All language subtitles for Leverage.S03E12.HDTV-FQM.eng

Season 3 Episode 12
The King George Job

Your attention, please.

All international arrivals must pick up
their luggage before proceeding...

It's taken us four months
to get even this close

to one of Damien Moreau's guys.

Now we have a chance to hit him
and get closer to Moreau.

Hardison, take us through it.

Flight manifest for
global transit airlines 485

out of Baghdad shows John Douglas Keller
in business class.

Now, Keller... he moves antiquities
for our primary target, Damien Moreau.

It shows he has no checked luggage,

just probably a carry-on.
You know what, guys?

I don't get this. It'd be a lot easier
to intercept him out in the terminal.

No, if this guy is as strapped
as I think he is,

he's gonna have a gang of security
waiting outside the airport for him,

one bodyguard on the plane.
You want to get close to him,

you do it in here.

Sounds good.

Parker?

While Eliot distracts the bodyguard,
I'll lift Keller's wallet

and phone and do a briefcase switch.

- Hardison intercepted an e-mail.
- And decrypted it.

These guys use a variant
of Larry Duberman's algorithm.

- It's not as easy as baking a cake.
- Moving on, yes.

So, Keller has something valuable
on this flight,

probably Iraqi antiquities.

Now, if we get him from all sides,

one of us can grab the goods,
and then I'll put our hooks into him.

There he is.

I've got him.

That's the bodyguard.
I'm going in.

- This way, Mr. Keller.
- He's got a black briefcase,

- silver hardware.
- Silver hardware?

I'm on it.

We're right on schedule, Mr. Keller.

He hasn't talked to anyone.
He hasn't exchanged his bag with anyone.

So whatever
he's smuggling is probably

in cargo and probably under
a different name.

All right, I'm out.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Sorry for the delay, sir.
We've had a yellow alert issued.

- No trouble at all.
- Mr. Keller.

- What your reasons for visiting Boston?
- Business, I'm afraid.

Just a quick dinner meeting.
Then I'm off home to London.

Can't see much of Boston
in three hours?

No, more's the pity.

- Anything to declare?
- No, nothing at all.

No time for shopping,
not even duty-free.

Security to customs. Code 4.

Guys, we have a problem.

- They're arresting the wrong smuggler.
- May I...

I'd hate to miss my appointment.

You're clean.

Good to go.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Where are they taking the girl?
I represent her. I have papers

from the consulate.
She has refugee status. Please!

- They have to talk to her first!
- Did the,

- other girls make it?
- Yes.

10 flights over the course
of the day.

9 out of 10.

She's an acceptable loss.

Hardison, Eliot,
I want you to tail Keller discreetly.

No contact.
Surveillance only.

Parker, if you get an opening,
I want you to lift Keller's cellphone

- and clone it. Nothing else.
- I need access to that girl.

- No, it's too risky.
- What? Hardison has TSA badges.

- For this gate only.
- They just played us.

- No, I'm going in.
- No, you're not.

We can't have access
to one of those holding areas.

It's deep security.
We can talk to the family. It's a start.

Let's get this little girl home.

The rich and powerful
take what they want.

We steal it back for you.

Sometimes, bad guys
make the best good guys.

We provide leverage!

So, you're an immigration advocate?

I have spent the past six years

trying to reunite war torn families.

I meet people off the plane
and hope the smugglers

and drug dealers
haven't gotten to them first.

But she's innocent.

There must be something you can do.

I can file paperwork.
That is all I can do.

She's sitting alone
in a holding cell,

and I don't know
what to tell her family.

She could be kept in the system
for months without being processed.

The laws haven't caught up
with this type of crime yet.

I deal with a lot of children
seeking asylum.

These tactics are not uncommon.

A man with a gun forces a statue
or a necklace into a kid's bag

and says: "Take this onto the plane
or I'll kill you."

And it usually works. The TSA is looking
for guns and weapons, not statuary.

But the artifacts more than pay
for drugs and weapons.

It's art for blood.

Well, we will do our best
to exonerate A'Yan, all right?

You just, keep filing the paperwork,
cross your T's, dot your I's,

- and we'll be in touch.
- Thank you.

Thank you both.

If I just take Keller out,
it there another way to Moreau?

Not a fast one.

