All language subtitles for Marvellous.2014.720p.BluRay.x264.YIFY

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,499 This is my story. 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:07,979 Right. 3 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:02,619 My, my, my, Delilah. 4 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:09,539 Why, why, why, Delilah? 5 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:16,619 I could see that girl was no good for me 6 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:22,939 but I was lost like a slave that no man could free. 7 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:29,339 I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window. 8 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:36,299 I saw the flickering shadow of love on her blind. 9 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:43,419 She was my woman. 10 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:51,620 As she betrayed me I watched and went out of my mind. 11 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:57,099 My, my, my, Delilah. 12 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:03,699 Why, why, why, Delilah? 13 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:11,979 I could see that girl was no good for me 14 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:17,139 but I was lost like a slave that no man could free. 15 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:25,299 At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting. 16 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:31,539 I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door. 17 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,299 She stood there laughing. 18 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:44,859 I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more. 19 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:51,939 My, my, my, Delilah. 20 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:58,899 Why, why, why, Delilah? 21 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:06,860 So before they come to break down the door 22 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:11,819 forgive me Delilah, I just couldn't take any more. 23 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,380 Mr Capello? 24 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,380 Mr Capello, my pay's short. 25 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,460 Well, you're short so now you match. 26 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,620 I mean, it's supposed to be £25 and it's not £25. 27 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,260 - So sue me. - It's supposed to be £25 and it's not. 28 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,820 You're more than welcome to go and see if Zippo's will pay you any more. 29 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,979 Now, beggar off. We're on. 30 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,500 Well, what about... cooking? 31 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,180 Cooking? Definitely no cooking. 32 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,739 What, no cooking? 33 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,259 I told you! 34 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,899 No cooking even with a frying pan? 35 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,260 I told you, no cooking! 36 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,179 Alright, it's a deal. No cooking. 37 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,860 Alright, now fuck off. 38 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,019 Nello, ladies and gentlemen! 39 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:25,820 Can I help you? 40 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,460 Yes, I'm a friend of the Bishop. 41 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,980 And... which Bishop would that be? 42 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,020 Bishop of Keele. Bishop of Lichfield. 43 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,020 And the Archbishop of Canterbury is also a very good friend of mine. 44 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,179 Could you give me a lift? 45 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,380 Of course, of course. Where would you need a lift to, exactly? 46 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,179 Stoke-on-Trent. 47 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,260 Right. Well, that's quite a drive! 48 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,100 It is, yes. Thank you. 49 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,659 - I didn't necessarily say that I'd... - Have you had your breakfast? 50 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,940 - I have indeed. - Oh. I haven't. 51 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,419 Very nice of you to ask. Thanks. 52 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,420 Right. 53 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:08,340 Yes. 54 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,580 Ok. 55 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,139 Ok, thank you. 56 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,620 I can take you as far as Dumfries 57 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,060 and then your mum has arranged for your local vicar to come and get you from there. 58 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,420 Marvellous. 59 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,820 You've got a tow bar, haven't you? 60 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,579 A tow bar? 61 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,739 Why would I need a tow bar? 62 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,699 Is there any more toast? 63 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,860 Should he be wandering around the country on his own like this? 64 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,700 He's clearly got special needs of some sort. 65 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,220 Well, he doesn't have much trouble finding help. 66 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,980 In fact, he seems positively blessed in that regard. 67 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,259 Is he in the habit of doing this? 68 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:50,460 Well, he does seem to view the Church as being some sort of ecclesiastical AA. 69 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:51,540 Oh. 70 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,860 He says he's a good friend of the Bishop of Lichfield. 71 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,940 Yes, that's true. 72 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,460 And the Archbishop of Canterbury. 73 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,140 Well, if Neil says he knows someone, then he usually does. 74 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,539 How does he get to know them? 75 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,219 By being Neil. 76 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,780 Thanks! 77 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,180 Oh, that's quite alright. 78 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,259 Er, would you mind signing this before you go? 79 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,539 A Bible? 80 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,060 Are you sure? Slightly irregular. 81 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,739 Thanks. 82 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,500 No, not the front. 83 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,900 Er, that's for Bishops and Archbishops. 84 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,819 There's space above that for regular clergy. 85 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,500 Right. 86 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,339 So there is. 87 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,700 I've got them all in there. 88 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,500 Desmond Tutu, Terry Waite... 89 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,980 Rowan Williams, Jimmy Greenhoff... 90 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,099 I wasn't aware Jimmy Greenhoff had been ordained! 91 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,700 He hasn't. 92 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:06,620 He scored 76 goals in 274 games for Stoke City. 93 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,100 - He was marvellous. - Right, right, well... 94 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,899 There you are. 95 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,699 Thanks. Thank you. 96 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,660 Your mum'll be pleased to see you. 97 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:36,379 I bet she will. I'll be pleased to see her. 98 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,820 The truth is, she's not been so well lately. 99 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,339 Right. 100 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,820 And I know it's hard to think about these things 101 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,259 but your mum's not getting any younger. 102 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,860 No, she's not. 103 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,580 None of us are. 104 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,140 And that's life. 105 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,059 So we have to make the most of it. 106 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:42,980 Hiya, Mum. 107 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,579 Oh, there's a sight for sore eyes. 108 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,660 Let me have a look at you. 109 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,300 So how have you been keeping without me to keep any eye on you, like? 110 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,939 I've been tip-top, me. Tip-top. 111 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,459 It's a robin. 112 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,420 Oh, he's back, is he? 113 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,419 He was here last week. 114 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,820 I bet he missed you. 115 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,139 Bet he did. 116 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,339 That's why he's come back. 117 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,579 Neil, love. 118 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,540 When I let you join that circus, you said they'd look after you. 119 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,460 They did look after me. 120 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,540 Just that one ringmaster took against me. 121 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,900 It only takes one. 122 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,140 I'm nice to people and people are nice to me. 123 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,259 And if they're not nice to me, then they're all the people who are. 124 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,860 I won't be here forever. 125 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,620 Don't talk like that. 126 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,259 Well, we all die one day, Neil. 127 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,500 Until Jesus returns 128 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,060 and raises his sleeping followers from death 129 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,740 and grants immortality to the faithful. 130 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,260 So there you are then. 131 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,019 Jesus 1, Mary Baldwin 0. 132 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,900 I want to know that you can look after yourself 133 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,980 when I'm not here to do it any more. 134 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,100 Don't get taken advantage of. 135 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,779 - Hold down a job. - I've got a job. 136 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,540 - You've been sacked. - A new job. 137 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,539 At the university. 138 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,459 Oh, that's lovely. 139 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,499 When did they offer you this? 140 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,379 Tomorrow. 141 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,420 When you first came to Keele were you nervous? 142 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,259 I'm never nervous. 143 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,827 Hello. I'm Neil Baldwin. 144 00:12:01,927 --> 00:12:04,540 - Welcome to Keele University. - Hello. 145 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,614 I'm Neil Baldwin. 146 00:12:05,714 --> 00:12:07,900 - Welcome to Keele University. - Alright? 