - No! God! 572 00:25:19,755 --> 00:25:20,630 Which is a good thing. 573 00:25:20,713 --> 00:25:23,713 Nick is-- Well, it's just that you're a terrible shot. 574 00:25:23,796 --> 00:25:24,963 He's a terrible shot. 575 00:25:25,046 --> 00:25:26,838 He barely got out of the academy 576 00:25:26,921 --> 00:25:30,796 because he couldn't even meet, like, his minimum marksmanship skills. 577 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,796 Audrey is lactose intolerant. 578 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,505 - She also burps in her sleep. - What? 579 00:25:35,588 --> 00:25:38,505 I just thought 'cause we are discussing each other's flaws right now, 580 00:25:38,588 --> 00:25:39,963 you wanted to put it on the table. 581 00:25:40,046 --> 00:25:43,213 I'm sorry I-- Listen, I didn't think that was a sensitive subject-- 582 00:25:43,296 --> 00:25:46,130 It's not a sensitive subject, I just don't like you telling 583 00:25:46,213 --> 00:25:48,630 - everybody we meet. - I'm sorry I brought it up. Never mind. 584 00:26:17,963 --> 00:26:20,255 - Whoa. - Oh, my gosh. Look at this. 585 00:26:20,338 --> 00:26:22,380 - Look at this crazy. - Wow. Babe. 586 00:26:22,463 --> 00:26:24,963 Well, this room is as nice as the way you look. 587 00:26:25,046 --> 00:26:28,463 - You look stunning. - Thank you, honey. That's so sweet. 588 00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:31,630 What? 589 00:26:31,713 --> 00:26:33,088 Everybody's in tuxedos. 590 00:26:33,171 --> 00:26:35,588 - I wish you'd let me pack. - I shoulda wore socks. You're right. 591 00:26:35,671 --> 00:26:38,630 - Yo! Juan Carlos! - Hey! 592 00:26:38,713 --> 00:26:41,046 - Oh, good luck, man. - Hey. 593 00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:44,380 Hi. Hi, there. What are we wishing you good luck for? 594 00:26:44,463 --> 00:26:47,921 Well, he is racing in the Monaco Grand Prix tomorrow. 595 00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:49,796 Wow. That's big. 596 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,005 Juan Carlos Rivera, let me introduce you to-- 597 00:26:55,171 --> 00:26:57,546 Steve and Lady Steve. 598 00:26:58,130 --> 00:26:59,130 - What? - No. 599 00:26:59,213 --> 00:27:01,130 - No, no. - I mean, if you want. 600 00:27:01,213 --> 00:27:03,505 - Just met us once. - Yeah, all right. I'm gonna... 601 00:27:03,588 --> 00:27:04,588 - I'm Audrey. - ...go again. 602 00:27:04,671 --> 00:27:06,338 I'm Nick, and then we're the Spitzes. 603 00:27:06,421 --> 00:27:07,880 Juan Carlos, huh? 604 00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:09,046 Hey, Juan Carlos. 605 00:27:09,130 --> 00:27:10,421 So you're a race car driver. 606 00:27:11,046 --> 00:27:12,796 Good, yes. 607 00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:15,255 Wow. How do you get into something like that? 608 00:27:15,588 --> 00:27:17,588 Uh, number one, yes. 609 00:27:18,046 --> 00:27:19,463 You don't speak English, do you? 610 00:27:20,546 --> 00:27:22,671 Uh, very fast. Very fast. 611 00:27:22,755 --> 00:27:24,130 - Huh? Welcome. - Okay. 612 00:27:38,296 --> 00:27:39,338 What's that? 613 00:27:40,088 --> 00:27:42,463 That is the Quince dagger. 614 00:27:43,588 --> 00:27:46,463 Chinese steel, jewels from across the Orient. 615 00:27:47,005 --> 00:27:49,421 A gift to the family from Marco Polo, 616 00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:50,963 or so the legend says. 617 00:27:51,046 --> 00:27:51,921 God. 618 00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:54,796 Nick's grandmother gave us a toaster from Sears. 619 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,880 So the legend says. 620 00:28:08,338 --> 00:28:09,963 Oh, look. 621 00:28:10,046 --> 00:28:12,046 Here comes Daddy. 622 00:28:13,838 --> 00:28:14,838 What's that? 623 00:28:26,338 --> 00:28:27,588 Captain Wong, 624 00:28:28,046 --> 00:28:30,546 I'd like to address my guests privately. 625 00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:31,755 Certainly. 626 00:28:41,005 --> 00:28:41,880 My friends, 627 00:28:42,713 --> 00:28:45,380 welcome to the Mediterranean Queen. 628 00:28:45,463 --> 00:28:48,130 I can't tell you how much it warms my heart 629 00:28:48,755 --> 00:28:50,963 that you have made this trip here 630 00:28:51,046 --> 00:28:52,921 to celebrate my nuptials. 631 00:28:53,005 --> 00:28:55,171 You will find, as you get older, 632 00:28:55,671 --> 00:28:57,796 that you begin to take stock of life. 633 00:28:59,338 --> 00:29:01,255 Not just where you've succeeded, 634 00:29:02,213 --> 00:29:03,505 but where you've failed. 635 00:29:05,255 --> 00:29:06,088 Who... 636 00:29:06,838 --> 00:29:07,838 you've failed. 637 00:29:15,213 --> 00:29:16,213 Suzi, 638 00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,380 my darling bride, 639 00:29:18,921 --> 00:29:21,963 who has so much of her life ahead of her. 640 00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:27,755 Grace, who shines so brightly on the silver screen. 641 00:29:33,755 --> 00:29:36,005 Juan Carlos, my godson, 642 00:29:36,630 --> 00:29:39,963 who strives to lead my race team to victory. 643 00:29:42,838 --> 00:29:43,838 You-- 644 00:29:46,296 --> 00:29:47,255 Who are you? 645 00:29:48,713 --> 00:29:51,296 - Oh. Hey. We're the Spitzes. - We're the-- 646 00:29:51,671 --> 00:29:52,546 The who? 647 00:29:52,921 --> 00:29:55,463 Uh, I'm Audrey, and Nick Spitz. 648 00:29:55,838 --> 00:29:57,171 - Great. - We love the boat. 649 00:29:57,255 --> 00:29:59,380 - A boat? I mean, this is a ship. - It's beyond. 650 00:29:59,463 --> 00:30:01,755 - Never seen anything like this. - Eric Lamonsoff has a boat. 651 00:30:01,838 --> 00:30:03,380 We go fishing. He's got a Boston Whaler. 652 00:30:03,463 --> 00:30:04,505 This is gigantic. 653 00:30:04,588 --> 00:30:06,296 They're my guests, Uncle. 654 00:30:06,588 --> 00:30:08,255 You brought guests? 655 00:30:08,338 --> 00:30:10,880 Well, you did take my plus-one. 656 00:30:11,588 --> 00:30:13,588 I'm so sorry. Would you like us to leave? 657 00:30:13,671 --> 00:30:16,046 We could-- I don't know how we're getting out of here, though. 658 00:30:16,130 --> 00:30:18,921 We're-- We're out to sea. Is there an Uber for boats? 659 00:30:19,005 --> 00:30:21,213 - Out-- Out of the room, Nick. - Out of the room? 660 00:30:21,296 --> 00:30:22,838 We can go out of the room, absolutely-- 661 00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:23,796 No. 662 00:30:24,380 --> 00:30:26,005 That won't be necessary. 663 00:30:26,338 --> 00:30:28,421 - Okay. So we'll stick around. - So we stay. Okay. 664 00:30:29,213 --> 00:30:30,796 My nephew, Charles, 665 00:30:31,546 --> 00:30:33,963 who always finds a way to keep me on my toes. 666 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,796 My friend, the Colonel, who's kept me safe these many years. 667 00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:45,963 Vikram, whose family fortunes have always been intertwined with my own. 668 00:30:50,380 --> 00:30:51,963 And my Tobias. 669 00:30:52,921 --> 00:30:55,005 All I ever wanted was a son, 670 00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,213 and here you are. 671 00:30:58,005 --> 00:30:59,505 My boy. 672 00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:07,088 I've spoken to all of you about your position in my will. 673 00:31:07,755 --> 00:31:12,005 I have thought long and hard about what each of you is truly worth, 674 00:31:13,046 --> 00:31:15,171 and I've come to this conclusion. 675 00:31:16,380 --> 00:31:18,796 You are all leeches. 676 00:31:19,588 --> 00:31:20,671 Repugnant. 677 00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:22,255 Blood fat. 678 00:31:22,713 --> 00:31:27,255 Suckling on the tit of my good work for so many years. 679 00:31:29,213 --> 00:31:30,546 You repulse me. 680 00:31:34,463 --> 00:31:36,546 Can't get this on a bus, baby. 681 00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:38,088 - This is incredible. - I know it. 682 00:31:38,171 --> 00:31:39,296 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 683 00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:42,130 Which is why I have drafted a new will. 684 00:31:43,380 --> 00:31:46,005 It states that my entire fortune 685 00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:48,046 goes to Suzi. 686 00:31:51,838 --> 00:31:53,588 From this moment forth, 687 00:31:54,005 --> 00:31:55,463 you are all cut off. 688 00:31:56,505 --> 00:31:57,796 Abandoned. 689 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,005 And perhaps, after I've done you this kindness, 690 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,130 you will finally be able to make something of yourselves... 691 00:32:05,755 --> 00:32:06,880 on your own. 692 00:32:15,421 --> 00:32:18,421 Apparently, she's had enough of my caviar. 693 00:32:19,546 --> 00:32:21,130 - That was funny. - Shh. 694 00:32:21,213 --> 00:32:22,296 Darling. 695 00:32:26,130 --> 00:32:27,755 You could've signed this at home. 696 00:32:28,255 --> 00:32:30,838 Instead, you called us here to humiliate us? 697 00:32:30,921 --> 00:32:33,380 Yes, and you came running. 698 00:32:33,463 --> 00:32:34,671 Father, don't do this. 699 00:32:35,588 --> 00:32:36,796 Or what? 700 00:32:38,796 --> 00:32:39,838 Yes. 701 00:32:40,380 --> 00:32:41,755 That's what I thought. 702 00:32:55,963 --> 00:32:58,213 Don't shoot me! Don't shoot me, please! 703 00:32:58,588 --> 00:33:00,046 Daddy! 704 00:33:13,630 --> 00:33:14,755 You shot him! 705 00:33:14,838 --> 00:33:16,005 No! 706 00:33:16,088 --> 00:33:17,546 I saw someone stab him. 707 00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:19,088 - Who? - I don't know. 708 00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:20,380 What happened? I heard a scr-- 709 00:33:21,671 --> 00:33:22,713 Malcolm! 710 00:33:22,796 --> 00:33:24,046 Oh, God! 711 00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:26,671 Has anybody tried to revive him? 712 00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:29,755 He's got a knife plunged in his heart. I don't think he's revivable. 713 00:33:29,838 --> 00:33:30,838 Should we pull it out? 714 00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:33,171 No. It's a foot-long knife. It's just like pulling-- 715 00:33:36,963 --> 00:33:38,130 Oh, God! 716 00:33:38,213 --> 00:33:41,546 Wow! You should have left the knife in for the po-po, Colonel, man! 717 00:33:41,630 --> 00:33:43,088 - I'll put it back. - Don't put it back. 718 00:33:46,796 --> 00:33:49,130 Oh! Will you listen to my husband? He's a detective. 719 00:33:49,213 --> 00:33:51,213 Yes, yes. What should we do, Mr. Officer? 720 00:33:51,296 --> 00:33:55,838 Well, for starters, let's stop removing and reinserting the murder weapon 721 00:33:55,921 --> 00:33:57,380 into the victim's chest. 722 00:33:57,463 --> 00:34:00,005 In fact, let's stop touching the body altogether. 723 00:34:00,088 --> 00:34:01,713 He was gonna take it all away. 724 00:34:03,005 --> 00:34:04,213 For you. 725 00:34:05,630 --> 00:34:06,463 Yo... 726 00:34:07,296 --> 00:34:08,380 Did he sign it? 727 00:34:13,046 --> 00:34:13,880 No. 728 00:34:13,963 --> 00:34:14,880 Yes! 729 00:34:14,963 --> 00:34:17,338 We should make sure he doesn't have another copy on him. 730 00:34:17,630 --> 00:34:18,463 Uh-- Mm-mm. 731 00:34:18,546 --> 00:34:21,296 Rifling through the pockets of the corpse counts as touching, yup. 732 00:34:21,380 --> 00:34:24,130 Sorry to single you out like that, Ms. Ballard. You're wonderful. 733 00:34:24,213 --> 00:34:26,505 - You look extravagant tonight. - Okay. What's next? 734 00:34:26,588 --> 00:34:28,546 We have to preserve the crime scene. 735 00:34:28,630 --> 00:34:31,338 Captain Wong, is there any way you can lock off this place? 736 00:34:31,671 --> 00:34:32,588 Yes, of course. 737 00:34:32,671 --> 00:34:35,088 So we should then start questioning the suspects. 