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1
00:00:05,796 --> 00:00:07,798
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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(THUNDER RUMBLING)
3
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(RAIN PATTERING)
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(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
5
00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:03,372
Okay, let's see what we got.
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(ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)
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00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:09,503
Oh, that's impossible.
8
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I'm gonna be sick.
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FISHERMAN: All of them...
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00:02:12,923 --> 00:02:14,383
FISHERMAN 2: With the Joker's face.
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FISHERMAN 3: It looks just like him.
FISHERMAN 1: It can't be.
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FISHERMAN 2: Call the police.
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He's made his move.
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Dining in tonight, sir?
15
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The dissection tray, please, Alfred.
16
00:03:08,437 --> 00:03:11,232
ALFRED: Any idea
what our happy friend is up to now?
17
00:03:12,858 --> 00:03:15,695
Normal criminals usually
have logical motives.
18
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:20,074
But the Joker's insane schemes
make sense to him alone.
19
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,246
(PHONE RINGING)
20
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,337
(CLEARING THROAT)
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Look alive, wage slaves.
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Presenting that caliph of clowns,
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that mogul of mountebanks,
24
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the one and only Joker!
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00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,891
(CHUCKLING)
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00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,395
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
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00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:51,939
Great Scott.
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Actually, I'm Irish.
29
00:03:54,775 --> 00:03:58,571
Good morning, Mr. Francis.
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Please allow me to
introduce my associates.
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Miss Quinn.
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(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
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And Messrs, uh... Oh.
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Their names escape me
for the moment. No matter.
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00:04:10,499 --> 00:04:14,545
We gentlemen of business
have arrangements to discuss.
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00:04:14,962 --> 00:04:17,089
Uh, arrangements?
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00:04:17,965 --> 00:04:19,717
For my fish, of course.
38
00:04:19,925 --> 00:04:23,554
This has all been worked out
far in advance, Francis.
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You are merely the last tiny cog
in my grand design.
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00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:30,436
So don't speak to me again, okay?
41
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,939
Now, what is everyone
in town talking about?
42
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,734
Uh, your fish?
43
00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:38,903
I told you not to speak!
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00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:45,576
(SNIFFING) Ugh, fish. Stinker-roonie.
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00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:49,371
(COUGHING)
46
00:04:49,955 --> 00:04:51,582
All better.
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00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:55,878
As I was saying, since every fish
in Gotham now bears my famous
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00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:57,755
and frankly fabulous face,
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00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,092
I should be getting a profit
from every fish product sold.
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00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:05,554
Let's say, a nickel per fish sandwich,
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00:05:05,679 --> 00:05:09,475
fifty cents for sardines.
Millions of dollars a day
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00:05:09,558 --> 00:05:13,479
to finance my happily
hedonistic lifestyle.
53
00:05:13,562 --> 00:05:17,483
So which of your tedious copyright forms
do I fill out first?
54
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,401
You may speak now.
55
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,279
(NERVOUSLY) No one can copyright fish.
56
00:05:22,404 --> 00:05:24,615
They're a natural resource.
57
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But they share my unique face.
58
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:29,578
Colonel what's-his-name has chickens,
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00:05:29,703 --> 00:05:31,705
and they don't even have mustaches.
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00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:34,250
I can't help it. It's the law!
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00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:37,461
Oh. Trying to cheat the Joker, are you?
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00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:40,381
Well, we'll see who has the last laugh.
63
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:45,052
You have until midnight
to change your mind, Francis.
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00:05:45,177 --> 00:05:47,763
Or you'll be the poorest fish of all.
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00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,391
(CHUCKLING)
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00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,728
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
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00:05:57,147 --> 00:05:58,774
Buh-bye!
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00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,318
He's crazy.
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00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:06,448
NEWSREADER: Coming up next,
Marla Benson has a special report
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00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,659
on the smiling fish epidemic.
71
00:06:08,784 --> 00:06:11,579
How safe are Gotham's waters?
72
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,664
Well, he's not out to poison people.
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00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:17,084
This diluted toxin only affects fish.
74
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,045
Maybe he's trying to
make us all die from disgust.
