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1
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:08,008
Hey, the flip-house looks great.
2
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,313
Are you cleaning?
3
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:12,099
No, I'm robbing the place.
Yes, I'm cleaning.
4
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:14,840
Andi starts work with us
tomorrow,
5
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,818
and you know what I realized
at 2:00 this morning?
6
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,453
I didn't think this through.
7
00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,324
Well, I don't think
anything through
8
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:21,847
and I sleep like a baby.
9
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,025
She's gonna be here
all the time.
10
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,636
So I came up with a solution,
I'm wife-proofing.
11
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:32,249
It's like baby-proofing,
but so you don't end up crying.
12
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:35,644
Exactly. Hey, like,
look at our fridge?
13
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,341
It's full of work beers.
14
00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:41,128
Wives don't understand
the concept of work beers.
15
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,695
At NASA, they had an open bar
in mission control
16
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,871
and they still landed
on the moon.
17
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,004
I don't think they had that.
18
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,268
I know space history,
that's my area, okay?
19
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:56,317
I've got to get rid of these
Sausage McMuffin wrappers.
20
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,145
Andi sees me have breakfast
at home,
21
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:01,496
she doesn't need to know
I have second breakfast here.
22
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:05,587
Andi won't be mad; it's a second
breakfast, not a second wife.
23
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,545
No, she won't get mad,
but she will want
24
00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,112
to have a conversation about it.
25
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,568
"Why do you need
a second breakfast?"
26
00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,115
"Are you swallowing feelings?"
27
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,030
The problem is,
28
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,945
wives want to dive into stuff.
29
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,121
But there's no deep end
in the man pool.
30
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,645
It's three feet
all the way across.
31
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:24,084
We keep it simple, and
we get stuff done?
32
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:25,911
Which reminds me.
33
00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:28,914
What do we do if Andi's here
and we get done with work early?
34
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:32,135
We hit the batting
cages, eat some hotdogs.
35
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,311
Second lunch,
you taught me that.
36
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:37,227
No, no, because then Andi
will wonder
37
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:39,011
why do I want to hang out
with the guys?
38
00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:40,578
Why don't I want to be home?
39
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,058
So from now on,
40
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,799
if we finish work early, we say,
41
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:47,803
"Wow, we finished work early
for the first time ever.
42
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:51,546
Let's rush right home
and be with our families."
43
00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,374
That doesn't sound like us.
44
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,899
We're gonna have to
call the hotdog guy
45
00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:58,683
and let him know we're okay.
46
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:02,209
Also, Don, I have terrible news.
47
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:04,211
You have to take down
your tool girl calendar.
48
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:07,344
No. Not Donny's Angels.
49
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,694
I'll just put Post-its over
their naughty bits,
50
00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:11,870
and then we can lift them up
like little skirts.
51
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,830
If you don't take it down,
Andi's gonna have questions.
52
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,590
"Why do you feel the need
to look at other women?"
53
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,486
"Is Marcy not enough for you?"
54
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:22,229
I love Marcy. When she makes
a calendar, I'll buy that.
55
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,056
Take it down.
56
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,773
And don't put it in your desk;
you'll spend all day
57
00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:27,103
with your head in the drawer.
58
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:33,762
Hey, Dad, thanks for taking
the kids to school. My pleasure.
59
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,546
It's your first day working
with your wife,
60
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,549
so I wanted to be here to say
"nice knowing you."
61
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,769
I think I'll be all right.
62
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,206
You're gonna be together
all day, every day.
63
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,774
She's gonna get
a real long look at you.
64
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,385
And the more they look,
the more they see.
65
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,257
Who're you talking to?
66
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,084
I already wife-proofed
the trailer.
67
00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,435
I hid stuff like a good husband.
68
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,959
Good morning, fellas.
69
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,395
This is it, honey.
70
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,963
You and me working together.
71
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:02,941
Hey, can we hold hands
at the office? Probably not.