738 00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:36,546 Suspects? 739 00:34:36,630 --> 00:34:38,213 We're not questioning anybody. 740 00:34:38,296 --> 00:34:40,921 Wong, when you finish locking up here, you bring me the key. 741 00:34:41,005 --> 00:34:44,380 Then you radio Interpol, tell 'em we'll meet 'em at the docks in Monaco. 742 00:34:44,463 --> 00:34:47,671 In the meantime, I'm gonna check the shrimp out a little closer. 743 00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:49,213 For the investigation? 744 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:51,463 No, Wong, because I'm hungry as shit. 745 00:34:51,546 --> 00:34:54,546 The rest of you, I'd lock yourselves in your chambers or your yacht rooms 746 00:34:54,630 --> 00:34:55,921 because one of us... 747 00:34:57,171 --> 00:34:58,255 is a murderer. 748 00:35:03,796 --> 00:35:05,630 - Audrey. - Yeah? 749 00:35:05,713 --> 00:35:07,088 Get the cocktail sauce. 750 00:35:07,713 --> 00:35:08,671 Yep. 751 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,588 Wait a second. What on earth is on these? 752 00:35:34,671 --> 00:35:38,755 I don't know. This Maurice guy must breastfeed each shrimp individually. 753 00:35:38,838 --> 00:35:40,380 I mean, they live so well. 754 00:35:40,463 --> 00:35:41,963 - Oh, God, yeah. - God. 755 00:35:43,088 --> 00:35:44,963 All right. Where were we? Okay, okay, okay. 756 00:35:45,546 --> 00:35:48,755 You know what? There had to be two people in on the killing. 757 00:35:48,838 --> 00:35:51,338 Because how could they know when the lights were gonna go out? 758 00:35:51,421 --> 00:35:53,255 - That's smart, that's smart. - Right? 759 00:35:53,338 --> 00:35:55,505 I'm tired as hell right now. I'm gonna go to sleep. 760 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:56,880 - Are you kidding me? - What? 761 00:35:57,296 --> 00:35:58,380 You're not jet-lagged? 762 00:36:02,338 --> 00:36:04,171 Nick. 763 00:36:04,255 --> 00:36:06,213 - Honey, come on, seriously. - Huh? 764 00:36:06,296 --> 00:36:07,505 Who do you think did it? 765 00:36:08,546 --> 00:36:10,046 I don't think. I know. 766 00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:11,713 Who? 767 00:36:12,005 --> 00:36:13,255 It was the son. 768 00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:15,421 - Tobey. - No. 769 00:36:15,505 --> 00:36:18,630 No way. Not a chance. It's too obvious. 770 00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:21,255 The most obvious suspect is never, never the killer. 771 00:36:21,338 --> 00:36:24,671 The most obvious suspect is always the killer. 772 00:36:24,755 --> 00:36:29,505 When a wife gets killed, 90% of the time it was the husband. 773 00:36:30,963 --> 00:36:32,755 Why did you just use that as an example? 774 00:36:33,755 --> 00:36:34,796 And I disagree. 775 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,130 I think people are more complicated than that. 776 00:36:39,171 --> 00:36:41,921 Judging off of what? Those books that you read? 777 00:36:42,505 --> 00:36:44,921 People are simple, okay? 778 00:36:45,005 --> 00:36:45,963 It was Tobey. 779 00:36:46,046 --> 00:36:49,546 He had the most to gain, and he also had the most to lose. 780 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,296 Which is exactly why he's not the killer. 781 00:36:53,921 --> 00:36:55,921 Did you ever fool around on a boat? 782 00:36:56,463 --> 00:36:58,005 Do you know how much fun that could be? 783 00:36:58,088 --> 00:37:00,171 I just lay here and the boat does all the work. 784 00:37:00,255 --> 00:37:02,546 - That's so convenient for you. - You know I have a bad back. 785 00:37:02,630 --> 00:37:04,130 So convenient for you. 786 00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:07,046 What about the lights? 787 00:37:07,130 --> 00:37:10,213 Yeah, leave 'em on. I don't care. Either way. Lady's choice. 788 00:37:10,296 --> 00:37:12,880 Shh! No. Who turned out those lights? 789 00:37:15,588 --> 00:37:17,296 What?! Oh! 790 00:37:28,046 --> 00:37:30,171 Don't look at me like that. I can feel it. 791 00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:02,546 - I'm sorry. Excuse me. - Will you take the Allegra? 792 00:38:02,630 --> 00:38:03,796 It's the same stuff. 793 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,755 - I don't want to talk about it. - Oh, God. 794 00:38:09,046 --> 00:38:11,213 Enter the brilliant yet tortured detective, 795 00:38:11,505 --> 00:38:12,505 right on cue. 796 00:38:13,255 --> 00:38:14,380 Mesdames, messieurs. 797 00:38:16,421 --> 00:38:19,130 My name is Inspector Laurent Delacroix. 798 00:38:20,963 --> 00:38:25,005 I will now summon you one by one to the grand lounge for questioning. 799 00:38:31,171 --> 00:38:33,713 Why is that smoke ring so good? How did he do that? 800 00:38:36,130 --> 00:38:38,171 Oh, you broke it. You broke it. 801 00:38:49,838 --> 00:38:51,421 Tell me about Malcolm Quince. 802 00:38:51,921 --> 00:38:54,296 He was the most wonderful-- 803 00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:55,505 Swine. 804 00:38:55,588 --> 00:38:57,630 He was the love of my life. 805 00:38:57,713 --> 00:38:59,838 He was a complicated man. 806 00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:02,963 Describe to me what happened. 807 00:39:03,546 --> 00:39:08,338 Yo, Mr. French Policeman, man. It was mad. Lights went out. 808 00:39:08,421 --> 00:39:10,880 I thought I saw something move, and I shot. 809 00:39:13,713 --> 00:39:14,630 Yes. 810 00:39:14,713 --> 00:39:15,546 Finish line. 811 00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:17,713 The old man got what was coming to him. 812 00:39:17,796 --> 00:39:19,546 One-eight-seven, motherfu-- 813 00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,588 Did anyone touch the body? 814 00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:26,463 No. 815 00:39:26,546 --> 00:39:30,255 And did you notice anything else out of the ordinary? 816 00:39:31,130 --> 00:39:33,630 - The Americans. - Yes, number one. Yes. 817 00:39:37,588 --> 00:39:39,296 Aren't you gonna, um... 818 00:39:39,380 --> 00:39:40,838 Aren't you gonna separate us? 819 00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:43,713 Pardon? 820 00:39:44,171 --> 00:39:45,880 - For the interrogation. - Okay. 821 00:39:45,963 --> 00:39:47,588 Question us separately, see if our... 822 00:39:47,671 --> 00:39:49,505 - What are you doing? - ...answers match. 823 00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:52,380 What? I'm just saying, our answers will match 824 00:39:52,463 --> 00:39:54,296 - because we're innocent. - Yeah, that's right. 825 00:39:55,796 --> 00:39:56,713 There we go. 826 00:39:56,796 --> 00:39:59,338 God, you are really good at that. 827 00:39:59,588 --> 00:40:02,963 We found this in Tobey Quince's suite. 828 00:40:03,630 --> 00:40:05,838 A typewritten suicide note 829 00:40:05,921 --> 00:40:08,671 in which he confesses to the murder of his father. 830 00:40:09,255 --> 00:40:10,088 Typewritten? 831 00:40:10,171 --> 00:40:12,338 - Mm-mm. - That's not very common. 832 00:40:12,796 --> 00:40:14,546 - Very suspicious. - Yes. 833 00:40:14,630 --> 00:40:17,963 Yeah, obviously someone is trying to frame Tobey for his father's murder. 834 00:40:18,963 --> 00:40:21,421 - This is amazing. - Look how excited she is. 835 00:40:21,505 --> 00:40:23,296 So where's your head at with this whole thing? 836 00:40:23,380 --> 00:40:24,963 I mean, who are your chief suspects? 837 00:40:26,338 --> 00:40:27,171 You. 838 00:40:27,255 --> 00:40:29,255 - Woo, yes. - Right, of course, 839 00:40:29,338 --> 00:40:32,713 - 'cause everybody is a suspect. - Especially her. 840 00:40:32,796 --> 00:40:36,255 This is a group of friends and family who have known each other for years. 841 00:40:36,338 --> 00:40:39,338 You two show up, and ten hours later, two of them are dead. 842 00:40:40,088 --> 00:40:40,963 Coincidence? 843 00:40:41,463 --> 00:40:43,046 - Yes. - Absolutely. 844 00:40:43,130 --> 00:40:44,463 - Coincidence. - Wait. Excuse me. 845 00:40:44,546 --> 00:40:46,046 Are you saying that your theory 846 00:40:46,130 --> 00:40:50,338 is that the two of us conned our way onto a stranger's boat at the last minute 847 00:40:50,421 --> 00:40:54,421 to commit premeditated murder that benefits us in no way? 848 00:40:54,505 --> 00:40:55,380 That's your theory? 849 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,421 Perhaps someone paid you to do it. 850 00:40:57,505 --> 00:40:59,088 - No. - Paid us to do it? 851 00:40:59,171 --> 00:41:01,963 Oh, my gosh. I would love to see that. Show me that money. 852 00:41:02,046 --> 00:41:04,005 Do you want to see our bank statements? 853 00:41:04,380 --> 00:41:06,338 We're broke. 854 00:41:06,421 --> 00:41:08,380 Desperate for money. I see. 855 00:41:08,463 --> 00:41:10,421 Now you gave him a motive. 856 00:41:10,505 --> 00:41:12,671 - No, no, no. I know. Just don't... - We did this because-- 857 00:41:12,755 --> 00:41:14,671 - ...take my words out of context. - We got nothing. 858 00:41:14,755 --> 00:41:16,171 - That's all we got, is nothing. - No. 859 00:41:16,255 --> 00:41:19,546 Listen, I am talking to you, detective to detective. 860 00:41:20,088 --> 00:41:21,046 We didn't do this. 861 00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:23,588 - You can see in my eyes. You can tell. - Mm-mm. 862 00:41:24,088 --> 00:41:27,338 Perhaps I will have that word with you independently. 863 00:41:28,130 --> 00:41:29,296 I di-- Hey! 864 00:41:30,630 --> 00:41:31,546 I can get up. 865 00:41:31,630 --> 00:41:32,963 Hey, okay. 866 00:41:33,046 --> 00:41:34,463 I'll be out in a minute. 867 00:41:34,963 --> 00:41:36,046 I love you. 868 00:41:36,130 --> 00:41:38,713 I'm sorry. She's just excited because it's-- 869 00:41:38,796 --> 00:41:41,213 She reads books, and this is fun for her. 870 00:41:43,546 --> 00:41:46,171 You wish me to believe you're innocent. 871 00:41:46,255 --> 00:41:48,671 Unfortunately, I do not believe liars. 872 00:41:48,755 --> 00:41:50,255 But I'm telling you the truth. 873 00:41:50,338 --> 00:41:52,796 And how long have you been lying to your wife? 874 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:53,713 Excuse me? 875 00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:57,630 You did not think that we would investigate your background, 876 00:41:58,088 --> 00:42:01,546 Sergeant Nicholas Spitz, NYPD? 877 00:42:02,005 --> 00:42:05,380 Failed his detective's exam three times. 878 00:42:05,463 --> 00:42:07,588 You are, how you do say, 879 00:42:07,671 --> 00:42:08,921 cop on the beat, 880 00:42:09,005 --> 00:42:11,088 not detective as you so claim. 881 00:42:11,838 --> 00:42:12,838 So I... 882 00:42:13,838 --> 00:42:15,421 tell people I'm a detective. 883 00:42:15,505 --> 00:42:16,713 There's-- 884 00:42:16,796 --> 00:42:18,005 That's not a crime. 885 00:42:18,380 --> 00:42:21,213 Impersonating a detective is a crime. 886 00:42:21,630 --> 00:42:23,005 I didn't think it was a crime here. 887 00:42:23,088 --> 00:42:24,796 I thought maybe you guys had different rules. 888 00:42:25,296 --> 00:42:27,005 That doesn't make us murderers. 889 00:42:27,088 --> 00:42:30,671 A broke, failed man, lying to his wife? I think it does. 890 00:42:30,963 --> 00:42:33,463 You don't have any evidence. You can't hold us. 891 00:42:33,546 --> 00:42:35,880 No, but I can hold these. 892 00:42:37,088 --> 00:42:40,588 I believe Mr. Cavendish has provided accommodations for you 893 00:42:40,671 --> 00:42:43,755 at the Hotel de Savoie, so you won't be on the street. 894 00:42:44,421 --> 00:42:47,380 But mark my words, Officer Spitz, 895 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,671 I will not rest until I prove that you committed these murders. 