147 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,749 Hello. I'm Neil Baldwin. 148 00:12:09,849 --> 00:12:12,199 - Welcome to Keele University. - Hiya. 149 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,980 Hello. I'm Neil Baldwin. Welcome to Keele University. 150 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,380 Hiya. I'm Malcolm. Stoke City fan? 151 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,540 I am, yes. Very much so. 152 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,180 - Are you? - Yeah. 153 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,540 Yeah, I am. 154 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,820 So, do you work here, do you? 155 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,339 Yes, I think I do. 156 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:35,979 Ta. 157 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,499 ...an explanation for perceptual error. 158 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:30,460 The example of the Phantom Limb is a pretty strong refutation of the notion 159 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:35,819 that our perception of reality and external reality are one and the same thing... 160 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:38,420 ...Enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink. 161 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:44,700 The years go by as swiftly as a wink. 162 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:51,579 Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think! 163 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,140 Is that a chaffinch? 164 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,500 What exactly is it that you do up there, Neil? 165 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,020 At the university? 166 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,900 It is a chaffinch, you know. It's got wing bars. 167 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,540 Neil Baldwin. 168 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,539 As much as I love birds, I will not be knocked off-course by plumage talk. 169 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,540 What are you doing there, at Keele? 170 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,299 All sorts. 171 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,259 And what does it pay, this 'all sorts'? 172 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,620 Look at the birds of the air. 173 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:40,300 They neither sow, nor reap nor gather into barns. 174 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,819 Yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. 175 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:54,500 When I started work, I read my Bible every dinner break. 176 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,300 And they made fun of me. 177 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,859 They called me Holy Mary. 178 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:03,219 I could be a vicar, then I'd be Holy Neil. 179 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,500 Is that why you don't want a normal job? 180 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,739 Because you're worried they'll pick on you? 181 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,539 I like the Church of England. 182 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,220 I like performing. 183 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,140 I believe in God. 184 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:21,139 That does put you three up on most of the Church of England clergy I've encountered. 185 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,780 But there are other things you need, Neil. 186 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,619 Bifocals. 187 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,300 I was thinking qualifications. 188 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,540 - You alright, Nello? - Hiya, Steve. 189 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,139 Wigan on Saturday! 190 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,060 Who's that? 191 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,020 Steve. He's a very good friend of mine. 192 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,140 You've never mentioned him before? 193 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,859 Well... I only met him yesterday. 194 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,820 Well, the good news is they are looking for pot dippers at Susie Cooper's. 195 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,940 I used to work for Susie Cooper's. 196 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:54,180 I was the recipient of many a compliment on my eye for colour. 197 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,100 I think our Neil's got the same. 198 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,380 Thank you, but it's not what I'm looking for. 199 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,739 What are you looking for? 200 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,740 What would you like to do, Neil? 201 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,180 I'd like to manage Stoke City. 202 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:10,300 Or be a vicar. Either is fine. I'm flexible. 203 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,780 Ok. And... what are you qualified to do? 204 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:20,259 I helped the students out at Keele. And I'm a registered clown. 205 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,540 Are you indeed? 206 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,780 What have you gone and brought that here for? 207 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,179 That's Nello. 208 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,539 Did you do this? 209 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,700 Just look at that paintwork! 210 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,620 Not a million miles away from ceramics. 211 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,739 That's right, he's a dab hand. 212 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,220 It's an egg of, with your make up on, and it's registered. 213 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,580 You can sue anyone who steals your make up. 214 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,780 I don't think Elaine wants to hear about all that now. 215 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,540 And are there any openings in the circus right now? 216 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,380 Not at the moment, no. 217 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,940 Charlie Cairoli's a very good friend of mine. 218 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,660 I've got his number, if you'd like it. 219 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,380 Just say Neil said to ring him. 220 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,940 - I meant for you. - 0272... 221 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,300 496 0725. 222 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,900 Neil! 223 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,700 Sorry. He does go off on tangents now and then. 224 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,140 But you don't think he has any vacancies? 225 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,140 For you. 226 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,420 No. 227 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,980 That's why I mentioned the vicaring or football manager. 228 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:26,019 Doesn't have to be Stoke, but I draw the line at Port Vale. 229 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,500 There are schemes to help people into work 230 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:38,260 who otherwise might have... difficulties. 231 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:41,299 Why are you telling me that? 232 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,699 Fruit Pastilles do not count as fruit and you know it. 233 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,780 You'll be turning me vegetarian if I'm not careful. 234 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,780 If in doubt when I'm not here, ask Doris on the till. 235 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,740 She'll tell you what's healthy and what's not. 236 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:00,900 Doris? 237 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,780 She doesn't look all that well to me. 238 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,099 She can keep an eye out for you. 239 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,100 Looks like I should be keeping an eye on her. 240 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:12,739 Oh, for goodness' sake! All I want to know is you can stand on your own two feet! 241 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,500 It's more than my life's worth, Neil. 242 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,739 I thought eggs were good for you. 243 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,940 Mary, you alright, duck? 244 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,340 Yes, yes. 245 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,699 Just the price of these tinned peaches. Taken the wind right out of me. 246 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:05,979 Neil. 247 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,660 I have been praying very hard about this, and you know what? 248 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,700 I think you're ready for a place of your own. 249 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,660 I've got a place of my own. This place. 250 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,340 A place of your very own. Not too far away. A little flat. 251 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,819 Move out? 252 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,020 Of my home? 253 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:26,780 Well, somewhere nice, you know 254 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,100 where you can start to be more... independent 255 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,100 and manage, you know. 256 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,979 But I do manage. 257 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,699 When have I ever gone without? 258 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,900 Do you think it's God's will? 259 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,740 Well, that's a difficult one, but I think it might be, yes. 260 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,700 Not my mum's will? 261 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:02,300 I think on this occasion, as is so often the case 262 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,779 your mother's will and God's will might be one and the same thing. 263 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,380 Is that the choir? 264 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,660 Yes. Are you joining? We're still short of baritones. 265 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,740 I'd love to help you out more but I've got a lot of stuff to do. 266 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,620 Oh, really? Like what? 267 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,500 I'm behind on my bird-watching. 268 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,940 The Gerry Cottle Circus are in town. 269 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,659 I'm writing an extra verse for the Lord's Prayer. 270 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,379 You're not joking, are you? 271 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,460 There's still half your Stoke City programmes up there. 272 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,339 I'll come back for them. 273 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,859 All grown up? My Neil. 274 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,179 Don't worry, Mum. I'll not forget you. 275 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,980 This is very kind of you, Malcolm. 276 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,940 Give to him who asks you. And from him who wants to borrow do not turn away. 277 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:54,980 Matthew: 5. 278 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,900 Oh, I wouldn't say no to half a lager at the student union. 279 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,219 Malcolm: 1. 280 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,700 You alright, Neil? 281 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,379 Yes. Let's get this over with. 282 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,819 We'll have it dark. 283 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,659 Here, Malcolm. 284 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,779 Ok. 285 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,060 Don't know how all that came loose. 