subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Can of Worms (1999)

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:56,999 --> 00:00:58,998 Fellow citizens of the galaxy, 2 00:00:58,999 --> 00:01:00,998 I do not belong on this planet. 3 00:01:00,999 --> 00:01:02,998 I am one of you. 4 00:01:02,999 --> 00:01:04,998 I'm being held against my will. 5 00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:07,998 My potential to realize a happy and fulfilled life 6 00:01:07,999 --> 00:01:10,998 is nullified by the ignorant 7 00:01:10,999 --> 00:01:12,998 and cruel indigenous population of earth. 8 00:01:12,999 --> 00:01:14,708 You must save me! 9 00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:16,998 Take me away from this. 10 00:01:16,999 --> 00:01:19,998 Desperately in need of your assistance. 11 00:01:19,999 --> 00:01:21,999 Mike Pillsbury. 12 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,709 Yes! 13 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,999 Yes! Yes! Come and get me! 14 00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:27,998 The hanzels were a peaceful race. 15 00:02:27,999 --> 00:02:31,998 The were little pink people with long pointy ears, 16 00:02:31,999 --> 00:02:34,998 and they lived on a planet far beyond the milky way... 17 00:02:34,999 --> 00:02:37,998 A planet with two moons and a purple sun. 18 00:02:37,999 --> 00:02:41,500 There was no war, no hunger, 19 00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:44,166 nothing to be ticked off about... 20 00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:48,999 Until the day the jongs attacked. 21 00:02:51,876 --> 00:02:52,998 Thousands of spaceships 22 00:02:52,999 --> 00:02:54,998 bristling with force fields and weapons 23 00:02:54,999 --> 00:02:55,999 surrounded the planet. 24 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,333 The hanzels looked up! 25 00:02:57,334 --> 00:02:58,998 They knew nothing would ever be the same! 26 00:02:58,999 --> 00:03:00,998 They knew most of them would be doomed! 27 00:03:00,999 --> 00:03:01,999 Doomed? 28 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,998 Doomed. 29 00:03:04,999 --> 00:03:06,998 What happened? 30 00:03:06,999 --> 00:03:09,333 The hanzels were unprepared and quickly overrun. 31 00:03:09,334 --> 00:03:10,999 There was blind panic. 32 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,998 The parents tried to save their children... 33 00:03:12,999 --> 00:03:14,500 This is too sad. 34 00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:15,999 It gets worse! 35 00:03:17,999 --> 00:03:19,998 What happened? You can't stop now! 36 00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:22,998 I don't know if you can take it, Jay. This is hard stuff. 37 00:03:22,999 --> 00:03:24,998 Tell it anyway! 38 00:03:24,999 --> 00:03:28,166 They say a person's life flashes before their eyes 39 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,998 before their final moment. 40 00:03:30,999 --> 00:03:33,998 The father thought of his family, 41 00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:34,999 and then... 42 00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:40,998 Where to go? What to do? 43 00:03:40,999 --> 00:03:43,998 Only one thought screamed out in the mother's brain... 44 00:03:43,999 --> 00:03:45,998 Save the baby! 45 00:03:45,999 --> 00:03:47,999 Yes! Yes! Save the baby! 46 00:03:49,999 --> 00:03:52,998 Aw, c'mon, Mike. Is she gonna die? 47 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,998 I told you it was gonna get bad. 48 00:03:54,999 --> 00:03:56,875 You're giving the guy a mental breakdown. 49 00:03:56,876 --> 00:03:58,998 Admit it. It's a good story, isn't it? 50 00:03:58,999 --> 00:03:59,999 He thinks so. 51 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,998 Oh, yeah, sure. What a judge! 52 00:04:01,999 --> 00:04:04,998 He thinks the back of a cereal box is like Shakespeare. 53 00:04:04,999 --> 00:04:05,999 Shut up! 54 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,998 Do they die? The hanzels? 55 00:04:07,999 --> 00:04:08,999 Did you kill 'em? 56 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,999 It's never that simple. 57 00:04:12,999 --> 00:04:14,875 A space pod! 58 00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,998 Yes, a space pod. 59 00:04:16,999 --> 00:04:18,333 If the baby was to live, 60 00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:20,998 it had to be sent away to a new home, a new planet. 61 00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,998 Where does it land? 62 00:04:22,999 --> 00:04:23,999 Here on earth. 63 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,999 The boy will be adopted and raised as an earthling. 64 00:04:28,999 --> 00:04:32,999 But... he'll never really feel at home. 65 00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:39,999 Never... never feel like he belongs. 66 00:04:42,709 --> 00:04:44,166 He'll never feel as though this is the place 67 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:45,999 he was meant to spend his life. 68 00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,167 I'll tell you something... 69 00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:49,998 You take this being weird thing 70 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,998 entirely too seriously. 71 00:04:51,999 --> 00:04:53,333 Why don't you just accept the fact 72 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,708 that you're a normal human being like everyone else? 73 00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:56,998 All right. All right. 74 00:04:56,999 --> 00:05:01,998 Mike! Let's go! 75 00:05:01,999 --> 00:05:04,998 Mike, c'mon. We've got to get to the field by four. 76 00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:06,876 All right. One second, dad. 77 00:05:09,999 --> 00:05:11,998 Easy for him to say. 78 00:05:11,999 --> 00:05:13,998 Well, he was on the team when he was a kid. 79 00:05:13,999 --> 00:05:16,998 Yeah, and guys like Scott schriebner probably ran him over then 80 00:05:16,999 --> 00:05:18,998 just like they do to you now. 81 00:05:18,999 --> 00:05:20,500 He says it's discipline... Competitive spirit. 82 00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:22,998 He says it'll be good for my character. 83 00:05:22,999 --> 00:05:24,501 Aaah! 84 00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:31,998 Great defense work, pillsbury! 85 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,998 Tell me, is the idea that the oncoming tackle trips over you? 86 00:05:34,999 --> 00:05:36,998 In the excitement i missed that, schriebner. Did he? 87 00:05:36,999 --> 00:05:39,167 No! You missed him. They got a first down! 88 00:05:40,999 --> 00:05:43,876 [ Cheerleaders cheering ] 89 00:05:58,999 --> 00:05:59,999 Come on! 90 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,998 And get your mind off the cheerleaders, pillsbury. 91 00:06:02,999 --> 00:06:04,999 For you, that's a lost cause. 92 00:06:09,876 --> 00:06:10,999 Let's go! 93 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,998 Nash is in the huddle... 94 00:06:15,999 --> 00:06:17,998 And he calls it. 95 00:06:17,999 --> 00:06:20,998 Steps back in the pocket... 96 00:06:20,999 --> 00:06:23,999 Looking for his man... 97 00:06:26,999 --> 00:06:29,998 It's a long toss down the center of the field. 98 00:06:29,999 --> 00:06:32,999 Heavy coverage. 99 00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,998 And an interception! 100 00:06:36,999 --> 00:06:41,998 Number 11! Mike pillsbury? 101 00:06:41,999 --> 00:06:43,998 He's going to the 30! 102 00:06:43,999 --> 00:06:45,999 The 15! 103 00:06:50,999 --> 00:06:52,998 He's doubling back! 104 00:06:52,999 --> 00:06:54,999 He's going the wrong way! 105 00:06:59,999 --> 00:07:01,998 This is bad, right? 106 00:07:01,999 --> 00:07:03,998 Isn't he going the wrong way? 107 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:05,998 Pillsbury, stop! 108 00:07:05,999 --> 00:07:07,559 You idiot! You're running the wrong way! 109 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:15,998 He's down at the ten! 110 00:07:15,999 --> 00:07:17,998 Come on, guys. Let's get down there. 111 00:07:17,999 --> 00:07:19,999 What's wrong? 112 00:07:31,999 --> 00:07:33,999 What planet are you from? 113 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,998 No! Don't let them get me! 114 00:07:40,999 --> 00:07:42,998 They want my brain! 115 00:07:42,999 --> 00:07:44,999 They want my brain! 116 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,998 I think they already took it. 117 00:07:49,999 --> 00:07:51,599 How's he doing? Is he gonna be all right? 118 00:07:51,999 --> 00:07:53,999 Ok, let's go. 119 00:07:56,999 --> 00:07:58,998 Is he dead? 120 00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:00,998 Can I have his cd collection? 121 00:08:00,999 --> 00:08:02,998 Aw, he's not dead. Are you, son? 122 00:08:02,999 --> 00:08:05,998 No, you're not. And you'll learn from your mistakes. 123 00:08:05,999 --> 00:08:07,998 We're awfully proud of you, Mike. 124 00:08:07,999 --> 00:08:09,998 While that cannot be overemphasized, Mike, 125 00:08:09,999 --> 00:08:11,708 you'll never claim your varsity jacket 126 00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,998 by trying to score touchdowns for the other team. 127 00:08:13,999 --> 00:08:15,998 Remember the three ls. 128 00:08:15,999 --> 00:08:19,998 Listen, look, learn. Huh? 129 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,999 Good luck, fellow. We love you. 130 00:08:24,999 --> 00:08:30,167 Make a correction 27 degrees west, 35 degrees north. 131 00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,998 Mike? 132 00:08:34,999 --> 00:08:36,999 Mike! Honey? 133 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,998 Mike, can I get a little air time here? 134 00:08:38,999 --> 00:08:39,999 Oh, yeah. Sure, mom. 135 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,999 Cancel correction. 136 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,998 No. Not yet. 137 00:08:49,999 --> 00:08:52,998 Ok, we've got it vectored. I see a picture. 138 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,998 Now is he seeing the same image I am? 139 00:08:55,999 --> 00:08:56,999 Good. 140 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,708 Well, ok, but before you patch him through 141 00:08:58,709 --> 00:08:59,999 let's make sure we're on the same page with this, ok? 142 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,999 Yeah. Yeah. 143 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,998 No. It's nothing that subtitles won't solve. 144 00:09:04,999 --> 00:09:07,333 Ok. Well, put him through. 145 00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:08,998 Hi, sweetie. 146 00:09:08,999 --> 00:09:10,998 Hello. This is Pamela. 147 00:09:10,999 --> 00:09:13,999 Gerhardt, are you enjoying octoberfest? 148 00:09:23,876 --> 00:09:25,998 How's your head? 149 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,333 You're inquiring about my welfare? 150 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,999 Just the health of your head. 151 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,334 What do you want, Jill? 152 00:09:32,999 --> 00:09:34,998 I could've guessed. 