72
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,750
I won't. I might. I don't know.
Aren't you excited?
73
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,579
Of course I am. Yeah.
I'm so excited,
74
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:11,843
I am gonna hold your hand right
now, what do you think of that?
75
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,671
I like it.
76
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,108
Working together's
already so fun.
77
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,501
Give it time.
78
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,306
Hey, guys,
we made you something.
79
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,984
Wh...?
80
00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,595
Mom and Dad
lunch boxes. Cool.
81
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,597
You guys are so sweet.
82
00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:27,879
Well, we just think
it's great you guys
83
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,315
are starting this
new chapter together.
84
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,036
It's going to be wonderful.
85
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,215
Well, we love you guys.
Have a great day at school.
86
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:38,435
I bet their day won't be
as great as ours.
87
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,132
Definitely not.
88
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,830
You guys are adorable.
89
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:44,136
Have fun.
90
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:47,139
20 bucks says
they won't make it a week.
91
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:48,663
I'll take that action.
92
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,418
Here she is.
93
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,897
Can we get a warm welcome
94
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:09,597
for our new interior decorator,
Andi Burns?
95
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,815
I mean it, clap.
96
00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,689
Thank you, thank you.
97
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:17,092
Don't get me used to that or
you'll have to do it every day.
98
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:22,087
Man, it's clean in here.
99
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:23,263
Is it?
100
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,744
Hey, where is Don's
nudie calendar?
101
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:30,400
I took that down
because I got tired
102
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,576
of looking at half-naked ladies.
103
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,404
You got to grow up sometime.
104
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,625
We're so proud of him..
105
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,323
Did you change things for me?
106
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,717
I mean, did you,
like, wife-proof?
107
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,371
Wife-proof?
108
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:45,894
What's that?
109
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:48,766
You can't just make up words.
110
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:52,422
Listen, honey, don't think
of me as your wife here, okay?
111
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,902
Nothing has to change.
112
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:56,687
I am just one of the guys.
113
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:59,037
Well, since you're one of
the guys, I should tell you
114
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:02,606
that somebody's wife is
coming in today, so be cool.
115
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:05,305
I'm serious, I can hang.
116
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,350
Then great. I'm gonna put
my calendar back up.
117
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,960
I didn't grow out of it at all.
118
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,833
If anything, the older I get,
the more I need it.
119
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,488
Although,
it does make me wonder,
120
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,447
why do you feel the need
to look at those girls?
121
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,709
There it is.
122
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,885
You can't say "wife"
without "why."
123
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:24,585
Hey, Donny's Angels
are Donny's business.
124
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:27,849
Maybe Adam was right to be
worried about you working here.
125
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,938
He said he was worried?
126
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,156
You told me you were excited.
127
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,202
I-I am excited.
128
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,596
Let's hear it again
for Andi Burns.
129
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,706
So you told them you were
worried about working with me.
130
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,254
To be honest, when
I hear you say it,
131
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,648
it doesn't sound
like something I'd say.
132
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,868
Right, guys?
Back me up here.
133
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,870
Wow, we finished early
for the first time ever.
134
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,713
Let's rush right home
to be with our families.
135
00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,704
Okay, fine.
136
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,663
If I was worried about
anything, it's that...
137
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,535
it's that you like
to dig into things
138
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,798
and talk about
people's feelings.
139
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,888
Why this? Why that?
Why? Why? Why?
140
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:09,020
Why does that bother you
so much?
141
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,631
At home it's great,
142
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,633
it's tolerable, it's great.
143
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:16,419
But in this office, we like to
keep things nice and shallow.
144
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,552
Okay? Otherwise, you open
up a whole can of worms
145
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,249
and we don't get any work done.
146
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:23,208
And believe me, those two guys
have got a lot of worms.
147
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,863
Well, I don't want to get
in the way of work.
148
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,258
Okay, I can be shallow.
149
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,390
That's my girl.
150
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,826
Yeah.