286 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,859 Not got an eagle in there, have you? 287 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,299 What do you think of that? 288 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,060 What's the Neil Baldwin football club when it's at home? 289 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,620 My own team. 290 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,739 Picked by me, managed by me, captained by me. 291 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,940 - At least you can't be dropped. - Exactly. 292 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,579 You're Vice President. 293 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,100 Am I? Right. Not President then? 294 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:22,739 Gary Lineker is President. I'm just going to write to him to tell him the good news. 295 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,780 In other news, Stoke City have announced... 296 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,060 the departure of their manager, Graham Paddon 297 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,940 after just 18 games in charge. 298 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,620 The club's board thanked him for his hard work and dedication 299 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,459 and have said they'll act quickly to find a replacement... 300 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,499 Come in, Mark. 301 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,139 Thank you for coming. 302 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,499 I'd use my own minister but he tends to be more in demand. 303 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,900 It is addressed to Neil. 304 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,459 I can see that. That's what worries me. 305 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,300 Remember that misunderstanding around the payment for the coach hire? 306 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,300 I do. 307 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,100 It cast a long shadow over the Alzheimer's picnic. 308 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,140 He isn't terribly good with money. 309 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,979 And who can forget what Paul reminded us in Romans? 310 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:40,940 Indeed. 311 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,580 Owe no one anything except to love each other. 312 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,740 I'm not sure that can be applied directly to contemporary financial transactions. 313 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,579 I want you to steam open the envelope and tell me what's inside it. 314 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,540 I don't know about that. 315 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,340 Well, I'm a Christadelphian but you're Church of England. 316 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,700 How's that relevant? 317 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:02,139 Well, firstly, Neil is Church of England so, spiritually speaking, he is of your flock. 318 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,537 And secondly, I think of the Church of England 319 00:25:05,638 --> 00:25:09,119 as having a less rigorous moral code than my own. 320 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,899 What's he going to do when I'm not here to look after him? 321 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,899 We can appoint trustees. 322 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:21,980 And he seems to manage. 323 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,499 He has his adventures and... 324 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,979 How much is it for? 325 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:35,179 You might want to bear in mind you're talking to a woman with an enlarged aorta. 326 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,499 When was your last check-up? 327 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,699 £800. 328 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,500 Oh, I should never have let him move out! 329 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,820 - This is my fault. - No, Mary! 330 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,700 I'm sure there's a way of paying this by instalments. 331 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,060 - I'll go over and see him right now. - No, he's not there! 332 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,899 He's gone up to London. 333 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:54,300 Right. 334 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,459 On parliamentary business, so he said. 335 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:32,699 Where are you going, mate? 336 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,059 House of Commons. 337 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,019 Figures. 338 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,700 Is Tony Benn in today? 339 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,579 Couldn't tell you that, sir. 340 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,780 Well, could you not find out if he's clocked on or not? 341 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,099 I can't move from here, I'm afraid. 342 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,260 Could you leave him this note? 343 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:09,619 I'm a friend of his son, Stephen's, from Keele University. 344 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,419 Thanks. 345 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,340 Did you really meet him? 346 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,260 Yes. 347 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,659 He was very nice to me. 348 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,420 Poor Tony. 349 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,299 Poor Tony, yes. 350 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,980 Did you mention our drains to him? 351 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,739 He was very busy. 352 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,500 They've not been right since next door did that paella for their ruby wedding. 353 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:02,739 No. 354 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,860 They were going to go barbeque 355 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,419 but the forecast was for low pressure from the east. 356 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,220 £800! That's not right. 357 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,419 No, it's not right, Neil. It's not right at all! 358 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:21,140 I buy an electric stamp, every week, from the Post Office. £5. 359 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,260 Neil, that only pays off £60. 360 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:25,820 This is the electricity you've actually used. 361 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,300 How do you even begin to use this much? 362 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,220 I pay a fiver a week. 363 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,220 I buy a stamp. Ask the woman at the Post Office. 364 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,979 How do you use that much? 365 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:36,860 I don't. 366 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,500 The budgies do. 367 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,620 I have to keep them warm, don't I? 368 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,260 Please tell me you don't have that two-bar electric fire on all day and night? 369 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:45,419 Why shouldn't I? 370 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,099 I pay it. I buy a stamp. 371 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,299 I've got it in a book somewhere. 372 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,259 - How are we going to find £800? - Don't worry, Mum. 373 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,020 Neil, love. 374 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,819 The whole point of you moving out was so you could learn to manage these things. 375 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,580 I'll pay it off when I get the Stoke City job. 376 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,419 There is no Stoke City job. 377 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:17,499 They appointed Lou Macari as the new manager this dinnertime. 378 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,060 Then I'll go and see him. First thing tomorrow. 379 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,419 And Lou Macari's going to pay your electricity bill, is he? 380 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:29,499 I wouldn't have thought so. Why would he do that? 381 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,459 God bless Dad. Look after him. 382 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:39,859 And God bless Mum. And let her not worry any more. 383 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,259 God bless the students. 384 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:50,619 And God bless Norman Barrett MBE, of Zippo's Circus. 385 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,019 God bless Gordon Banks. 386 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,499 God bless... 387 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,459 Ken Dodd. 388 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,500 And God bless Lou Macari 389 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:09,460 and help him in his task to return Stoke City to the top division. 390 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,019 Amen. 391 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,579 Or to the play-offs, at least. 392 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,659 For like Job we have been sorely destined. 393 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:39,739 Why, why, why, Delilah? 394 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:41,899 So before... 395 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,980 - You can take us up, Lou. - I hope so. I really hope so. 396 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,940 No, I mean I know you will. 397 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,380 Aye, good, great. Aye. Top man. 398 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:58,100 I told my vicar he'll make Bishop one day, and I'll be right about that too. 399 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,699 Aye, right, great. That's... that's great. 400 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,939 - Macari! - Macari! 401 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,780 Not been waiting out there all day, have you? 402 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:55,820 I have, yeah. 403 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,140 In case you needed me, like. 404 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,900 That's very good of you, but have you not got work to do? 405 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,339 I'm out of work at the moment. 406 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,900 I'm sorry to hear that. 407 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,460 And what's your trade? 408 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,900 Circus clown. 409 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,180 Alright. 410 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:12,739 And what was your act? 411 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,620 Making people happy, you know. 412 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,860 I used to get chucked off the back of a fire engine every night. 413 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:21,979 So how come you got sacked? 414 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,459 Face didn't fit. 415 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,180 Night, then. 416 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:30,379 Night. 417 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,539 A clown, you say? 418 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,379 How do you fancy coming to work for me? 419 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:39,780 Kit man? 420 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,820 It'd be great, yeah. 421 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:46,540 I'll have to square it with the university, like, but I think they'll be alright with it. 422 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,700 What do you do at the university? 423 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,980 Help them out. With the students. 