Moreau got his start smuggling
antiquities from war zones.

Statute of limitations is way past
on those crimes.

No, that doesn't matter.
The more experienced a criminal becomes,

the more sophisticated
he gets at covering his tracks.

You go back to his first crimes,

that's where you see the rough edges.
It's sort of like...

Archaeology.
Archaeology of crime.

The further back you go
in a criminal's career,

the more primitive his methods,
the mistakes you can find as a way in...

a lot more mistakes.

Since Moreau started
with antiquities,

these companies and these bank accounts
are the closest ties to his real life.

Since he's moved up, Keller's started
running that part of the business.

And it's a cash cow. The valuables
from the looted Iraqi museum

or an archaeological dig, they fetch
millions on the west black market.

Yes, but unlike a stolen Monet
or the Rosalind diamond,

these pieces aren't registered
or insured,

so they're impossible to track.

I should've got into that years ago.

I mean before we went straight,

of course.

So, Keller steals a statue
from a dig in Iraq

and he mules it through customs
using a kid

and he sells it to rich Americans
for 5 million bucks.

That $5 million
funds terrorist training camps,

weapons sales.

The one thing that's got me stumped
is that little girl's arrest

didn't break Keller's stride at all.

He's already off
on a flight to London.

Apparently he's a regular
at Claridge's auction house.

Because you don't just sell
on the black market.

The real payoff, the big money,
is when you move it

through legitimate auction houses.

You fake up the papers,
you scrub off the blood and dirt,

and you clean it up so
all the pretty people can show it off

in their pretty bloody houses.

I'm sorry. Are you the only one
that's allowed to brood down here,

or is it an open bar?

I know what you're thinking,
but it's not the same thing.

Of course it's not. I stole from one
rich man to sell to another rich man.

- No one got hurt.
- That I know of.

How do I know that innocent children
were never used to shift my merchandise?

You want to talk
about collateral damage,

we'd be here all day.

"Tread lightly"?
I mean, who treads lightly?

Certainly not us.

This guy Keller is one
of Moreau's top lieutenants.

If we get emotionally overinvested
in this or any case, we get sloppy.

We get sloppy, we lose Keller, Moreau,
we lose the whole operation.

And the Italian sends you
back to prison, or worse.

With all at stake, you give me
a lecture on being overinvested?

I know I grifted from filthy-rich wankers
who hardly ever missed the money,

And half the time, they loved
the thrill of being taken for a ride.

But this...

this whole Moreau business
has got me thinking.

Keller steals from the rich, too,

and a little girl ends up
in detainment for it.

Do you want to go to London?

Let's go steal an auction.

I love Claridge's auction house.

Even the air feels more expensive.

So, this is where Keller
moves most of his goods.

And his calendar says that he should be
arriving here just about now.

Hardison,
are you in their computers yet?

Accessing.

Apparently their computer system
is also an antique.

Possibly steam-powered,
which would be cool.

This is an extremely old house.
They believe in tradition.

The computer records
are gonna be bare bones.

The real contracts
are gonna be paper files.

- So, that's not just for decoration?
- Just count to "K," Hardison.

I need a record
of everything he's sold here.

Or we could just ask
the man himself.

Parker, you're up.

Your coat, sir?

Heads up.
Here you go.

- What do you got, Parker?
- Nothing unusual,

but he does have
an auction card from Claridge's.

- Does it have an item number on it?
- 857204.

If the number starts with an 8,
then it's a bid card.

He's not selling today.

He's buying something. Why?

I'm not sure why.

But if this is his hub,

I'm gonna give him one more item
to move through it. Parker,

return the wallet.
Keep the bid card. Find the vault.

It should be filled with antiquities
waiting to be processed.

I need something to establish
my credentials with Keller.

Eliot, did they bring backup?

Keller showed up
with just his bodyguard.

Driver's waiting.
They won't be long.

Keep an eye on the front door.

Got it.

1905-style strong room.

Walls 2 feet thick.
Cast-iron.

Way ahead of its time.

But probably taken out with an acetylene
burner during the postwar crime waves.

Retrofitted hinges
and alarms in the 1980s...

The Thatcher security boom.

But English damp...

Won't allow for heat
sensors to work.

I almost feel bad for you.

I looked up the number
on the bid card.

And get this...

Keller bought a ring.