153 00:09:34,999 --> 00:09:36,999 Come on. I need to pass this computer class. 154 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:42,166 What is a BIOS service routine? 155 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:45,334 A BIOS service routine is nothing more than an interrupt handler. 156 00:09:47,999 --> 00:09:51,998 Basically, pcs are controlled by the use of interrupts. 157 00:09:51,999 --> 00:09:52,999 When an interrupt occurs, 158 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,500 control of the computer is transferred 159 00:09:54,501 --> 00:09:56,500 to an interrupt handling subroutine process 160 00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:57,998 that's often stored in the system's rom. 161 00:09:57,999 --> 00:09:59,998 A BIOS service routine. 162 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,500 Are you sure? 163 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,999 Does a tesseract exist in four dimensions? 164 00:10:05,999 --> 00:10:08,999 You are definitely from another planet. 165 00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:13,999 Fantastic. 166 00:10:17,999 --> 00:10:21,998 Ok. Rise and shine, at&t. 167 00:10:21,999 --> 00:10:23,501 And how are we today? 168 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,999 [ Oinking ] 169 00:10:30,999 --> 00:10:31,999 Mike! 170 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,998 Mike, are you in there? 171 00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:35,999 Huh? 172 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,998 I just went from stocks to stockyards. 173 00:10:38,999 --> 00:10:39,999 What gives? 174 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,998 Oh, sorry. 175 00:10:41,999 --> 00:10:43,998 I needed the extra ram for a little programming project. 176 00:10:43,999 --> 00:10:46,998 I'm using this new graphics card that I tweaked a bit, 177 00:10:46,999 --> 00:10:49,999 and now it just eats up memory like a gulper eel. 178 00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:52,998 Oh. 179 00:10:52,999 --> 00:10:55,998 Son, you need more fresh air. 180 00:10:55,999 --> 00:10:58,998 I'm gonna climb out from under the office, 181 00:10:58,999 --> 00:11:01,998 and we're gonna practice some football moves, huh? 182 00:11:01,999 --> 00:11:03,998 Ah, dad... 183 00:11:03,999 --> 00:11:06,998 Dad, ah... 184 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:09,998 I don't know about football anymore. 185 00:11:09,999 --> 00:11:11,875 Maybe it's not for me. 186 00:11:11,876 --> 00:11:13,998 Mike, I don't want to hear the word "can't." 187 00:11:13,999 --> 00:11:14,999 Did I say can't? 188 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,998 I have faith in you. 189 00:11:16,999 --> 00:11:19,998 You can do anything you put your mind to. 190 00:11:19,999 --> 00:11:21,998 Including running down the field as a halfback. 191 00:11:21,999 --> 00:11:24,333 Hopefully, in the right direction. 192 00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,875 Thanks, dad. I know, but i just don't think... 193 00:11:26,876 --> 00:11:28,708 No, no. No buts about it. 194 00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:30,998 Anything, Mike. That's the word for the day. 195 00:11:30,999 --> 00:11:32,998 Anything. 196 00:11:32,999 --> 00:11:35,998 Ok. Anything. 197 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,999 Anything. 198 00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:42,998 So how about running off those farm animals 199 00:11:42,999 --> 00:11:44,998 and giving me back my stock market? 200 00:11:44,999 --> 00:11:46,709 Sure. 201 00:12:01,999 --> 00:12:02,999 Ooh! 202 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,998 Amazing. A physical reaction. 203 00:12:04,999 --> 00:12:05,999 He's alive. 204 00:12:07,999 --> 00:12:10,998 Scott schriebner, big man on campus. 205 00:12:10,999 --> 00:12:13,998 Muscles, good-looking athlete, computer whiz... 206 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,708 How perfect can a guy get? 207 00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:17,998 Oh, it's nauseating. 208 00:12:17,999 --> 00:12:18,999 Too bad he's a perfect jerk. 209 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,999 Everybody, boot up! 210 00:12:22,999 --> 00:12:23,999 Ms. nickerson? 211 00:12:31,999 --> 00:12:33,500 There's a seat here for you, if you want. 212 00:12:33,501 --> 00:12:36,501 No, thanks 213 00:12:39,999 --> 00:12:40,999 no one sitting here? 214 00:12:40,999 --> 00:12:41,999 No. 215 00:12:43,999 --> 00:12:49,998 Open your textbooks to page 268, paragraph 5. 216 00:12:49,999 --> 00:12:51,999 Now, please. 217 00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:27,999 Are you gonna let him get away with that? 218 00:13:33,999 --> 00:13:35,998 Yes! Do it, Mike. 219 00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:37,709 Make him suffer. 220 00:13:40,999 --> 00:13:42,998 [ Beeping ] 221 00:13:42,999 --> 00:13:44,501 You have mail. 222 00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:10,333 Class, it appears that i have to attend to something in the office. 223 00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,999 If you'll excuse me? 224 00:14:16,999 --> 00:14:19,167 Now for the coup de grace. 225 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:29,999 [ Oinking ] 226 00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:42,501 [ Laughter ] 227 00:14:51,501 --> 00:14:52,501 It's your head. 228 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,999 Nice going, buddy. 229 00:15:02,999 --> 00:15:05,166 As cruel and wicked as the jong were, 230 00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:06,998 they were not without friends. 231 00:15:06,999 --> 00:15:09,875 The mantrix, who resembled overgrown sewer rats, 232 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:10,501 were their allies. 233 00:15:10,502 --> 00:15:12,998 Rats? Eeuuw! 234 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,998 On orders from the jongs, 235 00:15:14,999 --> 00:15:16,998 the mantrix invaded. 236 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:17,999 Not from the sky, 237 00:15:17,999 --> 00:15:18,999 but from the ground under our feet. 238 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,998 Whoa! 239 00:15:20,999 --> 00:15:22,998 The intruders were unarmed 240 00:15:22,999 --> 00:15:25,998 except for the nasty mucous glands in their pointed snouts. 241 00:15:25,999 --> 00:15:27,998 They slimed us into submission. 242 00:15:27,999 --> 00:15:29,998 That is so nasty! 243 00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:31,998 With everything else you've stuffed in this place, 244 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,998 you'd think you'd have installed a stupid phone. 245 00:15:34,999 --> 00:15:36,875 It's designed for privacy. 246 00:15:36,876 --> 00:15:40,166 You've got a visitor. Katelyn... somebody. 247 00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:41,998 Yeah, right. 248 00:15:41,999 --> 00:15:43,998 You wish, Mike. 249 00:15:43,999 --> 00:15:45,998 Fine. Be that way. I don't care. 250 00:15:45,999 --> 00:15:48,999 Oh, she's waiting in your room. 251 00:15:51,876 --> 00:15:53,998 Man, your sister has a sick sense of humor. 252 00:15:53,999 --> 00:15:56,998 Right. Like Katelyn sandman's gonna come to my house 253 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:57,999 and wait in my room. 254 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,998 Yeah. And Scott schriebner's on his way 255 00:15:59,999 --> 00:16:01,998 to ask for your advice on how to be a better football player. 256 00:16:01,999 --> 00:16:03,998 [ Laughing ] 257 00:16:03,999 --> 00:16:05,998 But you're an interesting person. 258 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:06,999 What if she really is there? 259 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,334 Waiting for a story? 260 00:16:11,999 --> 00:16:13,999 A story. [ Laughing ] 261 00:16:46,999 --> 00:16:48,998 Hi. 262 00:16:48,999 --> 00:16:50,998 Hey. 263 00:16:50,999 --> 00:16:52,998 It's like Frankenstein's lab in here. 264 00:16:52,999 --> 00:16:53,999 Did you build all these? 265 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,333 It's kind of what i do in my spare time. 266 00:16:57,334 --> 00:16:58,998 When you're not playing football. 267 00:16:58,999 --> 00:17:01,998 I'm better at stuff when I'm on my own. 268 00:17:01,999 --> 00:17:04,998 The whole team thing kind of confuses me, I guess. 269 00:17:04,999 --> 00:17:06,998 I noticed. 270 00:17:06,999 --> 00:17:08,998 What does this do? 271 00:17:08,999 --> 00:17:11,998 This? Ah, it's a transmitter. 272 00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,500 Kind of. 273 00:17:13,501 --> 00:17:15,998 It takes digitalized data right through here... 274 00:17:15,999 --> 00:17:16,999 Like anything from a computer... 275 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,998 And it sends it out instantly. 276 00:17:18,999 --> 00:17:21,500 Zap! Right out into space 277 00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:22,998 to the farthest reaches of the universe. 278 00:17:22,999 --> 00:17:24,998 Beyond time and imagination. 279 00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:27,998 Wow! How'd you think of that? 280 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:29,500 Thinking of it's easy. 281 00:17:29,501 --> 00:17:32,998 Making it work seems to be a bit more complicated. 282 00:17:32,999 --> 00:17:34,039 Sure looks like it'd work. 283 00:17:44,999 --> 00:17:47,998 So, uh, why're you here? 284 00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:51,998 Oh, the prank you pulled in nickerson's class was brilliant. 285 00:17:51,999 --> 00:17:52,999 That got me thinking... 286 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,708 About what? 287 00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,998 Well, I'm doing the decorations for the Halloween dance, 288 00:17:56,999 --> 00:17:59,998 and I don't have a huge budget or anything, 289 00:17:59,999 --> 00:18:02,998 but I know if I just put up orange crepe paper, it'll be a dud. 290 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:03,999 So I want something new... 291 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,998 Something hi-tech, creative. 292 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,998 You're the man to help me do it. 293 00:18:09,999 --> 00:18:11,998 The man? 294 00:18:11,999 --> 00:18:13,999 I am? Me? 295 00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:19,998 Wow! I'm... 296 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,998 The... the man. 297 00:18:21,999 --> 00:18:23,998 Yeah. Well, why not? 298 00:18:23,999 --> 00:18:24,999 Definitely. Absolutely. 299 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,708 So that means yes? 300 00:18:27,709 --> 00:18:28,999 Yes! 301 00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:48,998 You're a genius. 302 00:19:48,999 --> 00:19:49,999 It's gonna work! 303 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,998 We make such a great team. 304 00:19:51,999 --> 00:19:52,999 Who'd have thought? 