424 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,540 What, you don't get flung off the back of a fire truck there as well? 425 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,460 No, it's not really called for. 426 00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,699 I suppose not. 427 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,780 Well, I'll see you on Monday then, aye? 428 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,979 See you Monday, Lou. 429 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,739 Top man. 430 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,699 Are you absolutely sure you've got this right, Neil? 431 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,220 The manager of Stoke City, Mr Lou Macari 432 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,300 offering you, Neil Baldwin, a job? 433 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,219 Mr Lou Macari of Manchester United and Scotland, yes. 434 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,740 I'm starting a file on him. 435 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,460 You want a biscuit? 436 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,620 No, but you have one. Don't make crumbs. 437 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,539 You can only just see the pattern on the carpet as it is. 438 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,499 I know better than anyone how much you love football. 439 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,659 I know you love football because of me. 440 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,259 It's just that... 441 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,339 What exactly does it entail, this job? 442 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,020 Laying out the clean kit, picking up the dirty kit 443 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,700 taking it to the laundry. 444 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,659 Well, you had me believing you 'til then. 445 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,899 You've never so much as picked up a dirty sock in your lifetime. 446 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,179 Your bedroom's like the hold in Noah's ark. 447 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,660 Are you sure you've got that right? 448 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:25,180 Are you sure you've got this right? 449 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,819 Tell the boss Nello's here. 450 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,739 What can I say? He was the right man for the job. 451 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,499 Thank you very much. 452 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,099 Come on. 453 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,220 O ye of little faith. 454 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,899 Wherefore didst thou doubt? 455 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,899 Matthew: 14. 456 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,020 Come on, out of the way! 457 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,820 You don't want any more injuries! 458 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,180 Who's that? 459 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,979 New kit man. 460 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,060 Keep it tight. 461 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,860 Get in behind that lumbering fullback of theirs. 462 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,300 Defending corners we leave Laino up. 463 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,940 But we need to get tight on their two big lads at corners. 464 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,979 Paddy, you stick to that big fella like glue. Alright? Don't let him breathe. 465 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,180 First to the ball. Don't give them time or space. 466 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,580 Now, we do that in the first 10 minutes and they won't worry us. 467 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:39,939 Laino. What? 468 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,259 What is it, son? 469 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,659 Oh, for fuck's sake! 470 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:48,940 Get in here, you! 471 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:54,659 What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fucking hell is that? 472 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,180 Well done, lads. Great stuff out there today! 473 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,140 Well played, Paddy, son. 474 00:36:18,240 --> 00:36:19,779 Well played, lads. 475 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,499 Oh fuck off! 476 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:30,859 Kick him out! He's trying to cheat! He's trying to cheat! 477 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,819 I took the head off. 478 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,140 Just in time, by the looks of you. 479 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:42,179 Bloody hell, Nello. A few spuds round you and you make a roast dinner. 480 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,420 I talked a girl out of killing herself once. 481 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,180 Young student. 482 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,539 What, dressed as a chicken? 483 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,140 No, course not. 484 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:54,060 Dressed as Father Christmas. 485 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,699 Oh, right. 486 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,459 And what's that got to do with the chicken suit? 487 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,899 Fancy dress. Good for morale. 488 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,620 Charlie Cairoli taught me that. 489 00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:07,019 He's a very good friend of mine. 490 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,059 Just out of interest 491 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,259 what did you say to that girl who wanted to kill herself? 492 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:26,859 I said, 'we've all got to go sometime, love, but why do you have to go now'? 493 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,779 Night. 494 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,900 - Alright, gorgeous? - Alright. 495 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,060 - Ey up, how's it going, Nello? - Good, yeah. 496 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,939 Nello! Nello! 497 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:57,620 Alright, mong? 498 00:37:57,720 --> 00:37:59,939 Make sure that tea's ready and waiting for tomorrow. 499 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:01,860 I'm not a mong. 500 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,299 I'm a registered clown. 501 00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,380 That was a bit harsh. 502 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,539 You've got to carry on. 503 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,340 Didn't you feel he was picking on you? 504 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:16,940 Because of your difficulties? 505 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,179 What difficulties? 506 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:29,299 O Lord my God 507 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:41,499 when I in awesome wonder consider all the works thy hand hath made 508 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,540 I see the stars 509 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:50,620 I hear the mighty thunder 510 00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:58,139 thy power throughout the universe displayed. 511 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:06,139 Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to thee 512 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:14,179 how great thou art, how great thou art! 513 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:21,499 Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to thee 514 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:31,379 how great thou art, how great thou art! 515 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,579 ...You fat bastard! You fat bastard! 516 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:56,020 When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur 517 00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:03,539 and hear the brook, and feel the gentle breeze. 518 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:11,059 Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to thee... 519 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,099 - A shock signing? - Well, he's a bit of an unknown quantity. 520 00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:19,940 I don't even really want to reveal his name. 521 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,780 Er, we'll let him do his own talking on the pitch. 522 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,140 And he'll be given an opportunity at pre-season matches. 523 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,299 We've got to get some weight off him. 524 00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:32,260 Er, he's not in the best of condition. 525 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,419 But you know, I put my head on the chopping block and... 526 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,740 and have taken that opportunity and brought him here. 527 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:40,660 Let's just see what lies ahead, Ivan. 528 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,659 Let's just take it from game to game. 529 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,619 Well, he's, er... He's Neil, isn't he? 530 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,539 You know what I mean. 531 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,339 I know. Neil, my son. Yes. 532 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,420 But he's just great to have around. 533 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,340 He's, er, well, he's funny. 534 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,580 He doesn't always mean to be. 535 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,899 Aye, well that does make it a wee bit funnier. 536 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,980 If you don't mind me saying. 537 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,739 No, not at all. 538 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,620 ...couldn't fucking turn on a fucking manhole cover. 539 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:39,139 You've got love handles like my missus and she's six months pregnant! 540 00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:42,699 Alright, Nello, got a fucking brew on, or what? 541 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,619 Sorry about that, Mrs Baldwin. 542 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,020 Where were we? 543 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:51,899 You were telling me why you've given my Neil a job. 544 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,859 Well, he's... he's genuine. 545 00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,420 He doesn't have an angle. 546 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:03,220 And you go a long way in this game to find a bloke without an angle. 547 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,300 And the fact that... 548 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,980 well, that he isn't perhaps as quick on the uptake... 549 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:10,540 Quick on the uptake? 550 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,140 We're talking about footballers here, Mrs Baldwin. 551 00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,619 It's not exactly University Challenge out there. 552 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,180 Even so, I had thought... 553 00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:19,740 Well... 554 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:24,059 I won't be around forever, and I have to be sure he'll be alright. 555 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,020 Of course. 556 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,900 What mother wouldn't want that? 557 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,820 I had put his name down for a monastery, for when I'm not here, to keep an eye. 558 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,100 He seemed to like it there. 559 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,660 A monastery? 560 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,020 Neil? 561 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,980 Your son belongs in a changing room, Mrs Baldwin. 562 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:43,019 He loves it here. And we love him. 563 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:47,979 God, he gives us all a lift. And he's... indispensable. 