A Mason ring or an engagement ring?

A signet ring belonging to George,
the prince regent.

Doesn't make any sense.

Considering the priceless antiquities
that Keller handles on a daily basis,

this little trinket
isn't worth very much.

Maybe he's buying it for a client.

But there'd be no need to shift
something like this on the black market

When it's right here in the open.

He wants this for himself.
I just have to figure out why.

- Parker, what do you got for me?
- This place is great!

I recognize over half of this stuff.

Hello. Last time I saw you
was at the Louvre.

Actually you were in my car,
but before that you were at the Louvre.

Parker, focus!

We've got napoleonic silver...

Some great Russian icons,
17th-century, and...

Statue, gold guy, uh, loincloth,

pharaoh beard,
and very rectangular feet.

Falcon head, dog head,
or human head?

Bird head.
And I think he's smirking at me.

Okay, perfect. Statue of Ra.
Bring it to me.

You mean something.

You're not worth anything,
so you mean something.

Hardison,
did you find those files yet?

Now, look, when we get a moment,

Y'all are gonna have to explain
this English filing system.

Now, as far as Keller goes,

there's a big file and a small file.

Big file is all sales...

antiquities, mostly from
Iraq and Afghanistan,

all with fake provenance.

What's in the small file?

Small one is

land purchases...

Old manor houses up for auction, all
within the last two years,

all in Scotland.

Places like...

Loch Glengorra...

And loch McGr...

I'm not even gonna try to pronounce it.
It's just a bunch of random g's and n's.

Scotland?

Thanks, Hardison.
You can get out of there.

Okay, I'm gonna go in.
You want to play a little Nick and Nora?

I'm gonna stay on the outside for a bit.
There's something about this Keller guy,

that's vexing me.

Listen, Sophie, you never intentionally
put an innocent person in danger.

Just don't let him
put you in danger.

Good hunting.

Make sure we've got
a cutout for the Spanish deal,

- and call our man in San Lorenzo and...
- Mr. Keller.

Yes, I believe you dropped this.

- Thank you, mister...
- Jensen... Tom Jensen.

An American.
Are you with Claridge's?

In a way. I have participated in
some of their New York auctions,

Participated how?

I'm a broker of merchandise...
antiques mostly. For private collectors.

I like to let them know when
something, you know,

of interest, becomes discovered.

Smuggling is a crime,
Mr. Tom Jensen.

No, I find the goods.
I don't move them.

No, I heard
that was your specialty, actually.

- Interesting.
- This, yeah.

Statue of Ra?
You buy that on the Portobello road?

I have an archaeologist on payroll.

That came from a dig in Egypt.

We have four crates of really high-end,
amazing antiquities,

In fact, I have to find a way
to get them back to my buyer in America

and I heard that you are
the right person for that kind of job.

How does it smell?

He smelled it? Oh.

No, that's not from Egypt.

See this here?

No, I'd say this is from
the Bellingham collection

which is slated for auction
in two weeks,

which means you are
either a con artist or a cop.

I'm just trying to make a deal here.

I'm on my way.

Eliot, stay where you are.

- What?
- What?

I said, who are you working for?

Eliot, you go in now,
you'll blow the con.

- The con's already blown.
- The old one is. Not my con.

The ring, Scottish manors...

I know Mr. Keller's heart's desire.

I beg your pardon,

but you're manhandling my employee.

- Kindly call off your dog, Mr. Keller.
- Ennis, that's enough.

You know my name.

I can't say
I've had the same pleasure.

Charlotte Prentice,
18th duchess of Hanover.

Your grace.

What happened?
He try the Egypt story?

This statue comes from
a private collection.

I meet a great deal of people
in my travels who wish to

have such collections liquidated,
quickly and quietly.

The buyer I have lined up for this
particular piece is in America,

and I have no one I can
trust to traverse customs.

If your story checks out...
though, on principle,

I would never doubt
someone of your standing...

I will do you the courtesy of not
hunting down and killing your man here.

Thank you.

But I'm not taking on
any outside clients right now.

I'll double your commission.

I'm afraid the answer's still "no",
your grace.

Now, if you'll pardon me?

Perhaps I can provide you
with something else,

something worth more than money?

I'm afraid there's really no price.

A knighthood, perhaps.

