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1
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:05,527
.
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,529
- "Abby's" is filmed
3
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:09,487
in front of a live
outdoor audience.
4
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,489
You ever think about
how numbers are spelled?
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:14,405
- No, because I'm normal,
but go ahead.
6
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,842
- We start with one,
O-N-E.
7
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:17,930
First number
out of the gate.
8
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:19,497
Already it's spelled weird.
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,065
One should clearly
start with a W.
10
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,327
And then we get two,
11
00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:26,765
which does have a W
but shouldn't.
12
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,593
- We're doin' shots,
bitches.
13
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,205
- Well, that was uncouth.
14
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,033
- Number talk, huh?
I can get behind this.
15
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:35,296
A lot of numbers
in engineering, shapes too.
16
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:36,906
We got lines, vectors--
17
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:39,300
which, before you jump all over
me, are not the same thing.
18
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,128
- Numbers aren't
all spelled bad.
19
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,520
Three is solid.
20
00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:43,695
Six is incredible.
21
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,697
- I love six.
It really gets the job done.
22
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,090
- Mm-hmm.
23
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,657
- We need more
tequila shots, sweetie.
24
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,181
- Well, neither of us
looks like a sweetie,
25
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,270
so he must be talking
to someone else.
26
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:57,144
- I was called a doll once,
and it did not end well.
27
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,884
- Oh, my God, I never thought
about eight before.
28
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,060
Eight is wild.
29
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,844
E, what?
30
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:04,107
I, why?
31
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,197
G, I don't even know
what we're spelling anymore.
32
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,765
Holy mother of God,
there's an H after that.
33
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,507
- Dude, we're in
an outdoor bar.
34
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,596
The whole thing's
a bathroom.
35
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:17,120
- Abby, you gonna
do something about this?
36
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,209
Because I am ready
to tee off on someone.
37
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,732
I just spent two hours
trying to get out
38
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:24,345
of a gym membership,
and I'm still a member.
39
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,129
- Yeah, they're outta here.
40
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,089
James, would you like to do
the honor of bouncing them?
41
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:32,918
- Yeah, I'm gonna
go right now.
42
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:36,792
But here's the thing,
and I forgot to tell you.
43
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,576
I can't.
44
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:41,405
My doctor says
I might have bumpy spine.
45
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,407
- Oh, James, bumpy spine
is a real thing,
46
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,453
and it's very serious.
47
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,457
- You think
I got bumpy spine?
48
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,600
- Yeah!
49
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:03,558
- Whoo!
50
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,255
- All right,
I'm goin' in.
51
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,561
- Hey, five bucks
if you can work in
52
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:08,302
a cool action movie
one-liner.
53
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,217
- You're on.
54
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:14,438
Sorry, bros, but I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
55
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,527
- Well, we don't wanna leave.
56
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:19,487
- Okay, look,
this is what's gonna happen.
57
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,795
Look at me.
Look at me.
58
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,145
I'm the captain now.
59
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,453
- You're not gonna give her
full credit for that?
60
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,063
- She should have
done the voice,
61
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:32,978
although I get
why that's dicey.
62
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,851
- No, seriously, you guys
have to go or I'll make you go.
63
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,374
- I'm not going anywhere.
64
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:40,203
- Okay, okay, I think that
we've all had enough fun here.
65
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,465
Please leave.
66
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,206
- Bill, stand down.
I got this.
67
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,468
- You see, I'm the owner
of the property,
68
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,817
and if I call the cops,
they're gonna say
69
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,950
it was time to go
the moment I told you to,
70
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,039
and every second after that
is criminal trespassing.
71
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,475
- They get it, Bill.
72
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,522
You're mad,
and you're upper middle class.
73
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,306
- Then I'm gonna have to hire
a whole team of lawyers
74
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,526
to file a civil suit,
which, win or lose,
75
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:01,746
is gonna cost you tens
of thousands of dollars each.
76
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,313
Is that what you really want?
77
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:11,191
That's right, get.
78
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,194
- Did you just say "get"?
79
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,673
- Well, I was gonna say,
80
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,849
don't let the door hit you
where the good Lord split you,
81
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,200
but then I realized
the door opens out,
82
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:22,463
so that would not be possible.