564 00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,140 - Paddy. - Yes, boss. 565 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:53,020 You'll do for me, young man. 566 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,340 Thanks, boss. 567 00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,380 - Laino. - Yes, boss. 568 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,060 Just play. 569 00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,540 How should I play, boss? 570 00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:00,700 Play well. 571 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,380 And as for you, Thumper. 572 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:04,940 Bomber, boss. 573 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,699 I think you'll find Thumper's the name of the rabbit in Bambi. 574 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:10,500 I'm the boss. 575 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:15,100 If I call you Thumper, your name's Thumper. 576 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,500 Right, boss. 577 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,580 Let's just play the game right. 578 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,380 And the main thing is this 579 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,659 this is what you've got to get into your noggins. 580 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:34,779 The main thing is: go out there and score more goals than the other team. 581 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,340 Thanks, Nello. 582 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,819 Was that supposed to be me, aye? 583 00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:44,620 Brian Clough, boss. 584 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,299 Oh right. Cloughy. 585 00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:13,140 Lou says I should give the team talk every week. 586 00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:15,460 3 - 0, not surprised! 587 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,220 There might be a problem this week. 588 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,940 It's the boat race. I never miss the boat race. 589 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,620 Can't you tape it? 590 00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:23,500 I don't watch it on the telly. 591 00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,259 I'm on the river. 592 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,860 You might need to lose some weight if you're coxing. 593 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,700 I'm not in the crews. 594 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,620 I'm on the launch behind with the umpire and that. 595 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:34,180 Hi, Neil. 596 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,100 Hiya, Molly. 597 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,379 How'd you wangle that? 598 00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:40,540 I just asked. 599 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,460 You can't just get things by asking. 600 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,139 Can't you? 601 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,820 I can. 602 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,740 Great win Saturday, Nello! 603 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,019 Up the Potters, Farouq! 604 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,340 Why would they let you on the umpire's launch? 605 00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:28,979 Tradition. 606 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:37,260 Hey, Nello. How long are you going to be with those fucking pads? 607 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,260 Sort your own pads out. 608 00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,300 Yes, Nello! Get in there! 609 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:44,380 You tell him, lad! You have him! 610 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:45,620 You flash bastard! 611 00:45:45,720 --> 00:45:48,020 Did you put your wife's knickers on by mistake this morning 612 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,100 or is there something you want to tell us? 613 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,139 These are pure silk boxer shorts, these, boss. 614 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,420 Kendall Mills, Deansgate. 615 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,580 If you're spending that much on underpants I'm paying you too much. 616 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,060 Valuable cargo. 617 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,699 Can't keep the crown jewels in a cornflakes box. 618 00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:09,019 Hey, how much do you spend on your underpants, Nello? 619 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:10,540 Nothing. 620 00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,540 My mum buys them for me. 621 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:13,500 Very wise. 622 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,419 Might be because you're protecting as little as possible, mate. 623 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:24,380 Well. 624 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,500 They weren't very nice to you. 625 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,779 There's always banter. 626 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:37,620 Nello. Nello! 627 00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:38,899 Yes, boss? 628 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,779 Have you put on weight? 629 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:43,580 A bit. 630 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,340 Your mother will kill me. 631 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,899 I promised her I'd help you lose weight. 632 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,180 Hey, come on! Laino, I told you! 633 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,659 First touch! First touch! 634 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,900 Where the fuck are my boxer shorts? 635 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,340 Which one of you bastards has had them? 636 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,740 Sixty fucking quid's worth. That must be a blow. 637 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:07,220 Hang on! 638 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:09,940 My pants have gone too. What the fuck! 639 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,620 Some thieving YTS lad has definitely had them off. Million percent. 640 00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,900 Yeah, that'll be it, yeah. 641 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:20,340 Those YTS boys, they'll steal anything that isn't nailed down. 642 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,139 Who asked you? 643 00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,099 No. No, Nello, you haven't? 644 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,859 Yours are on the bottom, and they're a waste of money. 645 00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,100 They're chafing right up my undercarriage. 646 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:37,699 Oh fuck! 647 00:47:39,720 --> 00:47:44,619 My, my, my, Delilah! 648 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:50,220 Why, why, why, Delilah? 649 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:55,820 So before they come to break down the door 650 00:47:55,920 --> 00:48:00,499 forgive me Delilah, I just couldn't take any more. 651 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:08,259 So before they come to break down the door 652 00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:15,419 forgive me Delilah, I just couldn't take any more. 653 00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:39,219 Mum? 654 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,420 - Her eyes aren't what they were. - Mary, can you watch this light for me? 655 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,179 She has bifocals. 656 00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:47,620 Do you know where you are? 657 00:48:47,720 --> 00:48:50,180 I don't think either of them are right. 658 00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:51,779 Do you know where you are? 659 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,340 - My dad died here. - Hold my hand, Mrs Baldwin. 660 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,140 - When he was young. - Can you grip it tight? 661 00:48:57,240 --> 00:48:58,900 And I was young too. 662 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,680 - That's good. - I did very well. 663 00:49:01,781 --> 00:49:03,619 And the other hand, can you do that one too? 664 00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:06,460 She has bifocals. 665 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,580 She's very healthy. I'm not so healthy. 666 00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,860 She eats salad. I eat chips. 667 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,540 She's always telling me. 668 00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:15,260 We're going to get a consultant down to look at her. 669 00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:18,020 I'd rather it was a doctor. 670 00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:19,940 He's better than a doctor. 671 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:23,260 When will I take her home? I have to call a taxi. 672 00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:26,860 She won't be going home tonight, I'm afraid. She really is very poorly right now. 673 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,660 She is, isn't she? 674 00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,780 I think we need to get that consultant right away. 675 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,300 Yes, he's busy, but he'll be right down as soon as possible. 676 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,019 Is it Mr Saeed? 677 00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:39,260 Yes, as a matter of fact. Why, do you know him? 678 00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:41,540 He's a very good friend of mine. 679 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:42,820 Neil. 680 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,940 How are you? Everything ok? 681 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:46,340 Very well, thank you. 682 00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,060 Are we going to beat Portsmouth on Saturday? 683 00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,700 If Laino's fit, we can beat anyone. 684 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,660 I love your attitude. This man is a force for good. 685 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,020 Has my registrar been looking after you? 686 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:56,859 He's very young. 687 00:49:58,040 --> 00:49:59,980 My mum has had an episode. 688 00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:01,340 Ok. 689 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,420 Ok, well, let's see what we can do, shall we? 690 00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,180 Have you ordered a CT scan? 691 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,979 Bloods? BP? Come on, what's been keeping you? 692 00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:10,659 Ok. 693 00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,579 Let's go and have a look at her, shall we? 694 00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,019 Third somersault... short. 695 00:50:21,119 --> 00:50:23,963 That's the boner that cost me the triple. Not big, but fatal. 696 00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:26,731 That's why we're gonna start from the beginning and make each move perfect 697 00:50:26,831 --> 00:50:30,063 before we go onto the next. I'll run it again for you. 698 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,860 Ey up, Nello! How's it going? 699 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,260 Shocking. 700 00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,180 Is Laino going to be fit for Saturday? 701 00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,060 Course he is, yeah. 702 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,139 Don't worry about that. 703 00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:58,139 Thanks. 704 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,580 Now Neil, your mum has had a heart attack. 705 00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,540 And that is why the oxygen isn't getting to her brain. 706 00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,899 And that is why she's confused. 707 00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,979 A heart attack. Yes. 708 00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,459 So you are going to have to be strong for your mum now because she needs you to be. 709 00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:23,940 I'll pray for her. 710 00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:25,939 That'd be a good idea. 711 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:28,540 And I'll visit. 