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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:05,527 . 2 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,529 - "Abby's" is filmed 3 00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:09,487 in front of a live outdoor audience. 4 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,489 You ever think about how numbers are spelled? 5 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:14,405 - No, because I'm normal, but go ahead. 6 00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,842 - We start with one, O-N-E. 7 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:17,930 First number out of the gate. 8 00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,497 Already it's spelled weird. 9 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,065 One should clearly start with a W. 10 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,327 And then we get two, 11 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:26,765 which does have a W but shouldn't. 12 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,593 - We're doin' shots, bitches. 13 00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,205 - Well, that was uncouth. 14 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,033 - Number talk, huh? I can get behind this. 15 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:35,296 A lot of numbers in engineering, shapes too. 16 00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:36,906 We got lines, vectors-- 17 00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:39,300 which, before you jump all over me, are not the same thing. 18 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,128 - Numbers aren't all spelled bad. 19 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,520 Three is solid. 20 00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:43,695 Six is incredible. 21 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,697 - I love six. It really gets the job done. 22 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,090 - Mm-hmm. 23 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,657 - We need more tequila shots, sweetie. 24 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,181 - Well, neither of us looks like a sweetie, 25 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,270 so he must be talking to someone else. 26 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:57,144 - I was called a doll once, and it did not end well. 27 00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,884 - Oh, my God, I never thought about eight before. 28 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,060 Eight is wild. 29 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,844 E, what? 30 00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:04,107 I, why? 31 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,197 G, I don't even know what we're spelling anymore. 32 00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,765 Holy mother of God, there's an H after that. 33 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,507 - Dude, we're in an outdoor bar. 34 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,596 The whole thing's a bathroom. 35 00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:17,120 - Abby, you gonna do something about this? 36 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,209 Because I am ready to tee off on someone. 37 00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,732 I just spent two hours trying to get out 38 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:24,345 of a gym membership, and I'm still a member. 39 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,129 - Yeah, they're outta here. 40 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,089 James, would you like to do the honor of bouncing them? 41 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:32,918 - Yeah, I'm gonna go right now. 42 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:36,792 But here's the thing, and I forgot to tell you. 43 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,576 I can't. 44 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:41,405 My doctor says I might have bumpy spine. 45 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,407 - Oh, James, bumpy spine is a real thing, 46 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,453 and it's very serious. 47 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,457 - You think I got bumpy spine? 48 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,600 - Yeah! 49 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:03,558 - Whoo! 50 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,255 - All right, I'm goin' in. 51 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,561 - Hey, five bucks if you can work in 52 00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,302 a cool action movie one-liner. 53 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,217 - You're on. 54 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:14,438 Sorry, bros, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 55 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,527 - Well, we don't wanna leave. 56 00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:19,487 - Okay, look, this is what's gonna happen. 57 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,795 Look at me. Look at me. 58 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,145 I'm the captain now. 59 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,453 - You're not gonna give her full credit for that? 60 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,063 - She should have done the voice, 61 00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:32,978 although I get why that's dicey. 62 00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,851 - No, seriously, you guys have to go or I'll make you go. 63 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,374 - I'm not going anywhere. 64 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:40,203 - Okay, okay, I think that we've all had enough fun here. 65 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,465 Please leave. 66 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,206 - Bill, stand down. I got this. 67 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,468 - You see, I'm the owner of the property, 68 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,817 and if I call the cops, they're gonna say 69 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,950 it was time to go the moment I told you to, 70 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,039 and every second after that is criminal trespassing. 71 00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,475 - They get it, Bill. 72 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,522 You're mad, and you're upper middle class. 73 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,306 - Then I'm gonna have to hire a whole team of lawyers 74 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,526 to file a civil suit, which, win or lose, 75 00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:01,746 is gonna cost you tens of thousands of dollars each. 76 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,313 Is that what you really want? 77 00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:11,191 That's right, get. 78 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,194 - Did you just say "get"? 79 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,673 - Well, I was gonna say, 80 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,849 don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you, 81 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,200 but then I realized the door opens out, 82 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:22,463 so that would not be possible. 