896 00:42:52,296 --> 00:42:53,255 And I... 897 00:42:54,088 --> 00:42:57,463 will rest, because I'm tired as shit, at that hotel you just said. 898 00:42:57,546 --> 00:42:59,046 It sounds like a good one. 899 00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:01,713 But after I'm well-rested and I eat breakfast-- 900 00:43:01,796 --> 00:43:04,421 hopefully the guy cooks as good as Maurice-- 901 00:43:05,255 --> 00:43:07,796 I will not rest until I prove to you 902 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,171 we have nothing to do with these murders. 903 00:43:15,005 --> 00:43:15,838 Juan Carlos! 904 00:43:15,921 --> 00:43:17,130 Juan Carlos! 905 00:43:20,671 --> 00:43:23,005 Charles said that everyone's gonna be at this race, 906 00:43:23,088 --> 00:43:24,921 so whoever did this is gonna be there. 907 00:43:25,005 --> 00:43:26,296 We have to figure out who it is. 908 00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:29,505 I know we've gotta figure it out. This isn't one of your books, sweetheart. 909 00:43:29,588 --> 00:43:32,046 I mean, it's like one of your books, but this is real. 910 00:43:32,130 --> 00:43:34,255 Like, two people are dead, for real. 911 00:43:34,338 --> 00:43:36,255 - I know. - There's a real killer on the real loose. 912 00:43:36,338 --> 00:43:37,505 Hey, babe. Relax. 913 00:43:37,588 --> 00:43:39,171 What's-- What's wrong with you? 914 00:43:39,255 --> 00:43:41,921 For real? Come on. Will you just focus... 915 00:43:42,005 --> 00:43:43,005 - Fine. - ...on this with me? 916 00:43:43,088 --> 00:43:44,671 Um, yes. Uh... 917 00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:47,671 Okay. So there are three basic motives for every murder. 918 00:43:47,755 --> 00:43:49,671 Yes. The first one is money. 919 00:43:49,755 --> 00:43:50,630 Right. 920 00:43:50,713 --> 00:43:52,671 Everyone was in Quince's will, except Suzi. 921 00:43:52,755 --> 00:43:54,713 - Okay. - All right. The second one is love. 922 00:43:54,796 --> 00:43:57,130 We know nobody loved that guy 'cause he was kind of a prick. 923 00:43:57,213 --> 00:43:58,296 Suzi might have loved him. 924 00:43:58,380 --> 00:44:00,630 - That's what you would think-- - Okay, what's the third one? 925 00:44:00,713 --> 00:44:01,880 - Revenge. - Right. 926 00:44:01,963 --> 00:44:03,588 That's the one we should be thinking about. 927 00:44:03,671 --> 00:44:06,046 I'm telling you, if we figure out who hates this guy the most, 928 00:44:06,130 --> 00:44:07,005 that's our killer. 929 00:44:07,088 --> 00:44:08,421 Okay. Okay. 930 00:44:18,088 --> 00:44:20,796 So, this beard... It's incredible. 931 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,671 Do you oil that or condition? 932 00:44:23,755 --> 00:44:25,255 You won't get anything out of him. 933 00:44:25,338 --> 00:44:26,671 Oh, my gosh. 934 00:44:26,755 --> 00:44:29,796 Most of his life, he's been serving men like me and Malcolm, 935 00:44:30,130 --> 00:44:32,005 despite being an heir to millions. 936 00:44:32,088 --> 00:44:33,296 He's rich, too? 937 00:44:33,380 --> 00:44:35,713 He's supposed to be, but he's one of 16 children, 938 00:44:35,796 --> 00:44:37,713 and he's half French. 939 00:44:37,796 --> 00:44:40,255 Are you familiar with French inheritance law? 940 00:44:40,630 --> 00:44:41,588 Broad strokes. 941 00:44:41,671 --> 00:44:44,130 That Colonel guy, he's getting on my nerves. 942 00:44:44,213 --> 00:44:45,796 - Yeah. - Shit. Walking around 943 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:47,463 - saying you killed both those guys. - Huh? 944 00:44:47,546 --> 00:44:48,755 - Yeah. - What? 945 00:44:48,838 --> 00:44:50,255 And I'm like, come on. 946 00:44:50,338 --> 00:44:53,963 - My man wouldn't do-- - Yo. Look, yo. I didn't do nothing, son. 947 00:44:54,046 --> 00:44:56,213 - It doesn't matter what the will says. - Uh-huh. 948 00:44:56,296 --> 00:44:59,171 The fortune must be divided equally among the offspring. 949 00:44:59,255 --> 00:45:01,088 Why do the French have such a law? 950 00:45:01,171 --> 00:45:05,380 Well, they do it to keep all Frenchmen from doing what Malcolm was trying to do, 951 00:45:05,463 --> 00:45:07,921 and leaving everything to their mistresses. 952 00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:09,046 Oh. 953 00:45:09,963 --> 00:45:11,380 - My theory is... - Yeah? 954 00:45:11,755 --> 00:45:13,088 ...Juan Carlos done it, man. 955 00:45:13,171 --> 00:45:14,838 What? Why would he do that? 956 00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:17,588 Well, Juan Carlos's dad used to race for Malcolm. 957 00:45:17,671 --> 00:45:21,713 Malcolm tried to get slick on some safety angle, and shit got overlooked. 958 00:45:21,796 --> 00:45:23,046 - Yeah? - Okay. 959 00:45:24,130 --> 00:45:27,921 Juan Carlos's dad lost both his legs, G. 960 00:45:28,005 --> 00:45:29,963 Yeah, straight up. 961 00:45:30,046 --> 00:45:31,130 - Oh. - Gone. 962 00:45:31,213 --> 00:45:32,421 So it's payback time. 963 00:45:32,505 --> 00:45:34,088 A hundred percent of a doubt. 964 00:45:34,755 --> 00:45:35,588 Wh-What? 965 00:45:35,921 --> 00:45:38,005 - Juan Carlos is your man. - Oh, yeah. 966 00:45:38,088 --> 00:45:39,255 You guarantee that? 967 00:45:39,338 --> 00:45:40,338 Guarantee. 968 00:45:40,421 --> 00:45:41,755 Respect. 969 00:45:42,671 --> 00:45:44,421 Or maybe Sergei could have done it. 970 00:45:46,046 --> 00:45:48,213 - Yeah. - Okay. So you're not guaranteeing it. 971 00:45:48,296 --> 00:45:49,588 No, not a hundred percent. No. 972 00:45:53,921 --> 00:45:56,088 Oh! Bless you. 973 00:45:56,755 --> 00:45:58,213 Would you like some Allegra? 974 00:45:58,713 --> 00:46:01,046 - I doubt that would be useful. - I know. 975 00:46:01,130 --> 00:46:03,338 It doesn't work. I tried to tell that to Nick. 976 00:46:06,046 --> 00:46:07,380 Do you need something? 977 00:46:07,963 --> 00:46:09,921 Uh, no. Mm-mm. 978 00:46:10,755 --> 00:46:13,880 The guy that throws me off the most-- Cavendish-- 979 00:46:13,963 --> 00:46:17,921 to me, he seems like he's compensating for something, 980 00:46:18,005 --> 00:46:20,046 with the Great Gatsby look and the jawline 981 00:46:20,130 --> 00:46:22,380 and the "hey, I'm so gorgeous." Am I right? 982 00:46:22,463 --> 00:46:23,338 Mm-hmm. 983 00:46:23,421 --> 00:46:25,880 There's absolutely nothing wrong with Charles Cavendish. 984 00:46:25,963 --> 00:46:27,630 - Isn't that the-- - Except... 985 00:46:28,213 --> 00:46:30,130 he probably murdered his uncle. 986 00:46:31,130 --> 00:46:32,880 Well, that's one thing wrong. 987 00:46:34,505 --> 00:46:36,380 ...comes to the checkered flag! 988 00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:37,838 It's Juan Carlos! 989 00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:41,838 Winner of this year's Monte Carlo Grand Prix! 990 00:46:41,921 --> 00:46:43,880 I find that Suzi Nakamura very suspicious. 991 00:46:43,963 --> 00:46:46,005 She's the only one who didn't have a motive. 992 00:46:46,088 --> 00:46:49,005 - It was Cavendish and you know it. - You just-- No, you just don't like him. 993 00:46:49,088 --> 00:46:52,005 I don't like him. I don't. I hate his guts, but that's not it. 994 00:46:52,088 --> 00:46:54,838 - Did you just steal all of those? - He's the sole blood heir. 995 00:46:54,921 --> 00:46:57,796 He stands to make the biggest claim for the fortune. 996 00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:58,838 I want one of these. 997 00:46:58,921 --> 00:47:01,380 - Malcolm stole his fiancée. - Okay. 998 00:47:01,463 --> 00:47:03,171 That's all three motives. 999 00:47:03,255 --> 00:47:05,046 Money, love, revenge. 1000 00:47:05,130 --> 00:47:06,838 We went past it. I don't know where we are. 1001 00:47:06,921 --> 00:47:08,838 We're over here. Will you please try one of these? 1002 00:47:08,921 --> 00:47:10,796 No! Oh, my God. You know what? 1003 00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:14,088 I think you just think it's Cavendish 'cause you're jealous of him. 1004 00:47:14,171 --> 00:47:15,921 - Oh, God. - Yeah. 1005 00:47:16,005 --> 00:47:17,921 - I'm jealous of him. - You are. 1006 00:47:18,005 --> 00:47:19,546 What? Why? What am I jealous of? 1007 00:47:19,630 --> 00:47:22,588 What is there to be jealous-- He's rich. He's charming. 1008 00:47:23,171 --> 00:47:24,630 He smells great. 1009 00:47:24,713 --> 00:47:26,296 What do you mean? What's he smell like? 1010 00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:28,880 He smells like he just came out of the dryer. 1011 00:47:32,421 --> 00:47:34,046 What the-- What the-- 1012 00:47:38,088 --> 00:47:39,255 No, no, no. 1013 00:47:39,338 --> 00:47:40,838 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 1014 00:47:40,921 --> 00:47:42,546 We should test that for fingerprints first. 1015 00:47:42,630 --> 00:47:44,921 Okay. Do you have the fingerprint testing kit? 1016 00:47:45,296 --> 00:47:46,921 - What? - 'Cause I didn't pack mine. 1017 00:47:47,005 --> 00:47:48,046 Is it in your bag? 1018 00:47:48,130 --> 00:47:49,296 Stop it! Come on. 1019 00:47:50,213 --> 00:47:51,088 Hurry. 1020 00:47:51,713 --> 00:47:53,296 Oh, this is so crazy. 1021 00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:56,796 Oh, God. Seriously? 1022 00:47:58,921 --> 00:48:00,171 Oh, got it. 1023 00:48:00,255 --> 00:48:02,088 Will you please just go see a chiropractor? 1024 00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:03,213 It's gonna be fine. 1025 00:48:04,463 --> 00:48:07,296 "Come to suite 802." 1026 00:48:07,380 --> 00:48:08,713 ♪ Dum, dum, dum ♪ 1027 00:48:08,796 --> 00:48:11,296 - We have to go to 802. - We're not going to 802. Stop! 1028 00:48:11,380 --> 00:48:12,463 - Why? - It's a trap. 1029 00:48:12,546 --> 00:48:14,963 Why wouldn't whoever just knocked just come in and talk to us? 1030 00:48:15,255 --> 00:48:16,796 Maybe he's being watched by the killer. 1031 00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,005 What if we're being watched by the killer? 1032 00:48:19,671 --> 00:48:20,880 What if he was in here? 1033 00:48:21,588 --> 00:48:23,713 Maybe he stole my Peanut M&Ms. 1034 00:48:23,796 --> 00:48:25,755 I stole your Peanut M&Ms. 1035 00:48:26,171 --> 00:48:27,171 You stole my Peanut M&Ms? 1036 00:48:27,255 --> 00:48:29,463 - I wanted to see if they tasted the same! - You got to stop eating. 1037 00:48:29,546 --> 00:48:30,838 You're gonna gain it all back. 1038 00:48:30,921 --> 00:48:32,713 I'm going to 802. Are you coming with me? 1039 00:48:32,796 --> 00:48:34,463 Okay, wait. Let me just... 1040 00:48:34,546 --> 00:48:36,546 - What? - ...figure something out. 1041 00:48:37,296 --> 00:48:38,380 God damn. 1042 00:48:43,005 --> 00:48:45,338 - What are you doing? - It's a weapon. 1043 00:48:45,421 --> 00:48:46,296 That's a lamp. 1044 00:48:46,380 --> 00:48:48,713 Not when I crack someone over the head with it. 1045 00:48:48,796 --> 00:48:50,421 Will you stop questioning everything I do. 1046 00:48:50,505 --> 00:48:52,088 Well, everything you do is questionable. 1047 00:49:01,755 --> 00:49:02,963 That's 808. 1048 00:49:15,630 --> 00:49:16,505 Hello? 1049 00:49:18,463 --> 00:49:19,463 Note sender? 1050 00:49:21,963 --> 00:49:24,213 You told us to come to 802. Are you there? 1051 00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,005 Are you dead? 1052 00:49:27,921 --> 00:49:29,338 He might be in the bathroom. 1053 00:49:34,088 --> 00:49:36,088 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1054 00:49:36,171 --> 00:49:37,463 Sit on the bed. 1055 00:49:37,546 --> 00:49:39,255 You speak-- I thought you didn't speak. 1056 00:49:39,338 --> 00:49:40,838 Shut up. Sit on the bed. 1057 00:49:40,921 --> 00:49:42,171 - I'm sitting! - Shut up. Sit down. 1058 00:49:42,255 --> 00:49:44,921 We're gonna sit in front of the bed. All good. 1059 00:49:45,671 --> 00:49:47,755 I cannot keep his secrets anymore. 1060 00:49:48,338 --> 00:49:50,088 You mean the Colonel's, right? 1061 00:49:50,171 --> 00:49:53,588 The Colonel's secrets? I know, it's so hard to keep secrets. 