712 00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:29,980 Also good. 713 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,260 I'll get the Christadelphians to pray for her too. 714 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:34,580 Excellent idea. 715 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,619 And you. At the temple. 716 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,140 More the merrier. That's what I say. 717 00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:41,739 Very wise. 718 00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:45,420 Have her home in no time? 719 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:49,259 Well, there is a possibility, Neil, that she might not be able to come home. 720 00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,099 Her health hasn't been very good for a while now, as you know. 721 00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:57,900 Social Services think they may have to find her somewhere where she can live 722 00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,059 and be looked after. 723 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,819 - Do you understand? - I do. Yes. 724 00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,939 Have her home in no time? 725 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,539 Morning, boss. 726 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,380 You take as much time off as you need, Neil. 727 00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:29,660 Alright? 728 00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,100 There's nothing more important than your mother's health. 729 00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:36,299 I don't need to take any time off. She's going to get better. 730 00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:41,779 How do you do it, Nello? 731 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,939 How do you stay so positive? 732 00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:51,379 I've always wanted to be happy so I decided to be. 733 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:54,579 Brilliant. 734 00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,059 I'm going to write some of this stuff down! 735 00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:02,499 If bad things happen, you think about good things. 736 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,059 Like what? 737 00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:07,100 Like... 738 00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:09,019 Best signing you ever made. 739 00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:14,939 I wouldn't know where to start. 740 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,619 With the shorts. 741 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,380 The cleaner the shorts the better the player. 742 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,379 It means they've stayed on their feet longer. 743 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:32,819 Well, if you don't mind me saying, that's very much a kit man's point of view. 744 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,699 Cloughy thought it too. 745 00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,979 Oh, so now I'm arguing with you and Cloughy, am I? 746 00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:00,339 I'm assuming the budgie's not part of the food shop, son. 747 00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:02,340 It's for me. 748 00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:05,139 The man at the pet shop gave me a discount. 749 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,779 I've got your shopping. 750 00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:14,059 Did you not take a list, Neil? I gave you a list. 751 00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,420 I did it from memory. 752 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,219 Oh. Whose memory's this? 753 00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,620 Not mine, that's for certain. 754 00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:23,380 I've never eaten any of this stuff in my life! 755 00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,860 What did you pay for all this? 756 00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:27,940 Wasn't Doris on? 757 00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,500 - I've got it here somewhere. - It doesn't matter really. 758 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,660 Just take the list next time, will you? 759 00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,699 I'll write you a new one. 760 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,299 Fetch me the writing pad. 761 00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:44,099 I've been keeping my flat clean as well. 762 00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:46,659 Good. 763 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:49,660 What about you? 764 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:51,380 When did you last have a shave? 765 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,500 I'm going to call him Macari. 766 00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:54,700 Who? 767 00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:56,259 My budgie. 768 00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,099 I'm going to call him Macari, after Lou Macari. 769 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,459 Right. 770 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:06,099 Everything has to start and end with love. 771 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:11,019 It's a simple message, but one that we can forget all too easily. 772 00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,699 Now, as it says in Corinthians: 1 773 00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:20,299 'If I speak in the tongues of mortals and angels but do not have love' 774 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,339 'I am a noisy gong or clashing cymbal.' 775 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:30,619 Now I think we've all encountered one or two noisy gongs in our lives. 776 00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,220 You are looking after yourself, aren't you, Neil? 777 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,459 Yes, I am. 778 00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:49,179 I always have. 779 00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,340 Well, with your mum in the home and so on 780 00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:57,579 I can't help noticing... well... 781 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:02,180 I think you need to maybe take extra care of yourself. 782 00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,059 So your mum doesn't worry too much about you. 783 00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,300 I've got the Lord. 784 00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,139 You have indeed. 785 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,140 I've got the students. 786 00:56:12,240 --> 00:56:13,020 Yes. 787 00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:17,179 I've got Stoke City and I've got my mum. 788 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:24,979 What I want you to think about, Neil 789 00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:27,140 is what you would do 790 00:56:27,240 --> 00:56:29,379 if one of them wasn't there. 791 00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:37,299 Well, I'd probably have the time to join the choir, for a start. 792 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,219 Right. 793 00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,020 Right! 794 00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,419 Are you feeling better for our little chat, Mark? 795 00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:49,379 Yes. 796 00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,299 Thank you, Neil. 797 00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,900 ...Police would like to talk to anyone 798 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:02,420 who was in the area in the early hours of Sunday morning. 799 00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,500 More on that breaking story now. 800 00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,740 We go over to the Victoria ground 801 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:10,860 where Lou Macari has resigned as Stoke City manager 802 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,740 to take up the vacant post at Glasgow Celtic. 803 00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:18,779 The club have said they have already begun their search for a first-class successor. 804 00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:21,980 I've no comments to make right now. 805 00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,820 But... there'll be a press conference later on. 806 00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,939 So you can check that out, see how we go. Alright? 807 00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:30,580 During his time at the club 808 00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:34,619 Macari took the Potters to the play-offs, automatic promotion... 809 00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:49,019 Nello. 810 00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:54,659 When Celtic come calling, a Glasgow boy like me has to say yes. 811 00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:57,499 I know that, yes. 812 00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:03,219 And whoever takes over here, I bet they'll find you as valuable as I did. 813 00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:06,580 Do you want me to come? To Celtic? 814 00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:08,340 Oh, I'd love you to. 815 00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,779 But I think you're Stoke, through and through. 816 00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,860 And I think the Rangers fans might eat you alive. 817 00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:17,059 You're right. I'll stay put. 818 00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:20,019 With my mum in the home and that. 819 00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,299 She depends on me for shopping. 820 00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:24,939 Exactly. 821 00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:27,300 So no hard feelings then? 822 00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,139 No hard feelings. 823 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:33,220 Are you staying on for Tommo's testimonial? 824 00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:36,539 Oh, I can do better than that. I'm putting you on the bench. 825 00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:39,780 I'm always on the bench. 826 00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,179 Well, that isn't what I mean. 827 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,219 Come with me. 828 00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,979 Midfielder or striker? 829 00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,980 Oh, er, I haven't thought about that yet. 830 00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:02,860 I'm not as quick as I was. 831 00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:04,540 Oh, I daresay. 832 00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:08,340 But the first two yards are in the head, boss? 833 00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:09,339 Exactly. 834 00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:13,339 Don't be late, Baldwin. 835 00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:16,579 No, boss. 836 00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:18,939 I'll be there. 837 00:59:59,920 --> 01:00:01,419 Hiya, Mum. 838 01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,340 I see you've had a shave. That's something. 839 01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:07,460 Aye. 840 01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,100 I've done all your errands and all. 841 01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:11,380 Have you now? 842 01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,700 Can't have everything, I suppose. 843 01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:15,340 Skimmed milk. 844 01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:17,500 Because it's good for your faulty ticker. 845 01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:19,020 Rice pudding. 846 01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:20,020 Bananas. 