83 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,160 Sort of harkens back to the vectors 84 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,857 that I mentioned before. 85 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:31,776 And that is sort of the origin story of get. 86 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,736 - Good job, Bill, very impressive. 87 00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,216 - That was pretty kick ass, though, right? 88 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,695 Maybe even worthy of a drink? 89 00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,872 A free drink, not a drink named after me. 90 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,310 Although... 91 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,529 If you were gonna name a drink after me, 92 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,444 maybe it'd be something like, um, I mean, 93 00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:50,491 just off the top of my head, the Invinci-Bill. 94 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,536 Maybe that has wine and Sprite in it, huh? 95 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:56,845 Or the Billini, which would also have wine and Sprite. 96 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,890 I'd like a wine and Sprite, please. 97 00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:02,067 - Yeah, Bill, we should name a drink after you. 98 00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,592 I'm gonna call it, If You Ever Butt In Like That Again, 99 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:07,856 I'll Tie Your Penis into a Knot. 100 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,771 - Hold on, you're mad at me for helping you? 101 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:11,033 - Yes, Bill. 102 00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:12,469 If something like that ever happens again, 103 00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,385 please, stay the hell out of it. 104 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:20,912 - I got a name for your drink: the piƱa Billada. 105 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:23,088 - My mug! 106 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,047 - What happened? 107 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,091 - I don't know. 108 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,397 I love this mug. 109 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,312 I got it in Reno when the twins were born. 110 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,401 - Wait, you took a trip to Reno 111 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,185 when you were nine months pregnant? 112 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,622 - No, I took a trip to Reno 113 00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,188 when I was eight months pregnant 114 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:39,496 and I lost track of time. 115 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,759 Who the hell did this? 116 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:45,415 I promise I won't be mad, but who? 117 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:48,810 - Yes, who is the correct question 118 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,595 because it suggests we don't know. 119 00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:55,425 - Really, no one is gonna own up to this? 120 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,861 - I'm so sorry, Beth. 121 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,515 I'm gonna help you find out who did this. 122 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:01,736 - No, Rosie, that--that won't be necessary 123 00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:07,089 because, Beth... 124 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:11,485 I am the one who's gonna find out who did this. 125 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,138 - Thank you, James, 126 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:16,794 and when you find the coward, I want you to take this shard 127 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:20,015 and sketch my face into their forehead. 128 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:25,847 - That shard looks a little too big for the detail work. 129 00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:31,853 . 130 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,246 - Let me get this straight: I did something nice-- 131 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,770 - No, no, you did not do something nice. 132 00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,249 I had a basketball, I was about to dunk it, 133 00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:38,773 and then you took the ball out of my hands 134 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,688 and you dunked it yourself. 135 00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:42,472 - Does this discussion have to take place right here? 136 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,126 I'm working on the crossword puzzle, 137 00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:47,825 and it's Saturday's, so I'm trying to lock in. 138 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,044 - Abby, I was just trying to help you. 139 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,133 - Bill, I did not need your help. 140 00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:53,962 - Hmm, see, I'm doing it in ink. 141 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,485 Maybe you guys would want to argue 142 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:58,445 on the back benches or in a different backyard. 143 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:01,143 - You acted like I was some damsel in distress 144 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,536 who needed you to come to my rescue. 145 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:03,798 - I did not. I just-- 146 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:04,929 - And you just had to save the day 147 00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,322 with your legal mumbo jumbo, 148 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,845 like the world's most boring knight 149 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,718 in the world's most business casual armor. 150 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:14,286 - I didn't step in because I know legal mumbo jumbo. 151 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,201 I got in there because I'm-- 152 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,639 well, you know, because I'm bigger than you. 153 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:20,989 - You guys win. 154 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,208 This is more interesting than my puzzle. 155 00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:26,690 - So you think you're so strong and I'm so weak? 156 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,389 Bill, I was a Marine, okay? 157 00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:30,999 I can take you down 50 different ways. 158 00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,217 Look at your neck. 159 00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,785 There's, like, eight ways right there. 