75
00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:21,881
(WACKY TUNE PLAYING ON TV)
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00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,360
HARLEY: (SINGING) They're finnyand funny
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And, oh, so delish
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00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,430
They're joyful and jolly Joker Fish
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00:06:30,931 --> 00:06:34,184
JOKER: Say, Mom, wondering what to
feed the family tonight?
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00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,604
What'll I feed the family tonight?
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00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:40,566
(GROWLING LIKE A PIRATE)
Try me famous Joker Fish.
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00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,445
There's Smiling Smelt, Giggling Grouper,
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and Happy Haddock.
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00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,741
This could cause a stampede to pork.
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00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,951
Yummy, yum-yum.
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00:06:51,785 --> 00:06:52,828
Eat it.
87
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:58,042
Uh, Mr. J, I have this
little problem with fish.
88
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,962
Yummy, yum-yum.
89
00:07:02,546 --> 00:07:05,215
Yes, friends, that's Joker Fish.
90
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,508
(HARLEY RETCHING)
91
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:09,637
Tasty, tempting, and of course...
92
00:07:10,554 --> 00:07:13,432
- Naturally low in cholesterol.
- Naturally low in cholesterol.
93
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:16,101
Coming to your local store.
94
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:20,356
Just as soon as that nasty
old Mr. G. Carl Francis
95
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:23,233
decides to give me
my legal cut of the profits.
96
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,777
Change the channel.
97
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:27,279
(JOKER GIGGLING)
98
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:28,656
It's on every station.
99
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,533
Get a trace on that signal. Now!
100
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,995
I hope you've changed
your mind, Mr. Francis,
101
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:38,082
because I haven't changed mine.
102
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,792
(CACKLING)
103
00:07:42,419 --> 00:07:44,004
(CLOCK TICKING)
104
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:49,051
Relax, Mr. Francis. I've got men
posted at every window and door.
105
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:50,803
Nobody's sneaking in here tonight.
106
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,097
If I got in this easily...
107
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,017
So will the Joker.
108
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,478
Hey, hey, this is police business.
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00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:01,230
Haul your bat butt out of here.
110
00:08:01,313 --> 00:08:02,564
Hold it, Detective.
111
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,484
No one knows the Joker's
methods better than Batman.
112
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,860
He stays.
113
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:10,197
Glory-hogging, long-underwear geek.
114
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,324
Uh, Batman,
115
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:14,201
why is this happening to me?
116
00:08:14,284 --> 00:08:17,079
I've never done anything to this Joker.
117
00:08:17,454 --> 00:08:20,791
I'm just a paper pusher.
I can't change the laws.
118
00:08:20,874 --> 00:08:22,042
I'm harmless.
119
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:25,838
And in his sick mind,
that's the joke, Mr. Francis.
120
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,859
- Feeling all right?
- Oh, sure.
121
00:08:46,942 --> 00:08:50,195
It's just that
everything's been so crazy today.
122
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,656
I haven't even had time
to rinse off that gunk
123
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:54,992
the Joker's girl squirted on me.
124
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,828
(YELLING) Get this man
to a hospital, now!
125
00:08:57,911 --> 00:08:58,954
What?
126
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,082
(CLOCK CHIMING)
127
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,672
- OFFICER: Watch out!
- (OFFICERS EXCLAIMING)
128
00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:12,634
(GAS HISSING)
129
00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:15,554
(ALL COUGHING)
130
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(OFFICERS COUGHING)
131
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(COUGHING)
132
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,864
(GIGGLING)
133
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:41,663
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
134
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:51,048
He'll be all right
once the antivenom kicks in.
135
00:09:51,131 --> 00:09:54,218
I don't get it. We all breathed the gas,
and we're not smiling.
136
00:09:54,301 --> 00:09:55,761
He didn't want us.
137
00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:58,472
That gas is one part
of a binary compound.
138
00:09:58,555 --> 00:10:00,849
The Joker exposed Francis
to the other part
139
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,392
when he threatened him this morning.
140
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:03,477
This just in.
141
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,687
Former Copyright Director
G. Carl Francis
142
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:09,066
will be taking an extended vacation.
143
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:13,153
Looks like he's havingmore fun already. (LAUGHING)
144
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,780
But I'm not happy.