305 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,998 What do you mean? 306 00:19:54,999 --> 00:19:55,999 What's so surprising about it? 307 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,998 I don't know. You're... you know, 308 00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:01,998 Katelyn sandman, head cheerleader and everything. 309 00:20:01,999 --> 00:20:04,999 And I'm just Mike pillsbury. 310 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,998 You know, for being such a genius, 311 00:20:09,999 --> 00:20:11,501 you sure are an idiot. 312 00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,998 Some people say you tell great stories. 313 00:20:20,999 --> 00:20:22,501 When are you gonna tell me one? 314 00:20:24,999 --> 00:20:27,998 No, no, no, no. That's nothing. 315 00:20:27,999 --> 00:20:30,998 It's just stuff I tell my friend's little brother 316 00:20:30,999 --> 00:20:31,999 to pass the time. 317 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,999 Well, I've got some time now. 318 00:20:41,999 --> 00:20:42,999 Ok. 319 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:55,500 Our spaceship was over a mile long and half that wide. 320 00:20:55,501 --> 00:20:57,998 It was built for a long journey. 321 00:20:57,999 --> 00:21:00,998 The adults always looked ahead for a safe voyage, 322 00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:02,999 and behind for the evil... 323 00:21:04,999 --> 00:21:06,709 Schriebner. 324 00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:09,998 Been looking all over for you, Katelyn. 325 00:21:09,999 --> 00:21:11,708 A bunch of us are on our way out for something to eat. 326 00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:12,875 You wanna come? 327 00:21:12,876 --> 00:21:14,998 Yeah, sure. Let's take a break. 328 00:21:14,999 --> 00:21:16,998 Come on. You must be hungry. 329 00:21:16,999 --> 00:21:17,999 Did I invite him? 330 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,998 I don't think so. 331 00:21:19,999 --> 00:21:21,998 Hey, who said I'd go with you anyway, schriebner? 332 00:21:21,999 --> 00:21:23,998 I'm busy, you know. 333 00:21:23,999 --> 00:21:25,998 I don't have time like you to stuff myself 334 00:21:25,999 --> 00:21:27,998 with some greasy hamburger. 335 00:21:27,999 --> 00:21:29,998 But you know what? Go ahead. 336 00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,333 Put on a few. Clog up your arteries. 337 00:21:31,334 --> 00:21:33,998 Graduate from halfback to fullback. 338 00:21:33,999 --> 00:21:34,999 Shut up, pillsbury. 339 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,998 What are you doing with this guy? 340 00:21:36,999 --> 00:21:38,998 And what is all this junk? 341 00:21:38,999 --> 00:21:39,999 Hey, it's not junk. Ok? 342 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,998 And it's all under control without you. 343 00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:43,999 Hey, hey. 344 00:21:45,999 --> 00:21:47,998 Tell everyone I say hi. 345 00:21:47,999 --> 00:21:48,999 Ok? 346 00:21:55,999 --> 00:21:59,999 Nothing like the dreaded schriebner to get your blood boiling, huh? 347 00:22:03,999 --> 00:22:05,500 What? 348 00:22:05,501 --> 00:22:07,998 Nothing. 349 00:22:07,999 --> 00:22:11,998 Nothing. Just schriebner... 350 00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:13,999 I would have thought you'd have gone... 351 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,999 But... but you didn't. 352 00:22:20,999 --> 00:22:22,998 Forget it. 353 00:22:22,999 --> 00:22:24,998 I should probably stop speaking right now. 354 00:22:24,999 --> 00:22:28,501 Oh, I agree. You should stop speaking. 355 00:22:33,999 --> 00:22:37,998 You know, strangely enough, I'm hungry. 356 00:22:37,999 --> 00:22:41,998 You know, strangely enough, so am I. 357 00:22:41,999 --> 00:22:43,875 Let's go. 358 00:22:43,876 --> 00:22:45,167 All right. 359 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,000 Wooo! 360 00:23:15,001 --> 00:23:16,999 Shut up. 361 00:23:17,999 --> 00:23:22,708 Katelyn ropes pillsbury into help on this stupid dance, 362 00:23:22,709 --> 00:23:25,167 and all of a sudden he's got a swelled head. 363 00:23:27,876 --> 00:23:30,999 Time to cut him down to size if you ask me. 364 00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:42,501 And I think I know how. 365 00:23:47,167 --> 00:23:49,709 Oh, yeah. 366 00:23:54,999 --> 00:23:56,999 Oh, great tuxedo! 367 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,166 Thanks. 368 00:23:58,167 --> 00:23:59,998 I've seen it all. 369 00:23:59,999 --> 00:24:01,998 He's soldering his cummerbund. 370 00:24:01,999 --> 00:24:02,999 Shut up. 371 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,998 Kids, please. 372 00:24:04,999 --> 00:24:06,998 You know, your mother and i realized something. 373 00:24:06,999 --> 00:24:09,708 In all the chaos of our day-to-day life, 374 00:24:09,709 --> 00:24:11,998 we never sent you to dance lessons. 375 00:24:11,999 --> 00:24:13,875 Dad, I don't... 376 00:24:13,876 --> 00:24:15,998 Now this is a little something that I distributed 377 00:24:15,999 --> 00:24:17,500 to a chain of stations throughout the canary islands 378 00:24:17,501 --> 00:24:19,998 and for closed circuit on cruise ships. 379 00:24:19,999 --> 00:24:21,999 Ten... easy... lessons! 380 00:24:29,999 --> 00:24:31,999 Oh, boy. 381 00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:36,998 Ooh, lights on a cummerbund. 382 00:24:36,999 --> 00:24:37,999 Do you like it? 383 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,334 Pretty nifty. 384 00:24:44,999 --> 00:24:48,998 Mike! Mike, where are you? 385 00:24:48,999 --> 00:24:50,875 Katelyn, I'm here. I'm here. 386 00:24:50,876 --> 00:24:52,999 Quick, we don't have much time. Let's go. 387 00:24:54,167 --> 00:24:55,998 It will only take a minute to boot up. 388 00:24:55,999 --> 00:24:57,999 Ok. 389 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,998 Mike, before all this begins, 390 00:25:02,999 --> 00:25:05,998 I just want to say that i had so much fun doing this with you. 391 00:25:05,999 --> 00:25:07,166 Me too. 392 00:25:07,167 --> 00:25:09,166 So, can you put this thing on autopilot 393 00:25:09,167 --> 00:25:10,998 so we have a chance to dance? 394 00:25:10,999 --> 00:25:13,998 Actually, that's just a matter of two keystrokes. 395 00:25:13,999 --> 00:25:14,999 Ok. Hurry. 396 00:25:14,999 --> 00:25:15,999 All right. 397 00:25:18,999 --> 00:25:20,875 Testing. Testing. 398 00:25:20,876 --> 00:25:22,998 Testing. Testing. Testing. 399 00:25:22,999 --> 00:25:26,998 Ok, this speaker is on six right. 400 00:25:26,999 --> 00:25:28,999 All right. That should be ok. 401 00:25:46,999 --> 00:25:48,998 We're ready. 402 00:25:48,999 --> 00:25:51,167 Everybody, come on in. 403 00:25:58,999 --> 00:26:00,708 Welcome, everyone! 404 00:26:00,709 --> 00:26:03,998 Welcome to the ashby annual Halloween dance. 405 00:26:03,999 --> 00:26:05,998 A moment before we begin... 406 00:26:05,999 --> 00:26:07,999 Quiet. Quiet, please. 407 00:26:10,999 --> 00:26:12,998 This production was brought to you 408 00:26:12,999 --> 00:26:15,998 by Mike pillsbury starfield intergalactic communications 409 00:26:15,999 --> 00:26:17,998 and entertainment corporation! 410 00:26:17,999 --> 00:26:19,333 That's me. 411 00:26:19,334 --> 00:26:23,999 As well as the talented and inspirational Katelyn sandman, 412 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,998 who first came up with the idea 413 00:26:26,999 --> 00:26:28,999 that orange crepe paper just wouldn't make it. 414 00:26:41,999 --> 00:26:44,999 And now, let the games begin. 415 00:27:38,999 --> 00:27:41,999 Push the button! Oh, please push the button! 416 00:27:54,999 --> 00:27:56,500 Mike, what's happening? 417 00:27:56,501 --> 00:27:57,541 I don't know what's wrong. 418 00:28:12,999 --> 00:28:13,999 Mike? 419 00:28:13,999 --> 00:28:14,999 I can't stop it! 420 00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:21,999 I don't know what's wrong! 421 00:28:49,999 --> 00:28:50,999 Don't! 422 00:28:52,167 --> 00:28:53,167 Don't! 423 00:29:06,999 --> 00:29:08,999 Mike, no... 424 00:30:19,999 --> 00:30:21,998 Fellow citizens of the galaxy, 425 00:30:21,999 --> 00:30:23,998 I do not belong on this planet. 426 00:30:23,999 --> 00:30:25,998 I am one of you. 427 00:30:25,999 --> 00:30:27,998 I'm being held against my will. 428 00:30:27,999 --> 00:30:30,998 My potential to realize a happy and fulfilled life 429 00:30:30,999 --> 00:30:32,998 is nullified by the ignorant 430 00:30:32,999 --> 00:30:35,998 and cruel indigenous population of earth. 431 00:30:35,999 --> 00:30:37,166 You must save me! 432 00:30:37,167 --> 00:30:39,998 Take me away from this. 433 00:30:39,999 --> 00:30:42,998 Desperately in need of your assistance. 434 00:30:42,999 --> 00:30:44,999 Mike pillsbury. 435 00:31:25,999 --> 00:31:26,999 Yes! 436 00:31:31,999 --> 00:31:34,501 Yes! Yes! Come and get me! 437 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,999 Will someone just listen for once? 438 00:31:59,999 --> 00:32:03,998 Dana: Ok, let's look at the positive. 439 00:32:03,999 --> 00:32:06,998 Insurance will cover the destroyed satellite dish. 440 00:32:06,999 --> 00:32:08,998 You're still alive. 441 00:32:08,999 --> 00:32:11,998 Pamela: And none of the kids at the dance were hurt. Right? 442 00:32:11,999 --> 00:32:13,875 Mike: I just can't face anybody. 443 00:32:13,876 --> 00:32:14,999 Dana: Mike, you're overreacting. 444 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,998 Excuse me. It's good that he suffers. 445 00:32:17,999 --> 00:32:20,998 This family is now reduced to a paltry choice 446 00:32:20,999 --> 00:32:22,708 of ordinary network programming. 447 00:32:22,709 --> 00:32:25,998 That's true, but somehow i know we'll survive. 448 00:32:25,999 --> 00:32:28,998 Mike, I want you to get right back up on that horse! 449 00:32:28,999 --> 00:32:30,998 Put on those pants, brush those teeth, 450 00:32:30,999 --> 00:32:31,999 go back to school. 451 00:32:31,999 --> 00:32:32,999 That's it, hon. 452 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,166 Your varsity jacket awaits. 453 00:32:34,167 --> 00:32:35,998 Absolutely. 454 00:32:35,999 --> 00:32:37,998 Yeah, the least you can do is help me with my homework. 455 00:32:37,999 --> 00:32:42,166 "The speed of train a is 12 miles an hour slower than train b. 456 00:32:42,167 --> 00:32:43,998 Train a..." 457 00:32:43,999 --> 00:32:47,999 I've lost my will to solve. 458 00:32:48,999 --> 00:32:50,999 Sorry. 459 00:33:28,999 --> 00:33:31,998 Um... 460 00:33:31,999 --> 00:33:33,998 What? 461 00:33:33,999 --> 00:33:35,999 Nothing. 462 00:34:31,999 --> 00:34:33,999 What the...? 463 00:34:36,999 --> 00:34:39,998 Hey... 464 00:34:39,999 --> 00:34:42,998 Where did you come from? 465 00:34:42,999 --> 00:34:45,875 How did you get in here, boy? 466 00:34:45,876 --> 00:34:46,998 Please don't touch! 467 00:34:46,999 --> 00:34:48,998 My people are a superior race, 468 00:34:48,999 --> 00:34:50,998 and we abhor casual contact with primitives! 469 00:34:50,999 --> 00:34:52,998 You talk?! 470 00:34:52,999 --> 00:34:54,998 Through my translating device, yes. 471 00:34:54,999 --> 00:34:57,875 This is not happening. 472 00:34:57,876 --> 00:34:58,998 My mind has finally snapped. 473 00:34:58,999 --> 00:35:00,998 I'm afraid you're quite sane 474 00:35:00,999 --> 00:35:03,998 and gifted with an abundant intelligence. 