83
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,160
Sort of harkens back
to the vectors
84
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,857
that I mentioned before.
85
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:31,776
And that is sort of
the origin story of get.
86
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,736
- Good job, Bill,
very impressive.
87
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,216
- That was pretty kick ass,
though, right?
88
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,695
Maybe even
worthy of a drink?
89
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,872
A free drink,
not a drink named after me.
90
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,310
Although...
91
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,529
If you were gonna
name a drink after me,
92
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,444
maybe it'd be something
like, um, I mean,
93
00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:50,491
just off the top of my head,
the Invinci-Bill.
94
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,536
Maybe that has wine
and Sprite in it, huh?
95
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:56,845
Or the Billini, which would
also have wine and Sprite.
96
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,890
I'd like a wine and Sprite,
please.
97
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:02,067
- Yeah, Bill, we should
name a drink after you.
98
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,592
I'm gonna call it, If You Ever
Butt In Like That Again,
99
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:07,856
I'll Tie Your Penis
into a Knot.
100
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,771
- Hold on, you're mad at me
for helping you?
101
00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:11,033
- Yes, Bill.
102
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:12,469
If something like that
ever happens again,
103
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,385
please, stay the hell
out of it.
104
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:20,912
- I got a name for your drink:
the piƱa Billada.
105
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:23,088
- My mug!
106
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,047
- What happened?
107
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,091
- I don't know.
108
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,397
I love this mug.
109
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,312
I got it in Reno
when the twins were born.
110
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,401
- Wait, you took
a trip to Reno
111
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,185
when you were
nine months pregnant?
112
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,622
- No, I took a trip to Reno
113
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,188
when I was
eight months pregnant
114
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:39,496
and I lost track of time.
115
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,759
Who the hell did this?
116
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:45,415
I promise I won't be mad,
but who?
117
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:48,810
- Yes, who is
the correct question
118
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,595
because it suggests
we don't know.
119
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:55,425
- Really, no one
is gonna own up to this?
120
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,861
- I'm so sorry, Beth.
121
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,515
I'm gonna help you find out
who did this.
122
00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:01,736
- No, Rosie, that--that
won't be necessary
123
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:07,089
because, Beth...
124
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:11,485
I am the one who's gonna
find out who did this.
125
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,138
- Thank you, James,
126
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:16,794
and when you find the coward,
I want you to take this shard
127
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:20,015
and sketch my face
into their forehead.
128
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:25,847
- That shard looks a little
too big for the detail work.
129
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:31,853
.
130
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,246
- Let me get this straight:
I did something nice--
131
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,770
- No, no, you did not
do something nice.
132
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,249
I had a basketball,
I was about to dunk it,
133
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:38,773
and then you took
the ball out of my hands
134
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,688
and you dunked it yourself.
135
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:42,472
- Does this discussion have
to take place right here?
136
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,126
I'm working on
the crossword puzzle,
137
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:47,825
and it's Saturday's,
so I'm trying to lock in.
138
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,044
- Abby, I was
just trying to help you.
139
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,133
- Bill, I did not
need your help.
140
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:53,962
- Hmm, see,
I'm doing it in ink.
141
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,485
Maybe you guys
would want to argue
142
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:58,445
on the back benches
or in a different backyard.
143
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:01,143
- You acted like I was
some damsel in distress
144
00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,536
who needed you
to come to my rescue.
145
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:03,798
- I did not. I just--
146
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:04,929
- And you just had
to save the day
147
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,322
with your legal mumbo jumbo,
148
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,845
like the world's
most boring knight
149
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,718
in the world's most
business casual armor.
150
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:14,286
- I didn't step in because
I know legal mumbo jumbo.
151
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,201
I got in there
because I'm--
152
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,639
well, you know, because
I'm bigger than you.
153
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:20,989
- You guys win.
154
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,208
This is more interesting
than my puzzle.
155
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:26,690
- So you think you're so strong
and I'm so weak?
156
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,389
Bill, I was a Marine, okay?
157
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:30,999
I can take you down
50 different ways.
158
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,217
Look at your neck.
159
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,785
There's, like, eight ways
right there.
160
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,265
- Just from
an objective standpoint,
161
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:37,832
I have a larger frame
than you, that's all.