160 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,265 - Just from an objective standpoint, 161 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:37,832 I have a larger frame than you, that's all. 162 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,487 My biology gives me certain mechanical advantages. 163 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,923 - Bill has a point. 164 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,315 Say there was a nine-year-old 165 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,187 with a black belt that wanted to fight me. 166 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,884 It doesn't matter that he has a black belt. 167 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,843 He's tiny, and I'm a giant. 168 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,541 That kid is going down. 169 00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,021 - With all due respect, Fred, 170 00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,110 my sons know a nine-year-old named Evan Lefkowitz. 171 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,503 He would destroy you. 172 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,113 - Huh. 173 00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:01,421 Anyplace, anytime, any kid. 174 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,249 - The thing is, Abby, I'm an engineer. 175 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,687 - Oh, really? - Oh, that again. 176 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,297 - And as an engineer, 177 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,517 I have to consider things like Newtonian force. 178 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,301 It's all about fulcrum placement. 179 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,085 You got one lever-- in this case, it's my arm-- 180 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,826 starts way up here. 181 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,480 Do you want to see what happens when this pump gets primed? 182 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,438 Because I don't. 183 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,743 - No, Bill, I don't want to see 184 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,397 when anything of yours gets primed. 185 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,529 - You don't know what primed means in this sort of-- 186 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,747 - Abby, Bill, come on. 187 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:24,879 You're both adults. 188 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,576 This bickering is silly. 189 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:30,362 We should solve this thing in a mature, grown-up way. 190 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,582 The two of you should put your hands into the ice bin 191 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:36,194 for 30 seconds and then open a big jar of olives. 192 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,240 - Yes, because that is classically the correct way 193 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,155 to handle this sort of situation. 194 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,722 - And if I win, Bill apologizes. 195 00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:42,897 - And just to be clear, 196 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,159 I'm apologizing for helping you. 197 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,377 - Yes, that is correct. 198 00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,814 - All right, fine, you're on. 199 00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,206 I don't open a lot of olive jars, 200 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:52,297 but I do open a lot of pickle jars. 201 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,822 And I'm fairly certain that my skills in that area 202 00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,520 will transfer over to this new area. 203 00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,306 - Bill, I gotta tell ya, that is some weak-ass trash talk. 204 00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,750 - Ugh, what's wrong with this wine? 205 00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:10,968 It tastes terrible. 206 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,796 - It's pinot grigio from Ottawa. 207 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,103 What do you expect? 208 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,365 - It's the mug. 209 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,236 The wine doesn't taste right 210 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,674 because I'm not drinking out of my Reno mug. 211 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,807 What if alcohol never tastes the same again 212 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,200 and I end up drinking less? 213 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:30,335 What if I wake up in the morning feeling okay? 214 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,775 - James, where are we on the investigation? 215 00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,386 - It's, uh--it's coming along. 216 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,519 I just need to get a black light on Amazon Prime, 217 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:42,652 so we're looking at, like, two business days right there. 218 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,308 - Could I speak to you for a second? 219 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,575 You broke the mug, didn't you? 220 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,621 - How did you know? 221 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,100 - You have a tell. 222 00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,625 Every time you lie, you're terrible at it. 223 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,497 Look, I know Beth can be a little scary, 224 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,499 but she deserves to know what happened. 225 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,066 - You're right. 226 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:08,199 Okay, here I go. 227 00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,247 So, Beth... - What do you got? 228 00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:15,163 Did you find the gutless rat that broke my mug? 229 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:18,819 - I did, and I didn't have to look too far 230 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,081 to find him, either. 231 00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:22,562 It was Dan! 232 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:25,521 - Who's Dan? 233 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,175 - Me, I'm Dan. 234 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,437 Did you need something? 235 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,874 I can't hear well out of my left ear. 236 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,354 - Enough excuses, Dan, 237 00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,574 if that's even your real name. 238 00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:38,142 That's probably not even your real mustache either. 239 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,975 - All right, so we got Bill versus Abby 240 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,542 in a test of strength and toughness. 241 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,370 If Abby wins, Bill apologizes, 242 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:52,548 and if Bill wins, we just kind of keep goin' how we're goin'. 