475 00:35:03,999 --> 00:35:05,998 You do talk. 476 00:35:05,999 --> 00:35:08,500 Otherwise you wouldn't have been able to open the door. 477 00:35:08,501 --> 00:35:08,999 Door? 478 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,999 The Stargate. 479 00:35:21,999 --> 00:35:25,500 Allow me to introduce myself. 480 00:35:25,501 --> 00:35:27,333 I am barnabus. 481 00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:28,998 From the star system puppis. 482 00:35:28,999 --> 00:35:30,998 Oh, boy. 483 00:35:30,999 --> 00:35:32,998 I represent a galactarian organization... 484 00:35:32,999 --> 00:35:35,708 Disaster relief, rights violations. 485 00:35:35,709 --> 00:35:37,998 Non-profit, of course. 486 00:35:37,999 --> 00:35:39,708 I'm hallucinating. 487 00:35:39,709 --> 00:35:41,998 If you'll excuse me, i think I'll go lie down. 488 00:35:41,999 --> 00:35:44,998 That's impossible, Mike pillsbury. We have to go. 489 00:35:44,999 --> 00:35:45,999 Go? Where? 490 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,998 Off this planet. 491 00:35:47,999 --> 00:35:49,998 Off this planet? 492 00:35:49,999 --> 00:35:51,998 That was your intention, wasn't it? 493 00:35:51,999 --> 00:35:52,999 When you sent the message? 494 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,998 You got it. 495 00:35:54,999 --> 00:35:57,998 Of course. And the longer we delay the departure, 496 00:35:57,999 --> 00:36:00,998 the more complex it all becomes. 497 00:36:00,999 --> 00:36:03,998 Well, I really appreciate you coming all this way and all, 498 00:36:03,999 --> 00:36:06,166 but I don't believe you exist! 499 00:36:06,167 --> 00:36:07,999 I gotta go! 500 00:36:11,999 --> 00:36:14,875 Mike pillsbury, you were the one who pleaded 501 00:36:14,876 --> 00:36:16,676 that you were trapped on an oppressive planet. 502 00:36:17,999 --> 00:36:19,333 How did you get down here? 503 00:36:19,334 --> 00:36:20,999 Don't delay, Mike pillsbury. 504 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,998 Others from all over the galaxy 505 00:36:23,999 --> 00:36:26,166 are travelling through the gate to find you. 506 00:36:26,167 --> 00:36:28,998 They won't have your best interest at heart. 507 00:36:28,999 --> 00:36:30,875 Excuse me. 508 00:36:30,876 --> 00:36:33,875 Please! Trust no one but me! 509 00:36:33,876 --> 00:36:36,876 Be ready to leave the next time I see you. 510 00:36:37,999 --> 00:36:38,999 I'm delirious! 511 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,876 Or maybe I'm just hungry. 512 00:37:14,876 --> 00:37:15,999 What stinks? 513 00:37:19,999 --> 00:37:20,999 Uuugh! 514 00:37:25,999 --> 00:37:27,501 Aaaaaah! 515 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,999 I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming! 516 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,998 I'm... I'm... 517 00:37:33,999 --> 00:37:35,999 Not dreaming! 518 00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:49,998 What are you? 519 00:37:49,999 --> 00:37:52,998 I am the bom, 520 00:37:52,999 --> 00:37:55,998 your new best friend. 521 00:37:55,999 --> 00:37:58,998 You need my help, Mike pillsbury. 522 00:37:58,999 --> 00:38:01,998 I have come to handle your case. 523 00:38:01,999 --> 00:38:03,998 Case? What case? 524 00:38:03,999 --> 00:38:06,998 I can get you millions in galactic credits! 525 00:38:06,999 --> 00:38:11,166 You will be taken care of for life! 526 00:38:11,167 --> 00:38:16,999 Shall we go? 527 00:38:25,999 --> 00:38:28,998 Well... I... 528 00:38:28,999 --> 00:38:30,708 [ Phone rings ] Huhhhh! 529 00:38:30,709 --> 00:38:32,999 Excuse me. 530 00:38:33,999 --> 00:38:34,999 Hello. 531 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,166 Mike? It's Katelyn. 532 00:38:36,167 --> 00:38:38,998 Katelyn? Uh, wha... 533 00:38:38,999 --> 00:38:42,998 Uh, what a surprise. I thought you... we... 534 00:38:42,999 --> 00:38:44,998 What's up? 535 00:38:44,999 --> 00:38:46,998 I wanted to apologize. 536 00:38:46,999 --> 00:38:48,998 We need to lighten up. 537 00:38:48,999 --> 00:38:50,998 We're taking this too hard. 538 00:38:50,999 --> 00:38:53,998 Yes. Right. We've got to lighten up. 539 00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:55,998 I can do that. 540 00:38:55,999 --> 00:38:59,875 I'm so sorry. It seems we can't even talk to each other. 541 00:38:59,876 --> 00:39:01,998 Things have gotten so out of hand. 542 00:39:01,999 --> 00:39:03,998 Uugh! 543 00:39:03,999 --> 00:39:06,998 But what happened wasn't your fault. 544 00:39:06,999 --> 00:39:09,998 Disgusting! 545 00:39:09,999 --> 00:39:10,999 Mike? 546 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,333 I'm here. Sorry... 547 00:39:13,334 --> 00:39:15,998 What were you saying? 548 00:39:15,999 --> 00:39:19,875 I was saying that I haven't been very fair to you. 549 00:39:19,876 --> 00:39:21,998 And I wanted to get past this and move ahead. 550 00:39:21,999 --> 00:39:25,998 You know, you're a great guy. 551 00:39:25,999 --> 00:39:27,999 Uuugh! 552 00:39:32,999 --> 00:39:33,999 Mike? 553 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,709 Mike? 554 00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:38,999 Mike, are you there? 555 00:39:40,999 --> 00:39:42,998 Mike? Mike? 556 00:39:42,999 --> 00:39:43,999 Oh, that stinks! 557 00:39:45,999 --> 00:39:46,999 What are you talking about? 558 00:39:46,999 --> 00:39:47,999 Stop it! 559 00:39:47,999 --> 00:39:48,999 What? 560 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,875 No! No, no, no, it's not you! 561 00:39:51,876 --> 00:39:53,998 Mike, you're not making this any easier. 562 00:39:53,999 --> 00:39:55,998 It's... ah... a plumber! 563 00:39:55,999 --> 00:39:59,875 Yeah, the bathroom's all backed up. It's... 564 00:39:59,876 --> 00:40:00,876 Gross. 565 00:40:00,877 --> 00:40:01,998 Yeah. 566 00:40:01,999 --> 00:40:03,998 I wanted to say that I miss you. 567 00:40:03,999 --> 00:40:06,998 And I hope there's some way that we can be friends again. 568 00:40:06,999 --> 00:40:09,166 I think we had something special going on. 569 00:40:09,167 --> 00:40:12,999 The more I think of what happened, 570 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,998 the funnier it is to me and the less I care. 571 00:40:15,999 --> 00:40:19,998 So, what do you say? 572 00:40:19,999 --> 00:40:21,998 Oh, that's nauseating! 573 00:40:21,999 --> 00:40:22,999 Mike, are you listening to me? 574 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,998 Sorry, sorry. Uh... 575 00:40:24,999 --> 00:40:27,166 Go on, Katelyn. 576 00:40:27,167 --> 00:40:29,998 Well, I wanted to know if we could start over? 577 00:40:29,999 --> 00:40:32,998 But I don't get the feeling that you're paying attention to me at all. 578 00:40:32,999 --> 00:40:34,159 What's happening over there? 579 00:40:37,501 --> 00:40:38,998 Uuugh! 580 00:40:38,999 --> 00:40:40,998 Oooh! Aaaah! 581 00:40:40,999 --> 00:40:43,998 I'm gonna be sick! 582 00:40:43,999 --> 00:40:45,999 Forget I called! 583 00:40:47,501 --> 00:40:49,999 You ruined my phone call! 584 00:40:50,999 --> 00:40:52,998 That was delicious! 585 00:40:52,999 --> 00:40:54,875 Do you have any more? 586 00:40:54,876 --> 00:40:55,998 No! 587 00:40:55,999 --> 00:40:59,500 Oh. Well, perhaps it'll make you feel better to know 588 00:40:59,501 --> 00:41:02,999 that I am what you earthlings call a lawyer. 589 00:41:04,999 --> 00:41:06,998 What? 590 00:41:06,999 --> 00:41:10,998 Perhaps it will make you feel better to know you have an open-and-shut case 591 00:41:10,999 --> 00:41:11,999 against the earth's government. 592 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,998 What are you talking about? 593 00:41:13,999 --> 00:41:15,998 Lawsuit, my dear boy. 594 00:41:15,999 --> 00:41:18,998 The intergalactic statute is black and white. 595 00:41:18,999 --> 00:41:21,998 No life form of superior intelligence 596 00:41:21,999 --> 00:41:25,998 shall be subject to exposure to substandard environmental, 597 00:41:25,999 --> 00:41:31,998 psychological, or emotional life circumstance. 598 00:41:31,999 --> 00:41:37,875 In short, we can sue the pants off of planet earth. 599 00:41:37,876 --> 00:41:40,998 No. No, no, no. I don't want to sue anybody. 600 00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,875 See, I was upset and I had this idea that I'd call for help, 601 00:41:43,876 --> 00:41:44,998 but I never thought... 602 00:41:44,999 --> 00:41:47,999 You never thought what? 603 00:41:51,999 --> 00:41:53,998 I never thought you guys would really come. 604 00:41:53,999 --> 00:41:56,998 Well, we did. 605 00:41:56,999 --> 00:42:01,999 And no one will offer you a better fee structure than myself. 606 00:42:03,999 --> 00:42:06,998 Well, sorry, but... 607 00:42:06,999 --> 00:42:08,998 But, no. 608 00:42:08,999 --> 00:42:11,998 You think you're sorry now? 609 00:42:11,999 --> 00:42:14,998 Wait till you hear from my lawyers! 610 00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:18,999 I'm suing you for wasting my time! 611 00:42:35,999 --> 00:42:36,999 Uuugh! 612 00:42:38,999 --> 00:42:39,999 Ok, what's the big surprise? 613 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,998 Hey. Come on in. 614 00:42:42,999 --> 00:42:43,999 Uuugh, who barfed? 615 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,998 Oh, no, no, no. It's not barf. 616 00:42:46,999 --> 00:42:48,501 See? It's an emission. 617 00:42:50,999 --> 00:42:52,998 From whose nose? 618 00:42:52,999 --> 00:42:54,998 Oh, no, no. He got my message. 619 00:42:54,999 --> 00:42:55,999 See, I had a visitor. 620 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,166 He called himself a bom. 621 00:42:57,167 --> 00:42:58,500 He was an alien. 622 00:42:58,501 --> 00:43:00,708 Oh, and there's barnabus. 623 00:43:00,709 --> 00:43:01,998 He looks like a dog but he's not a dog. 624 00:43:01,999 --> 00:43:03,333 He's an alien too. 625 00:43:03,334 --> 00:43:04,998 He had this... 626 00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:05,999 Ha ha ha ha! 627 00:43:05,999 --> 00:43:06,167 What? 628 00:43:06,168 --> 00:43:07,998 What? 629 00:43:07,999 --> 00:43:10,998 You puked up your room and now you've got to make up a story. 630 00:43:10,999 --> 00:43:13,708 It's not a story! Come on. He was here. 631 00:43:13,709 --> 00:43:14,999 He used a Stargate. 632 00:43:17,501 --> 00:43:21,998 Oh, that's an original. 633 00:43:21,999 --> 00:43:23,998 Yeah, yeah. It looked just like a drain pipe. 634 00:43:23,999 --> 00:43:25,998 Just right out of there. 635 00:43:25,999 --> 00:43:28,708 A drain pipe. 636 00:43:28,709 --> 00:43:29,998 Yeah. 637 00:43:29,999 --> 00:43:31,999 Yeah! 638 00:43:34,999 --> 00:43:37,998 I'm not lying. It's the truth. 639 00:43:37,999 --> 00:43:39,998 Come on. You've gotta believe me. 640 00:43:39,999 --> 00:43:41,998 You've got me worried, man. 641 00:43:41,999 --> 00:43:43,998 It's gotten so bad that you can't tell the difference 642 00:43:43,999 --> 00:43:46,875 between real life and your own imagination. 643 00:43:46,876 --> 00:43:48,998 No, no, Nick. Come on. Give me some slack. 644 00:43:48,999 --> 00:43:50,500 I wouldn't make this up. 645 00:43:50,501 --> 00:43:51,999 Come on, Nick. Don't go! 646 00:43:52,999 --> 00:43:54,998 I'll see you guys tomorrow, ok? 647 00:43:54,999 --> 00:43:56,998 And we'll make some plans for next weekend. 