162
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,487
My biology gives me
certain mechanical advantages.
163
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,923
- Bill has a point.
164
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,315
Say there was
a nine-year-old
165
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,187
with a black belt
that wanted to fight me.
166
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,884
It doesn't matter
that he has a black belt.
167
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,843
He's tiny,
and I'm a giant.
168
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,541
That kid is going down.
169
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,021
- With all due respect, Fred,
170
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,110
my sons know a nine-year-old
named Evan Lefkowitz.
171
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,503
He would destroy you.
172
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,113
- Huh.
173
00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:01,421
Anyplace, anytime,
any kid.
174
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,249
- The thing is, Abby,
I'm an engineer.
175
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,687
- Oh, really?
- Oh, that again.
176
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,297
- And as an engineer,
177
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,517
I have to consider things
like Newtonian force.
178
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,301
It's all about
fulcrum placement.
179
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,085
You got one lever--
in this case, it's my arm--
180
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,826
starts way up here.
181
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,480
Do you want to see what happens
when this pump gets primed?
182
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,438
Because I don't.
183
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,743
- No, Bill,
I don't want to see
184
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,397
when anything of yours
gets primed.
185
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,529
- You don't know what primed
means in this sort of--
186
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,747
- Abby, Bill, come on.
187
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:24,879
You're both adults.
188
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,576
This bickering is silly.
189
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:30,362
We should solve this thing
in a mature, grown-up way.
190
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,582
The two of you should put
your hands into the ice bin
191
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:36,194
for 30 seconds and then
open a big jar of olives.
192
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,240
- Yes, because that
is classically the correct way
193
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,155
to handle
this sort of situation.
194
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,722
- And if I win,
Bill apologizes.
195
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:42,897
- And just to be clear,
196
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,159
I'm apologizing
for helping you.
197
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,377
- Yes, that is correct.
198
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,814
- All right, fine,
you're on.
199
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,206
I don't open
a lot of olive jars,
200
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:52,297
but I do open
a lot of pickle jars.
201
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,822
And I'm fairly certain
that my skills in that area
202
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,520
will transfer over
to this new area.
203
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,306
- Bill, I gotta tell ya, that
is some weak-ass trash talk.
204
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,750
- Ugh, what's wrong
with this wine?
205
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:10,968
It tastes terrible.
206
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,796
- It's pinot grigio
from Ottawa.
207
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,103
What do you expect?
208
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,365
- It's the mug.
209
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,236
The wine doesn't taste right
210
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,674
because I'm not drinking
out of my Reno mug.
211
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,807
What if alcohol never
tastes the same again
212
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,200
and I end up drinking less?
213
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:30,335
What if I wake up in
the morning feeling okay?
214
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,775
- James, where are we
on the investigation?
215
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,386
- It's, uh--it's coming along.
216
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,519
I just need to get
a black light on Amazon Prime,
217
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:42,652
so we're looking at, like,
two business days right there.
218
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,308
- Could I speak to you
for a second?
219
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,575
You broke the mug,
didn't you?
220
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,621
- How did you know?
221
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,100
- You have a tell.
222
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,625
Every time you lie,
you're terrible at it.
223
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,497
Look, I know Beth
can be a little scary,
224
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,499
but she deserves
to know what happened.
225
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,066
- You're right.
226
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:08,199
Okay, here I go.
227
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,247
So, Beth...
- What do you got?
228
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:15,163
Did you find the gutless rat
that broke my mug?
229
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:18,819
- I did, and I didn't
have to look too far
230
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,081
to find him, either.
231
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:22,562
It was Dan!
232
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:25,521
- Who's Dan?
233
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,175
- Me, I'm Dan.
234
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,437
Did you need something?
235
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,874
I can't hear well
out of my left ear.
236
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,354
- Enough excuses, Dan,
237
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,574
if that's even
your real name.
238
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:38,142
That's probably not even
your real mustache either.
239
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,975
- All right, so we got
Bill versus Abby
240
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,542
in a test of strength
and toughness.
241
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,370
If Abby wins,
Bill apologizes,
242
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:52,548
and if Bill wins, we just kind
of keep goin' how we're goin'.