1062 00:49:53,671 --> 00:49:55,880 It really is. You know, I have a friend named Gwen, 1063 00:49:55,963 --> 00:49:57,838 and she has a box that she keeps under her bed-- 1064 00:49:57,921 --> 00:49:59,796 Look, don't give me that hairdresser shit. 1065 00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:01,505 Just shut up. Listen. 1066 00:50:02,755 --> 00:50:05,088 Copenhagen, 1994. 1067 00:50:06,921 --> 00:50:08,755 We were leaving a state dinner. 1068 00:50:10,713 --> 00:50:12,588 I did not see the bomber, 1069 00:50:13,671 --> 00:50:15,130 but the Colonel did. 1070 00:50:15,421 --> 00:50:16,255 Whoa. 1071 00:50:16,338 --> 00:50:19,213 He threw his body across Mr. Quince. 1072 00:50:20,338 --> 00:50:21,546 He was hero. 1073 00:50:22,255 --> 00:50:25,088 For nine months, the Colonel lay in a coma. 1074 00:50:26,213 --> 00:50:27,630 And when he awoke, 1075 00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:32,880 he find his eye is not the only thing he lost. 1076 00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:35,213 They blew off his dick. I knew it. I knew it. 1077 00:50:35,296 --> 00:50:37,630 - His hand. His hand, honey. - The dick. He's saying the dick. 1078 00:50:37,713 --> 00:50:39,213 - No, no, no. - He doesn't have a hand! 1079 00:50:39,296 --> 00:50:41,088 - I'm no talk about dick! - All right. 1080 00:50:42,713 --> 00:50:44,296 I talk about her. 1081 00:50:44,380 --> 00:50:45,588 - Me? - Her? 1082 00:50:45,671 --> 00:50:46,671 No, no, no. 1083 00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:51,588 Madeleine... 1084 00:50:52,046 --> 00:50:53,546 LeBoutillier. 1085 00:50:55,588 --> 00:50:58,380 The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. 1086 00:50:59,296 --> 00:51:03,130 She was the Colonel's fiancée when the bomb exploded. 1087 00:51:04,630 --> 00:51:06,088 And when he awoke... 1088 00:51:07,796 --> 00:51:09,880 she was Mr. Quince's wife. 1089 00:51:10,338 --> 00:51:11,671 What the hell is with this guy? 1090 00:51:11,755 --> 00:51:14,421 - What, honestly, is his problem? - Can he get his own woman maybe once? 1091 00:51:14,505 --> 00:51:15,838 And then she died. 1092 00:51:16,130 --> 00:51:17,296 No! 1093 00:51:17,671 --> 00:51:18,838 In childbirth. 1094 00:51:18,921 --> 00:51:19,796 - No! - Damn. 1095 00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,880 The child died, too. A boy. 1096 00:51:22,338 --> 00:51:24,671 A boy who would have inherited it all. 1097 00:51:25,588 --> 00:51:29,088 After that, the Colonel never mentioned Madeleine again, 1098 00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,880 except for one night. 1099 00:51:32,963 --> 00:51:34,921 On the anniversary of her death, 1100 00:51:35,296 --> 00:51:38,088 he came to me, he was drinking. He say... 1101 00:51:40,005 --> 00:51:40,880 "Sergei." 1102 00:51:41,338 --> 00:51:42,630 He's doing impressions now. 1103 00:51:43,046 --> 00:51:46,505 "If you were to kill this Mr. Quince, 1104 00:51:46,588 --> 00:51:48,046 how would you do it?" 1105 00:51:48,963 --> 00:51:50,130 And I say, 1106 00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,338 "Find isolated place, 1107 00:51:53,963 --> 00:51:55,838 create confusion, 1108 00:51:55,921 --> 00:51:58,755 make sure there are others with motive." 1109 00:51:59,713 --> 00:52:02,588 I told him how to kill the man! 1110 00:52:03,005 --> 00:52:05,588 - Holy shit! This is incredible! - Thank you. 1111 00:52:05,671 --> 00:52:08,838 Okay. So the Colonel killed Malcolm and Tobey over lost love. 1112 00:52:08,921 --> 00:52:10,213 - Got it. Perfect. - This is insane. 1113 00:52:10,296 --> 00:52:12,255 Will you just say all of that one more time, 1114 00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:13,796 but can you say it from the top? 1115 00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,963 - I've gotta do a voice memo. - She screws this up a lot. 1116 00:52:16,046 --> 00:52:18,338 - Just ask Siri. - Swipe it up. 1117 00:52:18,421 --> 00:52:19,546 - Swipe it up. - I did swipe up. 1118 00:52:19,630 --> 00:52:20,463 Say, "Siri, 1119 00:52:20,546 --> 00:52:22,630 I would like to make voice memo." 1120 00:52:25,921 --> 00:52:28,005 Get into wardrobe. You are in danger. 1121 00:52:28,088 --> 00:52:30,546 - Get in the wardrobe, you said? - You are in danger. Right now. 1122 00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:32,838 - Quickly. - Jesus. I don't know-- Ow! 1123 00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:36,338 And whatever you hear, do not come out till I say so. 1124 00:52:36,421 --> 00:52:37,463 - Yes, sir. - Yes. 1125 00:52:40,046 --> 00:52:41,630 You. What do you want? 1126 00:52:42,921 --> 00:52:45,296 No, they're not here. You should go. 1127 00:52:48,796 --> 00:52:50,296 Where's the lamp? 1128 00:52:50,755 --> 00:52:53,380 - I left it outside. - Why isn't it in here? 1129 00:52:53,463 --> 00:52:56,088 - Now you like the lamp? You're ridiculous. - Well, we needed-- 1130 00:52:56,171 --> 00:52:58,671 - Let me open the door. - Wait, wait, wait! 1131 00:52:58,755 --> 00:53:00,380 Sh. 1132 00:53:03,588 --> 00:53:04,713 Oh, thank God. 1133 00:53:05,213 --> 00:53:06,130 Killer... 1134 00:53:06,671 --> 00:53:07,546 is... 1135 00:53:07,630 --> 00:53:08,880 What? 1136 00:53:10,630 --> 00:53:12,088 Oh, God, no! No, no, no! 1137 00:53:12,171 --> 00:53:13,963 Oh, my God! 1138 00:53:14,046 --> 00:53:15,505 Is he dead? Is he dead? 1139 00:53:16,421 --> 00:53:17,296 He's dead! 1140 00:53:17,963 --> 00:53:19,296 Do we call housekeeping? 1141 00:53:19,380 --> 00:53:20,921 Oh! Honey! 1142 00:53:21,005 --> 00:53:22,713 Oh, my God! 1143 00:53:23,546 --> 00:53:24,671 Lock the door! 1144 00:53:24,755 --> 00:53:26,171 Oh, God! 1145 00:53:26,255 --> 00:53:27,755 Oh, my God. 1146 00:53:29,421 --> 00:53:30,505 Go! Out of the window! 1147 00:53:30,588 --> 00:53:33,296 What are you doing? 1148 00:53:34,338 --> 00:53:35,880 Okay, there's a ledge. 1149 00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:37,796 That's not a ledge, that's an edge! 1150 00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,713 - Here we go. - Oh, my God. 1151 00:53:39,796 --> 00:53:42,838 I gotcha, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. Slow. 1152 00:53:42,921 --> 00:53:45,296 - Oh, right there. - No! Oh, God. 1153 00:53:45,380 --> 00:53:46,588 Come on. 1154 00:53:46,671 --> 00:53:48,213 - Don't even look down. - Oh! 1155 00:53:48,296 --> 00:53:49,505 - Don't look down. - Oh, my God! 1156 00:53:49,588 --> 00:53:51,671 - Told you not to look down. - It's so far. 1157 00:53:51,755 --> 00:53:52,796 Oh, my God. 1158 00:54:01,546 --> 00:54:03,921 He flosses angrier than you! 1159 00:54:10,088 --> 00:54:11,713 We got an empty room. Jackpot. 1160 00:54:11,796 --> 00:54:13,755 - Okay, we're gonna get up on this letter. - Okay. 1161 00:54:13,838 --> 00:54:15,671 Ready? Go. 1162 00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:18,630 God! 1163 00:54:18,713 --> 00:54:19,838 Oh, my God! 1164 00:54:21,713 --> 00:54:23,588 - You okay? Come on. - That was the scariest thing. 1165 00:54:23,671 --> 00:54:26,505 - We gotta go. All right. I love you. - Oh, my God. 1166 00:54:26,588 --> 00:54:28,880 - I love you. I'm so scared. - Let's go, let's go, let's go. 1167 00:54:31,755 --> 00:54:34,005 Uh... What's in here? Uh... 1168 00:54:35,088 --> 00:54:36,880 No, you're not going back out there. 1169 00:54:38,046 --> 00:54:39,921 - Oh, yes! Finally! - Come here. 1170 00:54:40,588 --> 00:54:41,963 - Kiss me, Vik. - Oh! 1171 00:54:42,046 --> 00:54:43,755 Oh, kiss me. Kiss me here. 1172 00:54:43,838 --> 00:54:44,921 - Where? - Here. 1173 00:54:45,005 --> 00:54:47,380 - God, I love it. Quick, get me to the bed. - Jesus Christ. 1174 00:54:47,463 --> 00:54:48,630 - Get up. - Yes! 1175 00:54:48,713 --> 00:54:51,671 I'm gonna drink you up like a milkshake without a straw! 1176 00:54:51,755 --> 00:54:53,296 Yeah. Wow! 1177 00:54:53,380 --> 00:54:54,880 - That's right. - Vanilla milkshake! 1178 00:54:54,963 --> 00:54:56,838 Vanilla, chocolate, whatever! 1179 00:54:56,921 --> 00:54:57,796 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1180 00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,088 - Here we go! - Wow! 1181 00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:02,088 Yeah! I hope the hotel's got insurance for these springs 1182 00:55:02,171 --> 00:55:03,630 'cause I'm gonna bust this bed up. 1183 00:55:03,713 --> 00:55:04,671 Oh, my God! 1184 00:55:04,755 --> 00:55:06,880 - You're much stronger than you look, Vik! - That's right! 1185 00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,630 - You ready for this? - I don't know if I am! 1186 00:55:10,713 --> 00:55:12,630 Oh, Grace! 1187 00:55:13,005 --> 00:55:16,213 - Grace! Oh, Grace! - Huh? Why do you keep saying Grace? 1188 00:55:16,296 --> 00:55:18,338 Darling, it's the only thing that gets me in the mood. 1189 00:55:18,421 --> 00:55:22,046 Grace! You look so good for your age! 1190 00:55:22,130 --> 00:55:25,588 - So good for your age! Oh, God! - Your skin is beautiful! 1191 00:55:25,671 --> 00:55:28,796 - You have no wrinkles... - No wrinkles any-- 1192 00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:29,755 Anywhere! 1193 00:55:29,838 --> 00:55:32,630 Oh, my God! Grace, you're so-- 1194 00:55:32,713 --> 00:55:33,796 Oh, God! 1195 00:55:36,588 --> 00:55:37,880 - Uh-oh. - Vik. 1196 00:55:37,963 --> 00:55:39,005 Mm-hmm? 1197 00:55:39,088 --> 00:55:40,171 What happened? 1198 00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:43,838 Maybe we should, like, conversate a little bit. 1199 00:55:43,921 --> 00:55:45,546 Get to know each other. Know what I mean? 1200 00:55:45,630 --> 00:55:48,921 Like, eye to eye, really connect. Tell me about your favorite band. 1201 00:55:50,046 --> 00:55:53,505 I'm going to the casino. Maybe I'll get lucky there. 1202 00:55:53,588 --> 00:55:56,463 Look, look, look! Please don't tell anybody about this 1203 00:55:56,546 --> 00:55:58,713 'cause I've got some mad sex cred in these parts, yeah. 1204 00:55:58,796 --> 00:55:59,921 My people know me. 1205 00:56:00,005 --> 00:56:01,296 I'll buy you a hat! 1206 00:56:02,963 --> 00:56:05,088 I can't believe this just happened. 1207 00:56:05,171 --> 00:56:06,546 Okay, okay. 1208 00:56:08,046 --> 00:56:09,588 All right. We gotta calm down. 1209 00:56:09,671 --> 00:56:11,796 - This has been a really weird day, huh? - Yeah. 1210 00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,671 Okay. Let's just get out of this place. 1211 00:56:13,755 --> 00:56:17,296 Absolutely. Someplace with beer though, please. 1212 00:56:17,380 --> 00:56:18,796 "I'll go buy you a hat." 1213 00:56:21,713 --> 00:56:24,588 Sergei was trying to tell us the Colonel did it, 1214 00:56:24,671 --> 00:56:27,713 but then he gets shot. There's no way the Colonel shot him 1215 00:56:27,796 --> 00:56:29,463 'cause the Colonel was having a floss party. 1216 00:56:29,546 --> 00:56:31,838 Did you see how crazy he was going with the teeth flossing? 1217 00:56:31,921 --> 00:56:34,255 - I did. - What did he have in there? A buffet? 1218 00:56:38,463 --> 00:56:40,171 - Um... - Oh, my gosh. 1219 00:56:45,213 --> 00:56:46,963 - What's he saying? - I don't know. 1220 00:56:47,046 --> 00:56:49,171 Well, you took French in high school, didn't you? 1221 00:56:49,255 --> 00:56:52,380 I don't remember high school! What did you take in high school? 1222 00:56:52,463 --> 00:56:54,588 - Latin. - Oh, great. Who takes freakin' Latin? 1223 00:56:54,671 --> 00:56:56,380 - People who have a hot Latin teacher. - Shh! 1224 00:56:58,796 --> 00:57:00,963 Okay, so something, something... 1225 00:57:01,046 --> 00:57:03,296 Something cake. Something's frosted. 1226 00:57:03,380 --> 00:57:04,671 Okay. You're fired. You're fired. 1227 00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:06,338 - Okay, I told you-- - Excuse me, sir. 1228 00:57:06,421 --> 00:57:09,255 Could you translate that for us, please? S'il vous plaît? 