648 00:43:56,999 --> 00:43:57,999 Thanks for helping us. 649 00:44:08,334 --> 00:44:09,999 Thanks. 650 00:44:13,999 --> 00:44:15,709 Bye. 651 00:44:29,999 --> 00:44:33,998 Mike pillsbury, i don't mean to nag, 652 00:44:33,999 --> 00:44:35,708 but we've really got to go. 653 00:44:35,709 --> 00:44:40,998 I can't just take off on a spaceship for some distant planet. 654 00:44:40,999 --> 00:44:43,166 I freaked out at sleep-away camp. 655 00:44:43,167 --> 00:44:44,999 Sorry. 656 00:44:57,999 --> 00:45:01,998 Mike pillsbury, I don't understand you. 657 00:45:01,999 --> 00:45:03,998 Why are you walking off? 658 00:45:03,999 --> 00:45:05,166 Why don't we need to talk? 659 00:45:05,167 --> 00:45:06,999 That doesn't make any sense. 660 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,998 You send out a galactic-wide call for help 661 00:45:09,999 --> 00:45:11,998 without having thought it through? 662 00:45:11,999 --> 00:45:14,333 I-i-I'm sorry. 663 00:45:14,334 --> 00:45:15,998 Kids feel desperate sometimes. 664 00:45:15,999 --> 00:45:18,998 Then I got some talking dog 665 00:45:18,999 --> 00:45:21,998 and some slime bucket alien lawyer... 666 00:45:21,999 --> 00:45:22,999 I don't even know how this happened. 667 00:45:22,999 --> 00:45:23,999 What lawyer? 668 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,998 He said he was a bom. 669 00:45:25,999 --> 00:45:28,998 The bom! The bom was here already?! 670 00:45:28,999 --> 00:45:30,998 Oh, I was afraid of this. 671 00:45:30,999 --> 00:45:34,998 Mike pillsbury, you have opened up a can of worms! 672 00:45:34,999 --> 00:45:36,998 A can of worms? 673 00:45:36,999 --> 00:45:37,999 When you sent out your call, 674 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,998 you also signaled to the universe 675 00:45:39,999 --> 00:45:41,998 that this planet has advanced 676 00:45:41,999 --> 00:45:43,998 to a certain technological level. 677 00:45:43,999 --> 00:45:44,999 That's good! 678 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,166 That's bad. 679 00:45:46,167 --> 00:45:47,998 Because of what you've done, 680 00:45:47,999 --> 00:45:51,998 earth no longer falls under the intergalactic protection 681 00:45:51,999 --> 00:45:52,999 for primitive life. 682 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,500 Oh, no, no, no. You don't understand. 683 00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:55,998 The whole thing was an accident. 684 00:45:55,999 --> 00:45:56,999 Lightning hit the dish. 685 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,998 I don't even know how it really worked, ok? 686 00:45:58,999 --> 00:45:59,999 But it did. 687 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,999 And no one will believe that you have no control over it. 688 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,998 I can see what your life has become. 689 00:46:05,999 --> 00:46:08,998 You're disgusted, fed-up with people. 690 00:46:08,999 --> 00:46:12,500 I can take you to a place where you can be yourself, 691 00:46:12,501 --> 00:46:14,999 be by yourself. 692 00:46:17,999 --> 00:46:20,501 Maybe that's not such a bad idea. 693 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,998 But first I have to tie up some loose ends. 694 00:46:25,999 --> 00:46:28,333 I'd like to say good-bye to someone, if you don't mind. 695 00:46:28,334 --> 00:46:29,998 The girl? 696 00:46:29,999 --> 00:46:30,999 If you must. 697 00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,999 I'll return when you're ready. 698 00:46:50,876 --> 00:46:53,875 Katelyn! Could I talk to you for a minute? 699 00:46:53,876 --> 00:46:54,999 Katelyn? 700 00:46:59,999 --> 00:47:02,333 I tried calling you to make things right and you were rude. 701 00:47:02,334 --> 00:47:03,999 No, no, no. That wasn't me! 702 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,998 You were rude and disgusting. 703 00:47:05,999 --> 00:47:07,998 I'm sorry, but... 704 00:47:07,999 --> 00:47:08,999 I don't understand how you could come here! 705 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,709 What could you possibly want? 706 00:47:14,334 --> 00:47:15,999 A second chance. 707 00:47:17,334 --> 00:47:18,999 Please? 708 00:47:19,999 --> 00:47:21,998 I'll be down in a second 709 00:47:21,999 --> 00:47:23,999 but, Mike, this is your last chance. 710 00:48:17,999 --> 00:48:19,998 How do you do? 711 00:48:19,999 --> 00:48:22,708 I wonder if you could spare a few moments of your time? 712 00:48:22,709 --> 00:48:25,875 I have an interesting proposition for you. 713 00:48:25,876 --> 00:48:27,998 I would like to be your agent 714 00:48:27,999 --> 00:48:29,998 and represent you for all media 715 00:48:29,999 --> 00:48:31,999 throughout the galaxy, Mike pillsbury. 716 00:48:37,999 --> 00:48:39,708 Ha ha! Excuse me. 717 00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:40,998 Let her go! 718 00:48:40,999 --> 00:48:41,999 What did you do? 719 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,998 Don't worry, she'll be fine. 720 00:48:43,999 --> 00:48:46,998 We need to go somewhere more a... 721 00:48:46,999 --> 00:48:48,999 Private. 722 00:48:54,999 --> 00:48:55,999 Let me go! 723 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,999 Not until you hear my proposition. 724 00:49:00,999 --> 00:49:01,999 Sorry I had to do that. 725 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,875 You know, I just love a captive audience. 726 00:49:04,876 --> 00:49:06,998 Going up! 727 00:49:06,999 --> 00:49:08,998 So, the story is classic. 728 00:49:08,999 --> 00:49:10,998 Young boy, gifted with superior intelligence 729 00:49:10,999 --> 00:49:12,998 but alone in life, 730 00:49:12,999 --> 00:49:13,999 reaches out. 731 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,998 He's carried to another world where he must start anew! 732 00:49:16,999 --> 00:49:19,333 An emigrant of galactic proportions! 733 00:49:19,334 --> 00:49:21,998 Your character will be a unique creature 734 00:49:21,999 --> 00:49:23,998 carving out a new life on a world 735 00:49:23,999 --> 00:49:25,998 light years from his home! 736 00:49:25,999 --> 00:49:27,998 Will he return? Will he find love? 737 00:49:27,999 --> 00:49:30,875 Redemption? All stories must have redemption... 738 00:49:30,876 --> 00:49:30,999 Stop it! 739 00:49:30,999 --> 00:49:31,999 Huh? 740 00:49:33,999 --> 00:49:36,998 All right. What do you want? 741 00:49:36,999 --> 00:49:38,998 If we marry with the proper creative elements, 742 00:49:38,999 --> 00:49:41,998 I think you life has a good chance of being a springboard 743 00:49:41,999 --> 00:49:43,998 for a weekly series! 744 00:49:43,999 --> 00:49:45,998 There's no end to the episodes... 745 00:49:45,999 --> 00:49:46,999 Ahhhhhhh! What are you talking about? 746 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,998 Predicaments, twists and turns, 747 00:49:48,999 --> 00:49:49,999 fish out of water, 748 00:49:49,999 --> 00:49:50,999 boy away from home... 749 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,998 And I love the emotional levels. 750 00:49:52,999 --> 00:49:54,998 Of course, it's not worth anything without emotion. 751 00:49:54,999 --> 00:49:56,875 It's gotta hit here it hurts! 752 00:49:56,876 --> 00:49:57,876 Mike, could we talk... 753 00:49:57,877 --> 00:49:58,998 Will you shut up! 754 00:49:58,999 --> 00:49:59,999 That's what I like to see. 755 00:49:59,999 --> 00:50:00,999 Feisty! 756 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,166 You'll need that for this business, kid. 757 00:50:02,167 --> 00:50:03,998 I happen to have papers... 758 00:50:03,999 --> 00:50:04,999 An option, you know, 759 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,000 to protect my own time and energy... 760 00:50:06,001 --> 00:50:07,998 Ahhh! 761 00:50:07,999 --> 00:50:09,998 Ow! Ow! Not the eyes! Watch it! 762 00:50:09,999 --> 00:50:11,333 Ow! Oooh! Ouch! Ouch! 763 00:50:11,334 --> 00:50:12,875 You're messing everything up! 764 00:50:12,876 --> 00:50:13,998 Will you put me back on the porch? 765 00:50:13,999 --> 00:50:15,998 Stop that or I'll fictionalize! 766 00:50:15,999 --> 00:50:18,998 Ow! 767 00:50:18,999 --> 00:50:21,999 Well. If you feel that way about it! 768 00:50:29,999 --> 00:50:30,999 Mike? 769 00:50:33,999 --> 00:50:34,999 Katelyn! 770 00:50:38,999 --> 00:50:40,167 Katelyn! 771 00:50:44,999 --> 00:50:46,998 Mike, honey, aren't you hungry? 772 00:50:46,999 --> 00:50:48,998 You haven't eaten a thing. 773 00:50:48,999 --> 00:50:50,998 Mom? Dad? 774 00:50:50,999 --> 00:50:53,501 Would you tell me if I were adopted? 775 00:50:54,999 --> 00:50:55,999 Is everything all right? 776 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:57,998 You look stressed out. 777 00:50:57,999 --> 00:50:58,999 Well, would you? 778 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,998 You're not adopted. 779 00:51:00,999 --> 00:51:03,998 Even if you were adopted, we would love you just as much. 780 00:51:03,999 --> 00:51:04,999 If? 781 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,166 You're not adopted. 782 00:51:06,167 --> 00:51:08,166 He's not adopted. 783 00:51:08,167 --> 00:51:09,998 You told me he's adopted. 784 00:51:09,999 --> 00:51:10,999 Jill, stop it. 785 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:12,998 Sure you did. Admit it. 786 00:51:12,999 --> 00:51:14,998 The guy came from another planet and you took him in. 787 00:51:14,999 --> 00:51:16,708 Jill! 788 00:51:16,709 --> 00:51:18,166 Right away they took you to a plastic surgeon 789 00:51:18,167 --> 00:51:20,500 to get rid of your antennae. 790 00:51:20,501 --> 00:51:24,999 Jill, what do we say about empathy? 791 00:51:25,999 --> 00:51:27,500 Ok. 792 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,166 Well, could I have been switched at the hospital? 793 00:51:29,167 --> 00:51:29,999 Sure. 794 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,998 It's entirely possible. 795 00:51:31,999 --> 00:51:33,998 In fact, the day you were born 796 00:51:33,999 --> 00:51:36,998 the hospital was inundated with ugly babies. 797 00:51:36,999 --> 00:51:37,999 Jill. 798 00:51:37,999 --> 00:51:38,501 They couldn't tell one from another. 799 00:51:38,502 --> 00:51:39,998 Jill, please. 800 00:51:39,999 --> 00:51:41,998 He's going through separation anxiety. 801 00:51:41,999 --> 00:51:45,998 The classic adolescent struggle to pull away from one's parents. 802 00:51:45,999 --> 00:51:47,998 Mike, honey... 803 00:51:47,999 --> 00:51:50,998 Why would you think you were switched at birth? 804 00:51:50,999 --> 00:51:53,999 I will be happy to show you your birth certificate. 805 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,998 And, yes, you are a human being. 806 00:51:56,999 --> 00:51:59,709 I wouldn't jump to conclusions. 807 00:52:07,999 --> 00:52:09,998 Hey, Mike! 808 00:52:09,999 --> 00:52:10,999 Mike, it's me, Nick. 809 00:52:10,999 --> 00:52:11,876 Remember me? 810 00:52:11,877 --> 00:52:13,998 Oh, hey! Sorry. 811 00:52:13,999 --> 00:52:15,998 You're a wreck. 812 00:52:15,999 --> 00:52:18,166 Well, it's been hard to sleep with everything that's been going on. 813 00:52:18,167 --> 00:52:19,333 What's been going on? 814 00:52:19,334 --> 00:52:20,998 Aliens. 815 00:52:20,999 --> 00:52:21,999 Oh, aliens. 816 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:23,998 Come on, I told you. 817 00:52:23,999 --> 00:52:24,999 Have I ever told you about my uncle Luther? 