151
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,610
Put Don's nudie calendar back up
152
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:36,047
and I won't ask why he likes it.
153
00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:38,659
Even though it's a clear
indication of deeper problems.
154
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,748
Great. I-It's in
Lowell's drawer.
155
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,058
My God.
156
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,902
Yeah, I-I know.
That calendar's a little much.
157
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,453
We'll skip December.
158
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,760
Mrs. Claus does not hold
a wrench like that.
159
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,806
No, no. Look at this.
160
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:59,288
It's a lease for an apartment
Lowell rented a month ago.
161
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,985
Why would he rent an apartment?
162
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:04,902
I don't know. He has a house with
a wife and kids.
163
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:07,035
Do you think
he and Jen split up?
164
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,341
How's his mood?
Does he seem okay?
165
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,909
H... These are not
shallow questions, honey.
166
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,433
Okay? Around here,
we like to stick
167
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:16,697
to stuff like,
"What kind of sauce is that?"
168
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:19,482
Sorry, you're right, I agreed.
169
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,049
Thank you. All right.
170
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:23,443
Now, let's get to work?
171
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,230
Okay, that thing
I just agreed to?
172
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,753
I don't want to do that anymore.
173
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,189
Um, you have to talk to Lowell.
174
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,061
But it's none of our business.
175
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:35,561
Okay? If he wanted to talk about
it, he would've talked about it.
176
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,892
Well, maybe he doesn't feel
comfortable talking about it
177
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,416
because you don't make him feel
comfortable talking about it.
178
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,070
You know what you're
doing right now?
179
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,593
You're opening up
a can of worms.
180
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,377
And you know what worms catch?
181
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,858
The fish of truth.
182
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,513
Look how happy you are
with yourself?
183
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,637
It's like your face thinks
what you said makes sense.
184
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,606
I'm sorry, Adam, you have
to talk to Lowell.
185
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:57,607
There's no other choice.
186
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,087
There's lots of other choices.
187
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,393
Like ignoring it.
I choose that choice.
188
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,180
I told you there'd be trouble
on day one.
189
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,748
Pay up, shorties.
190
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,010
Will you take a mini Snickers?
191
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,534
Damn right I will.
192
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,362
Lowell rented an apartment.
193
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:14,557
That's the kind
of thing people do
194
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:15,862
when their marriage
is breaking up.
195
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,366
So go check on your friend.
196
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:20,630
You know we got no
work done today, right?
197
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,416
This is why I was reluctant
198
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,027
for you to come to the office.
199
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,333
So now it's reluctant.
200
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,553
It's gone from worried
to reluctant.
201
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,338
Stop listening to my
words and let me talk.
202
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:38,343
Okay, well, if you want
to talk, go talk to Lowell.
203
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,496
Share your feelings with him
and then report back to me.
204
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,565
I don't want to do that.
I work with him.
205
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,046
That's right, he's part
of your work family.
206
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,004
That is a phrase
that a wife made up,
207
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,528
That's not a real thing.
208
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,834
Okay,
but aren't you curious
209
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,096
why he rented an apartment?
210
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,534
No, I am never curious why.
211
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:57,711
When the NASA guys were boozing
it up in mission control
212
00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:01,323
and someone said let's go to
the moon, nobody asked why.
213
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,718
Okay, you don't have
to talk to Lowell.
214
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:10,114
We can just sit here and talk
about why you don't want to.
215
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:13,291
I'll go.
216
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,512
Another piece
of space history for you.
217
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,142
The reason those guys wanted
to go to the moon
218
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,428
is they were all married.
219
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,064
I don't get it. Why do I have
to come to Lowell's apartment?
220
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:30,308
Nobody gets to ask
me why anymore.
221
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:34,269
You're so tense, maybe you need
an apple juice or something.
222
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,663
I brought you with me
just in case Andi's right
223
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,490
and Lowell's all emotional.
224
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:42,016
You're like a funny thing
for him to look at.