A knighthood?

With all due respect, your grace,

her majesty hands out
2,600 of those a year.

Any pop star can have a knighthood.

I see.

Your aims are a little higher.

One of the lost baronies, then?

Sophie.

I do, but are you sure
this is a good idea?

One of the lost baronies?

Not possible.

There are about 10 people
in the world

who can secure an interview
with the Earl marshal,

and I happen to be closely
related to three of them.

If you help me with
my little venture,

then I'll help you
claim a lost barony...

My lord.

How?

Meet me at Porter's tomorrow.
Afternoon tea.

I look forward to it.

Let's leave our pets at home,
shall we?

Certainly.

Who's the duchess of Hanover?

And what's a lost barony?

- Can I keep the statue?
- We have a lot of work to do...

About 200 years' worth, actually.

All right, guys,
let's go steal a royal title.

The royal cover story is easy to check,
hard to fake.

I spent seven years
establishing this persona.

Trust me, Nate.
It's rock-solid.

- How'd you know he'd go for it?
- Keller's been buying up

small but specific
pieces of Scottish land.

That's one way to
obtain a minor barony.

He's also a royal fetishist.

I mean, there was no reason for him
to overbid on the prince regent ring.

It had to be emotional.

Plus, when I introduced myself,
he addressed me as "your grace",

rather than the more
common "my lady,"

and he gave a little bow
and kissed my hand.

And what was
the Earl marshal part about?

He controls the succession
of titles in the peerage.

This is key. There are 86 unclaimed
baronies in Great Britain.

It's just a title that no one holds.

- And does it come with a castle?
- Sometimes.

This is Keller's heart's desire,
I take it?

Checked into it, man.

He's applied for an audience
with the Earl marshal

six times in the past two years.

- Denied.
- Good guess.

It's not really a guess
when it's that good, is it?

The name of this con is
called "the mummy's tiara".

That can't be real.

Am I gonna have to steal
a corpse again?

It's real, all right,
and it's almost impossible to pull off

in a country
that has an actual monarchy.

So "the mummy's tiara"
involves using a forged relic

to purchase a royal title.

A forged relic.
That means we need a forger.

- I know a couple of guys in the States.
- No, Hardison.

Hardison, you're gonna do it.

I'm a hacker.
I hack. I don't forge.

You're not making a forgery.

You're gonna create a work of art.

Smell it.

That's how he knew that Nate was lying.
Go on.

Smell likes statue.

And gold.

And?

There's a little cinnamon on there.

And cardamom.

Those are the spices
that statue was packed

with as it lay in its tomb
for thousands of years.

But those spices were
only used in Libyan tombs,

not Egyptian ones.

Elliot, feel the base.

It's rough.
It's been sanded.

Markings from the acidic cleanser used
in the British museum in the 1800s.

That's how he knew
it wasn't a recent find.

- Can I taste it?
- You should. Go on.

Tastes like cold.

As you know, Parker,

most metals heat up
when they're held...

Platinum, for example...
But gold, no.

Gold stays cool
and impassive as a God.

If we're gonna fool
an expert of Keller's caliber,

then we're gonna have
to overwhelm his senses

with something too real to be fake.

Hardison, get busy.

There's your shopping list.
Don't skimp on supplies.

Use Eliot and Parker.
We're gonna go finish the deal

with Keller and get him to
transport our secret stash

of treasures back to the States.

What secret stash of treasures?
I'm sorry. Does this say "goat marrow"?

Let's go.

I'm about to revisit the topic
of Sophie being overinvested.

You want to run a passion-based game

- on a man who bankrolls terrorists?
- Exactly. End of the day, Nate,

you always go here,
whereas I go here.

But to a mark
who's always in his head.

The heart con's
the only one that works.

Heart con is dangerous.

If it flames out on you,
it's like igniting jet fuel.

Tell that to the little girl who's
sitting in an immigration holding cell.

Good luck.

Your grace.

Allow me.

That's quite a claim you made yesterday.
Can you back it up?

There are 86 lost,
or dormant, baronies.

The queen doesn't approve
of titles lying fallow.

Having said that, it's almost
impossible to claim one

without the proper documentation.

I've done some research
in that area myself.

- It's proven less than fruitful.
- Birth certificates, church records,

even whole family trees are
submitted for consideration.