1229 00:57:09,671 --> 00:57:11,713 Uh, the TV says that, uh... 1230 00:57:12,380 --> 00:57:14,630 you are the most wanted... for... 1231 00:57:15,713 --> 00:57:16,713 for meurtre. 1232 00:57:16,796 --> 00:57:18,505 - No, no, no. - Okay, no, no. We... 1233 00:57:18,588 --> 00:57:20,505 This is a complete misunderstanding, okay? 1234 00:57:20,588 --> 00:57:22,005 We were just around... 1235 00:57:22,088 --> 00:57:24,213 - We saw-- - ...a lot of people that happened to die, 1236 00:57:24,296 --> 00:57:25,421 but we didn't murt. 1237 00:57:25,505 --> 00:57:28,296 You are to be arrested at first sight. 1238 00:57:28,380 --> 00:57:29,880 - Us? - So, here's what we do. 1239 00:57:29,963 --> 00:57:32,505 What are you talking about? What are you doing? 1240 00:57:32,588 --> 00:57:34,505 They can't track our SIM card now. 1241 00:57:34,588 --> 00:57:36,505 Yeah, then pull the SIM card out. 1242 00:57:36,588 --> 00:57:39,005 You don't just submerge our phones into a bucket of beer. 1243 00:57:39,088 --> 00:57:42,713 Now-- Now he's saying that madame is hairdresser, 1244 00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:44,963 you are, uh... police officer? 1245 00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:46,921 No, he's-- he's a detective. 1246 00:57:47,213 --> 00:57:48,338 Ah. No, he's not. 1247 00:57:48,421 --> 00:57:49,796 - Yes, he is. - Yes, I am! Yes, I am! 1248 00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:52,338 No, no, no. He says that you have, uh, confessed 1249 00:57:52,421 --> 00:57:54,213 to lying about that you are detective. 1250 00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,296 What? No. Now he's making stuff up. 1251 00:57:56,380 --> 00:57:59,130 TV says you have failed your detective exam many, many times. 1252 00:57:59,213 --> 00:58:01,630 All right! Enough translato. That's not-- 1253 00:58:01,713 --> 00:58:03,921 You're just improvising, pal, and it's getting weird. 1254 00:58:04,005 --> 00:58:05,296 What-- What is he talking about? 1255 00:58:05,380 --> 00:58:07,296 I will repeat this message in English. 1256 00:58:07,796 --> 00:58:08,963 Nick Spitz... 1257 00:58:09,380 --> 00:58:10,671 is many things, 1258 00:58:10,755 --> 00:58:12,046 but not a detective. 1259 00:58:14,463 --> 00:58:15,588 Well, I heard that. 1260 00:58:15,671 --> 00:58:17,713 I will repeat this message in Spanish. 1261 00:58:17,796 --> 00:58:18,921 Did you lie to me? 1262 00:58:19,963 --> 00:58:21,505 I didn't-- I didn't lie. 1263 00:58:21,588 --> 00:58:23,546 - The guy-- The guy was-- - Oh, God. No, no, no. 1264 00:58:24,338 --> 00:58:26,046 Whoa. Hey. 1265 00:58:26,130 --> 00:58:28,046 - No. - Hun, hun, hun. 1266 00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:30,880 This whole thing's just-- just very complicated. 1267 00:58:30,963 --> 00:58:33,921 Complicated, yeah. I thought people were simple. 1268 00:58:34,005 --> 00:58:36,046 Audrey, please. 1269 00:58:36,130 --> 00:58:38,880 What? Did you lie about getting that raise, too? 1270 00:58:40,921 --> 00:58:43,130 How are we affording this trip? 1271 00:58:44,213 --> 00:58:47,380 You made me feel like I had to take you on this honeymoon. 1272 00:58:47,463 --> 00:58:50,755 You told me you already booked this honeymoon. 1273 00:58:51,171 --> 00:58:53,380 You gave this to me. This was my anniversary gift. 1274 00:58:53,463 --> 00:58:55,088 - Okay. - You lied about that, too? 1275 00:58:55,171 --> 00:58:56,630 We'll get into all that, okay? 1276 00:58:56,713 --> 00:59:00,213 But right now, I gotta figure out how we're gonna get out of this situation. 1277 00:59:00,296 --> 00:59:03,130 You have to figure this out? What do you think I've been doing? 1278 00:59:03,213 --> 00:59:05,005 This is what I do for a living, sweetheart! 1279 00:59:05,088 --> 00:59:06,796 You're a goddamn hairdresser! 1280 00:59:09,171 --> 00:59:10,255 - I'm sorry. - Whoa. 1281 00:59:12,921 --> 00:59:15,088 - Where you going? - I need a minute. 1282 00:59:15,171 --> 00:59:17,171 We don't have a minute! 1283 00:59:17,255 --> 00:59:19,421 Just leave me alone. Don't you follow me. 1284 00:59:39,755 --> 00:59:41,880 You need to get out of Monte Carlo right away. 1285 00:59:42,546 --> 00:59:44,755 I got you into this, I'll help get you out. Come with me. 1286 00:59:45,380 --> 00:59:47,255 - Now! We have to go. - Right. 1287 00:59:49,546 --> 00:59:51,546 - Lake Como, back roads. - Yes, sir. 1288 00:59:55,338 --> 00:59:57,463 - Where's Nick? - I don't know. I don't care. 1289 01:00:25,963 --> 01:00:27,588 Jimmy boy, it's Nick. 1290 01:00:27,671 --> 01:00:29,255 Where are you? 1291 01:00:29,338 --> 01:00:31,130 You guys are all over the news. 1292 01:00:31,213 --> 01:00:32,630 They say you killed three people. 1293 01:00:32,713 --> 01:00:33,921 Do you think that's possible? 1294 01:00:34,671 --> 01:00:36,296 With your aim? Hell, no. 1295 01:00:36,380 --> 01:00:39,380 Exactly. Now I'm gonna text you two international numbers. 1296 01:00:39,463 --> 01:00:41,838 Can you link them together so I can follow one from the other? 1297 01:00:42,255 --> 01:00:44,046 Are you trying to get my ass fired? 1298 01:00:44,130 --> 01:00:46,046 But hell, yeah. 1299 01:00:46,130 --> 01:00:46,963 Thank you. 1300 01:00:47,046 --> 01:00:49,796 There's one more thing I want you to check into for me. 1301 01:00:54,296 --> 01:00:55,630 What are we doing? 1302 01:00:55,713 --> 01:00:58,255 I just have to dash in for a quick appointment with my lawyer. 1303 01:00:58,671 --> 01:01:00,838 We're going to read Malcolm's will at the villa later on, 1304 01:01:00,921 --> 01:01:02,755 and I'm going to get what's mine. 1305 01:01:02,838 --> 01:01:06,005 Charles, that just sounded very suspicious. 1306 01:01:06,421 --> 01:01:07,921 What about this week doesn't? 1307 01:01:15,296 --> 01:01:16,338 Oh, God. 1308 01:01:21,046 --> 01:01:22,505 Oh, my God. Claritin. 1309 01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:27,505 This is Japanese Claritin. 1310 01:02:16,588 --> 01:02:17,546 Hello? 1311 01:02:19,838 --> 01:02:20,838 Charles? 1312 01:02:27,088 --> 01:02:27,921 Audrey! 1313 01:02:28,921 --> 01:02:30,005 - Ow! - God! 1314 01:02:30,088 --> 01:02:31,046 - Ow! - What the-- 1315 01:02:31,130 --> 01:02:31,963 What the-- 1316 01:02:32,713 --> 01:02:34,338 What are you doing here? 1317 01:02:34,421 --> 01:02:37,088 I followed Suzi here. 1318 01:02:37,171 --> 01:02:38,588 - Suzi's here? - Yes. 1319 01:02:38,671 --> 01:02:42,421 Okay, Cavendish came here to find Suzi. I'm telling you, Cavendish is in on this. 1320 01:02:42,505 --> 01:02:43,630 I know. I knew that! 1321 01:02:43,713 --> 01:02:46,630 Okay. I just found a box of Japanese Claritin 1322 01:02:46,713 --> 01:02:49,046 in the back of Cavendish's limo. 1323 01:02:49,130 --> 01:02:51,171 So what? They were planning this the whole damn time? 1324 01:02:51,255 --> 01:02:53,088 The whole time. This was their plan. 1325 01:02:53,171 --> 01:02:55,171 - So they kill Malcolm, they kill Tobey... - Yeah. 1326 01:02:55,255 --> 01:02:57,338 ...before Malcolm has time to sign the new will. 1327 01:02:57,421 --> 01:02:59,546 - Right. - That way, Cavendish inherits everything. 1328 01:02:59,838 --> 01:03:01,130 And he splits it with Suzi. 1329 01:03:01,213 --> 01:03:03,713 And if they killed him after, then Suzi would have inherited. 1330 01:03:03,796 --> 01:03:05,880 - They still would have split that. - It was a win-win. 1331 01:03:05,963 --> 01:03:06,838 Oh, look at that. 1332 01:03:07,505 --> 01:03:08,921 Who figured that whole thing out? 1333 01:03:09,380 --> 01:03:11,296 The hairdresser. Mm-mm. The hairdresser. 1334 01:03:16,171 --> 01:03:17,421 I got you! 1335 01:03:17,505 --> 01:03:18,421 Jesus! Oh, my God. 1336 01:03:18,796 --> 01:03:20,296 It's just like Death at the Library! 1337 01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,255 What happens in Death at the Library? 1338 01:03:22,755 --> 01:03:25,130 They died. That's why it's called Death at the Library. 1339 01:03:29,463 --> 01:03:31,130 Nick, what are you doing? 1340 01:03:31,630 --> 01:03:33,671 We are going to push this over on the count of three, 1341 01:03:33,755 --> 01:03:35,505 - and then we're gonna run. - We're gonna what? 1342 01:03:35,755 --> 01:03:37,588 - Don't you trust me? - No! 1343 01:03:38,255 --> 01:03:39,880 Ready? One! 1344 01:03:41,380 --> 01:03:42,630 Two! 1345 01:03:43,338 --> 01:03:44,588 Three! 1346 01:03:56,255 --> 01:03:57,505 Oh, look! There! 1347 01:04:03,588 --> 01:04:06,088 Oh! Sorry! Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry. 1348 01:04:06,171 --> 01:04:07,171 Come on. 1349 01:04:10,630 --> 01:04:11,838 - Is that-- - Is that Juan Carlos? 1350 01:04:12,088 --> 01:04:14,005 - Juan Carlos! - Hey! 1351 01:04:14,296 --> 01:04:15,171 Hello! 1352 01:04:15,255 --> 01:04:16,421 - Juan Carlos! - How am I? 1353 01:04:16,505 --> 01:04:18,505 - No, no. Suzi! Suzi! - Suzi! Suzi! Which way is Suzi? 1354 01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,963 - Married to Malcolm. - You two married! Good! 1355 01:04:21,046 --> 01:04:22,046 - No! - No! 1356 01:04:22,130 --> 01:04:25,963 Suzi vidisti? Putamus esse illa interfectorem. 1357 01:04:26,421 --> 01:04:28,255 - Yes! - Latin, baby! 1358 01:04:28,338 --> 01:04:30,046 - Still the international language! - I got it! 1359 01:04:32,255 --> 01:04:33,296 Shit. 1360 01:04:35,046 --> 01:04:36,255 - Oh! - Yeah! 1361 01:04:41,963 --> 01:04:42,921 Where'd she go? 1362 01:04:43,588 --> 01:04:44,630 She was right there. 1363 01:04:45,213 --> 01:04:47,755 You should have never come to Lake Como. 1364 01:04:48,046 --> 01:04:50,130 - Wait a minute. - We know about you and Cavendish. 1365 01:04:50,213 --> 01:04:52,713 - You know nothing. - We know you're still in love, 1366 01:04:52,796 --> 01:04:54,880 and we know that love is tough without money. 1367 01:04:54,963 --> 01:04:55,838 Isn't it, Suzi? 1368 01:04:56,088 --> 01:04:58,380 I'll take your word for it. You're the one whose shoes 1369 01:04:58,463 --> 01:05:00,046 still got a sticker from Marshalls on it. 1370 01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:02,171 - They have name brands now! - How dare you? 1371 01:05:02,255 --> 01:05:03,838 - They have name brands now! - How dare you? 1372 01:05:03,921 --> 01:05:05,713 - What? - These are from Target. 1373 01:05:05,796 --> 01:05:08,130 - How could you not tell me? - I don't look at your-- 1374 01:05:08,213 --> 01:05:09,671 Shut up! 1375 01:05:09,755 --> 01:05:12,255 - Oh! - Suzi, don't. Please, don't do this. 1376 01:05:12,338 --> 01:05:14,880 No matter what you do, you're not gonna be safe. I'm telling you. 1377 01:05:14,963 --> 01:05:17,255 One murderer always double-crosses the other murderer. 1378 01:05:17,338 --> 01:05:19,880 - She reads the books. - It's just a cliché of the genre! 1379 01:05:19,963 --> 01:05:21,296 I'm telling you! 1380 01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:25,463 Hey! Halloween! 1381 01:05:27,171 --> 01:05:28,671 No, no, no! Oh, my God! 1382 01:05:28,755 --> 01:05:29,588 Go, go, go! 1383 01:05:30,005 --> 01:05:32,130 Cavendish, you move, I'll blow your head off! 1384 01:05:35,296 --> 01:05:36,463 Shoot at him! 1385 01:05:40,505 --> 01:05:42,463 Oh, babe, you're the worst shot! 1386 01:05:42,713 --> 01:05:45,088 Those were warning shots, honey! 1387 01:05:45,171 --> 01:05:47,296 - Oh, yes! I go fast! - Go! 1388 01:05:48,380 --> 01:05:50,880 Ambulance! Emergencia! 1389 01:05:53,921 --> 01:05:54,755 Oh! 1390 01:06:00,213 --> 01:06:02,380 Okay, Suzi. You've gotta tell me who did this. 1391 01:06:02,463 --> 01:06:03,921 Slow down. Don't use your words. 1392 01:06:04,005 --> 01:06:06,130 Let's charade it, okay. Just tell me with your hand. 1393 01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:08,463 Uh, claw. Bear claw. 1394 01:06:08,546 --> 01:06:09,880 No. Grizzly bear claw. 1395 01:06:09,963 --> 01:06:11,671 Oh! Chewy. Chewy. 