225
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,321
This is it.
226
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,627
All right, let's do this.
227
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,586
You and me together, brother.
228
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:51,721
Adam. How'd you find me?
229
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,158
We came to make sure
you were all right.
230
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,030
Who's we?
Me and...
231
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,598
What?
232
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:01,513
I'll be in the car.
You got this.
233
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,127
Andi found the lease to this
place and thinks maybe
234
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,216
you and Jen split
up or something.
235
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,305
Well, everything's great.
236
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,655
I knew it.
Of course it is.
237
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:16,790
Jen and I are just exploring the
adventure of marital separation.
238
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,967
You did split up.
239
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,533
W-Why didn't you say anything?
240
00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:22,970
It's only temporary.
241
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,972
More of a housing glitch
than anything.
242
00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:28,715
The glitch being she chases me
away when I go near our house.
243
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,328
Okay. That
sounds like something
244
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,417
you might want to
share feelings about.
245
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:40,074
I'm ready. Do it.
Just do it.
246
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,728
I don't want to talk about it.
247
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,468
There are no feelings here.
248
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:44,992
That's good. Great.
249
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,558
Keep it inside like a man.
250
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,735
Hey, you got any beer?
251
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,258
We can celebrate
your independence.
252
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,477
I only have light beer. Perfect!
253
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:55,567
Light beer, because
we keep it light?
254
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,707
This is where you're staying?
255
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,230
It's cozy.
256
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,798
I eat there,
257
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,452
I sit there,
258
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,280
sometimes, I walk over there,
259
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,673
but then I come back over here,
260
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,849
because this is where
the party happens.
261
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,505
You don't even have a TV.
262
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:23,291
A TV, Lowell!
263
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,945
I don't mind.
I just tape my phone
264
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,468
to the wall and watch that.
265
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:29,340
Okay. I guess that's something.
266
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,647
Wait.
267
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,301
Where's the bed?
268
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,651
I grabbed my daughter's
sleeping bag on the way out.
269
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,697
But it's three feet long.
270
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:41,657
That's okay. These days,
I sleep in the fetal position.
271
00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,617
You said
there wouldn't be feelings.
272
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,185
That gives me a big feeling,
Lowell!
273
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,666
I'm sorry. Do you want to
274
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,321
walk over there for a second
and come back over here?
275
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,844
It helps me.
276
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,064
All right, get your stuff.
277
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:58,282
You're coming with me.
278
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,980
Really?
Well, I can't
leave you here.
279
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,112
You have no TV.
You'll die!
280
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:14,516
So Lowell's staying with us?
281
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,605
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
282
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,129
Are you happy now?
283
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,871
I am happy. I think it's a
good thing I went to work today.
284
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:26,789
When I ask, "Are you happy
now?", it means I'm not happy.
285
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,139
Okay, well, after we help
Lowell, we'll help you.
286
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:31,011
Pantry!
287
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:39,236
Don't... don't you see
what you did?
288
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,544
If I don't know about stuff,
I don't have to fix it.
289
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,807
That's why I turn off
the UNICEF commercial
290
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,853
before they show the kids.
291
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,856
Otherwise, it's too sad,
and I end up buying 'em a goat.
292
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,292
You know how many goats
293
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,860
are running around
villages named Adam?
294
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,359
They-they don't
name the goats after...
295
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:58,168
Yes, they do.
Yes, they do.
296
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,475
You put me in this position!
297
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,651
So you're mad
298
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,696
because I think
you're a good person?
299
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,524
I don't love it.
300
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:09,484
And now, thanks to you, I got
a giant sad kid on my couch,
301
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:10,964
and I got to fix it.
302
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,618
Because you're a sweet
and sensitive man.
303
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,491
That's a low blow, Andi.
304
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:21,496
Why didn't you tell us
you and Jen split up?
305
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,019
Because it's just temporary.