847 01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:24,140 The apples are tough on your dentures at this time of year. 848 01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,420 And a packet of Immodium for your... 849 01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:29,139 My indigestion, thank you. 850 01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:31,579 Well, well, well. 851 01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,419 You could do it after all. 852 01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:38,739 I met Ken Dodd again last week. 853 01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:41,779 He's a very good friend of mine. 854 01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:49,779 The woman that runs it, this place, like 855 01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:54,980 she wants me to come in as Nello the clown tomorrow. So I will. 856 01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:57,620 That'll cheer everyone up. 857 01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:03,220 I asked her if I could bring you a canary and she said certainly. 858 01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:05,460 I'll fetch you one in. 859 01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:07,579 You're a good lad, Neil. 860 01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:13,419 You know that business where you wanted to be a vicar? 861 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,820 That's all water under the bridge now, mum. 862 01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:20,660 I didn't want to be bothered with doing a degree and what have you. 863 01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:22,460 I know, son, but... 864 01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:26,260 I didn't want you thinking that I didn't think you could do anything you wanted. 865 01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:28,139 Anything at all. 866 01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,499 I'm playing for Stoke City tonight. 867 01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:46,979 Come on, Mum. It's only a testimonial. 868 01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:53,860 Don't go just yet. 869 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:55,940 No, I won't. 870 01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,859 Stay and hold my hand a while? 871 01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:00,739 Course. 872 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,420 They used to call me Holy Mary, you know. 873 01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:16,059 I know, Mum. I know. 874 01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:20,779 I'm very proud of you. 875 01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:52,019 Nello. Go and warm up. 876 01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:12,779 Nello! Nello! Nello! 877 01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:35,539 Paddy, get over here! 878 01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:38,340 I'm going to bring Nello on, right? 879 01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:41,179 When he gets in the penalty area, everybody get out. 880 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:43,060 Let him score, ok? 881 01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,740 Now, tell our lads, and tell the Villa lads too. 882 01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,100 Alright, boss. 883 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,699 Nello, get over here. You're going on. 884 01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:55,500 Now, just hang about in the penalty area, alright? 885 01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:57,700 And cause them problems. 886 01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,740 How do I do that? 887 01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:03,140 Well you're causing me a problem just looking at you so it shouldn't be too hard. 888 01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:03,940 Ok, boss. 889 01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:07,020 Anything comes near you, you hit it. Alright? 890 01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:09,020 Right-o, like a brick out-house? 891 01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:11,660 No, no, I mean the ball, not the other players. 892 01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:12,700 Alright. 893 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:13,859 Hey. 894 01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:16,860 Score one for your mum, Nello. 895 01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:17,620 Ok? 896 01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:19,739 Ok, yeah. She'll like that. 897 01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,500 Good luck, Nello! 898 01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:23,060 Well played, Thumper. 899 01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:26,659 It's Bomber. Like a plane or something. Not Thumper! 900 01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:41,540 This really happened, by the way. 901 01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:42,540 Did it? 902 01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:45,259 Yeah it actually did. How could I let the fans down? 903 01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:50,900 Did it really happen like that? 904 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:52,779 No. 905 01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:57,900 Come on, Nello. Cheer up, mate. 906 01:05:58,000 --> 01:05:59,580 It's only a fucking testimonial. 907 01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:03,139 I think it must have hit a bobble before I hit it. 908 01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:40,179 Sorry I let you down, boss. 909 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,139 What? 910 01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:44,820 - When did you let me down? - Tonight. 911 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:47,420 After I slipped my marker. 912 01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,620 I should've buried it. 913 01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:51,660 I don't think slipping your marker was the problem, Neil. 914 01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,499 I think maybe when you fell over. 915 01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:55,380 The first time? 916 01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:58,539 Well, to be honest, I don't think the second time helped either. 917 01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:01,540 I skived the shot a bit, didn't I? 918 01:07:01,640 --> 01:07:02,780 Aye, just a wee bit. 919 01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:04,980 I think the ball's still rising now. 920 01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:07,380 I think Jodrell Bank has just picked it up. 921 01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:09,699 Must've hit a bobble. 922 01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:12,180 Blinking groundsmen. 923 01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:13,700 Happens to the best of us. 924 01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:15,660 I wouldn't let it worry you. 925 01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:17,339 All the best, boss. 926 01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:20,459 It was you, by the way. 927 01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:23,299 What was? 928 01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:28,939 Remember when you asked me who the best signing I'd ever made was? 929 01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,179 It was you, mate. 930 01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:33,539 No contest. 931 01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:12,260 - Neil. - You hadn't forgotten, had you? 932 01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:15,540 I said I'd come as Nello, and I did. 933 01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,220 I bought a canary too. 934 01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:21,020 It's not part of the act, it's for my mum. 935 01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:24,179 Could you come into the office for a minute, duck? 936 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:35,299 It was very peaceful. 937 01:08:37,120 --> 01:08:38,540 Yes. 938 01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:40,740 She died in her sleep. 939 01:08:40,840 --> 01:08:43,379 And she died proud of you. 940 01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:47,499 We went in this morning and found her. 941 01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:51,739 This morning? 942 01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:53,859 That's right. 943 01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:56,539 I rang this morning. 944 01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,820 We wanted to tell you in person. 945 01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:02,219 We thought it was better that way. 946 01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:09,299 She didn't want me to leave. 947 01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:12,339 Last night. 948 01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:18,059 When I had to get my bus, she... she didn't want me to leave. 949 01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:43,499 - Morning. - Hiya. 950 01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:55,059 There aren't many mums who'd let their sons run off to join the circus. 951 01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:57,859 But my mum did. 952 01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:04,900 And she used to worry about my weight and she tried to give me salad. 953 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,540 But she meant well. 954 01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:10,700 And after my dad died 955 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:13,140 we were a team. 956 01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:15,100 Like Stoke City. 957 01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:16,980 We were a team. 958 01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:18,900 And she worried about me. 959 01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:22,220 And she didn't have to worry about me. 960 01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:25,019 But she did anyway. 961 01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:28,420 And she taught me good manners. 962 01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:32,219 And that it's good to be nice to people. 963 01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,859 And that's what I try to be. 964 01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:50,980 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. 965 01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:57,859 Thank you for coming. 966 01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:03,660 Anything you need, Neil, call me. 967 01:12:03,760 --> 01:12:06,260 I'm doing well, though, aren't I? 968 01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:08,340 You're doing very well, yes. 969 01:12:08,440 --> 01:12:11,779 I suppose I've got time for the choir now. 970 01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:13,740 Why not? 971 01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:15,300 You ok for a lift? 972 01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:17,299 You're coming with me, aren't you? 973 01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:18,860 Am I? 974 01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:20,860 Oh... right! 975 01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:23,619 Mary would have loved the service today. 976 01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:26,739 I'm doing well, though, aren't I? 977 01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:28,620 You are, Neil. 978 01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:30,219 You really are. 979 01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:43,020 ...in pastures green he leadeth me 980 01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:49,659 the quiet waters by. 981 01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:59,220 My soul he doth restore again 982 01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:06,099 and me to walk doth make 983 01:13:07,280 --> 01:13:14,980 within the paths of righteousness 984 01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:21,419 e'en for His own name's sake. 985 01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:31,020 E'en though I walk in death's dark vale 986 01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:36,379 there will I feel no ill 987 01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:42,139 for Thou art with me... 988 01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:44,979 How much did you say it was? 989 01:13:45,880 --> 01:13:47,899 £8.27. 990 01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:53,179 Is Doris not in? 991 01:13:54,240 --> 01:14:01,539 SINGING My table Thou has furnished 992 01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:08,939 in presence of my foes. 993 01:14:09,920 --> 01:14:17,420 My head Thou dost with oil anoint 994 01:14:17,520 --> 01:14:23,859 and my cup overflows. 