145
00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:18,700
If I don't get legal
claim to my fish by 3:00 a.m.
146
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:23,622
the number two bureaucrat,
Thomas Jackson, will feel my wrath.
147
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,750
And now, Batman,
because I know you're watching,
148
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,294
here's a message from our sponsor.
149
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,589
(SINGING) They're finny and funnyAnd, oh, so delish
150
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,677
(HELICOPTER HOVERING)
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00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,971
All units, keep your eyes open
for anything.
152
00:10:41,014 --> 00:10:43,016
(INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
153
00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:55,088
BULLOCK: I'd like to go on record
as saying
154
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:58,073
this Batman business
is the lamest idea and I...
155
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,449
Duly noted, Lieutenant.
156
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,327
But we're going to try it his way
to protect Mr. Jackson.
157
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,173
Nearly 3:00 a.m.
158
00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:15,966
And not a cackle from that hyena.
159
00:11:16,049 --> 00:11:17,676
We must've scared him off.
160
00:11:18,093 --> 00:11:19,928
- (BOTH GASPING)
- What's that?
161
00:11:21,805 --> 00:11:22,890
JACKSON: Just my cat.
162
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:26,977
BATMAN: A Joker Fish!
163
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:31,356
(CAT SNICKERING)
164
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,858
It's affecting it. Look out!
165
00:11:35,819 --> 00:11:37,613
(CAT SCREECHING)
166
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,075
(CHUCKLING)
167
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,078
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
168
00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:50,751
(LAUGHING SLOWS)
169
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,718
BATMAN: Even drugged, the cat went
straight for its master.
170
00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:02,763
(SNICKERING)
171
00:12:02,846 --> 00:12:04,431
(HISSING)
172
00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:08,852
(CAT MEOWING)
173
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,771
BULLOCK: Oh, this is
just dandy, Commish.
174
00:12:10,854 --> 00:12:12,481
Your pet bat's playing dress up
175
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:15,317
while the Joker's popping off
pencil pushers right and left.
176
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,253
Well, I ain't sticking around
to see who's next.
177
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:19,029
I got my own methods.
178
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:20,239
GORDON: Bullock!
179
00:12:22,991 --> 00:12:25,327
Commissioner, have a look at this fish.
180
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,996
It's a Japanese tang,
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00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,582
not native to Gotham's cold waters.
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00:12:30,707 --> 00:12:32,167
GORDON: So where did it come from?
183
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,221
Freeze, copper!
184
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,598
I got you covered, see?
185
00:13:28,765 --> 00:13:31,810
Well, if it ain't laughing boy's
little hench-wench.
186
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,437
You're outgunned, sugar.
187
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:34,813
Do tell.
188
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,816
(EXCLAIMS) What?
189
00:13:38,775 --> 00:13:41,069
- (BLOWS)
- (SCREAMING)
190
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,904
Ooh, look at what I caught.
191
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,407
Kind of runty, though.
192
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:49,411
I'm gonna have to throw it back.
193
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,331
(LAUGHING)
194
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,667
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
195
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,052
JOKER: You know, Bullock,
you may be a lousy cop,
196
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,763
but you make a terrific worm.
197
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:09,973
(LAUGHING)
198
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,436
You won't get away with this.
199
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:20,901
He's right, you know.
200
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,528
You're kidding.
201
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,447
(SCREAMING)
202
00:14:28,575 --> 00:14:31,203
If this lunchmeat
figured out where we are,
203
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,996
Batman won't be far behind.
204
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,166
And why spoil my sharkie's appetite
205
00:14:36,249 --> 00:14:38,460
when I can feed him bigger fish?
206
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:41,129
Hmm? (CHUCKLING)
207
00:14:41,588 --> 00:14:44,674
Ugh! Again with the fish. I hate fish.
208
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:50,389
- Uh, no offense, Mr. J.
- Poor Harley.
209
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:53,642
This caper's been kind of
rough on you, hasn't it?
210
00:14:53,725 --> 00:14:55,310
Uh-huh.
211
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,603
Cheer up.
212
00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:59,439
You can be my very own little mermaid.
213
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,024
Ooh.