1396 01:06:11,755 --> 01:06:13,463 So it's Sergei? No, Sergei's dead. 1397 01:06:13,963 --> 01:06:15,046 Hey! 1398 01:06:16,130 --> 01:06:19,046 Have you got tires on your feet? Good God! 1399 01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:21,838 Spooning. Eating. Uh... 1400 01:06:21,921 --> 01:06:23,838 Ice cream. No, no. Gelato. Gelato? 1401 01:06:23,921 --> 01:06:26,880 Oh, God. It's amazing how pretty you are when you're-- I'm sorry. 1402 01:06:27,130 --> 01:06:27,963 Hey. 1403 01:06:28,046 --> 01:06:29,505 Hey! Come on! 1404 01:06:31,921 --> 01:06:33,255 Oh, shoot! 1405 01:06:45,463 --> 01:06:46,380 Hey! 1406 01:06:49,838 --> 01:06:51,505 Ba-ba-ba-ba! 1407 01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,005 Crazy... crazy... Crazy mad love! 1408 01:06:54,255 --> 01:06:56,463 It's crazy 'cause you're madly in love with Cavendish. 1409 01:06:57,005 --> 01:06:59,005 It's Cavendish, no? Sleeping With the Ene-- 1410 01:06:59,088 --> 01:07:00,130 Sleeping. 1411 01:07:00,213 --> 01:07:01,338 You're not sleeping. 1412 01:07:01,630 --> 01:07:04,213 - She's dead now? - I don't know why this keeps happening! 1413 01:07:04,296 --> 01:07:06,088 Let's go! We gotta get out of here. 1414 01:07:06,171 --> 01:07:07,880 - Oh, my God. Come on. - Where? 1415 01:07:08,838 --> 01:07:11,171 Close the airports! Search house to house! 1416 01:07:11,255 --> 01:07:14,088 As God as my witness, I will find Nick and Audrey Spitz. 1417 01:07:14,838 --> 01:07:16,005 - Inspector? - Yes? 1418 01:07:16,088 --> 01:07:18,421 I have Nick and Audrey Spitz on the phone for you. 1419 01:07:18,505 --> 01:07:20,296 - Huh? - Nick and Audrey Spitz. 1420 01:07:22,546 --> 01:07:23,380 Where are you? 1421 01:07:23,713 --> 01:07:26,338 We are on our way to Quince's villa right now. 1422 01:07:27,046 --> 01:07:29,213 Oh, okay. 1423 01:07:29,296 --> 01:07:32,046 I'm sorry, I wasn't prepared for you to actually answer that. 1424 01:07:32,463 --> 01:07:33,880 We are being framed right now. 1425 01:07:33,963 --> 01:07:36,921 You meet us at the villa, we will reveal the killer. 1426 01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:38,880 That kinda rhymed. 1427 01:07:39,838 --> 01:07:41,005 Which is cool, I think. 1428 01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:53,671 - Look at this place. - Let's go. 1429 01:07:53,755 --> 01:07:55,630 - Oh, my God. - This is big. 1430 01:07:55,713 --> 01:07:59,463 This is a big house. This is what they call rich people shit. 1431 01:07:59,546 --> 01:08:01,588 Lord Cavendish is expecting us. 1432 01:08:01,921 --> 01:08:03,671 Second floor, eighth door on the left. 1433 01:08:03,755 --> 01:08:05,588 Yes, that's right. That's what he told us, yeah. 1434 01:08:05,671 --> 01:08:08,755 Okay, so take a five-spotter. 1435 01:08:08,838 --> 01:08:11,588 Your five euros is how much American-wise? 1436 01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,005 Six American dollars. 1437 01:08:13,088 --> 01:08:15,296 Oh, that's, uh... that's more than I-- 1438 01:08:15,380 --> 01:08:18,088 - Can I get a half a euro back-- - Oh, God. Please, Nick. Thank you. 1439 01:08:18,171 --> 01:08:20,130 I didn't know they were ahead of us with the money. 1440 01:08:20,921 --> 01:08:23,046 - Second floor... - I got no bullets left, 1441 01:08:23,130 --> 01:08:25,796 so we'll bluff 'em until Interpol gets here. 1442 01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:27,505 Honey, you just gotta be careful. 1443 01:08:27,588 --> 01:08:30,546 This guy has killed four people, that we know of. 1444 01:08:30,838 --> 01:08:32,921 Good news is, we know who did it. 1445 01:08:33,005 --> 01:08:34,671 - Okay. - Hard part is over with. 1446 01:08:34,755 --> 01:08:35,630 Okay. 1447 01:08:35,713 --> 01:08:36,713 And... 1448 01:08:37,130 --> 01:08:38,255 What's up, Dish? 1449 01:08:38,630 --> 01:08:41,005 Stay still! I'll shoot you right in the six-pack! 1450 01:08:41,088 --> 01:08:42,755 - You hear me, bitch? - Calm down, babe. 1451 01:08:43,046 --> 01:08:45,838 Make a move! I dare you! 1452 01:08:45,921 --> 01:08:46,838 I dare-- 1453 01:08:46,921 --> 01:08:47,796 Oh, my God! 1454 01:08:48,088 --> 01:08:49,505 - He's dead. - He's dead. 1455 01:08:49,838 --> 01:08:51,171 - Okay, he's dead. - Oh, my God. 1456 01:08:51,255 --> 01:08:53,755 - What the hell? - Oh, God. Case reopened, babe. 1457 01:08:53,838 --> 01:08:55,505 They must have poisoned his drink! 1458 01:08:55,588 --> 01:08:57,671 - Nick! - And look at his face. It's-- 1459 01:08:57,755 --> 01:09:01,130 I mean, besides the foaming mouth, he still kinda looks good. 1460 01:09:01,213 --> 01:09:02,296 What is with this man? 1461 01:09:03,671 --> 01:09:06,213 We told the police. We called the police. We told 'em to come here. 1462 01:09:06,296 --> 01:09:07,671 - Yes. - We've got to stop them. 1463 01:09:08,046 --> 01:09:11,463 It's not like canceling a pizza, honey. You tell 'em to show up, they show up. 1464 01:09:11,546 --> 01:09:13,463 If he's not the killer, who is the killer? 1465 01:09:13,546 --> 01:09:16,796 And if we don't know who the killer is before they get here, we're screwed! 1466 01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:17,963 Do you understand this? 1467 01:09:18,046 --> 01:09:19,880 He's gotta be here in this house. 1468 01:09:19,963 --> 01:09:23,463 This is gorgeous wallpaper. Is that fabric? Is this embossed? 1469 01:09:23,546 --> 01:09:26,880 Sweetheart, you're losing it! You're making me nuts right now! 1470 01:09:26,963 --> 01:09:28,171 No, I know. Hold on. Okay. 1471 01:09:28,255 --> 01:09:29,880 All right, it's good. 1472 01:09:29,963 --> 01:09:31,088 You all right? You breathing? 1473 01:09:31,171 --> 01:09:33,130 - I have to breathe through this. - Look at me. 1474 01:09:33,921 --> 01:09:35,963 - We gotta turn ourselves in. - Wait, what? 1475 01:09:36,046 --> 01:09:38,505 They're all gonna show up. If we run, they're gonna shoot us. 1476 01:09:38,588 --> 01:09:40,463 What do you mean? We're gonna just go to jail? 1477 01:09:40,546 --> 01:09:42,421 It's better than getting shot, ain't it? 1478 01:09:43,171 --> 01:09:45,171 I don't feel-- I don't feel good. 1479 01:09:45,255 --> 01:09:46,588 - Babe. - Oh, God. 1480 01:09:46,671 --> 01:09:47,963 It's an Italian prison. 1481 01:09:48,046 --> 01:09:49,755 You know the food's gonna be incredible. 1482 01:09:49,838 --> 01:09:52,296 We'll have meatballs and pesto sauce and all that. 1483 01:09:52,380 --> 01:09:54,213 It's not co-ed, honey. All right? 1484 01:09:54,296 --> 01:09:56,255 We're-- We're not gonna be in jail together. 1485 01:09:56,338 --> 01:09:57,338 I know. 1486 01:09:57,671 --> 01:09:58,880 Why did you lie to me? 1487 01:10:02,213 --> 01:10:03,213 'Cause I was... 1488 01:10:03,713 --> 01:10:05,755 I was, uh... I was embarrassed. 1489 01:10:06,046 --> 01:10:07,088 With me? 1490 01:10:07,796 --> 01:10:09,255 Why? I-- 1491 01:10:09,755 --> 01:10:12,630 I could've helped you figure that out. That's why we're together. 1492 01:10:12,713 --> 01:10:13,546 I know. 1493 01:10:13,838 --> 01:10:16,380 Remember when I couldn't pay my rent at the salon, 1494 01:10:16,463 --> 01:10:20,713 and then you were like, "Oh, okay." You got that boot off my landlord's car. 1495 01:10:21,005 --> 01:10:23,130 - That got me another week. - Yeah, I remember. 1496 01:10:23,213 --> 01:10:25,213 Remember when your cholesterol was through the roof? 1497 01:10:25,505 --> 01:10:28,213 And then I made you eat egg whites? You hate egg whites. 1498 01:10:28,296 --> 01:10:30,088 And I made you do it, and I did it with you. 1499 01:10:30,171 --> 01:10:32,755 You helped me not miss yolks anymore. 1500 01:10:32,838 --> 01:10:34,921 That's right. That's what we do. We do things together. 1501 01:10:35,005 --> 01:10:38,380 So can we please just figure this out, too? 1502 01:10:38,463 --> 01:10:40,255 We just don't know who did it. 1503 01:10:40,338 --> 01:10:42,546 But Nick, we know who didn't do it. 1504 01:10:42,630 --> 01:10:43,921 - All right? - Right. 1505 01:10:44,005 --> 01:10:48,046 So let's just go downstairs and act like we figured it out. 1506 01:10:48,546 --> 01:10:51,463 If we're gonna do that, we gotta-- we just gotta look confident. 1507 01:10:51,546 --> 01:10:54,380 All right. If we're gonna look confident, we've gotta dress it. 1508 01:10:54,463 --> 01:10:56,296 I already know what I wanna wear. 1509 01:10:56,671 --> 01:10:57,505 What? 1510 01:11:11,380 --> 01:11:12,630 What's up, fools? 1511 01:11:12,713 --> 01:11:15,005 Okay, we solved the case. Boom. 1512 01:11:15,088 --> 01:11:18,213 Yo, yo! Where'd you get the clothes? It's a little much. 1513 01:11:18,713 --> 01:11:19,588 Um... 1514 01:11:19,671 --> 01:11:22,796 I found this beautiful dress in a random closet. 1515 01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,255 - You're looking gorgeous, by the way. - Thanks, baby. 1516 01:11:25,338 --> 01:11:27,963 - And he got this stunning tux... - Mm-hmm. 1517 01:11:28,338 --> 01:11:29,171 ...off a... 1518 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:31,255 Oh, why candy-coat it? 1519 01:11:31,338 --> 01:11:32,463 - A corpse. - Yeah. 1520 01:11:32,546 --> 01:11:33,838 There's another corpse? 1521 01:11:33,921 --> 01:11:35,296 Jeez! Sorry, yes. 1522 01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:37,046 Upstairs, eighth door on the left. 1523 01:11:38,046 --> 01:11:40,505 To whom does this dead corpse belong? 1524 01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:41,921 Oh, yeah. You guys don't know. 1525 01:11:42,005 --> 01:11:43,213 - Bad news, guys. - It's terrible. 1526 01:11:43,296 --> 01:11:44,213 Cavendish is dead. 1527 01:11:45,630 --> 01:11:48,213 You stole the tux off Charlie's dead body? 1528 01:11:48,296 --> 01:11:50,755 And it fits perfectly. Little tight in the crotch, to be honest. 1529 01:11:50,838 --> 01:11:52,838 Just kidding. No, he's got me beat. He's got me beat. 1530 01:11:52,921 --> 01:11:54,588 Wait. Where's Suzi? 1531 01:11:54,963 --> 01:11:56,338 - She's dead. - Dead. 1532 01:11:56,421 --> 01:11:57,421 - Oh! - Oh, my God! 1533 01:11:57,505 --> 01:12:00,213 Y'all are like the miniature Manson Family! 1534 01:12:00,296 --> 01:12:01,713 - No, no, no. - Nick and Audrey Spitz, 1535 01:12:01,796 --> 01:12:03,463 - you are under arrest. - Listen. 1536 01:12:03,546 --> 01:12:05,171 Ferme la bouche. Is that what it is? 1537 01:12:05,255 --> 01:12:07,921 - Just give us a second. We got this. - We got this. Let's go. 1538 01:12:08,005 --> 01:12:08,880 Thank you. 1539 01:12:10,171 --> 01:12:13,880 All right. Ladies and gentlemen, let's review the facts. 1540 01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:14,838 Malcolm Quince, 1541 01:12:14,921 --> 01:12:16,796 he was the first to get murdered. 1542 01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:18,505 We all assumed it was Tobey. 1543 01:12:18,588 --> 01:12:20,796 - No, we all assumed you did it. - Mm-hmm. 1544 01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,505 - Okay. - Yeah, but Tobey hated his father, 1545 01:12:23,588 --> 01:12:26,546 and he stood to inherit billions of dollars. 1546 01:12:26,630 --> 01:12:29,171 - Until he caught some lead to the dome. - Mm-hmm. 1547 01:12:29,255 --> 01:12:31,380 - Can you feel me, Raja? - Pew-pew-pew! 1548 01:12:31,671 --> 01:12:32,796 - There it is. - And then, 1549 01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:36,005 before Sergei was shot, he told us that the Colonel did it. 1550 01:12:36,088 --> 01:12:37,088 He told you what? 1551 01:12:37,171 --> 01:12:40,421 But we know you didn't do it, Colonel, because we saw you flossing your teeth 1552 01:12:40,505 --> 01:12:42,463 when we were shimmying by your window that night. 1553 01:12:42,755 --> 01:12:45,505 You two were spying on me in my bathroom? 1554 01:12:45,588 --> 01:12:49,255 Trust me, I did-- We saw a lot of shit that night that I did not want to see. 1555 01:12:49,338 --> 01:12:52,921 I mean, apologize ahead of time. We had to see you guys having sex. 1556 01:12:53,213 --> 01:12:54,296 You, um... 1557 01:12:54,380 --> 01:12:56,130 You... saw that? 1558 01:12:56,213 --> 01:12:57,880 Maharajah, some advice for you. 1559 01:12:57,963 --> 01:12:59,963 Maybe grab the bottom and squeeze. 