818 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,998 He was convinced that a martian 819 00:52:26,999 --> 00:52:28,998 took up residence in the tank of his toilet. 820 00:52:28,999 --> 00:52:29,999 That's entirely possible. 821 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,333 Yeah, but if everyone else looked in the toilet tank 822 00:52:32,334 --> 00:52:33,334 and saw plumbing, 823 00:52:33,335 --> 00:52:34,998 what does that make uncle Luther? 824 00:52:34,999 --> 00:52:36,999 I'm not crazy. 825 00:52:37,999 --> 00:52:39,876 You need a vacation. 826 00:52:47,999 --> 00:52:48,999 Hang in there. 827 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,998 Thanksgiving's not that far away. 828 00:52:51,999 --> 00:52:54,334 By that time, it'll probably be light years. 829 00:52:55,999 --> 00:52:58,399 Have you heard anything I've said about the value of reality? 830 00:53:04,999 --> 00:53:05,999 Cut to the chase! 831 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,998 You need a friend, pillsbury, 832 00:53:07,999 --> 00:53:10,875 to tell you you're making a terrible mistake 833 00:53:10,876 --> 00:53:11,998 in leaving planet earth. 834 00:53:11,999 --> 00:53:15,998 'Cause I'd like to give you the exclusive franchise 835 00:53:15,999 --> 00:53:20,998 to market the one, the only, jarmonica. 836 00:53:20,999 --> 00:53:21,999 What does it do, you may ask? 837 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:23,998 You can slice with it, 838 00:53:23,999 --> 00:53:24,999 you can dice with it, 839 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,998 you can grate any vegetable in the known universe. 840 00:53:27,999 --> 00:53:29,998 Don't let him dice you up. 841 00:53:29,999 --> 00:53:32,708 The point is to dice someone else up. 842 00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:35,998 Make someone pay! 843 00:53:35,999 --> 00:53:38,998 Hey, the show is just beginning! 844 00:53:38,999 --> 00:53:40,500 We'll diversity into merchandising! 845 00:53:40,501 --> 00:53:42,998 You'll be the earth's primary franchisee! 846 00:53:42,999 --> 00:53:44,998 Silk screened t-shirts! 847 00:53:44,999 --> 00:53:46,998 Your face on breakfast cereal boxes! 848 00:53:46,999 --> 00:53:48,999 Wanna go out on a date? 849 00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,998 It would be lots of fun! 850 00:53:50,999 --> 00:53:52,998 It must be contagious! 851 00:53:52,999 --> 00:53:53,999 I've lost my mind. 852 00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,998 Just like you. 853 00:53:55,999 --> 00:53:58,998 We'd have a great time! 854 00:53:58,999 --> 00:54:00,708 Let's cruise Andromeda! 855 00:54:00,709 --> 00:54:02,166 Your signature would ratify our agreement. 856 00:54:02,167 --> 00:54:04,875 Please sign, sign, sign. 857 00:54:04,876 --> 00:54:06,998 You'll be rich beyond your wildest dreams! 858 00:54:06,999 --> 00:54:07,999 Ha ha ha! Huh huh huh! 859 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,998 I can't believe it! 860 00:54:09,999 --> 00:54:11,998 I'm just one big opportunity for you! 861 00:54:11,999 --> 00:54:11,999 Yeah. 862 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,998 Huh? 863 00:54:13,999 --> 00:54:15,998 Well, isn't that more than what you have here on earth? 864 00:54:15,999 --> 00:54:18,998 Now, you said no one cares. 865 00:54:18,999 --> 00:54:20,333 I care. 866 00:54:20,334 --> 00:54:21,998 There's no reason we can't include a clause 867 00:54:21,999 --> 00:54:22,999 calling for biannual audits 868 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:24,875 to protect your interest. 869 00:54:24,876 --> 00:54:27,708 We're not leaving until we get an answer. 870 00:54:27,709 --> 00:54:31,998 Just remember, coming with me would be a big blast! 871 00:54:31,999 --> 00:54:32,999 Don't try to interfere with my client! 872 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,166 Your client? 873 00:54:34,167 --> 00:54:36,998 Pillsbury is my client! 874 00:54:36,999 --> 00:54:38,999 Don't listen to old salad head over there. 875 00:54:39,999 --> 00:54:43,999 I just can't wait to show Mikey the galaxies! 876 00:54:48,999 --> 00:54:50,998 Barnabus, where are you? 877 00:54:50,999 --> 00:54:52,999 Come on, Mike. 878 00:55:08,999 --> 00:55:11,998 Nick: This is insane. You can't do this. 879 00:55:11,999 --> 00:55:13,998 Come on. At least wait until your parents get back. 880 00:55:13,999 --> 00:55:15,998 Come on, Mike. Don't go through with this. 881 00:55:15,999 --> 00:55:18,500 Mike? Mike! 882 00:55:18,501 --> 00:55:20,998 The aliens are right. I have to face this. 883 00:55:20,999 --> 00:55:22,333 I was never meant to live here. 884 00:55:22,334 --> 00:55:24,254 At least in another world, i can make a new life. 885 00:55:27,999 --> 00:55:29,708 I think this is yours. 886 00:55:29,709 --> 00:55:30,998 Thank you. 887 00:55:30,999 --> 00:55:32,998 You drive me crazy! 888 00:55:32,999 --> 00:55:34,998 First, you make more sense than anybody I've ever known in my life, 889 00:55:34,999 --> 00:55:36,708 and then you don't make any sense at all. 890 00:55:36,709 --> 00:55:38,998 I'm sorry. I've had a lot on my mind and... 891 00:55:38,999 --> 00:55:41,999 In a few minutes I'll be leaving for another planet. 892 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,998 Oh. Another planet. 893 00:55:43,999 --> 00:55:44,999 You are too much! 894 00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:46,708 Look. There's a group of aliens in my backyard, 895 00:55:46,709 --> 00:55:49,500 and all I have to do is close a deal and I'm off. 896 00:55:49,501 --> 00:55:51,998 I wish I could tell you he was a lunatic. 897 00:55:51,999 --> 00:55:52,999 What else could he be? 898 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,998 Katelyn... 899 00:55:55,999 --> 00:55:58,999 I'm sorry about the dance. 900 00:56:00,999 --> 00:56:01,999 Well, I'm sorry too. 901 00:56:03,999 --> 00:56:06,875 For a while you gave me a feeling 902 00:56:06,876 --> 00:56:08,000 that no one else ever did. 903 00:56:09,999 --> 00:56:10,999 What was that? 904 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,999 That I belonged here. 905 00:56:17,999 --> 00:56:19,167 Good-bye, Katelyn. 906 00:56:35,999 --> 00:56:37,998 Ok, guys, let's work it out. 907 00:56:37,999 --> 00:56:39,998 Who's it gonna be? 908 00:56:39,999 --> 00:56:41,999 Who's the lucky alien today? 909 00:56:42,999 --> 00:56:44,998 Have a look at that! 910 00:56:44,999 --> 00:56:47,333 I think you'll find it's very well thought out 911 00:56:47,334 --> 00:56:48,998 and covers all the points we discussed. 912 00:56:48,999 --> 00:56:50,998 That's the certificate of authorship! 913 00:56:50,999 --> 00:56:51,999 It's ironclad! 914 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:53,000 Don't worry! 915 00:56:53,001 --> 00:56:54,998 It'll be fun, Mikey! 916 00:56:54,999 --> 00:56:56,998 My parents would just die. 917 00:56:56,999 --> 00:56:58,998 And don't forget, Mike pillsbury, 918 00:56:58,999 --> 00:57:01,998 I can make you and your sidekick there 919 00:57:01,999 --> 00:57:04,998 household names throughout the known galaxies! 920 00:57:04,999 --> 00:57:08,998 And my fee... well, only a small 30% of your earnings. 921 00:57:08,999 --> 00:57:10,998 Ignore this charlatan! 922 00:57:10,999 --> 00:57:13,999 Sign with me and you'll be making the universe a better place. 923 00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,998 Bringing the joys of the one, the only, jarmonica 924 00:57:17,999 --> 00:57:19,998 to billions of beings. 925 00:57:19,999 --> 00:57:21,999 I don't even know what a jarmonica is! 926 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,166 Why, it's your future, Mike pillsbury. 927 00:57:25,167 --> 00:57:27,998 You would be wise, young pillsbury, 928 00:57:27,999 --> 00:57:29,998 to have me broker 929 00:57:29,999 --> 00:57:31,998 any deals you make with those two. 930 00:57:31,999 --> 00:57:33,998 Or anyone else, 931 00:57:33,999 --> 00:57:35,998 for your own protection, of course. 932 00:57:35,999 --> 00:57:36,999 Whatta ya say? 933 00:57:36,999 --> 00:57:37,999 I resent that! 934 00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:42,998 Can't we all just get along? 935 00:57:42,999 --> 00:57:44,998 Mike pillsbury! 936 00:57:44,999 --> 00:57:46,998 Barnabus, where have you been? 937 00:57:46,999 --> 00:57:49,166 A refugee disaster near Alpha centauri. 938 00:57:49,167 --> 00:57:50,998 Very nasty. 939 00:57:50,999 --> 00:57:51,999 A talking dog... 940 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,998 Oh, my gosh! 941 00:57:53,999 --> 00:57:55,998 You must listen to me... 942 00:57:55,999 --> 00:57:59,709 You'll have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. 943 00:58:00,999 --> 00:58:03,333 Mike? Katelyn. 944 00:58:03,334 --> 00:58:05,999 I wanted to make sure you're ok. 945 00:58:13,999 --> 00:58:15,999 A thoad! Run for the hills! 946 00:58:23,999 --> 00:58:25,999 Oh, never mind! 947 00:58:28,999 --> 00:58:29,999 What... 948 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,998 What was that? 949 00:58:31,999 --> 00:58:33,998 Aliens? 950 00:58:33,999 --> 00:58:35,999 From all over the galaxy. 951 00:58:38,999 --> 00:58:40,998 Uncle Luther was right. 952 00:58:40,999 --> 00:58:42,998 We should have listened. 953 00:58:42,999 --> 00:58:43,999 Why did they run? 954 00:58:43,999 --> 00:58:44,999 A thoad! 955 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,333 The worst worm is about to crawl out of the can 956 00:58:47,334 --> 00:58:49,998 you opened up, Mike pillsbury. 957 00:58:49,999 --> 00:58:52,998 He'll find the choicest specimens and snatch them. 958 00:58:52,999 --> 00:58:54,998 And then he'll tell his friends. 959 00:58:54,999 --> 00:58:56,998 More and more thoads will come, 960 00:58:56,999 --> 00:58:59,333 and more and more specimens will be snatched. 961 00:58:59,334 --> 00:59:01,333 It's always my fault! I can't stand it! 962 00:59:01,334 --> 00:59:02,998 I never thought the thing would work! 963 00:59:02,999 --> 00:59:05,998 If the beam was truly a result of an accident 964 00:59:05,999 --> 00:59:08,708 and not superior intelligence, 965 00:59:08,709 --> 00:59:09,999 we could appeal the case. 966 00:59:15,334 --> 00:59:16,998 I think we're out of time! 967 00:59:16,999 --> 00:59:17,999 What do we do? 968 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,999 Leave! Now! 969 00:59:22,501 --> 00:59:25,998 Mike, what is this? It's great! 970 00:59:25,999 --> 00:59:26,876 Jay! 971 00:59:26,877 --> 00:59:27,998 This is so cool! 972 00:59:27,999 --> 00:59:29,999 Jay, come down! 973 00:59:31,999 --> 00:59:32,999 Aaaah! 974 00:59:32,999 --> 00:59:33,999 Jay! 975 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:35,333 Aaaaaaaah! 976 00:59:35,334 --> 00:59:36,999 Oh, gosh! 977 00:59:37,999 --> 00:59:38,501 Jay! 978 00:59:38,501 --> 00:59:39,501 Jay! 979 00:59:48,876 --> 00:59:49,999 Jay! 980 00:59:50,999 --> 00:59:52,999 Jay? 981 00:59:53,999 --> 00:59:55,998 He's gone through the gate. 982 00:59:55,999 --> 00:59:56,999 The thoad has him. 983 00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,998 We've got to do something! 984 00:59:58,999 --> 00:59:59,876 Call the police! 985 00:59:59,877 --> 01:00:00,998 Yeah. Call the police. 