214
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,528
(LAUGHING)
215
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,114
HARLEY: You're really sick,
you know that, boss?
216
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:08,740
Mmm-hmm.
217
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,660
- (JINGLE PLAYING)
- Huh?
218
00:15:11,743 --> 00:15:13,245
(FARTING)
219
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,519
JOKER: Now, this fella here
220
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,732
came with his own grin.
221
00:16:25,108 --> 00:16:26,693
See the resemblance?
222
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,654
And check out my catch of the day.
223
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:34,493
(MUFFLED YELLING)
224
00:16:34,784 --> 00:16:35,952
Bullock.
225
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,497
(SPITS)
226
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,457
I didn't need no bat computer to tell me
227
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,667
that weird lookin' minnow
came from an aquarium.
228
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,963
Yes, well, this is all
tremendously boring.
229
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,798
'Course, I can always amuse myself
230
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,593
watching old Harv
give my shark indigestion.
231
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,053
Yeah.
232
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,478
Wait!
233
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,397
Let him go.
234
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,774
I'm the one you're after.
235
00:17:06,399 --> 00:17:09,277
Gee, and let my little guppy go hungry?
236
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,029
I don't know.
237
00:17:11,112 --> 00:17:14,407
What do you think we can do about that?
238
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,666
You're right, Harley.
239
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,501
Fish are disgusting.
240
00:17:24,584 --> 00:17:27,212
I think I'll start using
my toxin on cattle.
241
00:17:27,462 --> 00:17:29,422
"Joker Burgers." Ha!
242
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,883
Talk about a Happy Meal.
243
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:35,011
(LAUGHING)
244
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:40,350
(SIGHING) You never could take a joke.
245
00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:49,859
He doesn't stand a chance
against that monster!
246
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:52,612
- Yeah. Catch.
- Hey!
247
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:54,072
(JOKER LAUGHING)
248
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,003
(GASPING)
249
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,046
(VOCALIZING MERRILY)
250
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,214
(CHUCKLING)
251
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,050
Hey. Hey!
252
00:18:16,511 --> 00:18:18,013
(POUNDING ON GLASS)
253
00:18:21,349 --> 00:18:22,559
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
254
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,482
(GRUNTING)
255
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,699
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
256
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,328
Oh! Ah! (LAUGHING)
257
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:50,795
(GRUNTING)
258
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:57,927
(GROANING)
259
00:19:05,852 --> 00:19:07,145
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
260
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:11,900
(ALL SCREAMING)
261
00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:13,652
Oopsie.
262
00:19:14,819 --> 00:19:16,905
(LAUGHING)
263
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,534
Huh?
264
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,092
(COUGHING)
265
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:38,426
You okay?
266
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,430
Just give him one for me, will you?
267
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,229
(JOKER LAUGHING)
268
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,027
Huh? (GROWLING)
269
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,245
(GROANING)
270
00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:08,540
Meanwhile, back at the wrench.
271
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,668
Since my side-splitters
don't tickle you,
272
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,670
how about a skull-splitter?
273
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,135
Oh!
274
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,847
(EXCLAIMING)
275
00:20:26,015 --> 00:20:28,935
There's no place left to go, Joker.
276
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,270
(GROWLING)
277
00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:31,855
(EXCLAIMING INDIFFERENTLY)
278
00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:35,483
(JOKER LAUGHING)
279
00:20:39,612 --> 00:20:42,157
See, Batsy, I think of everything.
280
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,284
(LAUGHING)
281
00:20:44,367 --> 00:20:46,244
Huh? (SCREAMING)
282
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:05,054
HARLEY: (SNIFFING) Oh, my poor,
poor pudding.
283
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:10,351
Come on, he was a demented,
abusive, psychotic maniac.
284
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,228
Yeah.
285
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,647
I'm really gonna miss him.
286
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:17,317
(SOBBING)
287
00:21:21,988 --> 00:21:23,615
GORDON: Do you think he's gone for good?
288
00:21:23,698 --> 00:21:25,200
Believe me, Jim,
289
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:26,576
I wish it were true.
290
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:29,579
But deep inside, I doubt it.
291
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,476
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
19997
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