But if you were to meet
the Earl marshal

with the private journal
of a royal ancestor,

even the queen herself
couldn't refuse you.

A private journal?

Belonging to?

The mistress of king George III.

That's a myth.

Isn't it?

As you know, George's reign ended
in abject failure...

loss of the colonies,
an incurable illness,

a dim-witted son poised
to take the throne.

The one thing he succeeded at
was protecting his mistress, Catherine.

In a moment of clarity in the
last throes of his disease,

he sent a pregnant Catherine
to America

with a trunkful of treasure.

And Catherine...

Kept a diary.

- That has never been proved.
- Of course.

Some say she became a commoner
in Massachusetts.

Some say she died at sea.

Some say she never left London
at all.

No one knows.

But a man who has her book

could claim a direct descent
to Catherine...

And the king of england.

Now...

That's got to be worth
a barony and a small fortune.

I got your turpentine.

I got your walnut oil, which I purchased
from a very stunning vegan chick,

so thank you for that.

And a bucket of soot.

It's everywhere.

Nice, E.

Way to get your hands dirty.

Thank you.

Put that down, man.
That's my paper.

It's a rag.

No, that's what printers used
to make paper back in the 1700s.

Use a moist towelette, please,
and thank you.

What's that smell?

You don't want to know
how they wet the paper back in the day.

Did you...

Do not ask me, man.

Damn it, Hardison!

- Why you so sensitive? You touch worse.
- I'm going out for Baba Ghanoush!

- Do you have the book?
- The book's coming up for auction

at Claridge's as part of a small
lot of 18th-century volumes.

Even the auctioneer himself
doesn't know its true value.

I was just gonna pick it up
as a family heirloom,

but I'd be happy
to share it with you,

along with a personal letter
of introduction to the Earl marshal.

If I help you move
your goods to America.

What's in the freight?

Let's just say bits and bobs...

statuary from Egypt,
paintings from France.

There's a demand
for these things in America.

But my operation is small
and relies on relationships.

I just don't have the infrastructure
to move so much so quickly.

I do.

- So, it's a deal, then?
- Almost.

There's someone who wants
to see you...

Duchess.

Who is it? Sophie, if it gets
too hot, just leave.

Her ladyship,
the countess of Kensington.

If your cover's blown, it's okay.
Just find a way out.

Auntie!

There.
Family reunion.

I think the technical term
is "cotton swell."

Maybe it's you putting them in too far.
That's your problem.

I don't know how soon
we're doing this auction scam,

but are you planning on printing out
the entire diary, page by page?

You better hope she's got
a short and boring life.

Do you know what I've achieved here?
Do you?

I made ink from boysenberries?

I've tanned hide for the covers.

I got to tell you anything
he could use is not safe.

I made glue for the binding

from animal parts
I do not care to discuss.

I made contents for the pages
using an algorithm

from digitized colonial-era
novels and diaries.

It's Shakespeare in the house.

It sounds like a lot of work.

In a single day, I've gone
from apprentice to journeyman to master.

- He's losing it.
- I'm gonna go steal some stuff.

But come back,

'cause I've fused
computer technology with...

- this stuff.
- Let us know how that goes.

I've hacked history!

I've hacked history, people.

So, there I was remember this?

I had the weed clippers in one hand,
I had the prize petunias in the other.

And the dear girl looked me
right in the eye and said...

"Auntie, at least
you still have the blue ribbon!"

Pardon me a moment.

It will give us
a chance to catch up.

Hello. Yes, Mr. Moreau.

My dear Charlotte,

where have you been all these years?

You know, traveling.

I always wanted to see the world.

How have you been, auntie?

Well enough, in spite of my pains,

what with our dear William

gone these eight years come April.

Don't look so sad, girl.
It'll pucker your looks.

I miss him, that's all.

He never blamed you
for running off like you did.

But the drink helped to console him.

I loved him, auntie.
Very much.

And he loved you, dear...

fiercely.

One has to love fiercely

in order to die of a broken heart.

Don't you agree?

I am so sorry, your grace.
That was my employer.

There's been an incident in Boston

that's made him more cautious
about our next shipment.

I'd best go take care
of some details.

Instead of next week,
we'll be taking it out tomorrow.

That's not gonna be
a problem, is it?