243 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,158 - When I say go, 244 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,638 you both put your hands into the ice 245 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,814 for as long as it takes me to finish my beer. 246 00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:58,815 Are you ready? 247 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,469 On your mark, set, go. 248 00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,906 - Okay, no, this is fine. 249 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,212 This isn't bad. 250 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,866 This isn't bad-- oh, my God, it's so bad! 251 00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,432 Oh! 252 00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:10,218 Fred, I know for a fact you can drink faster than that. 253 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,960 - Hey, Rosie, that guy ever text you back? 254 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,614 - No, he called. 255 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,658 - Oh, wow. 256 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,704 So I was right. He is a psychopath. 257 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:21,664 - Knives, knives as fingers. 258 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,839 - And...open the jars. 259 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:25,755 - All right, Abby, you got this. 260 00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:26,930 Nice and easy. 261 00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:27,975 - Just gotta-- 262 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,065 Butterfingers. 263 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,588 Frozen Butterfingers, which are delicious, 264 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,765 but that's a guaranteed trip to the dentist. 265 00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:36,940 - Everything okay, Abs? 266 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,550 - Yeah, just trying to get a grip. 267 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,596 - Ah, done. 268 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,553 - What? 269 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:42,903 - Why do you all look so shocked? 270 00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,644 I told you I had pickle jar skills. 271 00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,559 I also predicted that those skills 272 00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:48,952 would carry over into this new area. 273 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,911 Do you remember, from the trash talk? 274 00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,216 - No, no, I didn't lose. 275 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,348 You cheated. You dropped the jar. 276 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,697 That must have loosened it. 277 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,003 This doesn't prove you're stronger than me. 278 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,221 We gotta do another challenge. 279 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,701 - Abby, let it go, all right? 280 00:10:58,745 --> 00:10:59,920 Just admit that I'm the champ and you're the chump 281 00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,617 and we'll move on. 282 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,968 - No, no, I challenge you to literally anything else. 283 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,274 How about a duel? 284 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:07,623 Not with guns, obviously, but with swords. 285 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,973 I have swords! 286 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,540 Or, or, a keg carry! 287 00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,933 Yes, we'll do a keg carry! 288 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,630 - What? 289 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,110 - Yeah, I'll clear this area, and we'll see who can carry 290 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,633 a full keg around the bar the fastest. 291 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,243 But that's gonna be hard for me to do 292 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,637 because the grill is lit and my hands are burning. 293 00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:28,905 . 294 00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:31,255 - Why don't you let us handle the bar 295 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,474 until your hands feel better? - Guys, I'm fine. 296 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,954 - You're not fine. 297 00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:34,955 You burned both of your hands. You're in pain. 298 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:35,956 - No, really, I'm okay. 299 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:38,306 Somebody high-five me. 300 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,134 Do it! 301 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,310 - Interesting. 302 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,181 - I never thought I'd say this, Bill, 303 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:47,010 but I need to know right now what you think is interesting. 304 00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,969 - I just realized why you got so upset 305 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,231 when I stepped in before. 306 00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,580 It's not about me. 307 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,364 You have a problem accepting help from anyone. 308 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,018 - That's not true. 309 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,324 When people hold doors open for me, I walk through them. 310 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,282 I don't just stand there like some weirdo. 311 00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,763 - All right, fine, prove me wrong. 312 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,069 Let them help you with the bar. 313 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,202 - No problem. 314 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:09,119 Fred, would you be so kind as to answer the phone for me? 315 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,425 - Yes. 316 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,863 Hello? 317 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:17,084 No, this is Abby's, not Arby's. 318 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,217 Yeah, there's one on Midway Drive. 319 00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:23,177 There's one, uh, well, the Mission Gorge Road one, 320 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:27,616 their bathroom requires a key code so... 321 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:31,054 I do. It's pound 9244. 322 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,449 - Yeah, whoa, what are you doing over there? 323 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,451 - Oh, there's just a little pileup here 324 00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:37,974 and there's a maraschino cherry sticking to one of the glasses, 325 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,454 so I'm just gonna turn on the sink. 326 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:40,890 - You don't have to do that 327 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:41,891 because you don't have a problem accepting help. 328 00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,240 Beth can do it, right? 