306
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,716
Yeah, Lowell explained to us
307
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,327
that he's giving Jen some space
308
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,546
while she temporarily sleeps
309
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,679
with her horse-riding
instructor.
310
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:35,858
Yeah, the whole car ride home
was one long UNICEF commercial.
311
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,860
I have a question.
312
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,862
She's with a horse guy, right?
313
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,733
It makes me wonder.
314
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,735
Do you think
"roll in the hay" comes
315
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,346
from doing it in the hayloft?
316
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:50,003
Maybe let's save the
questions for the end.
317
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,005
Guys, I'm fine.
318
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,876
I'm sure we'll be
back together soon.
319
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,836
I-I have another question.
320
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,098
No, no, no. No.
321
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,362
It's a real one.
322
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,407
If she did this to you,
323
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,845
why do you want her back?
324
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,282
Every so often,
he surprises you.
325
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,504
Like a whale surfacing
next to your kayak.
326
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:16,638
Startling, but beautiful.
327
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,074
Yeah.
328
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:21,077
I want her back
because she's my...
329
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,471
We've been...
330
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:26,822
Why dol want her back?
331
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,433
I was a great husband
332
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,348
and she wasn't that good a wife.
333
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:33,133
This is a little thing,
334
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,918
but she never once replaced
an empty toilet paper roll.
335
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,833
I think she did it
just to make me duck-walk
336
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,488
around the house
with my pants around my ankles.
337
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,882
Yes, the march
of the penguins.
338
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:46,233
I deserve better!
339
00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,931
You know what?
You really do.
340
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:49,995
And you're on my team now,
341
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,152
and no one screws with my team.
342
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,588
I want to do something.
343
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:55,198
I just...
I don't know what.
344
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,983
I'll tell you
what you're gonna do.
345
00:14:57,026 --> 00:15:00,595
Look at him. He's gonna
buy that kid a goat.
346
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:04,077
You and the team are gonna
go over to your house,
347
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,210
get all your stuff and let
Jen know that you are moving on.
348
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,559
Yes!
Right?
349
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,257
No.
Why?
350
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,017
We can't. Her and the girls
are at her parents',
351
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,913
and she changed the locks
on our house.
352
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:17,046
What? She changed the locks
on you after what shedid?.
353
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:20,267
I really want to slap this girl
right in the sweet potatoes.
354
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,706
So we'll just break in.
Then when she gets back
355
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,316
and sees that all
your stuff is gone,
356
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,970
she'll be in for a big surprise.
357
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,233
Yeah, a meansurprise.: Yeah.
358
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:33,933
Like I got the day I came to
pick her up early at the barn.
359
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,152
Let's not look back.
Let's look forward.
360
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:38,328
I bet she was looking
back, though, right?
361
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:44,160
What? I've been good this
whole time. I don't get one?
362
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,955
Shh!
363
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,052
Okay.
Let go. Let go!
364
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,097
Ooh.
365
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,451
This is like when Dad tried to
save money on the pony ride.
366
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,105
Just go.
No, yougo ahead.
367
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:18,542
Okay, I'm taking you
with me.
What? What?
368
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,592
What are you doing?
369
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,463
Hiding the remote
under the cushion.
370
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,117
Try and change the
channel now, Jen.
371
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:31,425
You'll have to walk to
the TV like a sucker.
372
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,098
Okay, let's just get Lowell's
stuff and get out of here.
373
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,646
Relax. Nobody saw us break in.
374
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:37,474
We were sneaky, like ninjas.
375
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,695
Shady Side Security.
376
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,044
Shh.
377
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,698
They don't know we're in here.
378
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,439
I know you're in there.
379
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,181
One of you is wearing
light-up shoes.
380
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,184
I told you not
to wear those stupid shoes.
381
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,145
Marcy and I are going
power-walking after this.
382
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,147
Safety first, guys.
383
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,803
Wait. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
384
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,066
What are you gonna say? Don't worry.
I got this.
385
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,244
Thank God you're here.