You have something
you want to ask me.

How real is this...

this duchess persona?

Where are we exactly
on your side of things?

Everything's okay.

Keller is shipping his antiquities
out of London in the morning,

we have to finish forging
a 200-year-old book

that has to hold up
to expert scrutiny,

and take over an auction
that's gonna start in five minutes

and deliver to Keller a treasure trove of
antiquities that we don't actually have.

Piece of cake.

We're one step closer
to Damien Moreau.

Hardison, I need that book...

now.

Sophie said "flawless".
Now you're saying "fast".

You two need to have a
conversation and figure it out.

Fast. Go with fast.

Okay, but the glue on this binding...
it takes two weeks to dry naturally.

Now, a hair dryer is too hot
and too powerful.

It'll curl the pages
and melt the spine.

I managed to find a manicure dryer,
you're just gonna have to wait.

And as stunning as my work is...

stunning, I say...
it's still a rush job.

It'll pass the first inspection, but
it won't hold together for very long.

What's your status?

I'm meeting with Keller's
transport guys right now.

Hey, guys.
How are you?

I'm under orders
to inspect your facility

before we can move the things.

I see where you're coming from,
and I respect your work.

But we've only got two jobs today.

One is to accompany you
to your lady's storage bin

and empty it of its contents.

The second is
to take it back with us.

We won't be needing
your accompaniment on that second leg.

I got to call it in.

One second.

These guys want me to take them
straight to Sophie's secret stash.

What the hell am I
supposed to do with them?

Stall. Stall.

London city tour.

You're good at that.

You want me to stall them?
They're former British paratroopers!

How do you...

Haircuts, all right?
It's very distinctive haircuts.

Your grace.

I've checked
into the book collection.

- You checked them?
- Asked around.

Personal diaries
from the colonial era.

They have no idea what's in there...
What that diary is worth.

They think it's just the rambling
fantasies of a lovesick girl.

What?

Hey, is Sophie a princess?

Parker, just...
did you take care of the auctioneer?

Sophie told me to find out
his deepest wish and give it to him.

But I thought that would take
way too long, so...

Does this rag smell like
chloroform to you?

What? He's gonna wake up
in like three hours.

- Come on.
- That's insane. Red light means stop.

Like in the States. It's the same thing.
I should known that.

- I don't want to lose your boys.
- Are you sure you know where you're go?

I know exactly where I'm going, man.
It's just really tough.

It's hard. These streets are confusing,
the streets of London.

- The other side.
- Exactly.

You're meant to be
on the other bloody side of the road.

That's not my fault.

Lot 456.

This exquisite Ming dynasty vase
was once smuggled

out of mainland China
in a donkey's saddlebag.

It resurfaced decades later
in the private collection

of a Hong Kong billionaire,

where it was left virtually unprotected
by a subpart laser-grid security system.

Reserve price, �500,000.
Can I have a starting bid, please?

Okay. 550.

And do I have 600?

Yes to the toupee on the right.

An antique enamel
and 16-karat-gold jewelry box

made right here in London.

Let me tell you something. It's worth
more than you'd think by looking at it,

especially if you consider
the 16 angry henchmen who are gonna be

following you through the gardens
of Versailles. You know what I'm saying?

Lot 739.

A stone elephant crafted
by Peter Carl Faberg�

for his imperial highness.

Let me see that?

That's a fake.

You're here, finally.

"Finally"?

You are looking
at the Leonardo Da Vinci of forgery.

- It's all packed.
- All right.

The box has to pass, too.

And you can track Keller's money back
to Moreau's account, right?

Okay, but remember,
Keller has got to go big or go home.

I can follow his bid back
to the shell companies,

but it has to be big enough...
250,000 at least.

Okay, quarter of a million.
Let's go.

Stretch it out, stretch it out.

- We're up, Parker.
- Go ahead. Thank you.

All right, lot 872!

We've got a collection of old books
from the 1700s.

Do I have a starting bid?

I've got a starting bid.

You all right, there, fella?

All right,
I see I have a phone bid of �150,000,

someone who loves to read old stuff!

So, do I hear 160?

Sophie, we've got to get Keller
to bid at least �250,000.

Anything over that, and Hardison
can trace the money back to the source,

- and we can find Moreau.
- Isn't it

too much?