986 01:00:00,999 --> 01:00:04,500 Police? The thoad is back on his home planet now. 987 01:00:04,501 --> 01:00:06,998 It would take an army to catch him. 988 01:00:06,999 --> 01:00:10,333 He's completely safe as long as he never leaves his home world. 989 01:00:10,334 --> 01:00:11,998 We can't do anything? 990 01:00:11,999 --> 01:00:13,998 This is just the start. 991 01:00:13,999 --> 01:00:16,998 I don't think he meant to take the little boy. 992 01:00:16,999 --> 01:00:18,998 He'll come back and take more and more 993 01:00:18,999 --> 01:00:21,998 until he finds the perfect specimen for his collection. 994 01:00:21,999 --> 01:00:22,999 The perfect specimen? 995 01:00:27,999 --> 01:00:29,998 I've got an idea. 996 01:00:29,999 --> 01:00:31,998 What are you thinking of? 997 01:00:31,999 --> 01:00:33,709 A plan. 998 01:00:49,999 --> 01:00:52,999 [ Muffled grunting ] 999 01:00:53,999 --> 01:00:55,998 No, schriebner! It's me... Nick. 1000 01:00:55,999 --> 01:00:58,998 What! What do you want, dweeb? 1001 01:00:58,999 --> 01:01:01,998 Mike sent me. He knows you sabotaged the program for the dance. 1002 01:01:01,999 --> 01:01:03,998 He wants to call you out right now. 1003 01:01:03,999 --> 01:01:05,166 You've got to be kidding me. 1004 01:01:05,167 --> 01:01:06,998 No, man. He's waiting. 1005 01:01:06,999 --> 01:01:08,998 Katelyn's with him. 1006 01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:10,999 This ought to be a real joke. 1007 01:01:14,999 --> 01:01:16,998 So, send in the nerds. 1008 01:01:16,999 --> 01:01:18,998 I should prepare you, Scott schriebner, 1009 01:01:18,999 --> 01:01:21,333 for the task that lies ahead. 1010 01:01:21,334 --> 01:01:22,999 You are about to see things 1011 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,999 that will be difficult for your small earthling mind to comprehend. 1012 01:01:26,999 --> 01:01:28,167 What...? 1013 01:01:29,999 --> 01:01:31,998 Wait a minute. 1014 01:01:31,999 --> 01:01:33,166 This is you, pillsbury, isn't it? 1015 01:01:33,167 --> 01:01:34,998 Trying to play some trick on me? 1016 01:01:34,999 --> 01:01:36,998 Is somebody taping this? 1017 01:01:36,999 --> 01:01:38,998 We're not joking. 1018 01:01:38,999 --> 01:01:40,998 Scott, I see you've got barnabus. 1019 01:01:40,999 --> 01:01:41,999 He's here to help us. 1020 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,708 How do you do? 1021 01:01:43,709 --> 01:01:44,999 He looks like a dog but he's not a dog. 1022 01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:45,999 Right. 1023 01:01:45,999 --> 01:01:46,999 We need your help. 1024 01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:48,998 I thought you were calling me out. 1025 01:01:48,999 --> 01:01:49,999 Nick didn't think you were dumb enough to fall for it, 1026 01:01:49,999 --> 01:01:50,999 but I did. 1027 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:52,998 Hey, watch it, pillsbury! 1028 01:01:52,999 --> 01:01:53,999 Hey, can you two get past it? 1029 01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:55,998 Grow up, huh? 1030 01:01:55,999 --> 01:01:57,500 All right, all right. 1031 01:01:57,501 --> 01:01:58,998 What do you want? 1032 01:01:58,999 --> 01:02:00,998 You will help us get through the Stargate 1033 01:02:00,999 --> 01:02:02,998 leading to the thoad planet. 1034 01:02:02,999 --> 01:02:04,998 Where they have my little brother Jay. 1035 01:02:04,999 --> 01:02:06,333 He was abducted by the thoad. 1036 01:02:06,334 --> 01:02:07,500 Thoad? 1037 01:02:07,501 --> 01:02:08,998 Oh, it's an alien. 1038 01:02:08,999 --> 01:02:10,500 Kind of like an intergalactic poacher. 1039 01:02:10,501 --> 01:02:11,998 We need you to... 1040 01:02:11,999 --> 01:02:14,998 We need you to be the bait. 1041 01:02:14,999 --> 01:02:16,998 What?! 1042 01:02:16,999 --> 01:02:17,999 Even if I did believe you, 1043 01:02:17,999 --> 01:02:18,999 why would I do that? 1044 01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:20,998 Because... 1045 01:02:20,999 --> 01:02:23,000 Because you were born to be a hero. 1046 01:02:24,999 --> 01:02:28,500 Because we're on the same football team? 1047 01:02:28,501 --> 01:02:32,998 And because we're on the same side, same school. 1048 01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:33,999 Same town, same planet. 1049 01:02:35,999 --> 01:02:37,998 And because... 1050 01:02:37,999 --> 01:02:40,167 Because... 1051 01:02:42,999 --> 01:02:44,999 Because I dare you! 1052 01:02:46,334 --> 01:02:47,998 You're not scared, are you? 1053 01:02:47,999 --> 01:02:49,500 No way! 1054 01:02:49,501 --> 01:02:50,999 Then let's go. 1055 01:02:52,999 --> 01:02:53,999 Ok. 1056 01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:57,998 Ok, ok. Suppose I play along with this... 1057 01:02:57,999 --> 01:02:59,998 What do I have to do, exactly? 1058 01:02:59,999 --> 01:03:02,998 Just be yourself. 1059 01:03:02,999 --> 01:03:03,999 What does that mean? 1060 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,998 It means just be... 1061 01:03:06,999 --> 01:03:08,501 Perfect. 1062 01:03:09,999 --> 01:03:11,167 No sweat. 1063 01:03:17,999 --> 01:03:20,999 Abducted by aliens? Sure, you wish. 1064 01:03:23,999 --> 01:03:25,998 Uh-oh. 1065 01:03:25,999 --> 01:03:28,998 There's a plan, Scott. Trust me. 1066 01:03:28,999 --> 01:03:29,999 Come on. 1067 01:03:59,999 --> 01:04:01,998 This doesn't look so friendly. 1068 01:04:01,999 --> 01:04:04,998 The thoad senses your presence, Scott. 1069 01:04:04,999 --> 01:04:06,998 It senses your perfection. 1070 01:04:06,999 --> 01:04:09,998 You know, I'm not really all that perfect. 1071 01:04:09,999 --> 01:04:11,998 I mean, compared to pillsbury, maybe, 1072 01:04:11,999 --> 01:04:14,998 but I've got a lot of faults. 1073 01:04:14,999 --> 01:04:15,999 Really. 1074 01:04:18,999 --> 01:04:20,999 Now! Before it's too late! 1075 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:42,998 Barnabus, what is this place? 1076 01:04:42,999 --> 01:04:45,708 The thoad calls it a zoo, 1077 01:04:45,709 --> 01:04:47,999 but I believe you'd call it a prison. 1078 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,998 Is it watching us? 1079 01:05:01,999 --> 01:05:03,998 I expect so. 1080 01:05:03,999 --> 01:05:05,999 We'd better keep going. 1081 01:05:25,999 --> 01:05:28,998 Hey, pillsbury, big joke. 1082 01:05:28,999 --> 01:05:30,998 I'm still here. Nothing's happened. 1083 01:05:30,999 --> 01:05:32,998 I was right. 1084 01:05:32,999 --> 01:05:35,998 Try not to worry. Mike'll get us out of here. 1085 01:05:35,999 --> 01:05:37,998 Out of where? 1086 01:05:37,999 --> 01:05:39,999 Hey, why is it still light out? 1087 01:06:04,999 --> 01:06:06,999 Where am I? 1088 01:06:47,999 --> 01:06:52,875 That appears to be some kind of master control for the cages 1089 01:06:52,876 --> 01:06:53,998 cages? 1090 01:06:53,999 --> 01:06:54,999 Where's Scott? 1091 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:56,998 He is the specimen the thoad needs. 1092 01:06:56,999 --> 01:06:59,998 By now I'm sure he's forever ensconced. 1093 01:06:59,999 --> 01:07:01,875 Ensconced? 1094 01:07:01,876 --> 01:07:03,116 What does that mean in English? 1095 01:07:21,999 --> 01:07:23,999 You guys! Look! 1096 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:38,998 The xgonearks are natives of the solar system betelgeuse. 1097 01:07:38,999 --> 01:07:41,999 Their organic chemistry is silicon based. 1098 01:07:53,999 --> 01:07:55,999 Oh, my gosh! It's... 1099 01:07:57,999 --> 01:08:00,998 The hanzels are natives of the star system pegasi. 1100 01:08:00,999 --> 01:08:03,875 They are a gentle people 1101 01:08:03,876 --> 01:08:05,875 with a long history of peaceful cooperation. 1102 01:08:05,876 --> 01:08:06,998 They're just like in your story, Mike. 1103 01:08:06,999 --> 01:08:08,999 How did you know? 1104 01:08:13,999 --> 01:08:15,876 I don't know. 1105 01:08:18,999 --> 01:08:20,998 Scott... Jay... 1106 01:08:20,999 --> 01:08:23,166 I bet they're in a cage just like this. 1107 01:08:23,167 --> 01:08:24,998 I'm afraid so. 1108 01:08:24,999 --> 01:08:26,998 We'll get you out! I promise! 1109 01:08:26,999 --> 01:08:28,998 Ok? 1110 01:08:28,999 --> 01:08:30,000 Come on. We gotta go. 1111 01:08:35,999 --> 01:08:37,998 I can't believe this! 1112 01:08:37,999 --> 01:08:39,166 Transported to another planet... 1113 01:08:39,167 --> 01:08:41,333 And my worst nightmare... 1114 01:08:41,334 --> 01:08:43,998 Stuck in pillsbury's backyard forever. 1115 01:08:43,999 --> 01:08:45,998 I don't know how to get out. 1116 01:08:45,999 --> 01:08:47,998 Try not to worry so much. 1117 01:08:47,999 --> 01:08:49,998 Mike'll find a way to get us out. 1118 01:08:49,999 --> 01:08:51,998 We're depending on pillsbury? 1119 01:08:51,999 --> 01:08:53,999 How did I get myself into this? 1120 01:08:57,999 --> 01:08:59,998 Have you ever heard Mike's story 1121 01:08:59,999 --> 01:09:03,708 of a planet where people are called hanzels? 1122 01:09:03,709 --> 01:09:04,999 Let's try this way. 1123 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:14,000 Guys! 1124 01:09:15,999 --> 01:09:17,998 Scott! 1125 01:09:17,999 --> 01:09:19,999 Jay! Scott! Jay! 1126 01:09:22,334 --> 01:09:23,998 This is really creepy. 1127 01:09:23,999 --> 01:09:25,875 They can't hear us! 1128 01:09:25,876 --> 01:09:28,998 At least Jay isn't alone, so he won't be so afraid. 1129 01:09:28,999 --> 01:09:29,999 We must act quickly! 1130 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,998 Maybe I could break this glass! 1131 01:09:31,999 --> 01:09:34,333 Maybe we don't need to break it. 1132 01:09:34,334 --> 01:09:35,998 Maybe there's a way to open it instead. 1133 01:09:35,999 --> 01:09:38,333 The thoad must have a key. 1134 01:09:38,334 --> 01:09:39,999 Very astute. 1135 01:09:44,501 --> 01:09:47,998 My specimens need my care and protection. 1136 01:09:47,999 --> 01:09:50,998 Security is all important. 1137 01:09:50,999 --> 01:09:52,998 You're the thoad? 1138 01:09:52,999 --> 01:09:53,999 I am indeed. 1139 01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:58,500 You were expecting someone much more... 1140 01:09:58,501 --> 01:09:59,998 Intimidating? 1141 01:09:59,999 --> 01:10:03,998 I assure you our reputation is wholely undeserved. 1142 01:10:03,999 --> 01:10:06,998 I only came to help the pillsbury, 1143 01:10:06,999 --> 01:10:07,999 as he requested. 1144 01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:10,998 No. You took Jay! He's only a little kid! 1145 01:10:10,999 --> 01:10:12,998 I did indeed. 1146 01:10:12,999 --> 01:10:14,998 And I seem to be in possession of still another young human. 1147 01:10:14,999 --> 01:10:17,166 Oh, but don't worry. 1148 01:10:17,167 --> 01:10:18,998 They will be quite pampered. 1149 01:10:18,999 --> 01:10:22,875 And their lifespans will be infinitely longer here 1150 01:10:22,876 --> 01:10:25,708 than they would be on dangerous old earth. 1151 01:10:25,709 --> 01:10:28,875 After all, this is a... 1152 01:10:28,876 --> 01:10:30,998 Sanctuary, not a prison. 1153 01:10:30,999 --> 01:10:33,708 They deserve to be back home with their own kind! 1154 01:10:33,709 --> 01:10:37,333 You, of all people, should talk, pillsbury. 1155 01:10:37,334 --> 01:10:39,998 At any rate, I'll soon have enough specimens 1156 01:10:39,999 --> 01:10:41,998 to make sure that they will never be lonely. 