243
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,158
- When I say go,
244
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,638
you both put your hands
into the ice
245
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,814
for as long as it takes me
to finish my beer.
246
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:58,815
Are you ready?
247
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,469
On your mark, set, go.
248
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,906
- Okay, no,
this is fine.
249
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,212
This isn't bad.
250
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,866
This isn't bad--
oh, my God, it's so bad!
251
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,432
Oh!
252
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:10,218
Fred, I know for a fact
you can drink faster than that.
253
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,960
- Hey, Rosie,
that guy ever text you back?
254
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,614
- No, he called.
255
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,658
- Oh, wow.
256
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,704
So I was right.
He is a psychopath.
257
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:21,664
- Knives,
knives as fingers.
258
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,839
- And...open the jars.
259
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:25,755
- All right, Abby,
you got this.
260
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:26,930
Nice and easy.
261
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:27,975
- Just gotta--
262
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,065
Butterfingers.
263
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,588
Frozen Butterfingers,
which are delicious,
264
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,765
but that's a guaranteed
trip to the dentist.
265
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:36,940
- Everything okay, Abs?
266
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,550
- Yeah, just trying
to get a grip.
267
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,596
- Ah, done.
268
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,553
- What?
269
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:42,903
- Why do you all
look so shocked?
270
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,644
I told you I had
pickle jar skills.
271
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,559
I also predicted
that those skills
272
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:48,952
would carry over
into this new area.
273
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,911
Do you remember,
from the trash talk?
274
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,216
- No, no,
I didn't lose.
275
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,348
You cheated.
You dropped the jar.
276
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,697
That must have loosened it.
277
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,003
This doesn't prove
you're stronger than me.
278
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,221
We gotta do another challenge.
279
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,701
- Abby, let it go,
all right?
280
00:10:58,745 --> 00:10:59,920
Just admit that I'm the champ
and you're the chump
281
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,617
and we'll move on.
282
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,968
- No, no, I challenge you
to literally anything else.
283
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,274
How about a duel?
284
00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:07,623
Not with guns, obviously,
but with swords.
285
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,973
I have swords!
286
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,540
Or, or, a keg carry!
287
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,933
Yes, we'll do a keg carry!
288
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,630
- What?
289
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,110
- Yeah, I'll clear this area,
and we'll see who can carry
290
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,633
a full keg around the bar
the fastest.
291
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,243
But that's gonna
be hard for me to do
292
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,637
because the grill is lit
and my hands are burning.
293
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:28,905
.
294
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:31,255
- Why don't you let us
handle the bar
295
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,474
until your hands feel better?
- Guys, I'm fine.
296
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,954
- You're not fine.
297
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:34,955
You burned both of your hands.
You're in pain.
298
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:35,956
- No, really,
I'm okay.
299
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:38,306
Somebody high-five me.
300
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,134
Do it!
301
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,310
- Interesting.
302
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,181
- I never thought
I'd say this, Bill,
303
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:47,010
but I need to know right now
what you think is interesting.
304
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,969
- I just realized
why you got so upset
305
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,231
when I stepped in before.
306
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,580
It's not about me.
307
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,364
You have a problem
accepting help from anyone.
308
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,018
- That's not true.
309
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,324
When people hold doors open
for me, I walk through them.
310
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,282
I don't just stand there
like some weirdo.
311
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,763
- All right, fine,
prove me wrong.
312
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,069
Let them help you with the bar.
313
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,202
- No problem.
314
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:09,119
Fred, would you be so kind
as to answer the phone for me?
315
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,425
- Yes.
316
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,863
Hello?
317
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:17,084
No, this is Abby's, not Arby's.
318
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,217
Yeah, there's one
on Midway Drive.
319
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:23,177
There's one, uh, well,
the Mission Gorge Road one,
320
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:27,616
their bathroom requires
a key code so...
321
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:31,054
I do.
It's pound 9244.
322
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,449
- Yeah, whoa, what are you
doing over there?
323
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,451
- Oh, there's just
a little pileup here
324
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:37,974
and there's a maraschino cherry
sticking to one of the glasses,
325
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,454
so I'm just gonna
turn on the sink.