1560 01:13:01,130 --> 01:13:02,546 Huh. Word. 1561 01:13:03,088 --> 01:13:03,921 Anyway... 1562 01:13:04,005 --> 01:13:05,213 French fries. Yes. 1563 01:13:05,296 --> 01:13:07,713 Actually, Juan Carlos, you had nothing to do with this. 1564 01:13:07,796 --> 01:13:09,505 You couldn't have had anything to do with it 1565 01:13:09,588 --> 01:13:12,255 because you were with us when Suzi got killed. 1566 01:13:12,338 --> 01:13:14,046 - So it wasn't you. - Mm-mm. 1567 01:13:14,130 --> 01:13:15,505 - It wasn't you. - Mm-mm. 1568 01:13:15,588 --> 01:13:17,338 - It wasn't you. - No. 1569 01:13:17,421 --> 01:13:18,546 It wasn't you. 1570 01:13:18,921 --> 01:13:20,463 Holy shit! Maybe we did do it. 1571 01:13:20,546 --> 01:13:22,005 - What? - Did you? 1572 01:13:22,088 --> 01:13:24,046 - Because listen-- - What did you just say to me? 1573 01:13:24,130 --> 01:13:26,380 - I'm just messing around. - There it is. 1574 01:13:26,463 --> 01:13:28,421 - And he's clapping. - Going to jail. Thanks, babe. 1575 01:13:28,505 --> 01:13:31,463 I'm glad we finally are all on the same page. 1576 01:13:31,755 --> 01:13:35,338 Now, since the first murder occurred in French territorial waters, 1577 01:13:35,421 --> 01:13:38,838 I will be taking you to Paris to be arraigned and tried. 1578 01:13:38,921 --> 01:13:41,005 At least we're going to Paris. You always wanted to go. 1579 01:13:41,088 --> 01:13:43,921 Honey, if you keep making jokes at a time like this, 1580 01:13:44,005 --> 01:13:45,505 it's not gonna make this go away. 1581 01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:48,838 Lucky for you, since 1977, 1582 01:13:48,921 --> 01:13:51,630 there has been no death penalty under French law. 1583 01:13:52,005 --> 01:13:53,421 French law. 1584 01:13:53,505 --> 01:13:54,421 French law. 1585 01:13:54,505 --> 01:13:56,005 The French law. Yeah. 1586 01:13:56,088 --> 01:13:58,671 Surely, Inspector, you of all people 1587 01:13:58,755 --> 01:14:01,546 are familiar with the French inheritance law. 1588 01:14:01,921 --> 01:14:03,880 Are you implying I have bastard children? 1589 01:14:04,505 --> 01:14:05,421 Well, I wasn't. 1590 01:14:05,505 --> 01:14:06,588 Because I do. 1591 01:14:06,671 --> 01:14:08,505 I was surprised you knew about them. 1592 01:14:08,796 --> 01:14:10,421 I love those little bastards. 1593 01:14:10,755 --> 01:14:14,880 Okay. Anyway, um, the French law states that a man's estate 1594 01:14:14,963 --> 01:14:17,880 must be divided equally amongst his children. 1595 01:14:18,171 --> 01:14:20,505 So it wouldn't matter what the will said. 1596 01:14:20,588 --> 01:14:22,213 Straight up, Maharajah. 1597 01:14:22,296 --> 01:14:26,380 The kids were gonna get the money, whether the old man married Suzi or not. 1598 01:14:26,463 --> 01:14:29,421 Mm-hmm. But both of Malcolm's children are dead. 1599 01:14:29,713 --> 01:14:31,255 - Both? - Yes. Tobey, 1600 01:14:31,338 --> 01:14:34,463 and the son he had with Madeleine LeBoutillier.. 1601 01:14:34,546 --> 01:14:36,463 That boy died at childbirth. 1602 01:14:36,755 --> 01:14:37,671 Did he, Colonel? 1603 01:14:38,171 --> 01:14:40,171 I spoke to my partner in New York City. 1604 01:14:40,255 --> 01:14:43,713 I said, get the death certificates for Madeleine and the son. 1605 01:14:43,796 --> 01:14:45,630 He could only find one for Madeleine. 1606 01:14:45,713 --> 01:14:48,130 But then I started thinking, maybe there's no death certificate 1607 01:14:48,213 --> 01:14:49,796 because there was no death. 1608 01:14:49,880 --> 01:14:54,546 Nonsense. Malcolm desperately wanted a boy to sire the next generation of Quinces. 1609 01:14:54,630 --> 01:14:56,255 He would never abandon a son. 1610 01:14:56,338 --> 01:14:57,296 But... 1611 01:14:58,171 --> 01:14:59,213 what if it was a daughter? 1612 01:14:59,296 --> 01:15:00,463 - Yes! - What if it was a daughter? 1613 01:15:00,546 --> 01:15:01,921 The love of his life dies, 1614 01:15:02,005 --> 01:15:04,588 dies giving birth to his unwanted daughter. 1615 01:15:04,671 --> 01:15:07,255 - Yes! - It almost makes sense. 1616 01:15:07,338 --> 01:15:09,546 - It does! It kinda does! - It makes total sense. 1617 01:15:09,630 --> 01:15:11,213 He gave her away. 1618 01:15:11,296 --> 01:15:12,421 Then where is she now? 1619 01:15:12,505 --> 01:15:15,171 Well, she could be anywhere. She could have got married. 1620 01:15:15,255 --> 01:15:18,046 She could've joined a gang, changed her name. Who knows? Carry on. 1621 01:15:18,338 --> 01:15:19,880 - Changed her name. - Ah! 1622 01:15:19,963 --> 01:15:22,505 - You changed your name. - Yes. 1623 01:15:22,588 --> 01:15:24,296 Your real last name isn't Ballard. 1624 01:15:24,588 --> 01:15:25,421 So? 1625 01:15:25,796 --> 01:15:27,796 Lots of artists change their names. 1626 01:15:27,880 --> 01:15:29,796 Lady Gaga's real name isn't Lady Gaga. 1627 01:15:29,880 --> 01:15:32,088 Yes, Lady Gaga. "Paparazzi," yes, good. 1628 01:15:32,171 --> 01:15:35,546 But every Grace Ballard superfan knows 1629 01:15:35,630 --> 01:15:37,755 your first movie was Summer Wetdown. 1630 01:15:37,838 --> 01:15:41,088 You had three lines, and you went by your birth name, 1631 01:15:41,171 --> 01:15:42,671 Grace Butler. 1632 01:15:43,046 --> 01:15:46,005 Which, en français, roughly translates to LeBoutillier. 1633 01:15:46,088 --> 01:15:48,588 Madeleine LeBoutillier, your mother. 1634 01:15:48,671 --> 01:15:49,588 This is a joke. 1635 01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:52,005 I wasn't even in the room when Malcolm Quince was murdered. 1636 01:15:52,088 --> 01:15:55,171 Fine! Then Tobey killed him, but he did it with a little help. 1637 01:15:55,255 --> 01:15:57,380 The lights. You turned out the lights. 1638 01:15:58,088 --> 01:16:01,463 You convinced Tobey to kill Malcolm so you could split the money with him. 1639 01:16:03,588 --> 01:16:06,588 And then you killed Tobey so that you could just keep all of it. 1640 01:16:06,671 --> 01:16:09,505 Then me and this girl started asking too many questions. 1641 01:16:09,588 --> 01:16:10,921 So you had to get rid of us. 1642 01:16:14,588 --> 01:16:17,338 Luckily, not for him, but Sergei gets in the way. 1643 01:16:18,463 --> 01:16:20,213 Then you seduce the Maharajah 1644 01:16:20,296 --> 01:16:23,088 so that you would make us think you were with him all night. 1645 01:16:23,171 --> 01:16:26,505 Yo, you were just twizzlin' on my wizzle for an alibi. 1646 01:16:26,588 --> 01:16:27,671 Girl, that's cold. 1647 01:16:27,755 --> 01:16:29,880 You tried to kill us in the library. 1648 01:16:30,463 --> 01:16:33,213 You tried to kill us in the market, but you got Suzi instead. 1649 01:16:34,755 --> 01:16:36,213 - And the weapon... - Hm! 1650 01:16:36,296 --> 01:16:38,463 - I recognize the weapon now. - The dart? 1651 01:16:38,546 --> 01:16:41,255 It was a movie. I watched it one night. You were out with your friends. 1652 01:16:41,338 --> 01:16:43,046 You came back drunk and, uh... 1653 01:16:43,130 --> 01:16:44,296 What the hell was it? 1654 01:16:44,880 --> 01:16:46,005 Princess Blow Dart. 1655 01:16:46,088 --> 01:16:47,046 Oh, God. 1656 01:16:47,130 --> 01:16:48,505 That is not the name of a movie. 1657 01:16:48,588 --> 01:16:49,630 It is! It is! 1658 01:16:49,713 --> 01:16:51,380 Yo, look at my screensaver. 1659 01:16:51,671 --> 01:16:53,421 - That's her! - Oh, my gosh! 1660 01:16:53,505 --> 01:16:55,588 So then you killed Charles 1661 01:16:55,671 --> 01:16:59,505 because you knew he would never rest until he found out who Suzi's killer was. 1662 01:17:00,088 --> 01:17:02,421 'Cause he loved Suzi, not you! 1663 01:17:02,505 --> 01:17:03,796 The three motives: 1664 01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:05,421 money, love, revenge. 1665 01:17:05,505 --> 01:17:06,755 You were the mastermind 1666 01:17:06,838 --> 01:17:09,046 behind Malcolm Quince's murders, weren't you? 1667 01:17:09,130 --> 01:17:12,171 - And you were the one who framed us. - You killed them all, didn't you? 1668 01:17:12,255 --> 01:17:13,296 Didn't you? 1669 01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:15,588 My father was a monster. 1670 01:17:17,755 --> 01:17:18,755 So you admit it? 1671 01:17:19,171 --> 01:17:20,046 Yes. 1672 01:17:20,755 --> 01:17:23,755 I am the daughter of Malcolm Quince and Madeleine LeBoutillier, 1673 01:17:24,380 --> 01:17:27,421 and sole heir to the Quince fortune. 1674 01:17:27,671 --> 01:17:30,130 Uh, and... what about the murders? 1675 01:17:31,505 --> 01:17:33,046 Oh, I didn't do those. 1676 01:17:33,505 --> 01:17:36,338 But it couldn't have happened to a nicer group of people. 1677 01:17:37,671 --> 01:17:38,505 So... 1678 01:17:39,130 --> 01:17:40,463 what other proof do you have? 1679 01:17:40,546 --> 01:17:42,171 - Of what? - Proof of what? 1680 01:17:42,255 --> 01:17:43,796 That she killed everybody? 1681 01:17:44,255 --> 01:17:45,088 Yes. 1682 01:17:45,171 --> 01:17:46,880 Aren't you gonna do anything at all? 1683 01:17:47,338 --> 01:17:49,421 I mean, is there a French holiday we're unaware of? 1684 01:17:49,505 --> 01:17:50,755 What the hell do you do? 1685 01:17:50,963 --> 01:17:51,796 Look... 1686 01:17:52,505 --> 01:17:54,796 I don't know how you do things in Brooklyn, 1687 01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,463 but here we need evidence to make an arrest. 1688 01:17:57,546 --> 01:17:59,255 This is not how this is supposed to happen. 1689 01:17:59,338 --> 01:18:03,005 The detective is supposed to explain the murders, which we just did, 1690 01:18:03,088 --> 01:18:07,880 and then the killer is supposed to crack and freak out under pressure and admit it! 1691 01:18:08,421 --> 01:18:09,588 If there's nothing else, 1692 01:18:09,671 --> 01:18:11,880 I'd like to start spending my money now. 1693 01:18:16,796 --> 01:18:19,171 The hat. The hat! Uh, take off your hat. 1694 01:18:20,630 --> 01:18:21,588 What? 1695 01:18:22,171 --> 01:18:24,005 I said take off your hat. 1696 01:18:25,755 --> 01:18:26,630 No. 1697 01:18:27,046 --> 01:18:29,921 The Maharajah bought me this hat, and I quite like it. 1698 01:18:30,005 --> 01:18:32,421 Nick hit the killer in the head with a plate. 1699 01:18:33,171 --> 01:18:35,046 And it left a mark, didn't it? 1700 01:18:35,671 --> 01:18:36,546 Also, 1701 01:18:36,630 --> 01:18:41,213 why on earth would you put a hat on a freshly styled head of hair? 1702 01:18:41,296 --> 01:18:43,796 How would you know my hair's been freshly styled? 1703 01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:46,255 'Cause she's a goddamn hairdresser. 1704 01:18:47,296 --> 01:18:49,046 Please remove your hat, Ms. Butler. 1705 01:18:49,630 --> 01:18:51,255 I'll do nothing of the kind. 1706 01:18:55,380 --> 01:18:58,296 The butler did it. Grace Butler did it! Grace But-- Right? 1707 01:18:58,380 --> 01:19:00,796 - I said it on the plane. - You had to do it! 1708 01:19:00,880 --> 01:19:02,130 - Stay back! - Jesus! 1709 01:19:02,505 --> 01:19:03,505 Everybody! 1710 01:19:06,255 --> 01:19:08,130 - Oh, my God! - Son of a bitch. 1711 01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:09,963 - Wait! No, no. - Whoa! 1712 01:19:10,046 --> 01:19:11,213 Nobody move! 1713 01:19:11,296 --> 01:19:12,755 Nobody move, or I'll shoot her. 1714 01:19:12,838 --> 01:19:14,421 Guns down. Baissez vos armes. 1715 01:19:22,588 --> 01:19:23,713 Get an ambulance. 1716 01:19:24,213 --> 01:19:26,380 Yo, I thought you said he was a terrible shot. 1717 01:19:26,463 --> 01:19:28,630 Not when it comes to saving my woman. 1718 01:19:28,713 --> 01:19:31,421 I was aiming for her foot, by the way. 1719 01:19:32,005 --> 01:19:33,630 All right. It's all right. 1720 01:19:37,588 --> 01:19:40,296 Thank you for stepping in and trying to stop her, Juan Carlos. 1721 01:19:40,380 --> 01:19:41,546 That was so brave. 