1157 01:10:41,999 --> 01:10:43,875 You have no right... 1158 01:10:43,876 --> 01:10:45,998 I have all the rights I need! 1159 01:10:45,999 --> 01:10:48,998 You gave them to me, pillsbury! 1160 01:10:48,999 --> 01:10:52,998 But, enough talk. 1161 01:10:52,999 --> 01:10:56,999 I want to thank you for becoming part of my collection. 1162 01:10:58,167 --> 01:11:02,998 You will be my very first puppian. 1163 01:11:02,999 --> 01:11:05,999 And you, miss... 1164 01:11:07,709 --> 01:11:08,999 Aaaah! 1165 01:11:10,999 --> 01:11:12,998 The plan, Mike! What's the plan? 1166 01:11:12,999 --> 01:11:13,999 The plan was to get us in here. 1167 01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:15,160 Now the plan is to improvise! 1168 01:11:26,999 --> 01:11:29,998 So the little baby hanzel got adopted by earth parents. 1169 01:11:29,999 --> 01:11:32,998 He was smart. Really smart. 1170 01:11:32,999 --> 01:11:34,998 But he never felt like he belonged. 1171 01:11:34,999 --> 01:11:37,998 He never felt that he had any friends. 1172 01:11:37,999 --> 01:11:41,998 Kinda sounds like Mike made it up about himself, doesn't it? 1173 01:11:41,999 --> 01:11:43,999 Yeah... kinda. 1174 01:11:49,999 --> 01:11:50,999 Here! In here! 1175 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:52,000 Hurry up, guys! Go! 1176 01:12:20,999 --> 01:12:24,998 I know you're in here. 1177 01:12:24,999 --> 01:12:26,998 Come on out! 1178 01:12:26,999 --> 01:12:30,501 Come on out, pillsbury! 1179 01:12:35,999 --> 01:12:38,334 Maybe we could discuss this? 1180 01:12:46,999 --> 01:12:48,998 Where are the others? 1181 01:12:48,999 --> 01:12:50,999 Actually, right behind you. 1182 01:12:54,999 --> 01:12:55,999 Aaaah! 1183 01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:57,875 It won't hold him long! 1184 01:12:57,876 --> 01:12:58,998 The key! 1185 01:12:58,999 --> 01:13:00,876 Yes! Just get the key! 1186 01:13:03,999 --> 01:13:04,999 Guys, I got the key! 1187 01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:06,999 Come on! 1188 01:13:15,999 --> 01:13:17,998 Mike, what about Scott and Jay? 1189 01:13:17,999 --> 01:13:19,039 I've got to do this first. 1190 01:13:20,999 --> 01:13:22,998 There's got to be a place for this key. 1191 01:13:22,999 --> 01:13:24,999 Maybe the cages open from the back. 1192 01:13:50,334 --> 01:13:52,999 I know how this works. 1193 01:14:14,999 --> 01:14:17,334 Go on. You're free. 1194 01:14:24,999 --> 01:14:26,999 Come on. 1195 01:14:31,999 --> 01:14:33,999 Here it is! 1196 01:14:41,999 --> 01:14:44,999 Hey, Jay! Are you guys ok? 1197 01:14:45,999 --> 01:14:48,166 Wait. Barnabus, how do we get back? 1198 01:14:48,167 --> 01:14:50,999 We must go back through the thoad gate. 1199 01:15:03,999 --> 01:15:05,876 I think it's this way! 1200 01:15:11,167 --> 01:15:13,875 Mike? Mike, why are you stopping? 1201 01:15:13,876 --> 01:15:15,167 Come on! 1202 01:15:17,999 --> 01:15:19,876 There's one more thing I have to do. 1203 01:15:45,999 --> 01:15:46,999 Where's Mike? 1204 01:15:46,999 --> 01:15:47,999 And barnabus? 1205 01:15:51,876 --> 01:15:52,998 Wasn't he right behind us? 1206 01:15:52,999 --> 01:15:54,079 What if something happened? 1207 01:15:59,999 --> 01:16:02,998 Mike! Hey, are you ok? 1208 01:16:02,999 --> 01:16:04,999 We did it! 1209 01:16:07,999 --> 01:16:09,998 Wait! Wait! 1210 01:16:09,999 --> 01:16:12,166 Why isn't the Stargate disappearing? 1211 01:16:12,167 --> 01:16:14,998 Oh, no! You can't close a Stargate if... 1212 01:16:14,999 --> 01:16:17,708 If there's someone or something still traveling in it, right? 1213 01:16:17,709 --> 01:16:18,998 Too late, I'm afraid. 1214 01:16:18,999 --> 01:16:21,998 Hell hath no fury like a thoad scorned! 1215 01:16:21,999 --> 01:16:25,998 I'd better contact the police. 1216 01:16:25,999 --> 01:16:27,998 [ Beeping ] 1217 01:16:27,999 --> 01:16:30,998 [ Busy signal ] 1218 01:16:30,999 --> 01:16:32,875 Come on, come on. 1219 01:16:32,876 --> 01:16:33,998 What's wrong? 1220 01:16:33,999 --> 01:16:35,500 The line is busy! 1221 01:16:35,501 --> 01:16:36,998 It's a dangerous universe! 1222 01:16:36,999 --> 01:16:38,998 I'll keep trying. 1223 01:16:38,999 --> 01:16:39,999 Mike, you stall him! 1224 01:16:41,999 --> 01:16:42,999 Stall him? 1225 01:16:48,999 --> 01:16:51,998 You've freed my entire collection! 1226 01:16:51,999 --> 01:16:53,998 And now you're going to pay! 1227 01:16:53,999 --> 01:16:55,998 We have to hold out 1228 01:16:55,999 --> 01:16:57,999 until the intergalactic police arrive! 1229 01:17:00,167 --> 01:17:01,999 Excuse me, Mr. thoad, sir. 1230 01:17:02,999 --> 01:17:04,166 Hey! Hey! Hey! 1231 01:17:04,167 --> 01:17:05,998 You know, you're a big creep 1232 01:17:05,999 --> 01:17:06,999 walking around scaring little kids. 1233 01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:09,708 Well, I have news for you, sir... 1234 01:17:09,709 --> 01:17:11,000 On this planet, we eat frog legs! 1235 01:17:13,999 --> 01:17:15,000 Aaaah! 1236 01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:24,998 Hang on! Hang on! 1237 01:17:24,999 --> 01:17:25,999 Don't let him go! 1238 01:17:30,999 --> 01:17:32,999 Hold on, Mike! 1239 01:17:37,999 --> 01:17:39,501 Barnabus, help us! 1240 01:17:41,999 --> 01:17:44,999 [ Barking ] 1241 01:17:48,999 --> 01:17:50,167 [ Siren ] 1242 01:17:56,999 --> 01:17:58,998 All right, thoad, hold it right there! 1243 01:17:58,999 --> 01:17:59,999 Come where I can see you! 1244 01:18:05,999 --> 01:18:07,998 Just in time, officer! 1245 01:18:07,999 --> 01:18:09,998 I've got hundreds of warrants against you, buddy! 1246 01:18:09,999 --> 01:18:10,999 Come on! Move! 1247 01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:12,998 Is he ok? 1248 01:18:12,999 --> 01:18:13,999 I think so. 1249 01:18:18,999 --> 01:18:21,998 Barnabus, I didn't know you could bark. 1250 01:18:21,999 --> 01:18:24,708 I didn't know, either. 1251 01:18:24,709 --> 01:18:27,998 Sometimes you have to act a little primitive 1252 01:18:27,999 --> 01:18:29,166 if it will help a friend. 1253 01:18:29,167 --> 01:18:30,998 Thanks, barnabus. 1254 01:18:30,999 --> 01:18:32,708 Don't mention it. 1255 01:18:32,709 --> 01:18:35,167 Don't move! And put your appendages behind your back! 1256 01:18:37,167 --> 01:18:38,998 Don't say a word. 1257 01:18:38,999 --> 01:18:39,999 Admit nothing. 1258 01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,998 Did he read you your rights? 1259 01:18:41,999 --> 01:18:42,999 Was he too rough? 1260 01:18:42,999 --> 01:18:43,999 Not rough enough? 1261 01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:46,333 Tell me things. Tell me. 1262 01:18:46,334 --> 01:18:48,998 [ Whistle ] 1263 01:18:48,999 --> 01:18:50,998 All right, boys and girls, 1264 01:18:50,999 --> 01:18:51,999 time for an explanation, 1265 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:53,500 and it better be good! 1266 01:18:53,501 --> 01:18:54,998 It will, officer. 1267 01:18:54,999 --> 01:18:56,999 Of that, I can assure you. 1268 01:18:58,999 --> 01:19:00,998 Hey, Mike. 1269 01:19:00,999 --> 01:19:02,999 We really do make a great team. 1270 01:19:09,501 --> 01:19:11,500 Huh, Mike? 1271 01:19:11,501 --> 01:19:12,998 Yeah. 1272 01:19:12,999 --> 01:19:15,501 One of you care to tell me what happened here? 1273 01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:30,998 Barnabus! 1274 01:19:30,999 --> 01:19:32,998 Hello, Mike. 1275 01:19:32,999 --> 01:19:34,998 I just stopped by to let you know 1276 01:19:34,999 --> 01:19:36,998 the federation handed down its ruling. 1277 01:19:36,999 --> 01:19:39,998 Your initial transmission is being deemed accidental, 1278 01:19:39,999 --> 01:19:41,998 and earth is classified again 1279 01:19:41,999 --> 01:19:44,875 as a protected planet under federation statutes. 1280 01:19:44,876 --> 01:19:45,334 That's a relief. 1281 01:19:45,335 --> 01:19:46,998 I guess the world is saved. 1282 01:19:46,999 --> 01:19:48,999 And the thoad is been sentenced to serve two eons 1283 01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:50,998 in a federation penitentiary. 1284 01:19:50,999 --> 01:19:53,998 His hostages have been returned to their home planets. 1285 01:19:53,999 --> 01:19:55,998 And the hanzel? 1286 01:19:55,999 --> 01:19:58,998 He's safe and grateful for all you did. 1287 01:19:58,999 --> 01:20:00,998 All's well that ends well, 1288 01:20:00,999 --> 01:20:02,333 as the saying goes. 1289 01:20:02,334 --> 01:20:04,998 I don't know what to say. 1290 01:20:04,999 --> 01:20:08,998 Thank you for everything, barnabus. 1291 01:20:08,999 --> 01:20:12,998 Well, there is one bit of unfinished business. 1292 01:20:12,999 --> 01:20:13,999 You. 1293 01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:15,998 It's not too late for you to come home with me. 1294 01:20:15,999 --> 01:20:16,999 To your planet? 1295 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,998 I know you would be happy. 1296 01:20:18,999 --> 01:20:20,709 So would I. 1297 01:20:24,999 --> 01:20:26,500 I don't think so, barnabus. 1298 01:20:26,501 --> 01:20:28,998 Earth is my home, 1299 01:20:28,999 --> 01:20:30,998 and even though it doesn't always feel like it, 1300 01:20:30,999 --> 01:20:34,708 I guess it's where I belong. 1301 01:20:34,709 --> 01:20:36,875 Many here who feel out of place 1302 01:20:36,876 --> 01:20:37,998 point their heads down. 1303 01:20:37,999 --> 01:20:40,998 But not you, Mike pillsbury. 1304 01:20:40,999 --> 01:20:42,998 You look to the stars. 1305 01:20:42,999 --> 01:20:44,875 Remarkable. 1306 01:20:44,876 --> 01:20:48,999 If you wish, you may scratch me behind the ears. 1307 01:20:54,999 --> 01:20:57,167 Hmmm. Mmmm. 1308 01:21:00,501 --> 01:21:02,998 Yeah. That was delightful. 1309 01:21:02,999 --> 01:21:03,999 You know, Mike pillsbury, 1310 01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:06,998 you've shown me there's something to be said 1311 01:21:06,999 --> 01:21:08,998 for the right kind of personal contact. 1312 01:21:08,999 --> 01:21:12,333 I will attempt to convince my people. 1313 01:21:12,334 --> 01:21:13,999 Farewell. 1314 01:21:15,999 --> 01:21:17,167 Good-bye, barnabus. 1315 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,999 I'll never forget you. 1316 01:21:26,709 --> 01:21:28,333 Barnabus! 1317 01:21:28,334 --> 01:21:30,999 Barnabus, I... 1318 01:21:36,999 --> 01:21:37,999 Thanks. 1319 01:21:46,999 --> 01:21:50,998 Pillsbury, let's get out there and play some football! 1320 01:21:50,999 --> 01:21:51,999 Give it everything you've got! 1321 01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:54,998 That's my boy! 1322 01:21:54,999 --> 01:21:56,000 I guess I am. 1323 01:22:15,501 --> 01:22:17,501 Pillsbury, why do you stay on the team? 1324 01:22:19,999 --> 01:22:22,998 Well, believe it or not, schriebner, 1325 01:22:22,999 --> 01:22:24,500 it's where I belong. 1326 01:22:24,501 --> 01:22:26,998 You know what? I'm gonna prove it to you. 1327 01:22:26,999 --> 01:22:27,999 Dream on, pillsbury. 1328 01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:29,998 Dream on. 1329 01:22:29,999 --> 01:22:31,998 I will dream on, schriebner. 1330 01:22:31,999 --> 01:22:33,998 You bet I will. 1331 01:22:33,999 --> 01:22:35,998 Pillsbury, pillsbury, he's our man! 1332 01:22:35,999 --> 01:22:37,998 If he can't do it, no one can! 1333 01:22:37,999 --> 01:22:40,166 Go, Mike! 1334 01:22:40,167 --> 01:22:41,999 Go, Mike! 90584