995 01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:27,020 Neil! 996 01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:28,579 Neil. 997 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:31,979 - Are you going already? - Yes. 998 01:14:33,080 --> 01:14:36,580 - How are you coping? - I'm coping well, yes. 999 01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,179 I'm doing well, aren't I? 1000 01:15:17,400 --> 01:15:18,980 That's it. 1001 01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:20,699 In you go. 1002 01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:23,739 In you go. That's it. 1003 01:15:25,880 --> 01:15:27,539 Say hello. 1004 01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:30,540 Sorry. Excuse me. 1005 01:15:30,640 --> 01:15:32,459 Sorry. 1006 01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:57,700 How've you been keeping? 1007 01:15:57,800 --> 01:16:00,900 I'm doing well, everybody says. 1008 01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:03,179 I've brought you a bit of shopping. 1009 01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,219 Thanks. 1010 01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:09,340 I'm a bit worried about you, to be honest. 1011 01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:12,419 Haven't seen you at the match the last three home games. 1012 01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:14,900 I've been busy. 1013 01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:16,260 Right. 1014 01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:18,979 - Life goes on. - Right. 1015 01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:24,980 And I'm doing well. 1016 01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:26,939 So you keep saying. 1017 01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:33,179 How are the birds doing? 1018 01:16:33,880 --> 01:16:35,340 They're doing well, yeah. 1019 01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:37,459 Is that a new one? The white one? 1020 01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:39,820 It's a budgie from Zippo's. 1021 01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:41,780 Norman Barrett give it me. 1022 01:16:41,880 --> 01:16:45,700 It used to be part of his act but it's retired now. 1023 01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:49,899 Bloody hell, Neil. Even your budgies are celebrities. 1024 01:16:53,440 --> 01:16:55,780 Right. Freshers week starts on Monday. 1025 01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:59,260 You've got to get down there, snap up the good players for Neil Baldwin FC. 1026 01:16:59,360 --> 01:17:04,539 I don't know if I'll bother this time. My hip's been playing me up. 1027 01:17:05,080 --> 01:17:07,860 You know your mum would want you to get out there, don't you? 1028 01:17:07,960 --> 01:17:09,540 Doing what you're best at. 1029 01:17:09,640 --> 01:17:11,579 Meeting people and that. 1030 01:17:12,040 --> 01:17:14,380 She would. That's true. 1031 01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,220 No time like the present. 1032 01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:18,859 I don't know about that. 1033 01:17:21,920 --> 01:17:24,539 I've heard the Union are doing 2-for-1 hot dogs... 1034 01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:30,539 Does that include onions? 1035 01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:33,859 I should imagine so, yeah. 1036 01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:37,180 Neil! 1037 01:18:37,280 --> 01:18:39,020 What are you doing here, this time of night? 1038 01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:40,659 Waiting for my lift. 1039 01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:42,779 Looks like they forgot. 1040 01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:44,939 Come on. 1041 01:18:58,040 --> 01:19:00,300 You shouldn't be hanging around on your own at this time of night. 1042 01:19:00,400 --> 01:19:03,700 I wasn't hanging around, I was waiting for a lift. 1043 01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:05,420 Which didn't come! 1044 01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:07,539 No, but you did. 1045 01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:11,099 What would you have done if I hadn't turned up? 1046 01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:13,780 You did turn up, though, didn't you? 1047 01:19:13,880 --> 01:19:15,779 I know. But what if I hadn't? 1048 01:19:16,760 --> 01:19:18,979 Somebody would've turned up. 1049 01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:22,860 You can't go through life relying on something just turning up. 1050 01:19:22,960 --> 01:19:23,900 Yes you can. 1051 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,099 Well, I can, anyway. 1052 01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:33,740 Hiya, Gary? 1053 01:19:33,840 --> 01:19:37,980 You don't actually know me, but I'm calling on behalf of Neil Baldwin. 1054 01:19:38,080 --> 01:19:39,180 He's a very good friend of mine 1055 01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:42,140 and I just wondered if you'd be kind enough to do us a huge favour... 1056 01:19:42,240 --> 01:19:43,500 When do we play? 1057 01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:46,740 Training every Sunday, matches Wednesday afternoon. 1058 01:19:46,840 --> 01:19:48,380 Right. Well, I play central midfield. 1059 01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:50,940 Oh, you play where I tell you to play. 1060 01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:52,900 I had trials for Macclesfield Town. 1061 01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:57,059 The problem is, son, I play central midfield. 1062 01:19:58,240 --> 01:20:00,099 This is a wind-up, right? 1063 01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:02,380 I'm just the club president, son. 1064 01:20:02,480 --> 01:20:04,300 It's the gaffer who makes the decisions. 1065 01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:05,020 See. 1066 01:20:05,120 --> 01:20:06,299 Right. 1067 01:20:09,160 --> 01:20:10,420 Thanks a lot. 1068 01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:12,459 - Yeah, thanks. - See you at the weekend. 1069 01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:19,540 You, young man. 1070 01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:20,940 This is a ball. 1071 01:20:21,040 --> 01:20:26,180 All you've got to do is stick that in the back of the net. It's that simple. 1072 01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:27,300 Neil. 1073 01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:28,820 We're only playing the Christian Union. 1074 01:20:28,920 --> 01:20:30,060 That's part of the problem. 1075 01:20:30,160 --> 01:20:32,739 They've got the Lord on their side. 1076 01:20:33,160 --> 01:20:34,739 You going to finish that pasty? 1077 01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,460 Fitness problem, you have. 1078 01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:41,779 I'm going to come on in the second half. 1079 01:20:43,800 --> 01:20:46,899 And play centre midfield. 1080 01:20:47,240 --> 01:20:49,500 I played for Stoke City. 1081 01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:51,100 Let's never forget that. 1082 01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:52,740 No, I don't suppose anybody ever will. 1083 01:20:52,840 --> 01:20:54,340 I thought you said you'd got a ref. 1084 01:20:54,440 --> 01:20:55,820 He'll be here. 1085 01:20:55,920 --> 01:20:58,739 Oh, it's not that lad from Islamic Soc, is it? 1086 01:20:59,360 --> 01:21:01,700 It looks like a strong wind would blow that guy over. 1087 01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:03,580 Premiership quality this time. 1088 01:21:03,680 --> 01:21:04,820 Oh, right, premiership? 1089 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:06,179 Hi, Neil! 1090 01:21:06,440 --> 01:21:07,580 Uriah! 1091 01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:09,620 - How are you? - Alright, Uriah. 1092 01:21:09,720 --> 01:21:11,300 Good to see you. 1093 01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:14,021 This is Uriah Rennie, everyone. Uriah Rennie. 1094 01:21:14,121 --> 01:21:15,380 - Hi. - Alright, mate? 1095 01:21:15,480 --> 01:21:17,460 - Alright, Uriah? - I'm good, mate. How are you? 1096 01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:19,139 Good to see you. 1097 01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:21,300 It's Uriah Rennie. 1098 01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:28,060 Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. 1099 01:21:28,160 --> 01:21:34,859 Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink. 1100 01:21:35,240 --> 01:21:41,179 The years go by as quickly as a wink. 1101 01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:47,939 Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think! 1102 01:21:49,080 --> 01:21:54,779 You worry when the weather's cold, you worry when it's hot. 1103 01:21:55,720 --> 01:22:02,099 You worry when you're doing well, you worry when you're not. 1104 01:22:02,320 --> 01:22:08,579 It's worry, worry, all the time, you don't know how to laugh! 1105 01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:15,299 You'll think of something funny when they write your epitaph. 1106 01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:20,899 Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think... 1107 01:22:21,640 --> 01:22:24,019 - Take it again, you're off your line. - What? There is no line! 1108 01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:27,019 Right, I'm booking it for this end. 1109 01:22:29,400 --> 01:22:35,739 ...The years go by as quickly as a wink. 1110 01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:42,339 Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think! 1111 01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:55,940 Good one-two... And a good shot! What a goal! 1112 01:22:56,040 --> 01:22:57,459 What a goal! 1113 01:23:09,520 --> 01:23:12,259 Nello! Nello! Nello! 1114 01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:27,739 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. 1115 01:23:28,360 --> 01:23:30,860 Taking the five loaves and the two fish 1116 01:23:30,960 --> 01:23:34,219 he looked up to heaven and blessed... 1117 01:23:34,360 --> 01:23:39,139 and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples. 1118 01:23:40,640 --> 01:23:43,339 And the disciples gave them to the crowds. 1119 01:23:43,760 --> 01:23:46,619 And all ate and were filled. 1120 01:23:47,560 --> 01:23:51,259 One of my favourites, feeding of the five thousand. 1121 01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:53,819 Now, why doesn't that surprise me, Neil? 1122 01:23:55,040 --> 01:23:58,539 Never trust a man who doesn't like his food. 1123 01:24:00,280 --> 01:24:02,100 I'm glad you enjoyed the sermon. 1124 01:24:02,200 --> 01:24:05,019 I always enjoyed your sermons. 1125 01:24:05,240 --> 01:24:08,099 That's why I told you you'd make Bishop one day. 1126 01:24:08,920 --> 01:24:12,580 It was like the first time I saw Mark Stein. 1127 01:24:12,680 --> 01:24:14,660 I knew he was special too. 1128 01:24:14,760 --> 01:24:15,780 Mark Stein? 1129 01:24:15,880 --> 01:24:18,899 33 goals in 57 matches. 1130 01:24:20,720 --> 01:24:22,619 I made you a card. 1131 01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:29,460 To say well done, like. 1132 01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:31,259 Thank you, Neil. 1133 01:24:34,520 --> 01:24:35,899 Thank you. 1134 01:24:36,920 --> 01:24:38,419 That means a lot. 1135 01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:41,979 And I've got a cockatoo. 1136 01:24:42,400 --> 01:24:44,940 Oh, no presents. I insist. 1137 01:24:45,040 --> 01:24:46,419 - The card is more than enough. - No, no, no. 1138 01:24:47,280 --> 01:24:49,860 The cockatoo is for me. 1139 01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:52,620 Fossett's Circus give it me. 1140 01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:57,219 It's got something wrong with its foot so it's not cut out for show business. 1141 01:24:58,240 --> 01:25:01,539 It lands on my head every night, without fail. 1142 01:25:03,480 --> 01:25:07,500 He said he give it me because he knew I'd look after it, and I will. 1143 01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:09,100 I'm sure you will. 1144 01:25:09,200 --> 01:25:12,059 Your mum always said you had a real knack for looking after animals. 1145 01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:16,939 She was proud of me, you know. My mum. 1146 01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:19,339 She was, Neil. 1147 01:25:20,920 --> 01:25:22,699 She was indeed. 1148 01:25:29,880 --> 01:25:32,220 Can you drop me off on the way? 1149 01:25:32,320 --> 01:25:33,780 Well, it's not really on my way. 1150 01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:36,380 It is if you go that way to drop me off. 1151 01:25:36,480 --> 01:25:38,939 Yes, of course, of course. 1152 01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:50,059 Can we stop off at the Co-op? I've got a spot of shopping to do. 1153 01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:53,059 Why not? 1154 01:25:53,280 --> 01:25:54,779 Why not. 1155 01:25:57,440 --> 01:26:00,299 One Neil Baldwin! 1156 01:26:01,160 --> 01:26:03,979 There's only one Neil Baldwin! 1157 01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:08,819 One Neil Baldwin! etc. 1158 01:27:06,400 --> 01:27:08,999 ...One Neil Baldwin! 1159 01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:11,499 There's only one Neil Baldwin! 84691

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.