326
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:40,890
- You don't have to do that
327
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:41,891
because you don't have
a problem accepting help.
328
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,240
Beth can do it, right?
329
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,764
- Sure, I'm always
happy to help.
330
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,114
Actually,
that's not true at all.
331
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:50,770
But I will do this now.
332
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,775
- Cool.
333
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,080
Yep, okay.
334
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:59,953
Yeah, yeah, I'll just--
just go inside
335
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:03,217
and, uh, I'll just
let this happen, yeah.
336
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,566
- Let us know
if you need anything.
337
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:07,221
- I don't--
will do.
338
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,928
- Dan, you've been
accused of a bar crime,
339
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,843
breaking the mug
of a regular.
340
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,105
Now, in accordance
with rule 84,
341
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,628
the trial will now begin
342
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:25,108
and you will have 30 seconds
to defend yourself.
343
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:25,892
Go!
344
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,981
- Oh, no, I--
345
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:30,810
It wasn't me.
I love mugs.
346
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,203
I have my own mugs at home.
347
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,510
I even drink soup
out of mugs.
348
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,382
I would never break a mug.
349
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,254
Ask my friends.
350
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,691
- I mean, once when
we were in Oregon,
351
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:43,953
he did break a plate.
352
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,391
- Jessica, why?
353
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,526
- A pattern emerges.
354
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,702
- Well, now that
all the evidence is in,
355
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,138
who votes guilty?
356
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,185
- Oh, no, but I'm innocent.
357
00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:00,013
- Dan, we just had
an exhaustive trial.
358
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,362
You're guilty.
359
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:05,975
- What's up?
360
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,498
- You're really gonna
pin this on Dan?
361
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,065
- I have to.
362
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,675
Beth is scary, and we
don't have a lot in common.
363
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,722
We're not tight like you
and Abby or me and Bill
364
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:17,857
or Dan and Jessica, although
I think that's over now.
365
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:22,035
I'm just saying, I feel like if
she finds out I broke her mug,
366
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,167
she might cut me
out of her life
367
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:27,301
or cut me
with that big shard.
368
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:28,998
And if she puts her face
on my face,
369
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:32,045
when I go to the club,
who ID I'ma use?
370
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,876
- Dan, as per rule 84,
subsection B,
371
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:40,314
I hereby sentence you to an
evening in the sprinkler chair.
372
00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:41,706
- Oh, no.
373
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,360
What's the sprinkler chair?
374
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,928
- That chair that sits over
the faulty sprinkler head,
375
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,322
which can go off
at any moment.
376
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:53,675
The punishment is the
anticipation of getting wet
377
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:56,025
and also getting wet.
378
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,637
- But I don't
want to get wet.
379
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:03,250
- Wet man walkin'.
380
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,124
- Abby, what are you doing?
We got this.
381
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,647
- I'm fine, Bill.
382
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,954
- Okay, just wallow
in all that help.
383
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,956
You know, just let it
consume you,
384
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,220
like a charitable quicksand.
385
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:19,440
- Could I get a--
oh, so sorry.
386
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:22,399
I didn't realize you
couldn't do anything.
387
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,403
Damn, that must
have been hard to hear.
388
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:29,015
- That's it.
Everybody stop helping.
389
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,407
- Kind of proving
my point here, Abby.
390
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,626
- No, no, no, no.
391
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,367
I would happily accept help
if I needed it,
392
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,716
but right now,
I don't need it.
393
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:35,760
So, you,
what do you want?
394
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:36,761
- Um, a bottle of beer.
395
00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:38,938
- Great.
396
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,299
You, go.
397
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,648
- A mojito?
398
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,282
- That'll be 7.50.
399
00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:05,241
Who's next?
400
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:12,292
.
401
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:15,077
- All that spilled alcohol.
402
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,557
What a waste.
403
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:20,213
- Hey, Abby.
- Not now, Bill.
404
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,303
I said not now, Bill.
405
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,087
- No, Abby,
I just want to apologize, okay.
406
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:28,090
You were upset before
and I pushed
407
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:31,528
that stupid point so hard
and I'm sorry.
408
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,096
- Well, it's not
all on you.
409
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,403
It is possible that
I may have overreacted
410
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:37,795
when everyone
was helping me.