1722 01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:42,921 De nada, señora. 1723 01:19:45,963 --> 01:19:48,921 I love that. I love that he's brave and I'm, what, nothing? 1724 01:19:49,005 --> 01:19:51,755 - Are you kidding? I said you were brave. - You didn't say it. 1725 01:19:51,838 --> 01:19:54,380 I said so many times. "Nick, you were so brave." 1726 01:19:54,463 --> 01:19:57,005 De nada, señora. Halloween. 1727 01:19:58,005 --> 01:19:59,088 Yo, I got a question. 1728 01:19:59,755 --> 01:20:01,505 In the hotel in Monte Carlo, 1729 01:20:01,588 --> 01:20:03,505 you said that you saw me and Grace together. 1730 01:20:03,796 --> 01:20:05,130 - We heard you. - We heard you. 1731 01:20:05,213 --> 01:20:07,088 We didn't like what we heard, but I'll tell-- 1732 01:20:07,171 --> 01:20:09,380 - I'm sorry. - I hope those are new pants, by the way. 1733 01:20:09,463 --> 01:20:11,213 Yeah, but... 1734 01:20:12,046 --> 01:20:13,088 But the truth is, 1735 01:20:13,171 --> 01:20:15,421 Grace and I were together in the bar 1736 01:20:15,505 --> 01:20:17,505 an hour before we got to our room, 1737 01:20:17,588 --> 01:20:20,046 so how could she have killed Sergei 1738 01:20:20,588 --> 01:20:21,713 if she was with me? 1739 01:20:24,338 --> 01:20:25,213 Nick. 1740 01:20:25,296 --> 01:20:26,255 Audrey. 1741 01:20:26,755 --> 01:20:29,213 How did Juan Carlos understand my English just now? 1742 01:20:47,421 --> 01:20:48,546 Stop! 1743 01:20:55,421 --> 01:20:56,755 No! No! 1744 01:20:57,505 --> 01:20:58,963 Don't come any closer! 1745 01:20:59,046 --> 01:21:00,880 Aah! He speaks English! 1746 01:21:00,963 --> 01:21:02,796 I've spoken English my whole life, you idiots, 1747 01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:04,463 and a dozen other languages. 1748 01:21:04,755 --> 01:21:06,588 And by the way, your Latin sucks. 1749 01:21:06,671 --> 01:21:08,046 You understood it! 1750 01:21:08,713 --> 01:21:12,005 Don't you even think about it, Colonel, or I will shoot your dick off. 1751 01:21:13,963 --> 01:21:15,671 Put your hands up in the air, now. 1752 01:21:16,130 --> 01:21:18,838 I am the one who told her to convince Tobey to kill his dad, 1753 01:21:19,088 --> 01:21:20,880 destroy this sick family 1754 01:21:20,963 --> 01:21:22,171 in the name of my father. 1755 01:21:26,546 --> 01:21:27,463 Get into the car. 1756 01:21:30,463 --> 01:21:31,546 Go in! 1757 01:21:31,838 --> 01:21:33,838 Back off! 1758 01:21:35,505 --> 01:21:36,588 I go fast. 1759 01:21:42,505 --> 01:21:43,380 Hey! 1760 01:21:45,005 --> 01:21:46,588 Look at that! A Ferrari! 1761 01:21:46,671 --> 01:21:47,838 - What? - Testarossa! 1762 01:21:47,921 --> 01:21:49,296 Magnum P.I.! Me, baby! 1763 01:21:49,380 --> 01:21:50,671 I got the mustache! 1764 01:21:52,671 --> 01:21:54,213 Nick, you forgot the gun! 1765 01:21:54,296 --> 01:21:57,463 This is incredible! This is a fantasy for everybody! 1766 01:21:57,546 --> 01:21:58,546 How does it open? 1767 01:21:58,630 --> 01:22:00,338 Underneath! Pull! Pull! Come on! 1768 01:22:00,755 --> 01:22:01,671 Oh, my God. 1769 01:22:03,130 --> 01:22:04,046 What the-- 1770 01:22:04,421 --> 01:22:07,046 - Are you kidding me? - I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say! 1771 01:22:07,130 --> 01:22:08,088 Go, go, go! 1772 01:22:19,630 --> 01:22:21,880 - Put your hands up. Hands up! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1773 01:22:25,713 --> 01:22:26,796 All I'm saying is, 1774 01:22:26,880 --> 01:22:28,880 when the engine sounds like your sister's voice-- 1775 01:22:29,296 --> 01:22:32,130 irritating, high, and loud-- you gotta switch gears. 1776 01:22:32,213 --> 01:22:33,130 Ah. 1777 01:22:36,755 --> 01:22:38,046 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1778 01:22:42,463 --> 01:22:43,421 Yes! 1779 01:22:43,505 --> 01:22:45,671 Look how nice you handle this thing! 1780 01:22:46,963 --> 01:22:49,213 ♪ I'm gonna take you down ♪ 1781 01:22:50,296 --> 01:22:52,046 ♪ Down, down, down... ♪ 1782 01:22:52,421 --> 01:22:53,546 Hey! Hey! 1783 01:22:53,630 --> 01:22:54,588 Hey! 1784 01:22:55,046 --> 01:22:56,630 - Honey, he's right up there. - I see him. 1785 01:22:56,713 --> 01:22:58,963 ♪ I'm gonna pull it, pull it ♪ 1786 01:22:59,046 --> 01:23:00,338 ♪ Pull the trigger ♪ 1787 01:23:00,838 --> 01:23:01,838 ♪ Shoot to thrill ♪ 1788 01:23:02,338 --> 01:23:03,588 ♪ Play to kill ♪ 1789 01:23:04,255 --> 01:23:06,171 ♪ Too many women... ♪ 1790 01:23:07,421 --> 01:23:08,505 ♪ Shoot to thrill ♪ 1791 01:23:09,130 --> 01:23:10,171 ♪ Play to kill ♪ 1792 01:23:10,255 --> 01:23:14,630 ♪ I got my gun at the ready Gonna fire at will, yeah ♪ 1793 01:23:16,755 --> 01:23:18,046 ♪ I'm like evil ♪ 1794 01:23:18,463 --> 01:23:20,005 ♪ I get under your skin... ♪ 1795 01:23:20,088 --> 01:23:21,296 Whoa! 1796 01:23:27,213 --> 01:23:28,380 Again! 1797 01:23:30,463 --> 01:23:32,921 Yeah! Baby, nice. Nice! Nice turn! 1798 01:23:33,005 --> 01:23:34,755 Look at you! Look at you! 1799 01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:39,088 Keep going. Keep after him. Keep after him. Keep going. 1800 01:23:39,171 --> 01:23:40,505 Goat! Goat! Goat! 1801 01:23:41,463 --> 01:23:42,755 Holy cow! 1802 01:23:42,838 --> 01:23:45,088 Do you have any idea how gorgeous you look? 1803 01:23:45,171 --> 01:23:47,505 Wait! Second goat! What the hell? 1804 01:23:47,588 --> 01:23:49,796 - Do you not like goats or something? - I love them! 1805 01:23:57,088 --> 01:23:57,921 Idiots. 1806 01:24:04,921 --> 01:24:06,171 Oh, shit. 1807 01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:12,046 ♪ Shoot to thrill ♪ 1808 01:24:13,088 --> 01:24:13,963 ♪ Play to kill ♪ 1809 01:24:14,588 --> 01:24:17,338 ♪ Too many women with too many pills... ♪ 1810 01:24:17,421 --> 01:24:19,213 Keep going, baby. Go! Go! Go! 1811 01:24:19,296 --> 01:24:20,588 Go! Go! Go! 1812 01:24:24,838 --> 01:24:27,130 - Holy shit! - Oh, God! 1813 01:24:29,421 --> 01:24:31,505 - We gotta pit him, honey. - I gotta what him? 1814 01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:34,088 What you do is you hit the back bumper and he'll just spin out. 1815 01:24:34,171 --> 01:24:35,755 - I can't do that. I can't-- - You got this. 1816 01:24:35,838 --> 01:24:37,463 I can't. He's a Formula 1 race car driver! 1817 01:24:39,630 --> 01:24:40,713 Faster! Come on! 1818 01:24:40,796 --> 01:24:43,005 This is our adventure. 1819 01:24:43,713 --> 01:24:44,713 Go for it. 1820 01:24:45,255 --> 01:24:47,588 I can do this. I love you. That was sweet. 1821 01:24:48,088 --> 01:24:49,130 Okay, here we go. 1822 01:24:50,713 --> 01:24:52,213 ♪ Shoot you ♪ 1823 01:24:52,296 --> 01:24:53,671 ♪ Shoot you ♪ 1824 01:24:54,421 --> 01:24:55,463 No! 1825 01:24:56,463 --> 01:24:58,713 He didn't spin. He didn't spin. We just gotta take him out. 1826 01:24:58,796 --> 01:24:59,963 - Take him out! - Here we go. 1827 01:25:00,046 --> 01:25:01,255 Floor it! Floor it! 1828 01:25:03,421 --> 01:25:04,630 Oh! 1829 01:25:04,713 --> 01:25:05,755 What? 1830 01:25:09,546 --> 01:25:11,380 Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes! 1831 01:25:21,963 --> 01:25:24,838 Do you have any idea how cool you are? 1832 01:25:24,921 --> 01:25:27,005 - Happy anniversary, baby! - Yeah. 1833 01:25:27,088 --> 01:25:27,963 Oh! 1834 01:25:31,671 --> 01:25:32,838 Oh, my God. 1835 01:25:32,921 --> 01:25:34,380 - Okay. - Okay. 1836 01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:36,630 - I'm gonna go get that guy out of the car. - Go get him. 1837 01:25:36,713 --> 01:25:37,588 I love you. 1838 01:25:37,671 --> 01:25:38,838 - I love you. - Oh, my God. 1839 01:25:43,338 --> 01:25:44,838 Let's go. Let's go. 1840 01:25:44,921 --> 01:25:46,755 I got you. Come on. 1841 01:25:47,088 --> 01:25:49,046 All right. 1842 01:25:53,546 --> 01:25:55,130 I'm so sick of you, cop! 1843 01:25:55,213 --> 01:25:56,838 You should have never come here! 1844 01:25:56,921 --> 01:25:59,796 You should have just stayed home, eating hot dogs, 1845 01:25:59,880 --> 01:26:02,880 reading People magazine, and watching reality TV. 1846 01:26:08,046 --> 01:26:08,880 Baby. 1847 01:26:09,255 --> 01:26:11,796 You know, that was our-- That was our tour bus! 1848 01:26:11,880 --> 01:26:14,213 No toilets, no Wi-Fi, and you're running over people? 1849 01:26:14,296 --> 01:26:17,921 - Brittany's hogging the window seat! - I want to see the dead guy! 1850 01:26:18,005 --> 01:26:21,338 Just sit down and shut up! I'm gonna take a picture! 1851 01:26:21,630 --> 01:26:23,630 - All right. I love you. - Oh, my God, this guy-- 1852 01:26:23,713 --> 01:26:25,630 - We gotta ask 'em how they age ham. - I don't care! 1853 01:26:25,713 --> 01:26:26,546 Come on! 1854 01:26:26,630 --> 01:26:29,088 ♪ Do you love me too... ♪ 1855 01:26:29,171 --> 01:26:33,005 On behalf of Interpol, I thank you, Mrs. Spitz. 1856 01:26:33,088 --> 01:26:34,963 You are as brilliant as you are beautiful. 1857 01:26:35,046 --> 01:26:37,796 Oh, my gosh. Well, thank you for that. 1858 01:26:37,880 --> 01:26:40,421 - And Officer Spitz. - I go, what? What? 1859 01:26:40,505 --> 01:26:42,630 It seems you are quite the detective after all. 1860 01:26:42,713 --> 01:26:44,380 - You are! - With this girl, yes. 1861 01:26:44,463 --> 01:26:47,546 Something I will be passing along to your superiors in New York. 1862 01:26:47,630 --> 01:26:48,838 That would be big. 1863 01:26:48,921 --> 01:26:51,546 I have to tell you, I think this entire experience was pretty great. 1864 01:26:51,630 --> 01:26:52,838 - Incredible. - Yeah. 1865 01:26:52,921 --> 01:26:55,255 Outside of the murders, it was on the money. 1866 01:26:55,338 --> 01:26:59,088 Well, I hope the rest of your trip, which we have arranged for you, 1867 01:26:59,171 --> 01:27:00,296 is more relaxing. 1868 01:27:00,380 --> 01:27:01,796 - Bon voyage. - Well, thank you. 1869 01:27:01,880 --> 01:27:04,255 You owe that to us, but thank you so much. 1870 01:27:04,338 --> 01:27:06,171 You ever come to New York, you look us up. 1871 01:27:06,255 --> 01:27:10,046 We'll pin, uh, a triple homicide on you or a kidnapping or something. 1872 01:27:11,255 --> 01:27:13,005 - Thank you. Okay. - Thank you so much. 1873 01:27:13,088 --> 01:27:14,755 Good to meet you. All right. Be safe. 1874 01:27:15,171 --> 01:27:16,963 - Good anniversary, right? - Amazing anniversary. 1875 01:27:17,046 --> 01:27:19,130 - Kind of-- Kind of a cool one. - Loved it! 1876 01:27:19,213 --> 01:27:21,005 What did you get me, by the way, for a present? 1877 01:27:21,088 --> 01:27:22,255 What? Oh, uh... 1878 01:27:22,338 --> 01:27:24,088 I got you the Amazon gift card. 1879 01:27:24,171 --> 01:27:26,255 - You did? - No, I didn't get you anything. 1880 01:27:26,338 --> 01:27:27,755 - ♪ You will see ♪ 1881 01:27:28,130 --> 01:27:29,213 ♪ Finally ♪ 1882 01:27:29,296 --> 01:27:33,838 ♪ You and me shall always be as one ♪ 1883 01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:38,505 ♪ See what happiness has done ♪ 1884 01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:43,755 ♪ We must be in love ♪ 1885 01:27:44,380 --> 01:27:46,296 ♪ We must be in love ♪ 1886 01:28:00,213 --> 01:28:01,255 ♪ I sigh ♪ 1887 01:28:01,338 --> 01:28:02,588 ♪ I don't know why ♪ 1888 01:28:02,671 --> 01:28:03,838 ♪ I sigh ♪ 1889 01:28:03,921 --> 01:28:07,005 ♪ Is it that I'm lonely for you? ♪ 1890 01:28:09,463 --> 01:28:13,296 ♪ Are you lonely for me too? ♪ 1891 01:28:13,796 --> 01:28:18,046 ♪ We must be in love ♪ 1892 01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:19,796 ♪ Let me tell you now ♪ 1893 01:28:19,880 --> 01:28:22,213 ♪ I miss your tender kiss ♪ 1894 01:28:22,296 --> 01:28:24,505 ♪ Your tender kiss is what I miss ♪ 1895 01:28:24,588 --> 01:28:28,380 ♪ I have a strange desire ♪ 1896 01:28:29,130 --> 01:28:31,171 ♪ For your lips of fire ♪ 1897 01:28:33,421 --> 01:28:37,921 ♪ We must be in love ♪ 1898 01:28:39,546 --> 01:28:41,963 ♪ Do you love me too... ♪ 143137

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