329 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,764 - Sure, I'm always happy to help. 330 00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,114 Actually, that's not true at all. 331 00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:50,770 But I will do this now. 332 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,775 - Cool. 333 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,080 Yep, okay. 334 00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:59,953 Yeah, yeah, I'll just-- just go inside 335 00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:03,217 and, uh, I'll just let this happen, yeah. 336 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,566 - Let us know if you need anything. 337 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:07,221 - I don't-- will do. 338 00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,928 - Dan, you've been accused of a bar crime, 339 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,843 breaking the mug of a regular. 340 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,105 Now, in accordance with rule 84, 341 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,628 the trial will now begin 342 00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:25,108 and you will have 30 seconds to defend yourself. 343 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:25,892 Go! 344 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,981 - Oh, no, I-- 345 00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:30,810 It wasn't me. I love mugs. 346 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,203 I have my own mugs at home. 347 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,510 I even drink soup out of mugs. 348 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,382 I would never break a mug. 349 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,254 Ask my friends. 350 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,691 - I mean, once when we were in Oregon, 351 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:43,953 he did break a plate. 352 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,391 - Jessica, why? 353 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,526 - A pattern emerges. 354 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,702 - Well, now that all the evidence is in, 355 00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,138 who votes guilty? 356 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,185 - Oh, no, but I'm innocent. 357 00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:00,013 - Dan, we just had an exhaustive trial. 358 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,362 You're guilty. 359 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:05,975 - What's up? 360 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,498 - You're really gonna pin this on Dan? 361 00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,065 - I have to. 362 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,675 Beth is scary, and we don't have a lot in common. 363 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,722 We're not tight like you and Abby or me and Bill 364 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:17,857 or Dan and Jessica, although I think that's over now. 365 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:22,035 I'm just saying, I feel like if she finds out I broke her mug, 366 00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,167 she might cut me out of her life 367 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:27,301 or cut me with that big shard. 368 00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:28,998 And if she puts her face on my face, 369 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:32,045 when I go to the club, who ID I'ma use? 370 00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,876 - Dan, as per rule 84, subsection B, 371 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:40,314 I hereby sentence you to an evening in the sprinkler chair. 372 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:41,706 - Oh, no. 373 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,360 What's the sprinkler chair? 374 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,928 - That chair that sits over the faulty sprinkler head, 375 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,322 which can go off at any moment. 376 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:53,675 The punishment is the anticipation of getting wet 377 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:56,025 and also getting wet. 378 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,637 - But I don't want to get wet. 379 00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:03,250 - Wet man walkin'. 380 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,124 - Abby, what are you doing? We got this. 381 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,647 - I'm fine, Bill. 382 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,954 - Okay, just wallow in all that help. 383 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,956 You know, just let it consume you, 384 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,220 like a charitable quicksand. 385 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:19,440 - Could I get a-- oh, so sorry. 386 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:22,399 I didn't realize you couldn't do anything. 387 00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,403 Damn, that must have been hard to hear. 388 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:29,015 - That's it. Everybody stop helping. 389 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,407 - Kind of proving my point here, Abby. 390 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,626 - No, no, no, no. 391 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,367 I would happily accept help if I needed it, 392 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,716 but right now, I don't need it. 393 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:35,760 So, you, what do you want? 394 00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:36,761 - Um, a bottle of beer. 395 00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:38,938 - Great. 396 00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,299 You, go. 397 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,648 - A mojito? 398 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,282 - That'll be 7.50. 399 00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:05,241 Who's next? 400 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:12,292 . 401 00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:15,077 - All that spilled alcohol. 402 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,557 What a waste. 403 00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:20,213 - Hey, Abby. - Not now, Bill. 404 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,303 I said not now, Bill. 405 00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,087 - No, Abby, I just want to apologize, okay. 406 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:28,090 You were upset before and I pushed 407 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:31,528 that stupid point so hard and I'm sorry. 