411
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:41,451
- Well, I mean,
I would never say that but...
412
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,323
other people might say that.
413
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,325
- The thing is, Bill,
when you just took over
414
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:48,371
with those guys earlier,
it set something off in me.
415
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,591
You gotta understand,
when I was in the Marines,
416
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:53,028
men were just looking
for me to fail,
417
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,336
so I worked hard to make sure I
never needed help from anybody.
418
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:59,904
- I get that,
and, well, honestly,
419
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,515
I didn't think
I was stepping in before
420
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:03,082
because you're a woman,
421
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:07,695
but if it was Fred or James,
I don't know if I would have.
422
00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,000
- Well, I appreciate
you admitting that,
423
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,915
but always step in
to help James.
424
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,919
Here's the thing,
though, Abby,
425
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:18,401
you and I are committing
an ongoing criminal conspiracy
426
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,360
to keep an illegal bar
operating, so...
427
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,711
we should probably learn
to take help from one another.
428
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:25,147
- Well, I have to admit,
429
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,454
your legal threats
were kind of helpful.
430
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:30,196
- See? Yes.
431
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,894
- I guess I could use
some help with my shoe.
432
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,504
The laces have been
untied for an hour,
433
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,158
and they're
driving me crazy.
434
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,595
- I got ya.
435
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,651
Do you feel better now?
- Yes!
436
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,132
See, Bill, eight different
ways just in the neck.
437
00:18:57,701 --> 00:19:01,096
- Oh, ah.
438
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,317
Oh, sorry,
thought I heard it going off.
439
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,666
False alarm.
440
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,798
My brain is doing
most of the torture.
441
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,976
Ah, there it is!
442
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,283
Nope, sorry, another falsie.
443
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:24,685
- Beth, I got something
I gotta tell you.
444
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,208
I'm the one
who broke your mug.
445
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:27,209
I'm sorry.
446
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:28,341
- What?
447
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,125
James,
why didn't you say something?
448
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,432
- Because our relationship
is like your mug.
449
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:33,607
It's fragile.
450
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,043
We don't have
anything in common,
451
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,785
and I was scared that if
you knew I broke your mug,
452
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:40,483
you would cut me
out your life
453
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,182
or cut me physically.
454
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,748
And if you put
your face on my face,
455
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,316
that's gonna
confuse your kids.
456
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,797
- James, come on.
457
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,235
We don't have a lot in common,
but I like that.
458
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,237
You know who I have
a lot in common with?
459
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:56,847
The moms at school,
460
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,285
and they never shut up about
their kids and their husbands
461
00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:02,244
and their jobs
and their charity work.
462
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,115
Ugh, get a life.
463
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,075
We have the most
important thing in common
464
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:10,774
that two people can have:
we drink together.
465
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,126
That's a sacred bond.
466
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,914
My mug.
467
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,045
- Yeah, I found
most of the pieces,
468
00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,743
and then Bill
filled in the gaps
469
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:25,311
with this 3-D printer thing
he overexplained.
470
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,139
And then he glued it
all back together.
471
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,011
Did you guys know
that Bill's an engineer?
472
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:32,013
- Yeah, it's come up.
- Is that right?
473
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:35,712
- Yep, I always keep
good glue in my car.
474
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,192
And I see the way
you're looking at me,
475
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,933
but I think it's cool
and I'm glad I told you.
476
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,370
- Hey, Dan, I've got news!
477
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,633
- Oh, oh!
478
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:44,895
It's worse than I thought.
479
00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:48,638
Oh, the water is
very highly pressurized.
480
00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:50,858
Oh, I hate this a lot.
It's--oh...
481
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:52,642
- Blood pact to never
talk about this again?
482
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,254
- Yeah.
- Sounds good.
483
00:20:57,734 --> 00:21:00,520
- Four-letter word
for "word."
484
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,000
This clue is like
a snake eating itself.
485
00:21:04,175 --> 00:21:05,655
- So, uh, yesterday, you said
486
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:08,832
you could beat a nine-year-old
with a black belt?
487
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:12,096
Well, this is Evan Lefkowitz.
488
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:14,751
He just placed
in a national competition.
489
00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,454
- Yeah, he could take me.
35612
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