386
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,899
These violent criminals
broke into my house.
387
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:13,554
Look, Mr. Franklin,
your wife told the office
388
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:17,558
you two separated and to keep an
eye out for you, so, let's go.
389
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:20,126
Wait a minute.
Where's the other guy?
390
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,087
What other guy?
391
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,829
They don't pay me enough
to care. Come on.
392
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,918
If I ever
393
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,660
become a criminal, this is the
first neighborhood I'm hitting.
394
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,706
I can't believe
395
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,143
Adam ditched us.
396
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,493
I thought if anybody'd
run away, it'd be you.
397
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,669
Well, I wouldn't
have gotten very far.
398
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:44,106
The faster I move,
the brighter my shoes blink.
399
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,414
Why did I hide the remote?
400
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,111
I should've taken it!
401
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,547
Everyone loves
finding the remote.
402
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,419
Now she's gonna find it
and be happy.
403
00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,595
That's not payback!
404
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,466
Where have you been?
405
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,033
Well,
406
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,643
while you jokers
were getting caught,
407
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,950
I hid in the closet
like a ninja.
408
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:07,912
You can't just say normal things
and then add "like a ninja."
409
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:10,524
I ate a meatball sandwich...
like a ninja.
410
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:13,048
Don't step on my moment, Andi.
411
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,702
I'm getting to something good.
412
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:18,009
Okay, now,
I didn't get your clothes,
413
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,577
because, well, honestly,
I couldn't tell the difference
414
00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:22,144
between yours and Jen's.
415
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,800
But I did find a way
416
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,019
to make her very unhappy.
417
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,196
This is my gift to you.
418
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,857
Her toilet paper?
419
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,947
He took her toilet paper!
That's so imaginative.
420
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:46,516
Every roll in the house.
421
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,171
Who's gonna be doing
the march of the penguins now?
422
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,479
That is good.
Yeah.
423
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:55,177
Plus, it saves me a run
to Costco.
424
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,005
Yeah. Yeah. And now,
425
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,702
there's no one there
to replace it.
426
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:01,183
She is gonna regret
the day she let you go.
427
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,533
Every time she has to go.Yeah.
428
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,798
Now thatis payback.
429
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,539
Enjoy the duck walk.
430
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,802
Quack quack, Jen.
431
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,544
Thank you for this.
432
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,242
You're welcome.
433
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,291
You hug like a ninja.
434
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,339
Thank you, Lowell.
435
00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,521
Okay, Lowell is out cold.
436
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,740
He really does sleep
in the fetal position.
437
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:39,917
I tried to straighten him out,
438
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,224
and he just snapped right back,
like a curly hair.
439
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,576
Sorry we didn't get
much work done today.
440
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,622
We've done less.
441
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:51,277
Well, I-I'm serious.
442
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,670
I don't want me being
at work to stress you out.
443
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,368
I mean, in one day, you went
444
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,500
from excited to
worried to reluctant.
445
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,633
Honey, that's just
the three stages
446
00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,243
of working-with-your-wife grief.
447
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:04,855
Okay, and now,
I am at the fourth stage:
448
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:07,510
joyful acceptance.
449
00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:11,514
So no more wife-proofing?
No more hiding things?
450
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:14,996
I do have
one small confession.
451
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:19,348
What? I got a huge crush
on the new guy.
452
00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:22,003
Aw.
453
00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:23,831
No, seriously, I'm glad
you were there.
454
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,852
If it wasn't for you, I never
would've known about Lowell,
455
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:27,182
and I think we helped him.
456
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,185
You know, he's got a TV now.
457
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:34,494
And sometimes,
that's better than a family.
458
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,322
You are very wise.
459
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:39,760
Like a...?
460
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,292
Like a ninja.
461
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,425
Yeah.
462
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:55,428
I made you say that...
like a ninja.
463
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,523
Captioning sponsored by CBS
464
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:06,656
Captioned by
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access.wgbh.org
34135
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