- 200.
- ?200,000!

Okay, we've got 200.
Anyone?

You like that?

You want to get with that? You got
to win the books. She loves the books.

- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

- 220!
- 220. All right!

Love a man in a pink shirt!
Not afraid to wear color.

- It's a good sign.
- What?

Why, that little toe rag.
That's a family heirloom.

How dare
that little low-class trash bid

on our ancestor's journal?

Quite right.

- 260.
- 260. Going once...

- 280.
- Wait!

That's too much.

At...

280.

220, that was romantic.

280, she's gonna think you're a sap.

280.

300.

Going once, twice, sold!

300. Great. Thanks for coming.

That was confusing, wasn't it?

All the what do you call those things?
Rounded... roundabouts, whatever?

You guys won't have those
in the States.

What language was the signs?

At least you guys speak American.
Or, I...

I mean, I know you speak English.
That's southern humor.

Keys. Keys.

Did I leave them in the van?
You don't think so?

It's genuine.
Thank you.

What?

Money transferring...

Now.

This is the first day of your new life
as a baron.

Shall we go
and see the Earl Marshal?

I'll be seeing him, thanks,
as soon as I bloody well please.

You'll need my letter
of introduction.

I had a chat
with the countess yesterday.

She told me all about
your little royal scandal.

Apparently, having you with me
would ruin my chances of advancement.

I'll take the book, thanks.
That's all I need.

What about our deal?

Right.

- Hello?
- Ennis.

Are you still at the storage unit?
Clear it out.

And their man...
shoot him.

Throw him in the Thames.

If it had been a snake,
it'd have bit me.

It really hurts me to have to do
this to you...

I've quite enjoyed your company
this afternoon.

I'm gonna need you to open up
the storage unit.

Let me explain something to you.
This thing, there's nothing in here.

My boss is running a con
on your boss, man.

I don't need this.
I didn't sign up for this.

- This thing is empty.
- I don't care if it's empty.

I've quite enjoyed
your company today...

As well.

Yes, Mr. Moreau. I'll be in Rome
in two hours, usual spot.

Could you finish up on the phone,
please, sir?

Could we,
possibly speed things up a little bit?

Can't miss my flight.

Urgent business.

Sorry, Mr. Keller.
We're going to have to detain you.

This is a very expensive piece
that I bought at auction.

Here's the paperwork.

Right. This says you purchased
a couple of books.

It doesn't say anything
about wooden Russian icons.

That's because
I didn't buy any icons.

You didn't buy them.

What?

- Parker, what do you got for me?
- Some great Russian icons,

17th-century.
And...

Statue, gold guy.

Perfect.
Statue of Ra.

Bring it to me.

And bring those icons.

I have an idea.

- Cheeky bitch.
- Well, that ain't all, mate.

You just paid �300,000
for a forgery.

This is...

- This has all been a misunderstanding.
- You can tell it to Scotland Yard.

They want to ask you about the other
antiquities you tried to smuggle today.

- What?
- Here we go. This way, sir.

- What's all this, then?
- It's a misunderstanding.

And what's in the storage unit?

Nothing.
It's empty.

Well, we'll see about that.

If that's what you call nothing,

I'd sure like to see something.

I don't know how you did it,
but thank you.

Thank you very much.

You've touched so many lives
without even knowing it.

Well, it's what we do.

High five.

Thank you so much.

The storage locker was not empty.

In fact, it was filled with stolen

artworks, antiquities.

- I read that in the paper.
- Your own personal stash?

That storage locker was filled

with some of the very first things
I ever stole.

You got a lot of buried secrets
in London, don't you?

Archaeology of crime.

- At least I now know your real name.
- That's not my real name.

"Charlotte" was my stage name.

Any news
on Keller's auction payment?

Yeah. In my trace,
I peeled back 10 layers of security

off an airborne Wi-Fi connection...

You might be
the greatest of all time, man.

- Did you find anything?
- Yeah, I found 10 shell companies,

one of which is actually
a promising lead.

It's called Slap Shot Investments
run by Mark Vector.

Mark Vector, the hockey player?
"The enforcer"?

- Great. Let's get him.
- That's the problem.

He struck a deal with the Feds.
He's protected.

What are you smiling at?
What is that?

Let's go steal a Federal witness.