408 00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,096 - Well, it's not all on you. 409 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,403 It is possible that I may have overreacted 410 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:37,795 when everyone was helping me. 411 00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:41,451 - Well, I mean, I would never say that but... 412 00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,323 other people might say that. 413 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,325 - The thing is, Bill, when you just took over 414 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:48,371 with those guys earlier, it set something off in me. 415 00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,591 You gotta understand, when I was in the Marines, 416 00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:53,028 men were just looking for me to fail, 417 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,336 so I worked hard to make sure I never needed help from anybody. 418 00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:59,904 - I get that, and, well, honestly, 419 00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,515 I didn't think I was stepping in before 420 00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:03,082 because you're a woman, 421 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:07,695 but if it was Fred or James, I don't know if I would have. 422 00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,000 - Well, I appreciate you admitting that, 423 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,915 but always step in to help James. 424 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,919 Here's the thing, though, Abby, 425 00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:18,401 you and I are committing an ongoing criminal conspiracy 426 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,360 to keep an illegal bar operating, so... 427 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,711 we should probably learn to take help from one another. 428 00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:25,147 - Well, I have to admit, 429 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,454 your legal threats were kind of helpful. 430 00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:30,196 - See? Yes. 431 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,894 - I guess I could use some help with my shoe. 432 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,504 The laces have been untied for an hour, 433 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,158 and they're driving me crazy. 434 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,595 - I got ya. 435 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,651 Do you feel better now? - Yes! 436 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,132 See, Bill, eight different ways just in the neck. 437 00:18:57,701 --> 00:19:01,096 - Oh, ah. 438 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,317 Oh, sorry, thought I heard it going off. 439 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,666 False alarm. 440 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,798 My brain is doing most of the torture. 441 00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,976 Ah, there it is! 442 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,283 Nope, sorry, another falsie. 443 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:24,685 - Beth, I got something I gotta tell you. 444 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,208 I'm the one who broke your mug. 445 00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:27,209 I'm sorry. 446 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:28,341 - What? 447 00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,125 James, why didn't you say something? 448 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,432 - Because our relationship is like your mug. 449 00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:33,607 It's fragile. 450 00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,043 We don't have anything in common, 451 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,785 and I was scared that if you knew I broke your mug, 452 00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:40,483 you would cut me out your life 453 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,182 or cut me physically. 454 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,748 And if you put your face on my face, 455 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,316 that's gonna confuse your kids. 456 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,797 - James, come on. 457 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,235 We don't have a lot in common, but I like that. 458 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,237 You know who I have a lot in common with? 459 00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:56,847 The moms at school, 460 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,285 and they never shut up about their kids and their husbands 461 00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:02,244 and their jobs and their charity work. 462 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,115 Ugh, get a life. 463 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,075 We have the most important thing in common 464 00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:10,774 that two people can have: we drink together. 465 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,126 That's a sacred bond. 466 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,914 My mug. 467 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,045 - Yeah, I found most of the pieces, 468 00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,743 and then Bill filled in the gaps 469 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:25,311 with this 3-D printer thing he overexplained. 470 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,139 And then he glued it all back together. 471 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,011 Did you guys know that Bill's an engineer? 472 00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:32,013 - Yeah, it's come up. - Is that right? 473 00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:35,712 - Yep, I always keep good glue in my car. 474 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,192 And I see the way you're looking at me, 475 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,933 but I think it's cool and I'm glad I told you. 476 00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,370 - Hey, Dan, I've got news! 477 00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,633 - Oh, oh! 478 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:44,895 It's worse than I thought. 479 00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:48,638 Oh, the water is very highly pressurized. 480 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:50,858 Oh, I hate this a lot. It's--oh... 481 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:52,642 - Blood pact to never talk about this again? 482 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,254 - Yeah. - Sounds good. 483 00:20:57,734 --> 00:21:00,520 - Four-letter word for "word." 484 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,000 This clue is like a snake eating itself. 485 00:21:04,175 --> 00:21:05,655 - So, uh, yesterday, you said 486 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:08,832 you could beat a nine-year-old with a black belt? 487 00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:12,096 Well, this is Evan Lefkowitz. 488 00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:14,751 He just placed in a national competition. 489 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,454 - Yeah, he could take me. 35612

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